I'm Not THAT Stupid!

So I woke up around nine this morning and started watching my new favorite/ can't stop watching show, Breaking Bad. I'm as addicted to this show as the meth heads are addicted to the product they make. Finally at one I had to MAKE myself turn off Netflix. My younger son bought Netflix for the house and got me watching and now I simply can't stop.

The phone rang so I wandered downstairs to the kitchen to answer.

A man with an accent as thick as the hair on my winter legs asked for Kelly. I fessed up it was me. Then he goes into a broken English one sided conversation about how he was with the IRS and there was a problem with my taxes requiring my immediate attention. He asked for me to get a pen and write down my case number and name of the agent assigned to my case in Washington. I took the number down mainly because in actuality Tim and I DO have some problems with the IRS stemming from a couple of guys who made Tim the fall guy in a trucking business they all had a few years back. We're unfortunately stuck with a $28,000 payroll  penalty tax we are having to pay off. Of course I didn't mention this but as the guy kept talking about how important it was I contact my caseworker, I began to question HIM!

It went something like this:

"So let me get this right. The IRS is calling me on a Saturday afternoon to let me know there is a problem with my taxes? Number one , you don't even sound American. Number two, you sound like somebody I get on the phone when I call my cable company for technical support and somebody in Indonesia answers."

The guy went on and on when finally I simply said "Yeah, right" and hung up the phone. I started worrying maybe he was legit so I called the number he had given me to contact my caseworker. A man picked up on the second ring and said "Internal Revenue Service." I immediately hung up. Crap! Were we really in MORE trouble?

Then I decided to put the phone number into the Google search bar and see what came up. There were at least five queries saying it was a hoax and that the number I had dialed was in fact a cell phone in Washington but not related to the IRS.

I started thinking about what happens when he calls old people, not too smart people or illegals worried about their immigration status.

I didn't give the guy any information, just an ear full. I know times are tough, no one knows that more than us but to scam people on a cell is pretty stinking lazy if you ask me.

Tim wasn't home at the time, he had gone to the park to walk. When he got home I told him about the call.

He said the guy had called around nine this morning and asked for me. Tim knew I was downstairs getting my Breaking Bad fix and didn't want to bother me so took the number down himself. He called the number right back and a man answered. When Tim said to the man "You sound exactly like the same guy I was talking to ten seconds ago" the man hung up on Tim.

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed but for Pete's sake, how stupid do you think we are?

What worried me more is that obviously these guys are getting a few people's financial information out of them and possibly stealing money or they wouldn't keep doing this.

All our (unfortunate) dealings with the IRS  have always been through certified mail. Actually one time they DID make a house call but after setting up an appointment via certified letter. It was nerve wracking and I let Tim talk to him in the living room while I stayed upstairs. I came downstairs to sign papers and scooted from the room as soon as my name was signed on the dotted line.

I should have known better from the jump but when you already owe the IRS you get nervous. The IRS gets our tax returns for the next seven years plus we're on a payment plan for the rest. At least the IRS has the courtesy of paying for certified mail to let you know.

I went into work feeling better knowing it was a hoax. It was pretty slow again but got lucky with a few great tables.

Tim was off today so I had Zach take me to work at four and then he took the car to his job at five. I got off around nine and caught a ride to where Zach works. I was starving so Zach asked me if I wanted something to eat before taking the car home? I told him I would love some wings so he ordered me some. I saw him at the counter with his credit card and went around to pay for them myself. I handed the waitress a twenty and said not to take Zach's card. Zach took the twenty out of the waitress's hand and made her put it on his card. He stuffed the twenty in his back pocket and thought to myself "What just happened and where did my twenty dollars just go?"

I didn't say anything then but when Zach brought me my box of wings to take home just said "Use that twenty to take a cab home tonight."

I suppose it's the thought that counts.

Zach has been good to us though, helping out with bills and can't say I don't enjoy his Netflix account tremendously.

It's getting better around here, slowly but surely. At least I know now we don't owe the IRS any MORE money. My job has been a blessing, the boys are pitching in when we need it and know God will provide Tim with a good job soon.

Ate my wings when I got home, even shared some with Tim. Now I'm going upstairs to the living room to watch Breaking Bad again...yep I'm a junkie for the show.

Talked to my girl at college for a few minutes, took the dogs out and now it's "Me" time. I've learned that "Me" time is a necessity I ignored for way too long.

As Alanis Morrisette so eloquently said "We're broke but we're happy."

Til next time...COTTON

My Little Black Horse

Here's my pup, Ziggy sticking his head through the new gate his uncle Harvey built, complete with  a peep hole. We caught him slithering through it like a flattened out rat last week and had to cover it with chicken wire but he'll soon be too big to escape through it. That's okay, little Houdini has found a different way out of the yard every day. I think he has little trampolines in his paws because I have never seen such a little dog  jump the way he does. I can't wait for Ham to get his eyes fixed so they can be kangaroos together. Before Ham went blind he could jump over six feet with ease.

He's a devil in disguise but such a cute devil! Let's see what he's destroyed in his few short months here with us. He tore up a sofa cushion on a couch that luckily I got for free and when we came home it looked like our house had been raided by the DEA searching for drugs. Foam every where, Ham and Charlie sitting off to the side of the room with  faces that immediately said "WE didn't do it." Ziggy sat in the pile of foam pieces grinning happily swinging his head back and forth like Stevie Wonder seeming to say "Just LOOK at it... I did it all by myself!"

Same  thing when I came home and he had eaten an entire bag of Christmas ornaments. Ham and Charlie were both sitting solemnly off to the side as Ziggy  pranced around all the broken ornaments swinging his head like Ray Charles showing off his handiwork.

There have been three remote controls, two tubes of tooth paste and one tassel off the only nice pair of shoes Tim has. (had)

I'd say he's eaten at least half a dozen potatoes out of my potato bin, two loaves of bread...including the plastic bag they came in, but left the twist ties, and two plants in my living room leaving all  the dirt on the carpet. He's fond of gutter spouts in the back yard and even enjoyed one of Zach's razors carelessly left on the bathroom counter. I'm surprised he lived through that one.

He's tall and lanky and anything left on the kitchen counter is fair game to him.

We started leaving him closed in the spare bedroom upstairs when everyone was gone and that worked pretty well...for a few days. Christmas Eve we went to Tim's parent's and sequestered him once again. We got home three hours later. I went to let him out of jail and couldn't get the bedroom door open. When I did there was a four foot square of carpet and padding chewed up right by  the door Houdini tried to escape from. I looked down and was staring at the sub flooring. He looked up smiling and shot down the stairs to see his buddies, happy as a clam. The mess wasn't that big but the padding was missing so I assumed he had his fiber intake covered for the next year.

