Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Triumphs and Trepidations of Raising a Son

I waited on a couple at work today that had a son, MAYBE almost two.

They ordered their food, having a side dish to spare that they didn't want, and I told them to order something for the toddler instead.

The mom said okay..bring a baked sweet potato with butter and cinnamon, maybe he will eat it.

After the meal came, I asked if everything was alright...and how was that sweet potato going over with the toddler?

The dad, who was currently eating the sweet potato said "He won't eat it".

I told them, just wait until they can SAY what they won't eat and challenge you at every remark, comment and turn .

I told them to enjoy it now, because when he is 14, it will be a nightmare.

I also told them to hold on to their sanity throughout the 13-14 year old stage, because when they hit sixteen they seem to soften and return to reality.

I told them the story of my own son, who at 14 had hair down to his shoulders (front and back) and looked like cousin "IT" from the Addams Family.

My husband and I both agreed it was a useless and unproductive battle , that we chose not to pursue.

It is kind of like when they bring home a girl you hate...tell them you hate her and they will bring her back in a week and introduce her as their wife.

We left the hair issue alone for over a year, when one day he came to me and said (thankfully) "Mom, will you take me to get a haircut"?

I was so excited..A HAIR CUT!!!

When we got to Great Clips... I sat in the car (like the mom of a 15 year old should).

When he came out twenty minutes later... he had a mow-hawk.
Not just a mow-hawk... but one with Liberty Spikes.

(Refer to a parental guide for a definition).

What could I say? What could I do?

We decided to ignore this next phase and pray for the next one.

He went to school to have his class picture taken and the principal told him to take his hair down for the picture.

My son was devastated and embarrassed in front of all of his classmates.
It was the first time in over twenty years that my husband EVER went to the school to fight his kid's battle.

He asked the principal if it was a COUNTY rule against mow-hawks.

It was IN FACT...NOT.

It was the Principal's personal opinion that my son's hairstyle was a distraction.

My husband (God Bless Him) stated that It was a violation of my son's freedom of expression...(although both of us hated it)...HE HAD THE RIGHT!!! AND HE KNEW IT!!

Once this battle was fought and quickly fell to the wayside.

He now is clean cut and handsome.

He is just one of those kids that KNOWS "his rights"...and he is correct.

If he wants to look like an idiot...that is his right.

He stands up for his rights... knows them hands down...and uses , upholds his rights and liberties as he knows he is entitled to. (Damn , he is smart...just not using it wisely at this point).

He has moved on, and has grown into a son that I am proud of... maybe a little prouder.

He is a man that will change the world one day.

He has visions and ideas that even astound me!

My husband has even said that if we can get him out of high school...he will be the next BILL GATES!

He has worn me thin over the years, but made me love him even more for standing up for his beliefs and convictions...and being able to back them up every inch of the way.

Sometimes I wonder who's son he really is?


Gotta love those boys... they try you, they test you and they can wear you out.

The biggest problem I have with my 13 year old daughter is keeping her room clean.

I am sure my day with her is coming least SHE is on a cycle!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I decided to back out of classmates, because of my "cyber" stalker.

She had turned the website so negative and so ranting that no one even enjoyed it anymore.

I posted that I was leaving and told classmates and new friends I had met, I would check in on them, but would remain silent.

TWO minutes after posting, I received another rant...titled "BOO HOO".

What kind of vindictive, waiting assailant is bent on the edge of their chair...wanting to type yet another sarcastic attack?

At least I am out of the chat room, out of her spiteful touch and out of the biggest online drama I have ever known!

I am going to my sister's tomorrow to print off a copy of the entire "SitCom" because my printer isn't working yet. (maybe she has hacked into my entire internet system).

It is on the edge of unbelievable and outrageous.

This has been a big lesson for me..and will be a bigger lesson for her.

What you put out on the internet is out there FOREVER. I can go back and print off all of these attacks, tirades and rants.

How can a fifty year old woman be so freakin bent on destroying me?

I had a former classmate call me at work tonight, telling me that she was worried for my safety (yes, it is THAT vicious).

I believe this person is nothing more than someone who obviously has a lot more free time than me and a chip on her shoulder the size of Stone Mountain.

