Are We Done Yet?

 I'm not really sure how we got from the picture above to the picture below in what seemed no time at all. My oldest is 26 and out making his mark in the world. My younger son turns twenty in the matter of a few short weeks and is busy trying to get his recent marks in the world erased... and doing a pretty good job. I'd rather him be stupid when he was eighteen than when he is married with a wife and kids. Next in line is my last in line. Around this time next year I'll be throwing my last high school graduation party.

Massey has always been more interested in school than either of my boys. They were both just glad to graduate. Massey has savored every minute and each moment.

She (as well as I) enjoyed several seasons  with the Guard, learned some tough lessons about commitment and camaraderie and both made some life long friends. I still miss it.

This past year has been all about her grades (of her own choosing) and for the first time I had a kid in the National Honor Society. I think I was the only parent that cried at the induction ceremony but was so proud I could have popped.

She still remained in women's chorus which doesn't take up as much time, still has some Guard friends in it and is a really talented group of young women.

Tonight was the banquet.

 The teacher is young , excited and most probably a pushover but has produced a very talented ensemble and all the girls  love her to death . This is her presenting Massey with an award.

It was by FAR the largest chorus banquet they have had yet and I've been going to them since she was in middle school. Here's the teacher and three of them doing their "Land shark."

A while back Massey mentioned  they should get the restaurant we both work for to cater the end of year banquet. The teacher called my boss and as a favor to me, he gave them a dirt cheap price for some of the best food on the south side of Atlanta. Spaghetti with marinara or meat sauce, rolls with butter pats, fresh salad and home made salad dressing, iced tea and home made cookies and brownies.

I was in the office talking with the owner the other day when he told me Massey had told the teacher that she and I would be glad to pick up and deliver the food to the banquet.

WHAT?????????

Len said "I gave them a deal on the food but the teacher knew it didn't include delivery."

So I was looking forward to enjoying a nice relaxing evening off and now it seems I am  catering for 160 people....in a dress!

Here's the thing. I love doing catering jobs for the restaurant and we do quite a bit of it and he pays me really well for it...but HE is always there with me. He has done this for almost thirty years and knows the business forwards and backwards. I just listen to him and do what he says. I didn't mind not being paid, I'd do anything to help out with my kids and their functions, but now it seemed "I" was in charge and if something went wrong it would be MY fault. Like the great boss he is he finally said he would load everything up in his catering van and have two cooks deliver it to the venue, then I was on my own. He said he would have a couple of guys come back and pick up all the equipment. This is something he normally charges fifty dollars for but what can I say? They love me!

I was already nervous and got downright terrified as people got there thirty minutes early and just kept coming. There were over 200 people there. Another chorus mom I have known since the early eighties when I was slinging pizza at Johnny's and she was a regular was there to help me. Several of the chorus girls were there early to help and we kicked into action.

We were originally going to let them serve themselves but I got nervous at  the size of the group and would be mortified if we ran out of food.  We decided to serve them their spaghetti and then let them help themselves to salad, rolls and dessert.

The line got backed up once or twice, but being the genius chef he is, my boss sent an abundance of pasta and sauce so we let people come back for seconds. We should have had someone guarding the dessert table...the brownies and cookies were gone first. For Pete's sake...do people not have the common sense to just take one? Then again, it was mostly teens there and I can't much blame them. My boss is an excellent baker as well and makes all my kid's birthday cakes for me.

When the line begin to dwindle I felt a huge sigh of relief...we had plenty of pasta left over, the salad bowl had a bit left in it and we ended up with two rolls left.

One woman who came through the line asked if I was with Mama Lucia's? I said I was and she said "My son had a sports banquet catered and the food was terrible." My heart sank and I wanted to ask her to speak more softly. She said quickly..."No you misunderstood me. This was GREAT, do you happen to have a business card, we would like to have your restaurant cater our next one. The food is amazing and I love the way  you have it all set up."

Dang...maybe I should have more faith in myself as a caterer after all!

Only when I sat down with my own plate to eat did my nerves calm down. The woman was right...it was "Delicious!"

When  the the van came back to pick me up...it was the owner who walked in. I had every thing pretty much ready  to go back to the restaurant and when I walked out with the last couple of bowls following him to the van, he said "Looks like I delivered and picked up anyway."

He's a good man. He's a crazy, CRAZY Italian but I work hard for him and he returns the favor in kind time and time again. He had another catering job  tonight for the new hospital, an important and lucrative one but treated our banquet with  the same professionalism.

I don't want to jinx myself but I think my bad luck has run its course. We still struggle but who doesn't?  I have a leg up. God loves me, my family loves me and I have so many friends that I can't count them all. I have  bosses that recognize and appreciate my hard work.
I have a husband that hasn't killed me in my sleep yet (most probs because he works the night shift) and three kids that can make me mad but more often make me smile. Throw in two dogs who think I am the bomb.com and there you have it...Urban Utopia!

One more year of high school left for Massey and one year left for me to be a high school mom. You know what? I think I'm gonna miss it.

Including a short video of this amazing group of young women. This was a casual concert..no uniforms just a group of young women loving what they do....Making  this momma's heart sing!

Til next  time..."Catering COTTON"

The Black Hole Seems to Have Light

For the past year I having been sinking...slowly and surely into a black hole.

It started as a mole you might feel was suspicious and need to get checked out.

Then you just think it is nothing and keep on going.

Months down the road the mole turns into a wart that luckily is in a place you can hide from others. A few more months and OMG the wart has hairs growing out of it and you begin to feel disgusted.

Suddenly you feel overwhelmed by the hairy wart but think that if you just keep on hiding it...it may go away.

