I was a scary looking baby from the jump.
I went from kinda cute as a fat baby to pretty cute as a toddler...then the bottom dropped out.
Yikes!
I can't believe my parents actually bought this school picture, must have been a pity purchase on their part.
I continued my awkward phase, and obvious obsession with ugly red dresses with white collars for quite a few years...sheesh.
I bounced back to semi awkward but still dressed in red and white, kinda changing it up a bit with this culotte dress my mother made for me. Dang I loved that sailor suit!
I was hard to look at for more years than I care to remember. It's also hard to believe I had a happy and excellent childhood, growing up looking the way I did.
I made a short comeback after a few more horrible pics in elementary, middle and most of high school. I finally got a reprieve my junior and senior year in high school.
I have scrolled through every picture I have of me on my computer, Face book and phone.
The first decent picture I had taken of me since that high school photo of me as a cheerleader (yes I made Captain, thank you very much) was when Massey, my youngest child had her senior pictures taken early one freezing cold morning at Starr's Mill. The photographer took a candid shot of us both, just (probably) to make me feel included. I didn't have on a stitch of makeup and had gotten only two hours of sleep after getting off late the night before, but I really liked the picture.
I like it because this was around the time Massey and I became true best friends. Tim and I had been struggling financially for the past few years, almost losing our house and Tim was out of work. One of Massey's teachers took her senior pictures and let me make payments on them. They all turned out great, by the way.
Massey was old enough to know we were dirt poor. She was a senior in high school and there were so many things we simply couldn't afford to do for her with all her other classmates.
Massey never complained...not once. She got to participate in a lot of things because I volunteered every chance I got and many other parents chipped in to help her as well.
I think that was around the time I realized what life was really all about...and unashamedly, so did she.
People bought us groceries, gave us gift cards, bought our Thanksgiving dinner and pumped out our septic tank after it backed up. One guy even paid to have our A/C unit fixed one hot summer and everyone, generally saw us through the storm.
I used to think that was the worst time in our lives, but it wasn't. It was the best.
So here I am again, photographed once again without makeup. Makeup tends to hide things. I like to show and experience things.
We struggled for about four or five more years, but then just like that... it happened. The Karma train rolled into the station and picked us all up, free of charge, with all dues paid.
I've existed for fifty seven years, but lived the past decade...thanks to much love, affection and genuine, sincere kindness.
I used to think of myself as being middle aged, but unless I live to be one hundred fifteen am pretty much on the rapid downside of life.
That's okay too.
I came into this world and after decades of floundering, feel like I've made it somewhat a better place.
Am I the best person?
Hell to the No!
Am I the worst?
Not even close.
If I had to (and will be doing so sooner than later) write my own obituary, would certainly include this:
If you never have bad times, how would you be able to tell when you are having good times?
Happy Birthday to Me.
Life comes with no guarantees.
I once spoke at a funeral for a relative of ours a few years back. Another family member came up to me after the service, shook my hand and said he really connected with what I said about life.
I don't remember verbatim but was along these lines...
"Life is the instant you take in a breath, exhaling is never guaranteed."
Happy Birthday to Me.
Till next time...COTTON
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