So I am at work today...a pretty busy lunch (people wanting to avoid the horrendous VALENTINE DAY MASSACRE in the restaurant industry).
The hostess asked me to pick up an extra table...I'm ALWAYS up for that!
I greeted them and asked what they would like...cranberry tea, strawberry lemonade or maybe a glass of wine?
I was met with a brusque..."I want sweet tea with NO lemon, NO lemon, NO lemon".
I actually felt like putting three lemons in her glass and saying..."I AM SOOO sorry, I thought you said to bring you a sweet tea with a lemon, lemon, lemon....did you say NO lemon, No lemon, No lemon?
It gets worse.
She ordered a salad...I believe this is pretty much verbatim.
"I want a salad with iceberg lettuce only..and I mean no cucumber, no onion, no tomato, cheese or crouton...bring us a LOT of bread with extra, extra butter...just so you don't have to go back."
Her obviously beaten down husband said "bring me a cheeseburger".
I made sure the "princess's" salad was PERFECT...took them tons of (free) bread and refilled her sweet tea..with NO lemon, NO lemon, No lemon as often as it was emptied.
My point is...don't treat me like an imbecile until I act like one.
I really had to try hard to not give her my "Mama is ticked look". One that I frequently give not only my three kids, but my husband as well.
When their (perfect..thanks to me) lunch was over..she came back at me with "I would like one of your delicious sweet teas to go...with NO LEMON". Thank the Lord she only said the word "NO" once.
I told a co worker....If I could be truly sure she wasn't highly allergic to lemon...I would have sunk three lemons in the bottom of her to go cup!!
But needing my job as I do, and rising above her condescension... I gave them both a smile...took her a tea with NO lemon, No lemon,No lemon in a go cup and thanked them for coming in for lunch and told them that it was my pleasure to have waited on them.
Ya know...I have been doing this for thirty years...and granted I AM a goofball.
But wait until I really screw up before you treat me like I am Gomer on the Andy Griffith Show.
But what goes around comes around...they tipped me $5.00 on an $11.00 tab.
My psychological skills have been honed to perfection over my thirty years in this business.
It is almost a game to me...treat me like an idiot and I'll show you just how GOOD a server I am!
Just like I always say "I have my PHD in B.S".
The rest of the shift, my co workers and I made a game of repeating EVERYTHING three times.
When I walked out the door with the $90 in my pocket for a three hour shift...I said "Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye".
OH, I'll be back tomorrow....BRING IT ON!!!
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