SHE GOT THE GOLD!!

It is 12:56 Sunday morning.

I got home from work about thirty minutes ago after an exhausting but satisfying day.

Left the house before 7AM in a driving rain...maybe I should call it a torrential downpour.

My daughter had her tri state competition for Winter Guard (the big finale) in Macon. Unfortunately her group was to perform at 8:54 AM at the Macon Centreplex. (UGGH)

I have never, EVER driven as fast as I did this morning in such terrible conditions...I was just so scared that I would miss "The BIG Show".

I never went over the speed limit, but I felt like I should have been driving 40 MPH.

I screeched into the parking lot with four minutes to spare...ran through the parking lot while getting soaked to the bone...paid $15 for a ticket and ran into the arena to hear the announcement "And now the Junior Varsity Winter Guard from East Coweta may take the floor for competition".

I MADE IT!!

Still dripping wet, but yelling for my girl at the top of my lungs I got to see her awesome performance.

I called her when I left Newnan and told her the weather was horrific and if I happened to miss her performance I would meet her back at the high school they were staying at for the weekend.

After they left the stage I wound my way through restricted areas and found her having her picture taken with her team. The look on her face when she looked up and saw me, made paying $15 for a four minute ticket worth EVERY penny.

I followed the bus back to the high school in Warner Robbins where they stayed all weekend (nothing like living in a band room with 29 teenage girls).

The room was a total wreck with cell phones plugged into every available outlet and clothes , Doritos bags and empty powerade bottles everywhere...it was kind of like being in her room at the house!

I helped her fold her clothes, find her glasses that she had lost in the shuffle and spent three hours with her just wandering the school, talking with other girls, watching movies on one girl's lap top and just basking in the light of her love for me...I am so truly blessed.

The weather got nothing but worse while I was there. There were tornado warnings and severe thunderstorm warnings...but it was a SUNNY DAY for me and my girl.

I left in time to drive "safely" home to go to work. I saw at least four wrecks and at one point a SUV in front of me hydroplaned and flew about 200 yards up an embankment landing flipped. I called 911 for the occupant who seemed dazed but alright...they were lucky and hit nothing but the water.

My blood pressure was probably sky high by the time I got home, I spent $20 in gas , $15 for a ticket to watch a 4 minute performance, gave her $10 for a tee shirt that she "HAD" to have...and would do it all again.

Right before I sat down to make this post, I checked my cell phone that I had left at the house by mistake when I went into work ..there was a text from Massey that she had sent earlier...it read "Thank you SO much for coming! I LOVE YOU"!

What more does a Mom need than that?

I'll tell ya what more...

She just called while I was starting this post and told me that her JV team got the GOLD medal!! Not only that but she got to accept the award with the team captain.

The varsity got a Bronze, which ain't too shabby considering there were over 75 different teams there.

So I go to bed at 2 AM last night, get up at 6:30, drive to Macon, drive back for work, come home from work at midnight, type this and get to go pick her up at 3AM at East Coweta when they return home from their victory...I might be waking Tim up for this little trip.

Not a bad day all in all for the Mom of a "Crip".

Kids can wear you out emotionally, physically and financially...but when they "love" you...it makes it all worth the effort and something that I wouldn't miss out on for anything in the world.

I have to go set Tim's alarm clock for 2:50 AM. I think as the sperm donor he should have to pick her up.

He was supposed to drive me this morning but flaked out on me saying we would NEVER make it in time.

Never tell a woman...especially a mother that something isn't "do-able"...it'll bite you in the butt every time.

It was a rainy miserable day...But I feel SOOOO good!

Til next time...COTTON

My Girl The "CRIP"...???

I was at work today when my kids got out of school.

My son went home on the bus and my daughter rode the bus to the high school for her Winter Guard practice.

I got a call from my daughter soon after I arrived at work.

She gets up before ANYONE in our house to get ready for school...it takes a long time when you are a 13 year old girl that actually CARES about her appearance.

She left the house in her usual three layers...she is VERY modest.

First comes the bra, then the camisole and the tank top over that , then the actual shirt that she is wearing.

She is big on accessories, scarves bracelets and hair bows.

She called me at work once she got to the high school for her winter guard practice. She was called to the office during school..to the Principal's office.

They informed her that her scarf was a gang related symbol...and that it insinuated that she was a gang member .

The scarf indeed looked like something that Yassir Arafat wore around his head, but my daughter had it stylishly draped around her neck and obviously caused enough of an uproar to take her out of her academic classes...have her sent to the Principal's office and then to a counselor's office to be told that she was wearing a gang sign and that if she wore the scarf again she would be in violation of school policy and would be subject to suspension.

At the VERY least , I am TICKED!!

I know the school system wants to keep all kids in line and keep a firm check on the possible trouble makers... but my daughter is NOT Massey Arafat or even Massey Tupac.

She is a little girl who wakes up early EVERY morning just to have time to design her "outfit" of the day and try to look fashionable..(although I don't often agree...I let her be HER).

This school is wasting my child's time in the classroom to pull her out and drill her on her supposed gang affiliations and intents with her stupid scarf.

I am livid to say the least and PISSED to say the most.

I understand completely that middle school kids are getting way out of line and need to not only be monitored but reigned in.

Choose your battles wisely...check your facts, and leave the good kids alone.

I will be headed to the school in the morning ...Have thought about wearing a nice black suit with the "Gang" scarf wound around my neck.

This, in my book is the problem..the worries and concerns are misplaced so often that our kids are missing out on the important things, the academics.

I dread going to the school because I have fought so many of my kid's battles (all totally worthy and just).

At least after this year my youngest will be out of their obviously crooked and corrupt system.

LOOK OUT HIGH SCHOOL ...HERE I COME!!

I'm All a"twitter" Now

For Pete's sake...this is ABSOLUTELY the last website I am joining!

I have an entire index card filled out with log in names, usernames, passwords etc.

There is nothing worse than being a 49 year old HACK trying to keep up with the exploding world of "Chatting" on the internet. I spend most of my time trying not to look incredibly stupid, in case some of my kid's friends see me out here in cyberspace.

I think I might like this twitter deal...only time will tell. I thought that I had facebook down pat, then they changed the whole site (probablly just so they could laugh at all us Ole Farts scrambling to keep up)!

Then I get an email saying a dear friend of mine that has moved to Shreveport is "following" me on twitter.

After hitting the "help" button and The "FAQ" button several times, I was able to make a post (we won't go into how long it took me to crop and post a profile picture). I'm still not quite sure how to send him a note or contact him personally, and I have to be at work in seven hours so I suppose that will have to wait!!

I guess I'll get off the computer now and go do something I KNOW how to do...like laundry and vacuuming.

Til Next time......COTTON

Checked Out My Money Trail...

My daughter had a Winter Guard competition at our home school today.

It was my first chance to go to a competition since she has joined. I had to completely redo my schedule at work...been working the same shifts for years but since I am sinking WELL over 1/2 a grand into this...I decided to change MY schedule to fit HERS!

I was not disappointed. There were over 3000 people there from 41 different schools...pretty impressive.

This is the first time I have ever seen her perform with her group...I only have watched her practice in our driveway with one or two other girls.

She had one of the leading dance parts...knocked it out of the park and ALMOST, ALMOST made me glad I am throwing $800 to the school for her to be a part of this group.

This is serious business to these folks too. I never realized how dedicated these kids are, or how crazy the parents can be. I looked out of place without ten buttons and pins and banners on my shirt, pocket book and jacket...most Mom's were a walking display of their daughters.

One lady had a tee shirt on that read "GUARD MOMS GONE WILD"

I can pretty much guarantee that I won't be buying one of those!

All in all I was pretty satisfied with what I saw and the teamwork and camaraderie between all these girls.

And guess what?? My daughter's team won FIRST PLACE!!

I know it's MY own child, but they looked more professional and well rehearsed than any other JV team by far.

I left after she performed to go eat lunch and take the program by my work (they bought a $100 ad) so my boss could see it.

I went back to the school to sit with my daughter to watch the rest of the competition...it started at 1:00 and the last group performed at 8:30.

She was glued to my side. We had a wonderful time watching the other groups and I know that she was bursting with pride that she had her mother with her.(That doesn't happen often, so it was just as special to me).

Kids are a marvelous and fantastic thing...Just when you think they are killing you slowly, they bring you back to the realization that this person used to be in your belly and is an actual piece of you...physically, genetically and emotionally.

It was a wonderful and rewarding day...for her AND me!

I get to do it all over again tomorrow...and you know what? I am really looking forward to it.

It has brought us closer together by leaps and bounds...I can actually see it in her eyes and feel it in the way she doesn't mind me holding her hand while we sit side by side watching the other schools perform.

She is becoming quite a young lady. It makes me sad to see her grow up but proud to see what a fantastic young adult she is turning into.

Maybe I DID do some things right!! Ya just never know with kids...sometimes it's a crapshoot...and sometimes ya just get lucky!

I Have a NEW Home !!

Thank You Jesus! I found yet another site to accept my rambling writings.

After being banished (by my own accord) from my high school site on classmates...I was invited to join a site that has a moderator that can actually keep my cyber stalker in check.

I checked in after signing up and had two welcome messages!!

My high school had the best classmates site on the boards. Once I began to post and my cyber stalker took to the attack, it went downhill rapidly. She not only attacked me, but anyone who came to my defense.

It bordered on the line of insanity at times. I truly feel sorry that it was me and my happy typing fingers that caused the demise, but realize now...SHE IS A PSYCHO.

She called me a racist...for pete's sake...that in it's self is ludicrous.

This new site has the same ole folks....we all jumped ship about the same time and will pick up where we left off...remembering East Point for the great city it was to grow up in and Russell for the great school it was to attend.

I have pictures to post (Massey, help me ONE more time) and so many memories to share.

Hopefully I am leaving my cyber stalker in the dust....that is all she has left on classmates...except for the people that she has made up and posts under pseudonyms....If you think I am kidding I can assure you that I am NOT!

It is a great relief to me to be able to go back to what I do best...writing about my life, my past and my memories.

I swear if I do ONE thing in my life it will be having SOMETHING published.

It may end up to be in my obituary...but it WILL be published!


I responded time after time to her accusations only to go back and delete them before they got posted...I fear she may be more serious about her hate of me than I realize.

But I feel free now to post my trivial stories, spark recollections from others and hopefully entertain and enlighten.

A weight has been lifted from my shoulders. There is nothing I love more than pecking the keys and putting my thoughts out there....or have you noticed that?

Have to wind it up now because my girl has her BIG competition tomorrow at our home high school...have to have her there by 7AM to have her hair done...have to go buy a case of water bottles for the group...(Wouldn't you think that would be included in my $650.00 fee)??

I'll be back tomorrow night for another post and if Massey will help me I will upload the video I make at the competition....I'll try not to zoom in on her ALL the time!


Life is GOOD!

Facebook..."MY" New Frontier

How do you make a 49 year old woman look stupid?

Invite her to join Facebook.

First of all I had to get my daughter to set up my account.

