You're My Only Outlet Now

Too much drama and totally childish mud slinging on my classmates site for me.

I do not mean from everyone. I mean from ONLY one.

I tried to back out gracefully and even THAT didn't work.

It was alright when she was just bashing me...but when she started in on my sister, she started to really piss me off!

We tried several attempts of offering the 'Olive Branch' only to have it slapped back at us like a whip.

I decided to just let her have the site, and return to my Peeps that love me!

I am thinking about creating a high school FACEBOOK page, and maybe we can all reminisce there without constant friction and ridicule.

What I think amazes me most is the bitter and caustic attitude that this poor girl still harbors after over 31 years.

So what I was the first chair on French Horn? Does it matter to her THAT much after over three decades that she never challenged me for the chair...and if it does, who's fault is that...mine or hers?

At the very least she has given me material for my blog and a good read for people that haven't read a tabloid lately. National Enquirer ain't got 'squat' on this girl!

I think that in some way, high school was a difficult period in every one's life. I know it was in mine (and I didn't even know at the time I was obviously ruining someone else's).

But it is over three decades down the path of life...BY GONES BE BY GONES!!

After she posted her last manifesto to my sister, she tried to start up a new chat acting all happy and upbeat.

NOT ONE RESPONSE from anyone.

I truly do feel sorry for her, but I have tried time and time again to apologize or re connect in a positive way and have been cyber stalked at every turn.

Life is NOT a bowl of cherries...but spitting the pits at people isn't the greatest option either.

Til next time...COTTON

HELP ME JESUS!!!

I decided to back out of classmates, because of my "cyber" stalker.

She had turned the website so negative and so ranting that no one even enjoyed it anymore.

I posted that I was leaving and told classmates and new friends I had met, I would check in on them, but would remain silent.

TWO minutes after posting, I received another rant...titled "BOO HOO".

What kind of vindictive, waiting assailant is bent on the edge of their chair...wanting to type yet another sarcastic attack?

At least I am out of the chat room, out of her spiteful touch and out of the biggest online drama I have ever known!

I am going to my sister's tomorrow to print off a copy of the entire "SitCom" because my printer isn't working yet. (maybe she has hacked into my entire internet system).

It is on the edge of unbelievable and outrageous.

This has been a big lesson for me..and will be a bigger lesson for her.

What you put out on the internet is out there FOREVER. I can go back and print off all of these attacks, tirades and rants.

How can a fifty year old woman be so freakin bent on destroying me?

I had a former classmate call me at work tonight, telling me that she was worried for my safety (yes, it is THAT vicious).

I believe this person is nothing more than someone who obviously has a lot more free time than me and a chip on her shoulder the size of Stone Mountain.

We are probably the most "watched" site on classmates, if for nothing more than entertainment.

I am moving on, leaving her, and her "redunkilus" (as my thirteen year old daughter says) posts in the wayside.

If I don't post tomorrow...maybe I was wrong.

If I don't come in from pushing out the trash...someone come looking for me.

I will have to say she has me looking over my shoulder, but looking at my past too.

Could I POSSIBLY have been that mean to her thirty one years ago that it still is THAT big of a deal to her?

I don't remember being an alter boy, but I know that I wasn't the demon she projects.

PRAY FOR MY SAFETY!!

Just kidding...(I HOPE)

The Good, The Bad...and The Lazy

Last night my house was filled as usual with not only my three kids, but the neighbor's kids as well. I was going up the steps in the living room with an armload of clothes that were clean and folded. I remarked to my soon to be sixteen year old son that I wanted all of the clothes that I held to be properly put in drawers or hung in the closet. I remarked that I felt sometimes they just let them sit around so long that they eventually got shoved back into the hamper before they had even been worn...much less put up at all. Sometimes I find them back in the dirty clothes again...STILL FOLDED!!

My next door neighbor's son made the remark...let me see if I can remember it correctly.