Finally some low life points out your hairy wart and begins to pluck the hairs out at your own expense...one by one, leaving you with nothing but a wart.

It's still not a good feeling but at least it's just a wart.

Then you find out the wart is not just a wart but a virus that is encompassing your whole life. You feel like you are secure, have had the same job for over 12 years and feel that at least you have that to fall back on.

The next day you wake up and your wart is a land slide blocking you with no other way out.

At first you just lie under the rubble hoping someone will wake you up and tell you it is all a bad dream. Then days later you realize that your worst nightmare has become a reality and you are on your own...literally financially and emotionally.

That is when true friendship and the love of God comes into play.

You've always been a decent person and always helped others...suddenly your true friends show their true colors and WHAM... lift you up with prayers , e mails calls and monetary help.

They send you gifts... they feed your family and take care of your kids.

Yes it is humiliating in the beginning but welcomed in the end.

I still had a job and was keeping our heads above water.

Then the black hole sweeps in and you are lost. The job you had dissolves. All the work you have done for the past 12 years is nothing and you are left with a gape of wonder and a sense of "What the hell happened."

Then your family and your friends kick into overdrive...keeping not only you but your family afloat.

It doesn't pay your mortgage but allows your family to survive and concentrate on MAKING that mortgage.

I got a new job...a job that I love and a job that loves me.

Until today I did not know that in actuality we were close to being three months behind on our mortgage. My husband talks to the lenders on our mortgage...I don't need any added stress. He told me he was sorry that he had told me and didn't mean to add to my burden.

The thing is...we are a team. He has been overwhelmed as I have by all the gifts that people have sent us...but losing a $700 a week job has set us back even further and I had no idea til today that we were that close to losing the house that is over our heads.

The bank was in the process of trying to debit the monthly payment from my account...for the third time and after failing twice had nothing to show but the two $37 charges for returning the check .

I went to my new job to pick up my paycheck...the one for training and probably the last check I would get...most servers never get a paycheck because taxes are taken out of their tips and the tips are what you live off .

I had a $251.oo check and drove straight to the bank to deposit it along with the money I made last night.

I had to go by and pay Charter because we were late with their payment and my Internet wasn't working.

Came home and got online to check my bank balance and there it was!!

Unemployment had finally been approved and paid me for the last two weeks...one deposit of $330 and another or $285. With my paycheck the house note cleared and now we are only two months behind.

Baby steps...a little at a time. One foot in front of the other.

When I went to the mailbox...a task I dread lately...I had an debit card from DFACS for food stamps...over $500 for food for my family and the sweetest thing I have had happen in a while. Now I can put all of my tips toward paying bills and the mortgage.

Granted we are still behind but now they know we are making the effort and hopefully we will keep the house.

Without the help of so many we wouldn't have been able to make a house note clear...without the help of so many we wouldn't be in our house at all.

I went and bought groceries...LOTS of groceries and took my coupons with me. I had $40 worth of coupons and if I didn't have to buy dog food would have walked out without spending a dime. My dogs have been downgraded to Kibbles and Bits, but didn't seem to mind. There was a short time that I thought my kids may be eating Kibbles and Bits so it worked out really well.

I know God is never late to answer prayers but he sure can keep you in suspense...

Thanking God, my all my friends and family and a new job for letting me feel like that hairy wart is finally going away. When you're 50...a hairy wart doesn't help.

Getting up in the morning to start paying forward...look out people I intend to make all your love not only justified but well deserved.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

TIL NEXT TIME... Cotton with a black hole behind her and a hairy wart fading fast

The "REAL" Moon Walk

Had my one day off and started it at the high school with my daughter who started Guard camp today. Nine to nine, Monday through Friday out on the hot asphalt of the high school parking lot that has been painted like a football field.

I volunteered today since I had the day off (although I had a million other things to do.)



I met three other guard moms (who are stay at home moms.) After two hours of listening to them talk about their relatives, husbands and in laws..I knew I wasn't really needed all that much . I left to go get Massey some lunch, came back and ate with her. I stayed a while and then said I had to go to the grocery store and post office and would be back to bring her dinner. Had she said "Why aren't you staying?" I would have stayed the entire time, but since she was okay with it and the "Real Housewives of Coweta County" seemed to have it covered..I slipped off.



I work in my yard for sometimes five hours and get no sunburn. Sitting doing nothing for two hours I was roasted. Even my lips are sunburned. At least now I have figured out that all I have to do is drive to the school about three times a day and spend an hour or so each time...just in case.



The reason we are there (supposedly) is in the case of an emergency or if something out of the ordinary happens. I hope neither does, but I am okay going up several times a day, always asking the "Housewives" if they need me to bring anything back or if there is something else I can do.



So far it is a win win situation. I am doing my part and I am making it as painless as possible.



My husband just walked through the door from picking her up at nine and it seems there were no rumors about the "run away mom."



I have found my niche with this group. Just show up every day and ask if there is anything I can do, if there is I will do it gladly. If everything is okay I will go back to my own life for a few hours, work a shift and come back to claim my kid.



Talk about "One step for man, one giant leap for mankind".



All that these organizations need is some kind of effort on the part of every parent and I am down with that!



I will be there every day this week, just at different times and when I can fit it into my work schedule.



But ya know, that is all that is needed to make it a well run system. It's the parents that just can't seem to squeeze in an hour a week to help out that put a kink into things.



I mean if we are paying over $700.00 for our girls to be a part of this group. I for one, want to see it in progress...be there every step of the way and get the most enjoyment I can for forking over almost a thousand dollars (after wind suits, undergarments ...shoes and other equipment.)



I am just happy to know that they are a friendly group...all they want is SOME help. I can do that!



