What a Whirlwind of a Week

Massey finally graduated this past Saturday along with 585 other classmates. The week leading up  to it was about as relaxing as a root canal.

I worked every day (or night) depending on whether I was serving tables or moving furniture. The morning before her graduation I was cat napping on the sofa before work when Tim let the dogs out back. When he let them back in, Ziggy staggered in like he was drunk. The boy was wobbly and wouldn't even sit. He just stood still (a first) and remained like that for ten minutes with slobber dripping. After about thirty minutes he finally climbed the steps into  the living room and settled in a heap behind the sofa. One hour later his tail was wagging but he was lethargic the rest of the day. We didn't know if he had eaten something poisonous or been bitten but at least he wasn't tearing up  the house. He never even went near the back of the yard where he regularly tries to escape. He didn't even eat any of the potatoes in my potato bin (a daily snack) or take a dump in the house. He was the perfect dog, albeit a puny feeling one.

Zach commented the next  day, "We need to find out what he ate and give it to him once  week." We found a small knot on his neck that looked like a bite and thought maybe he chased something that bit him. Knowing Ziggy, that could be anything from a rabbit to a snake. He survived and the week went on.

I had to work at the restaurant the night before graduation and got off after eleven. Zach took Massey  out for a graduation dinner with Tim and one of Tim's best friends. Massey's aunt Dellen and my brother joined them and they all came to the restaurant to eat in my section. I took everyone's order and took Tim's last. When I asked Tim what he'd like, my ever so funny brother piped in "An uncontested divorce." That got a laugh out of everyone and a thoughtful look on Tim's face.

 I went to the grocery store after work... came home, prepared food and cleaned house til well after three in the morning. I fell out for four hours and left the house for graduation shortly after eight.

The grads rounded the track and filled the seats and my heart was pounding. This was it! My last child was graduating high school. How the years flew by amazes me.

Had everyone over to our house afterwards. We cooked burgers and brats. We had BBQ chicken sandwiches, spinach rolls and sausage rolls with peppers and onions, fresh fruit, pasta salad, hash brown casserole  and my boss's son made Massey a triple chocolate layer cake as a graduation present. Lots of food and lots of laughter and love.

My college room mate came with her hubs and precious daughter. Oh the things we laughed about from our college days! Thank goodness most of it went right over her young daughter's head. Her daughter was an unexpected surprise when my roomie was in her later forties but is a doll.

Massey didn't feel too well, woke up with a fever and cough the day day of graduation but powered through. It all wound down around seven and by eight I had all dishes and the kitchen clean and crashed myself.

No rest  for the weary, I had cleaned out the island in our front yard the day before graduation and the chiggers made a meal of my body. I fell asleep on the sofa scratching myself silly all through  the night. I worked at  the restaurant the next day and came home to resume the scratching position, falling out as soon as I got home from work. Thankfully I had Monday off and took it easy. Massey and I went out for dinner, Tim and Zach were at work.

Tuesday came way too quickly and I was back to selling furniture. We're having a store closing sale and it was insanely busy. I moved over two thousand pounds of furniture and sweated like Mel Gibson at The Apollo Theatre from the time I opened the doors til the time I locked them at close. Wednesday was a little less frantic. Thursday rolled around and the mob was brutal. I had someone who came in at four to help me but before that was busier than I ever expected. I sold a queen mattress and box springs to be picked up the next  day so  decided to move them to the front of the store for pick up. We have a fancy  little rolling cart we load mattresses and box springs on. I tugged the mattress onto  the cart and like the doofus I am decided I would stand inside the cart and drag the mattress onto it. At the time there was only one other guy in the store and he was flat on his back testing out a memory foam mattress.

As I was dragging the queen size mattress onto the cart it shifted and the cart tilted. Two seconds later I hit the concrete floor with  a queen size mattress on top of me with my feet sticking out like the wicked witch from  the Wizard of Oz after the tornado tore up the house. It took me about ten seconds to wriggle out from underneath the mattress and untangle myself  from the cart but did it just in time before my customer got up from trying out the memory foam mattress to say he wanted to buy it.

By this point I was sweating like a fat wrestler and limping like Fetus from Gunsmoke.

