Freshman Year Done!

Tim just hauled Massey back to school for her last week as a freshman in college. I'm not sure how it flew by so rapidly but pretty sure it did for her as well.


This is how she looked the first time I met her. Wires, tubes and monitors.

She scared me to death coming into the world months early but was one resilient baby.

She ultimately turned out to be an equally resilient young lady.

Unfortunately all my kids were old enough to realize what was going on when our lives took a turn for the worse.

It's been a struggle, no doubt but been the card's we were dealt.

My boys have never complained, not that Massey has either but men seem to hide emotions much better than women. I suppose it's a built in (male) coping mechanism.

Fortunately (very fortunately) my girl and I have always remained close.


So this next weekend she comes home for the summer after completing her freshman year in college.

I saw this picture she had posted, before attending her hall banquet and didn't quite know what to think?

Is this the same little girl who looked like this just a few weeks ago in my mind?

The thing about having a girl is you are raising your best friend if you do it right.

 Raising boys is completely different. They will always love you but not necessarily need to be your "Bestie."

Last year this time, Massey walked across that stage and entered the real world.

High school is fun...but simply a tiny blip on the huge screen of your life.

College is where you either make your mark or miss it.

She is blessed with having a fantastic room mate who's family loves her like one of their own.

We're the Clampetts and they are the Drysdales. (without the attitude) They are by no way millionaires but a secure and financially stable family. Once again, we are blessed.

They have taken my daughter under their wing and thanks to them has had every comfort of home in her dorm room.

Life is a strange and winding path with so many turns it could make your head spin, and often has.

I tend to look at it this way:

We're not doing well financially but are blessed and loved.

What more could a person ask for?

Massey seems to have hit her stride. She has determination and that's all it takes.

Webster's define determination as  " A fixed movement or tendency toward an object or end."

She has worked her way through her freshman year with a job in the mail room earning her own money and even loaned me a couple of bucks from time to time. She has a job lined up this summer as a counselor at camp for the months of June and July.

I have no doubt or qualms about how far she will go in life and most probably exceed her wildest dreams, enjoying it every minute of the way!

As the brilliant Dr. Seuss said "Kid, you'll move mountains."

Look out world, here comes MASSEY ANN COTTON!

Til next time...COTTON

Great Day All Around

Well I hit a wrong button and my entire blog got deleted. So much for modern technology. Short version, had a great day, glad I took yesterday off. I got so much crap done it ain't even funny. My garage is still a work in progress but down to ten empty cardboard boxes and can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm a hoarder, one of the reasons we were able to beat being audited by the IRS ten years ago. I still had receipts they needed, school records and even mortgage statements dating back to the eighties.

Went into work today after showering and doing the makeup thing (which I never do on my off days) and had an excellent night at work. Every table was a pleasure and waited on several of my regulars (Thanks, Shawn)

I rolled big and was much needed. Around nine the hostess said the guy sitting at a bar table had requested me. Requests are good but peered around the corner and didn't recognize him. I wondered if he was was from the bank I kite with or from our mortgage company, Hells Fargo? He seemed nice looking and pleasant so  sauntered up to the table. He asked if I was Kelly and almost felt like saying, "Who's asking?" I bit the bullet and said I was.

Believe it or not, he was the hall director from the dorm my girl lives in at Georgia State University! He had to come to the south-side of Atlanta to pick something up and my girl had told him to come eat at Mama Lucia's.

My first thought was I was thrilled my girl wasn't embarrassed her momma was a server. My second thought was what a charming person he was! Handsome, easy to talk with and an on the ball guy. Being the bossy woman I am,  picked out his entree. He had Ted's Chicken Picatta. Pounded thin chicken breasts breaded with Italian bread crumbs cooked in extra virgin olive oil in the oven. Put the breasts over linguine, add the lemon butter sauce with capers. Then quarter, lightly dust with flour artichoke hearts and flash fry them. Add them to the dish and it's pretty amazing. He had a Mozzarella Caprese first, my all time fave. We use fresh mozz, vine ripe tomatoes, roasted red peppers, cold pressed extra virgin olive oil and an amazing balsamic demi glaze with fresh basil, sea salt and cracked pepper.

I think he enjoyed his meal but what absolutely made my night, month and year was how highly he talked about my girl.

This little bit has grown into this young woman.

Then blossomed into this one.

I'm still thinking there was a baby swap but I'm keeping her.

He said Massey had been a pleasure to get to know. He said he felt she was destined to go far and had really found her niche in university life. As he said the words, my heart swelled and I actually teared up.

