Let The Party Begin

Made it home from work just after the stroke of midnight. Excellent way to start my birthday if you ask me!

Quick story about my ride to International today on the Sardine Shuttle. Working at the airport is certainly entertaining and there's never a dull day. Today was no exception.

I made it to the MARTA platform just as the train was pulling in and less than five minutes later was seated on the Sardine Shuttle. It was almost full but made it on. I took out my phone , checked my email and messages and sent a couple of messages as well. I could hear an Asian woman talking kinda loudly and her voice droned on and on as I was looking at my phone. I figured she must be excited about her trip abroad and was chatting with her fellow traveler. As we got closer to the terminal I closed my phone and drank all the water out of my water bottle so I could take it through security with me. I looked across the aisle from me and noticed who had been (and still was) talking so loud and animatedly in what sounded like Mandarin or "Chineekin."

The woman had on an airport uniform and was sitting right by the luggage rack. She was facing away from everyone else and seemed to speaking to the roof of the bus. The man next to her was simply staring at the floor of the bus and obviously wasn't with her. I noticed the young black girl (also an employee) seated next to me was trying not to laugh. I leaned over , whispered to her and asked if the woman had a blue tooth on? The girl started to giggle even more and shook her head no as the little Asian woman kept on ranting into the air. I asked who she was even talking to and the young girl said "Herself , she does it all the time."

You gotta be kidding me? We were almost to the International terminal, a twelve minute ride and she had been talking loudly the entire way, and still was.

I asked the young girl to move her purse off her lap so I could video this insanity. That made the young girl laugh out loud and quickly covered her face.

The older Asian woman was still chatting up a storm...with NO ONE!

Several passengers had also noticed and looked almost frightened.

I took out my cell again and put it on video. I held it straight at the woman (who never even looked at me) and she continued to ramble on in her native tongue.

I filmed for at least an entire minute before hitting the stop button.

The young girl next to me was literally cracking up and all the passengers were now just simply staring at the woman. It didn't bother the woman one bit, she continued to ramble the entire ride.

She had on a uniform for the the peeps who load food onto the planes.

I told the young girl sitting next to me, now wiping tears away that she could check in on Facebook in five minutes , I'd have it posted in no time on my wall.

We pulled into the terminal to get off and the woman was still talking loudly to NO ONE.

I've never seen passengers scramble off the shuttle so quickly.

The young girl and I walked in together and the she said "Oh, you'll see her on the shuttle all the time rambling to herself."

What kind of crazies are they hiring?

I know it doesn't take a rocket scientist to roll a cart of food onto a plane but would think her constant loud rambling would wave some kind of red flag.

I got to the restaurant and checked my phone in the back hallway.

Of course I hit the wrong button and only took a seven second video of my knees but trust me, next Wednesday I'll be looking for ole Looney Tunes on the shuttle and be ready to film it!

Work went great although ending up to be a really long shift and didn't get off til eleven.

Like the champ I now am, made the eleven twenty MARTA train back to the College Park station and was home by my birthday shortly after midnight.

So I'm now another year older.

Won't lie, it's been a tough year.

It feels good to be "Living" again!

Got home from work and Massey had cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom. (no small feat for MY Chica)

 She also bought me a huge bouquet of Sunflowers, renewed my Barnes and Noble membership card and bought me another Paulo Coelho book. (the author of 'The Alchemist')

So by now it's after one thirty.

 Doing what momma does. I'm folding one last load of laundry and having a drinky poo.

Headed over to my "Sista's" on my big day off for lunch with Massey and some of my sister's friends, then coming home and collapsing until Friday when  head back to Mama Lucia's for my weekly performance.

It feels wonderful to be loved!

Ain't THAT the truth?

So we haven't had a lot of money but have been flooded with love.

Guess that means we're RICH!

Thanks for following my journey and allowing me to share it with you.

I never thought at the tender age of fifty four would be starting over but am. At least I have Love backing me. That's a pretty powerful advantage!

Til next time...An Older COTTON

Rain Rain Go Away

This is what we deal with when it rains...times six. We have three big dogs and have to wipe twelve paws every time they come back inside the house. We leave a beach towel by the back door for them to stand on while we wipe their paws with another one. We use beach towels more in the winter months than we do in the summer. That's just the way it is when you're dog lovers and hope to keep at least a semi clean kitchen floor.

I had to be at work by three thirty so sent Zach out to crank up the older car my sister and bro in law are loaning us. It runs great but have to let it warm up for about ten minutes on the first crank of the day. It's a small price to pay for someone loaning you a free car for months when you asked to borrow it for two weeks. It has a small radiator leak but  always carry a gallon jug of water in the back seat. Today I came out and water was pouring out of the front of the car. No Bueno!

I cut the car off and popped the hood like I knew what I was doing. (NOT) I immediately did what you aren't supposed to do and opened the radiator cap. Thank goodness I'm a quick "Jump Backer." The radiator spewed all contents left and pretty rapidly. It was like a vehicular Tsunami. Zach was off in Massey's car going to a job interview and luckily answered my call. He came back and carted me to work, fifteen minutes late. Luckily they love me and know what horrible luck we have with vehicles and besides that it happened to be slow at the restaurant. (Finally some good luck)

It was a rainy chilly night, therefore all peeps hunkered down in their houses like it was a big deal. I've said it before and will say it again, JawJun's are scared of ANY inclement weather.