Christmas Day he  got a reprieve. Everyone came to our house and the little stinker's just so cute that he was loved to death.

Us women were all sitting around in the kitchen talking with my sons and nephews when Massey started counting how many vehicles they had all gone through.(and not in a good way) Between my two boys and my sister's two boys we counted seventeen cars, one being my own Passat and another being my sister's Honda. (Wrecked twice)

Kinda makes tooth paste, remote controls, cushions and even carpet seem extremely expendable. When I get mad at  my kids and finally blow up, they pout for a couple days. When I spank Ziggy with an empty paper towel roll, he scurries under the living room coffee table but ten minutes later is rubbing up against me like a cat still bobbing that head like a bobble headed doll with  that smiley face looking all happy. It just makes me feel good. It may sound crazy  and I know it is but what ever he does wrong he gives back to me with complete love and affection.

On Christmas my nephew (the family dog whisperer) taught Ziggy to shake. We've been trying since we got him in June and  finally  just accepted he was  "Rain Man/Dog" and destined for great  things in  the Canine Special Olympics. Casey  taught him to shake in less than five minutes.

It's like raising a kid all over again,  has been disastrous at most points but really gratifying at others.  Ham and Charlie like their new buddy and he certainly likes them. He was very sweet to Ham when he went through that horrible week after the first two heart worm kill shots. It's amazing how instinctive dogs are. Ziggy didn't jump on him but would lay beside him and cuddle up.

Speaking of Ham, he finished his heart worm quick kill yesterday.  Zach went with me. Ham may be sick but still strong as an ox.  Once again we waited in the waiting room.  (the parking lot)

I can't say enough good things about this vet who saved my dog's life. I was waiting in the parking lot for our turn while Zach kept Ham in the car. I was talking with a man who was a paramedic in our county, waiting to get his dog's free Rabies shot  and he remarked how great it was to have low cost care for the animals we love the most. He pointed to mobile clinic, humming away on it's generator and remarked, "The guy's smart, he loves animals but look at his overhead."

Dr. Marseli came out of his "Office" and saw me sitting on the curb. He cocked his head and asked me with his 'thumbs up' if Ham was still okay? I gave him a thumbs up back and had Zach bring Ham out of the car. He said the last shot wasn't as devastating and stuck a short needle into Ham's hip. He said my boy looked good and gave us preventative to start Ham on in two weeks. He told us to bring him back in twelve weeks and have him retested for heart worms. After that we have the go ahead for eye surgery.  Ham started to feel bad about  halfway home. (a ten minute drive)

The paramedic I was talking to in the "Waiting Room" had gone through the same thing with his coon dog and said it was much like chemotherapy for dogs. "It's poison and  hurts like hell but  beats losing your buddy."

Christmas is over, it was great. Ziggy is a mess but coming around. Ham is halfway there. My oldest son leaves  for Australia in a few weeks to live the adventure of a lifetime. My youngest son is on the straight and narrow. My daughter is full guns ahead for a college degree  and destined for amazing things.

The  giraffe she gave me for Christmas amazes me every time I look at  it. The detail is incredible.

After everything is said and done...I couldn't have a more perfect life. Looking forward to  the New Year and new opportunities.

My life is a jumble of love, kids, dogs and troubles.  In the correct order, I am one lucky woman.

Til next  time...COTTON

Never a Normal Day...When You're Me

Capn' Tim cooked us another great breakfast this morning while Massey and I watched TV in the comfy bed upstairs with a pillow top mattress. We greased up, loaded up the car and headed to the beach. It was once again a beautiful sunny day. We stayed til after one and Tim decided to go back to the condo for lunch. Massey and I decided to stay for one more dip in the ocean. We waded out about thigh high (we're sissies in the ocean) and noticed a woman talking to the lifeguard. All the lifeguards went into alert mode immediately. The one in the chair had out his binoculars and the rescue truck drove down to the shoreline with another guard searching with binoculars as well. Once they spotted the woman yet another lifeguard grabbed a surfboard and ran toward the water. He was beyond the breakers in less than thirty seconds. He disappeared behind the swell line and we finally saw him throw up a hand and wave. The jet ski had already been unloaded by the fire rescue squad and sat at the shoreline. Once given the signal they launched the jet ski but it got stuck on a sand bar. At least six people ran out and helped push the jet ski off, with another lifeguard hanging onto the back.

The lifeguard on the surfboard had the woman up on his board and as soon as the jet ski got there they put a life vest on her and headed back to shore. When they hit the sandbar at least five lifeguards helped carry her back to shore. They transferred her to a rescue vehicle and drove her to a waiting ambulance on the road...doing CPR the entire time.

Massey and I walked back to the condo for lunch. After lunch we walked back down to the beach to load up and drive the car back. Sitting on the side of the road was a local news crew and we stopped to ask how the woman was? The young girl said she was critical and asked if we had witnessed it? After saying yes, she got out of the car with a microphone and asked for an interview. I looked at Massey and she looked at me.

It's not like I looked good, who does after four hours on the beach? We agreed  and it was just a thirty second interview.

When it first started I thought it was a child missing but seeing the woman calmly talking with the lifeguard led me to think otherwise. If MY child was missing they would have already had to restrain me. After watching you could see that she was simply an observant woman on the beach who thought someone was too far out and may possibly need help.

We learned from another news crew later when we walked back to the beach again that the elderly woman was in critical condition. She had gone out into the ocean with a friend but her friend came back to shore. Her friend lost track of time and didn't miss her until some woman went to the life guard stand worried about someone being so far out for so long. It was a ways down the beach from the lifeguard stand and it took several minutes for him to find her with his binoculars. I don't want you to think the guards are lax. Massey and I are on the beach every morning when they arrive. They drag their heavy stand from the top of the beach to the water front (no small feat) and we see them doing push ups on the sand, often swim laps in the Atlantic and are always aware. Once alerted,  I was very impressed with their professionalism and quick response.

I kept thinking about how easily that could have been Tim. We always go out together but Massey and I always come back in first and leave him out there while we bury our noses in our books back on the beach. Massey and I made a pact on the spot..."We all go out together and all come back together."

We came down here on a shoe string but at least we are all going back home. I hope this woman gets to go home too.

