You've Come A Long Way Baby!

I was a scary looking baby from the jump.

I'm turning fifty seven in a few short hours from now. Fifty seven??? That's a lot closer to than from sixty, which is also pretty scary when you think about.

I went from kinda cute as a fat baby to pretty cute as a toddler...then the bottom dropped out.

Yikes!


I can't believe my parents actually bought this school picture, must have been a pity purchase on their part.

I continued my awkward phase, and obvious obsession with ugly red dresses with white collars for quite a few years...sheesh.

I bounced back to semi awkward but still dressed in red and white, kinda changing it up a bit with this culotte dress my mother made for me. Dang I loved that sailor suit!


I was hard to look at for more years than I care to remember. It's also hard to believe I had a happy and excellent childhood, growing up looking the way I did.

I made a short comeback after a few more horrible pics in elementary, middle and most of high school. I finally got a reprieve my junior and senior year in high school.

I have scrolled through every picture I have of me on my computer, Face book and phone.

The first decent picture I had taken of me since that high school photo of me as a cheerleader (yes I made Captain, thank you very much) was when Massey, my youngest child had her senior pictures taken early one freezing cold morning at Starr's Mill. The photographer took a candid shot of us both, just (probably) to make me feel included. I didn't have on a stitch of makeup and had gotten only two hours of sleep after getting off late the night before, but I really liked the picture.

I like it because this was around the time Massey and I became true best friends. Tim and I had been struggling financially for the past few years, almost losing our house and Tim was out of work. One of Massey's teachers took her senior pictures and let me make payments on them. They all turned out great,  by the way.

Massey was old enough to know we were dirt poor. She was a senior in high school and there were so many things we simply couldn't afford to do for her with all her other classmates.

Massey never complained...not once. She got to participate in a lot of things because I volunteered every chance I got and many other parents chipped in to help her as well.


I think that was around the time I realized what life was really all about...and unashamedly, so did she.

People bought us groceries, gave us gift cards, bought our Thanksgiving dinner and pumped out our septic tank after it backed up. One guy even paid to have our A/C unit fixed one hot summer and everyone, generally saw us through the storm.

I used to think that was the worst time in our lives, but it wasn't. It was the best.

So here I am again, photographed once again without makeup. Makeup tends to hide things. I like to show and experience things.

We struggled for about four or five more years, but then just like that... it happened. The Karma train rolled into the station and picked us all up, free of charge, with all dues paid.

My good friends and family from Georgia sent me to Florida to live, with tears in my eyes and cards I've kept to this day, and read again every so often.

I've existed for fifty seven years, but lived the past decade...thanks to much love, affection and genuine, sincere kindness.

I used to think of myself as being middle aged, but unless I live to be one hundred fifteen am pretty much on the rapid downside of life.

That's okay too.

I came into this world and after decades of floundering,  feel like I've made it somewhat a better place.


Am I the best person?

Hell to the No!

Am I the worst?

Not even close.

If I had to (and will be doing so sooner than later) write my own obituary, would certainly include this:

If you never have bad times, how would you be able to tell when you are having good times?

Happy Birthday to Me.

Life comes with no guarantees.



I once spoke at a funeral for a relative of ours a few years back. Another family member came up to me after the service, shook my hand and said he really connected with what I said about life.

I don't remember verbatim but was along these lines...

"Life is the instant you take in a breath, exhaling is never guaranteed."

Happy Birthday to Me.

Till next time...COTTON

Really... A Friday The Thirteenth?

Zach took Ziggy out yesterday morning at seven thirty before he went to work. With Zach standing out there with him our little Houdinin saw something move in the woods behind the almost six foot fence and was over it in a New York  minute and off to the races.

I told Zach to go ahead to work and I'd go look for the idiot.

Here's MY thing. This dog has a great life here. He always has food and perhaps maybe sometimes slimy water until I notice and change it but is living large by dog standards. He's welcome to any piece of furniture he chooses to plop down on and gets plenty of love.

Damn,  hope I come back as a dog in my next life!

After four hours of searching began to think ole Ziggy was really Dog Gone for good. I called the Pound, he wasn't there so walked all the busy side streets off our subdivision to make sure he hadn't been hit by a car.

