Life's Crazy

Our life has been such a (mostly) downhill spiral for so long that was almost resigned to the fact. Then I landed my job at the airport (small pun) and shortly after Tim got on with a wonderful company who moved him up after just six months or so. Granted they transferred  him a thousand miles away from home but even after just a week have realized absence does make the heart grow fonder.

This is my absolute favorite picture of Tim with our daughter. She was in first grade but now almost through her second year of college. She misses her daddy, always been a "Daddy's Girl" and steadfastly been his biggest champion. I, on the other hand  (in hindsight) put a lot of negativity in our relationship after years of being broke. Somebody had to take the brunt of the blame and didn't feel like it should be me so made him the bad guy in my selfish mind because he had so much trouble finding a good job too. Yes I can be a bitch. But at least I know and admit it. That's something isn't it?

Tim called yesterday from Texas. Just to talk. The last time he called just to talk was in the 1980's.

The first time we talked about what bills were due and where to find them. He had found a room to rent and moved out of the hotel and told me a little about the place. We talked for a few minutes and before hanging up told him I was off all day and could call again later if he wanted. We have always ended phone calls with "I love you" and "I love you too."

 Life's short.

He called again later. I can't remember a second call just to talk,  ever!

I should have this motto etched on the back of my eyelids.

He's out there all alone in a place he's never been and doing it for not only us but me!

The room he's renting has a twin bed. He's over six two. He said his feet hung off the end. Bless ole Jed's heart, he's a good man.

I will mention one thing he said in the second call which made me smile. He said "I miss the dogs."

We have three kids and three dogs. Guess who complains the least and seems the happiest?

To me, dogs are totally therapeutic. If hadn't had these three pups to talk to the past few years I would be insane(r) by now. They've torn up the house, in the winter they plow up the back yard, sometimes get in fights (with each other none the less) and think they own the furniture but dangit we love those pups! If you don't feel good or have a bad day they instinctively and always know it.

If you have a really busy day and don't have a lot of time to spend with them; they'll look at you like that's okay too.

And it is.

My dogs have had to wait until the next day for food and still loved me. (even more when finally set down three bowls of food)

I've heard Tim complain to the dogs about me. I've done the same thing with them about him. They probably all three think we're both nuts!

I'll be honest, our three pups somehow hold the entire family together and are one of the few things we all have in common and care about equally.

I think they earned the furniture privilege. It's all at least twenty years old anyway and not like they're living at the Ritz. Heck, I had one of them's nuts chopped off in less than thirty minutes.  I think even they realize that much, and more times than not humble with wants and needs.

Maybe I should have given birth to puppies instead of babies. No that wouldn't work, dogs don't live long enough. Unfortunately, they're definitely a short fix.

I gotta have someone who can fill out the paperwork for me when  get shoved into an ole folks home much to the (probably by then) well earned and deserved pleasure of my future son and daughters in law.

All I ask is shove me somewhere that will let me have a pup.

I'm kidding about having had a litter instead. My boobs are way too small.

Our three kids are all composed of tiny microcosms, bits and pieces of us both miraculously put together by nature and God. All different yet all the same. They're ours.

They wear me out and can try me but also give me the greatest joy I've ever known.  I see some extremely wealthy people come into where I work with some (not all) pretty terrible kids (begrudgingly) in tow. What kid acts miserable when their parents are taking them to Greece, Amsterdam or Paris?

They don't have a clue how the other half (or nine tenths) live. My daughter was beyond thrilled to just get a pass through security so she could eat there...and wasn't flying off to anywhere. She rode MARTA with her momma to eat there and rode MARTA back to the borrowed car we used.

I'd take my kids over them any day of the week and all weekend long. They've seen Tim and me struggle these past few years and realize now, at pretty significant stages in their own lives  how quickly it can (and will) change.

Life comes with no guarantee, many hidden clauses and a lot of fine print.

I'd say we have about six more months of struggling but should have our heads out of the water and feet firmly in the black. Well maybe the really really dark almost black red.

Both Tim and I have absolutely fantastic jobs now and (God willin' & the creek don't rise again)  finally on the right path again. Our secure future is so close ahead we can wave at it now.