The end result was great for me, made tons of sales and a nice commission check. I'm bumbling my way  through this furniture gig but selling like crazy. I screwed up the other night putting in my numbers (I've never used the system excel before) but when the owner called the next  day about my goof  said "We've never fired anyone for selling too much furniture."

I like having two jobs. My serving job I know like the back of my hand, my furniture job is a bit more complicated with the computer programs but know how to sell and  have been pretty successful so far.

I made enough this week that I gave up my restaurant shift tomorrow night and will be okay.

I've been getting to sleep earlier every night and feel better every day.

God truly takes care of His own.

Til next time...COTTON

Excellent Weekend

Friday night I made enough at the restaurant to make it through the rest of the weekend without waiting tables and Saturday morning woke up as a furniture salesman. I had a pretty  good day. Sometimes people walk in and you think it's a lost cause. Never judge and always give it your best. One man I thought would never buy  anything bought a $1200 mattress and a $400 recliner. I had another guy who bought two memory  foam pillows he saw there last weekend. Today a couple picked up  their $999 sectional I sold them last weekend.

Today started slow but you gotta keep  the faith. I was almost to my goal and the clock was ticking. I had less than an hour when in walked a young couple with a tiny baby.  Thirty minutes later I was ringing them up for just over $1000.00.

Early today a custom bus pulled into the parking lot, taking up at least ten spaces. A dude who looked like a member of ZZ Topp got out and started working on the bus.  It was early and things were slow so my co worker and I watched them intently,  saying to each other "I bet that's someone famous." My co worker (who I call Snookie since she's from Jersey) said "Go out and see who they are."

I don't know if it's cause I'm new and follow all instructions or if I'm just bold but I strutted my little self out to  the bus where a guy with a beard down to his belt , gauges the size of a quarter and tatts covering both arms sat diligently working on the bus.  I asked if there was someone famous on the bus and he laughed. I said I didn't want to meet them but was curious. He said it was a heavy metal rock band from Germany, "KMFDM."  I'd never heard of them but could guess what the "F" stood for. The dude looked like a bad ass biker but was friendly enough to me. Several of the members of the band wandered around the parking lot as he worked on the bus and when the guy told me it was a busted muffler thought to myself "If tatts, Mohawks and gauges could fix a bus  they'd be back on the road in no time!"

Back inside I went. The day wasn't super busy but went by  fast.

Bingo!

 I met a famous heavy metal rock band, had a relaxing day and made some "Cha Ching." The great thing about working at the store is it's stress free and less physically demanding on my tiny frame and mind.

Tomorrow I am back to being a server. I am beginning to feel like a Jekyll and Hyde. Not sure which persona I like better. Maybe I like being a little of both!

Til next  time...Constantly Popping Cotton!

Whadda ya know...I did it again!

Technology is Exhausting to Me

I went into work at three thirty today and clocked out after eleven tonight. I started out running  and quickly went into scrambling mode. I've worked there for three years and have never seen it busier. That's a good thing, but hard when you're fifty three and running on fumes. I made my goal which was pay my sis back the loan she gave me and have gas money.

I  came home and sat down to log in on the computer. Most peeps log in to facebook first...I log into my bank account first. "Server down" No connection. That's bad karma in my book. I called Charter (our provider) and crossed my fingers that someone who was fluent in English would answer. I've called before and felt  like I  was calling Mars. Sometimes you  can't even understand them and they certainly can't understand you. Just saying...

I have called when they  say "This is Quan, how I can  help you?" I simply hang up and redial until someone speaks to me in clear English.
I hit the jack pot and got "Emily" on the first  try. While we were trying to fix the problem, she even  heard my dryer buzz in the background and said "Your clothes are dry."

I should have gone to bed two hours ago, have to be at  my new gig by  ten in the morning but had such a great experience with Emily that I wanted to share it. After going through  the robo menu and finally hitting the "Speak to an agent" button I crossed my fingers hoping for an American. No diss meant for the over seas help  but I struggle with computer issues and language barriers don't help.

Emily felt my pain about not being able to access my bank account. We chatted throughout the entire process and once she got me back on line,  informed her  I was in fact the proud owner of  one hundred and thirty six dollars! She replied "That beats the heck out of  seeing  a negative balance...been there done that."

Outsourcing is a big gripe of mine.  Don't charge me American prices and have me talk to someone in Indonesia when I have an issue in Newnan , Georgia. It's just not right...or as they would say "That no good."