We learned a lesson today about what a mighty beast mother nature can be. We learned to NEVER ignore the warning flags (they are there for  reason) and once again learned that we are indeed very lucky people.

It's been an awesome trip. Massey and I have spent every waking moment together and laughed ourselves silly. We've spent little money but taken tons of pictures and made countless memories. My vacation could have ended up like the woman's on the beach today but by the Grace of God it hasn't.

Once again I am realizing how very very lucky I am.

Three more days of paradise...

Til next time COTTON

Hangin' On

"I'll tell them how I survive it. I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could all be taken away. That's when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I've seen someone do. It's like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious...but there are much worse games to play."

This is the last line of  "Mocking Jay." Haven't enjoyed a series of books this much since I read about my new kick a** friend, Lisbeth in "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" series.

I love me an underdog!  Maybe because I felt like one for almost three years but have survived and lived to tell my story.

My life is actually pretty stinkin' great now. We are still in financial recovery but compared to three years ago, are living the 'High Life."

I still have bad days but of my own choosing. I work too much and I know this but simply can't help it. When you begin to advance it is hard to stop. (At least for me)

We've had a few setbacks...well maybe more than a few but nothing working hard doesn't help alleviate.

In my opinion,  we are living the American Dream. Work hard, live by The Golden Rule and above all else have faith in God and yourself.

For the very first time every person in our house and even the one that faltered but flew after a tough love shooing out of the nest is working and it feels good...to me AND them.

It hasn't been easy but  has made an impression on me that will remain forever.

I work for  kooks, but then again I AM one. They have helped me out time and time again and all they have asked is that I work hard for them.

When Zach had his "Unfortunate Incarceration"  co workers gave him rides back to the "Pokey" so I wouldn't have to go back and pick him up after working ten and twelve hour shifts.

Massey had plenty of love thrown her way too.

I just seem to be loved and it is a wonderful feeling.

Yesterday  I took my lil' car in for tires after seeing steel belts showing on the back two. I called my  BFF at  the tire place and warned him I was coming. Massey and I got there and at least six other people were waiting. I walked in and the owner said "Well hello, Mrs. Cotton." He took my keys  and immediately told one of his guys to take my car and put on two new tires. Massey and I went out front to sit in the sunshine and read our books. Not twenty minutes later they rolled my car out of the bay and we were good to go...all six people still sitting reading newspapers and magazines. I didn't feel guilty until he said "That will be $321.00...how much are you going  pay?"

I told him I had half but would be back the next  day with more and have him paid off by  Friday.

He shook his head, smiled and handed me my receipt. When we left, Massey made the comment "Do you  think those other people who came in earlier and paying in full were ticked when we left first and only paid half?"

I told her "Maybe he told them we were relatives."

I went by  today after my lunch shift,  gave him another chunk of money and told him what Massey said. He smiled again (he is the silent type) and quietly said "I told them we  were cousins."

It's things like that. It's things like my brother in law changing my oil to  save me thirty bucks. It's things like co workers taking Zach home from work so I don't have to go back after working twelve hours to pick him up. It's my sister loaning me her car. It's my brother spoiling Massey like she deserves but that I can't afford right now.

 It's everything...it's people taking time out of their life just to help me.

It is humbling but a fantastic feeling. It makes me get up day after day after day and work shift after shift after shift.

If all these people do this for me...I'm not an underdog anymore. I am one of the luckiest people on this planet!

Have tomorrow off...cutting Mr. Slow Lee's grass next door and helping out the owners of the restaurant at a wine event...payment: Free Chicken Cacciatore!

Dang it feels good to be worn out but know that life IS getting better...day by day, friend by friend, co worker by co worker, relative by relative and blessing by blessing!

Til next time...Contented COTTON

I'm Wore Slap Out...

I felt like these shoes by the time I clocked out at work tonight. I went in at 4:30 and in less than ten minutes had four tables going and another one going down. On top of that I had a party of eleven coming in at  the same time as a party of eight. At least the parties were all set up and not due for a hour.

I got my butt handed to me for five hours straight. Hot flashes were the least of my worries... not stroking out was way up there on the list. Sometimes it all goes smooth and sometimes it doesn't. Every server was running around like chickens with their head cut off.

I had a couple of bobbles and a plate of food that got sent back. I kept my head down low and kept on truckin'. By 9:00 my heart rate had returned to normal and so had my limp that makes me look like Festus from Gun Smoke. It ain't easy being a server for thirty three years and not expect the toll to be pretty grim on your feet. At least I have good shoes. My sister gave me a pair of Dansko's a couple of years ago and they have been my feet's saving grace. I carry heavy plates and trays of drinks fifty hours a week. I carry them all on my left arm and serve them with my right. It's kinda thrown my body off...it thinks I weigh 140lbs on my left side and 99 on the right. I am fifty one, have been doing this non stop since college while all through the years working with people that are the age I was when I STARTED waiting tables.

I chose this profession so I really can't bitch (well I can but I shouldn't.)  What grates my nerves is younger servers saying "When I get a REAL job..."

Let's see, I am almost fifty two. While being a server I have bought a house, sold it, bought another and have less than four years til it is paid off. I have raised three kids ... granted they haven't been spoiled rotten by some people's standards.  By millions and millions of less fortunate people's standards they are living the high life. They have a house with heat air conditioning running water,  a bed to sleep in and a cell phone to text on while watching cable TV in their bedroom.

Yep! I'd say their Momma has a real job.

 A fake job usually doesn't tend to help provide for all of that. My husband has always had a "Real" job and I hear him gripe about his a heck of a lot more than I have about my "Fake" job.

We hit a bump on BOTH of our jobs a while back but kept on keeping on with prayers and pushing from many.

I just don't want to sit or work in an office or at a desk. Number one I am WAY too loud. Number two you have to wait for pay day to get money...boy would MY already flimsy bank account be screwed!

Yes it is starting to wear on my body. It is a tremendous amount of physical work (if you do your part) and often stressful. But Heck...I'm gonna get old no matter what I do, why not enjoy it?

I know my limits and have recently pushed myself a bit past them but realizing I still have two teens at home that need a Momma have cut back to six days a week and suddenly feel so much better I am beginning to wonder if maybe I really DO have a "Fake" job?

Things settled down at work after all the bombs went off and all the smoke cleared. I got one last table...

"BINGO!"