It appears to be absolutely stunning from where I'm standing.

The last few years haven't been easy but wouldn't change them even if I could.

We went from having everything we needed to pretty much scratching and scrambling for everything needed just to keep this house and family afloat. Essentially we've been living on an ark.

Our ark will be paid off in under three years.

I'll never forget these past few years and now not only realize how hard life can be but understand even more how priceless and fragile this exact very instant in time really is.

Life can change or simply choose to take you completely out of the game before a second hand on the clock can start to tick forward once.

Tim and I are literally a thousand miles apart right now but closer than we've ever been in over half a decade.

I'm gonna stay and dance with the one who brung me!

Til next time...COTTON

When It Rains It Pours...Good And Bad

Almost midnight. Just walked in the door from work. Through being a server til next week, now just have to sell some furniture for a couple of days and my work week will be complete. It's been much easier on me having the two jobs and  get a lot more rest.

Massey comes home tomorrow night and I'm looking forward to a big hug and hearing all about her trip to Disney. Special shout of thanks out to the wonderful  family who took her with them on their own family vacation and made her feel like a part of the family. It's been a great spring break for her and gave me lots of time to work and get some bills paid.

I got to spend some extra time with Zach, something I don't do nearly enough and enjoyed the time with him. We are too much  alike...WAY too much, and frequently butt heads but usually just agree to disagree since each of us always thinks we are right. (I'm almost always right, unless you  ask him)

He took me out for lunch several times this week...always to his favorite place (Mother's Kitchen) and every meal was delicious and always an uplifting experience. The people there make you  feel welcomed and you leave full in the belly AND soul. They have really taken a shine to Zach and simply call me "Zach's Momma."

Zach had me really worried this time last year. I now feel nothing but pride for how far he has come. He's working hard, saving his money and keeping on  the straight and narrow. Couldn't ask for much more. Well, I could but it ain't gonna happen so I'm happy with what I get.

I woke up last night to go to the bathroom and found Zach on  the computer at 2:30 in the morning. I asked him what he was doing and he said "Talking to TJ on Facebook."

I went back to bed smiling.

My little Beemer will be ready by Wednesday. We got a loan to pay off the repairs and Zach is going to pay off the loan and have a nifty 1995 black BMW 325i convertible as a first car. Tim and I are buying a Volvo station wagon from the guy who sold Tim his and making payments on it. Looks like we'll all have a car soon and that will make my life even easier.

I used to think my life totally sucked, and for a while it seemed like it did. I used to think "Who would want our life?"

I got the answer in a most unusual way.

The picture above is Tim and me taking our vows at our wedding. The guy behind Tim is his best man. They were best  friends in high school and have remained close throughout the years.

When I first met Tim and his best friend, they immediately reminded me of Bill and Ted, trying to have  an excellent adventure. Our future best man was Ted and Tim was Bill. Trust me...it was a close comparison.

Ted ended up doing a lot better than us financially. They have a really nice house,  rental properties and two kid's who both went to college, one graduated and another currently attending Ga. Tech.

Why couldn't that be us? They seemed to have everything. They are a great couple and have always been good friends of ours, but sometimes I wished we had their lives instead of ours.

Then my husband got the call from his friend last week.

Their son had just been diagnosed with Hodgekins Lymphoma and scheduled to start chemotherapy immediately.

I mentally smacked the crap out of myself on both cheeks, sent up a prayer for Kevin (their son) and thanked God for having three kids who may at times, not had a lot and certainly at times tested me  but have always been healthy.

The revolution of my whole world did a 180...as did theirs.

 “When you think things are bad,
when you feel sour and blue,
when you start to get mad...
you should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, Duckie,
you're really quite lucky!
Some people are much more...
oh, ever so much more...
oh, muchly much-much more
unlucky than you!”  (Dr. Seuss)

I am praying so hard for this kid. I am praying so hard for his parents. I am praying hard for his sister.

It makes me ashamed I ever griped about my own life.

I've had almost 66,000 hits on my blog. If each of  you just send up one prayer for this young man that would be awesome.

God answered  many prayers for my own family these past few years and were just paltry requests compared to this one.