I got lucky and walked with over eighty bucks before eight thirty.

One of the other servers gave me a ride home. She's my buddy, a sweet girl who I call Lou Anne Poovy. (Remember her from the Gomer Pyle show?)  She's been wanting to meet our Bull Dog, Charlie and  can't much blame her, he's one ugly but cute pup!

I'm off tomorrow so at least have twenty four hours to figure out more car arrangements. When I walked into work really late I told the owner, "Us Cotton's got a lot of luck, it's just all bad." His reply was "Welcome to the real world."

I'm not sweating it, why should I?  It doesn't help anything but more gray hair and I have PLENTY of that.

It may sound crazy but I still consider us lucky. It gives me plenty to think about and plenty to be grateful for.

We're a dysfunctional down on our luck family unit who never give up and never will. I may be skinny, I may be broke but got so much positive MoJo going on around me that it inspires me to keep on keeping on. Wealth is over rated and love is underestimated.

I got more love than all the hippies at Woodstock thought they were experiencing. The difference is MINE is the real deal.

We are THIS close!

Til next time...COTTON

BOO to You!

This is my favorite Halloween cartoon.

So it's Halloween week once again. It was always such a fun holiday when I was a kid. By the time you were six or seven you could go out trick or treating alone with your friends and your parents stayed at home...it was that safe and no one even had a cell phone. If they wanted you home they simply stood on the front porch and hollered your name. Boy have times changed.

By the time we moved to Newnan,  TJ maybe went trick or treating once, throwing a sheet over his head with two eye holes cut out and dragging around a pillow case for his candy bag but Massey and Zach were at the perfect age and enjoyed it immensely. I still have this picture framed and on my kitchen wall.

Not to be left out, I've had a few costumes of my own.

There was the year I was working at Western Sizzler  (as I now call it) and went to Waffle House and borrowed a complete uniform from a waitress who worked there. I thought the blacked out front tooth and hair net was a nice addition. I would greet every table with a loud "Good Morning!" The next year they banned us from wearing costumes.

The restaurant I work for now encourages us to dress up...gotta love a family owned business!

Made this costume myself for five bucks! I wore it two years in a row but this year I'll be Peter Pan at the Mattress store where I also work so I'm getting three years out of my five dollar investment! I guess I need  to  check and make sure it's alright but  can't see  them telling me no unless I was dressing as Miley Cyrus in her Twerking outfit.

My new funny Halloween fave is a video I saw on the Ellen show.

I laughed so hard I cried. I bet I have watched it ten times and still laugh every time! 

It's nice to be able to laugh again. I mean I always tried to keep my sense of humor but for a while there it was pretty tough going and not much to laugh about, although I had the crying part down pretty good for a short time.

Somehow, someway and with  prayers and help from many have reached the point where I truly think we can move forward from now on.

Sure we still have a few kinks to work out, like Massey's next three years in college or my dog's eye surgery or Tim landing a full time job but God is good and He will open the door when He is ready and holler for us to step through,  just like my parents used to holler for us to come home from our open front door when we were kids. I have no doubt about it!

Everyone have a Happy Halloween. Til next time...COTTON

Switching Hats Again

Just got home from the restaurant. It wasn't overly busy but the tipping gods smiled on me and I made enough to buy groceries for the week and have a few bucks left over. Tonight was my Friday at  the restaurant and tomorrow is my Monday at  the mattress store. Worked myself silly this weekend and looking forward to the quiet of the mattress store.

When I logged into my account tonight,  noticed my blog has 76,976 page views. Not bad for a rookie. I'm glad peeps seem to be enjoying it because I LOVE doing this blog.

It will be nice to settle into my other hat tomorrow. I like working alone. I like meeting new people and I like having time to myself. I come in and get everything ready, check emails and inventory then eat my breakfast my husband cooks and packs up for me every  day.  I upload pics of furniture and mattresses to Facebook to advertise then usually read my book waiting for people to come in. I loved the Game of Thrones series and was sad to finish it. A blog reader suggested The Pillars of Life and lucky for me, Massey bought it for my birthday.

Writing is my passion but reading is a close second. The written word is mesmerizing to me. I envision what every person looks like and know exactly how their voice should sound.  Sometimes I will see a random person and say to myself, "Well there goes Ned Stark, wonder what he's doing in Newnan, Georgia?"

The Pillars of the Earth had me on the edge of my seat by  the end of the book. There were plenty of characters to hate and despise and was on pins and needles until they finally hanged the Rat Bast I detested in the last few pages. I had been posting on FB about how great the book was and an FB friend brought me the next  book in the series to read.

I'm all pumped to go in tomorrow, open up get my duties done and start reading the second book.

The only thing crazier than the book series I am reading is that tomorrow is October. What the heck happened to 2013 and how in the heck has it flown by  so fast?

Life is good here. We've been through a lot survived a lot and been loved a lot. That should be my new motto!

The cooks at  work tonight were talking about me from their line across the expo counter in North Korea. (see previous post) They were talking about how much I eat yet how tiny I am. I do  eat like crazy at work but am running around even crazier. It's not like I'm kicked back in bed stuffing food in my mouth and not moving for ten hours. I rarely eat at home.  I cook at  home and love to. I'll taste test all through my cooking process but by  the time they all sit down to eat I am ready to start  cleaning up and putting it all away into  containers. I peered across the great divide and told them I was back up to a hundred pounds.