A friend of mines brother who was a bartender with his lady (who was a server) and their adorable 14 week old baby.  Got to chat with them since the mine field had cleared and I think they enjoyed having a late night out...baby in tow. The baby was a little doll with her natural Mohawk and dimples on her elbows. I vividly remember that age with my own children. I would creep into their nursery late at night after getting home from  work to simply watch them sleep...it was mesmerizing,  beautiful and a  totally peaceful feeling to watch  something Tim and I had created out of the heat of passion that now I passionately loved more than anything in the world. I told this young couple to enjoy every moment, every turn of the head and smile on the face. You blink and twenty years go by in a flash.

They left and I went to clear their table. They had inadvertently taken the wrong charge receipt (the one with a tip written on it.)

Our bartender used to be the woman's room mate and sent her a text. She called back and had me add a $20 tip.

It's all about friendship. It's all about connections. It's all about Karma.

By the time I got off even the closing servers had left. I was limping and beat but I made enough money to pay all my currently due bills and then some.

I don't watch my kids sleep anymore...I wait up for them to come home. When I hear the front door open it's almost as gratifying as it was to watch them sleep.

So I don't have what most people consider a "Real" job. I don't live what most people consider a "Real" life!

I came across a quote in a book I was reading last night that describes me, my life and my way of parenting perfectly.

"What I had was luck, friends and tenacity born of desperation."

stumble, regroup and try again. You do what you have to for your kids and do an awful lot of praying.

 Call me a server...that's better than being called "Unemployed."

I live a crazy life...no doubt. But I live a full life and have given all my kids a pretty good life as well. We have family fights and disagreements, we have had good times and bad...but we have always had each  other!

Getting up again tomorrow and doing it again...COTTON

The Best Worst Day of My Life

Today is the one year anniversary of me starting at the restaurant. It was the best worst day of my life. I was so deeply depressed after being fired from a job I had been at for over 13 years and was totally ashamed to even HAVE to seek employment. I wallowed in pity for a week , hoping my old place would call me back to work.



It didn't happen so I sucked in my pride and went to Mama Lucia's to talk to Barb about being hired. When I walked into the restaurant she said "I was looking for you last week." I told her I was looking for myself last week too.



That conversation was the beginning of the greatest thing to ever happen to me. My old restaurant was good to me for many years but when we fell on hard times and needed understanding and support... they turned a deaf corporate ear and kicked me out.



At the time I thought it was the worst thing to ever happen to me. I now know it was a blessing in disguise.



It has shown me what a blessing it is to be loved and cared about...loved and cared about by family, friends, employers and even strangers.



We were totally carried over the raging waters of the abyss and plopped on the other side.



The gratitude we have for all the love and generosity can never be fully repaid but will be forever remembered and continually paid forward.

We are still struggling for air but breathing easier every month. It's been a tremendous strain on my marriage but the fact that I am STILL married says a lot about our commitment to each other and to this marriage.

My brother and sister became my Father and Mother. Friends turned into sisters and brothers. Strangers turned into wonderful friends. My new employers became my champions...urging me on and helping me every step of the way.

The owner's are a family that I admire tremendously. They are living the American dream. They own their own business. It takes sweat, working long hours and endless dedication, but it is THEIRS.

They have welcomed me into their restaurant family and helped me out time and time again...LITERALLY.

I came into their company a broken person with no self confidence left. They have let me believe in myself again and have always believed in me.

The Guard Massey is on has been my "Perk."

Defined ... "To make or become cheerful or lively."

Crazy ...but being a part of HER Guard world has given me much satisfaction in MY world and they have all welcomed me knowing I owe money (Who don't I owe?) but as long as I contribute my limited time treat me as an equal.

I actually paid the Guard some money last night and it felt GREAT!

Being with them is my "Happy Time."

Tim is slowly moving up in his company...I am in a great place, we are destined to make a come back!

Today is the anniversary of "The Greatest Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Me."

I call that a "WIN."

I try to not be bitter about my last employer...but am.

As I ponder and think about all that has happened and all the good things that have occurred since my life spiraled out of control a year ago...I feel like sending my old company a Thank You note.

"Dear corporate...YOUR LOSS."

Til next time...Contented Cotton

What the "Hey" Let's Buy a Tree Too...

I usually buy a tree right after Thanksgiving and have it shedding needles in my living room well into January. Last year we were too broke to buy presents, much less a tree. One day about a week before Christmas I came home from work to find that one of the cook's at work had bought and brought over a tree for us. It was the most beautiful tree we have ever had. Another co worker bought my kid's ihomes and it was a good Christmas

I keep saying I am going to get a tree ...but just never seem to find time. I promised Massey that Saturday we would go get one and let her decorate it.

The last two days have been a blur...let me share some of that "Blur" with you!

Massey turned 15 in mid August and I have been  promising and promising I would take her for her learner's permit.The first time we went they were closed. The second time we went they needed a certificate of attendance from school...that happened to be the first day of Thanksgiving break and school was out for a week.

When school got back in I went by the office to get a certificate of attendance. News to me but they needed a 24 hour notice and a dollar to get it.

Three days later Massey got it and again the DDS was closed. I never knew not getting a learner's permit could make a 15 year old girl cry,  but guess what? It can.

Next time we went, we were prepared...had the certificate of attendance...had the Social Security number...had the birth certificate and even the ten bucks it would cost for my girl to scare me from the driver's seat.

The woman behind the counter who has obviously never taken a customer service course dissed us right off the bat. "This birth certificate won't work. It's not official"

Whadaya  mean?

 Although it is the one they handed me after ripping my body open and grabbing Massey out in under twenty minutes after arriving at the hospital in an ambulance, it seems that it was just a souvenir.  They wanted one with footprints and handprints. For Pete's sake, I felt like taking it back out to the car and drawing some on .

Massey was once again devastated so I asked the unfriendly unhelpful chick behind the counter what to do. I think I used my "Mom is mad face" because her demeanor quickly changed and she became my friend. She told me I had to go to the court house and get an official birth certificate.

So off we went, straight to the court house. Twenty five dollars later I had a copy of the same certificate stating the same facts, except that it had a Notary seal. BIG WHOOP.
 
I was the one who had my guts ripped open and had my baby pulled out of a four inch incision...I think that is something you don't forget...maybe they should have put a Notary seal on my scar that is still numb 15 years later.

We went to the court house and paid 25 dollars for a piece of paper that said "Indeed this baby was pulled out of this woman's body."

Back to the DDS we went. They were more than gracious on this trip and sent her straight to take her test.

Guess that "Mom is ticked" look works everywhere.

She passed and got her permit. I wanted to remind them that this was the same office that gave my boy a permit to drive with the same type birth certificate just last year.