I can't imagine how they feel... well I can but it makes me sick to my stomach.

God Bless Kevin and his family...and we're behind you 100% !

Til next  time...Cotton

Can Anyone Multi Task Like a Woman?

When looking for a picture for my blog I came across this one and it made me laugh out loud...Mainly because when Tim and I first got married we had a lawn mower exactly like this and I used it for over two years to cut our grass. I had to hold the handle halfway down where the bars were broken with one hand and guide it along from the top of the handle with my other hand. Talk about a work out! Thank The Lord I was still in my twenties. I tried fixing the handles with duct tape time after time like any sensible girl from the deep south would do and quickly learned duct tape was highly over rated.  The next push mower I  bought was  $40.00 and a piece of junk that barely made it through two seasons of me wearing it out once a week after I brought it home but felt like riding a John Deere while standing up in  the seat and moving my legs one in front of the other and  was pretty happy about it...at least the handle stayed up the entire time!

After years we finally bought a brand new house and after pushing almost two acres for a while bought a riding mower from Tim's boss. It was a Craftsman, older and only lasted a year before backfiring extremely loud in the front yard one day and never cranking it's ugly head again.

My brother in law saw a John Deere for sale chained to the fence by a house around the corner from my subdivision and called me. (Thank you Harvey!)
 Just like I do ...I went and made friends with the ole dude and asked the guy to let me post date a check and drove my baby home! Johnny has been good to me and once the check cleared we were engaged! (Huge pun intended)

I've had to replace three belts two blades one tire and some "thingy" under the seat but he's my baby and I love him!

I opened the restaurant today but got cut by one and had to be back by five. I turned into my driveway while unbuttoning my work shirt and was in shorts and a tank top five minutes later, cranking Ole Johnny up.

I cut the back and side yards, weed eated the entire back yard and  swept the back porch so  the mutts wouldn't track in all the clippings.

 My boss had sent me home with an empty five gallon oil jug from where they fill the fryers at work.  I emptied all the motor oil still sitting in the driveway from when Zach  changed Tim's oil into it...having to throw away my lemonade pitcher he had used after the oil pan container overflowed. BTW did you know that a Mercedes 320ML takes over eight quarts of oil? The guy at the auto parts store told me some Mercedes take twelve quarts. We're talking synthetic oil  and it ain't cheap!

 The jug wasn't full so I emptied all the glass jars I had in the kitchen stored under the kitchen sink. My Fry Daddy broke a while back and I was using old pickle jars to get rid of old grease. The jug was full by  the time I got through and I had ten minutes to get back to work. I took a towel and brushed all the grass clippings off my legs and feet. Pulled back on my tights  and skirt for work, put my back brace on and reapplied up my always minimal make up. I got into my car and put the top down for the drive back to work. Nothing blows grass out of short hair like driving a convertible fifty miles a hour for eight minutes!

I went back into work with no minutes to spare asking another co worker as I buttoned up my work shirt over my back brace if I had any grass clippings still in my hair?  My "Used" to be dear friend said "Only one...no wait a minute that's just a white hair." Heck! She should have pulled THAT one out first!

It was slow at work and I was off before dark. On my ride back home (with the top up) I pulled a plug of grass out of my ear and flung it out the window. I didn't make much money tonight but it was awesome pulling into the driveway not seeing motor oil sitting in pans and how nice and trim my yard looked. That's worth a lot to me.

I may not be a lot of things. I'm not the greatest mom although I strive to be. I am a hard woman to be married to but a hard working woman,  which has so far kept my husband from killing me in my sleep. (thus far)

You know...I used to think I had it bad (which we did for a while) but somehow we made it.  Thanks to Help from above and help from around. You get what you give and that's why I am constantly cramming every possible task into every possible opportunity.

I saw a post today my sister in law from California made from Dr. Seuss and it just struck me once again how brilliant the man was.

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?'

That's my mantra...and that's my goal.
 Til next  time...COTTON

Back to Two Shows a Day...

