Back From The Brink

           Every year or two I do the same thing, knowing full well it isn't going to end well for me.

(pun intended)

I work hard and I play hard.

I always have.

We finally moved into our forever home  here in Orlando about nine months ago.

I simply love it.

It screams 'Me'

I hit the ground(s) running and haven't stopped. I do all the yard work and wouldn't have it any other way. I appreciate the offer of help but am so meticulous when it comes to yard work, I get on their nerves.

Even more....

If you can believe that!!

I always dress to work in the yard just like I am dressed in the first picture of me above, in the lime green top and blue shorts.

Trust me, I also had on flip flops.

I don't mind working in the heat, but I gotta be as comfy and cool as possible...I still suffer from hot flashes.

I don't wear gloves, I just rip the weeds out or toss away the clippings by hand to be raked up later.

I've tried wearing work boots, hats and gardening gloves.

It's a miserably hot outfit to me.

I already wear one of those when I'm on the clock at work.

I want to be comfy at home.

Call me crazy, you won't be the first... or last.

It has been raining like crazy and my yards are blooming and booming like they're on herbal growth hormone.

I usually work four days a week, sometimes five.

On my three days off, I spend two of them doing the front back and both side yards.

On the days I work

I go to work around ten AM, get home around four.

I putz around in the house, feed and water the dogs and head straight out to our wonderful screened in  porch, or as they call it here, lanai.

(still not used to that word)

It has a pergola off the porch, and is an awesome place to chill as well.

How can you not  have a cocktail or two after a hard days' work?

I sit out there and write friends and family or blog on my iPad until eleven or so. Then I go to bed, get up...shower, rinse and repeat.

It's the yard days that got me.

I started feeling puny last Thursday after getting home from work and by Saturday after work felt pretty much like do-do.

By Sunday morning I knew I wasn't getting out of bed any time soon. Thank goodness I was off until Wednesday.

I'd be fine and dandy by then!

Then like an idiot, while scrolling through my phone while resting in bed, I see a Monday lunch shift up for grabs on our employee site.

My daughter told me to  not pick the shift up and stay in bed.

But an opening shift?!  I'd go in at ten thirty, be cut by one and back home in bed before two.

I took it!

By the time Monday morning rolled around, I felt like the dude in a black shroud with a sickle was close by, just waiting for me to try and get out of bed.

I got up and went in anyway...Mondays were always slow.

When am I going to learn?

I got to work, the bartender wasn't there yet, and our manager was setting the bar up. The first table walked in right before we opened. I had five tables going before the next server got there at 11:15. Then a ten top walked in. Then a six top. Then another six top. Then lucky for us, just a five top.

Oops, then another five top followed by two tables of four.

It was insanity and the insanity didn't stop until well after three o'clock. I was sweating like Trump at the Apollo Theatre in Harlem.

My sinuses were killing me, I had a fever, It sounded like a blender was going off in my chest when I inhaled and exhaled and my both ears were stopped up. My equilibrium was off and so was my timing.

I was a wreck but plowed ahead.

I apologized a lot and tried to stand as far away from the tables as possible so they couldn't see when the (luckily) clear snot began to trickle out of my nostrils.

I knew I wasn't contagious but really didn't think I should even bring up the fact that I didn't feel well.

I felt like collapsing.

But I didn't.

When my manager finally told me I was cut, I told them if they needed me I'd be on the floor in the dish pit.

(trust me, it's not a place to lay down)

Guess what time I clocked out from my little  Monday opening shift?

5:35 PM.

You usually sell around $300 on a Monday opening shift. 

I sold almost $1100.00 and by the Grace of God made almost $250.00 in tips.

I fell into bed around six on Monday night and didn't get out of it until Wednesday morning.

Massey brought me home day time and night time medicine when she got home from work and I gobbled it up. I've been taking it every four hours since then.

Tim let me vegetate and slept in the spare bedroom Monday and Tuesday.

Ziggy went with him...

that's how bad I looked, felt and sounded.

We had a bad storm blow across the lake on Tuesday morning, knocking out the cable, Internet and Wifi before noon.  I just stayed in bed, slept and stared at the wall while I was awake, then flipped and stared at the other wall after I woke up again.

The cable, Wifi and Internet stayed off until Wednesday evening.

It was kinda nice being so quiet inside the house that I could hear the crickets and frogs outside the house.

I went into work today feeling a little shaky but 99.9% better.

I'm not sure why I refuse to take better care of myself, but think I'm finally catching on at the tender age of almost sixty.

I got on the scale this morning after getting out of the shower and found that I'm back down to a ninety eight pound weakling.

I'll be back to  triple digits in no time!

You learn from mistakes. You'd better, especially at my age.

I took a licking but that clock's still ticking.

I wanna enjoy the home stretch as long as I can.

Everyone was so nice to me while I was feeling poorly. My family was, my neighbors were and all checked in to see if I needed anything. My managers and coworkers were super supportive as I bumbled my way through that horrifically long (controlled chaos of a) lunch shift.

Even when I'm sick, I'm blessed!

Till next time...COTTON

I'm Good...

Got up today and got into action. I cooked a full fledged dinner and had it simmering on the stove when Tim left to pick up Massey from school. I hopped on my Johnny Dear and cut my front yard my neighbor's side yard and weed eated both.

I jumped into the shower but was still picking grass out of my hair when I got to work. It has been slow the last two nights so I KNEW I would bank tonight.

Didn't happen. I was freaking by seven thirty. I had three checks hitting my bank account tomorrow and thought I  KNEW I could cover them.

Note to self: Tim is wise NOT to have a joint account with me.

My last three tables made it happen. Two guys left me a phat tip, had another table that tipped me over 30% and my last table put me in the black (for now.)

Had a table of a family. The mom and daughter got there first, waiting on the son and father. When the dad sat down I noticed he was handing out printed google maps to each of the kids. When I was in the kitchen another server said "I think the kids at your table are crying."

