Wednesday, October 16, 2013

As Jed Clampett Would Say, "Pitiful... Just Pitiful"

Dang it, I've struck out the past two days at  the store and it ticks me off. I've had some people come by and seem very interested always promising to come back. I even had  two people call back to ask questions after they left and one guy come by twice. I still have tomorrow so I'll have to make it big could happen! I Facebook a lot of pictures and offers and have made three big sales just from social networking so maybe tomorrow will be MY DAY!

Then you  get that ONE person come in. She was in her sixties wearing her bedazzled jeans, wrists loaded with bangles, fingers weighed down by  tacky rings big  as a watch, a watch  that was even bigger and the strongest smelling perfume I've ever smelled. I could still smell it a hour after she left.

She didn't want to buy, I think she simply wanted a friend. She got me.

My LAWD, she talked for almost a hour. Her husband (Richard, I learned) was at  the Dollar Tree next door. He needed a comb and she told him  to go right on in there and get him one. At first I was pumped, she started out talking about how they had spent three thousand dollars on a Temperpedic and it killed her back. She tried out every mattress in the store and told me a different story while on every bed she tested.

 I finally got tired of following her around when she launched into the story of her only  pregnancy at  the age of twenty one which ended in a miscarriage. I plopped down on a huge memory foam mattress (my favorite one) and asked if she minded me laying down for this one?

She didn't bat an eye, just came over and joined me on the king size bed. Then I heard all about the forty acres they own and always intended to build  but the time just never seemed right. They are still in a subdivision, but  you'd never know it. They said  they were going to put up a sign for the subdivision when they built but never did. You just have to look for the street sign.

Once she got comfy on the bed beside me I heard all about her aunt who died out of the blue. She never knew her aunt was sick, she seemed healthy but just like that she was gone. She wished she had known her aunt was feeling poorly because she would have gone down to her house and taken care of her.

Then Richard (her husband) walks into  the store looking for her. I asked him  to show me the comb he bought but he was looking at his phone. I didn't know a Jitterbug had text capacity but he looked busy so I left him alone. She told him to come try out the bed we were on, which immediately got me up.

Then she started telling Richard all the things she had been telling me. I heard all  the stories yet again and after her asking for his input, he had nothing to say but continued to stare at  the screen of his phone.

Then she launched into  a story about a woman at her church who was helping with Wednesday night dinner when somebody spilled grease on the floor and didn't bother to wipe it up. Poor old Inez, who already had a bad hip slipped on it and has been laid up ever since.

I started thinking to myself that probably wasn't  even a phone Richard was carrying around.

Then after she told me about their trip to Biloxi with a bed in the hotel room so uncomfortable it made her own bed feel like heaven. I had to stop her before I killed her. (totally kidding)  I told them it had been great chatting with them (her) but guessed I had better get back to work.

Then she said the most bizarre thing. (like the rest hadn't been bizarre enough) She wanted to know when I worked and told her Tuesday through Thursday.  She said "Will you be here about six months from now?"

I  told her probably so and she finally followed Richard (who was still looking at his pseudo  phone) out the door.

I'm no doctor (although I could play one on TV)  but almost feel like Richard  takes her out places to save his OWN sanity.

I didn't sell squat but had plenty of spare time and think I made a woman who's mind is in the beginning  stages of "Exit stage left" pretty happy and gave Richard a hour off.

I didn't make any money, I didn't make a sale but  made a woman happy for one hour.

Not sure what the commission is for that but it ought to be something.

So maybe it wasn't a total loss for me today, it certainly wasn't for my new friend who never even told me her name. I'm not sure she knows it either but at least she was happy for one hour.

Til next  time...COTTON

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