Had me a big fat day off yesterday. It's turned into Siberia here in the deep south and when I came home from work Tuesday afternoon I vowed  to not step out of my house until I had to be back at work. I cooked Chili for my family and all the teens that somehow miraculously show up when I decide to cook. ( must be an app on their smart phone) I went out begrudgingly, on Wednesday for gas and some groceries but was back in my comfy slippers long before the sun went down. We heated up left over Chili and munched on a massive coffee cake I bought while at the grocery store. I was in the bed by nine and LOVIN' IT!

I went to sleep and woke up three hours later in a pool of sweat so deep you could dive into it and not hit your head. I ain't kiddin'.

I've only experienced night sweats sporadically for about a year but the past month somebody turned the heat up WAY too high and is trying to kill me by drowning me... in my own sweat. I wake up literally soaking wet and five minutes later add another blanket and a pair of Tim's tube socks. Two hours later I am stripping again and then two hours later hunting around in the dark for the tube socks I hurled across the room in a fit of sweaty rage.

I went into work today and limited myself to one pot of coffee. I came home on my break ... stripped climbed into bed and a tee shirt ... lay flat on my back (to not muss my haircut I got on my break ...less than twenty bucks with a 20% tip and my makeup that took five minutes to apply this morning)

I went back into work this evening to have the honor of  waiting on two older women I have waited on before.

The two women, one in her eighties and a buddy (my kind of table) said I looked too skinny and I told her I was losing weight because I was currently sweating out at least five pounds a night.

They had a great meal and loved my comedy routine. When I went to give them the check, they fought over it but one of the women slipped me her card..."She won!"

I got to the computer to scan her credit card and noticed she had given me her driver's license. I  went back to the table and  simply said "You won the check but can't pay the bill with this...although now I know where you live and how much you weigh."

The other older woman said "What would you have done if she had handed you her insurance card?"

I told her I would have run out the back door,  to the nearest Emergency Room and demanded for  someone to stop me from sweating away the last ninety pounds I had left."

The next table I had was a younger couple. The wife said "I love your haircut...where did you get it cut?'
I told her at  a military base." She asked "Really?" and I said "No but that's what my husband says."

They had a great meal and I  wowed them with I think is what one of  my greatest advantages...my humor and obvious PHD in BS that I have honed quite masterfully.

It was slow at work but I made enough to keep the cellphones on...for another day. I've figured out how to work the system there too! Number one, Verizon won't go bankrupt without my own time payment. Number two even though cell phones seem to be a necessity now, especially when you have teens driving your vehicle, they fall way down the list behind mortgage, utilities and groceries. First off I DO try to pay them, I stop by and throw a twenty in the auto pay machine when I can remember to when I leave work if they are open. Number two if they don't harass me I sometimes forget about them and then suddenly I get a text or phone call from them saying I am due to be cut off. (Cry me a river Verizon, try walking in my tiny shoes for a while)

Now I've learned not to answer their call, they always want you to use a credit card to pay them (don't own one) or draft a check from your account (good luck with THAT one...tee-hee)

I wait for their next move...sending you a text. I answer the text which leads me to a number I can call and talk to no one but hear a menu to choose from. Press one to make a payment (no thank you) Press two to hear your balance (already know my balance...it's past due) Press three for more options. (BINGO)  Then after pressing three there is an option  "Notify us of a payment that has already been sent."  I have the number "three" programmed on speed dial . Then the automated voice thanks me sweetly for letting them know that money is on the way (which it isn't) but buys me at least four more days (five with a holiday thrown in.)  Then I go by when I can and put a twenty into their hungry automated pay machine . By  the time I get the text notification "This is to notify you of a missed payment arrangement" I usually have made enough money to repeat the process all over again!!

Dang...I should write a book! "How to be poor but survive AND Have Cell Phones."

I don't like not having a lot of money anymore...but it is temporary. Verizon has plenty of money, so does my bank. I look at it this way... "I am helping THEM help ME."

BFF's again. In this economy I am living by  the seat of my pants and the motto "A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." If Verizon doesn't like it I can go to WalMart and buy us all pre paid cell phones. (not really, WalMart pushes a check through like a line backer)

It's getting better, we're getting better and the economy is slowly getting better. I have done things I really don't like having to do but have somehow made it this far. Hopefully I will laugh about all of this one day when I am old... Who am I trying to kid? I "AM" old, but I'm not trying to get one over on anyone just trying to muddle through til the path is clear in front of me.

