OUCH

Going on almost a month since my last day off but still feeling pretty good for an old woman. I had to be at the airport by one thirty today but had everything ironed, ready and packed up so slept in an extra twenty minutes.

I won't do THAT again!

Left with just an hour and thirty minutes before my shift started. The MARTA lot was packed but lately have been really lucky snagging a spot close to the entrance.

Not today.

Finally I saw a guy come out of the station and head to the parking lot. I caught up with him walking down an aisle and asked if he was leaving? He said yes but was way at the end of the lot.

Down to one hour before clock in. Beggars can't be choosers so asked if he wanted a ride to his car? The sun was blazing hot and I was sweating just sitting behind the wheel of my next door husband's little truck. He was a pretty big dude and didn't hesitate to take me up on my offer.

Unfortunately he was correct about being "Way at the end" but at least knew I had a spot waiting. He got out of the truck, thanked me for the lift and got into his car.

Down to forty five minutes I halfway jogged (uphill of course) and ran down the steps to the train, barely making it between the doors of the train as they closed. Five minutes later I got out and hoofed it quickly outside to the shuttle bus, out of breath AND under thirty minutes to spare.

My luck changed for the better (a feeling I'm definitely not used to) when the shuttle took off for the international terminal five minutes later. Sometimes they wait to fill the bus and sometimes if  travelers outnumber employees they ask you to step off and wait for the next shuttle.

The shuttle bus pulled up to the international terminal about twelve minutes later and mentally patted myself on the back for making such good time.

I was on my cell while on the shuttle, bragging on Facebook about what great time I was making, which meant I had my glasses on. I was all worried about how long the line may be at security and stood up to get off the shuttle bus quickly.

Here's the thing. I can't read squat without my peepers on but can't see to walk WITH them on.

I forgot to push them up onto the top of my head when I stepped down off the bus and couldn't tell how far down the step off was to the curb.

I learned very quickly was WAY off on my judgement of the step down and fell flat onto the palms of both hands and knees on the concrete. The humiliation made me jump up quickly and at least ONE dude asked if I was okay.

I shook my head up and down to let him know I was okay when immediately remembered I was wearing the brand new jeans I'd just bought at WalMart. (since all my other jeans were five years old and sagged like a bag on my now emaciated looking ninety eight pound frame)

I could feel one of my knees bleeding but Thank The Lord the new jeans were okay. I spent thirteen dollars on those jeans!!

I shoved my glasses back onto the top of my head, limped through the doors and headed for security.

Made it through and walked into the atrium with enough time to spare to sit in a chair for four minutes to let my sweat evaporate in the nice cool air conditioned terminal.  I wiped the knees of my brand new jeans off with spit on my fingers, both had marks on them from where I fell on the concrete.

You know, I don't have to make stuff up! My life is a comedy of errors.

Unfortunately USA was playing in the World Cup this afternoon and killed business. Slowest I've ever seen it since starting there but still walked out a hundred dollars richer.

I have to be at the restaurant by eight thirty tomorrow morning and not sleeping one minute past the time that alarm goes off.

On the upside will get off around five or six PM and to me, will be like a day off.

Til next time...COTTON

Ole Folks...Ya Gotta Love'em !!

I went to my sister's house today for lunch. YUM YUM...gettum some! The lunch was great and she even offered to give me a Lenten rose to take home and plant.

She dug it up out of her side yard and told me to go home and replant and surround it with pine straw.

Went to the grocery store first and once home, brought in my groceries first.

My neighbor across the drive is an elderly retired gentleman who lives with his wife...and seems to watch our every move in and out of the house, while leaning across the back of the bed of his truck smoking a seemingly endless cigarette and staring at our house...waiting for movement. (I will have to admit, we do a LOT of moving and shaking over here in our "CASA").

So anyway...I finally got the Lenten rose plant out of the back of my car and sat it on the ground next to the car.

My "OLE" always watching neighbor...spat out.."I hope you are taking that plant inside tonight".

I said that actually I was fixing (a BIG southern word) to dig a hole and plant it right into my front yard.

He came right back at me like a swift volley...

"You know it's gonna be 17 degrees tonight".
I told him that the plant had just come straight out of my sister's yard and it seemed to be doing okay.

With a doubtful shrug of his shoulders, he shook his head like "Okay, idiot...go ahead and plant it".

When I got home from my sister's house I called to tell her my little story...and as usual, she had one ready to beat it!

After I left, her door bell rang.

She answered it, into the face of a happy and pleasant older woman who seemed flustered.

She told my sister that she was just SO SO lost and could my sister possibly help her.