So I should be in bed and will be there shortly.

One last note. Went and got "My Hurr Did" today. It cost $7.99. I tipped her six bucks and walked out looking like a lesbian (as my kids say) for under fifteen bucks! I love it, it's short but so am I.

Saturday  and Sunday I am a furniture salesman (hence the haircut)

It's nice to work there, laid back and relaxed. Let's see if I can sell some stuff this weekend!!

I should have saved "Emily's" cell. I think we could be BFFL's.

Til next  time...COTTON

Beating a Dead Horse (one of my better qualities)

So I worked a double shift today, have another tomorrow and yet another on Tuesday. This has me working every shift at  the restaurant from Saturday night until Wednesday lunch. On top of this...  Massey has been complaining about her throat for at least a week and I have kept saying what any other broke mom would..."It's just allergies."

Barb gave me an ink pen the other day at work that had a little pen light on one end (it's a pretty bright light) and I told her as soon as I took it home Massey would take it from me. The next day she brought me in another one to give Massey. I forgot to give Massey the pen until last night when I got home from work. It was late (very, very late) so I simply left it on her desk.

I got up this morning to open the store and as always left with no minutes to spare. Our garage door opener broke about three years ago and is so far down the list of things to fix it falls right behind my back surgery but in front of my need for an eye exam and glasses, which fall behind my need for a mammogram and pap smear ten years overdue only overshadowed by  the dentist which I haven't been to in thirty years.

 Yep...I'm good as long as I can talk one of the kids into hauling up that heavy garage door (which kills my back and bum shoulder) so I can simply get into my car and drive away from the chaos and go do it again.

Massey opened the garage door for me and had her new pen in her hand. Before I got into my car, she said "Look at this" and shined the pen into her mouth to highlight the ulcers on the back of her throat.

Dang it! She IS sick. I felt terrible.  When I got off from my lunch shift I took home some herbal tea from work and a lemon. I forced her to drink it, loading it down with honey. I got home at 3:26 and had to be back at work by four. After ten minutes of "Mommying" I got in my car and headed back to work. At least the fifty pound garage door was still open and she got to stay inside and rest. Tim had left for work a hour earlier and it was just her and the pups...at least I left her in "Good paws."

Went back to work and relieved my two co workers who were also working a double shift. One of the girl's is a doll that has come on board recently (compared to me.)

 When she first started she did what any good server would do  when starting at a place having such a huge and massive menu... fake it as best she could while trying to seem well informed. She was at a table one night and offered soup or salad to a table. They asked what the soups were and she said 'The cream of crab soup (an up -sell) is a bit more but VERY good." Then they asked about the Lobster Bisque (a HUGE up-sell) to which she remarked "It is VERY Very good."

That's all it took...once I heard about that I ran with it. I will hear her at a table trying to sell a bottle of wine and will remark from the next  table "That is a VERY, Very good wine." Or I will help her take food to her table and set the dish down in front of the customer and make the comment "You enjoy this, it is VERY, very good!"

The problem is my co worker unfortunately thinks I am "VERY" funny and as I comment about the "Very" fabulous dish or drink in front of them (which by  the way is) she always cracks up. I can hold a straight face... which she is totally incapable of.  I could go on for a VERY very long time about this, and  have...for months.

It's like when they hired a cook in the back of the house named "Darquan." Yes he was African American and I often wonder if there was some kind of play on words  naming him that? All I have to say is that's great but don't do it in the south...the deep south. Not everyone is as liberal as me.

So I beat a dead horse...my husband has reminded me of this for years. Obviously he has a VERY very good memory!

Taking my girl to the doctor tomorrow, actually my VERY very nice husband will. I am leaving the money  for him to take her to the Doc in the Box for fifty bucks and having the antibiotic filled for (hopefully) free at Publix or Kroger.

 I am VERY very tired and I am VERY very old but you you know what? I am VERY very much alive and VERY very able to get up in the morning and do it all again.

At least I laugh every day. At least I have a job I love and for some crazy reason my bosses love me. It makes battling back a heck of a lot easier.

My girl will get to the Doc in the Box tomorrow, thanks to my VERY very sweet hubby, I will work another double which will get me VERY very close to being back in the black and if not I have four more shifts to go to insure it.