To be honest I am a firm believer in God and Karma. I may not be Mother Teresa, but I'm not a bad person and I still help others when I can. I know THIS system works because I have been helped these past two years by SO many people that it boggles my mind.

If you need help from me, just call my cell phone and press "Three."  :)

These night sweats, we're gonna have to talk about. For Pete's sake...I'm getting hit with another now.

My life is good...at least I am breathing and I am loved!

Til next time....Flashin' With Fury, COTTON

I Made It!

Well THAT was a weekend! I worked three back to back double shifts and lived through the nightmare...even managed to laugh a little along the way. I have a lot of self doubt and tend to be way too hard on myself but ask me my strong point and I'd say my ability to find humor in almost EVERY situation.

Friday was okay. I was on day number five of my work week and still felt semi fresh. Finished my Double, came home and cleaned house til after two in the morning. You are a little groggy when you wake up later that morning but will look around and see all you accomplished while "The Destroyers" were sleeping and it feels pretty darn good.

I'd rather wake up groggy, running late and step into a clean shower than be well rested enough to look around the shower stall and think "This is disgustingly dirty."

My Saturday double began to wear me out around two in the afternoon...not a good sign. I had a twenty minute break between shifts and went to "Medicate" my hooves. Bought corn pads for my darling "Pinkie" toes that were screaming so loud they had to turn the music up in the restaurant so customers wouldn't complain. Bought some callus cushions for the two bone spurs on the bottom of my feet that make me walk like "Festus" from Gunsmoke. It's a good thing my sis bought me a pair of Dansko's to wear at work or I would have asked if I could finish the night in my bedroom shoes.

Enter "John"... stage left.

He is a newer server that has been thrown into "Mother's Day Weekend Hell" for the first time at our store. Let me back up for a sec. We used to have a server named Janine. She tried, honest she did but just wasn't cut out for our store. She was like a bull in a china shop...no more like an elephant in a hamster cage. Everything she touched was a disaster. She would make herself a cup of coffee and it would look like she stirred it with a shovel. Coffee and sugar would be all over the place and you could follow the dripped coffee on the floor to find her if you needed her after she walked away with the cup in her hands. One night during the middle of a Friday night rush she knocked the printer off the expo window in the kitchen that sends checks to the cooks. When she fumbled to catch it (which she didn't) she knocked the container of steak knives off as well. When she tried to catch the steak knives she knocked over the container of pasta spoons. She was a nightmare. She was a nice nightmare, but it was kinda scary. When she had a night off and someone else made a goof up...we'd (mostly Dayna and I) would say "Way to go, Janine."

She reminded me of Hazel Burke trying to be a ballerina in an old episode of "Hazel."

Back to John...Saturday night was crazy busy and he has been sick lately and was still in recovery mode. He went to get the carton of half and half out of the small refrigerator we use and spilled it everywhere. I walked by and said "Way to go, Janine." He finally cleaned up the mess and filled the little creamer pitcher and turned out of the kitchen to take it to his table. He had several plates in his hand as well and as he walked by the computer I was using to put in an order I noticed he was spilling creamer all over the floor of the dining room. I softly(hard for me) said "John, stop." He didn't hear me til the third time and when he did , wheeled around to look at me and created a nice semi circle of half and half on the floor surrounding him. Bless his heart, even his customers were laughing.

We had the Latino dishwasher bring the mop bucket out and as she ventured into the dining room (NOT a place she spends a lot of time) she said "Where I go with bucket?" I told her to just follow John around .

He has a new nickname from me ...that means you ranked in MY book. He is now officially my bff..."John-neen."

Saturday I stayed up even later and glued a broken piece back onto my china cabinet after I emptied all the trash cans. I left an FB status that said all I wanted for Mother's Day was for the house to be cleaned, trash out ...dishes done and laundry caught up.

Oh, I worked THIS one. I printed off my status and left it propped up by the computer.

Then I went and got every dish and glass out of every bedroom, the den and the Man/boy/Cave...AKA garage and piled them in the sink. Then I emptied every laundry basket in the house and piled them in a heap on the laundry room floor with a note attached "Dirty."