My sister told her that she had only recently moved into Senoia, and hoped that she could help her.

They went into the house, the woman was looking for Lawshe road.

My sister couldn't find it in the phone book map and told the woman she could google the street.

They struck up a conversation and the older woman told my sister that in fact she too had just moved to the south side of Atlanta and really liked it.

My sister found the directions for this woman on line and went to send her on her way, my sister said, "Well you know where I live now...so come visit anytime"

The woman said to come visit her as well.

My sister responded...WHERE?...where do you live?

The older woman said "Right off of Lawshe Rd".

We thought she needed directions to a new friend's house...She needed directions HOME!!!

At least she stopped and asked, and at least she knocked on a really nice person's door.

This will be me in such a few short years. Thank goodness I have three children.

One of them will get the short straw...but the one that gets the short straw will take care of me, and be in charge the rotation of my care between siblings.

I hope they all remember what a good and "suck up" mom I am now.

If it makes my kids feel ANY better...


I WILL have a "DNR".

Til next time...COTTON

You ordered chopped steak...but what am I ? Chopped Liver?

I ran a plate of food to a table the other night at work. It went to a pretty young guy...sitting by himself. I sat the chop steak down and he began to explode.

"I ORDERED this WITHOUT onions, I told her I didn't want onion!!". I replied calmly that I would take it back and that it would be no problem to bring him the correct steak.

The young waitress that had taken his order told me that the man wanted to see me, and I told her to tell him I wasn't there. She replied that he could see that I was still there...I guess my two inch spiked hair and Melanoma inducing dark tan gave me away.

After her saying that he was still asking to see me, she said that she thought he wanted to apologize .

I approached the table hesitantly, and told him that I was almost scared to come back to his table.

He said that as soon as I had walked off from his table he had felt terrible about the way he had spoken to and treated me.

I gently patted him on the shoulder and said "Don't worry about it...as soon as I turned to walk away, I called you an ass hole in my head".

Let me inject here that I KNOW what customers I can joke with, and this young guy actually found me quite humorous.

He said "Did you really"? I said "no", and then said "Yeah, I really did." But I told him that I had been a server for thirty years, and he would be pressed to a point to insult me...I had heard it all by this stage in my career. I told him that it was our fault his order was wrong and that I was sorry he had been served the wrong food.

He ended up leaving the server a ten dollar tip on a fifteen dollar meal.

Sometimes you just have to stand up and say "What am I?...Chopped Liver"?

For Pete's sake...it's a piece of meat!! It is not like that was the last piece of Chopped Steak left on the planet.

We made him happy in the end, and I made him laugh at not only himself, but at me as well.

Granted you can't treat every person this way, but I pick and choose carefully who I joke with...and he took it exceptionally well.

I believe it was one of my finer moments as a server....don't you?

Till next time COTTON

Another Bullet Dodged

Made another trip up to Piedmont Hospital today. My daughter went with me...She said they have "GREAT" food in the cafeteria, and she wanted some of it.

One of my favorite customers at work, as well as a good friend...had a procedure done to see if he needed to have stints put in his heart .

We all commandeered the waiting room. His wife was there, along with his parents and siblings, his son and a few close friends. We all chatted and joked (mostly me joking...but HEY that seems to be my Forte).

A group huddled together hoping for the best outcome to what could possibly be bad news all around.

We pretty much filled the waiting room up ourselves. A few people that dared join us, were subjected to our running the place...having taken over the room as our own.

After a nail biting hour and a half, we were greeted with the news that all was well.

Another bullet dodged...another happy outcome...another reason to thank God.

These were wonderful people that I was surrounded by and I could not be happier for them to have received good news about their loved one.

I ran into one of the nurses that took care of my brother in law when he had his open heart surgery and she was sweet to ask about how he was doing since his big "CRACK IT OPEN".

My daughter got her "fix" from the hospital cafeteria, and my friends got the "fix" that they had all been hoping for...another bullet dodged.

I wish nothing but happiness and well being for my friends...and they truly deserve it.

It was a day well spent. Everyone that has this kind of trauma in their lives need to be surrounded and supported by the ones that love and care about them.

That feeling was definitely alive in that waiting room...he was supported to the "Max " and that support system carried his wife through a couple of truly frightening hours.

Now I can feel free to pick on him again when he comes into my restaurant...maybe even tell him about the "Coronary" specials of the day...and tell him that with every double cheeseburger you can get free defibrillator for only a $300,000 up charge.

Another bullet dodged...another happy ending for some friends that can certainly use a break.

I am glad that it all turned out well for them, and that it turned out well for me...I got to do another amusing post instead of another tragic story of life.

Till next time COTTON