Thursday, November 10, 2016

I Miss My Lost Boy

I just got home from work. We have live music on Thursday nights and is always someone pretty awesome  with a diverse sound. I was in the back of the restaurant sweeping my section after being cut when the dude started singing this song. I immediately thought of my Lost Boy, Zach. I stopped sweeping and went to the back to get my cell out of my locker and videoed the rest of the song. Massey was asleep when I got home and couldn't figure out how to upload the actual guy singing at the restaurant from my phone (which I sent Zach) but at least know how to upload from YouTube.

Zach had a buddy another (really) Lost Boy when he was in middle school. They had known each other since grade school but lost touch after the other guy took a really wrong turn in his young life, made terrible decisions and lost a battle to his demons. It was heart breaking and can't even begin to imagine how this young man's parents must (still) feel. Zach went to his funeral and this song was played during the service. It had been the kid's favorite song.

I sent the video to Zach and said "Made me think of you and how much I miss you."

At least I still had a son to send it to.

For all the grief he's given me over the years, has given me so much more. I miss him so that sometimes tear up just thinking about him with his smart ass know it all attitude, now hundreds of miles away.

I often wonder (NOT) where he got all that from ??

He can be (and is) a pain in the butt, thinks he is never wrong and always seems to know the right answer.

He's skinny as a  stick and basically me with a schlong and a pair.

I sure do miss him.

We are having Thanksgiving this year at my sister's in Senoia, back in Georgia. I'm not sure if I can make it now being the newbie at work with lesser seniority but sure hope I can. It will be great to see my sister and the rest of the family, but especially to see Zach again and hear what all I'm wrong about.

It absolutely broke my heart when he packed up and went back home after less than a week here in Orlando but has done amazingly well on his own and makes me proud while still leaving me feeling sad.

It's hard letting them fly out of the nest especially after were times you felt like kicking them out when  thought they could fly and you knew they couldn't.

He's on his own now and on his way. I should be happy (and am) but sure leaves a momma with a hole in her heart when they actually don't need you anymore.

I thought raising kids was hard.

Letting them go is excruciatingly harder.

I'm happy he is doing so well, I really am.

But what about me?

It's like a nightmare and a dream come true.

Til next time...COTTON

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