It may sound stupid but  know what all my kids have seen Tim and I go through these past few years and if she is making these strides, plowing ahead to make her own way and destiny, it certainly makes a momma proud. I did go into the restroom at work and cry. It was, as Oprah says...an A-HA moment.

I have absolutely no doubt this little girl will go far.!

She already has.

Til next time, a proud momma COTTON

First Visit

Worked the day shift at  the restaurant today. My sister and her husband came in to eat brunch with her former flight attendant buddy, her husband and one of their daughters. It wasn't balls to  the walls busy  so I got to chat while I waited on  them. It was my sister's friends  anniversary so Cin had me get my boss Len  to make them  his yummy cannoli cake for dessert.  I've told my sister about how when parties order one we take it out and show them the cake, let them take pictures then take it back to the kitchen to cut and serve it. That way, us servers are sure to get a nice fat slice too!

After they finished brunch my sister said "We'll be wanting you  to cut our cake at  the table please." She so funny!! There was plenty left over for us servers, Barb (the owner's wife) and the guests of honor. Len bakes a mean cake.

Massey's roomie's mom brought some blackout curtains and a curtain rod by for the girl's dorm room which gets full sun through a huge window so after work I went for a short visit. The bartender at  work wanted to go with me, got off when I did  and actually HAS a car, unlike me so it worked out great! We zipped up there in no time in her cute little Scion. We parked in the lot next  to  the dorm. It said $6.00 on  the sign and said to put  the money into  a slot on one of  those big self pay boxes. We were in space number 41. I went to put the money in but the numbers started at  101 and went up  to 180. I told her what the heck, we weren't staying long, lets just go get  the girls and take them to dinner.

If I was worried  about  Massey's safety (which I am) fears were quickly put to rest when we stepped into  the lobby of her dorm. I told them I was there to see Massey  Cotton. They told me she had to  come downstairs  to check me in. When Massey  got  there, I had to surrender my drivers license, give them my cell phone number and after scrutinizing my ID had a bracelet taped around my wrist. When you get in the elevator to go up to her floor, Massey has to scan her card before the elevator will work. So I had to wait in line for a minute or two, I'm  down with that...just keep my girl safe. Even when students  come into  the lobby,  they have to stop and show their ID before going to the elevators. I like it!

We went up  to their room and hung the curtains for them. We had the door propped open and  I bet at  least four people stopped by and said hello to the girls, one of them even said "You must be Mrs. Cotton, nice to meet you!"

I'm thinking I like this place!

I was worried about  my friend's car and would hate to drive back  to Newnan with her car booted. I remember a Simpsons episode when Homer's car got booted and he drove home anyway with  the car kerplunking over the boot. Click on the video.

Her car wasn't booted so we all piled in and went to the Varsity for a lube job. We ordered our  food when my friend decided to add a F.O. to her order. That  would be a Frosted Orange, a frozen specialty at  the Varsity. She told the girl  behind the counter "That's $2.39 extra." The girl said "How'd you know that?" My friend  said it was on the menu board behind the  girl's  head, but I chirped right in, pointed at my friend and said "She used to work here." The girl said "For real?" I almost said "Fo shizzle!"

Let me just state here that I have been eating at  the Varsity  since  the sixties and have NEVER seen a white person behind the counter at  the Varsity taking orders. Giving them, maybe. It's mostly African Americans and Indians ( dot not the feather).

We  ate our deliciously disgusting food and had  a great  chat. We  took the girls back  to their dorm taking the scenic route.  Downtown Atlanta is an amazing and beautiful city. I'm elated that Massey has  this opportunity and know she will make the most of it. We illegally parked again in the lot and walked  the girls back  to the front door of the dorm.

Hugs all around, kisses and hugs again.

It's crazy, but I'm okay with this so far. I thought I would be a wreck but feel really good about the security. If they are ever anywhere on campus and feel uneasy they can make a call and be escorted home by  campus police. Buses for  the school run every ten minutes and you can't get on one without scanning  your card.

It takes a little time to get into her dorm to see her but I appreciate the extra effort.

She starts classes tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this. It's not been easy getting her this far but know in my heart she will take and appreciate this opportunity, make us all proud and go far in life.

HUGE shout out to my brother who helped make it all happen. Huge shout out to my sister and bro in law who loaned me a car tonight so I can start my new job  this week. Just a general shout  to everyone who loves and cares for me, I am one extremely stinking lucky person.