Massey asked me to just hush, so I did.

I checked her into school and went home...dreading the fact that she was now licensed to drive.

I picked her up from school and she had a guard friend that needed a ride home. I dropped off her friend and then Massey wanted to drive home.

It was a gas/brake shaky steering wheel ride home but she did it. Ya gotta start somewhere!

Today we got up and had to go take her Letter to be sewn on her jacket we had ordered. She wanted to drive but it was drizzly and the Saturday before Christmas...Every nut in the world was out.

We  went to pay on her jacket and discovered that there is more than one Santa Claus. Her jacket is almost paid off, thanks to "DeeSanta" and once again  I bowed my head and thanked God that so many people love my family.

We left there and trudged back to Newnan. We wanted a tree and heard that Food Lion had them on sale . We drove up and there were six trees left with a sign that read "$19.00."

We needed dog food anyway so we went inside. When we checked out I told the woman we wanted a tree too.

When the young guy met us outside he asked which one we wanted and I said  "The biggest one."

When I pulled my Passat up his look was like "Wassup, Biotch...this ain't gonna fit."

I told him to just shove it in. I had the back seat laid down and he shoved the tree up to the gear shift. I had Massey give him a $3 tip and off we went.

We drove home like the Clampett's with our trunk open and a tree sticking WAY out the back.

We got home and I had Zach come pull the tree out. I told him it needed some bottom branches trimmed. He went over to Mr. "Slow"ly's house and got a saw.

Zach trimmed about two feet off the bottom of the tree. Now we have an eight foot tree with two feet taken off the bottom for no reason but it is up.

I came home from work and Massey had it decorated. It looks pitiful , Zach hacked it to death, but it is up and decorated and now we have a tree.

It is a tree that means more to me than any other.

It is a tree that reminds me that beauty is in the eye of  the beholder.

I have had blessings on top of blessings. I have had people that know me, people that have never met me and people that just love me take care of me and take care of my family.

What a wonderful blessing to have.

To be loved is a tremendous thing.

It is looking a LOT likeChristmas here at the Cotton's.

I hope that every person has the Christmas I am going to have.

A GREAT ONE!!

From my totally full heart to yours...

MERRY CHRISTMAS....from the bottom of my heart.

COTTON

Jumping Through Hoops

I feel like this is my hand sticking up through the piles of red tape so I can find that hoop I am obviously supposed to be jumping through...I bet when I find it the hoop will be wrapped in red tape.

A few weeks ago I got a letter from the Georgia DHR stating that I needed to bring check stubs to their office so I could reapply for assistance. I was hoping that by now I could fore go assistance but decided that I needed it for a while longer. I debated the issue...I HATE having to use that EBT card and am humiliated even when swiping the card in the self check out lane. I keep it out of view until the last minute, swipe it quickly and return it to my pocket before all the people I think are staring at me (who probably aren't) start talking about me behind my back. I went to the DHR office and had them make copies of our pay stubs and asked if there was anything else I needed to do. Their reply was "NO."

I got a letter back from the state saying I had been approved but the amount had been modified since Tim has started working as well as me starting to make money again. I was fine with modification...it only means we are getting closer to getting back on our feet.

I was supposed to get the credit yesterday but when I checked online in the early morning it wasn't there. Then the phone rang and "State Gov" popped up on the caller ID.

I answered and my crappy day began.

Number one: the case worker had me on speaker phone and I could barely hear her. Number two: she wasn't very friendly.

She told me she was calling because they were going to close my case because I hadn't supplied check stubs. I told her I had taken them by over three weeks ago and she quickly said "I have one, we told you that a month's worth were needed." I told her I HAD brought a month's worth and had the lady at the window make copies of all of them. She acted like I was lying to her and asked if I could fax them again? I told her I was headed out the door to go to Scottish Rite to visit a friend who's baby had just had a brain tumor removed and I didn't have a fax machine. She replied "There are fax machines at hospitals...there are fax machines at banks and there are fax machines at grocery stores." Then she proceeded to tell me the women at the front desk didn't know what was needed and weren't responsible for telling me what I needed to do. She asked if I had told them to mark it to HER attention? I told her I didn't even know HER name until five minutes ago and had never been informed that I NEEDED to mark it to any specific person's attention. She said that I was going to lose my benefits by the end of the day. I told her I had received a letter stating I had been approved and that the amount had been modified so I thought it was all taken care of. She said in fact it was my fault for not providing documentation that I hadn't received last month's payment and she didn't know if THIS month's payment would come through.

I was getting ticked by this point and my hot flash wasn't coming from my pre-menopausal state.

I told her I was a fifty year old woman who has never in her life had to apply for government assistance and when I DID apply was never told how to reapply or  who my case worker was much less that the women in the front office were obviously clueless as to how the red tape system works even though they are paid by it. As I made my last comment she immediately took me off speaker phone.

"Now we were getting somewhere."

I continued with my 'forced' rant and said I realize millions of people are sponging off  the government but I wasn't one of them. I told her it had been humiliating to even walk in their office to apply and was humiliating every time I had to use the card they had approved me for... but  have been working since I was 14 years old and paying into the system. She did the quickest 180 I have ever  heard screeching through the ear piece of a phone.

I realize  they deal with deadbeats and lazy people along with the people that truly need assistance, but don't treat me like a deadbeat until you are certain I AM one.  No one hates me being on government assistance more than ME...

I have called my "Case Worker" four times since , only to be sent to voicemail every time. I left a message every time to see if she had received the paperwork I took by the office after our initial 'chat' and wanted to ask if there was anything else I needed to do?

Finally got a voicemail back today while I was at work saying she had received my paperwork from the (obviously incomp's in the front window) who I bet all hate her now after our "Speakerphone Squabble" and maybe my case worker has realized sometimes Speakerphone isn't the best route to go until you are sure it is a deadbeat you are talking to.

She said the system is three weeks back logged. I guess that means it will be three more weeks until I get my credit from last month and my credit for this month.

I know some people "Work" the system...but obviously they have a LOT more spare time than me. I have jumped through hoops with Massey and her knee via the Peach Care system and seem to continue jumping for my empathy challenged "case worker."

You do what you have to do when your family is in need. I   for one, will be so elated when I am able to come off of assistance that I may even buy my ole biddy (oops, I meant buddy) of a case worker a vase of flowers from the grocery store...but it will be the kind that look real pretty but don't smell so great. Kind of like the whole way this assistance has made me feel...it stinks but it helps brighten my day.