SEGUE... I used to call this "Anyhoo".



Can you believe that a man walked on the Moon forty years ago? How did time fly by so quickly and where did it go? I remember us all huddled around our black and white TV with the aluminum foil wrapped on the rabbit ears for better reception.

When I was a kid we had one TV and one phone in our house. The TV was as big as a love seat. The phone was a black rotary dial hanging on the wall in the kitchen. As far as video games go... we had Atari. Man , was that fun batting that little ball back and forth with our straight line paddle! As you got better you could speed it up to another level . I don't think we ever had a push button phone, but I always loved using the one at my friend's houses and was always amazed at how fast they could punch in the numbers. Me, I fumbled around looking for the next number and just couldn't get that rapid dialing technique down like they did.

In our house now , we have five televisions...all with cable. We have four telephones, a computer in the downstairs and my daughter has a lap top. We all have cell phones. If you had told me forty years ago that I would have all of this in my house when I was grown, I would assume that I was going to grow up to be a millionaire... especially if you told me I would have a riding lawn mower parked in my garage as well. Heck , even having a garage would have impressed me almost as much.

I am not rich. I am far from it, but I am blessed.

Went to see my co worker tonight (this blog is a two day long post) at The Sheperd Center. The girl is looking great! She finally got the cast off of her leg and is coming home on Saturday. I asked her if she was X'ing off the days on her white board in her room and she said she was. Her younger brother is here from Michigan and he noticed that she was a day behind in marking off the days. She said she was glad to be going home and felt bad about the way she had treated some of the nurses when she first arrived. She said she had apologized to every one of them ... I told her they were most probably used to reactions like that from patients when they first arrive. I told her the nurses probably had a mark off calendar counting down her release as well in their nurses station !!

If a man can walk on the Moon forty years ago...my friend can walk out of that hospital on Saturday and be on cloud nine. She has a great family support system and people sending up prayers every day on her behalf. I told her tonight that she has given me a new perspective on life and has inspired many, many people.

I am going to see Frances tomorrow in her new digs at the Rehabilitation center. Today at work, "The Girls From the Home" (see previous post) came in to eat with me. They are from an Alzheimer's Home and are quite a hoot. At least this visit they all kept their granny panties on. One of them did slip an appetizer plate in her purse as she passed a table on the way out of the door. Hey, if it makes her day a little brighter, I would give her a stack of them! But she was happy with her one little stolen plate and they all thanked me like I had just given them all a massage and pedicure. While they were eating I chatted with the nurse that had brought them and told her that my father's cousin had been sent to a certain rehabilitation center and asked if she knew anything about that particular place. She said it was a great place and was where they sent their own residents for re hab. That made me feel better about Frances being in her new temporary home.

Men walked on the Moon forty years ago... and my co worker and cousin are making just as great an achievement every day.

God has blessed them both and made my life richer just being able to witness them healing and getting stronger every day. They both could not have impressed me more if they had walked on the Moon themselves.

The inspiration these two women have exuded has shown me that landing on the Moon and making a miraculous recovery from a devastating downfall can be just as amazing and much more satisfying.

A Couple of Updates

My father's cousin , Frances was moved to a rehab center this past week. After open heart surgery and two other major surgeries in less than a week... she is amazing! So full of life and so upbeat. The rehab is close enough to my house that I can go visit her in less than thirty minutes. My sister went the other day and took this picture. I am so glad that she has come through all that has been thrown her way. Sometimes when people are getting older they seem to give up in the face of adversity. She seems to rise to each challenge and has a positive attitude each step of the way. I certainly hope that I have a lot of her genes in me! I have been too busy with my own things to go and see her, but am going this week to see her and visit "a spell" as she would most probably say.

My young co worker that is in the Sheperd Center is going to be released on the 25th. She then begins a six month out patient therapy five days a week at the Sheperd Center. Her aunt sent out an email that broke my heart and made me say an immediate prayer to God for my three healthy kids. Although my friend is 21...Frances will most probably make a full recovery before my co worker does.

Not to downplay the wonderful progress that she has made...just that people at work don't realize the extent of what a brain injury can do and how it can be a daily struggle just to get through the rigorous physical therapy when your brain is not working to it's full capacity.

Oh, people at work ask how she is and want updates. But what my FRIEND wants is to be visited. Every one has an excuse for not going. If it was any other employee that had been in a car wreck...my friend who is sitting now in a wheelchair would have been the first person to go and visit them..and not just once but most probably every day.

I think that they feel like since she has made it this far she must be "OKAY" and will just wait to give her a hug when she comes back to work. I am no doctor, but I can tell you that if you wait to give her a hug when she walks through our door at work, you will be waiting one to two years.

If you visit her once you may not notice the change so dramatically. If you visit her like I have you notice the inconsistencies and sometimes the more you visit the more your heart breaks. I have three kids that I love more than life and if any one of them were in this situation, I would be a basket case.

I know I am older and that I work with mainly youngsters...but this is a wake up call. My friend is a youngster as well and this could happen to any person at any given time. Just a random freak of events that have altered this girl's life in a huge and catastrophic way.

It's always some excuse or reason.

My own life is in a mess right now, but to go see this girl is not a chore. It is an act that makes me feel blessed, makes me see the total picture of how lucky I have been in life.

My seventeen year old son wants to go with me and Massey tomorrow to see her. That should give her brain a good workout...it does for me. My friend , in some of her wandering talk has mentioned (several times) how she just had to have a Sham Wow. I guess she was watching TV late at night in the hospital and the infomercial has just stuck with her. She has talked about the Sham Wow every time I have been to see her. Massey got her one the last time we went to Walmart and has it all wrapped up in pink and purple tissue paper with a ribbon. We are taking it to her tomorrow along with a hot dog from the Varsity .