Then I found out you could upload pictures....requiring another consult with my daughter.

It took me a week just to learn to navigate around the site, took another week to figure out the difference between the homepage and the profile page.

After that, a friend sent me an email telling me I needed to set my site to PRIVATE. (I have a cyber stalker out there ya know)

That only took me an hour and three different tries.

Then they start throwing "hugs" and inviting you to "pillow fights" nominating you as "nicest person"..(yeah, RIGHT!) asking to fill out inane surveys, "sending chocolates"...the list goes on and on and on.

I finally found out that all of these things somehow raise money for children's charities. If I could figure out how to help I would, but just giving someone a "poke" was hard for me to understand....(Thanks again Massey).

On one hand I love the concept...have renewed many old friendships and made a few new ones.

On the other hand...after finally feeling pretty secure in logging onto the site...they change the entire setup.

It took me three days to find the groups that I had joined, still can't figure out how to copy a pic from my site and post it on one of my groups (Massey has pretty much dissed my desire for additional help) so I am left to flounder all around the site, hoping to hit the right button, app, key or status.

I guess that young people all around the globe are laughing at me responding to my own posts when I mean to be posting on other's posts, posting double copies of pics because I never know if the first one posted and are all wondering why I am refusing to help children charities.

Ya know, ten years ago...who had a cell phone except Donald Trump and drug dealers?

Now my KIDS have cell phones, ipods, laptops, PS3, WII, the list goes on and on.

My parents are most likely rolling over in their graves...wishing THEY had a cell phone to call me and say "STOP THE MADNESS".

It is just a sign of the times unfortunately...we are a wired nation.

Whereas a kid used to be glued to your hip...now they are wired to the entire world and reaching people, places and search engines that I couldn't have dreamed of... even watching "The Jetsons" as a kid.

The only thing I am missing is "ROSIE" the robot maid...maybe SHE could help me out with my technological attempts at keeping up.

What in the world will MY grandkids be doing one day??? Jetting over in their Hovercraft that they got for high school graduation to visit me in the ole folks home to help change my "Virtual Depends"??


I think that I am scared...really scared...is there an app on FB for that?

When Working Hard REALLY Pays Off

Followers of my blog will be up to speed.

My daughter has joined an obviously 14 karat club at school.

It is called the Winter Guard...they practice unbelievably hard and long to attend competitions all over the Metro Atlanta area.

I was totally devastated when I found out it was $650 for her to be happy and a part of this group.

It went down hill quickly.

$27 for a unitard, $20 for an undergarment, $40 for food when they go on their weekend competitions...$40 for an air mattress because they sleep on the floor of a classroom when they compete at other schools.

A $10 to $15 dollar present for her "secret sister" on the squad.

It never seems to stop and what is worse is that she came on as a replacement for another girl who quit the team almost halfway through the year (I guess her parents ran out of money).

She is so happy though and seems to be committed and it is the first really costly thing she has ever asked for...besides her lap top and her ipod and her digital camera.

Thank God she is actually an exceptional young woman with a heart as big as the national deficit.

So now comes the "big show" at our own high school. 3000 people expected to attend.

I pick her up from practice at 9:15 PM on Thursday. She hands me a note that says she has to sell $150 worth of ads for the program that will be handed out at the "HOME" event the following weekend before Monday morning.

I am supposed to take her to the high school the next day at 4PM to leave for a competition...not due back til Sunday at 7PM.

Somehow while she is gone for three days and I work the entire weekend...We are supposed to sell $150 in ads to an already broken and failing economy that could care less about her being thrilled at twirling and tossing her flag and feeling like she is finally PART of something.

I got REALLY lucky at work today.

My regional manager who is over all the restaurants in my area was in our store for a visit from the big wigs...Thank the Lord they were late.

I felt really apprehensive and embarrassed doing it...but I thought of my daughter, thought of my current economic position, thought of how good of an employee I have been for over ten years....and just WENT FOR IT!

You know what? There was only a slight hesitation, and a question of how much $$ I needed.

The event is being held not 3 miles from my restaurant and I will be attending and directing the masses to go eat at the best restaurant in a 20 mile radius...I am thinking about a sandwich board sign!

I told my regional and general manager how much it meant to me and my daughter , she gave them both a hug when we went to pick up the $$ for the ad.

I tend to give my hugs in the commitment, loyalty and devotion that I give to my job.

Sometimes I wonder why I am still waiting tables at the age of 49.

When days like this happen...I KNOW WHY.

I feel like I go beyond and above when I am at work...and you know what?

THEY KNOW IT.

WHAT GREATER JOB COULD I HAVE THAN ONE THAT APPRECIATES ME AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE IT?

Slumdog Millionaire..."WOW"!!!

Just got home from the most intense two hours I've ever spent in a theatre.

My sixteen year old son and I went for a night out...just the two of us and were not disappointed in the least. It's been a while since we have seen eye to eye on anything, but after the movie my son said "That was pretty intense".

After the movie was over everyone just remained in their seats to watch even the credits roll.

My daughter's doctor grew up in Bombay and has told me the conditions were not the greatest for many, many people and now I see exactly what she means.

I have never been disgusted and disappointed by so many people in such a short time and learned how blessed I and my family are during that same span.

The obstacles and tragedy of his entire childhood...his perseverance and determination to do the right thing and his wonderful and unwavering good character made me realize the power of the human spirit.

For those who have not seen it...it is a MUST SEE!

I don't often spend $19 for two tickets to a movie, but feel this was pretty darn close to being well worth it.

From the opening scene to the dance scene at the end...it was an experience I will not forget.

