I'm Not THAT Stupid!

So I woke up around nine this morning and started watching my new favorite/ can't stop watching show, Breaking Bad. I'm as addicted to this show as the meth heads are addicted to the product they make. Finally at one I had to MAKE myself turn off Netflix. My younger son bought Netflix for the house and got me watching and now I simply can't stop.

The phone rang so I wandered downstairs to the kitchen to answer.

A man with an accent as thick as the hair on my winter legs asked for Kelly. I fessed up it was me. Then he goes into a broken English one sided conversation about how he was with the IRS and there was a problem with my taxes requiring my immediate attention. He asked for me to get a pen and write down my case number and name of the agent assigned to my case in Washington. I took the number down mainly because in actuality Tim and I DO have some problems with the IRS stemming from a couple of guys who made Tim the fall guy in a trucking business they all had a few years back. We're unfortunately stuck with a $28,000 payroll  penalty tax we are having to pay off. Of course I didn't mention this but as the guy kept talking about how important it was I contact my caseworker, I began to question HIM!

It went something like this:

"So let me get this right. The IRS is calling me on a Saturday afternoon to let me know there is a problem with my taxes? Number one , you don't even sound American. Number two, you sound like somebody I get on the phone when I call my cable company for technical support and somebody in Indonesia answers."

The guy went on and on when finally I simply said "Yeah, right" and hung up the phone. I started worrying maybe he was legit so I called the number he had given me to contact my caseworker. A man picked up on the second ring and said "Internal Revenue Service." I immediately hung up. Crap! Were we really in MORE trouble?

Then I decided to put the phone number into the Google search bar and see what came up. There were at least five queries saying it was a hoax and that the number I had dialed was in fact a cell phone in Washington but not related to the IRS.

I started thinking about what happens when he calls old people, not too smart people or illegals worried about their immigration status.

I didn't give the guy any information, just an ear full. I know times are tough, no one knows that more than us but to scam people on a cell is pretty stinking lazy if you ask me.

Tim wasn't home at the time, he had gone to the park to walk. When he got home I told him about the call.

He said the guy had called around nine this morning and asked for me. Tim knew I was downstairs getting my Breaking Bad fix and didn't want to bother me so took the number down himself. He called the number right back and a man answered. When Tim said to the man "You sound exactly like the same guy I was talking to ten seconds ago" the man hung up on Tim.

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed but for Pete's sake, how stupid do you think we are?

What worried me more is that obviously these guys are getting a few people's financial information out of them and possibly stealing money or they wouldn't keep doing this.

All our (unfortunate) dealings with the IRS  have always been through certified mail. Actually one time they DID make a house call but after setting up an appointment via certified letter. It was nerve wracking and I let Tim talk to him in the living room while I stayed upstairs. I came downstairs to sign papers and scooted from the room as soon as my name was signed on the dotted line.

I should have known better from the jump but when you already owe the IRS you get nervous. The IRS gets our tax returns for the next seven years plus we're on a payment plan for the rest. At least the IRS has the courtesy of paying for certified mail to let you know.

I went into work feeling better knowing it was a hoax. It was pretty slow again but got lucky with a few great tables.

Tim was off today so I had Zach take me to work at four and then he took the car to his job at five. I got off around nine and caught a ride to where Zach works. I was starving so Zach asked me if I wanted something to eat before taking the car home? I told him I would love some wings so he ordered me some. I saw him at the counter with his credit card and went around to pay for them myself. I handed the waitress a twenty and said not to take Zach's card. Zach took the twenty out of the waitress's hand and made her put it on his card. He stuffed the twenty in his back pocket and thought to myself "What just happened and where did my twenty dollars just go?"

I didn't say anything then but when Zach brought me my box of wings to take home just said "Use that twenty to take a cab home tonight."

I suppose it's the thought that counts.

Zach has been good to us though, helping out with bills and can't say I don't enjoy his Netflix account tremendously.

It's getting better around here, slowly but surely. At least I know now we don't owe the IRS any MORE money. My job has been a blessing, the boys are pitching in when we need it and know God will provide Tim with a good job soon.

Ate my wings when I got home, even shared some with Tim. Now I'm going upstairs to the living room to watch Breaking Bad again...yep I'm a junkie for the show.

Talked to my girl at college for a few minutes, took the dogs out and now it's "Me" time. I've learned that "Me" time is a necessity I ignored for way too long.

As Alanis Morrisette so eloquently said "We're broke but we're happy."

Til next time...COTTON

Love Me Some Monday!