I called Massey at school to tell her of his latest escape and within ten minutes got a text from her that she found him and was talking with the lady now who had him.

I started to tell Massey to ask the woman if we threw in twenty bucks would she keep him?

Then I saw his face on FB where they found him at the elementary school right around the corner from us.

Maybe he was trying to learn to be a smarter dog. Can't blame a pup for trying.

I called the woman and embarrassingly enough had to ask if she could bring Ziggy back home? I didn't have a car at the moment...or at all for that matter but she brought the little rascal back about fifteen minutes later and was  actually happy to see our little bad boy.

Who'd think you'd find your dog on FB? Massey did and after just a few minutes of posting about his disappearance found this picture of him. Thanks to social networking we once again have three big dogs. Maybe we need to learn to be smarter!


I'm letting another one of the Lost Boys stay here on and off for a couple of days. We have plenty of room now and are handy to have around a house in much need of repair. He stayed here when I had to leave for work early so some dude could come pick up Tim's old non working car we sold on Craigslist. We got enough money to buy Tim a laptop for his new job and lots of groceries. Beats the heck out of it sitting in our driveway reminding us what terrible luck we have with cars every time we leave the house.

I got home from work later that night and found out he made the transaction, left the money for me and borrowed the bicycle in the garage to ride to work. Probably didn't help much that it had a really low tire and he couldn't find the pump but he said it went pretty quickly after he finally made it to Ace hardware three miles up the road where they gave the tires some juice. Bless his heart took him over an hour to peddle six miles but told me he was just happy to have a ride. By the time my dude came to buy the car he'd missed his ride to work. That's a nice Lost Boy.

Today I finally joined the credit union the rest of my family did a few years ago. Dang, the woman  tried to get me to apply for a loan on the spot. I declined but will keep that thought in my back pocket. Tim flies home tomorrow night from Texas to pack up and drive back in the only vehicle we have running.

I may go back and take her up on the offer.

So today is Tim's birthday. I'm pretty sure I don't sound as loud and look a lot better a thousand miles away.

Awesome present I gave him if you ask me!

So our crazy life continues to be crazy.

I'm beginning to see a theme here...or at least resemble it.

I aspire to resemble this, and will.

It may not get better every day but every day gives you a better chance at getting there.

Til next time...COTTON

Let The Party Begin

Made it home from work just after the stroke of midnight. Excellent way to start my birthday if you ask me!

Quick story about my ride to International today on the Sardine Shuttle. Working at the airport is certainly entertaining and there's never a dull day. Today was no exception.

I made it to the MARTA platform just as the train was pulling in and less than five minutes later was seated on the Sardine Shuttle. It was almost full but made it on. I took out my phone , checked my email and messages and sent a couple of messages as well. I could hear an Asian woman talking kinda loudly and her voice droned on and on as I was looking at my phone. I figured she must be excited about her trip abroad and was chatting with her fellow traveler. As we got closer to the terminal I closed my phone and drank all the water out of my water bottle so I could take it through security with me. I looked across the aisle from me and noticed who had been (and still was) talking so loud and animatedly in what sounded like Mandarin or "Chineekin."

The woman had on an airport uniform and was sitting right by the luggage rack. She was facing away from everyone else and seemed to speaking to the roof of the bus. The man next to her was simply staring at the floor of the bus and obviously wasn't with her. I noticed the young black girl (also an employee) seated next to me was trying not to laugh. I leaned over , whispered to her and asked if the woman had a blue tooth on? The girl started to giggle even more and shook her head no as the little Asian woman kept on ranting into the air. I asked who she was even talking to and the young girl said "Herself , she does it all the time."

You gotta be kidding me? We were almost to the International terminal, a twelve minute ride and she had been talking loudly the entire way, and still was.

I asked the young girl to move her purse off her lap so I could video this insanity. That made the young girl laugh out loud and quickly covered her face.

The older Asian woman was still chatting up a storm...with NO ONE!

Several passengers had also noticed and looked almost frightened.

I took out my cell again and put it on video. I held it straight at the woman (who never even looked at me) and she continued to ramble on in her native tongue.

I filmed for at least an entire minute before hitting the stop button.

The young girl next to me was literally cracking up and all the passengers were now just simply staring at the woman. It didn't bother the woman one bit, she continued to ramble the entire ride.