It makes you realize that even with our crumbling economy and ridiculous health care system...we are still pretty darn lucky.

The last movie that touched me this much was "Crash"...another movie that will open your eyes to the world around you.

Say a prayer of thanks tonight that you are lucky enough to live here...even with all the problems, worries and crises...we are more blessed than many.

TIL NEXT TIME...COTTON

"THAT'S"... Nice !!

That was the favorite saying of one of my dearest friends that I worked with over ten years ago.

A yankee through and through (she grew up with Amy Fisher...Big Joey Butafucco's ex) on Long Island.

We struck an immediate bond...we were both smart ass and full of ourselves.

We virtually RAN the restaurant that we both worked for...everyone else was in awe of us and cowered to our every request or demand. Of course we were the only two with any kind of experience or know how when it came to serving the public.

I was old enough to be her mother, but young spirited enough to be her best friend.

She took care of my youngest two kids so often that I worried they would begin to call "Her" Mom.

They both still remember her because at the time her sister was battling cancer and they had never seen a bald headed woman before (they both still talk about it).

She always longed to be a mother.

When she became pregnant (OOPS) out of wedlock..she was tickled to death.

She didn't mind her circumstances..she embraced her good fortune of being blessed with a child.

She moved back to New York with her parents...grandkid in tow, and I missed her terribly, but was so glad she had accepting and loving parents to help her on her way into the marvelous and trying experience of raising a child on your own.

We kept in touch, although sporadically, but the bond has held throught the years...THAT is why it is called a friendship.

Webster decribes a friend as " A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause: a comrade."

That is exactly what we are..."One who supports, sympathizes with...To befriend".

We are hundreds and hundreds of miles apart...talk rarely on the phone...but when we do the years disappear, it all comes back in a simple "Hello..It's me".

She has gone on to marry, have more children and achieved the dream she always wanted.

It hasn't been easy...nothing worth having ever is.

But I am proud of my girl, proud of my friend and so lucky to have had her come into my life.

Recently she has come swooping to my defense on a stupid classmates site that a former ...HUH how should I phrase it...PSYCHO has belittled and outright lied about me , my sister (OOHHH...That's a BAD) and totally ruined a once great site for friends to re connect and relish the past.

TAG!!! She is it now...taking all the brunt and "viscous" attacks from my cyber stalker(my stalker is a terrible speller).

WHAT A FRIEND!!

To me...that is the meaning of a true friend.

Literally YEARS can pass...but it doesn't matter.

A FRIEND IS A FRIEND IS A FRIEND..FOREVER.

That is the great thing about having a friend, you can count on them, they will always love you. Miles or time do not matter, what matters is that you love that person and they will always love you right back.

Now that this whole facebook, twitter, email, myspace phenom has occurred...I feel closer to her today...being hundreds of miles away, than I did nine years ago when I actually had to pick up the phone.

I am not sure what that says about our society as a whole...but it keeps me in touch easily with a dear friend and seems to bring us closer with every click of the mouse.

I have many friends..I am lucky in that respect.

I just want to point out how important it is to keep the bond, and remember that Webster also calls "friendly" ..Warm and comforting.

Those are two words that describe my YANKEE friend completely.

She is amazing...I always knew she would be....and her being a staunch "DEM" doesn't hurt either.

Just a shout out to you, my "Friend"... Thank you for loving me as much as I love you!

When The Son Doesn't Shine

I have three kids.

Love them all equally..all have qualities that I enjoy, some more than others.

My oldest son graduated high school with a 3.89 without ever cracking a book.

My daughter (who I have to SHOVE down the path of education) is more interested in her social activities and her baby sitting empire, yet she still manages to pull out the grades.

My middle son (GOD HELP US ALL) is bombing out of school at the rate of a sonic boom.

What amazes me is that HE is my really smart one!

He can tell you how to build an atom bomb, or tell you ANY historical fact that you never knew existed..and he would be right on the mark...Trust me..I have googled some of them.

He just doesn't like being "judged by numbers and letters". He is such a fantastic debater...even the principal of the school he attends has told me he needs to be an attorney.

He JUST falls through the cracks.

He hates school...(Not the social part) but says it is a waste of his time.

I emailed two of his teachers this past week...Zach is just dishonest about homework unless I email them.

The first response I got was ALMOST uplifting.


"Mrs.Cotton, your son is not disruptive or disrespectful, he just chooses to not complete or turn in assignments".

WHEW!!! I almost felt good!

No parent likes to hear that their kid is being a snot to the teacher or "sassing" them (old school term I know, but I am AM almost 50).

Then came the email from his Science teacher:

"Mrs. Cotton... Thanks for your email.

Zach is on the borderline of brilliant.

He is lazy in class and does not turn in assignments.

The other day I asked a question that involved intuitive thought. I only expected the high scoring kids in the class to answer, and as they were all scrambling through their books and notes, Zach woke up and gave me the exact answer I was looking for".

This teacher told me that on a daily basis he tells Zach to unleash the talent, use the wonderful brain he has and make it work FOR him.

My oldest son was so easy...I guess I should have seen Zach coming!

He seems to be easing up a bit and realizing MY take on it all.

He is wasting a potential that even "I" would kill to have.

Granted he is right...judging by numbers and letters is ridiculous...but it is school and that is the standard they use.

As my husband often says..."Let's just try to get him out of school and he will be the next Bill Gates".

I hate to have to keep my thumb on him on a daily basis...but I do.

If I email his teachers and check his grades online every day..he seems to at least do the work...but why, oh why does he have to make it SO hard on me?

KIDS...go figure!

At least he has the potential...maybe one day he will realize it.