It started out slow and I am known for bringing in lots of candy. M&M's, Reese's, Whoppers and  like me some Sweet Tarts too. One of the cooks, who started as a dishwasher and thanks to my persistent nagging was allowed the chance to move up and has proved  to be a great addition to the cook line in North Korea asked me if I had any chocolate? I told him no and he asked if I had time to walk over to the candy store  and buy some. It was slow so I walked  over, it's only three stores down... they were closed up tight as a drum with a note taped to the front door: "Our last day will be Sept. 29"

On the other side of our restaurant is a theater so walked over there to go into the lobby to get my buddy his fix. They wanted four bucks for a tiny box of M&M's. I asked if the price included a movie ticket? It didn't so I walked back over to the restaurant.

I told my friend (who BTW is African American) "Hey buddy, sorry but if you want some chocolate your best  best is to gnaw on your arm."

He is one of the nicest most polite young men I have ever met. Always calls me Ms. Kelly and is a hard stinking worker. He also attended the camp my youngest son did for a thirty day stint.


Dollar Tree is right next  door to my mattress shop and will drop by  tomorrow and buy my buddy  all the candy  he could possibly want. I'll even pick me up another bag of Whoppers, the breakfast of  idiots.

Going to bed feeling blessed. I have two jobs I love , a family and a bunch of other peeps who always have by back. Yep...I'm sitting pretty.

Til next time...COTTON

First Visit

Worked the day shift at  the restaurant today. My sister and her husband came in to eat brunch with her former flight attendant buddy, her husband and one of their daughters. It wasn't balls to  the walls busy  so I got to chat while I waited on  them. It was my sister's friends  anniversary so Cin had me get my boss Len  to make them  his yummy cannoli cake for dessert.  I've told my sister about how when parties order one we take it out and show them the cake, let them take pictures then take it back to the kitchen to cut and serve it. That way, us servers are sure to get a nice fat slice too!

After they finished brunch my sister said "We'll be wanting you  to cut our cake at  the table please." She so funny!! There was plenty left over for us servers, Barb (the owner's wife) and the guests of honor. Len bakes a mean cake.

Massey's roomie's mom brought some blackout curtains and a curtain rod by for the girl's dorm room which gets full sun through a huge window so after work I went for a short visit. The bartender at  work wanted to go with me, got off when I did  and actually HAS a car, unlike me so it worked out great! We zipped up there in no time in her cute little Scion. We parked in the lot next  to  the dorm. It said $6.00 on  the sign and said to put  the money into  a slot on one of  those big self pay boxes. We were in space number 41. I went to put the money in but the numbers started at  101 and went up  to 180. I told her what the heck, we weren't staying long, lets just go get  the girls and take them to dinner.

If I was worried  about  Massey's safety (which I am) fears were quickly put to rest when we stepped into  the lobby of her dorm. I told them I was there to see Massey  Cotton. They told me she had to  come downstairs  to check me in. When Massey  got  there, I had to surrender my drivers license, give them my cell phone number and after scrutinizing my ID had a bracelet taped around my wrist. When you get in the elevator to go up to her floor, Massey has to scan her card before the elevator will work. So I had to wait in line for a minute or two, I'm  down with that...just keep my girl safe. Even when students  come into  the lobby,  they have to stop and show their ID before going to the elevators. I like it!

We went up  to their room and hung the curtains for them. We had the door propped open and  I bet at  least four people stopped by and said hello to the girls, one of them even said "You must be Mrs. Cotton, nice to meet you!"

I'm thinking I like this place!

I was worried about  my friend's car and would hate to drive back  to Newnan with her car booted. I remember a Simpsons episode when Homer's car got booted and he drove home anyway with  the car kerplunking over the boot. Click on the video.

Her car wasn't booted so we all piled in and went to the Varsity for a lube job. We ordered our  food when my friend decided to add a F.O. to her order. That  would be a Frosted Orange, a frozen specialty at  the Varsity. She told the girl  behind the counter "That's $2.39 extra." The girl said "How'd you know that?" My friend  said it was on the menu board behind the  girl's  head, but I chirped right in, pointed at my friend and said "She used to work here." The girl said "For real?" I almost said "Fo shizzle!"

Let me just state here that I have been eating at  the Varsity  since  the sixties and have NEVER seen a white person behind the counter at  the Varsity taking orders. Giving them, maybe. It's mostly African Americans and Indians ( dot not the feather).

We  ate our deliciously disgusting food and had  a great  chat. We  took the girls back  to their dorm taking the scenic route.  Downtown Atlanta is an amazing and beautiful city. I'm elated that Massey has  this opportunity and know she will make the most of it. We illegally parked again in the lot and walked  the girls back  to the front door of the dorm.

Hugs all around, kisses and hugs again.

It's crazy, but I'm okay with this so far. I thought I would be a wreck but feel really good about the security. If they are ever anywhere on campus and feel uneasy they can make a call and be escorted home by  campus police. Buses for  the school run every ten minutes and you can't get on one without scanning  your card.

It takes a little time to get into her dorm to see her but I appreciate the extra effort.

She starts classes tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this. It's not been easy getting her this far but know in my heart she will take and appreciate this opportunity, make us all proud and go far in life.

HUGE shout out to my brother who helped make it all happen. Huge shout out to my sister and bro in law who loaned me a car tonight so I can start my new job  this week. Just a general shout  to everyone who loves and cares for me, I am one extremely stinking lucky person.