On a lighter note I just picked Massey up (at midnight) from the high school. They had an away game and after working my double shift went to pick her up with "Ham" my Boxer in tow. He was so excited about the car ride that I realized even dogs suffer when you do. Sometimes they have to wait an extra day to get fed but they know it will come...eventually,  and love me even when they have to wait. The car ride was like a field trip to him and he was shaking with excitement the whole way there and the whole way back. Sometimes in life you have to take a step back and realize how truly blessed you are for even the small things. If it wasn't for  small things...how would you even know what   "Big" things are?

Til next time...going to bed and getting up to do  it all again. Massey has to be at the school at 9:00... I have to be at work at 10:30 AM and work til 10:30 PM when I pick her up from her first competition.

At least MY big competition is behind me and I am just letting the chips fall where they may. I am going so gray and losing more weight along the way but it is always nice to be skinny when you are a woman. It is time for me to take a step back, count my blessings instead of my gray hairs and focus on tomorrow. It gets better every day ...sometimes it is just hard to remind yourself  of that.

 I just need to shake my head to wake up that little hamster  in the wheel of my brain. I think I'll name him "CAN DO."

WHEW!!   It will all work out and I am almost convinced that it will.

I truly believe  God has given me the ultimate Final Exam and I am almost through with it. How much ya wanna bet I "ACE" it?

Call me the "Teacher's Pet" because I feel like I am!

COTTON

Big Weekend Coming Up

It is homecoming week at Massey's school. I had to miss the parade today because of work but my sis attended for me.

I have to miss cooking funnel cakes at the game Friday night because of work too...but work is a good word around our house and even Massey understands.

I go to work at 10:30 to work lunch and have to be back at 5:00. I am taking Massey dinner at the school between shifts and giving her a kiss for luck before heading back to work and will pick her up after the game.

I am working all weekend but on Sunday will go to another memorial service for my cousin. He was in the film industry and all his friends are having a BBQ/memorial that I wouldn't miss for anything. I have to work the brunch shift and will leave from work to go to the BBQ and then head back for a dinner shift.

It took me almost a month to figure out how to burn a DVD of his memorial service (one of the most uplifting I have ever attended) and have so far successfully burned eight discs.

I am so glad his kids and family...including friends can have a copy of his wonderful send off that will be a LOT like my own. Full of laughter, tears from the joy of memories and the feeling that you feel light when you leave,  not drowning in sorrow but happy to have known that person.

This month marks the one year anniversary of our "Big Slide" and I can say with all honesty that I finally feel like we will make it. We will be okay. Thanks to prayers ... not only charity but the genuine caring and compassion from so many people I truly feel that we can make it. It will be a long road, but at least I can SEE a road now.

My last load of laundry is drying and my pups are by my feet.

A former co worker of mine is at Egleston with their 18 month old daughter recovering from brain surgery to remove a tumor. Talk about a devastating blow.

My life pales in comparison to having a toddler recovering from brain surgery. Many prayers are going up for this little girl...feel free to add to them. Her name is Sunny Norman, God already knows who she is because he has already worked miracles in her favor. Pray for her parents who are exhausted but grateful and stressed beyond belief.

Going to bed once again counting my blessings. "Count your blessings, name them one by one and you will see what the Lord has done."

I think I need a calculator.
Til next time...COTTON

More God Bubbles...

That's me in the middle and all my problems trying to crash the party.

The thing is, I am so surrounded by love and care that it makes it difficult NOT to smile. Massey and one of her best friends have a "God Bubble" theory (see past post). When you surround yourself with God you are in a God Bubble. When you do for others that Bubble grows bigger to encompass them as well. As you love more, the bubble continues to grow.

My family is currently floating like a HUGE God Bubble and there is no better place to be.

I got a lot done today before I went to work.

Made the rounds, Dept. of Labor...I'm not sure they understand the significance of needing unemployment insurance. I filed over two weeks ago and have yet to receive a payment. The lady told me it was still in the process stage and to wait another week and come back if I hadn't received a check. At least it hasn't been denied so I guess I may still get some help.

Next was DFACS...another office that I wait in line semi patiently to speak as quietly as I can to the clerk. Not that it should really matter, we're all there for the same reason. They needed "One more pay stub" and I finally found it on Saturday when I cleaned out the garage. I never saved my pay stubs because I never actually got a check. Not knowing my crappy manager was going to fire me I had thrown it in a trash can in the garage. Once DFACS needed it I was almost sure it was long gone but my God Bubble had left it for me to find and now THINK I have turned in all the paper work I need to get assistance.

Next to the post office to mail off the kid's insurance payment since it needs to be there "Yesterday." Massey was with me and once again the government kept up it's snail slow movement and it seemed to take forever to hear "Next in line."

There was an old codger behind us who turned around in line to strike up a conversation with the guy behind him.

I swear he sounded like he had a microphone in his hand. I didn't turn around to look, like the two women in front of me did. The stare Massey gave me inclined me to just stare straight ahead as I cracked up at what I was hearing.

First off, Mr. Microphone talked VERY loudly about how a stamp used to cost three cents and what are they doing with all that money anyway? Then he commented on the back room you could see."Lookit all them buggies filled with mail , how they know where its all supposed to go?...it's a wonder my mail don't end up in China." He veered off into a one man conversation about a hotel that burned down in downtown Atlanta...Winecoff or something like (it IS Winecoff...my cousin told me via email, Thanks, Neal) that and immediately started another thread of conversation about how his buddy could surely shoot some pool...never seen the likes of a man that could clear a table like he did.

I finally HAD to turn around, (with Massey GLARING at my back) and saw that this ole codger was speaking to a young Asian man that appeared to not understand one word that this old gentleman was saying but had a very pleasant look on his face which obviously encouraged the older man.

The older man's voice never got quieter or stopped...every person in that line (now 15 deep) was listening to this man and probably thinking the same thing I was...His wife probably sends him out on errands just to give her own ears a rest.

It was the highlight of my morning! I LOVE senior citizens, especially ones like this man. He is in his late eighties, no one has taken his driver's license away and "Dadgummit" he'll talk to whoever he wants to, whether they talk back or not! Massey commented on him having on old jeans and holes in the back of his shirt. I thought to myself he probably told his wife (at length) how he needed to change before he went out because you never know who you might run into or see or what could happen. She probably said "YOU LOOK FINE..just go on and get."

Then it was time to take Massey to practice and go home to get ready for work.

I had my very first busy night!!! I was so proud of myself. I faked what I didn't know, only had five tables and walked out with seventy dollars.