Yes they were. I know the family although they don't really know me. Our kids have gone to school together for 12 years but they live in an upscale subdivision that I dreamt we one day would. They know me because I am a waitress and they eat out a lot.

After serving them and trying to avoid looking into their teens puffy eyes the Dad asked for the check. When he handed me his card he said his kids were worried that I thought they were abusive parents when in fact he had just told them he got a promotion and the family was moving....pretty far away.

The daughter was distraught so I asked her what year she was in high school? She was a senior but her Dad interjected that they wouldn't be moving until she graduated. I told her "Heck you will be away at college and they will be visiting you more than YOU want!"

So like the big mouth I am I told the kids "They could have brought you here to tell you your Dad just lost his job and you were all moving into the Motel Six because underneath the bridge at Turner Field was full up!

Tim lost his job two years ago and we went from a six figure family to a family living off of the kindness of others and welfare at one point.

Life is always a perspective and always taken for granted in my book.

My last two tables left me a phat tip and once again I will be in the black...for now.

But that is all that matters. I struggle every day but as long as I struggle and God sees me trying, it will be okay.

The yard is cut, my checks are covered and I will wake up tomorrow and do it all again.

As God as my witness...I will laugh at these slim picking days years from now but always be grateful for how I made it through them.

Doing it again tomorrow and for as long as the Good Lord allows.

I'm Good...wouldn't trade my life, even if it was for  one of the Kardashian's. Beauty fades but resilience shines !!

Til Next time...COTTON

Today is a Gift...That's Why it is called "The Present"

 Went to my cousin's "Circle of Friends" celebration today. There was a memorial service for him after he died suddenly but this was an event for all of his friends from the film industry he had worked with for years and years.

Of course my side kick, Massey went with me and after a harrowing drive of I-85 being shut down in both directions and taking back roads to get back on the interstate we got there...almost two hours late but WE GOT THERE.

 Massey was mesmerized by the film studio. This pic above is a huge jukebox painted on the wall. A door was in the middle of the mural and it killed Massey not to be able to see where the door led.

The next pic is of a huge vault that was built for a movie "The Real McCoy" and I begged Massey to act like she was trying to turn the handle to get in the vault. She dissed my begging but at least let me take her picture next to it.

The celebration was bitter sweet. Such a loss but what a tribute. I saw many friends I haven't seen in years, relatives that I don't see frequently enough and had some kick $%# barbeque. I even ran into people that somehow knew me from my blog.

OMG... (that's Massey/teenspeak)  I have never seen Massey roll her eyes so much in a five minute time frame. One guy came up to me and said he read my blog all the time. He was from Cordele...way down in south Georgia and when I went to introduce Massey, he immediately said he knew who she was. Guess I am reaching the masses with my "Massey" stories!

He said he loved my "John Deere" stories and asked Massey if I was making it all up? She replied "Nope...that's just the way our family is."

There are a lot worse things to be than to be "REAL." I put my family, my life and my feelings out there every time I post and have no regrets.

There was a wonderful display of pictures of my cousin...from early childhood to giving his daughter away at her wedding. There was one framed quote that caught my eye and summed up life totally:

"Yesterday is a memory

Tomorrow is a Promise

Today is a Gift

That is why it's called

The Present."

I feel honored to have been included ...Shad had so many friends that you almost felt like you needed a VIP pass to get in. Tears were shed...God added his own... all day as the rain fell. It hasn't rained in forever, but I think that God paid his own tribute to a wonderful man in his own way, giving us the much needed rain  and a sign from Him that another great human was coming upstairs to join HIS party.

I hope God has a fishing hole. 

Short video below from the slide show...

"Shad...you were one in a million, glad I can say I am related to you."

Till next time...COTTON

HAPPY BIRTHDAY..."Franny"

So today is Frances' birthday!!

The most wonderful new addition to our family. I met her a few years back at the family reunion at my sister's house. This was back when my Dad was still alive and I really don't remember much about her at the reunion. Massey was still pretty young and I had to leave during the reunion to go work the Fall festival at the elementary school
where both my younger kids still attended.

When she first really burst on the scene in my life was when she had a botched medical procedure and had to go to a re hab facility after open heart surgery. Her nieces were worried about her being alone and my sister and I promised them both that we would keep a close eye on her since we were the only relatives living close by.

What a blessing that botched procedure turned out to be!

My sister and I took turns visiting and often met each other in Frances' room at re hab. We grew to know this woman and immediately fell in love with her.

Massey went with me on many trips over and even Zach went a few times.

The stories from Frances' stint in re hab still make me laugh (probably the people in the re hab office not so much) but it was a couple of months of getting to know Frances and finding a new member of the family that we couldn't do without with now.


She has wheedled her way into our hearts and has a special place in our soul.

She makes us laugh and makes us realize what a determined person can do...no matter what your age or condition ...it is all in your mind set, your faith and your willingness to strive and survive.

Frances is one of the most incredible women I have ever met. My whole family has fallen in love with this latest addition to the family tree. We have seen what she is capable of and have all been amazed at what she can do when she sets her mind to it.

She's a pistol.. and she shoots it straight.

When I was having a pity party over losing my job and drowning in debt..she told me "Enough of the negative!" You know what? She was sooo right!

When you're down...don't look down...look UP!

She is a country woman with country values and country morals.

That makes for an exceptional human being in my book and I am sure God has her a penthouse reserved upstairs for when she finally kicks it in 30 years!

She is savvy on the computer and even savvier with her wit. She is a fireball that will put you in your place in a heart beat and will love you like no body's business.

She is one of the reasons that I got off my sorry butt and got back to the real world when I lost my job and thought I was losing my mind.

So she is turning forty today...LOL...LMBO..ROTFL (I'll get back to you ,Frances with all this 'Massey' speak) and I have the incredible honor of knowing, loving and admiring this woman who can jump over hurdles like they are pebbles in the road of life.