We are probably the most "watched" site on classmates, if for nothing more than entertainment.

I am moving on, leaving her, and her "redunkilus" (as my thirteen year old daughter says) posts in the wayside.

If I don't post tomorrow...maybe I was wrong.

If I don't come in from pushing out the trash...someone come looking for me.

I will have to say she has me looking over my shoulder, but looking at my past too.

Could I POSSIBLY have been that mean to her thirty one years ago that it still is THAT big of a deal to her?

I don't remember being an alter boy, but I know that I wasn't the demon she projects.


Just kidding...(I HOPE)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

"CRASH" !!!!

I have been off line for over a week.

I never knew how much I depended on my computer.

Four Trojan viruses, a corrupt system file...and I was "OUTTA" touch with the entire world(so I felt).

Back on line, with a loaner tower from my brother in law until we buy a new computer.

I feel as if I have been on a deserted island...frantically searching for my "WILSON". (You would have to watch "Castaway" with Tom Hanks to get that one...although it is an excellent movie and brings a lot of what we take for granted into perspective)

If you read my blog at all, last year I wrote a post called "The Thirty Year Grudge".

Guess what?

She is back with a vengeance, and attacking my sacred(to me) sister as well.

This girl that I went to high school with OVER thirty years ago, has made it her personal mission to verbally and literally assassinate me, my family and my name.

Obviously being the "PEON" that I am, she has way too much spare time.

It really didn't bother me until she included my sister in her cut throat remarks.

She assumes since I have written several comments on my classmates website that are pretty stinking savvy (if I may say so myself)...that my sister is writing them for me.

My sis rarely ever types on the classmates site, I guess that I was such a doofus in high school that she doesn't think I am capable of expressing myself intelligently or articulately.


In her last post she summed me up this way "Your hypocrisy has no bounds".

What in the hell is she smoking, or what does she NEED to smoke?

I have decided to totally ignore her comments about me and continue "wowing" the readers with my fluent verbal diarrhea and just leaving it to them to question her acidity on the site.

My friends at work think that she is stalking me and consider her dangerous...I consider her a challenge for me to be above her petty attacks, and will rely on my true friends to do the responding(which they have done quickly and savagely).

THIRTY YEARS...this girl has hated me for thirty years.

What does that say when you can't believe that a person grows from the seventeen year old person you knew in 1978 and is a totally and completely different person now?

I truly think it may be because when I joined, the message board was rarely followed and dull as dirt.

I made a couple of posts about East Point, the town I grew up in, and it brought so many views and responses that it is still the most "viewed" item on the entire site.

My classmates have rallied behind me, I have stopped responding to her threatening and vindictive posts...I will let the other masses speak (and BOY are they).

How can you take a grudge from 1978 and turn it into a life mission?

It really didn't bother me until she dragged my sister into the she is just being a "BEE-AACH".

If you ever get a free moment, go to classmates for Russell High school in East Point, Ga and read the sitcom we have going on.

Desperate Housewives has NOTHING on us...It is an ABSOLUTE HOOT!!

Her posts about me read like a manifesto from the uni-bomber.

It truly IS entertainment (at the cost of my good name)...although I know that any one that knows me...knows the real Kelly...and to me that is all that matters in the long run.

If you decide to look it up, just look for anything written by me and there will be a response by my biggest fan(..NOT..)

Glad to be back on line, and will post more tomorrow....COTTON

Monday, January 19, 2009

New Day, New President, New Hope

My two younger kids watched the "I Have A Dream" speech given by MLK in August 1963(I think that is the right year) on CNN today with me.

My daughter said that it gave her chills.
My son said that he was well read and intelligent.

Their mom says that it has finally come full circle.
MLK has found his voice, he has seen his dream come true.

Barack Obama is NOT a black man.

He is half black, but he is a man that is young, inspired and ready to face an enormous and daunting task.

Our country has floundered and suffered...are we not wanting and needing a change?

My friends have come at me with attacks at every level with my choice, all have been dis proven.

Can people not see that the entire nation...mostly and most importantly "YOUNG" citizens have been awakened and want to do what EVERY American should do...CARE ENOUGH TO VOTE!