"DUDE !! Are you too lazy to unfold them before you throw them in the basket? THAT is a dead give away"!!

I don't know what bothered me more...the fact that they are recycling clean clothes just so they don't have to put them up...or the fact that my neighbor's kid thought that my son was so dense that he didn't know that you UNFOLD the clothes before you throw them back into the laundry pile.

SURELY.....maybe I mean HOPEFULLY, my kids aren't the only ones doing this (besides my neighbor's son).

What in the world are kids thinking , when they work harder at a plan to not put up clean clothes...than just taking the small effort to do the job at hand?


AND MY KIDS WONDER WHY THEY DON'T GET AN ALLOWANCE!!

Instead of an allowance...I have thought about charging them when they are lazy. Charging them when they don't load the dishwasher. But of course they would have to borrow the money to pay me with from their father.

My solution has been this. If you want clean clothes...take them to the laundry room and do them yourself.

I am on strike in the laundry department (even as I type this post...the dryer is humming behind me with my 22 year old son's clothes that he did himself , spinning to my satisfaction).

For the most part, my kids are GOOD, some of the time they can be BAD...and a LOT of the time they can be LAZY.

Unfortunately...I seem to be stuck with them, and have had to make some MAJOR changes in regard to my title of "She'll Do Everything if We Let Her."

Things seem to be looking up, the kids are responding fairly well. I guess that running out of "undies" has it's good points when you are a mother of three.

When pushed...it is AMAZING what the Good, the Bad and the Lazy can accomplish.

Of course they are probably having secret meetings behind my back to come up with another plan of action....lucky for me; they are too lazy to come up with an idea that could fool me. You know what they say..."FOOL ME ONCE..."

Till next time ...COTTON

When Will Kids Stop Being Kids?

I was talking to my sister tonight, as we commiserated about our similar situations. I am forty eight, she is "fifty" something. I have raised and sent one son off...only to have him fly back into the nest at the age of 22...bringing back with him a dog that I now take care of and feed.

My sister has a 26 year old still living with her, having flown out of the nest, back into the nest, out once more and now home to roost!

Neither pay us rent, nor contribute to the household chores or care what their room looks like or what dishes or laundry is scattered within our eyesight.

Not speaking for my sister, but I have become hardened to the point that I have to MAKE myself be nice to my son...a "MAN" that I do indeed love dearly...but constantly am in awe at his lack of gratitude or sense of duty.

Wasn't it him that said "I AM OUTTA HERE" with a defiance that I thought would never find him creeping back to his own bedroom ? He doesn't help us with the bills, but manages to find the one item in the refrigerator that I truly want...and scarf it down (leaving the empty plate in the floor of his room).

He has his good points...he is pleasant to look at, very handsome and witty. He isn't into drugs or an alcoholic. His main bad vice is driving me and my husband insane (which he is extremely talented at).

He lives in his "cave"..his room which is so handily supplied with a wireless laptop (that we bought him ) cable TV, and quick access to the kitchen and a bathroom..(he is on the bottom floor of the house, with all of the other bedrooms on the third floor).

It can be 1:30 in the afternoon, and my daughter and her friends will be chatting (albeit) loudly...and he will crack the door to his cave and tell them to "SHUT UP"!!

Luckily my sister's son sleeps till about 4 or 5...and has no pesky sisters to bother him.

My point being..."WHAT IN THE HELL ARE THESE KIDS DOING TO US"?

I would have never done to my parents the kind of abuse that my kids are doing to me . Of course I grew up with "BUTT WHIPPINGS" so severe that they made a lasting and profound impression . But today, it is called child abuse...it ought to be called child REARING!!

My middle son is not much better. He is so smart that I find it hard to believe he is mine! But he refuses to put any of his talent into his school work, and with very little effort has "PUTZ" his way into the ninth grade. He can talk to you about anything...and is almost always right... but ask him to pass algebra and you would think that I asked him to go out back and dig an eight foot hole with a garden spade.
I know that I have spoiled my kids, and that is part of their problem...but how could I have created such monsters with no sense of remorse or sense of accountability?