Came home from work to find one of my friends had stocked my cabinets and refrigerator with all kinds of groceries. They not only bring Massey home from practice for me...they bring home food to feed my family.

My God Bubble is BURSTING!!

I am back on the path but still have friends helping me make the climb much easier.

The smiles surely outweigh the frowns.

I am one lucky woman.

Til next time... ONE HAPPY COTTON

He is Risen and I'm on the Rise

These pictures are from our Easter dinner at my sister's house. I had to work today (a good thing) and Tim had to work tonight (another good thing) so we all met this afternoon after I got off at my sister's old farm house to enjoy a beautiful day of sunshine and celebration of not only Easter's true meaning but the true meaning of family.


My family has dwindled down to me, my sister and my brother. Of course my sister is married with kids , I am married with kids but both of our parents are gone and our last grandparents have been gone since I was in my early twenties, the first set gone before I was born.

My brother is a bachelor...thank goodness! He spends all his money on me and my sister and our brood of kids. He is hands down their "Favorite" uncle and our favorite brother!

He told us today at dinner that he was being transferred back to Orlando. God bless him, he has to get away from us because he has helped us out so much I am surprised he doesn't use call blocking on our phone numbers. I asked him today if that was Orlando, Yemen he was transferring to? Didn't get a straight answer but I am pretty sure it is the Orlando in Florida.

My nephews were there, with their sweeties and my one nephew's sweetie brought her daughter(seen in the photos.) A precocious girl who at the age of six is a tiny adult with the heart of a child. She fit right in with our eclectic family and seemed to have a ball.

Our family is an unpretentious one, accepting and loving and always welcoming. Yes we are Liberals and proud of it. We don't beat our beliefs into other people...they are our beliefs, every one should have their own.

The day was filled with kiddie fun for Ava, and wonderful food and drink for all. I am so blessed to have such a loving family and would be six feet under by now without them.

Work is getting easier and I am feeling my confidence coming back to me as a server. I have been stressed out like I was performing brain surgery instead of serving a meal on a dish. I know it will take a while to dig out of the hole we have gotten in but at least now I have a shovel.

Between family, friends and my shovel I know now that we will be okay...eventually.

For most people Facebook is a social network, for me it has been a salvation. Friends have written me, encouraged and supported me ..emotionally mentally and financially. Without my FB friends I really don't think I would have made it this far...literally.

Besides being grateful first for God and his Son this Easter, I am grateful for more. On top of having a Saviour that gave his life for me I have friends, family and even strangers that have kept my family afloat and given me the will to keep going in the face of overwhelming adversity.

The top picture is me with my nephew "Apolo Ohno." I could have posted a picture of me with my other nephew but when you can pose with "Apolo" or the guy from "Napoleon Dynamite" I think that one's a given. Granted my other nephew is handsome as well but when he wears his glasses he DOES resemble ole "Napoleon."

The other pics are of me and my girl, Massey and one is of my sister with Massey and Ava. The other is a photo of my 17 year old looking like the teen age son in "Little Miss Sunshine." (Great movie...a must see)

Click on them all to see them up close...that is how I feel about my family in a nut shell..."UP CLOSE."

Til next time , hoping you all had a blessed and happy Easter... COTTON TAIL

Santa's Getting Close...

I've had a rough couple of days. Working for a large corporation just isn't my cup of tea...I'll leave it at that.

I am glued to the radio station waiting for that magic song to play twice in a row. I have my sister listening now too. We have a network going...between me my three kids and my sister and her husband we are bound to have some advantage. I will admit that some of the songs are beginning to wear on my nerves but it is a small price to pay for a chance at five grand. The one that kills me is Elvis Presley singing "I'll Be Home For Christmas." The way he pronounces "MISS- ILL -TOW" instead of just singing "Mistletoe" drives me nuts. Listen next time you hear him singing it and you'll see what I mean.

Massey is all on board...I could tie her to an elf for a year and she still would love Christmas and all the music and trimmings.

She is so upbeat about everything she makes Richard Simmons seemed depressed. It's great to have a kid like her. She wears me out but is my best friend and keeps me going when I want to throw in the towel. We made cookies and cheese straws last night and had a wonderful time together. My cheese straws didn't turn out as good as I had hoped for...obviously there is a difference between ground red pepper and Cayenne Pepper. I bought some Cayenne pepper tonight at the store and will try it one more time. Massey is at practice and Zach is upstairs wearing his thumbs out on a game controller. TJ is on his way home from work and Tim is on his way to work.

Our tree looks beautiful and makes me feel better everytime I look at it. I finally finished my Christmas cards and will drop them off on my way to work in the morning. As Christmas rushes towards us at amazing speed, I have gotten into it more than I would have thought I would.

Things are still so tight you could strum a tune on them but we are finally making some headway and I have faith that next year will be a MUCH better year...if only I can make it ten more days and win that stinkin money from the radio station !!

Til Next time...COTTON BELL ROCK

PS Be sure to click on the pic of Santa...it's a good one!

Feliz Navidad

Well my four dozen chocolate chip cookies and pan of brownies didn't make it 24 hours in my house. I went to work at ten this morning and got off around nine tonight. The only thing left were crumbs and an empty platter.

The kids enjoyed them and I enjoyed making them happy. A friend emailed me the recipe for cheese straws so I guess I'll see how long THEY will last when I make them tomorrow! I may have to help with the rapid disposal of those (one of my favorites.)

It was almost 70 degrees outside today...complete turn around from yesterday and tomorrow is supposed to be in the mid twenties. Only in the South!!

Tonight was crazy at work (thank goodness) people are finally coming out for Christmas parties and thankfully a lot of them are choosing our restaurant. If my bad hip, carpal tunnel and corns on my pinkie toes don't get any worse I think it will be a good run at work the next couple of weeks. The renovations are in their final days and the store looks great and that is a big boost for business.

Tim has gotten another part time job...doesn't pay much but will be a definite help. I cannot say enough about the resilience and amazing faith that my husband has shown over these last few months. As if living with me wasn't enough of a challenge he has remained steadfast in his belief in himself and has been a great stay at home dad to our kids. He has them spoiled rotten with his taking them to school every morning when he gets home from work and cooks for them when I am at work .

It has been a crazy year for us but thankfully it is almost over and we are all looking ahead to the new year being a great one for our family.

I am including a short video of our "Short" dog Charlie. He is short in stature and even shorter in the brain department. I got the vacuum cleaner out the other night and before it was even plugged in he went into battle mode...you know, "Shoot and run like hell." He is the biggest sissy around a Hoover that I ever met. He acts all big and bad but push the appliance toward him and he runs for the hills....or for the steps in his case. I just thought it was so funny I would share it with you.