She is sharp as a tack and can prick you with that tack when you need it.

She encourages you and slaps you around when you need it.

I really think my Mother is sighing in relief up in Heaven knowing that God sent Frances our way.

Happy Birthday, Frances and "Thank you" for giving ME a gift...the gift of getting to know you and reaping the reward of your years of wisdom and practicality.

You are so dear and special to all of us..."Where the heck WERE you all this time before we met ...Bingo?"

Have a wonderful day and know that our "Leach" family is glad they have finally gotten a matriarch back.

Keep cracking the whip and we'll keep saying "Yes Ma'am!!"

Much love to you...and give yourself a pat on the back...you are an incredible woman and I hope I can someday be half the woman you are.

Much love and big hugs....(the stripper I hired should be there by four, I told him you ate dinner early)

Thanking you for loving ME ....COTTON

Vertical Fetch...No One Said They Were Smart

My two male dogs are more entertaining than circus clowns. There is a tree at the back of the fenced in portion of our yard with a limb that TJ and Zach have broken off but is still attached. The MINUTE my husband starts to walk to the back of the yard...the two males beat him there and sit waiting for him to pull the broken branch down so they can try to finish the job Zach and TJ started.

The bulldog gives it his best shot but obviously has lead pipe inside of him... "Literally." He probably found one in the yard and decided it looked good enough to eat. Remember, this is the dog that ate insulation that fell out of the attic when I brought down Christmas decorations. I saw a piece on the carpet and tried to get to it but his mind was saying "If SHE wants it first it must be good" and scrambled over and snorted it down.

The boxer seems to be made of springs and can easily jump over six feet without trying too hard. They will continue this vertical fetch game for thirty minutes at a time and only stop when they are panting so hard they absolutely HAVE to take a rest. The female boxer barks at them the whole time in "dog speak" seemingly telling them they are both idiots and have no sense of depth perception. I'll have to hand it to Ham (the boxer) he gets pretty close...Charlie (the bulldog) just gets an "A" for effort.

Just thought you might like to see "Dumb and Dumber" in action!

Had another great day...I could get used to this and hope I do!

Stayed up way too late blogging after picking Massey up from Prom and doing laundry ... woke up 30 minutes before work this morning. Thank the Lord for my easy hairdo and the fact that I always get a bath at night. I got to work exactly on time and worked the brunch shift. Now THAT'S some good eating... French Toast, Strawberry pancakes, Eggs Benedict, Spinach Frittata, every kind of Omelet you can imagine and homemade biscuits with gravy, grits and home fried potatoes. It wasn't too busy and I was almost glad after last night's barn burner shift. I got off by 2 and had to be back at 5:30.

I came home and put on some shorts and a bathing suit top...Mr.(slow) Lee's favorite outfit and washed my car and cleaned all the windows. My brake light has been out for months and I decided to attempt replacing it myself. Whadda know??? I'm a mechanic too! One of my driving lights was out too but once I open the hood of a car I tend to get nervous. At least I can open a hood...Tim is a lot of wonderful things but mechanical he is NOT. Remember this is the man that pushed my mower to the neighbor's years ago before I got my riding mower because it wouldn't start and my neighbor told him it was out of gas.

I pulled my car one driveway over ...not Mr. (slow) Lee's way but the other side to ask my next door husband (see previous post) to help me. He fixed me right up (after I went back to Auto Zone and got the right bulb)... I have GOT to stop asking Tim to go to Auto Zone for me. While I was there exchanging the bulb I told the man "For future reference, never listen to my husband when he comes in...I'll just send a hand written note with what I REALLY need."

Case in point: Our hot water heater went out a few years back and after my next door husband fixed it twice he said we needed to get a new one. A good friend of ours who has a handy man type company and has helped us many times, pressure washing our house, cleaning the chimney etc. told Tim to go buy a new water heater and he would come over and install it. When he got there, Tim had hauled the new one up to the third floor ready to hoist it into the attic (what idiot builder puts a hot water heater in an attic?) When our friend got there to install it.... Tim had bought an electric water heater when in fact we had a gas one. I love him anyway and he is a great dad and husband, but couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag if all he had to use was a wrench.

Luckily Tim doesn't read my blog unless I force him to. I won't bring my blog up for a while til this one gets buried by others. I don't mean to hurt his feelings but he will be the first one to tell you the extent of his knowledge about repair work is Flathead vs. Phillips Head.

Car washed, lights fixed. Headed back to work. Had a pleasant night and feel more comfortable with each shift I work.

The owners of my new restaurant know of our situation and have me scheduled for 9 shifts this week. I have people at work asking me if I want to give up shifts but will forge on and get myself ahead while I have this opportunity.

A new job. A great job . Tim starts his new job in the morning with Pepsi/Snapple.

God, family and friends...even strangers have gotten us this far, to the other side. The place I needed and wanted to be.

Enjoy the video of my dogs...I am thinking about "YouTube" for them. I have one even better where they actually sit underneath and howl at the limb above them.

Lovin' life, and for once I will sign off as..."LUCKY LEACH"

The Big Night...For Massey And For Me

It's hard to believe that almost fifteen years ago this same time I was on complete bed rest waiting for Massey to make her entrance into my life.


She came into this world in a BIG way , my placenta rupturing and having an emergency C-section at 4:20 AM...almost three months early.

She was a tiny thing barely 4 pounds and didn't make a peep until she was almost a year old. She was a pensive quiet toddler who came into her own by first grade and hasn't stopped talking or going since.



She has blossomed over the years into a young woman who is not only my favorite daughter but my best friend.

Tonight she went to her first prom (she's already beating my record...I didn't go to any).