Let's blame it on modern technology. Let's blame it on cell phones, myspace, texting, Blockbuster, video games, internet...ANY thing but ME!!

But regrettably, it all comes down to me. I am their mother, and I am the one that raised them. My only saving salvation is that one day they will have children of their own...(NOT living in my house) and will say to themselves....while their kids are scooting across the sky in a "JETSON'S" type car......"WHAT did I do to deserve this"?

If I had it to do over again, there would be a LOT more "butt" whippings, and a LOT less "BUT MOM"!!

I can only hope that as time passes, they will eventually realize that I really DID know what I was talking about when they weren't listening...and will be glad to repeat it, or once again show them the way.

I love my kids (to a fault) and only want the best for them... But don't kill me while you are finding out I was right all along.

Almost Half A Century Down The Road Of Life

Even the title of this blog terrifies me. It just can't be right! Am I really 48 years old? Where in the heck did the last almost fifty years go? Am I in a time warp? Did someone change the way we measure time? All these questions seem valid to me, and yet no one can give me the answer that I want and need to hear... "NO, you are MOST certainly not 48 years old.... somebody has been using the wrong calendar, and we are SOOO glad that you caught the mistake!" Granted, I weigh the exact same weight as I did in high school ( Thank the Lord frown lines and wrinkles don't weigh much). I guess the fact that I have been a server for 30 years should tip me off to the fact that I am speeding down life's highway like I was on the Autobahn in a high powered Mercedes. Well, somebody please point me to the nearest exit.... I WANT TO GET OFF!!! I really don't feel my age too often. I think working with twenty year olds six days a week, makes me feel like "one of the gang." They probably all laugh at me behind my back, and have some disgusting nickname for me like "ME-ME", or "MEE-MAW", and only use it when I have my day off! Granted I have some ailments that I constantly self-diagnose on the phone with my MUCH older sister at night; when we drink wine, chat on the phone, and I remind her of all the things she keeps forgetting ! Just kidding about that, she is an amazing 54 years young... looks better than me... she just can't remember squat sometimes.... that is why we always sit together at funerals.. so I can warn her who is walking up to speak to us, or remind her who just died.... Just kidding again... I love her dearly, and she is all the Mama I have left on this Earth. We will be talking at night, and I will mention "Ya know, my right thumb has been numb for about a year...what do you think it means?" To which she will reply, "Thank God you have that left thumb that is still fine...don't worry till they both go bad." I will say " You are EXACTLY right!" I have since diagnosed this as carpel tunnel from some of my more informed customers at work... they all had the same symptoms, so I have decided that is what my thumb problem is.. WHEW.. that was a relief, and I didn't even have to pay a Co-payment! My sister and I have pains in our neck and shoulders sometimes... another ailment we attribute to having kids that drive us crazy, and nothing to worry about! Two problems solved, about forty more to go! When you are a woman and a mother... especially a working mother, you just tend to forget about taking care of yourself, and just worry about getting through the work week, school year with the kids, or Holidays with the crazy relatives. Actually, I don't know how I have made it this far. I didn't go the the gynecologist for over ten years, till my sister threatened to take me herself. I made an appointment with a female Doc that I had heard was good, and marched my little 105 lb. frame right into her office like I had been going to her all my life. I was trying not to act nervous or scared... wondering what in the heck I had probably been self- diagnosing for ten years that had already eaten up half my brain or abdomen. The nurse came in, took vitals and blood work, told me to undress and wait for the doctor. I followed instructions, and awaited the "Doctor of Death" to come in and tell me that I was dying or had six weeks to live. She came in, a cheerful woman ( I figured that was her guise...fake me out). I had on my fancy little paper gown... scooted up to the edge of the table, and prepared myself for the worst. The nurse was beside the doctor, ready to assist. The doctor lifted my cute little paper number... stopped, looked up at me, and said " Mrs. Cotton, you still have your underwear on." I had totally forgotten to take them off, so I cracked my best quip... "well, it's been so long since I have been to a doctor, I thought by now you'd have some fancy dancy exray goggles you might wear, or some sterilized tongs that you could use just to move my panties to the side for a peek!" The nurse beside the doctor had to leave the exam room, laughing so hard that I could hear her in the hall . Fortunately everything was fine... except my total humiliation at having to walk out of that room knowing that every person in that office had probably already heard about my little "faux pas ". Needless to say, I am looking for a new doctor.... Hey! I have ten more years to look for one! Actually, I sucked it up and continued to go to this doctor, and needless to add... they remember me when I walk in the door. Even though the fifty year mark is speeding towards me like a tomahawk missile, I feel pretty blessed to still be as healthy as I am, in total control of all my faculties, and somehow making it to work six days a week, loving and enjoying my kids, and having the greatest husband a nutty person like me could ever hope for. Believe me you.. when fifty REALLY gets here... it is gonna be a party to remember... at least I hope I can. Till next time, COTTON