Life is good, God is good and I am blessed beyond belief! It's a wonderful  thing to be loved.

Til next  time...COTTON

Make A Wish ??

Got home from work just a few minutes ago and let the dogs out back. I was standing on the deck talking with my sister on my cell phone when I saw a shooting star streak across  the sky. I told her to hang on a minute while I made a wish. I shut my eyes and thought quickly what I should wish for?

I simply didn't have a wish come to mind... I have had so many blessings it felt selfish to ask for more. I won't say I haven't had some struggles but  have lived to tell the story and that in itself is a wish come true!

I don't wanna brag (or jinx myself)  but we haven't had a "Services are being cut off" tag hung on our front door knob in over three months!

 I finally learned how to NOT bounce a check..."Don't write one." In my defense I did bounce a few but it was when the only other choice was to be without water or electricity.

I  certainly didn't do it alone. I had an army at my back from the time Tim lost his job and the army grew when I was fired from the "Western Sizzler."

I have learned a lot.

I have learned that customers are wasteful in a restaurant and learned that if I boxed up left over food from really clean looking customers and took it home for Tim to take to work, he was grateful to have it and I was more grateful he didn't know where it came from. I am even MORE grateful he doesn't read my blog.

I have learned to shop at thrift stores and consignment shops. I have learned that I really did raise pretty good kids that have never once complained when I brought home sacks of clothes from Good Will but seemed okay if not almost happy about it.

I have learned  that teen age boys are stupid and make stupid mistakes.  I have also learned that it doesn't make you love them any less but even more.

I have learned that I can take whatever life throws at me. This was the most important lesson I think I learned. The saying is true..."What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I could lift an overturned eighteen wheeler full of elephants if I had to, and I am only mildly exaggerating.

It may sound crazy but one of the things that has gotten me through is sitting at my computer putting it all out HERE. The good, the bad AND the ugly.

 Writing is my release. Writing is my passion and when other people read my blog and it touches THEM, it is exhilarating to me. I often check the stats and this is where they stand tonight.

I have written 979 blog posts. I have had 36,064 views on my blog. I have 45 people that are signed up as followers of my blog and include readers from the following places:

United States, Russia, United Kingdom, Turkey, Canada, Poland, Brazil, Colombia, Germany, Croatia, Slovenia, India, Denmark, Philippines and Australia.

So obviously people all over the world know I am crazy but also know that I am resilient and "One Lucky Mother!"

I didn't have one single wish for that shooting star tonight. It's all happened and I am still around to enjoy it.

I have learned many lessons. I have learned what it is to be grateful and what it means to be humbled. I have learned that "Paying it forward" is probably the greatest concept ever invented and try to live by it on a daily basis.

A shooting star is wonderful to witness and an uncommon sight. Having your life turn around from being totally on welfare  and under not only God's but friends and family's care is one of the most eye opening experiences I  ever had.

Just think how pompous I would be if I had rolled through life with no bumps?

A former co worker of mine who I love dearly  just recently joined  Facebook and found my blog.  He wrote me tonight and said he had only read two months back but had a six pack from laughing and crying.

You need to be honest about your life and I try to. You  can pretend or lie about it...but who's THAT gonna help?

The shooting star was pretty awesome tonight, but so is my life!

Til next  time ...COTTON

Back to Two Shows a Day...

Had me a big fat day off yesterday. It's turned into Siberia here in the deep south and when I came home from work Tuesday afternoon I vowed  to not step out of my house until I had to be back at work. I cooked Chili for my family and all the teens that somehow miraculously show up when I decide to cook. ( must be an app on their smart phone) I went out begrudgingly, on Wednesday for gas and some groceries but was back in my comfy slippers long before the sun went down. We heated up left over Chili and munched on a massive coffee cake I bought while at the grocery store. I was in the bed by nine and LOVIN' IT!

I went to sleep and woke up three hours later in a pool of sweat so deep you could dive into it and not hit your head. I ain't kiddin'.

I've only experienced night sweats sporadically for about a year but the past month somebody turned the heat up WAY too high and is trying to kill me by drowning me... in my own sweat. I wake up literally soaking wet and five minutes later add another blanket and a pair of Tim's tube socks. Two hours later I am stripping again and then two hours later hunting around in the dark for the tube socks I hurled across the room in a fit of sweaty rage.

I went into work today and limited myself to one pot of coffee. I came home on my break ... stripped climbed into bed and a tee shirt ... lay flat on my back (to not muss my haircut I got on my break ...less than twenty bucks with a 20% tip and my makeup that took five minutes to apply this morning)

I went back into work this evening to have the honor of  waiting on two older women I have waited on before.

The two women, one in her eighties and a buddy (my kind of table) said I looked too skinny and I told her I was losing weight because I was currently sweating out at least five pounds a night.

They had a great meal and loved my comedy routine. When I went to give them the check, they fought over it but one of the women slipped me her card..."She won!"

I got to the computer to scan her credit card and noticed she had given me her driver's license. I  went back to the table and  simply said "You won the check but can't pay the bill with this...although now I know where you live and how much you weigh."

The other older woman said "What would you have done if she had handed you her insurance card?"

I told her I would have run out the back door,  to the nearest Emergency Room and demanded for  someone to stop me from sweating away the last ninety pounds I had left."