Pulled every dish towel and hand towel. You could barely open the laundry room door.

I didn't expect a present... but asking for cleaning seemed like stretching it.

Of course I woke up with NO minutes to spare this morning and bolted out of the house. I did receive presents from both kid's still at home and it pumped me up...maybe they ARE paying attention !!

By the time it ended tonight I had worked 36 hours in the past three days. Wait a minute..."Is it still May?"

Guess I won the grand prize...the schedule was posted late tonight and I am working another double tomorrow. If I am going to perform more shows per week I expect a raise!

Finally got home and released my pinkie toes from those cruel things THEY call shoes. I looked around the house and I'll have to say they got a LOT done. It wasn't "MOMMY" done but it was DONE.

I will say as a woman that represents a LOT of women (married for at least 15 years)..."We always appreciate the effort but know we could have done a better job....That's just US!"

So tired but it's a GOOD tired.

The fam knocked my work load in half and to me...that is the greatest present a Mom could ever get. "WOOT WOOT and HOOTY HOOT!!"

Happy Mother's Day to every woman or every man.

Til next time...COTTON

Love Hurts...

Love hurts, Love scars. Love wounds, and marks. Raising kids... I'm not sure what worries me more. Am I doing an okay job or are THEY doing okay? When I was a kid, I would have never dreamed of the shape our society is in today. Unfortunately I am trying to raise my last two teens right in the thick of it. It scares me to the point of a physical ache. How can you make a teen realize you know more about life than them, when they think they know everything? You can't. You have to love them with every ounce and pound you can throw at them and hope that it sticks. You have to be there for them and hope they get it right...wonder if they don't get a second chance? Loving your kids hurts sometimes. Seeing them make foolish choices and having to help clean up after all the excrement hits the motorized air movement device seems to be an apt description of parenting a teen. You have to keep an eye on them and sometimes a closer eye on who they are hanging with. You have to be the bad guy and sometimes take the cold shoulder from them with a grain of salt. They think they know what they are doing but rarely do. They think you are an idiot when you know for a fact THEY are the ones acting like an idiot. You learn to take the roll of their eyes as a sign that at least they are hearing what you say. You start when they are barely toddlers and try to show them the way. They grow up to be rebellious teens and drift down another path ... you just hope one day they will come back to the path you lay out for them from the time they begin to walk. You pray a lot. Sometimes you cry and sometimes they fill you with so much pride and joy that you could pop! Other times you feel like popping THEM! I do not care if it takes them until they are thirty to grow up...just let them grow up to be the amazing person I know they are capable of being. I feel like I am sitting on the sidelines of their lives waiting for them to win the game. You can not play it for them but can cheer them on and tend to any injuries they may sustain. Being a parent is one big Doctor Kit. It is filled with remedies and band aids, prescriptions you hope they take correctly and lots of advice that is rarely taken. I used to think that was why doctors call it a PRACTICE. Now I know practice makes perfect...or at the very least helps one heck of a lot! The best a parent can hope for is that their kids have a very good memory and will wake up one day and remember all the lessons and things we instilled/pounded into them all their youth. Parenting should be called a PRACTICE as well. A practice in patience and a practice in persistence, you cannot give up on your kids, you simply must see them safely to the other side...Adulthood. Til next time...NOT GIVING UP COTTON

I Wish Lysol Made a BOMB...

Tim got out of bed today for the first time since Saturday morning. Massey got sick last Wednesday, tested positive for Strep on Thursday. Tim came home from work on Saturday morning sick and Zach came home from wherever he was on Saturday night sick.

I am sicker than ANY of them. I am sick of hearing their coughs. I am sick of seeing them lay around feeling miserable. I am sick of washing towels and scrubbing bath rooms.

I guess I am too mean to get sick (Thank the Lord for small blessings.)

It took Massey all weekend to feel better...Amoxicillin helped tremendously.

Zach never had a sore throat just a fever and a cough that made me cringe. Tim obviously had Typhoid Fever. He rarely gets sick but when he does he is ALWAYS seemingly at Death's door. He stayed sequestered in our bedroom...that I haven't slept in  since Saturday for fear of catching his "Disease." He would make an appearance once a day looking rougher than Otis Campbell after a week long bender. He would get something to drink and return to the "Dungeon of Disease."