She had on a uniform for the the peeps who load food onto the planes.

I told the young girl sitting next to me, now wiping tears away that she could check in on Facebook in five minutes , I'd have it posted in no time on my wall.

We pulled into the terminal to get off and the woman was still talking loudly to NO ONE.

I've never seen passengers scramble off the shuttle so quickly.

The young girl and I walked in together and the she said "Oh, you'll see her on the shuttle all the time rambling to herself."

What kind of crazies are they hiring?

I know it doesn't take a rocket scientist to roll a cart of food onto a plane but would think her constant loud rambling would wave some kind of red flag.

I got to the restaurant and checked my phone in the back hallway.

Of course I hit the wrong button and only took a seven second video of my knees but trust me, next Wednesday I'll be looking for ole Looney Tunes on the shuttle and be ready to film it!

Work went great although ending up to be a really long shift and didn't get off til eleven.

Like the champ I now am, made the eleven twenty MARTA train back to the College Park station and was home by my birthday shortly after midnight.

So I'm now another year older.

Won't lie, it's been a tough year.

It feels good to be "Living" again!

Got home from work and Massey had cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom. (no small feat for MY Chica)

 She also bought me a huge bouquet of Sunflowers, renewed my Barnes and Noble membership card and bought me another Paulo Coelho book. (the author of 'The Alchemist')

So by now it's after one thirty.

 Doing what momma does. I'm folding one last load of laundry and having a drinky poo.

Headed over to my "Sista's" on my big day off for lunch with Massey and some of my sister's friends, then coming home and collapsing until Friday when  head back to Mama Lucia's for my weekly performance.

It feels wonderful to be loved!

Ain't THAT the truth?

So we haven't had a lot of money but have been flooded with love.

Guess that means we're RICH!

Thanks for following my journey and allowing me to share it with you.

I never thought at the tender age of fifty four would be starting over but am. At least I have Love backing me. That's a pretty powerful advantage!

Til next time...An Older COTTON

Time For Another Hat Switch Again

Sometimes you can just tell when it's gonna be a great day. Today was one of them. Tim woke me up with breakfast in bed, a steaming cup of coffee , OJ and even a glass of my favorite Nestle's Quik. He had my work shirt ironed and ready to go and left the house right on time. I've started leaving an hour and a half instead of two hours early since learning all my nifty shortcuts to the commute. I rolled into the MARTA train station right on time and slowly stalked a TSA worker from the station to his car. I had to clock in at one thirty and hopped on the train at 12:59. By 1:06  was sitting on what I call the "Sardine Shuttle" to the International terminal. I got through security (using yet another shortcut I've learned) and got to work ten minutes early.

I'm beginning to feel more comfortable with every shift I work and today was no exception. I clocked in and got to work doing my opening side work and helping to clean up a bit. For the first thirty minutes I have opening duties and then begin to take tables.

I noticed my general manager talking to a woman I met at the Midtown location while attending a beverage class before starting training. I knew she was a big wig for Fifth Group, our parent company. She was sitting at a table with another person and they both had menus in front of them.

I was immediately relieved to see the menus. I thought maybe she was there to speak with me about my less than stellar "Shopper Report." She was just there to speak with the managers and executive Chef. I knew she knew about my Shop because Chef had told me so. As I passed her table on the way to greet one of my own, stopped to say hello and apologize about my crappy Shopper's Report.

She was extremely nice, chuckled and said there was nothing to be sorry about. She said getting Shopped on your first week is hard and I did just fine under the circumstances.

"WHEW!"

I KNEW it was gonna be a good day, even my hair had cooperated with me this morning!

There were two big flights leaving tonight, one for Amsterdam and another for Paris. I only made one mistake tonight with a credit card but the customer never knew about it and my "Bad Cop"manager fixed it for me. He even gave me more tables than he usually does and made pretty great money.

Around nine "Bad Cop" told me to pick up table 230 so I hustled right over. The guy kinda looked familiar but what do I know? I greeted him and he smiled and said hello to me as well. I asked if he was in a hurry (a must) and replied not at all, he was waiting for his flight to Paris. I took him his cocktail and asked if he had any questions about the menu or wanted to order an appetizer, naming a few of the more popular ones.  He shook his head and said "I'll just have Mama Lucia's Chicken Lucia."