The next table I had was a younger couple. The wife said "I love your haircut...where did you get it cut?'
I told her at  a military base." She asked "Really?" and I said "No but that's what my husband says."

They had a great meal and I  wowed them with I think is what one of  my greatest advantages...my humor and obvious PHD in BS that I have honed quite masterfully.

It was slow at work but I made enough to keep the cellphones on...for another day. I've figured out how to work the system there too! Number one, Verizon won't go bankrupt without my own time payment. Number two even though cell phones seem to be a necessity now, especially when you have teens driving your vehicle, they fall way down the list behind mortgage, utilities and groceries. First off I DO try to pay them, I stop by and throw a twenty in the auto pay machine when I can remember to when I leave work if they are open. Number two if they don't harass me I sometimes forget about them and then suddenly I get a text or phone call from them saying I am due to be cut off. (Cry me a river Verizon, try walking in my tiny shoes for a while)

Now I've learned not to answer their call, they always want you to use a credit card to pay them (don't own one) or draft a check from your account (good luck with THAT one...tee-hee)

I wait for their next move...sending you a text. I answer the text which leads me to a number I can call and talk to no one but hear a menu to choose from. Press one to make a payment (no thank you) Press two to hear your balance (already know my balance...it's past due) Press three for more options. (BINGO)  Then after pressing three there is an option  "Notify us of a payment that has already been sent."  I have the number "three" programmed on speed dial . Then the automated voice thanks me sweetly for letting them know that money is on the way (which it isn't) but buys me at least four more days (five with a holiday thrown in.)  Then I go by when I can and put a twenty into their hungry automated pay machine . By  the time I get the text notification "This is to notify you of a missed payment arrangement" I usually have made enough money to repeat the process all over again!!

Dang...I should write a book! "How to be poor but survive AND Have Cell Phones."

I don't like not having a lot of money anymore...but it is temporary. Verizon has plenty of money, so does my bank. I look at it this way... "I am helping THEM help ME."

BFF's again. In this economy I am living by  the seat of my pants and the motto "A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." If Verizon doesn't like it I can go to WalMart and buy us all pre paid cell phones. (not really, WalMart pushes a check through like a line backer)

It's getting better, we're getting better and the economy is slowly getting better. I have done things I really don't like having to do but have somehow made it this far. Hopefully I will laugh about all of this one day when I am old... Who am I trying to kid? I "AM" old, but I'm not trying to get one over on anyone just trying to muddle through til the path is clear in front of me.

To be honest I am a firm believer in God and Karma. I may not be Mother Teresa, but I'm not a bad person and I still help others when I can. I know THIS system works because I have been helped these past two years by SO many people that it boggles my mind.

If you need help from me, just call my cell phone and press "Three."  :)

These night sweats, we're gonna have to talk about. For Pete's sake...I'm getting hit with another now.

My life is good...at least I am breathing and I am loved!

Til next time....Flashin' With Fury, COTTON

Getting Back to Normal...As Normal as It Gets Around Here!

Spent the entire day Sunday with my boyfriend "Johnny." We cut yard after yard after yard. I filled  his tank up twice and made him run like a "Deere." I had grass and twigs in my hair, my face and body was covered with red Georgia clay that I churned up since rain has apparently gotten pissed off and left our region of the country.
Massey is in Florida trashing my high school friend's house and I am at home with so much testosterone that it is gagging me. I lost my beloved Rosie and my girl fled to Florida on the same day. It's me and Tim, Zach and three of his buddies and two male dogs. I've started to pee with the toilet seat up just to feel like one of the gang.
At least males are easy to please. They seem to like whatever you do for them, as long as YOU do it and never complain. Sometimes they get so giddy they will take a trash bag out of your hand and say "I'll take this out" knowing that frees up more time for baking brownies or making another gallon of iced tea.

I am a tom boy anyway...I never put on make up unless I am going to work or a funeral or wedding. I wear a bikini top and daisy dukes when I cut grass. It's hot in the south and I already suffer from hot flashes. I'll work all day in a yard, but I dress for the occasion.

One of Zach's buddies is currently staying with us...he is a sweet kid with a great head on his shoulders and I am hoping it somehow rubs off  on Zach. Not that Zach is horrible, he's not...just stumbling a bit. I'd rather him stumble when he is 18 than fumble the ball when he is married with a wife and kids.

I miss Massey but try not to let her know because she is having a ball with her Aunt's in Destin and  being treated like the queen she already thinks she is. Aunt Del called me tonight and asked if she could stay two more weeks. I told her that I have been throwing away crap every day from her bedroom and by the time she gets back I may be able to actually see the back of her closet....if there is one back there! My girl's sweet but she is messy, cluttered and an obvious pack rat.

It makes for lots of time to pick up extra shifts at work and not worry about getting Massey to and fro. I am going down to pick her up in two weeks and may even be able to take a couple of days for myself at the beach.

As far as living with all these men...they are pretty easy to put up with. They never say "What's for dinner?" but happily fix a plate of whatever I find time to cook and if I don't are just as happy with a bowl of Spaghettios or a banana. If I run out of iced tea or lemonade, they don't take the initiative to make more but seem happy to drink water until I find time or the desire to make more. They don't gripe about toilet paper I bring home from work ...when the rolls get low the hostesses take them off and replace them so a customer doesn't run out. They throw all the small rolls in a bag and Barbara gives them to me to bring home. Massey made the comment one time "Do you think Barbara could buy softer toilet paper?" That thought has never crossed the boy's minds...they are just grateful to not rely totally on "shakin it."

