Tuesday, November 8, 2016


After three weeks of sitting on my bony ass worrying even more pounds away, the past two working full time has wore me slap out. Today was my Friday and can always make it through a Friday shift. Since it was Monday night didn't expect to be overly busy, instead easy breezy. I actually prefer weeknights over weekends. Weekends are amateurs. People who eat out on weeknights aren't worried about pinching their pennies til they scream. Every freaking table I had was top notch and pleasant as pop.

They asked the questions... I had the answers. Guess it's a good thing to be such a freak about training in a new job.

I so got this...now.

I gave it my best on my first day training and got a crappy Yelp saying I was "Strange in nature." Yes I was. I was strangely freaked out of my mind over being in a strange place doing a job I didn't know. Come to think of of it, she may have been spot on.

I did just as I'd done when starting at Ecco. I studied more than I did my entire time in high school. I made flash cards, I googled wines, I got Massey to quiz me, I practiced my spiel on my dogs. I took notes and asked tons of questions.

BAM!  I'm a server again.

I know sounds ridiculous to many but is my profession and take extreme pride in what I do for a living; which happens to be Sales and Marketing.

They cut a couple of servers early because it was slow and suddenly another server had to leave because of personal issues. I took over one of her tables and helped out with another.

One of the tables I helped with was a single guy, on his iPad the entire time. Super quiet, super nice. I apologized to him about the shared service and told him to stop me if he needed anything.

After he paid the tab with the other server, stopped me as I walked by.

"What did you say your name was?"
(me) "Kelly."
"You don't look like a Kelly."
(me) "I know, I look like an old woman."

He laughed. Then asked if he wanted another glass of wine by the fire pit out front, could I serve him there?

He stayed for one thirteen dollar glass of wine and left me a twenty dollar tip.

It was like that the entire evening. The manager asked me if I could stay and help out after the other server had to leave? I agreed without any hesitation.

He bought me dinner for helping out and thanked me for being a team player. I love my managers.

I SO got this now... and really enjoy  working there.

I made more money tonight than I have since starting two weeks ago and have actually increased my money every single shift.

Here's the thing about waiting tables. You have to read your guests. Do they want to chit chat or do they want to be left alone? Do they want silent service or do they want to hear your story too?

First and foremost, a guest shouldn't have to ask for something you as a server could have anticipated in advance. That's a firm rule in my book and think is the the kicker to my success as a professional plate slinger.

I'm gonna do just fine at this job and if keeps going the way it is may be like a second Ecco. (small pun)

At least I now have two days off in a row for the first time in over twenty years and kinda feels like a mini stay cation.

I'm gonna stay home with Massey and watch the results pour in from the Shit Show election as I pour another glass of whine for us both.

Trust me.

It'll be okay...really.

Someone snatches the utensils from him.

What actually needs to be addressed is the flat out hate consuming this nation.

Immigrant issue?

Bitch please.

The only people who are aren't immigrants in this country are Native Americans who us immigrants have (and still) treated like red headed step children from jump. I will never forget when I took Zach to the pediatrician when he was about eight years old. We sat in a room waiting for the doctor. On the wall was an old map of the US. One  really small section was labeled "Indian Territory" and pointed it out to Zach. He shrugged and said "That's where they shoved all the Indians."

Any arguments?
...I didn't think so.

Tomorrow, now today will be electing our next President. The Shit Show is done, we've  looked like idiots to the rest of the world and left them wondering why we are still the most powerful nation on earth.

We have to come together.

Divided, we fall.

Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one but you don't have to be a hater. You have to be a voter...and let the best man or woman win. If your candidate doesn't win you had more lazy non voting people on your side of the ticket.

It's not brain surgery, it's democracy.

Til next time..COTTON

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