It all starts with a vote, and ends up with a decision.

The decision has been made, the ball has been tossed into his court.

What he does with that ball is out of our hands at this point, but it is where it needs to be in my estimation.

Whether you are a dem, pub or indy, have you ever, ever seen such enthusiasm or support for an incoming PRES?


If you are disgusted that a "BLACK" man is in are DISGUSTING to me. You need to look at yourself in the mirror, and realize that only by the grace of God, you are who you are...and there are millions more created by him out here walking amongst us...and MAYBE looking at you the same way.

"To be judged not by the color of your skin, but by the content of your character".

It is a new day in is a new hope and possibility not only for Barack's supporters, but for us ALL.

It will take time...but not the eight years that Cheney took.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

ANOTHER COUSIN...Was I asleep?

When I posted about my cousins and their grand kids, I inadvertently said that my cousin had two kids...I don't know what I was smoking... I tend to mix up my two cousins from afar. This cousin has two girls and a boy. (Sorry Kim...OR Beth).

I see them only at reunions or funerals these days.

One cousin has two kids and the other has three.

Also my cuz wrote back that his grand daughter wasn't the best flautist in the nation, but the state of Georgia.

I'll still let "The Nation" stand.

Unless the #1 in the country reads my blog...

We are sticking to my original post...I am quite sure she will be there one day!

Kids excelling.
Kids making a difference.
Kids becoming our future and our hope.

This is the hope and refreshing promise of a greater tomorrow.

I am tremendously excited about Tuesday.
I worked a ten hour shift today and will pick up a shift tomorrow (My only day off).

That way I can take Tuesday off to not only savor the moment, but to watch history being made and watch one of the greatest moments in my time... the turning of an era, the awakening of young people at the polls, and their realization that EVERY vote makes a difference.

It will be a long , hard road...not unlike the one that FDR had to go down.

You have to admit, whether you are a Dem or a Repub...the country has never been more excited or alive about a new administration in my lifetime as a voter.

He is not a messiah ... He is a man with a vision, enthusiasm and millions of supporters that want to believe that he CAN make a change...And in my book...a change is DEFINITELY needed.

As he said at the train station yesterday...he will make mistakes.

Blessedly, keeping Dick Cheney around won't be one of them!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bragging Rights !!

Got an email today from my cousin in Rabun Gap , Georgia.

He is a retired dentist (YES, I actually have an intelligent lineage from which surprisingly I come).

He has a son and daughter that have always been extremely intelligent and real go getter's.

His grand kids have picked up where their parents left off.

One is the number one flautist in her age group in the country, the other is a rising vocalist that hopefully will send me free tickets to her Broadway debut.

Me, with my funny little self sent him back an email... after he brought me up to speed on his grand kid's latest and greatest accolades.

I informed him that my youngest son held the world record for the longest stint on a video game (nine hours...not to brag too much) and that my daughter was very popular in every class...especially her after school math tutoring (her FAVORITE social club).

My oldest son has postponed his college degree in his sophomore year to move to LA to pursue his dream of being either an actor or a model. (I wish he had a little more self esteem) JK !!

KIDS!!! What can you do but love them for who they are and pray every night that they FINALLY see the light?

I know that they are a product of having a mother that works too much and one that is WAY too easy on them. Hopefully what I instilled in them on the "fly by" will kick in one day. Don't get me wrong, they are GREAT kids...just not living up to their potential.

Sometimes... no...ALL the time, I think it is my fault they are so lackluster in their studies, and I am most probably right.

But I have a deep and sincere belief that ONE day...ONE DAY...they will wake up and not only realize, but use and put forth the potential that they all three have inside of them.

I truly believe in "KARMA".

My kids may be wearing me and my husband out now, but hopefully it is to make it all the sweeter when they realize what they can do with themselves, when they actually apply themselves and strive for a goal.

They are all three SO much smarter than me, I just haven't pushed them enough.

But when "Push comes to shove" I am sure that they will all at least land on their feet and not only make me proud, but themselves as well.

HEY!! At least they have some really smart cousins they can call on!!

JUST kidding.

My kids will be fine( I hope and pray)... they are just stumbling, not quiting.