I am printing off an email that her aunt sent and posting it on the wall at work. If that doesn't get them up there to see her...they must just be heartless, not young and unaware of the definition of friendship as I have been assuming.

Yes this girl is better.

Yes she is improving.

Yes it will be at least two years before she has made it to the point of recovery...and only then will we know how much of our old friend we will have back.

At least we still have her.

Fireworks !!

Just walked in the door from work and SHOULD be making my macaroni and cheese, potato salad and guacamole for my son's birthday party tomorrow, but here I sit and blog!



Sometimes I think blogging makes me more relaxed than anything and I need it tonight.



It was busy as all get out at work. I knew it would be. Even thought the 4th is a much slower night for us, our restaurant sits on a hill that is perfect for viewing the city fireworks and you don't have to sit in an hour long traffic jam to get home. We have a great dinner crowd, lots of regulars and everyone eats early so they can be on our lawn in time to catch the big show.



We have people that don't even eat with us setting up lawn chairs and claiming a spot. The front porch is covered with families and couples and even the single person out to enjoy the moment.



I had one of my regulars come in tonight...husband , wife and two precious little girls. One of the little girls is a "Chatter" let me tell you. If you talk to her for three minutes you know everything that has happened in her small life in the past week...in detail.



Her younger sister is a complete opposite. She is as serious as a stroke. Very dramatic and precise with every word that comes out of that sweet little, continuously contemplating expression on her face.



Her parents I can have drinks ready for (with limes and lemons) appetizers ordered and the cherries for the girls ready to go before they sit down.



They spend a lot of money in our store...they are excellent tippers (Tippin Christians) as they call themselves...sometimes I think people come in after church and think "Dang...in this economy, tithing is KILLING me." And guess who suffers? That would be me.



Our loyal guests are the people that keep us in business and me with a job. They expect good service (as they most certainly should) and we have dropped the ball a few times. Servers that are new, or one or two that just seem to be stupid have waited on them when I wasn't there. It's happened with other regulars of mine.



Not to brag (well maybe just a little, it was a rough night) my regulars ask for me because I know before they sit down what they most probably want to drink, how they will order and what extra sauces or condiments they may need. A few of the dumber servers consider that type of table a pain, when it is really the servers fault for not listening correctly or ordering their food correctly. THAT is a servers job and I feel pretty good about the way I carry out my job. Granted I am just a 'waitress'..but I think I am a pretty good stinkin waitress. Obviously all my regulars think so or else they all feel sorry for a fifty year old woman still waiting tables after 31 years.



Either way , I am glad I have people that come in and want for me to wait on them. I truly get a buzz when I make their meal go smoothly and make them glad they chose us to eat with that day...it's a boost to me mentally AND financially. A win win situation.



I scratch their back and they pay for the heating pad I have recently bought for mine.



I saw the mom and daughters in the restroom before they got seated and was joking around with the mom .



I came out and they were being seated at my table. JACKPOT. Always easy for me to wait on, I know theirs likes and dislikes, I could order FOR them some nights and always enjoy seeing this world of four that these 2 girls are lucky enough to grow up in. They are joined often by family and friends, but these four know they are a loving and stable microcosm.



The husband commented on how glad they were to have me be their server and asked immediately how much weight I had lost. I kinda felt embarrassed...I sure as heck haven't being doing "Nutri System" ... actually I feel more like I am being pulled along in life by "Mighty Putty."



They asked if I was sick and I didn't want them rushing to give blood so I told them of our current circumstances and said ...as I truly feel, that it will get better and that we will be okay.



They left as the fireworks started, forgetting a to go box that I took to the door. As the older "Chatty" daughter told me, if you go out the door straight and turn like this...our chairs are right there."



I stuck their bill in my pocket and didn't even look at it for over an hour because I knew they always tipped me good ... it was a given.



When I opened the check presenter, there was a note stuck to a $100.00 personal check that read "Kelly, we'll continue to keep you and your family in our prayers! God is Large and in Charge and he will take care of you."



I was humbled.



They even left me a $10.00 tip on their credit card.



A few years ago when we had another set back, this family helped me out as well. My restaurant knew my husband had been laid off and chose my family to help out at Christmas. These regulars contributed and selflessly made our Christmas one of the best.



I know that this time when things work out okay I will pay these people back. What goes around comes around...and surely I am reaching the 360 mark.



I will pay back my siblings that have helped us out so tremendously, I will pay back my regulars that have helped over and beyond the call (at least my siblings are blood relations and I can play the "I'm the youngest" card.)



This man is a realtor in Fayette County. If you want a house sold...call him, my sister did and sold her house that had been on the market for over two years in a matter of weeks.



The point is, what goes around...comes around.



It came around to me tonight in Fireworks. My son has his birthday party tomorrow (the big 17) and I felt guilty for taking the day off.



Now I can enjoy the day, not feel the crunch of losing a shift at work and know that maybe it WILL be okay.

Thanks to family and friends...it truly will be okay.

I promise to each and every person that has prayed for us, helped us and encouraged us that I WILL pay you back AND pay it forward as well.

I am humbled and thankful. I am a very lucky person.

The fireworks went off at work, but the explosion I feel in my soul is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced in my life.

Why Did I Sleep So Late?

It is 1:36 AM and here I am typing on my blog. WHY DID I SLEEP SO LATE TODAY? It felt soooo good at the time, but it is coming back to bite me as I type in the wee hours of the morning.

I'll just rant about a couple of items and maybe getting it off my chest(not that my chest has much to spare) will drain me enough to get a good four hours of shut eye.