Looking back I am tempted to blame it all on my oldest son who came by two weeks ago sicker than sin and stayed for three days, hacking his germs all over the place. I know that when kids get sick...even though they are 24 they love to be at home where they feel taken care of and know that at least some soup will be in the kitchen cabinet. TJ got lucky and we even had some NyQuil.  He started off staying in his old room on the bottom floor of our house but as he began to feel worse he felt he needed the sofa in the living room (which also has a cable box with 400 channels.) I bet he watched fifty movies while hacking his germs all over the second floor of the house. Once he had watched every movie on cable he decided to leave.

Oh,  he "Left" alright! He left his germs to infiltrate my house, infiltrate my other two kids and age me ten years.

I am not sure why I didn't get sick...and don't want to jinx myself by even wondering.

 I think after you  raise three kids a mom is immune to almost everything there is.

I had to work again tonight...I gave myself a day of doing nothing but watching TV and washing clothes. By 4:00  I felt like I had had a vacation and could go into work feeling a bit refreshed.

Massey has decided to do another season of Guard after her coach sent me an email about her talent and devotion and broke us down with another offer of a half scholarship. There was a meeting at the school for Guard tonight that was mandatory for parents. I had to work and Tim was sleeping off the last of his Typhoid Fever before returning to work.

Massey pulled out her big guns and talked her Uncle into taking her to the meeting. My brother in law went as a "Guard Uncle" and stood in for me. I told my sister on the phone tonight after work that we would get her husband a tee shirt that said "Guard Uncle Gone Wild."

So my house is a wreck...more sheets are in the washer. Lysol has taken over as air freshener and I am getting up in the morning (still sleeping on the sofa) to try and rid my house of the last of this deadly curse that has been hovering over our heads for the past two weeks.

If I ever experience a normal day again I won't know how to react. I am used to the crazy bizarre life I have been living for the past year and have even gotten used to the fact that "NORMAL" left my vocabulary and my existence a long long time ago.

What is even MORE bizarre is that it is starting to feel NORMAL!

Oops...the dryer just buzzed. Time to shove in another load and spray some more Lysol.

Til next time..."Cautious COTTON"

ONE MORE DAY !!

Just got home from work. My feet are killing me and I am dog tired (not that any of MY three dogs ever act tired.) Worked in the yards for three hours before I went to work and for a nice change it was sunny...but it was HOT. I went up and cut and weed eated the front of the subdivision and came back home and cut my elderly neighbor's yard.



Work was fairly busy and I didn't think it would ever end. I have had one day off since August and have worked 21 days straight since that one day off... it seems like a very vague memory (maybe I just imagined that I had a day off.)



I had a woman who ordered a sweet tea to drink and when I came back to get her husband's drink order who had just arrived she informed me that "This tea isn't SUPER sweet." I started to say that I was sorry, I thought she had ordered sweet tea, not super sweet tea. For Pete's sake ! I will have to say that people in the South are insane about their sweet tea. They seem to want it to be sweet enough to rot their teeth out before they leave the restaurant.

I told another server I felt like saying "You know what we SHOULD do is have like a little plastic holder on every table with let's say..Sugar, Sweet and Low, Splenda and Equal in it and you could just tear the top off of the individual packets and pour the contents right into your glass and then kind of swish your straw around and stir it up...Hey, LOOK we DO have those on the tables!"

If I'm not busy it doesn't bother me too bad, but when they see I have six other tables with six separate lists of wants and demands...Super sweet tea seems kind of silly to me.

It's like when a customer asks me for a straw. I often forget to bring one back because in MY mind I have moved on past the drink portion of the order taking process and have moved on to thinking about the dinner order. Sometimes they don't ask me again...sometimes they HAVE to ask again (if they a straw freak ) and my standard comedy answer on their third time asking is "I thought the answer to that would obvious by now, it's NO." I never use this one unless I know they already like me and know that I am busy and that I have simply forgotten (again.)