That's a dish we serve at my OTHER job. Now I knew why he looked so familiar, he eats with me at the restaurant  in Newnan, where I live.  I laughed and said, "Fancy meeting YOU here!" Super nice, quite handsome man and was good to see him again.

My manager came up to me after I put the man's order in and said "The man at table 230 asked for a table when he came in and said he only wanted to eat if it was with the woman with short hair out on the patio. I thought he wanted to sit next to the customer on the patio, a woman eating with short hair so directed him to a table by her when he stopped me and said , No I want the SERVER with short hair to wait on me. He said he knew you from a Newnan restaurant and another place as well."

For Pete's sake! Now I knew where I ALSO knew him from.

A while back I was working part time for a Mattress store as a mid week manager as well as waiting tables at Mama Lucia's. I worked by myself Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. It wasn't a busy location and was in the middle of a hot summer. It was a discount, no frills store and didn't run the A/C to help keep costs down for the consumer. It didn't help ME much...my hot flashes alone are enough to melt the witch from the Wizard of Oz.

I worked ten hours days with no way to go anywhere for lunch so simply brought food with me from home and snacked when no one was in the store. But since they docked me thirty minutes for lunch, usually kicked back on a nice plush $1400.00 memory foam king sized mattress and read a book for thirty minutes. One hot summer day no one had come in for a time so took my thirty minute reading time. Somehow, someway I nodded off and didn't hear a customer come in. I was awakened by "Don't YOU look all comfy? That must be a great mattress!"

To  make it even worse, he knew me from Mama Lucia's.

Fast forward a few months...

I was at Mama Lucia's waiting tables one night when  woman sat at my table, ordered a glass of wine and said she was waiting on her husband. About thirty minutes later her husband came in so I asked him what he would like? He replied "A king size memory foam mattress." His wife looked at him like he was crazy (which was exactly what I was thinking) when he looked at his wife and told her I also worked at the Mattress store across the street. He said "You remember me don't you?"

I didn't remember him from Adam but enthusiastically said "SURE I do!"

Then the bomb dropped...

He said "I came in that day and you were SOUND asleep on that big daddy foam mattress with a book across your chest!"

Oops, NOW I remembered him!

I never got on another mattress to read the entire rest of the time I worked there.

So now a year later, working for a new restaurant in the International Terminal of the world's busiest airport this guy walks by, sees me and requests my table!

Yes, it WAS a good day! I had my first request table EVER at the new digs.

When I took him his check told him it was wonderful to see him again and apologized for snoozing on a mattress when he came into the mattress store. He extended his hand and said, "My name is Paul and it was good to see you again! Don't worry about the mattress thing, it was great advertisement for how comfortable the mattress was. I'm just glad you weren't selling toilets!"

You know, I couldn't MAKE this stuff up if I tried!

I didn't get off til almost eleven and got home shortly after midnight but made over two hundred dollars and even had my first "Request Table!"

Switching hats again on Thursday and Friday, working here in Newnan at Mama Lucia's.

"Remember that  wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. You've got to find the treasure, so that everything else you have learned along the way can make sense." (The Alchemist)

So I'm just a "Server." But you know what? I'm pretty stinking good at it. It's all just sales and marketing,  not only enjoy it but have helped raise three kids with it and never hate going into my job.

Once again realizing how completely blessed I am, even with all the difficulties we've been through.

"One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving." (yet again The Alchemist)

I am loved and loved by many. I am blessed with family, friends and doing something I enjoy along the way.

Writing will always be my first passion, but HECK, I'm doing THAT along the way too!

Til next time, a finally Contented COTTON.

Feeling Like Myself Again

These past few weeks have been excruciatingly hard for me, and mean it. I ventured out from my comfort zone to make a change, wondering the entire time if I had made a mistake?

I'm still flustered and overwhelmed, but now in a good way.

I'm commuting five days a week to a job twenty five miles away, in a borrowed vehicle none the less and feel guilty every day I climb in to my neighbor's borrowed truck. When I've gotten back home after work this past week and deposited the truck back to his driveway, I got out of it over two hundred dollars richer.