I will be here every step and mis- step of the way.

When my cousin's grand daughter has an LA premier...We will all stay at TJ's mansion for free and it will all have come full circle...don't ya think?

Til next optimistic COTTON

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Guess Who's Coming to Lunch? ...AGAIN!!

Once again the walkers were piled up and the wheelchairs rolled in!!

The ladies from the "home" paid me another delightful visit.

The same two nurses were with them. Two incredibly patient and reassuring individuals who make these folks mere existence (that is all some of them are doing...just existing)the epitome of quality care , respect...and realize that each and every one of them are due these things , having to bear the burden of Alzheimer's.

My manager came up to me before we opened and said "Your girls are coming in today for lunch".

I knew immediately who he was talking about. If YOU don't, please go back to last year's posts and read about my previous visit from these ladies. I posted it on Jan 9, 2008.

We had a male visitor today along with the ladies...a "Dapper Dan" type. He and the woman next to him ordered the same meal and he was so attentive and protective of her, that I asked the nurses if they were married. ?

They told me in fact they were married.

I replied that "At least they were going down this road together".

Everyone kept their granny panties on today, and no one even wandered off!

One woman did ask if she could take her steak home with her.

I told her I would box it up for her, and she pulled me down to her head and whispered..."Could I take it on this china dish ; I'll pay for it...I just want it".

I took her steak (on the china dish) wrapped it tightly in foil, threw in a loaf of bread and some plastic utensils. It just seemed to make her day...I know it made MINE!!

Another one of the women ordered hot tea, I made her a cup with the boiling hot water out of the coffee machine.

I returned to the table and my new friend (with a sweet English accent) said that the tea was cold. I KNEW it wasn't, but if SHE felt like it was...I would comply with her wishes and get her a new cup. I did it three times and every time, she complained that it was cold. I told another server, I hope she isn't scalding her throat with the tea.

I nicknamed this sweet lady "The Queen" since she was obviously from across the "Pond" as we say over here in "Hooterville".

They made my day.

I told the nurses that I had told about a hundred people the story of them coming in last year, to which they replied that they had probably done the same!

To wait on, not only these ladies but the two women that take such tremendous time and care with one of the high perks that I have being a server.

Some are quite lucid and some are almost pitiful. But I treat every one of them the same. They are all someone's daughter.

They entered this earth years and years ago, and now are biding time until they leave this earth to return to their Father.

It was an EXCELLENT day for me and I hope at least a GOOD one for them.

On the way out one of the nurses said "Oh, we'll be back".

I love their optimism!!

Till next time...COTTON

Monday, January 12, 2009

Ole Folks...Ya Gotta Love'em !!

I went to my sister's house today for lunch. YUM YUM...gettum some! The lunch was great and she even offered to give me a Lenten rose to take home and plant.

She dug it up out of her side yard and told me to go home and replant and surround it with pine straw.

Went to the grocery store first and once home, brought in my groceries first.

My neighbor across the drive is an elderly retired gentleman who lives with his wife...and seems to watch our every move in and out of the house, while leaning across the back of the bed of his truck smoking a seemingly endless cigarette and staring at our house...waiting for movement. (I will have to admit, we do a LOT of moving and shaking over here in our "CASA").

So anyway...I finally got the Lenten rose plant out of the back of my car and sat it on the ground next to the car.

My "OLE" always watching neighbor...spat out.."I hope you are taking that plant inside tonight".

I said that actually I was fixing (a BIG southern word) to dig a hole and plant it right into my front yard.

He came right back at me like a swift volley...

"You know it's gonna be 17 degrees tonight".
I told him that the plant had just come straight out of my sister's yard and it seemed to be doing okay.

With a doubtful shrug of his shoulders, he shook his head like "Okay, idiot...go ahead and plant it".

When I got home from my sister's house I called to tell her my little story...and as usual, she had one ready to beat it!

After I left, her door bell rang.

She answered it, into the face of a happy and pleasant older woman who seemed flustered.

She told my sister that she was just SO SO lost and could my sister possibly help her.

My sister told her that she had only recently moved into Senoia, and hoped that she could help her.

They went into the house, the woman was looking for Lawshe road.