Sorry...I have been distracted

I have the biggest soap opera going on in my internet world!

My thirty year grudge has kept on and on and on.

On classmates...she chased me off with her "vinim" as she spells it.

Then after I left the site, she continued to rag on me for a couple of weeks...until one of my friends responded in one line..."All the hate seems to be coming from one person".

She wrote back a two page diatribe mentioning me every step of the way.

My friend responded "The hate seems to be coming from one person".

She blasted him back again with another manifesto..to which he responded (God I love him)...."As I said, all the hate seems to be coming from one person".

Baby, that didn't stop her!! It got so ridiculous that I printed off the entire thread to take to work and show my co workers...they had a field day reading it.

We have all abandoned the classmates site..she is basically left to argue with herself.

I didn't get really pissed til she started talking trash about my sister..WHOA!! Don't dis my sis!

She said that the posts I made were written by my sister..and that she could prove the isp numbers were the same and had been written on the same computer...Who in the hell has THAT kind of time?

Number one, cin only types on my family.com and I had to BEG her to post on classmates(guess that was a bad suggestion).

She actually went to the realm of sanity when she called me and Cindy "specious pontificators" and added "Look it up...see I can use big words too".

I don't consider myself a talented writer... but I feel like I do have some type of gift when putting my feelings and thoughts into words.

That may be what irritates her the most, but it is WHAT I DO.

I used to enjoy classmates so tremendously...and not to brag, one of my discussions has had over 1400 views...I think that may be what started it all.

That and the fact that I sat first chair in French horn and she was second....I am serious...that was her first battle against me on classmates..HELLO!!! That was 1977...do we see a possible mental issue here?

So I left classmates and joined facebook...I gotta have somewhere to write!

At least on the facebook high school site they have an administrator and when she starts her tirades they can bounce her off the site.

I promise to come back here more often.

I finally broke down and bought a new computer..it goes so fast and is so FANTASTIC that I can almost feel good about the $500 I spent.

At least my kids are loving it. I have to kick them off of it when I get home from work.

If you want an interesting read and a psychological moment..go to classmates.com and go to schools from East Point Georgia Russell High School. go to the message boards and read under the post: "Keeping the message board nice". It is a trip on the internet that you may find hard to believe...but better than "Dallas" or "All my Children".

Check it out if you have fifteen minutes to spare, or want to observe an obviously rare specimen of the human psyche.

I have just been riveted by it! Not to mention her spelling or cryouts as a victim.

Promise to be back tomorrow with a post about my sixteen year old son (that could go on forever) and a post about people I have waited on recently at work. Thanks Frances, Joannah and Elizabeth for being followers..I have tons to tell you all...but my clothes are done in the dryer and I have to toss another load in before I go to bed.

Thanks for waiting and thanks for reading!!

My Eye's Aren't Bad, But My Arms Are Too Short..

When I am at work...I card everybody. we had a bartender go to jail one night because the police sent in an underage person and she ordered a drink...It sounds more like entrapment to me...but who am I to argue? You "Can't fight City Hall"...

Now I find myself carding EVERYONE...just to cover my own butt.

The problem I am having is that I can't hold the driver's license far enough away from my face to read the date on the card.

Of course sometimes the person is a visiting associate with Hoshazaki( probably mis spelled) or Panasonic when I ask for ID it is in Japanese...so my usual comment is "ko-nee-chi-wa" which I horribly mis spelled..but know that it means hello in the Asian world.

I had a customer ask me if I needed to borrow his glasses..NO! What I need is longer arms.

DAMN...I am getting too old to be able to read a license..(Who had to make it in such tiny print anyway)? Like the government is TRYING to save us money....HELLO...I can give you a LOT more ways to save money than making me look old at work...(thank the Lord for the dim lighting).

Sometimes...no A LOT of times old people come in and comment about how dark it is in our restaurant.
I tell them that is the main reason I work there...the lighting takes ten years off of My life..If they change to florescent..I will walk out the door.

I just try to give good service...I always have a good time (I just make light of the worst case scenarios) and hope that it all evens up in the end.

Pretty much my job is a crap shoot these days...but I have been here thirty odd years and think that if ANYONE can survive...it is me...not to brag, but wooing the public has ALWAYS been a forte of mine. I have said it before and will say it again..I have my PHD in BS and put it to use to the fullest extent every day I walk into my store...and you know what...Hell , I have people I don't even remember saying "HEY. it's our good friend Kelly"...when I walk up to a table...but if they love me..I LOVE them.
I almost feel like saying "Thank you to my adoring fans...and thanks for remembering me".

My job is such a sales and marketing gig...but one that I feel I am good at.

I am one of the few people in America today that has SOME type of control over their income.

I do a crappy job and I either get fired or don't make money..I do a great job and my daughter gets a new lap top and I feel REALLY good about making other people feel better for coming out spending $50 on a meal for two in these struggling and worrisome times.

I am TRULY a BLESSED person....Cotton

Stormy, Stormy Nights...

Boy, we had a NIGHT here in my hometown.

Storms blew in from the west...when I went into work at 4PM, the tornado siren was going off.

I called home because my two younger kids were at home and my husband was still at work.
No answer...they BOTH have cell phones (that WE pay for) and they were not answering the house phone either.

I finally got in touch with them..they were in the driveway shooting hoops.."It is SO warm outside".

I told them there was a tornado on the ground in our county, headed in the direction of our house.

My son (who is sixteen) just handed the phone to his sister (who is thirteen and went directly into panic mode) ...Thank the LORD for girls!

She asked to go to a neighbor's house and I replied that would be a good idea.