Life is good, God is good and I am blessed beyond belief! It's a wonderful  thing to be loved.

Til next  time...COTTON

I'm Ready Now

It's been a long and twisting road. It's had good  turns and some bad detours but we've made it to the starting gate. Thursday morning we move Massey into her dorm room. It just seems funny using Massey  and dorm room in the  same sentence.

She was a happy little girl and  hate to lose my daily bestie but know it's time. I'm over the sad part and beginning to feel her excitement, it's contagious.

Yes I've spoiled her but at least she's not rotten. She's a driven young woman who knows what she wants and chomping at the bit to get started. How can I be sad about that?

I'm ready now. I'm ready  to take her up there, settle her in and come back home to wait and see what  all she can accomplish on her own.

I wish I had been half the kid she is at  the age of eighteen.Waking  up tomorrow and taking her to college.  Coming home without her.

Leaving her in good hands, a great  room mate and a great university. I'm over the anxiety and simply excited to see how far she can go.

You got this girl, I know you do!

Eighteen years ago you  were a tiny four pound baby who was lucky to survive.

Today you are a young  woman who not only beat  the odds but is destined for success.

Go  gettum girl. Show  the world what a Leach/Cotton can do!

You are a beautiful young woman, inside and out. I know you will make me proud, you  already have!

Til next  time...COTTON

Girl Gone...

This time tomorrow night, I will be at work and Massey will be landing in New York City. I am a worrier to begin with but every  time I think about this trip my eyes well up with tears. I am excited beyond belief  for her but worried about my own  sanity without my sidekick of almost eighteen years for four days. Massey and I are close.  We  fight like best friends do and we love like best friends do...we simply ARE best friends.

This trip seemed so far away when it was planned. Now it is knocking on the door asking for bags  to be packed.

They are doing so many amazing things ...NBC Studios tour, Rockefeller Center, 5th Avenue (please don't shop there, Massey) Manhattan, Gershwin Theatre, Broadway for a chorus workshop .Times Square, 911 Memorial, Lincoln Center, Central Park, Radio City Music Hall, St. Patrick's Cathedral, Carnegie Hall, Apollo Theatre and seeing Wicked on Broadway.

The wind is crazy here tonight. Blowing 20 to 30 mph gusts. I feel like they are blowing Massey  away from me. She's my youngest and the most ready to fly away. I know she is ready, but I'm not.

It's killing me knowing she is ready and am very unprepared  (mostly unwilling) to let her go.

I know I will survive but is a hard pill for a Momma to swallow.

Seems like last week I took this picture. Now TJ is living in Australia, Zach is thinking about moving out and Massey is moving ahead so quickly it makes my head spin.

When they are born you are excited but know you have made at least an eighteen year investment. I'm down to my last one but never thought letting go would be so excruciating.

This little girl who came into the world weighing barely four pounds is ready to spread her wings and fly. I want to stop her. I want to hold her back. I want to keep her...but I can't.

When applying for college scholarships my sister, being a former teacher wrote a letter of recommendation for Massey which truly says it all:

"Dear Sir or Madam,
I have never had a request for a letter of recommendation that was easier or more pleasant to write than this one for Massey  Cotton, someone very worthy of your help. As a former  high school teacher I can say that high school students with  Massey's compassion are few and far between. She treats everyone with respect and is friends with students across all  social, racial and economic strata. Kids with physical disabilities are just as likely to be smiled upon and treated as special by  Massey as are the more popular kids, all of whom are her friends. While her family has had financial struggles not of their own making the last few years, Massey never complained or felt sorry  for herself, but has grown even closer to her family and is grateful for how hard her parents work. She takes her education seriously and works hard. I hope that she will be successful and make a lot money doing what she loves. She hopes she can get an education so that she can be of help to others. How many seventeen year old's think  like that? Massey  is as unique as her name. She was given the maiden name of her grandmother who died at age 48, on August 19, 1977, the day Massey was born, eighteen years later.

I thank you for your consideration of this most special girl.
Sincerely,
Cindy Leach Hall"

 Okay. I'm not gonna cry anymore. Massey and I have been doing the dance all night. I am anxious  she is going to the world's biggest city and she is upset I am a worrier.

I am throwing caution to the wind and letting her go. How ironic is it that we are under a "Wind Advisory" tonight?

How hard and long can you hug a girl? Guess I'll find out in the morning!

Til next  time...COTTON

A Good Night Off

I work every weekend night. Tonight was the exception and an excellent decision. Massey was selected for the district Honor Chorus from her school. She wears me out but fills my heart.