Worked a double shift today and when I went back for dinner we had two big parties to set up for. Len had me show a new hire how to set up one of the rooms for a party of ten. We have glass tables that we arrange in one long table for parties and as I was carefully (obviously not) putting the tables together I turned one of the tables and it BARELY glanced the other and exploded  in my hands. It shattered in a million pieces...and by the small cut on my forearm wonder why they call it safety glass? I was mortified. Len heard the noise...along with everyone else in the restaurant. He came into the room , looked at the new girl who was more shocked than me and simply said "We're getting rid of her anyway...Hey Kelly, when's your last day?"

All the other servers helped me sweep up the glass, which went every where and in every direction. When I went to the restroom I put my hand in my apron to get out my lip gloss and found about two more pounds of broken glass. Thank the Lord Barbara wasn't there and we had it all cleaned up by the time she returned to work. When I saw her come back in I immediately said "Len broke one of the glass tables while you were gone." The snap of her head and the look on her face reminded me of the "RINK! RINK! RINK! RINK!" music from the shower scene in the movie Psycho and I quickly confessed.

These two people have been such a saving grace to me and my family , took me under their wing and into their hearts at a time when I so desperately needed it and have helped me countless times over the past year. So it took me over a year to destroy one of their glass tables...considering my luck it was bound to happen!

I finally returned my brother's car today...he loaned it to us for a couple of weeks last year and I returned it today . He uses it as his weekend car and we have run it to death. The steel belts were showing on both front tires and I couldn't  send it back that way,  considering as seldom as he would have driven it they would have lasted another two years. Being the awesome (not) sister I am...  I had two used tires put on and balanced  put twenty bucks worth of gas in it and took it back to his apartment while he was out of town. I felt like Bill Murray in Caddy Shack slinking away from the golf course after attempting to blow up the gopher with disastrous results.

So life appears to be returning to normal...not that I know what normal is anymore. I am assuming it is the state between frazzled yet keeping it all together , surrounded by Divine intervention and the love of a whole bunch of people.

Sounds good to me!

Til next  time....COTTON

Blessed....Again

When I think about what Santa would really look like it is  the above picture. It's gotta be a real beard and those beautiful blue eyes.

Seems like Santa comes in many sizes shapes and forms these days.

I decided to go put a down payment on a Letterman jacket for Massey today. Another guard mom emailed about a place that sells them much cheaper than ordering them through the school. I knew we really couldn't afford it but work has picked up like crazy and sometimes you just get tired of not being able to do something nice for your kids.

I know I spoil Massey so on the way I decided to go ahead and spoil Zach too...whether he wanted it or not. There is a great consignment shop in a neighboring town that was on the way to the Sporting Goods store. Zach has two pair of jeans and about five tee shirts that make up his wardrobe. He HATES me shopping for him but they had a huge sale at the consignment shop and I got him an American Eagle zip up sweater for $5.00 and Massey picked out a beautiful baby blue Hollister pull over sweater that will look great with his baby blue eyes...$5.00 as well.

We ordered a jacket for Massey and I  put half down on it. She was BEYOND thrilled.

We came home and as always  stopped at the mailbox before pulling in the driveway. Of course there were the usual "Immediate Attention" letters and a couple of Christmas cards. Massey snatched them out of my hand and squealed "I got a letter from the North Pole!!"

It was addressed to her and the return address was indeed the North Pole. She opened the envelope and once again I was blessed.

It told her he had heard about some kid making fun of her repeating outfits at school and her wanting a Letterman jacket. Enclosed was $50.00 and a note that said to use it for her wardrobe or jacket...her choice. It went on to say things about her parents that brought tears to my eyes and that made Massey realize the power of friendship and love...two tremendous things to have in life.

Now the jacket is paid off in full.

Now my heart is full. I am not sure what I have ever done for people to shower me with so many blessings but I know I have so much to pay forward that it isn't even funny.

I have a great job and a family that stretches far beyond blood relation. I am on the road back and I know what a long road it will be but with all the Angel's and Santa's that have come into our life we are destined for greatness.

Zach balked at his sweaters when we got inside the house, but when he left fifteen minutes later with a friend he was wearing the American Eagle sweater. Teen age boys are a toughie. They don't want attention or love but need it more than anyone else.

Zach and I have had our battles and I am quite sure there are many more to come but when he answers his cell phone and says "Hi Mommy" it makes me smile. When he puts on a sweater I bought for him it makes me warmer than it does him.

My kid's have been through a lot this past year. At first all they knew was that their dad was looking for a new job. As the weeks turned into months they realized the big picture and I am sure it wasn't easy for them. To their credit they have been quite incredible and resilient. Of course they are teens and have given me a lot of new gray hair and wrinkles along the way but I think teens do that anyway, regardless.

Massey has her Christmas present coming...and all paid for. Zach has a warm sweater that he really likes but is too cool to say so and my new job is proving to be the best thing that has happened in over a decade.

All I have to do is get the boy's their present and shopping is done. TJ is easy...he is out on his own and nothing says Merry Christmas like a pre paid gas card and a Kroger gift card. Zach is a little tougher...and Tim has balked at me signing him up for the military as a Christmas gift. He needs some new tennis shoes and some new drawers, he is growing like a stinkin' weed (no Zach pun intended.)