My sixteen year old was picked up by his 23 year old brother who drove through the warnings to take my youngest son back to his "crib" in downtown Atlanta.

As they would say "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do".

IDIOTS!!!

They DID beat the major storm, although the storms have lasted all night.

When I arrived home from work, my 13 year old daughter was sitting next to her daddy, watching the weather channel, clutching her bible, her pillow and a flashlight!

THAT'S MY GIRL!!

PREVENTION...PLANNING...THINKING... THAT'S a woman for ya!!

So far we have been lucky, although the neighboring county had windows broken out of their houses from the baseball size hail.

My daughter (obviously is sleeping with me tonight)... and we directed my husband to stay on the ground floor JUST IN CASE (not really, but it is nice to not hear his snoring).

I think most of the storms have passed...and even when they hit...what are the chances that your house will be hit by a tornado? If I am lucky...small..but at least I can relax in my king size bed with a girl that likes to watch the same shows I do...and daddy is downstairs with the dogs (they fart too much for me).

If I don't post again, I was wrong.

If I DO post again...I got a night off and my daughter and I had a wonderful, exclusive and quiet night just bonding...HEY! We need a LOT more of that!!

Living in a house full of men is like living in a frat house...unfortunately I am the only advisor and the only one that gives a "Crap".

I love them, but want them to know that THEY will be the one's to flip me over to prevent bedsores one day....and they had better not gripe! Can they not remember the stomach viruses and trips to football and basketball practice...not to mention the fact that they have given me more grief than the current economy? Thank the Lord I have ONE girl... of course she is only 13..I may have to get back to you on THAT one

DANG...I'm OLD!!

Went into work at 10:30 this morning and got off at 9:00 tonight.

I love the people that I work for ..and love SOME of the people that I work WITH.

What amazes me is that at the ripe ole age of ALMOST fifty...I continue and constantly work circles around my co workers..most being 25 or younger.

Oh they complain, they gripe..they leave dirty dishes on the ledges (they are ten feet from the dish area where they are supposed to put them).

They leave computer printers out of tape when there is a roll sitting RIGHT next to the terminal.
It is almost like working with my kids...but you know what?

They aren't my kids , my back went out today and I got pretty sick and tired of cleaning up behind them, finishing jobs that they should have and in the same breath...doing my own job as well.

I started waging my own personal war.
I wouldn't pick up the dishes...but would write a note..."Take your dishes to the dish pit".

I would leave another note..."Don't leave dirty glasses on the ledges".

I would actually call people out by name when I saw them doing things that not only I knew ...but THEY knew were wrong.

By the end of my shift I had many enemies...but For Pete's Sake...Do your stinkin job!!

I told my husband last night that I was twice the age of most people that I work with..yet I work circles beyond circles around them.

He remarked that they do it because I LET them. They KNOW that I will do the job, just to keep things running.

He is EXACTLY right...I am an ENABLER...I make their job easier and help them make money because I am committed to my standards as a server.

But approaching fifty...the tide is about to turn.

Clean up your OWN mess...run your OWN food...do your OWN job.

HEY!! We are all making money here, let's all contribute equally.

If you don't..I'll be dead in a month and THEN who will do all your work?
Just had to vent...not that it will change anything...but a steaming hot bath and a heating pad will!

What Kind of Idiot Do I Look Like?...REALLY!!

So I am at work today...a pretty busy lunch (people wanting to avoid the horrendous VALENTINE DAY MASSACRE in the restaurant industry).

The hostess asked me to pick up an extra table...I'm ALWAYS up for that!

I greeted them and asked what they would like...cranberry tea, strawberry lemonade or maybe a glass of wine?

I was met with a brusque..."I want sweet tea with NO lemon, NO lemon, NO lemon".

I actually felt like putting three lemons in her glass and saying..."I AM SOOO sorry, I thought you said to bring you a sweet tea with a lemon, lemon, lemon....did you say NO lemon, No lemon, No lemon?

It gets worse.

She ordered a salad...I believe this is pretty much verbatim.

"I want a salad with iceberg lettuce only..and I mean no cucumber, no onion, no tomato, cheese or crouton...bring us a LOT of bread with extra, extra butter...just so you don't have to go back."

Her obviously beaten down husband said "bring me a cheeseburger".

I made sure the "princess's" salad was PERFECT...took them tons of (free) bread and refilled her sweet tea..with NO lemon, NO lemon, No lemon as often as it was emptied.

My point is...don't treat me like an imbecile until I act like one.

I really had to try hard to not give her my "Mama is ticked look". One that I frequently give not only my three kids, but my husband as well.

When their (perfect..thanks to me) lunch was over..she came back at me with "I would like one of your delicious sweet teas to go...with NO LEMON". Thank the Lord she only said the word "NO" once.

I told a co worker....If I could be truly sure she wasn't highly allergic to lemon...I would have sunk three lemons in the bottom of her to go cup!!

But needing my job as I do, and rising above her condescension... I gave them both a smile...took her a tea with NO lemon, No lemon,No lemon in a go cup and thanked them for coming in for lunch and told them that it was my pleasure to have waited on them.

Ya know...I have been doing this for thirty years...and granted I AM a goofball.

But wait until I really screw up before you treat me like I am Gomer on the Andy Griffith Show.

But what goes around comes around...they tipped me $5.00 on an $11.00 tab.

My psychological skills have been honed to perfection over my thirty years in this business.

It is almost a game to me...treat me like an idiot and I'll show you just how GOOD a server I am!

Just like I always say "I have my PHD in B.S".

The rest of the shift, my co workers and I made a game of repeating EVERYTHING three times.

