When Will Kids Stop Being Kids?

I was talking to my sister tonight, as we commiserated about our similar situations. I am forty eight, she is "fifty" something. I have raised and sent one son off...only to have him fly back into the nest at the age of 22...bringing back with him a dog that I now take care of and feed.

My sister has a 26 year old still living with her, having flown out of the nest, back into the nest, out once more and now home to roost!

Neither pay us rent, nor contribute to the household chores or care what their room looks like or what dishes or laundry is scattered within our eyesight.

Not speaking for my sister, but I have become hardened to the point that I have to MAKE myself be nice to my son...a "MAN" that I do indeed love dearly...but constantly am in awe at his lack of gratitude or sense of duty.

Wasn't it him that said "I AM OUTTA HERE" with a defiance that I thought would never find him creeping back to his own bedroom ? He doesn't help us with the bills, but manages to find the one item in the refrigerator that I truly want...and scarf it down (leaving the empty plate in the floor of his room).

He has his good points...he is pleasant to look at, very handsome and witty. He isn't into drugs or an alcoholic. His main bad vice is driving me and my husband insane (which he is extremely talented at).

He lives in his "cave"..his room which is so handily supplied with a wireless laptop (that we bought him ) cable TV, and quick access to the kitchen and a bathroom..(he is on the bottom floor of the house, with all of the other bedrooms on the third floor).

It can be 1:30 in the afternoon, and my daughter and her friends will be chatting (albeit) loudly...and he will crack the door to his cave and tell them to "SHUT UP"!!

Luckily my sister's son sleeps till about 4 or 5...and has no pesky sisters to bother him.

My point being..."WHAT IN THE HELL ARE THESE KIDS DOING TO US"?

I would have never done to my parents the kind of abuse that my kids are doing to me . Of course I grew up with "BUTT WHIPPINGS" so severe that they made a lasting and profound impression . But today, it is called child abuse...it ought to be called child REARING!!

My middle son is not much better. He is so smart that I find it hard to believe he is mine! But he refuses to put any of his talent into his school work, and with very little effort has "PUTZ" his way into the ninth grade. He can talk to you about anything...and is almost always right... but ask him to pass algebra and you would think that I asked him to go out back and dig an eight foot hole with a garden spade.
I know that I have spoiled my kids, and that is part of their problem...but how could I have created such monsters with no sense of remorse or sense of accountability?

Let's blame it on modern technology. Let's blame it on cell phones, myspace, texting, Blockbuster, video games, internet...ANY thing but ME!!

But regrettably, it all comes down to me. I am their mother, and I am the one that raised them. My only saving salvation is that one day they will have children of their own...(NOT living in my house) and will say to themselves....while their kids are scooting across the sky in a "JETSON'S" type car......"WHAT did I do to deserve this"?

If I had it to do over again, there would be a LOT more "butt" whippings, and a LOT less "BUT MOM"!!

I can only hope that as time passes, they will eventually realize that I really DID know what I was talking about when they weren't listening...and will be glad to repeat it, or once again show them the way.

I love my kids (to a fault) and only want the best for them... But don't kill me while you are finding out I was right all along.