Christmas has been all about Christmas the past two years in our house and I can say with conviction that it makes the Holiday sweeter. We  have our family over and eat, drink and get our Merry on. We laugh and force our brother to spend an entire day with his niece and nephews. We are a small family now but we have a heart that only needs love pumping through it...and pump it we do.

So my Christmas shopping is done and paid for. My brother is the rich one (LOL) so we'll get him to bring a Honey Baked Ham and the Bloody Marys. My sis and I will make some side dishes and we will spend the day together and it will be incredible...(maybe not the word my brother would use) but he'll tough it out with us and be done til Thanksgiving 2011.

How can such a horrible year seem like a blessing? With much love from family, friends and God it has turned out to be the most eye opening and reality checking experience a person could ever have.

I will never be the same. I will never see a person hurting , wanting or needing without trying to help. I picked another card off the tree at work tonight.

 If so many can help me...it leaves me open to help so many.

I hope that every one has a wonderful Christmas...I know we will.

And Santa....you are the best!

Til next time.....Christmas Cotton

Back From the Edge...Again

I got sick last year about this same time. Tim had just lost his job and I put off going to the doctor as long as I could stand it. We had lost our insurance and I just couldn't bring myself to spend money on myself. After weeks of being ill I finally broke down and went to see the "Doc in the box" at CVS. I had bronchitis and they gave me an antibiotic and told me if I wasn't better in two weeks to come back.

In two weeks I felt better but never actually got WELL. I got used to the cough and when it got bad I would drink 'Tussin' like grape juice and somehow limped by.

Summer came, Tim was still out of work but by then I considered my cough one of my trademarks. It let the kids know when I was home and seemed to become my alarm clock.

Strep reared it's head in our house early this year and after Massey got sick, then Zach and finally Tim...I took my cough downstairs to the couch in the den and just coughed myself silly every night until I fell asleep.

Thanksgiving week I began to realize that I wasn't getting better but steadily worse. The cough I had gotten used to but the chills and fever finally got the best of me.

I fell into couch/bed last Saturday night only to wake up gasping for breath. It was truly frightening. I couldn't catch my breath and dragged myself into the kitchen to boil a pot of water to put on a stool by the couch to inhale the steam vapors hoping it would clear my lungs. It worked semi well. It got me well enough to go to the computer and find my will and instructions for my funeralpalooza and pin them to an icon on my desktop. My instructions were clear (unlike my breathing.)

My brother would emcee my funeralpalooza with my sister as his sidekick...only one minister (of my choosing) and no one was to sing...unless  my nephew Casey agreed to sing  "Imagine" by John Lennon.

I made many deals with God that night and was too frightened to go to sleep,  thinking that I would be unable to take a breath in my sleep...I was struggling to breathe while awake and couldn't imagine being able to inhale and exhale in my sleep.

I spent two nights making deals and re heating pots of water to sink my face into.

I stumbled into work early the next morning and fell asleep on a bench in the back of the restaurant trying to gather my strength to work another shift, when the owner's wife came back and told me I looked like %$#@  and to go to the doctor.

She knows we are broke and told me to go to the doctor and if I needed money for prescriptions or co pay she would be glad to help.

I went across the street to a "Doc in the Box" that had just opened. A fellow server had told me about it and said it only cost $35. I dragged myself across the street to the place. It was spankin' brand new...the Sheetrock wasn't even finished and their were no pictures on the wall...heck there weren't even registers covering the heating and air ducts...but as long as there was a doctor there I felt lucky to be able to walk in on my own.

Turns out the co pay was $50. I had to pay the last two dollars in quarters to the smiling 20 something year old girl behind the semi built counter. As I counted out my eight quarters (that I had to go out and scrounge out of  my car, trunk and floor mats) I remarked to her "This is pretty sad isn't it?" She brightly said "NO." I quickly corrected her and said "Yes it is if you are a fifty year old woman."

I signed in and was finally led to a room. As I was leaving the waiting room a Hawapanese looking man came in hacking his crap all around the room . He never tried to cover his mouth or contain himself to one corner. He walked around spreading his germs and by the time I had bundled myself up in my winter coat on the exam table in my cubicle could still hear him walking and hacking and without registers on the vents could hear the guy in the next cubicle hacking away as well.

I was just glad to be waiting for a doctor...by this point I wasn't looking for Marcus Welby, just hoping for someone with a prescription pad.

I was asleep all comfy in my coat when Doogie Howser finally came in. He was actually really a nice guy and asked "So how long have you been sick?"

I replied it had been a while. He asked if it had been a few days. I said "A bit longer." He said "A week" and I replied "Let's talk months...MANY months."

I told him right off the bat that whatever I had needed to be a $50 illness. I kinda briefed him on my situation and once he seemed conducive to being a listener,  I used my fifty bucks to the hilt. I broke down into tears unloaded my soul and gave him the short version of how much my life has sucked and how desperate I was to get well.

He gave me 4 prescriptions....all on the Poor man's Plan and told me if I wasn't feeling better in two days to come back.

I had acute Bronchitis, a sinus infection and double ear infection. My prescriptions cost $4 a piece.

So I got to unload on an actual doctor...maybe he wasn't a therapist but I went ahead and used him as one...we even talked about the mortgage crisis  I am going through and he sat right there and listened. Actually he is not only my new PCP my but new  best friend.