My husband came downstairs this morning where I was watching the news on TV to cook breakfast. If things hadn't worked out for us I was sending him to Waffle House to apply...he can cook a mean stinkin' breakfast...home fries and all! I asked what Massey was doing and he said she was upstairs getting ready...for Pete's sake it was 8:30 in the morning!

She has a mass of curly hair that she hates and every one else loves and was upstairs with a straightener smoothing out her locks. Once AGAIN we were blessed...A friend loaned her a dress and she went as another girl's date who had tickets. I gave her $20 to eat with because they were going to Texas Roadhouse and that was the extent of my cost. I decided she needed a corsage and bought her an inexpensive wrist corsage from Publix.

We came home from the grocery store and sat out in the back yard for an hour while I gave her a manicure and a pedicure. Purple polish (of course) to match her dress and she marched back upstairs to work on her Medusa curls one more time.

I had to be at work by 5:30 and all the kids were meeting at 5:00 for pictures so it worked out great for me. I took her over to another guard parent's house where every one was meeting and took a ton of pictures and made this short video.

These wonderful parents had rented a small bus and took the kids to eat at Texas Roadhouse and then on to the prom and back home again. The dad who drove them even had a digital sign flashing above the windshield saying "Congratulations class of 2010, East Coweta High School" or something to that effect.

I gave my girl a kiss and hug, left her smiling and went to work with one minute to spare when I walked through the door at work.

WELCOME TO CHAOS !!

The place was packed (a good thing) and between the usual Saturday night crowd and two Proms on the same night the joint was hopping.

I had six tables before I had been clocked in for five minutes. The next two hours seemed like two days and I made a few mistakes...none that the customers knew about. Just having to have certain drinks transferred to another ticket because I was so overwhelmed and rang them on the wrong ticket. I cashed out one table when I meant to cash out another and had to have it pulled back (a lot of server mumbo jumbo...but basically it means I goofed up.)

Luckily nothing outrageous happened like me having to pay for anything myself and by 7:00 I could breathe again.

Nothing like "trial by fire" to get you learning the ropes. If I could have FOUND a rope around 6:00 I may have put it around my neck.

As usual every one I work with helped me through the crunch and somehow I made great money and walked out the door shaking, tired but SUCCESSFUL!

If I can make it through the shift I just worked...I CAN MAKE IT.

Picked Massey up when the bus rolled back home, dumped her in bed and started this blog.

When I went to the mailbox at home earlier today, I received a card and gift from a relative that has been related to me all my life but who I have only recently met. The card read: "Just think of this as a little time-out in the game...a chance to consider your options, design some new plays. And remember...lots of people are cheering for you. Especially us." These wonderful new found relatives have once again sent me hope and help when I have needed it the most. My life has been humbled and blessed all at the same time.

It is a good day to be a "Leach"... the family I was lucky enough to be born into. Without family, friends and the great God upstairs I hate to think what would have become of me and my family. Instead I am giving Thanks, picking up my girl from her first prom, wiping my brow from a butt kicking at work and feel the strength to do it all again.

The words come back to me that the Neurologist asked my father to say when he was in the hospital before he died from West Nile ... trying to determine his lucidity and awareness.

"Today is a sunny day."

Indeed it is.

Til next time... Continually Grateful COTTON

The Black Hole Seems to Have Light

For the past year I having been sinking...slowly and surely into a black hole.

It started as a mole you might feel was suspicious and need to get checked out.

Then you just think it is nothing and keep on going.

Months down the road the mole turns into a wart that luckily is in a place you can hide from others. A few more months and OMG the wart has hairs growing out of it and you begin to feel disgusted.

Suddenly you feel overwhelmed by the hairy wart but think that if you just keep on hiding it...it may go away.

Finally some low life points out your hairy wart and begins to pluck the hairs out at your own expense...one by one, leaving you with nothing but a wart.

It's still not a good feeling but at least it's just a wart.

Then you find out the wart is not just a wart but a virus that is encompassing your whole life. You feel like you are secure, have had the same job for over 12 years and feel that at least you have that to fall back on.

The next day you wake up and your wart is a land slide blocking you with no other way out.

At first you just lie under the rubble hoping someone will wake you up and tell you it is all a bad dream. Then days later you realize that your worst nightmare has become a reality and you are on your own...literally financially and emotionally.

That is when true friendship and the love of God comes into play.

You've always been a decent person and always helped others...suddenly your true friends show their true colors and WHAM... lift you up with prayers , e mails calls and monetary help.

They send you gifts... they feed your family and take care of your kids.

Yes it is humiliating in the beginning but welcomed in the end.

I still had a job and was keeping our heads above water.

Then the black hole sweeps in and you are lost. The job you had dissolves. All the work you have done for the past 12 years is nothing and you are left with a gape of wonder and a sense of "What the hell happened."

Then your family and your friends kick into overdrive...keeping not only you but your family afloat.

It doesn't pay your mortgage but allows your family to survive and concentrate on MAKING that mortgage.

I got a new job...a job that I love and a job that loves me.

Until today I did not know that in actuality we were close to being three months behind on our mortgage. My husband talks to the lenders on our mortgage...I don't need any added stress. He told me he was sorry that he had told me and didn't mean to add to my burden.

The thing is...we are a team. He has been overwhelmed as I have by all the gifts that people have sent us...but losing a $700 a week job has set us back even further and I had no idea til today that we were that close to losing the house that is over our heads.

The bank was in the process of trying to debit the monthly payment from my account...for the third time and after failing twice had nothing to show but the two $37 charges for returning the check .

I went to my new job to pick up my paycheck...the one for training and probably the last check I would get...most servers never get a paycheck because taxes are taken out of their tips and the tips are what you live off .

I had a $251.oo check and drove straight to the bank to deposit it along with the money I made last night.

I had to go by and pay Charter because we were late with their payment and my Internet wasn't working.

Came home and got online to check my bank balance and there it was!!