Went to my first AA meeting tonight with my two younger kids. A dear friend of mine celebrated their 20th year of sobriety tonight and we went to show our love, support and admiration for this great accomplishment.

It was a moving and eye opening couple of hours.

Thank God it was an "Eatin Meetin". The food was great and I wanted to go back for seconds but didn't want them referring me to "Over Eaters Anonymous". I had my plate piled high on the first run through and settled on eating my kids leftovers.

The stories were heartbreaking, inspirational and extremely motivational. These people have a bond that is close and comfortable...something EVERY person can learn from. To have a support group that understands and wants to help you unconditionally.

HEY!! My kids even liked it...it may help them down the road one day, but I know that it made an impact THIS day and that is extremely important for teens especially...given the environment and peer pressure placed upon them every day.

Moving on...cause I promised myself to be in bed by 2:15 to get that 4 to 5 hour nap!

I am, as you know a "Chatty Cathy" on various websites, groups and venues. What is upsetting me is the almost racist, negative anti support of our "President".

Although I do tend to lean to the left as my husband leans towards the right...when a president is in the White House...he is supported by us both. This is a man the COUNTRY has elected...he didn't win American Idol or get the most "Text's". Millions and millions of people chose him to be our leader...and now he is JUST that! How can an American not be proud of a chosen leader of the greatest nation in the world?

If you wish him to fail, you are wishing the nation to fail. He has said he won't always be right and will have to try different strategies if ones implemented fail. In other words, he is saying he is human, he is not infallible...but I sincerely think he wants to make this country a better place for us all...and are WE better equipped to make the decisions that I am sure he struggles with every waking hour...or are we going to at least give him our support and give him a chance before crucifying or criticizing him?

For eight years I supported "W" as my president...he was the leader of my country and until the last few months had my total support as an American. But to bash, ridicule and make fun of a man not in office even 100 days is a bit extreme for my likes.

YES...he will make mistakes, but let us wait and see if he can admit and correct them before we begin throwing stones or calling names.

IS ANYONE PERFECT?

Do any of you truly think you could do a better job, given the immense and overwhelming problems that he has inheirited and been brave enough to take on for the next four years....talk about getting MY rest tonight...GOD BLESS THE PRESIDENT AND GUIDE HIM TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

It can be a DEM or it can be a REPUB...as long as they are in control of my nation, I will respect them for the immense task and job they have and be grateful that I live in the United States of America.

"THAT'S"... Nice !!

That was the favorite saying of one of my dearest friends that I worked with over ten years ago.

A yankee through and through (she grew up with Amy Fisher...Big Joey Butafucco's ex) on Long Island.

We struck an immediate bond...we were both smart ass and full of ourselves.

We virtually RAN the restaurant that we both worked for...everyone else was in awe of us and cowered to our every request or demand. Of course we were the only two with any kind of experience or know how when it came to serving the public.

I was old enough to be her mother, but young spirited enough to be her best friend.

She took care of my youngest two kids so often that I worried they would begin to call "Her" Mom.

They both still remember her because at the time her sister was battling cancer and they had never seen a bald headed woman before (they both still talk about it).

She always longed to be a mother.

When she became pregnant (OOPS) out of wedlock..she was tickled to death.

She didn't mind her circumstances..she embraced her good fortune of being blessed with a child.

She moved back to New York with her parents...grandkid in tow, and I missed her terribly, but was so glad she had accepting and loving parents to help her on her way into the marvelous and trying experience of raising a child on your own.

We kept in touch, although sporadically, but the bond has held throught the years...THAT is why it is called a friendship.

Webster decribes a friend as " A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause: a comrade."

That is exactly what we are..."One who supports, sympathizes with...To befriend".

We are hundreds and hundreds of miles apart...talk rarely on the phone...but when we do the years disappear, it all comes back in a simple "Hello..It's me".

She has gone on to marry, have more children and achieved the dream she always wanted.

It hasn't been easy...nothing worth having ever is.

But I am proud of my girl, proud of my friend and so lucky to have had her come into my life.

Recently she has come swooping to my defense on a stupid classmates site that a former ...HUH how should I phrase it...PSYCHO has belittled and outright lied about me , my sister (OOHHH...That's a BAD) and totally ruined a once great site for friends to re connect and relish the past.

TAG!!! She is it now...taking all the brunt and "viscous" attacks from my cyber stalker(my stalker is a terrible speller).

WHAT A FRIEND!!

To me...that is the meaning of a true friend.

Literally YEARS can pass...but it doesn't matter.

A FRIEND IS A FRIEND IS A FRIEND..FOREVER.

That is the great thing about having a friend, you can count on them, they will always love you. Miles or time do not matter, what matters is that you love that person and they will always love you right back.

Now that this whole facebook, twitter, email, myspace phenom has occurred...I feel closer to her today...being hundreds of miles away, than I did nine years ago when I actually had to pick up the phone.

I am not sure what that says about our society as a whole...but it keeps me in touch easily with a dear friend and seems to bring us closer with every click of the mouse.

I have many friends..I am lucky in that respect.

I just want to point out how important it is to keep the bond, and remember that Webster also calls "friendly" ..Warm and comforting.

Those are two words that describe my YANKEE friend completely.

She is amazing...I always knew she would be....and her being a staunch "DEM" doesn't hurt either.

Just a shout out to you, my "Friend"... Thank you for loving me as much as I love you!

Making My Rounds...

After I got off of work today, I picked up my daughter's friend and brought her to my house to work on their science project.

After dropping her by her house, my daughter and my youngest son and I hit the highway to downtown Atlanta.

I am the trainer for the restaurant that I work at, and one of my most recent trainees is a girl of 18 or 19.