That's huge for us.

I still have lots to learn but am soaking it in as fast as they teach it to me. I still make mistakes but so far nothing monumental and work as hard as I can every time I'm there. I haven't been late once for a shift and often stay late to help. Trust me, I can use the practice!

Tomorrow is my first payday since beginning to wait tables and should have enough deposited directly into my account to cover half of a mortgage payment and is with only three days of serving on the floor, with a limited section and not nearly as many tables as the other servers.

"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and history of the world were written by the same hand." (The Alchemist)

In between zooming from job to job have been reading "The Alchemist" and may sound crazy but been quite enlightening.

I was so terrified about leaving my comfort job right now,  which I love but simply isn't enough for the debt accrued.

"And, when you can't go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward." (The Alchemist)

I'm moving forward in the only way I can and couldn't have done it without my comfort zone job albeit begrudgingly,  allowed me to do so.

I will be and am, eternally grateful to them.

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it." (The Alchemist)

I've had God on my side. I've had family on my side. I've had friends and even Blog readers on my side. You have all conspired and INSPIRED.

While reading this amazing book this past week have often thought was written expressly  for me at this exact given moment in my life.

As far as moving away from my Mama Lucia's family this next quote hit the nail on the head.

"He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have."

I don't want or need millions. I simply want to do what is best for my family and is currently keeping our house, less than four years away from being paid off.

"The future belongs to God, and it is only He who reveals it, under extraordinary circumstances. How do I guess at the future? Based on the omens of the present. The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves His children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity." ( once again The Alchemist)

May sound like a dummy (won't be the first OR last time) giving so much credence  to written words in a work of fiction  but can't deny how much they speak to me.

Crashing early, hoping to wake up with fewer wrinkles and gray hair.

As my daughter so wisely taught me "I got this!"

Til next time...COTTON



 









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Girl Time!

My camp counselor came home this weekend after training for a visit before all the kiddos arrive at camp next week. Pretty nice digs for a camp! This is the main cabin for the girl's she'll be in charge of. It has a kitchen, great room with TV, bathrooms for the campers and one for the counselors. It also has a loft. 

Here's  a picture of a frog on a log! It even has a lady bug on it's face...click on the picture to enlarge.

This was taken from the back side of the main cabin. That's Massey's cabin on the left and the girl's three cabins on the right.

The above photo is Ivy Corner, it has a spa house where they make soaps, lip gloss, bath salts, face masks and a place where they can paint their nails.

Here's Massey and her college room mate petting Misty, a pet deer known as their "Deer Dog." She was found when only two days old and raised with puppies being bottle fed, then brought to the camp to live on the 220 acre camp.

I'm excited for Massey to have this opportunity this summer, think she will have a ball and know those girls will love her being their counselor.

Canoeing in the lake, archery, swimming in the pool, arts and crafts, building shelters in the woods like the one above and much more.

I'm not sure who's luckier... Massey and her friends from college who are counselors this summer or the girls who will attend the camp?

Just glad to have her home this weekend.

My little girl has grown up and just thinking of this brings a little tear to my eye and a huge tug on my heart strings.

One summer she was just a little tot.

Seemed like the next year she was going to prom.

Then prom again.

I turned my head to look away for what seemed like just a second and suddenly she was having senior pictures made.

Then the next time I turn around she's finishing her freshman year at college and looking WAY too grown up.

This little girl who almost killed us both by demanding to be born in August instead of October weighing in at barely four pounds, fought like a giant and beat all the odds.

She's always been my garden of sunshine and will always be my best friend.

Her life is just beginning and can't wait to see how far she goes.

She loves me even though I'm a crazy person.

 She loves me with all my faults and I love her with her own.

We're like "Peas and carrots" as Forrest Gump said.

I'm proud of all my kids and love them so much it is a physical ache but the bond between mother and daughter is unique. Boys don't care for all the " Touchy Feely" stuff. Girls do.

This is me with my own mother at the age of fourteen. Little did I know,  less than three years later the hugs would end.

Every day I have with Massey is a blessing. When I was her age my own mother was gone.

I may think I'm older and wiser than her but have a feeling she will end up being the smarter one. At least I hope so.

Go gettum kid!

Til next time, a pretty proud COTTON