Unemployment had finally been approved and paid me for the last two weeks...one deposit of $330 and another or $285. With my paycheck the house note cleared and now we are only two months behind.

Baby steps...a little at a time. One foot in front of the other.

When I went to the mailbox...a task I dread lately...I had an debit card from DFACS for food stamps...over $500 for food for my family and the sweetest thing I have had happen in a while. Now I can put all of my tips toward paying bills and the mortgage.

Granted we are still behind but now they know we are making the effort and hopefully we will keep the house.

Without the help of so many we wouldn't have been able to make a house note clear...without the help of so many we wouldn't be in our house at all.

I went and bought groceries...LOTS of groceries and took my coupons with me. I had $40 worth of coupons and if I didn't have to buy dog food would have walked out without spending a dime. My dogs have been downgraded to Kibbles and Bits, but didn't seem to mind. There was a short time that I thought my kids may be eating Kibbles and Bits so it worked out really well.

I know God is never late to answer prayers but he sure can keep you in suspense...

Thanking God, my all my friends and family and a new job for letting me feel like that hairy wart is finally going away. When you're 50...a hairy wart doesn't help.

Getting up in the morning to start paying forward...look out people I intend to make all your love not only justified but well deserved.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

TIL NEXT TIME... Cotton with a black hole behind her and a hairy wart fading fast

Christmas Cookin' at The Cotton's

Worked today...got off around five and headed out in the most dismal weather you can imagine. Cold and rainy. Seems to be the norm around here as of late. It will take my back yard til Spring to completely dry out. It was just drizzling so I stopped to pump five dollars worth of gas (my husband says the gas station attendants laugh at me when I do ) but it will get me home and back to work tomorrow and back home again where I have a gas can half full in case I finally misjudge.

I stopped at Publix to pick up some groceries for dinner since the radio said more rain was coming. I came out to a deluge...I think I may have even seen some cats and dogs dropping down. I parked my cart by the building , ran to my car and pulled up next to the store to load my groceries. I called the house from a couple of blocks away to tell Zach to open the garage door for me. He said he was snug in his bed upstairs. I told him I would "Snug" him if he didn't open the garage door that HE broke the opener for. It must have all come back to him because when I pulled in the drive the garage door was open.

Had a wonderful dinner, fixing a new recipe that I found in a magazine. Shrimp with Orzo pasta, fresh baby spinach... roasted grape tomatoes and feta cheese with fresh dill. YUM YUM...

Massey had practice til 9:30 so after dinner I baked chocolate chip cookies and brownies. The kitchen smelled wonderful with all the goodies baking. Three pups laying around my work space, Christmas carols on the radio (trying to win that $5000.00 from B 98.5) and I felt pretty content.

Zach wanted to go to Blockbuster and since I had forgotten paper towels at the store I took him . He seemed to take forever so I sent him a text "I am leaving." He sent me a text back "I am deleting your blogs." I got a chuckle out of that one! We swung by the store for paper towels and came back home to the delicious aroma of Christmas baking.

He's still stewing about being in a video on my blog but I think secretly he likes it. Massey came in from practice and had some dinner and cookies. My oldest son came through for us today with some rent money and I feel pretty good about life.

If ain't perfect, but you know what? It's good.

I have customers at work that come in almost daily and are like family to me (shout out to Miss Donna and Miss Sally) they know all about my three kids and ask about them on a regular basis. My daughter knows both of these women and has eaten or sat with them many times in the restaurant. My whole family knows about both of them from either meeting them or hearing me talk about them. It's nice to have extended family. To me that only means extended love and all of us can use that.

I am going to take my camera to work and take some pictures of my favorite customers...just to put faces with the words I write. I could do about ten blogs about the people I have met and come to love while working in my store.

It may sound crazy... and that is normal coming from me but I am almost looking forward to Christmas. I realize what I don't have but also see what I DO have. A great family..crazy kids to keep me laughing... a husband that loves me (he must be crazy too) and friends that have helped me every step of the way.

The cookies and brownies smell sweet and delicious but the thought that I am loved is the sweetest thing I can think of .

Merry Christmas...mine truly is "A Wonderful Life."

PS. I only put this pic of me and Tim on the blog because I looked so young in it (a little Christmas present to myself)

Til next time...Christmas Cotton

"So im no ones Bitch"

Okay, here we go...this may be a lengthy one.

My seventeen year old son was a late bloomer socially. He stayed at home for most of the first 16 years of his life but since turning 17 he has brought home more new friends than I can count and keep fed. They all seem like good kids and through much trial and error I have come to be a pretty good judge.

A few weeks ago he set out on a weekend day with four boys. They went to Cochran's Mill...a park on the outskirts of Coweta County. I was sitting at the computer when he got home... a little late but only about 9:00. He said he had some good news and some bad news. He said he didn't get arrested but that he had gotten a ticket from the police. He said not to "Freak Out" that he could explain (I could hardly wait to hear THIS one.)

The boys had been walking around the park and were headed back to the car when one of the boys stopped because his flip flop had broken, after trying to fix it he lost sight of the other boys and became lost. The other boys heard him hollering and went back to find their friend.

By the time they found him and found their way back out a policeman was waiting telling them they were in the park after closing and were subject to a fine. He searched all the boys and went back to their car and searched it as well. All good on the search...he gave each boy a ticket to appear in court. After calling the number on the ticket we were told that the fine was $250.00. I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I heard .

We tried to contact the District Attorney but were told he had to show up for his court date. As the date got closer I kept telling Zach he needed to pick up some odd jobs to be able to pay his fine. Heck, I am having trouble making the water bill...much less a $250.00 ticket for broken flip flops. I work with a girl who need some brush cleared in her back yard and kept telling Zach to call her. To his credit he did call her once and she said she would call him back. She is a working mother with three kids under the age of six and the thought probably never crossed her mind again. I told Zach to call her again and again.

