Friday, November 25, 2016

Conflicted And Striving To Be Content

So spent a whirlwind twenty four hour Thanksgiving back in Georgia at my sister's house. My brother picked me up here in Orlando at 6:30 AM on Thanksgiving morning and drove a least ninety the entire way, not stopping until we got off at our exit in Griffin. Fueled up and headed across Hwy 16 to Newnan.We got there before noon. I feel like we took a rocket. We got there so early stopped by where our parent's are buried right off Hwy 16.

It's the oldest Christian Church in Georgia.

We only spent about ten or fifteen minutes walking around but found one headstone of someone born in 1799. That's pretty cool.

We headed on to my sister's and spent the day there. It was a small group. Us three sibs, my bro in law, Cin's two sons and their step brother (Harvey's son) along with his girlfriend in from LA. Zach came after he got off work around seven. The food, all cooked by my sister was fantastic and had a nice time all watching football and chatting.

It was awesome to be around my sister again for the first time since September and wonderful to spend a few hours with my Lost Boy, Zach.

He and I sat out on the front porch alone together for a few minutes. We talked about things and how each of us were doing. I think we're both conflicted but  both too stubborn to admit it. I ended our talk with "You'll always have a home with us if you ever need it and want you to know I never knew I'd miss you this much."

My brother and I slept overnight at my old house now my nephew's new house. They have really done a nice job painting and making it look even better.

I will say when my brother turned his car into the the driveway of my former home of  over twenty years, tears welled in my eyes. I raised three kids in that house. I have so many great memories there and even a couple of bad ones but will always seem like home to me.

It's hard stepping out of your comfort zone and blindly into the unknown.

Immediate thoughts and questions are did you make the right decision? Will you ever be as happy again?  Will you ever have that content feeling again?

I've certainly felt awkward and  very uncomfortable but every person needs to grow and maybe this something new is what I've been destined to do and attain.

I haven't been the best and far from it but have and will always be there for my kids. They may not need me now but whenever they do  I will be there.

Just call me.

Lean on  me any time, just as long as I can lean on you as well.

You get what you give.

Til next time...Cotton.

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