Her father (only a few years my senior) had a massive stroke on Saturday night. He was pronounced brain dead last night and is being kept alive to harvest his organs. I applaud this decision by the family and it is a wonderful thing that they are doing for so many others in their own time of despair and grief.

All the employees and regulars at the restaurant signed a card for this young girl, and my kids and I took it up to the hospital.

It brought back many memories for me of the time in the hospital with my own father in a very similar situation.

I was relieved to see a tremendous showing of friends and relatives. The family was being tended to by at least twenty people in the ICU waiting room.

She seems to be holding up well...as well as can be expected when you are in total shock and despair AND losing your father.

I wrote her a rather lengthy note on the back of the card (all my notes seem to be lengthy) because I can identify with her situation so closely.

My heart just breaks for her and her entire family. Only time (a LONG LONG time) will eventually start to heal her pain.

We will all be there for her at work, and I have told her she can call on me day or night...either to talk or listen...what ever she wants or needs.

Then my little entourage headed to another hospital in Atlanta where a dear sweet customer has just had open heart surgery for six by passes.

I wouldn't dare guess her age, but she is retired and a fixture in our restaurant for lunch MANY days of the week.

She was sitting in a chair eating her dinner and looked absolutely marvelous for an older woman coming out of a major heart surgery.

She seemed in good spirits and loved my two kids coming to see her as well.

We chatted briefly and I told her I would come back on Wednesday when I didn't have to be at work til 4PM.

It makes me realize that I am an extremely lucky woman.

I have had many tragedies in my life, but I have had even more blessings and feel grateful to have teenagers that will tromp around the city with me to let others in need of company know that they have friends that are not only thinking of them, but take time to come visit, even if for a short time.

I am am firm believer in "What comes around goes around".

It saddened me to see a family watching their loved one being kept alive by machines, and it lifted me up to see an older woman improving so quickly after such a major trauma.

Life goes on, the pages turn...lessons are learned...battles are fought, won and lost.

Treat every day on this earth with the respect that it deserves.

Sometimes you will be let down and sometimes you will be uplifted.

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW !!


Til next time.. A reflective feeling COTTON

"HEARDDD"!!!

One of my favorite co workers is a cook at the restaurant.

When he is not in the line of fire (AKA) off the clock, he is a mild mannered and soft spoken man.

When he is "on the clock" he is a mad man...a seemingly possessed human that feels the weight of his position commands him to be "ON" at all times.

It rattles him if you speak to him directly, rather than going through the expo..(the person in the window that expedites the food and should be the only one talking to the cooks).

He has more quips, quotes and euphemisms for his job than I have ever heard in my thirty years of being a server.

Sometimes, even I have a hard time making a connection with the point he is trying to make, while flipping 30 steaks on the grill, as the orders keep ticking through on the computer that is spitting out tickets by the second .

Two of his favorite sayings are "No Jokes" and "All kidding aside".

He came out of the kitchen tonight to clock out from his shift.

His back, which I patted as he walked by was soaked with sweat ( it is usually about 94 degrees in the kitchen).

I told him as he walked by..."Let me tell you just an observation that I have made (all kidding aside)."

When he is on the line...he is ALL business.

I cannot think of ANYONE that is more less LIKELY TO TELL A JOKE OR TO BE KIDDING ABOUT ANYTHING WORK RELATED THAN HIM !!!!

I told him that it isn't like he is standing in the back of the kitchen making funny hats out of newspaper or saying "pull my thumb" or "watch THIS trick"!!!

We all know that he is STRICTLY professional and strictly there to do HIS job.

I worry that we may kill him with out petty requests (usually trying to cover up our OWN mistakes) or that he may burst open at the seams with our demands (from the customers).

Maybe he is just trying to rein all of us servers in, to remind us of what a hard and challenging job he has... or maybe he is just trying to save his own sanity in a brutally hard and fast paced job.

But whichever it is ...I feel proud to have him as a fellow employee, and feel lucky that he takes my observations with the intent that they are given.

"NO JOKES" ...."ALL KIDDING ASIDE"...

He is a person that takes his job seriously, does his job deliberately and conscientiously...and without his crazy, manic and wild demeanor... my job would just be a PURE hell.

All kidding aside.... THANK YOU RANDY !!!

One of The Total Pleasures in My Life...Reese

I have been watching this baby since she was nine months old. Actually my daughter is the "babysitter", but I have been there every step of the way. When she first came to my house, she was only starting to crawl. Now, at over two years of age...she has crawled her way into our lives and into our hearts.

She is HANDS DOWN the smartest and most polite child I have ever encountered. At the tender age of two, she covers her mouth when she coughs, thanks you when you give her anything, and always uses the word "PLEASE" when asking for anything. (I wish my sixteen year old had the same qualities).

She knows all of her colors, knows sign language, and knows how to make you love her without any effort on her part at all.

Her mother has grown so tremendously, and has become the mother that I hope I have been to my own kids.

At the ripe age of two, she always says "please" always says "thank you' and always fills your heart with a warmth that is few and far between with a child her age.

She is so wise beyond her years that it totally amazes me with her complete understanding of social skills, and knowledge of etiquette.

She is a complete and total joy to have in our house, and has charmed the pants off of every male in our household.

She is a girl who is destined to be a great woman, and will go on to not only make her mark, but probably leave skid marks in her path along the way.

She can count in Spanish, and she count on me, for being there ANY TIME she may need me or my family.

She has unknowingly wormed her way into our lives, and I have never been more proud to have this toddler in my life.

Her mom has met an exceptional man, one that loves this little girl as his own...and she loves him right back just as much.

He has kids of his own, and Reese has slipped right into the mix as if she has always been there.