Three days before the court date Zach said he needed to get over there and do that work for her. I told him that he hadn't talked to her in over two weeks and even if she still wanted it done I was pretty sure it wasn't going to pay $250.00.

I got a little upset with Zach (maybe an understatement) and told him that I did NOT have the money to pay this ridiculous fine. He kind of blew it off and I reminded him that this was a "COURT DATE" not a "PROM DATE" it wasn't optional and it wasn't negotiable. I told him that judges mean business and his word would be the final word.

Of course then my mouth took over (I just can't help it sometimes) and said that if he didn't have the money and the judge found him guilty he may end up going to jail. Of course I expanded on these thoughts and told him he was already a pretty skinny kid and may find himself someones bitch by the end of his first day in the Big House. A friend of mine at work said "Hey! At least it will be one less mouth to feed and tell him I'll come visit him in the Slammer." Let me interject that she loves all three of my kids dearly but is a smart aleck just like me.

Zach didn't think either one of us were funny and as the court date approached I could tell he was a bit apprehensive. He said he was going to speak for himself and that in itself made me a bit MORE than apprehensive.

Day before the court date...my oldest son's car died in the Publix parking lot and he said he needed my husband's car to go to work. At least life is never dull at the Cottons.

I had to be at work at 10:30 this morning so my husband took me to work in my car, TJ took my husband's car (with an expired tag) to work and Tim checked Zach out after lunch for his 3:00 court date.

DUM DE DUM DUM !!

It was all I could think about at work. I bummed a ride home from a friend and went to doing what I do best lately...worrying.

I sent Zach a text on his phone about 3:45 and said "Let me know what happens and I love you."

At 4:00 he sent me a text saying the fine was dropped and he just had to pay the $40 (he said fourty...wish cell phones had spell check) court cost and that he would pay me back when he did my friend's yard.

I was so relieved it wasn't even funny...until I received another text from him not two minutes later. It read, verbatim " So im no ones Bitch."

Zach is a good kid. He has wavered and sometimes struggled...but who hasn't? I love my kids like nothing else and even though they seem to be trying to kill me on a daily basis I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tim said that Zach did a pretty amazing job of talking to the judge , explaining his case and even had the broken flip flop in the courtroom as evidence.

Maybe my boy will be the next F. Lee Bailey.

Tim starts a new job tomorrow, not much money...but money! The trucking company seems to be on the verge of starting up as well and you know what I think?

I do believe the tide is finally starting to turn...right before the surf swept us totally under. Thank the Lord we all knew how to tread water.

BAR...BA...RA...

I wish I had a picture to go along with this post. My Dad's cousin who I visited in re hab and took to a football game to see Massey has the absolute cutest niece that I have had the pleasure of getting to know over the past few months.

We will call her the "Enunciator."

She lives In Tennessee and comes to visit Frances regularly. She has an older sister who lives in Texas and can't come visit quite as often but is just as wonderful a person as Barbara is and they remind me so much of my sister and me that it isn't even funny.

Elizabeth is the older sister who is a very stately and dignified lady very quiet and serious while still charming and warm.

Barbara is more like Phylis Diller with glasses and without the cigarette holder and Mu Mu.

My sister and me are just the same with our our differences.

I call Cindy "Hard Hearted Hannah" whereas I am a bleeding heart always looking for the silver lining and hoping it is close enough to touch. Cindy is more realistic and keeps me as grounded as she can.

Barbara was a teacher for years and I can tell she was a terrific one.

She is an absolute hoot and I can't imagine anyone not loving her to pieces.

She came to visit Frances the day she was released from her stint in re hab and Zach and I were at Frances' house when Barbara arrived.

She blew in like a tornado and immediately took over the room (usually MY job.)

She commanded Zach to "Look" at her when speaking, and Zach has been under her spell ever since.

She came into the house and immediately began firing questions at Frances. She asked how the release had gone at the re hab and told Frances that she looked really cute. Frances responded that she didn't feel cute.

Barbara clasped her hands together, put them on her knees , perched forward and said "Tell me why you don't feel cute."

Frances was at a loss for that one or either she had so many reasons she just couldn't nail one down .

Barbara is so ME and her sister Elizabeth is so CINDY. Poor Frances is getting the double whammy from our family, she may be placing secret calls to re hab to see if she can get back in!

My brother in law has been at Frances' house putting on a new roof and has gotten to meet and know Barbara over the past couple of days...he too is under her spell.

She is so vibrant that a halo seems to hover over her head and her spirits are always so high that you WANT to be her friend or ask her what she is smoking. (Totally kidding, but you get my drift.)

A nicer woman I have never met.

A more upbeat and inspiring woman I have never encountered.

A better friend I have never gained.

Kudos and love go out to this woman that has been related to me for 48 years before I had the chance to meet and immediately love this new found niece of my Dad's cousin .

As my family has dwindled...it has also grown.

She is a joy and a bright spot wherever she shows up...no wonder it finally quit raining when she came to visit.

To impress my 17 year old son is impressive in itself. To be able to make people love you the way this woman can is incredible...once again I feel really lucky.

Maybe I can get her to talk to my bill collectors.

Til next time...COTTON

A Visit From Reese

The precious little girl that Massey has watched since she was 9 months old for a dear friend of mine is now three and has come to visit from Texas. She is staying with us tonight while her mom goes out to eat and to a concert with her beau. She is absolutely the most beautiful little lady I have ever encountered and it is always a delight to have her in my home.

Massey had guard practice at the high school so my husband and I took Reese up to watch the practice. She was chatting away in the car about wanting to see the flags being twirled by the girls, but when we reached the school and she heard the drums and saw the tubas...it was the band that blew her away. She was totally mesmerized. The minute they began to play she was holding her little skirt out and twirling around dancing like crazy to the music. The minute they stopped...she stopped and sat down. The minute they started back up she was on her feet again doing her little improvised dance and kicking up her heels (in this case, sandals.)