My "OCD" " BFF"

One of the girls that I work with, a server with our restaurant since it opened.. is one of the most amazing, determined and goal oriented people that I have ever met. YES, she has a touch of the OCD... maybe more than a touch, but we'll let her slide on that one... for now ! She is two years older than me, which means we are both "OLE FARTS". Recently she has gone back to school. At first she was going for ex-ray technology... which turned out to be two years of core studies before she could start on th "X" ray part. My manager joked to her that by the time she received her degree, X-rays would be obsolete. Her new goal is to be an Esthetician... facials, skin abrasion treatments, and a lot of stuff that rich women want and can afford. (sounds like a perfect job for the town we work in ) She has been at our store since before Jesus was born... well maybe not that long, but it seems that way. The old women love her, the freaks, odd balls and cranky old men will wait for her to have a table open. Her regulars (the freaks) come in asking for her. I have told more than one that she is enrolled in school again, and only works Sundays now. Some of them ask what she is going to school for... and I wittily reply... "she decided to get that GED she always wanted." All the ole women say to me (very emphatically)...GOOD FOR HER !! I don't think any of them have a clue as to the humor that I am trying to use. They all just think that their favorite server is really going out on a limb, climbing the ladder... and reaching out to grab that golden egg... although I make it seem like she is reaching out the window of the "Short Bus" ... and all of us that went to public schools know what a "short" bus means. But so far, all of the regulars of hers that I have waited on, are so immensely proud of "Their Girl" ... that I feel like I just need to leave them to their illusions of grandeur about their favorite waitress. I guess I will have to throw her a graduation party with all her regulars piling up their walkers in a corner, and waiting to pat their girl on the head... telling her how proud they are of her achievement, and how proud they are of her finally receiving her GED... obviously a PHD in their minds. But you know what? She makes these wacky, weird, hard to wait on people happy... and is probably the best friend that any of them have left in this world. They come to our restaurant to see her; and ONLY her. They are loyal(although nutty loyals) that come in to see, visit and just relax with their favorite waitress, and in some instances, she is the only person in the world that they have to listen to them, understand and care about their gripes, concerns and complaints. To me, she is not only a friend... she is a saving salvation to these "odd" ducks... and probably the reason that they get out of bed each day, shuffle their way to our store.... just to see my "OCD" "BFF" , a woman that could probably run the Happiest Nursing Home in the world. I know that if I was 80, I would want to live in HER nursing home. She is one in a million ... and as always... I feel it a tremendous privilege to not only know her, but to call her my friend ( even if she IS short Bus material). God will surely Bless you Terri.. as you have not only blessed me, but many others as well. I love ya,....COTTON