I am so extremely excited for this new found love for her mother...she could have never been luckier than to find this new "baby daddy".

I am so excited that they are becoming a unit, becoming a family, and starting to begin a new life together.

My "Little 'Reese' of Heaven" has finally come into her own...her own family and her own place to learn, grow and flourish.

When they marry and move, I will miss her so much that I am sure I will ache with the fact that she won't be staying with me anymore.

But I will be filled with the comfort of knowing that my "little Reese of Heaven" is having the best life she can have, and the best parents she could ever hope for.

Sarah Palin..."LOOK OUT"....my Reese will make you look like Rosanne Barr !!!

The Realities and Fantasies of Life

I think that I am going to have to start carrying around a notebook so that I can jot down the hundreds of things that come to my mind.

My most recent thought is of a recipe that a dear friend of mine gave me.

I love recipes and always want to try new dishes.

My friend told me that she had found a wonderful new dish of pasta salad.

BABY..I love me some pasta and I LOVE me some salads.

She found it on the internet and told me she would bring me some to work the next day.

The next day...she brought a bowl of bow tie pasta that looked so forsaken and lost ...just waiting for someone to come to it's rescue.

She informed me that it called for a cup and a 1/2 of mayo (she had substituted low fat mayo "YUCK" ) and said that red bell peppers were too expensive to buy.

She also said that it was to have green onions diced and added..but she had left them out. Also it was to have grape tomatoes added, but they were also too expensive to purchase. "HELLO..it's called a recipe for a reason"!!

The result was a bowl of noodles mixed in low fat mayo and it was at the LEAST...unappealing and bland.

Of course this particular friend relies on me for all of her "SNACKS" when I work with her... and after getting the "REAL" recipe...it was absolutely delicious and a big favorite of all of my co workers.

Maybe they know me too well. Maybe they know that I love to cook and feed the masses.

Maybe they are just "Playing Dumb" knowing that I will bring in a dish that they will all fight over and snicker behind my back..."She ain't got a CLUE that we like her cooking".

I do it every time that I work a day shift.
I went into work today and the manager sifted through my bags and said "What did Cotton bring us today"

I am not sure what my mission is on this earth. Is it to raise my family, or is it to raise an entire company?

I love my family dearly, but I rely on my job to keep the money flowing.

Sometimes I think that the two are intertwined ... I have been at my current job for ten years and sometimes think that THEY are my family as well.

I actually DO love my job (which is rare these days ) and they compensate me wonderfully.


I care about, love and respect everyone that I work with, and I honestly think that is why they treat me so well and that is the reason that I continue to work for them.

To be "LOVED" is a great thing.

Not only am I loved by my family, I am loved by the people that I work with.

Let's look at it this way.. I could be "super sizing " it at a drive through or just be hoping to.

I am blessed, my family is too.

What more could an American hope for?
A better recipe than the American Dream.... I DON"T THINK SO!!!
...What better recipe for life could we all have ???

YOU TELL ME!!!

I Am At Your "Beck" and Call

My sister... my mentor...my saving salvation in my life...had been in dire need of help. Her husband had open heart surgery, out of work for six months total...from the time he got sick, was finally diagnosed and till he is released from the doctors care. The entire time this has been going on...two amazing friends have saved my sister time and time again. Actually they were her friends to begin with, but now I consider them mine as well. The wife went to the high school that my sister taught at....also the school my college room mate went to. The husband (I don't know where he went to school...I just know he came with the package of friendship). They live across the street from my sister. They have brought meals, they have visited at the hospital, they have visited since Harvey came home...They have been there "Literally" EVERY step of the way. They also attend the same church as my sister (I tend to home school my kids in religion). They organized for love offerings to be taken at the church to help my sister in the one way she needed most...financially.It was an amazing outpouring of love that the church showed...and one that was RIGHT ON TIME. Beside that, they are incredibly funny people (MY KIND OF PEOPLE). I thought that I was pretty funny until I heard some of their stories. They are genuine, they are honest...and they are true Christians and true friends. They stepped in and totally SAVED my sister when I couldn't. They took a burden off of her that was entirely overwhelming her and distracting her from the medical issues at hand. They will FOREVER be my heroes (and my sister's)....and they will always be considered some of my most valued friends and acquaintances. Friendship is a marvelous "PERK" to have in your life...and one not to be taken lightly or for granted. I value my friends, they are the foundation of a secure and stabilized life. They are your safety net, they are your back up....and they ALWAYS have your back. It would be a sad existence to live without knowing that you had people that love you so much...that they would , and DO help you in any spot, situation, or time of need. My sister is such a GOOD person that she has people falling over backwards to help her. And if the situation was reversed...she would be (and has quite often) the first person to lend a hand or help in any way that she could. But I want to express my gratitude to these two "ANGELS" that have pulled my sister through, and done it with "AMAZING GRACE".......How sweet is THAT sound? To my sister...and me....it is a beautiful melody...and a memory for a lifetime...Thanks Julie and Danny...(sorry that I used your names...but you deserve it) and know that you both mean the world to me, Cin, and the bills that you got paid by your selfless acts of love and friendship. Come on over next time we get together...and I will be the first to hug your necks, and the first to tell you how much I love you. Thanks for loving my sister...But she makes it easy to love her, doesn't she? I love you both, and just wanted to let you know how much you mean to my sister...and to me! God bless you both, as you have so richly blessed my sister. Till next time...COTTON

PFC "Meathead"