My husband and I laughed so hard it hurt.

If I had only thought to bring my cam corder! I had my cell phone though and snapped a picture of her in action. I have GOT to start taking my cam corder with me so I can capture life's great moments when they happen.

This child has the most beautiful face, heart and demeanor of any small human I have ever met and it has been a joy just seeing her again and seeing how quickly she is growing up.

On a more somber note...

I just got off the phone with my friend from work who's brother was killed in Afghanistan last week . His body will be flown into a small airport in Peachtree City tomorrow morning. I am going to take both my teens with me and check them into school afterward. This man gave his life for all of us and I feel like my kids need to be there as much as I need to . My friend told me that there was going to be a fly over not only at the funeral but at the cemetery as well. When she told me that I had chill bumps. She said a General was coming to the service and I am so glad that this true hero is being honored in such a fitting way.

It has been a crazy week. It has been an eye opening week. It has been a week that will never be forgotten.

Til next time...COTTON

My 'Pity" Party Woke Me Up

My "Pity" party began this morning. Just me and my head were invited and luckily no one else showed up. I got to work and the weight of my problems hit me like a brick in the face. Then I took it upon myself to take everything as slap against me or as if no one cared that I was drowning on the inside or wanted to help me. I just wanted Ed McMahon to walk in with a big check with my name on it and a handful of balloons
...then I remembered he had just died. Well, CRAP...there goes that chance. My day got better when a few friends came in and made my day, I got lucky with a few big parties and I began to feel better.

Then I came home from work, still pouting but going to my sister's for a birthday party for my daughter. We had a great time and when I got home I did what I do when I feel down and out...go through my many, many photo albums.

The first one I came across was a picture of me and Tim when we got married. DAMN, did "I" pick out that dress? TJ looked cute though and I always like looking at a picture of my Diddy.

I came next to a few pictures of the kids when they were small. Do all kids think they look "Ultra" cool in their Halloween costumes? When I was a kid, it was a hard plastic "Caspar" mask from A&P with two nostril holes and eye holes that dug into your face all night and a cheap tie on outfit that could go up into flames at any given minute(if you read the warning label.)

Then came vacation pictures. The kids and cousins had such a good time and they always managed to break at least two or three things in each house we rented. Super glue was always first on the packing list ...followed by Vodka. Dang, six kids don't make a week at the beach easy without the Vodka.

Then the pictures of TJ growing up, all the kids all growing up.

Then I come across a picture of our last family reunion.

Look what a great family I come from...look how many people that are my blood , love me!!

Sometimes you have to take a step back from reality slapping you relentlessly in the face and look at the whole picture...ALL of the picture(s).

Granted I seem to be going over a mighty wide speed bump...but that's what shock absorbers are for.

I have come a long way from the young girl Tim married. We have three great kids and a host of family that loves us.

"Count your blessings, name them one by one."

PS If you double click on any picture it will show in its original size.

Heeeere's...FRANCES !!

Finally got a video that will upload. Massey and I took her lunch again today (compliments of my great manager.) Got to rehab to find my sister there as well. We had a nice chat while Frances ate her lunch. She is always so easy to please...I could bring her a PB&J sandwich and she would act like it was a turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

She had just gotten her hair done and looked cute as can be. She said she had a wash, cut and set. I'm not sure what a "Set" is...maybe it means they didn't make her stand to have it done.

She only has one more week in rehab and then hopefully she can return to her home.

When my sister took her for her doctor visit the other day, she had to bring a report from the doctor at rehab. My sister said the doctor had written "Patient has no complaints or pain." My sister made the comment she bet the doctors at rehab didn't write THAT too often!

She is stronger every time I go visit and it feels wonderful to see what amazing progress she has made in such a short period of time.

Enjoy getting to see a small glimpse of such a tremendous woman.

Til next time...Cotton... aka "The woman rehab will be most glad to be rid of.)

I Stand Corrected

Number one, I feel like I told the David Letterman joke.

Number two I know I feel a hundred times worse than he did.

I meant to write something Frances would be happy to read. Instead I tacked three years on to her life and felt like a complete idiot (Not a stretch for me.)

The only thing I can say in my weak defense is that I didn't meet Frances until a family reunion at my sister's house when my dad was still alive and very active. He has ALWAYS had a youthful look about him, even in his seventies. For as long as I can remember he looked younger than any of his siblings. NOT THAT FRANCES DOESN'T LOOK GREAT ! Here I go again digging myself another grave!!

I felt about two feet high when I read her comment. My intentions were totally sincere...just off by a few years and not in the direction that ANY woman would be happy about.

My carefree daughter heard me lamenting to Zach about my stupidity and came down the stairs to ask what was wrong. Zach said calmly "Mom called a woman mean names on her blog."

I almost shouted when I said "I did NOT call a woman mean names, I just got her age wrong and I feel terrible about it. "

Massey asked how far off I was and when I told her she said just as calmly "Well, that's most of the way there. She won't mind." (Easy for a thirteen year old girl to say!) Boy will I remind her of THAT one when she is her late thirties..."Massey we may as well call you forty since you're most of the way there."

I hope Frances knows how much she means to me and that no disrespect or hurt was intended. I just hate it that I screwed up so royally. Thank goodness my kids were there to make me feel better....NOT !!

Everything was edited and corrected within two minutes of reading her comment to me.

My sincerest apologies to you Frances. As Tim so sweetly pointed out..."I guess Frances really IS sharper than you." Even though he is right, he could have at least patted my hand while he said it. At least my two dogs don't seem upset with me...yet. Watch some loud mouth dog in the neighborhood that surfs the net go yapping off and tell both of them. By then I guess I really WILL be in the Dog House !

Once again... I stand corrected and hope my family still loves me. I guess I will have to start having ya'll fill out questionnaires for me!!