My sister couldn't find it in the phone book map and told the woman she could google the street.

They struck up a conversation and the older woman told my sister that in fact she too had just moved to the south side of Atlanta and really liked it.

My sister found the directions for this woman on line and went to send her on her way, my sister said, "Well you know where I live come visit anytime"

The woman said to come visit her as well.

My sister responded...WHERE?...where do you live?

The older woman said "Right off of Lawshe Rd".

We thought she needed directions to a new friend's house...She needed directions HOME!!!

At least she stopped and asked, and at least she knocked on a really nice person's door.

This will be me in such a few short years. Thank goodness I have three children.

One of them will get the short straw...but the one that gets the short straw will take care of me, and be in charge the rotation of my care between siblings.

I hope they all remember what a good and "suck up" mom I am now.

If it makes my kids feel ANY better...

I WILL have a "DNR".

Til next time...COTTON

Saturday, January 10, 2009

All Roads Lead Out of Atlanta

Just got home from a party with my husband.

One of his customer's companies had a belated Christmas party ...trucking companies are extremely busy during the holiday rush and put off company parties til after New Years.

It was by the CNN center in downtown Atlanta.

It took 30 minutes to get from the exit off the downtown connector to the CNN center (a usual five minute drive).

When we finally got to the parking deck of the restaurant...we discovered the "Monster Truck" show was at the Georgia Dome. (Only in the south would it attract thousands and thousands of people on a rainy January night)!!

When left the party, to our delight we realized the "Monster Truck" show had just ended as well!!

We sat in traffic for another fifteen minutes before my husband (a former truck driver in downtown Atlanta for twenty years) wheedled us onto side streets and got us out of the throng of people...

Straight into the Ghetto...I can say this because I have lived here on the outskirt of Atlanta for forty eight years and have seen people, neighborhoods and conditions like this my entire when I say we were "In the Hood"...I know of what I speak!

At first it was "Shoot, maybe we should turn left here to try to get on 29"?!!

It quickly became "Damn, look at those women kicking her out of the liquor store and beating her down"!!

When we finally started to come to an intersection, I leaned forward and was looking around for a street sign, when My husband said "Don't be all looking around and leaning forward like we are LOST".

The intersection we finally were able to see said "Hamilton Homes". My husband said "We don't need to be here if it was DAYTIME"! Turned right on red and headed another direction.

My husband felt relieved when it finally turned into a four lane and eventually turned into I-285.

We were miles out of the way, but on our way back to suburbia. PLUS you are less likely to get car jacked going 70 MPH.

The party was really nice, good food and a great eclectic crowd. I am really glad we went. It was nice to have a "Date night".

But the ride home... "Can my husband show a gal the sights or WHAT"???

We didn't dare even joke about it until we were half way around the perimeter, when my husband said "I feel like someone is STILL following me".

He is my knight in shining armour and he got me home safe and sound... when he said " I almost need a double deuce" as we pulled into the gas station of our nice and safe neighborhood, I thought he was talking about some type of lottery ticket ...then he told me that was slang for a 22 ounce bottle of beer. (He can be really funny when I let him...I just rarely quit talking).

My husband and I both know how lucky we are to not only have each other but to have our kids and extended family, good jobs and advantages that millions of people may never have ... we know how blessed we are.

I made light and fun of the ride was a blog too good to pass up!!

But it WAS scary at the point that even my husband (who has been driving and delivering in this city for 25 years) knew it wasn't a good situation for us to be in.

It is sad there are so many millions living like that. Violence and poverty with crime thrown in for free.

I pray that America is on the verge of a hopefully tremendous recovery.

I pray that the newly elected President can SOLVE not just try to FIX some of our many problems and concerns.

I pray that my husband stays with me for the rest of my days... I really REALLY got lucky when he chose me to marry.

After 20 years...we can still go out for 4 hours and have fun, partying, tension, drama, danger and suspense...topped off with a happy ending!!!


I live a very blessed life... as my wonderful husband (who is obviously the most patient man on earth if he is married to me) pointed out tonight, as we finally pulled into the driveway of our house he said "This house has never looked better".


