Wednesday, July 5, 2017

My Lost (Birthday) Boy

Tomorrow my Lost Boy is turning twenty five. I'm off tomorrow and halfway tempted to get in my car and drive up to spend it with him.

I have a totally different relationship with each of my three kids, with Zach's being the most complicated. We're so much alike it scares me (and probably him) as well.

If there's one meme which aptly decribes our relationship, is certainly this one.

Zach was a happy go lucky kid, always happy and smiling...finding joy in everything he did.

 This a picture of him with his cousin, Casey at the beach one year. I have it framed somewhere, probably packed away in our storage unit waiting for us to move into our forever home here in Orlando.

Tim and Zach have always gotten on well together, mainly because Tim never argues, unlike his bossy wife.

It's hard to believe Zach's turning a quarter of a century old tomorrow. Seems like yesterday he was still my little capuchin monkey.

He was diagnoised with ADD in second grade, and our battles began. It was before they had meds strictly for ADD and was put on a stimulant prescribed for ADHD as well. He started making straight A's but after eating breakfast at the house before school and taking his pill, wouldn't eat again until well after dinner time. At the time I was working at the elementary school in the cafeteria. He'd come through the lunch line, pick up his tray and head for his table. Then he'd sit, chomping his teeth together and look at the ceiling tiles seemingly counting them and never touch his food.

I decided him making B's and C's with a healthy appetite was the better way to roll.

By fifth grade they had a non stimulant option, specifically for ADD and put him back on meds. He bucked, probably remembering the feeling the last pills gave him. Then our battles truly started.

By the time he was in middle school, he was miserable...and so was I. 

I've kept this pic to remind me of what a horrible decision I made at the time. He's the smartest kid I know and yes, does suffer from ADD but just don't think pills were the way to go.

My bad...and will always regret it.

It made him feel like something was wrong with him, and that's never a good feeling, especially to a fourteen year old with "Dirdy Blond" hair who felt his distinguising features were "Ugly, thin, fast."

Although he was a pretty fast runner.

High school didn't get much better and felt like torture to him...and me.

He somehow made it through though and not sure who was happier, us or the faculty of the high school.

I got me an eclectic bunch of kids and couldn't be happier about it. I get to see life from their three unique and different perspectives. 

Being an adult can be hard, and Zach's had a doozy of a trip. If I was still at the airport gig, could swoop in and give him all the help he needs right now, but I'm not and can't.

Instead help when I can and pray for him when I can't. 

Happy Birthday to my youngest son, Zach.

You're burdened with being  just like me but think may be (hopefully) the thing which gets you through these trying times.

I don't worry so much about Massey and TJ. They are like minded. I worry about Zach because he is so me. 

I don't want for him to struggle, which he is. But also know if I made it, so can he.

Happy Birthday to Zach. Keep those thumbs up and know I am here for you...any time, any day and at any hour.

I strive for good...

Till next time, COTTON

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