I'm Missing That Techno Gene For Sure

As hip as I think I am (but probably not) for an almost sixty year old woman, for the life of me can't get all this new age techno crap down.

Click here, scroll down, open new window, view in new tab, Snap chat now, hit save, hide options, view best route, start directions now, place call on hold and accept new caller, allow access, deny access, use current location.

It's all the same to me and I'm clueless.

My biggest problem is that none of it really matters to me.

I should have just bought a Jitter Bug.

All I need to do is know how to make a phone call, read my messages, email and take a picture.

My biggest gripe is when I ask one of my (techno savvy) kids to help me with something. They always say, "hand your phone to me" and hand it back with the problem solved or say "move over and let me sit down" and get me to where I needed to be on my computer.

What's that teach me?

Nothing, other than to rely on them.

Of course they try to help but I get irritated and send them away with an always sarcastic "Thanks!"

When I broke down and bought all my kid's cell phones; one in high school and two in middle school they ripped them out of the box, threw away the instructions but immediately knew what and how to do with them.

It kinda ticks me off if you want me to be honest.

Are they all using some secret website they aren't telling me about?

"Settings" really get on my nerves.

Is Blue tooth on? Is Sync on? Use your current location? Storage almost full, control from settings.

Bitch, please.

It's just too much information for me to comprehend without a six week course and seems unnecessary but have to know if you want to use apps, maps and fancier social media than Facebook.

I'm just fine with FB, have it down to a science. My blog... same thing. Try and get me to Snapchat or Instagram or swap faces, am lost and kinda okay with that too.

I  do know how to write letter with an ink pen, put it in an envelope...slap a stamp on it and put it in a mail box. I know how to call someone and actually speak with them.

I do know how to email although attachments throw me off.

Compress, put into a zip folder, modify to make smaller.

Are you kidding me?

Apparently not.

I guess I need to buy the book "New Techno For Dummies" and pretty sure there is one out there.

I'll probably need help finding the book.

My saving salvation is that I had an excellent hair day. Seems to make my wrinkles less noticable. (don't tell me if I'm wrong)

Here's my version of life.

Take the good with the bad. Roll with the punches while throwing out a few of your own.

Make someone smile today.

Always plan on having a better tomorrow and be grateful if you have one.

Til next time...COTTON