When I walked out the door with the $90 in my pocket for a three hour shift...I said "Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye".

OH, I'll be back tomorrow....BRING IT ON!!!

Paranoia, Will Destroy Ya...

Can't remember the band...I THINK it was AC/DC.

I just loggd off of my "new" facebook account and my computer was running so slow that I folded two loads of laundy while typing a ten word message.

Am I being paranoid about my cyber stalker...or could she actually "hack" into my computer and just 'mess things up'???

I know that this modem is older , but only when I try to get in touch with classmates...it seems to freeze up.

Now that I am on my blog...things are moving rapidly and I am amazed at the instant movement and speed of my post.

I just can't think of any other reason...and like I said, I hate to be paranoid..but if this little, bitter person has done ANYTHING ...and I mean ANYTHING...to my computer system, isn't that illegal?

I just don't get it...When I am in my email...all is fine...when I am on my blog...all is fine.

When I go to post on classmates...it takes fifteen minutes to type a ten word message. Same with my new facebook account that I started for high school connections.

Some computer geek that MAY be reading my blog, help me out...am I being paranoid or am I being a victim??

I am certain she doesn't know about my blog...YET...but the venom and acidity of her comments directed towards me on the high school site let me know that she is unstable and obviously holding a major grudge .

Everyone has dropped off the site...and that only seems to encourage her rath...and now it is MY fault that people have left her hanging without a person to talk to.

Some one that knows the inner workings of the internet HAS to read my blog.

Am I being crazy? Or could I possibly be right?!

Lovin' Me Some Face Book!!

Since my fall from grace with my Classmates site...I have returned with a vengeance.

My sister first suggested facebook...and once I got my teenage son to sign me up (I didn't have clue how to do it)...I am off and rolling!

Not only have I acquired 37 friends in the first few days (I only had 20 friends on myspace after two years) I found a group from my high school that has a site that was NEEDIN my help!

I have been a typing fool (no pun intended).

Just to be able to write my memories of my high school without a scathing and bitter reply is an absolute joy.

Granted some of the icons are silly...ie throwing beads, chocolates etc.

But it is a really great site, one that you have to be INVITED to (good on my part) and a great place to re connect.

I also posted the website for my blog on my profile and it is amazing that my former class mates are ACTUALLY reading this site....and seeming to like it.

I just got home from working a ten hour shift...WHEW, I am too old to do this anymore.

I do have a funny story to share though.

One of the servers met her mom for lunch today in the restaurant...it was her mom's birthday and there were several of her mom's friends there as well (all women around my age).

YOU KNOW ME... I went up to the table and said to her mother..."So I hear it is your birthday...we have a male stripper named Vince that will be out here as soon as you get through with lunch".

All the women clapped their hands in mock glee and laughed.

Only the server , who's mom was celebrating her birthday, knew... that in fact OUR MANAGER was Vince.

Not two minutes after I left their table...my manager (Vince) came cruising through the dining room and stopped at their table to introduce himself.

The look on not only the server's face but the entire group was enough to get me through the whole shift.

I don't know if they were thinking..."Keep your pants on son" or "Will we be charged extra for the show"?

All I know is that it made me chuckle...made my fellow server know that I AM officially insane... and made a bright spot in a long and tedious day.

Everyone at work knows what an idiot I can be...HEY! It breaks up the monotony and I believe I am the favorite 'House' comic.

How great is it to have a job that you not only love, but a free platform to perform your routine ... whenever you can squeeze it into your shift?!

HEY...I Haven't gotten fired...YET!!

I cannot think of a better profession for me than the one I have....sales and marketing with a sideline comedy routine as a bonus.

Home From My "Marketing" Job

Just blew in the door after a WONDERFUL night at work (Seriously).

With the economy, I have taken a big hit in the paycheck. People just don't eat out like they used to and even when they do, they tip a LOT less these days. I think some people don't realize that I make $2.13 and hour and I NEVER see one penny of that because they take taxes out on what I claim for tips. I claim EVERY penny I make mainly because when you go to buy a house or even a car...would you rather show that you make $20K or $40K ? Also we were audited a couple of years back. The IRS said I had two kids when I have three.

It took three months of faxing records and documents to the IRS to prove that I was right and they were wrong.

Did they reimburse me for all the faxing and overnight mailings? I don't think so!

It was more like an "OH YEAH...YOU DO HAVE THREE KIDS...OUR BAD".

ANY HOO... tonight was a banner night. I got my butt kicked from the time I walked in the door until I clocked out.

I had one table that stayed for almost four hours. A birthday dinner for a guy in his thirties. They ordered Jagermeister shooters, lots of beer and had a good ole "Throw down". They closed out one tab (tipped me GREAT) and thirty minutes later started another tab. When I brought their round of drinks (they had a designated driver) the birthday boy said "Gracias" to which I replied "Da Nada...mi amigo". He said "Habla Espanol"?? I quickly came back with "Hell yeah...who do you think is back there cooking your food"?? I told him I had learned more Spanish working in the restaurant industry than I did in all of my schooling (which included Spanish lessons from grade 4 through 12).

They LOVED me...and thankfully showed me their love on their charge slip!

Moving on to the next good table!

My wonderful sis came in with two of her good friends..sat and had delicious salmon salads with our awesome "house" dressing...lemon , oil, mustard with crushed green olives, diced tomatoes and a hint of garlic (just to brag a bit).

They were seated really near the kitchen (anyone else would have complained).

When they went to leave, my sister's friend...facing our dish pit as she gave me a hug said "Be careful over there, the floor looks really wet".