ANYHOO... back at you soon


Thursday, January 8, 2009

Gotta Love That Sister!!

My sister is feeling better...Thank you JESUS!!

So I decided to let her continue her charity work at my house today!!

I am just THAT kinda gal!

She came over and painted my bedroom. I vacuumed up about ten pounds of dust and dirt, while she artfully painted my master bedroom...including the "Trey" ceiling. (hope I spelled that one right...but you know what I mean).

We laughed all day, sometimes to the point of tears...I love this woman more than I can describe or put into any kind of sentence.

My bedroom is the only room in my house that has never been painted (I always avoid it on a tour of the house).

Now it is my centerpiece, and I will blindfold people until they get upstairs to see it first!!

I never have more fun than when I am with my sister.

I never get more done than when I am with my sister.

I never feel closer to a person than when I am with my sister.

I have lost both my parents...but they left me in the most wonderful hands that they ever could have...the hands and heart of my sister.

My back is aching, my shoulders are killing me...and my heart is singing!

To spend one entire day with this woman, this splendid human being who I am lucky enough to call my almost worth me letting her give me a $500 paint job for free!

HEY!!! I am JUST that nice of a little sis.

She'll probably want her vacuum cleaner back now too (NOT GONNA HAPPEN).

What a good life I have, what a great brother and sister I have.

I almost feel like posting a picture of my bedroom on my blog for you to see. If I can figure out how to do it, I will!

At least I gave her a couple of massages that she seemed to enjoy (judging from the sounds she was making).

I hope every person has a best friend like I do.

Going to take a scalding bath now...and return to the ole workplace in the morning.

I can't wait to wake up in the fresh morning sun and see my new bedroom gleaming at me and reminding me once again how lucky I am to have such a wonderful sister with such a tremendous and giving heart.

Keep looking for my pics...I have a friend coming to town tomorrow that is a computer whiz and is going to put a search engine on my blog and show me how to upload pictures...If you think I am amusing now...wait til I actually SHOW you some of my life!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Shack...

It is almost two in the morning.

I just finished "The Shack".

It was the most intense, meaningful book that I have read in years.

If you read my ramblings or want to find the purpose for your life on earth, I want you to borrow or pick up a copy of this book.

It was hard to get past the first part, but it makes the second part a reason for "BEING".

Some may find it offensive ...but as you keep on reading, it is only our narrow mindedness that makes this so.

This is a book that brings it all into our own life and our own heart.

We all seek God... But who is to really say who or what God is?

He is the ALMIGHTY... and to read this book, although it is only a book, brought HIM to a new definition and a new and clearer meaning in my mind and soul.

Pass this book on to friends and enemies...IT WILL MAKE A least it did with me.

"THE SHACK" by William P. Young.

I almost feel like this could be a new road to Heaven for many, many people.

I usually read a book in a day, but this book made me pause at many points, ponder at even more and although it took two weeks to read, it has made a difference in the way I see not only my life, but the grand scheme of things, and how I was made to "Make a Difference".

Til Tomorrow...COTTON

I Don't Need Help Looking Stupid

Sooo...Anyway, I am am work again, waiting on people for a living.

Sometimes the public totally amazes me.

Granted I work in the "City of Snobs".

I go up to my first table of the day...four business people, two of which are currently on their cell phone.

I introduce myself to an uninterested group (I always thought I was MUCH more fascinating).

I gave my little spiel...offering special drinks and asking if they " had eaten with us before"??

I was cut off short.

They ordered their drinks with one of the more wimpy men saying "and I would really like to have a whole dish of lemons with my water".

I returned to the table with their order and began my sales pitch.

"How about starting out with some boneless buffalo wings or some shrimp and lobster dip"??

The wimpy one immediately said "What I would REALLY like is a dish of lemons"!!

I tried to reign my smart mouth in and replied "Will that dish in front of you be okay, or do you need more"??

The woman with them tried to cover for the doofus by saying..."What we really need are four straws".

To which I handily responded "They are right to the left of the dish of lemons".

I sucked it up, took their order, and returned with their lunch in a prompt fashion.

I returned to the table after one minute to see that everything was to their satisfaction and was cooked and tasted great.