Geez, I hope he is still a Private! If he isn't, he needs to tell me so I can upgrade his rank!... One of my coworkers actually signed up to join our armed forces, with all expectations of being shipped overseas to help in the fight. If ole Bin Laden knew what kind of terror was on the way to find him , he would pick up his skirt and start running like a little girl. We called him "Meathead" at work, and a few other names as well. He is a big "BOOB" of a guy...is that an oxymoron? He is the sweetest guy you will ever meet...he is as huge as a double wide trailer, and barely fit into the extra large shirts that we gave him for work. He always looked like the Incredible HULK, when he was bursting out of his shirt, changing into his green self. When he came home from boot camp, he had slimmed down, and looked TERRIFIC! He is the epitome of a soldier..takes direction well, and is extremely disciplined. I have been writing to him, and my twelve year old daughter has been writing him as well. I totally admire him for his dedication , bravery and commitment to standing up for our country and it's citizens. I worry about him, like I would about any of my own children being sent into harm's way. He is a stand up guy; and with a head as large as his, I have repeatedly told him to keep that big noggin down, and be careful. So another one of my dear friends is going to be shipped overseas... to a country that is TOTAL NUTS, full of people that are angry at us Americans, and just ANGRY in general. I pray for him daily, as I do for all the men and women going over there... they are ALL heroes in my book, and the reason that we get to live such a privileged and generous life. When I think about him, it makes it so much easier to not gripe about a gallon milk being more expensive than a gallon of gas. I admire and salute this man, friend, and hero. All I can do for him is to pray for him, write him religiously, and always have him in my thoughts....I want all of you that read my blog to do the same. This is a wonderful young man that deserves all of our prayers and blessings... he is essentially saving our way of life...and putting his own in the line of fire...literally. KUDOS to you, big guy, and know that I have started a world wide network of people that will think of you and have you in their prayers at night.... You are ALWAYS in mine, and THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! It is because of great Americans like you, that Americans like me can sleep at night, and know that we are protected by the BEST... Our loyal and dedicated soldiers... GOD BLESS YOU ALL...and come home soon, and safely! Till next time...COTTON

Joel With The Soul

There is a dear friend of mine, that used to be my manager, but has gotten a promotion and has also flown our little coop. He is probably the most attuned, conscientious and dedicated person that I have ever met. Not to mention he is the cutest "little boy" I have ever met. When I started with my company, he was a cook...one of the best. He is always fired up, boosting the troops, egging us on and inspiring us every step of the way. He is a "corporate" dream come true. I miss and think of him every time that I walk through the door at work. He is ALWAYS positive, always upbeat... and always an inspiration to every person that he comes in contact with. Unfortunately he has moved on to a restaurant that doesn't appreciate him to his full potential. In my thirty years of being a server, I have NEVER EVER met a more dedicated and inspired manager. Obviously in downtown Atlanta, they are either extremely lazy or extremely stupid. He is the epitome of excellence in a leader, manager and boss. He has come into his position the hard way... through the ranks. We can only hope that he can somehow find his way back to us, back to the people that love and admire him... and appreciate him. He is missed on a daily basis, and talked about every time that one of his "little Quotes" is spoken. "Pick it up, don't pass it up " is one of his big ones, about picking up the floor of the restaurant. When my brother in law had open heart surgery; the nurse that took us back to see him was walking down the hall of the surgery floor with us in tow... and there was a scrap of duct tape on the floor.. she knelt down to pick it up, and I just wanted to say to her "Don't pass it up, pick it up" ...but obviously my manager had gotten to her already! It is the small things like this that not only get the point across, but make the difference in perception from the guest's point of view of our restaurant. I am hoping that he will come back home to us, to inspire and encourage us even more.The store that he is currently at is obviously filled with idiots; not knowing what a mountain of knowledge, experience and wealth of information he has to share with them... to not only help the store, but help them as well. COME BACK SOON... We still love you, and live by your rules everyday (at least the smart ones do)... the others will be gone by the time you get back !!! TILL LATER....COTTON

The "English"man

Back to the Ole workplace for this blog. When I started working for my company ten years ago, my now manager was the "day" cook. Lunches went so smoothly, special requests always granted. I'll be honest, I hated to lose him to management...he was SO good at what he did, and NEVER cracked under the pressure, but seemed to thrive on the challenge. He has a voice that reminds me of the way gravel feels on your bare feet the first Spring day that you go barefoot. He is a single father now... many moons down the road of life. I always thought he was so cute, with his brash voice and totally arrogant attitude. In the ten years he has been with our company, he has risen through the ranks (which ain't easy in OUR world) gone on to other stores, and once again come home to the best restaurant in the world. His voice can seem like nails clawing down a chalkboard, but his heart is as big as the Pacific Ocean. He started out in management as a kitchen manager... one that watches the dimes and nickels of the operation. You would think that he was SCROOGE, the way he watched and controlled the food costs... that is probably the first thing the company loved him for. After being kitchen manager for a few years, and perfecting his Spanish speaking skills, he came on out front to join us. Always business, always rallying the troops instead of beating them down... if he was there, he was in charge and knew what needed to be done, and saw that it was. He left our store for a brief period, but is back... minus a wife, but with his little "mini me" of a daughter. She is adorable, just as she adores her Dad (smart girl). She is a carbon copy of him... down to the frames of her glasses. When my daughter had to get glasses, she wanted the ones that his daughter, and he had. We are glad ole "VELVET" throat is back in our midst, and back where he belongs...with people that love and respect him, and are lucky enough to be able to call him their friend. He has come a long way in the ten years that I have known him, been through some tough times, but has survived, and is luckily back with his family of us eclectic freaks that we call our LHORN family. HEY! Nobody's family is perfect...but after thirty years in this industry, I have never met a finer bunch of folks (with a few oddballs thrown in just to keep it fun). Till next time COTTON