Til next time... Algodon (Feliz Navidad) ...that's a shout out to mi amiga, Deb Stearns !

The other pictures are of Rosie the reindeer and the kids when it snowed one Christmas.

Christmas Cookin' at The Cotton's

Worked today...got off around five and headed out in the most dismal weather you can imagine. Cold and rainy. Seems to be the norm around here as of late. It will take my back yard til Spring to completely dry out. It was just drizzling so I stopped to pump five dollars worth of gas (my husband says the gas station attendants laugh at me when I do ) but it will get me home and back to work tomorrow and back home again where I have a gas can half full in case I finally misjudge.

I stopped at Publix to pick up some groceries for dinner since the radio said more rain was coming. I came out to a deluge...I think I may have even seen some cats and dogs dropping down. I parked my cart by the building , ran to my car and pulled up next to the store to load my groceries. I called the house from a couple of blocks away to tell Zach to open the garage door for me. He said he was snug in his bed upstairs. I told him I would "Snug" him if he didn't open the garage door that HE broke the opener for. It must have all come back to him because when I pulled in the drive the garage door was open.

Had a wonderful dinner, fixing a new recipe that I found in a magazine. Shrimp with Orzo pasta, fresh baby spinach... roasted grape tomatoes and feta cheese with fresh dill. YUM YUM...

Massey had practice til 9:30 so after dinner I baked chocolate chip cookies and brownies. The kitchen smelled wonderful with all the goodies baking. Three pups laying around my work space, Christmas carols on the radio (trying to win that $5000.00 from B 98.5) and I felt pretty content.

Zach wanted to go to Blockbuster and since I had forgotten paper towels at the store I took him . He seemed to take forever so I sent him a text "I am leaving." He sent me a text back "I am deleting your blogs." I got a chuckle out of that one! We swung by the store for paper towels and came back home to the delicious aroma of Christmas baking.

He's still stewing about being in a video on my blog but I think secretly he likes it. Massey came in from practice and had some dinner and cookies. My oldest son came through for us today with some rent money and I feel pretty good about life.

If ain't perfect, but you know what? It's good.

I have customers at work that come in almost daily and are like family to me (shout out to Miss Donna and Miss Sally) they know all about my three kids and ask about them on a regular basis. My daughter knows both of these women and has eaten or sat with them many times in the restaurant. My whole family knows about both of them from either meeting them or hearing me talk about them. It's nice to have extended family. To me that only means extended love and all of us can use that.

I am going to take my camera to work and take some pictures of my favorite customers...just to put faces with the words I write. I could do about ten blogs about the people I have met and come to love while working in my store.

It may sound crazy... and that is normal coming from me but I am almost looking forward to Christmas. I realize what I don't have but also see what I DO have. A great family..crazy kids to keep me laughing... a husband that loves me (he must be crazy too) and friends that have helped me every step of the way.

The cookies and brownies smell sweet and delicious but the thought that I am loved is the sweetest thing I can think of .

Merry Christmas...mine truly is "A Wonderful Life."

PS. I only put this pic of me and Tim on the blog because I looked so young in it (a little Christmas present to myself)

Til next time...Christmas Cotton

Guess I Need "Apps For Dummies"

I didn't mean for these pics to be so out of whack...but they are a few of my faves from Christmas' past. You can click on them and see them larger...Dang, GOOD TIMES...they WILL return!

Just got home from work, passing Tim as he heads out the door TO work. This reminds me of when we first got married and I worked all nights and he worked the early morning bakery route.

It was painfully slow at work although any shift at work seems painful to me these days.

Ran into a friend from FB in the restaurant. She was my brother's age so I really didn't know her in school. When you are younger 5 or 6 years difference in age means a lot. She was with her mother (still sharp as a tack) and since it was slow I had time to chat with them about growing up in East Point. We knew a ton of the same people and it was fun reminiscing about old times.

Came home and checked out Facebook to see about a zillion requests and invitations from various people. I don't normally look at them but since it said "over 100 other requests" I took a look. I really have no idea what any of them mean or whether I should respond. I see a lot of pillows beings thrown, hearts being sent, hugs given and the latest rage seems to be "someone sent you a Christmas present...you may not be able to open it til Christmas morning."

There's an idea! If only I knew what the presents were, maybe I could get up REALLY early on Christmas morning and unwrap them, decide which of my kids they would suit the best...re wrap them and put tags on all of them and scream upstairs "SANTA CAME, SANTA CAME...come look what he brought you!!"

Luckily my kids are old enough now to realize that this will be a slim to anorexic Christmas and still they seem okay with that.

You know, Massey really likes those little white powdered doughnuts and Zach would be happy with two huge boxes of Lucky Charms (they're magically delicious.) I think my oldest son would be happy finding out Christmas morning that we are still letting him live here and eat up all our food and we will continue to feed his dog as well.

I get nervous when I click on an app and it says "by clicking on this application you give full access to your profile and information, etc..." It's not like I work for the FBI or have anything that anyone would want, but I worry about viruses and the last thing I need is a computer crash.

My friends on Facebook have been so supportive and nice to me that I feel bad not accepting their various gifts. HEY! I could use a hug, a kiss..a heart given, or even a Christmas present but I have no idea what it means, other than people are sending well wishes my way. Call me stupid (you'd be right) but I am just not that into all the apps, mafia wars and farmville stuff. Just connecting with friends is enough for this old girl. Knowing my luck I would click on an app and it would be one of our creditors. This close to Christmas I just can't take that chance.

Christmas will be fine, I am sure of it. Years down the road we will all laugh and talk about "Do you remember that ONE Christmas when we got powdered doughnuts , Lucky Charms and you let TJ keep living in your Old Lady's room?"

I am going to HAVE to get over the hate that I feel for my job, suck it up and work my butt off from now til Christmas. Get the bills paid and somehow go and get at least one nice small present for each of my three kids. And you know what? Knowing my kids like I do, they will be grateful for what they should . We are making the best of a bad situation and still have a home, heat and food . Granted there has been lots of tomato soup and grill cheese sandwiches...but this too shall pass!

Everything will be okay. I have plenty of decorations in the attic and can go back in the woods and chop a tree down. What matters is that we are together and love each other.

Dang! I can hardly wait for the Christmas we all sit around and laugh about this one.

Til next time... a truly grateful Cotton