The Grand Scheme

In the grand scheme of things, for the first time in almost a decade can say with confidence everything will all be okay now.

Looking back over memories on my FB wall from today back until 2009 realized exactly how far we have come.

We survived both of us being unemployed at the same time, with Tim being unemployed for almost two years. During that time had to use all of our savings and all of our 401k to simply pay the bills.

Tim got a new job and after six months of  menial grunt work got promoted and sent to Lubbock, Texas for almost two years. I stayed here (Georgia then) with our two younger kids and got a fantabulous job making money hand over fist.

Then Tim got another promotion and was shipped to Orlando in January of this year. I still stayed in the house with the kids and worked through the busy summer season at the world's busiest airport in the new international terminal.

Over the past three years we've missed birthdays, anniversaries  and holidays together. When Tim was in Texas, only came home twice for a two day visit and once for a week in the summer. It wasn't easy but gave us some much needed distance between us to let ill feelings, built up resentment and anger subside.

It literally saved our marriage.

Marriage was so easy for us for the first twenty years. It's easy to be happy when you never have to worry. Both our salaries continued to rise and our three kids had everything they needed and then some.

We bought our first brand new home and moved the kids to the burbs to raise them. We took them to Disney every spring with our tax return and to the beach for a week every summer.

Sometimes you begin to take life for granted and think nothing bad will come your way.

Not always so.

Life doesn't come with any guarantee. What you have this very instant can be gone before you take another breath.

We would have never survived without countless others helping us to but can also say we never gave up. We worried a lot but we never gave up.

My latest worry has been me going from raking in tremendous money to making average sometimes above money. Had the whole job transfer gone as planned would still have several thousand in savings.

Didn't happen and that was wiped out too.

What I have learned (mostly through writing this blog) is my story has helped to inspire others. A lot of others.

I've received comments, text messages, private messages and hugs from people I know and even people I don't know.

I've encouraged others and life simply can't give you a greater compliment.

Our life has been one step forward and sometimes two steps back.

The moving is what matters.

You'll never go anywhere if you remain in the same place.

Our season of failure is over and time to reap rewards of the seeds we've sown all these past years.

It's been a little tough lately, not gonna lie.

We've moved to another state and starting all over again.

So what I'm not making a sh*t load of money right now?

So what my car payment is two days late this month?

Five years ago we were six months behind on our mortgage and seriously close to losing our home. Now it will be paid off in full before spring time.

That is what matters. The good, not the bad.

I'm sticking it out with my new job. The money isn't amazing now but enough to get by on and see great things coming... sooner than later.

So thanks for letting me share my ups and downs. Thanks for helping me through my ups and downs. And thanks for telling me it's also helped you.

There's a lot going on in this world today... which is a whole lot worse than anything any of us reading this blog could ever imagine happening to them.

Be glad it isn't, and pray for them.

Dan Fogelberg said it best:

I have these moments
All steady and strong
I'm feeling so holy and humble
The next thing I know
I'm all worried and weak
And I feel myself starting to crumble

The meanings get lost
And the teachings get tossed
And you don't know what
You're going to do next
You wait for the sun
But it never quite comes
Some kind of message
Comes through to you
Some kind of message comes through

And it says to you. . .

Love when you can
Cry when you have to
Be who you must
That's a part of the plan
Await your arrival
With simple survival
And one day we'll all understand.

I think I'm finally beginning to.

Til next time...COTTON