My wimpy guy (my favorite by now) was once again on his cell phone and waved his finger over and over again over his baked potato in a fashion that made me think he was trying to cast a spell on it.

The woman with them translated "He needs more toppings for his potato".

I almost said "OHH...I though maybe he wanted me to mix his potato up with my index finger". I held back, smiled and went to get him some more toppings for his spud.

I realize that I am just a waitress.

I realize that I am so far down the pole to them that I make their secretaries look like a big shot.

But I did EVERYTHING that they wanted..the FIRST time they asked for it.

Did they just want to repeat it to remind me that I was an insignificant person to them?

I do my job well...not to brag, but I am GOOD at my job.

It reminds me of the time we had a shrimp promotion and I was waiting on a pompous ole fart out with his wife trying to act like a bigshot. We had two different shrimp specials and I was trying to sell the ole wind bag on one of them.

He looked over at me and said "I can't decide between the two, so why don't you just surprise me"??

To which I quickly replied..."Okay...I am pregnant with your baby".

His wife snorted her margarita out of her nose, and to my relief...he fell out laughing . It turned the whole dinner around, and we ended up having a great hour together with them enjoying my PHD in BS.

You have to know who to kid around with and who to just put quietly in their place.

I take the good with the bad. The good tips are great, the bad tips will happen as well. It is just the average that I am worried about.

In this economy, I am just grateful that people are still going out to eat.

I try to do my best at EVERY table. It is a psychological game to me. I am there to sell, sell , sell.

I want them to buy, buy , buy.

If I do a great job; I make their meal a treat...a flawless dinner that they enjoy so much that they forget they have just wasted more money on one meal... that could have been spent on groceries for four meals.

It is my job in "Sales and Marketing", to make sure that every customer, whether I like them or not...has an exceptional experience at my table.

That is how after over thirty years in this business...I have regulars that come in and not only request me as a server, but will sit in the lobby and wait for forty minutes to sit in my section.

I may only be a waitress (server is the politically correct term these days).

I am proud of the job that I do, it has provided me with an excellent income for the hours that I work...and given me a lot of time to work on my comedy routine!!


Til next time "ROSEANNE COTTON"!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009


Another grueling day of waiting on the home and called my sister, like I always do.

She sounded WEAK at best.

She had felt like she was getting sick during church. She just felt a tightness in her chest and anxious. (I live that feeling every day).

We often laugh about our ailments (I have one thumb that is completely numb..I know that it is carpel tunnel..but I have another thumb that feels fine, so why worry)?

My sister felt unwell enough to be taken to the fire station to have her blood pressure taken, and it was extremely high.

To me, in my small world..I know what it is...she does SO much for others, always on a charity basis, always forgetting her own well being...not drinking enough water and not taking care of herself.

This happened during church about 11:30, when I spoke to her at 10:00 PM she sounded weak as water.

The trip to the hospital showed all tests OK, but the high blood pressure not only worries her, but terrifies me.

My sister is my fail safe.

My sister is my best friend, my mentor and my guiding beam of light in my entire existence.

I know that she means the exact thing to SO many people that are not even related to her, but have been blessed with the presence of her in their life.
I KNOW that it is just her OVER EXTENDING herself, doing more than she should.

Hopefully and prayerfully , I know all will be OK with "My Girl".

She will kill me when she comes upon this post...

But before she gathers her anger up, I hope she stops... takes a deep breath and a long drink of water.

This woman, this sister, this friend; Means more to me than anything in this life .

I love my husband and kids first, but she runs a pretty close second.

She goes more than ANY person I know, and makes me look like a slug in comparison.

I am sure that it is all just stress, just a message for her to slow down.

She is totally loved by so many people, family and organizations that I know prayers are being sent up as I type.

Just don't give me this scare...don't make me have to EVEN imagine what would happen to me if I didn't have my sister in my life.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Take a break from all of your exhausting and continuous good deeds, and take a little time for yourself.

I need YOU... more than I can ever let you know.

By the way, I will be over tomorrow to give you the greatest massage of you life.

I LOVE YOU CINDY... I wouldn't be where I am today unless I had you by my side for 48 years.

See you in the morning (with bran muffins and decaffeinated coffee).