I am a VERY very lucky person...and this said with NO sarcasm. I am a "LUCKY lucky woman."

My girl will get well tomorrow and I will keep on keeping on.

Til the next time..."A VERY very grateful COTTON"

Can Anyone Multi Task Like a Woman?

When looking for a picture for my blog I came across this one and it made me laugh out loud...Mainly because when Tim and I first got married we had a lawn mower exactly like this and I used it for over two years to cut our grass. I had to hold the handle halfway down where the bars were broken with one hand and guide it along from the top of the handle with my other hand. Talk about a work out! Thank The Lord I was still in my twenties. I tried fixing the handles with duct tape time after time like any sensible girl from the deep south would do and quickly learned duct tape was highly over rated.  The next push mower I  bought was  $40.00 and a piece of junk that barely made it through two seasons of me wearing it out once a week after I brought it home but felt like riding a John Deere while standing up in  the seat and moving my legs one in front of the other and  was pretty happy about it...at least the handle stayed up the entire time!

After years we finally bought a brand new house and after pushing almost two acres for a while bought a riding mower from Tim's boss. It was a Craftsman, older and only lasted a year before backfiring extremely loud in the front yard one day and never cranking it's ugly head again.

My brother in law saw a John Deere for sale chained to the fence by a house around the corner from my subdivision and called me. (Thank you Harvey!)
 Just like I do ...I went and made friends with the ole dude and asked the guy to let me post date a check and drove my baby home! Johnny has been good to me and once the check cleared we were engaged! (Huge pun intended)

I've had to replace three belts two blades one tire and some "thingy" under the seat but he's my baby and I love him!

I opened the restaurant today but got cut by one and had to be back by five. I turned into my driveway while unbuttoning my work shirt and was in shorts and a tank top five minutes later, cranking Ole Johnny up.

I cut the back and side yards, weed eated the entire back yard and  swept the back porch so  the mutts wouldn't track in all the clippings.

 My boss had sent me home with an empty five gallon oil jug from where they fill the fryers at work.  I emptied all the motor oil still sitting in the driveway from when Zach  changed Tim's oil into it...having to throw away my lemonade pitcher he had used after the oil pan container overflowed. BTW did you know that a Mercedes 320ML takes over eight quarts of oil? The guy at the auto parts store told me some Mercedes take twelve quarts. We're talking synthetic oil  and it ain't cheap!

 The jug wasn't full so I emptied all the glass jars I had in the kitchen stored under the kitchen sink. My Fry Daddy broke a while back and I was using old pickle jars to get rid of old grease. The jug was full by  the time I got through and I had ten minutes to get back to work. I took a towel and brushed all the grass clippings off my legs and feet. Pulled back on my tights  and skirt for work, put my back brace on and reapplied up my always minimal make up. I got into my car and put the top down for the drive back to work. Nothing blows grass out of short hair like driving a convertible fifty miles a hour for eight minutes!

I went back into work with no minutes to spare asking another co worker as I buttoned up my work shirt over my back brace if I had any grass clippings still in my hair?  My "Used" to be dear friend said "Only one...no wait a minute that's just a white hair." Heck! She should have pulled THAT one out first!

It was slow at work and I was off before dark. On my ride back home (with the top up) I pulled a plug of grass out of my ear and flung it out the window. I didn't make much money tonight but it was awesome pulling into the driveway not seeing motor oil sitting in pans and how nice and trim my yard looked. That's worth a lot to me.

I may not be a lot of things. I'm not the greatest mom although I strive to be. I am a hard woman to be married to but a hard working woman,  which has so far kept my husband from killing me in my sleep. (thus far)

You know...I used to think I had it bad (which we did for a while) but somehow we made it.  Thanks to Help from above and help from around. You get what you give and that's why I am constantly cramming every possible task into every possible opportunity.

I saw a post today my sister in law from California made from Dr. Seuss and it just struck me once again how brilliant the man was.

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?'

That's my mantra...and that's my goal.
 Til next  time...COTTON

Welcome To MY World Little Missy!

So Massey has started working part time for the restaurant I work for...and she thought OUR family was dysfunctional!

We are a bunch of nuts at work and all a little crazy in our own individual ways, but that's the way I like it. Mixed nuts have always been my favorite.