Another good one I use is when the order is being taken and someone will say they want Ranch dressing on their salad and then as an afterthought say "Can I change that to Honey Mustard?"
If I've already developed a good relationship with the table (which thankfully I usually do) I will shake my head sadly and say "I'm sorry, but I'm writing with a pen." That one is always good for a laugh and some customers have even had some good comebacks for it.

Let me say right here that I am a pretty good judge of who I can joke with and who I can't. If I didn't have this unique skill I would have been fired years ago.

I think my favorite story along these lines is when we had a promotion going on for shrimp appetizers. We had two different types. I was giving my sales pitch trying my best talking them into buying one of the two when the husband said "Why don't you just surprise me?"

I said "I am pregnant with your baby." That surprised him!!!

His wife was taking a sip of her drink and it felt like a "Lucy" episode. The drink actually shot out of her nose. We all had a good laugh over that one.

Tonight I had a family of four when I noticed the teen aged son's Sprite getting low, said I would be right back with another one. I got busy and as I cruised back by their table it was getting almost empty...I promised I was bringing another Sprite and went on to check on my other six tables. As I went by them again I said "I know this is the third time I've said I was bringing you another Sprite...but I MEAN it this time."

It's really not easy being a server. Let me correct that. It's really not easy being a GOOD server.

After 21 days on the floor, I know my nerves are wearing thin and my patience is running on empty.

ONE MORE DAY !!

I had to work late and got a text from my daughter ...it was important, she needed me to pick her up some purple panty hose before I came home from work.

I called her back right before I left and asked why?? She told me that tomorrow was SPIRIT day at school (it's homecoming week and the school colors are purple and gold.)

I told her that tonight was "Get your bedroom clean night."

I got her the purple tights and the bedroom was "Cleaner" when I got home.

I feel better now, I always do when I blog...JUST ONE MORE DAY!

Til next time, "Whipped" COTTON

Checked Out My Money Trail...

My daughter had a Winter Guard competition at our home school today.

It was my first chance to go to a competition since she has joined. I had to completely redo my schedule at work...been working the same shifts for years but since I am sinking WELL over 1/2 a grand into this...I decided to change MY schedule to fit HERS!

I was not disappointed. There were over 3000 people there from 41 different schools...pretty impressive.

This is the first time I have ever seen her perform with her group...I only have watched her practice in our driveway with one or two other girls.

She had one of the leading dance parts...knocked it out of the park and ALMOST, ALMOST made me glad I am throwing $800 to the school for her to be a part of this group.

This is serious business to these folks too. I never realized how dedicated these kids are, or how crazy the parents can be. I looked out of place without ten buttons and pins and banners on my shirt, pocket book and jacket...most Mom's were a walking display of their daughters.

One lady had a tee shirt on that read "GUARD MOMS GONE WILD"

I can pretty much guarantee that I won't be buying one of those!

All in all I was pretty satisfied with what I saw and the teamwork and camaraderie between all these girls.

And guess what?? My daughter's team won FIRST PLACE!!

I know it's MY own child, but they looked more professional and well rehearsed than any other JV team by far.

I left after she performed to go eat lunch and take the program by my work (they bought a $100 ad) so my boss could see it.

I went back to the school to sit with my daughter to watch the rest of the competition...it started at 1:00 and the last group performed at 8:30.

She was glued to my side. We had a wonderful time watching the other groups and I know that she was bursting with pride that she had her mother with her.(That doesn't happen often, so it was just as special to me).

Kids are a marvelous and fantastic thing...Just when you think they are killing you slowly, they bring you back to the realization that this person used to be in your belly and is an actual piece of you...physically, genetically and emotionally.

It was a wonderful and rewarding day...for her AND me!

I get to do it all over again tomorrow...and you know what? I am really looking forward to it.

It has brought us closer together by leaps and bounds...I can actually see it in her eyes and feel it in the way she doesn't mind me holding her hand while we sit side by side watching the other schools perform.

She is becoming quite a young lady. It makes me sad to see her grow up but proud to see what a fantastic young adult she is turning into.

Maybe I DID do some things right!! Ya just never know with kids...sometimes it's a crapshoot...and sometimes ya just get lucky!