I am on a steroid, an antibiotic, a cough suppressant and a de congestant that makes me whacky as crap but as long as it helps me get well...it is the best $48 dollar and eight quarters I have ever spent.

It has also made me realize that I need to firm up my Funeralpalooza plans.

I have been given a reprieve...Massey asked me why I didn't wake her up when I couldn't breathe the other night when I felt like callling 911. I told her I figured I would let the sirens from the ambulance  wake her up.

Once again I am one of the lucky ones. Thanks to "Doogie" and thanks to my employers  for making me go get well...I can take more time with my "KellyPaloozaLooza " Plans.

Trust me...when I DO finally go...it will be something NO ONE will WANT to miss. What's a funeralpalooza without a keg of beer?

Til next time...Recuperatin' COTTON

Talk To The Hand...

Here's a pic of me trying to give my big bro a kiss.

I SHOULD call him my "Hebro."
  Not only is he my brother and my biggest critic ( with his sharp wit) but my hero.

He picks on me relentlessly when we are all together but it reminds me of what I tell my fellow co workers: "I only pick on the people that I like."

I consider myself a pretty funny person.

 I consider my brother the funniest guy on the planet and he obviously loves me to pieces.

He has been  good to not only me and my sister but to both of our families...especially after our only remaining parent died in 2002. Our Mom died in 1977 unexpectedly and our Diddy died in 2002 from West Nile Virus.

Poor (wealthy compared to us) Chris has been saddled with his two sisters ever since and like the good sisters we are,  have hoisted our own problems and some of our kid's right onto his big broad shoulders.

 Thank goodness he grew out of that skinny stage he was in for  over 30 years and ended up being a big broad man who thankfully had shoulder surgery a couple of years back...gotta take care of those shoulders, they have a heavy load to bear!

He has taken over for my Mama and Diddy. He has been our salvation more times than I care to keep track of and 'keeps on giving.' Granted he rags me all the time, but who am I to talk about ragging people? It is one of my best qualities...finding humor in any given situation.

If you can't laugh at life...you'll end up crying WAY too often and it doesn't help anything, especially gray hair and wrinkles.

My brother used to read my blog. He probably quit about a year ago when things started going south for us. He thought "I'll just wait for the text or phone call...it'll be a lot less painful when I make out my check."

When I finally make it as a published author (and I swear I will) I have so many people to pay back and actually have a record to go by. My sis and "Hebro" are tops on my list  followed by MANY friends and relatives .

I was goofing around on my blog page tonight before posting and came across some facts that amazed my tiny mind.

Over the past few months  I  had 7,552 views from people in the United States. I   had 110 from people in Canada. From Denmark there have been 76. Russia...48. From the UK I had 35. From China I had 33 and from South Korea I had 31. Japan gave me 29 hits and believe it or not Slovenia came in with 28. Mexico brought up the rear with 17 views but it all totally blew me away!

Come on "Amigos" GET ON BOARD!! (Or Abroad)

Once my life settles down a bit and I can focus more on my desires instead of my demands and commitments, I truly think I can make something of my writing.

 I am never at a loss for the written word (or the spoken one for that matter.)

Putting feelings and emotions into words that other people can read and FEEL is something that has always made me happy and also gives me a hard copy of my life, my journey and how I felt every step of the way.

I  kept a journal all of my life...the first one I have is from when I was nine. I stopped the actual writing in books after Massey was born.

I picked up again when technology came along and made it so much easier for me.

I have so many things to be thankful for. I have so many things to complain about. I have so many causes to fight for (other than my family surviving.)

I think people like to read my posts. I think I write a lot of things that people only think about in secret parts of their minds.

You know what I think?

I think  life is a journey and if you don't write it all down somewhere..."How will they possibly be able to remember you decades and generations from now?"

Hoping to be remembered and hoping to be a person that people will WANT to remember.

Til next time...COTTON

Once in a Blue Moon...

Tonight is New Year's Eve...Thank the Lord this year is almost over. It is a "Blue Moon." The only thing that really means is that we have a full moon twice in one month, but it still seemed pretty cool so I went out back and took a picture.

The old Dickens's novel comes to mind when I think of this past year. "It was the best of times and it was the worst of times."

It was the worst of times because we had such a stressful and unfortunate year. It was the best of times because I have family and friends that have helped us through .

Work was a mad house. In the server world we call it "Amateur Night." People that don't normally go out but come out and don't have a clue as to how to treat a server. My first tip was $1.35 on a $60.00 tab. Next was $4 on a fifty dollar tab....and so on and so on.

Of course I had some really nice tips and as it usually seems to do...I came out on the good end of the average.

I was just glad to be at home when midnight rang in the New Year. Tim is at work, I am home with my two youngest kids...an extra teen thrown in that I love (Massey's best friend) and my three pups.

This year is over. This year is done.

I have a new year to look forward to and will make the most of it.

I am almost fifty and have only had one really bad year...I think I am doing pretty good.

The fireworks are going off outside and I am warm and snug in my home with my kids and dogs and couldn't imagine wanting to be any where else.

"Once in a blue moon" you will have a bad year...and I had that.

As Forest Gump said "Shit happens" and as Scarlett said "There is always tomorrow."

I am just grateful to be alive to see them both through.

Happy New Year to each and every one of you and 'Thank You' for loving and getting me through to the other side.

2010...HERE I COME !!!

Til next time...COTTON