I got Tim to proof read this before I posted it. His only comment was when he got to the part about him and he hollered into the kitchen "Whyda ya have to throw ME under the bus ?" I told him I needed the company.

Til Next time... FEELIN ROTTEN COTTON

The Big Move

My sister moved yesterday.

Ya know, you just feel guilty if you don't offer to help...and you always cross your fingers thinking that they will say "You don't have to help".

NOT SO!! But my sister helped us move out of our old house and into this one...so we were screwed from the get go. She did so much for us when we moved that this pay back was destined to happen.

My husband is a partner in a trucking company, so he brought a HUGE truck and luckily we made the move in one giant trip. My husband was absolutely thrilled at the prospect of spending his entire day off loading and unloading boxes and furniture...and he got his wish!!

It was a family effort and with the help of two Latinos we picked up at a gas station that serves as our local "Temp" agency...we began the day.

My thirteen year old daughter was thrilled to ride to my sister's house in the "BIG" truck with her dad, and by the time I got there, she had a "HOG" hat that my sister had given her, and a bird's eye view of the packing process from her perch on the top floor of the house we were moving them out of.

I told Massey that if my sister tried to give her ONE MORE THING...refuse it. I know the game. Offer a thirteen year old all the junk that you don't want, and suddenly the moving truck has more open space and I need another vehicle to cart home all the "Crap" that she has unloaded on my daughter.

It is the "Mema" syndrome.

When we were younger, we would go to my grandmother's house and come home with a box of junk that we thought was precious cargo.

We would try to refuse her offers of the amazing treasures...and she would sweetly reply "I am just going to throw it away, so TAKE it"!!

So home we marched, with our potholders made off of those little weaving frames with the stretch loops, baskets of dried flower arrangements that were twenty years old and King Edward cigar boxes full of S&H green stamps and Doral coupons.

The old woman was smart. It was even better than a yard sale. She did nothing but hand us her junk and we thanked her profusely for being so gracious to give us her treasures.

My daughter would have taken every piece of junk my sister tried to pawn off on her, had I not shown up after she received the Razor Back helmet.

Once the big move was made, we transitioned to the unload phase.

My sister and her husband bought a century old farm house, including six acres of orchards, vineyards, gardens and a coy pond. It has a barn with a loft and an old smokehouse, surrounded by magnificent old trees and every flower and plant that you could imagine.

My daughter was immediately over helping us in any type of way or fashion, but roamed the acreage , discovered every nook and cranny and spent most of her time swinging on the tire swing...hollering for a "PUSH PLEASE".

Once we unloaded the truck, there was furniture that couldn't fit into the house and my husband and our new friends Omar and Jose loaded it back onto the truck so that Tim could pull the truck back to the barn to store it there (until my sister could pawn it off to other unsuspecting relatives).

The driveway curving around the house was a tight turn, but my husband who has been in trucking for over twenty years seemed to manage the tight squeeze pretty well until he asked our daughter to stand in front of the truck and let him know if he was about to hit anything.

He stopped the huge truck and began to back up as my daughter emphatically motioned "come on"!!

My sister and her sons were saying "Why is he backing up? What is he DOING"?

When he put the truck into park, he was about three inches away from three live power lines that ran from the barn to the house.

My daughter replied that she was just looking down and no one told her to check above the truck.

Once the electrocution of my husband was avoided, we unloaded the rest of the truck and by the time we got the last piece out of the truck, I swear I heard tires squealing as my husband turned the corner of the house to take the truck back to his company . He said to himself "I AM OUTTA HERE"!!

We didn't get her settled in, but we got her moved in.

It was a day of adventure, it was a day of family and it was probably the longest day that my husband has seen in a while.

I am glad that it is over, and I am glad that we could help.

Moving is NEVER fun...and it truly lets you know who your friends are.

"E" Leeza "Beth" This is my Birthday Present To You

One of the most favorite people in my life is "Elizabeth". She pronounces it just like I wrote it in the title of this blog. She is a SOUTHERN woman through and through...MY KINDA GAL!! She was my father's companion, friend and love in his last days. I love her dearly, call her not enough, but when I do... she responds with all the love in her heart, and never gives me grief for not calling sooner. My kids all think of her as their grandmother.....and I don't think she would want it any other way.

She may be in her eighties (I hope you are...Cin told me you were but I found it hard to believe) , but she is sharp as a tack, on top of her game and someone that I love

My Dad was pretty smart. He knew once my MOM died, she would never, ever be replaced. But after almost a quarter of a decade went by, he settled into a wonderful and comfortable life with his choice..."ELIZABETH".

They were friends, they were fellow Christians and they were in love. It seems strange to me to call them lovers but they were...they were in love . I KNOW that my Dad loved her , she was an intimate part of his being, and a soul mate...something he never thought he would ever find after my Mother died.

She came to know all of us ..love all of us and wormed her way easily into all of our lives. I sometimes think that she may miss him more than us, and that breaks my heart because I know how much I miss him and if it hurts her more...it must be almost unbearable for her.

But we try to still include her..NO, not try, but WANT to include her in our lives. She is the last thing that we have to connect us on this Earth with our Dad (DIDDY) as we called him and always will.

She sat at the hospital for almost ten days as we all did, waiting for my "Diddy" to get better...which unfortunately he did not. But we stuck it through, we laughed, we cried, we remembered and we hoped.

I almost feel that she suffered a loss greater than we did.

I feel it a great honor to have her call me a friend... for my kids to call her a grandparent, and for her not ever being upset that I have taken too long to call and check on her, but to always be happy to receive my call and for her loving me the way I know my "Diddy" knew she always would .

You are stuck with us, Elizabeth, you are one of us, and my "DIDDY" would want it no other way. He knew what he was doing when he brought you into our family...he was keeping the love that he had given us as children alive, he was giving you to us...and what a gift you have been.