She spent yesterday and today learning and memorizing four songs with others from our district and they performed tonight. It was an  amazing concert and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Tim went and even Zach. The place was packed and as they announced videos were forbidden, I took my place on the last row of the balcony crouched with my cam corder on. I took it as a mere suggestion.

The chorus filed in, well over one hundred kids...closer to two hundred. Massey walked in and immediately spotted us (me) waving at her and the smile on her face made my heart sing.

I've attended every one of her concerts except one , and I sent Zach  in my place with my cam corder to record it for me. I came home to discover he went with his buddy and they not only sat on the back row but talked throughout the entire concert and video taped every hot girl's face in the auditorium and gave a running commentary  the entire time with Massey's choir as background music to  their montage of random photos  and thoughts about who was a geek and who was a loser.

Tonight was magnificent!

She was selected for Honor Chorus from our school district and the concert certainly didn't disappoint. As we waited for the doors to open I asked the woman working the event if I could video tape and she said it was prohibited. I started to ask "Even for Cotton's?" but decided on "If it was your daughter's senior year and she had never been selected before , would you  tape it?" She wavered her head and looked away with a smile which to me said "Sit on the back row and keep  the camera low."

OH MY GOSH...When the first sounds came out of their mouths I started crying. It was glorious!

I have a girl with some serious talent. I have a girl who is just hitting her stride. I have a girl who is going places.

I leaned against the back wall of the church illegally filming with tears in my eyes. I don't care if I could have made two hundred dollars tonight at work...this was worth every penny.

I'll tell you how good they were, even Zach was impressed.

I went backstage afterwards to find her and hug her neck. We immediately held hands and every thing was perfect in my world. The first  thing she said was "Thank you for taping us when they told you not to."

Massey can wear me out and often does. Then I think back to how I was at her age. No where near as committed, driven or determined. The only direction I had was to go away to college and major in night clubs and dancing.

I'm gonna give Massey a pass on wearing me out because she brings such light and joy to every one she meets. I'm still gonna have to keep tabs on her and reign her in every once in a while but tonight I felt like the luckiest momma on earth...and I am.

Til next  time...COTTON

The Last is the Hardest, By Far

This teeny tiny girl, barely weighing four pounds came into my world on August nineteenth in the year 1995. She was due on  October fifth. The amazing thing is right from the jump I knew she was a miracle. I already had two sons. When I found out I was having a girl and her due date was my late momma's birthday I decided right then to name her after my momma. My momma's maiden name was Ann Massey so I picked Massey Ann for my girl's name. She surprised us all by coming WAY too early  when my placenta ruptured in the early morning hours of August. I was rushed to the hospital by  ambulance and delivered Massey in less  than ten minutes via an emergency C- section.

Her face was smaller than my hand and I'm no giant. She was  tiny but she was beautiful.

She didn't say a word for almost two years, but hasn't shut up since so I knew she was mine!

This is hands down my favorite pic of Massey.  The people at  the nursery school didn't think I would like it because she wasn't smiling but  this is PURE Massey! She's a head full of curly hair and a mind determined. She made it from a premature baby to blossom and grow beyond my wildest dreams.

She was a beauty and captured all of our hearts.

 She has a BFFL living right next door and they have grown up together.

She  hit middle school and found her stride. She became involved in  the crazy world of Color Guard and sucked me right into  it as  well.

She learned camaraderie and commitment. She learned what it is to dedicate yourself.  I learned how powerful  love and friendship are. We didn't have money  to pay our mortgage but by  the grace of friends,  Massey spent five seasons with the Guard.

Her Junior year she quit the Guard and focused on her studies. My oldest son sailed through high  school graduating with a 3.8 GPA. My youngest son was lucky to make it out but could rule the world if he applied himself. He's the smart one who refuses to accept his genius abilities but seems to be coming around.



Massey simply wants to conquer the world and I am behind her one hundred percent.

It hit me tonight like a ton of bricks. This little girl, this tiny baby I had almost eighteen years ago is  ready to flap her wings and I'm not ready to let her go.

I've be so concerned about my pup, Ham. I've been so concerned about our IRS debacle. I've been so concerned about bills and starting a new job that I failed to  realize in less than six months, Massey will be gone.

When I wasn't looking or thinking, my girl has grown up. She is hands down my best  friend. She is high maintenance but gives me so much joy that everything else falls  to  the way side.

Go Gettum Massey.  You have already made me so proud. Can't wait to see how far you  go!