Of course I would wake up at six AM my only day off and be unable to go back to sleep. I refused to get up so just watched the news and  weather shows til noon. Feeling finally rested I got up and hopped on my honey, Johnny Dear to cut the back yard which was in dire need of cutting. It takes so long for it to dry out enough to ride my my big heavy Johnny back there but my next  day off is Monday and by  then the dogs wouldn't be able to see over the grass and I wouldn't be able to see them out there either! Since shattering my dining room  window a few weeks back , I'm scared to even cut anywhere close to the house so it takes me thirty minutes to weed eat around the kitchen door and remaining dining room windows. Then I get back on Johnny raising the blade up one level starting in the center of the yard around the fire pit and cut going the opposite way to blow all the clippings out until I reach the fence so the yard is free of grass clippings the dogs would love to tramp into the house with covering   all twelve paws. Cutting the yard is a science to me. I feel like I have my degree in Yardology. Then I rake up all  the clippings from around the back door and windows and dump them in the fire pit which isn't really a fire pit when it rains for a week...it's a small  pond surrounded by huge rocks I toted home one by one from building sites when nearby neighborhoods were being built.

Yes I am a scrounger, but has brought me many great results. Case in point:

This was my front yard on the fourth of July...

And this is my front yard nine days later!

This was my side yard nine days ago

And  this is my side yard today

Bam! There you have it folks, all for Free Ninety Nine and all it took was eight trips to and from the sod pile and a couple to and from  the dumpster. I know all my neighbors were looking out their windows at me nine days ago telling each other "Look at that insane skinny old woman who lives across the street putting down dead scraps of sod." Today they looked out their windows and wish they knew where I got it!

After finishing the back yard today I jumped in  the shower and Massey and I headed up to Little Five Points in Atlanta. I usually always drive but Massey has never really driven on the interstate and it's high time she learns, especially since she starts at Georgia State University next month  smack dab in  the middle of downtown Atlanta. She asked if I felt safe with her driving and told her there was only one way  to find out. Off we went!

She did great. It gets a little crowded when you  get to Hartsfield  Airport but by  then you only have fifteen minutes to go. I snapped this picture when we rounded the curve in East Point, the town I grew up in. It's the first glimpse you have of downtown Atlanta and is always a sight to see. Today it suddenly became hard to see because the rain started.

Massey commented "So I guess this is God's idea of a funny joke. Let's make it rain the first time Massey  drives into downtown Atlanta."

No worries, five minutes later the rain stopped and we were now just ten minutes away.

It gets hairy once you  hit the city and people drive like idiots but my girl did great!

I even felt safe enough to multitask and take pictures. When you  hit the Grady curve even a seasoned driver sometimes thinks "Yikes" so I concentrated on telling her which lane she needed to be in to get off at  The Carter Center/ Freedom Parkway exit. When she pulled to the first stop light on the Freedom Parkway we high fived.

When I was a teen we drove into Atlanta at least once a week when just sixteen but it was a lot smaller city then.

I'm not sure who was prouder, me or her when we pulled into The Junkman's Daughter parking lot. We walked around our favorite part of Atlanta simply window shopping and people watching. We finished up at our favorite store,  Rag O Rama and I bought a cute print top for $6.50. Massey bought a beautiful black linen top for $8.00.

This isn't the black top she bought but is the girl who drove her momma smack into the middle of the busiest city in the south east. I have exactly thirty nine days left with her then she'll be gone. If she loves the college life like I did, I won't be seeing much of her. Of course I loved college life for different and totally wrong reasons...that's what going to Georgia Southern College did back then in the late seventies. My Diddy drove me and my room mate who I never met until the morning we picked her up to ride down with us to Statesboro early in August. We didn't go home until Thanksgiving.

The good thing is I am still dear friends with my college room mate. As you can tell from  the photo she is still a doll and Massey loves her to death, just as I do!  The peeps you meet in college are usually friends for life.

I hope Massey makes life long friends too. It's a bittersweet feeling I have about this. I'm losing my "Bestie" and she's off to make new ones. She's always chosen friends wisely so there are no worries there. I just hope I don't lose my spot in line.

I actually teared up when I wrote that last sentence.

Guess I better get used to it. It's hard to send the last one off. It's hard to think that the day you  thought about for years and years is less than forty days away.

She's always been a princess. She almost killed me and herself just coming into this world but we both survived.

 She's given me more good times than bad and being a momma who raised two boys first knew that would happen but was thrilled about how few bad times happened with her!

So she's off to make her mark in the world next month! At least now she knows how to get there.

I love my boys and I love my girl. All three are different but all three are equally loved. All three have chosen different paths and directions but at least they are branching , reaching and moving in the right direction.

Looks like soon the neighbors will be looking out their windows saying "Look at that crazy old skinny woman wandering  around  aimlessly."

I still have over a month, just preparing myself!

Til next  time...COTTON