I told her not to worry, the floors were treated with a non slip coating. She said "REALLY"??

I shot back "Oh yeah, I could go do a cart wheel in the dish pit".

As another server walked by, I handed him the coffee pot I had in my hand and said "Hey Rob...hold this for me while I go do a cart wheel in the dish pit".

As all the young people that I work with do...he obligingly obeyed me and took the pot from my hand and carried on (although glancing over his shoulder to see if I would really do it).

The dish pit is the worst place in the house (for obvious reasons) but I have often told my co workers...if you DO fall in the dish pit, I don't care if you break a vertebrae...between the grime on the floor and the humiliation of falling, you are up in a flash stating "YEAH, I'm okay".

Tonight was a glorious night...everything ran smooth, the peeps loved me and showered me with their monetary praise.

Tomorrow could be a completely different story.

That is the only downfall of being a server...YOU CAN'T COUNT ON BANKING EVERY SINGLE SHIFT!!

I truly believe in my heart that I excel at my job and it will all even out in the end run if I give every shift my best effort...and I genuinely try to do just that.

It "IS" sales and marketing... and I enjoy it almost too much.

I make people enjoy having me as their server and in return...they come in and specifically ask for my table.

It's like I have my own comedy club that I don't have to pay overhead on!!

Of course I know WHO to joke with and WHO to kow tow to...and I can kiss butt when I have to...It is part of the job.

But the good ALWAYS outweighs the bad (so far) and I enjoy what I do for a living ALMOST too much.

It is just in my personality and persona...I think I was meant to be on stage SOMEWHERE...I am just not sure where........YET!!!!

The High Cost of Self Esteem (but I'll pay it) !

My youngest is my only daughter.

A total gift in her self.

An average student, but a tremendous young person. I have never seen a girl that enjoyed a math tutoring class as much as she did (it was her very own social club) but it did greatly improve her grade.

Last year she decided to try out for the track team...went to practice every day for two weeks...gave it her all...and was cut on the last day to be replaced by three girls that came to the last two days of the tryouts.

My sore point was "Let her make the stinking team...she doesn't have to run in every meet, but if my girl wants to run...LET HER".

It totally crushed her, mainly because they took her picture with the track team for the yearbook one day and cut her the next.

This year...half way through the year she volunteered to try out as a sub for the Winter Guards (the fancy dancy flag twirlers).

She tried out for the sub position and HOT DOG was asked to finish out the year in their remaining competitions.

The director/choreographer/leader and obviously part time teacher told me when I went to pick her up that she had caught on very quickly and even helped out some of the girls that had been on the team all year.

He told me that I looked so familiar to him and when Massey told him where I worked...that was it! He said I had waited on him several times at the restaurant and that I was a fabulous (a word I think he uses a lot) server. I thanked him and gave my standard reply "I didn't go to college for nothing"!!

He gave the me forms to fill out and some information sheets. Then he hit me square between the deposit slips with "The cost is six fifty", I knew immediately that the decimal point wasn't after the SIX. I think that I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
He quickly came back with that since she was joining halfway through the year we could work out a payment plan with a discount.

Hopefully this means $325.00

As far as a payment plan, I felt like telling him to get in line...I am already on so many payment plans that I feel like the next twenty years have been mapped out for me.

I felt like adding...since I am such a fabulous server, you'll need to be uppin those tips when I wait on you too.

I told my husband that the joy in my daughter's face and the total elation of being good at something and being encouraged was enough for me...I'LL DO IT!!

I can pick up extra shifts and work seven days a week if need be...to have a child not only WANT to be a part of something but actually excel at it is reward enough for me.

The only downside is that if she is THAT good...next year I'll be shelling out the entire $650.00.

I look at it this way...I never had to buy HER braces...both the boys cost me $3500.00 a piece. They aren't in Winter Guard...but they both have an extremely winning smile (thanks to Mom).

All that matters in the end run is that she feels wonderful and a part of something that means the world to her.

I just wonder what precious metal this flag she is twirling is made of? $650.00...

PLEEZEE...talk about inflated pricing!!

I may end up in a bail out package before it is all over...but my little girl is happy, and to me that is all that truly matters.

You're My Only Outlet Now

Too much drama and totally childish mud slinging on my classmates site for me.

I do not mean from everyone. I mean from ONLY one.

I tried to back out gracefully and even THAT didn't work.

It was alright when she was just bashing me...but when she started in on my sister, she started to really piss me off!

We tried several attempts of offering the 'Olive Branch' only to have it slapped back at us like a whip.

I decided to just let her have the site, and return to my Peeps that love me!

I am thinking about creating a high school FACEBOOK page, and maybe we can all reminisce there without constant friction and ridicule.

What I think amazes me most is the bitter and caustic attitude that this poor girl still harbors after over 31 years.

So what I was the first chair on French Horn? Does it matter to her THAT much after over three decades that she never challenged me for the chair...and if it does, who's fault is that...mine or hers?

At the very least she has given me material for my blog and a good read for people that haven't read a tabloid lately. National Enquirer ain't got 'squat' on this girl!

I think that in some way, high school was a difficult period in every one's life. I know it was in mine (and I didn't even know at the time I was obviously ruining someone else's).

But it is over three decades down the path of life...BY GONES BE BY GONES!!

After she posted her last manifesto to my sister, she tried to start up a new chat acting all happy and upbeat.

NOT ONE RESPONSE from anyone.

I truly do feel sorry for her, but I have tried time and time again to apologize or re connect in a positive way and have been cyber stalked at every turn.

Life is NOT a bowl of cherries...but spitting the pits at people isn't the greatest option either.

Til next time...COTTON