She's not feeling her best, our furnace has been out for three days and of course she came down with a cold right before the heat went out. On top of that her bedroom is the only one on the ground floor with the garage on the other side of one wall and the front of the house on another...in other words her room is the coldest one in the house. Luckily I bought her a small ceramic space heater last week on a whim for her room and also she is right by the kitchen so I just turn the oven on 200 degrees before I go to bed around 2 and Tim turns it off when he gets up early for work. Heck, I should throw a roast in the oven before I go to bed and dinner would be ready by six in the morning!

She worked with us last night busing tables and I'll have to hand it to her, even feeling like crap she did a great job. She has grown up surrounded by the restaurant world and knows how the system works, knows to ignore the potty mouth she hears from the back and how to behave in the front of the house. One of the hostesses who is eighteen decided to call in and quit over the phone so she got got put on the schedule for this morning as well. I had to close last night and didn't get out til late so Tim picked her up and she came home... fell into bed with another dose of cold medicine and was ready before me this morning for work.

When we got there she asked who the hostess was and I told her "It's YOU."

With brief instructions we opened the doors and "Off she went!"  She did just fine and hung in there til almost four this afternoon when I got off. I took her across the street to Target and bought her some flu medicine, bought her and Zach some sandwiches from Panera and dumped her off at  home and got back to work ten minutes late for my night shift. What amazes me is she did a better job than some of the grown people we have had host for us. She made me proud and has fifty bucks to show for it.

She has the owner Len wrapped around her little finger. I have never seen the big ole bear  as sweet as he is when talking about or to Massey.

Another server, Hoke (my best friend...remember Driving Miss Daisy?) told Massey "Don't get sucked into this restaurant world...it's like a drug, you just can't stop or get out." He is right in a way...look at me! It's a life I chose but a life that has served me well. (small pun) Every shift I work is  pay day, the better I do my job the better the pay check. Not always,  but if you do your best the odds are in your favor. At  the age of fifty "ish" I think of myself more as a writer...a poor writer but still a writer. I have faith in myself that one day it will happen for me and being a server has helped support my family until I can reach my OWN goal... of being discovered, published or both.

Massey will go far in life, I have no doubt. She is driven and hungry (totally a metaphor...I DO feed my kids although we HAVE been through a ton of peanut butter in the past two years and she has only recently learned to drive.)

She will use this job as a vehicle to help her reach her her desired goals and it will be padding along the bumpy way to a successful life.

She's working with a bunch of nuts,  me being one of the biggest ones. I like being a nut, makes life so much more fun!

Another server and I had a group of ten older ladies in a private room today  for their little Christmas get together. They all came,  each in a Christmas sweater or vest..some had both. Of course it was all separate checks. I had the checks printed off but when I went back into the room they had all changed seats to chat with other friends so I just called out what they had ordered wanting them to raise their hand and claim their check.

The first check,  I said "So who had the small Barbarella salad?" They all sat stunned and no one said said anything. I repeated it and they all sat silent and stared at me. Finally the woman in the reindeer vest sat up straight and said "Oh, that was me!"

I said "Thank goodness, I thought maybe I was in the wrong room...it happens to me all the time, that  hamster falls asleep in his little wheel." That got  a chuckle and things went smoothly after that. They were adorable and left us a phat 20% tip.

I  enjoy being in charge of my own destiny. The harder I work, the better service I give... the better my audience seems to appreciate me.

My co worker was right in a way...waiting tables IS like a drug. You need money... you work.  If you need more money you work even more. You work until you have what you need then enjoy the high of your success and want even MORE!

People who don't think being a server is a real job aren't  being real...trust me!

I don't wanna brag but I am a master of my craft and a professional at what I do.  What makes icing on the cake is that I enjoy it and it suits me just fine.

Call me a dealer...I am! I deal out great service in a time when people want the best bank for their buck. When they go out and spend hard earned money...how lucky are they to get not only excellent service but a comedy show for free?

Come see me...I do ten to twelve shows a week!

The beach season has opened in the restaurant world...three weeks where you pack your nuts for the rest of winter. Hopefully my little cheek's will be poppin' and droppin' !!

Come see me for some yummy food and meet the new Hostess Extraordinaire!! Remember, mention my blog and you get a free appetizer or dessert!

Til Next time...COTTON