Monday, October 14, 2013

Poor Tim

I am married to the most patient man on earth, except when it comes to me. I'll be the first to admit I am partly to blame. He's all laid back and I'm all "In Your Face!"

Perfect example. I was getting ready for work the other morning in our bedroom. It was early and kind of chilly outside. I was sitting on the bedroom floor in front of the little mirror I use to put on my face and asked Tim to turn off the overhead fan for a minute. There are two switches by  the door. The first switch  controls the light, the second controls the fan. Tim walked over and cut the first switch off. Like the sweet person I am, looked up and said "Are you serious?" Standard Tim answer, "What?" He said the first switch controlled them both. Here's my question. We've lived here for almost eighteen years. Hasn't he ever wondered what the second switch was for?

Second example. Zach took me to lunch today before going into work for what felt like the hundredth day in a row. (although I am getting close) We got home and like the old woman I am had to pee RIGHT THEN. We have three bathrooms. One in our bedroom on the third floor, another in  the hall upstairs by  the kid's room and one on the first floor right off the kitchen and garage. I screamed in the door and turned the corner to  the bathroom to find the door shut and locked. I banged on the door and heard Tim say "WHAT?" I asked him what he was doing in there and told him I had to pee really bad. He said calmly from  the other side of the door "What do you THINK I am doing in here?"

I guess it's not like he heard my car pulling in and thought to himself "I bet Kelly really has to pee, let me go into the bathroom and lock the door."

I got to work tonight and realized my bosses who  are married to each other are much like Tim and me. Barb was in the office griping at her husband , Len because when he goes into  their laundry room instead of hanging a hanger on the rack above  the washer simply leaves it on top of the washer. HOW DARE HE?

I looked at  Len, who looked at me with  a look on his face like "Somebody help me here."

I decided to help him out after realizing I treat Tim much  the same way. I told them both about being mad at Tim for being in the bathroom when I got home needing to pee. Barb took it completely the  wrong way and wagged her finger in her husband's face saying "See, you're all the same!"

Barb walked off and so did I. I found Len in the back of the kitchen a few minutes later going on hour eleven of his work day and apologized. I told him I had being trying to help but was sorry it didn't work out that way. He smiled and shook his head as he calmly said "Barb is like one of the old Western movies. Shoot first and ask questions later."

Had another magnificent night at work. You  can't always count on them but you  always appreciate when they happen.

My first  table was a young couple. I seated them since the hostess wasn't there yet. I asked if they wanted a table or booth? He said it didn't matter when she spoke up and said "Booth please." I winked at him and said "You'll be married one day and won't have to think again for the rest of your life." She cracked up but he said "Please don't encourage her."

The next  table came in and was the other server's turn but  asked for me. I seated them right behind the young couple I was already waiting on. They are an older (than me) couple who are Italian and love our food. The husband asked if we had the new Black Label Budweiser beer? I told him that Barb didn't even carry Budweiser anymore and he asked why? I said I guess she was trying to weed out the rednecks.

The young girl and guy I had seated behind them first laughed and the girl was covering her mouth so she wouldn't show her amusement. I glanced over at her table and said "That's okay, these peeps know me and how I am."

I turned back around to the older couple and said "Barb did add PBR and Colt 45 if you're interested .

This got a flat outburst from  the young girl seated behind them. When the young couple paid their tab, $49.00 they left me a twenty seven dollar tip. I wasn't there when they left so ran out the front door to thank them. They were walking out holding hands and I shouted "Thanks for the phat tip!" She smiled , said  they had enjoyed the meal and  the show. I told her she must be a server and she said she was. That's the way it is in our serving world. We take care of our own.

Once again the tipping gods smiled on me and I once again walked out with my buddy Ben before nine thirty.

Came home tired and ready for bed. Zach was  off from work and all pumped up to fry chicken using the recipe we got from the church ladies at Franny's funeral when they fed us an all out feast after her service.

Of course I bitched about it. It went something like this:

I told Zach  I was tired and want to go to bed. Zach came back, "Who's stopping you?" I decided to blog and let him fry chicken. Two of his buddies came by to eat and it felt good to have kids in  the house again. Zach's buddy is from San Salvador and I got him to help me with my lingo. I always say "O Mi Dios" at  work to the Latinos and they always laugh and sometimes say it back to me. I know  it isn't the correct  way  to say OMG but gets my point across and besides that, they all love me.

Tonight not only had some fantastic fried chicken at  midnight but learned that I should be saying "Ay Dios Mio."

It was nice to have a house full of kids again, they keep me young. Tonight was my Friday at  the restaurant and  tomorrow is my Monday at the Mattress store. Headed in with a bag of chicken instead of a sandwich and looking forward to it.

Ay Dios Mio, I am a truly blessed woman!

I saw this on Facebook tonight and was what started the entire thought process  for this blog. Tim would never in a million years do  this to me but makes me re think how I view our marriage. Yes he can be a dummy but he is a dummy who loves this crazy person and  this crazy person loves him.

"I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love.” (Dr Seuss)

Yep, I'm lucky!

Til next  time, Senora Algodon!

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