Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Feeling Like Myself Again

These past few weeks have been excruciatingly hard for me, and mean it. I ventured out from my comfort zone to make a change, wondering the entire time if I had made a mistake?

I'm still flustered and overwhelmed, but now in a good way.

I'm commuting five days a week to a job twenty five miles away, in a borrowed vehicle none the less and feel guilty every day I climb in to my neighbor's borrowed truck. When I've gotten back home after work this past week and deposited the truck back to his driveway, I got out of it over two hundred dollars richer.

That's huge for us.

I still have lots to learn but am soaking it in as fast as they teach it to me. I still make mistakes but so far nothing monumental and work as hard as I can every time I'm there. I haven't been late once for a shift and often stay late to help. Trust me, I can use the practice!

Tomorrow is my first payday since beginning to wait tables and should have enough deposited directly into my account to cover half of a mortgage payment and is with only three days of serving on the floor, with a limited section and not nearly as many tables as the other servers.

"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and history of the world were written by the same hand." (The Alchemist)

In between zooming from job to job have been reading "The Alchemist" and may sound crazy but been quite enlightening.

I was so terrified about leaving my comfort job right now,  which I love but simply isn't enough for the debt accrued.

"And, when you can't go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward." (The Alchemist)

I'm moving forward in the only way I can and couldn't have done it without my comfort zone job albeit begrudgingly,  allowed me to do so.

I will be and am, eternally grateful to them.

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it." (The Alchemist)

I've had God on my side. I've had family on my side. I've had friends and even Blog readers on my side. You have all conspired and INSPIRED.

While reading this amazing book this past week have often thought was written expressly  for me at this exact given moment in my life.

As far as moving away from my Mama Lucia's family this next quote hit the nail on the head.

"He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have."

I don't want or need millions. I simply want to do what is best for my family and is currently keeping our house, less than four years away from being paid off.

"The future belongs to God, and it is only He who reveals it, under extraordinary circumstances. How do I guess at the future? Based on the omens of the present. The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves His children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity." ( once again The Alchemist)

May sound like a dummy (won't be the first OR last time) giving so much credence  to written words in a work of fiction  but can't deny how much they speak to me.

Crashing early, hoping to wake up with fewer wrinkles and gray hair.

As my daughter so wisely taught me "I got this!"

Til next time...COTTON



No comments: