For Better Or Worse

Number one: why did anyone ever think it was okay to allow guys to wear Daisy Dukes length shorts and number two: why do I always look like a Tom Boy?

This pic was taken while on our honeymoon. California, in September of 1990.

This one was taken in 1991 while we were in Jamaica. Zachary was the end result of this trip, nine months later.

Extremely fitting, especially if you know Zachary.

All three of our kids are as different from each other as their parents are from each other.

Always looking in different directions.

Always.

Our oldest is now thirty two and our youngest just turned twenty three.

Every time I think about my kids, and how amazing they are doing now,  makes me realize what an advantage our marriage has been to them.

They always had the same momma and daddy, who both lived with them, every day and year of the way. 

They were always provided with a comfortable home and later uncomfortable times were made as pleasant as possible.

#yourparentswereloved

So our twenty eighth wedding anniversary is tomorrow.

We have lived together for thirty years.

It has been a trip and a half, but would do it again in a heartbeat.

Throughout  our marriage, we were rewarded with three incredible kids and the most loving family ever.

Yeah, we're gonna call this marriage a success.

Happy Anniversary, Jed aka Timbo!

Love, your crazy wife

(This picture still makes me laugh out loud)

Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

I learned last year, after just recently moving to Orlando that it's hard getting into the spirit of Christmas when is eighty four degrees outside and you're still wearing flip flops every single day.

Massey and I took this picture last year, the day before Christmas Eve, when we both got sunburned after an afternoon on Cocoa Beach together.

Surreal for these Georgia natives!

                                 This was us two years ago right before Christmas Eve.


We moved here the last week of September, 2016. We have yet to turn the heat on in our house. The closest we've come to being cold is having to turn the living room fan off.


I'm gonna be honest...I like it!

I haven't put on a coat since moving here. I've worn a sweater maybe three times.


Last year I couldn't get into Christmas at all. Seemed crazy to me  they were playing "The weather outside is frightful..." on the radio while I was sitting on a beach in a swimsuit.


I remember a manager from work, who was from the north, telling me I'd get used to it sooner than later.

They were right...I did.

I've also quickly gotten used to hurricane preparedness. This was our spare bedroom this past summer the day before Irma hit. We had to take the bed apart to make room for everything from our patio and yards, front and back.



We're  headed back on Friday morning for Georgia to watch our girl walk with her class at her college graduation on Saturday. Temps are perdicted to be in the twenties.

Yikes!

It will feel good to have Christmas temps again, especially knowing it's only for a day or two.

It's going to be wonderful and have all three of our kiddos around us again for the first time in several years...albeit wearing coats, hats and scarves.


As I so quickly grow older, realize more and more about not only my life, but my kids' lives as well.



'I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life'

Till next time...COTTON

Howdy, Autumn!

Summer is my favorite season but love Autumn too. I  drove into Atlanta today after work to get my Massey fix. I talk to her every day but being able to give her a hug makes all the difference in the world. I picked her up outside her dorm and we tooled over five minutes to Virginia/ Highland for a bite to eat.

It's a beautiful part of town with lots of boutiques, galleries and restaurants. I decided to take her to Murphy's, a place I used to frequent over twenty five years ago. It moved a few blocks from it's original spot and is triple the size it used to be but still really good. I was a little disappointed they didn't still serve the stuffed chicken breast with Dill but we each got a nice salad.

Mixed greens with seared rare Tuna, shaved jalapenos, ginger, green onion, radish, avocado and ginger shallot vinaigrette dressing. Massey had a steak salad with bleu cheese,  red onion, tomatoes and spicy croutons. It was a beautiful afternoon and we sat on the patio overlooking the quaint neighborhood. It's been two weeks since I've seen her but she is really growing up...too quickly! We had a wonderful conversation and caught each other up on what's been going on.

Somehow, someway my little girl has become a young woman within what seems like the blink of an eye. She's loving the college life, making lots of new friends and enjoying this marvelous adventure. They had Georgia State night at Zoo Atlanta  this past weekend and she showed me all her pictures.

She's been walking all around the campus and city close by. I felt myself tearing up when I looked at  the smile on her face in the pictures. They were happy tears though.

Their dorm room overlooks the city and I love what they did to their window!

That's right little girl, seize YOUR day! We window shopped after dinner and stopped by CVS to pick up a few things on the way back to her dorm. I'm not quite sure how we went from this...

to this ...

but it certainly doesn't feel like it's been almost two decades. Yes, I'm tired and yes I work too much but spending three hours with her and seeing her look so happy makes it all worth while. Massey asked me how I was holding up working seven days a week and told her I choose to think of it as being off from the restaurant three days a week and being off from the mattress store four days  week. She agreed that was a good way  to look at it. I dropped her off at the dorm and watched her walk in. I had to roll down my car window one more time before she walked back in the door to her new home and holler from the red light across the street "I love you!" She laughed and said she loved me too. It's the little things that make you happy.

I got home a little after dark and don't have to be at work again til Monday night. Our new mattress is like a dream! The old one was almost as old as Massey and as worn out as I feel  sometimes.

My old mattress sat level with our night stands and as you  can see we've bumped up  quite  few inches. Ziggy , who is part kangaroo can hop right up. Charlie, on the other hand will never see  the top of our bed again. He needed a stool to get up on the old one. Ham was a little more than surprised when he first came into  the bedroom after we got it set up. He's blind so he thought he was jumping onto the same old bed. His face hit  about half way up the first time. He made it on the second try though. He may be blind but he can still jump. When I am standing next to the bed the top of the mattress comes up to about my waist.

 I bought the couple who gave us the mattress and box springs a gift certificate for our restaurant and they actually came in to eat last night. It was for forty bucks and my boss Barb gave me a discount on it. So now we're sleeping on a $3000 mattress (when it was brand new a few years ago)  for $30. I think that's  pretty good deal! I didn't wait on them but stopped by several times to chat with them. I told them how much we loved our new mattress and what a difference it made.

The husband said he loved their new mattress but the wife said she didn't really like it. She said it was hard as a rock.  For Pete's sake, the huge label on  the end of the mattress said "Ultra Firm." I felt okay about it because I didn't hard sell them at all (no pun intended) and actually SHE was the one to pick out that specific mattress. He was looking at another one but she insisted on the ultra firm. I told her she should go buy a  pillow top or egg crate top for it. She sighed and said maybe it would break in soon. As I walked them to the door of the restaurant I hugged both of their necks and told them once again thanks for the mattress and box springs and that we absolutely loved  it.

The woman looked at me and said "Please quit saying that."  I think she was kidding...I hope she was kidding. It's hard to tell with old peeps. I told her if it didn't get more comfortable, sell it on Craig's List and buy another one. The mattress alone they bought retails for $2799 not to mention $200 for the box springs. They got the set for $1099. I told her to call me if she wanted me to help her sell it.

I think they will be fine. The man loves it and he's the one who paid for it. I know I'M happy with mine! I came home from work and stretched out on it for thirty minutes before heading to Atlanta.

Going to visit my Diddy's cousin, Frances tomorrow morning and cutting the back yard tomorrow afternoon before work. Frances was in  hospice but believe it or not the tough old bird isn't getting  any worse so they have moved her to the nursing home. My sister went by  to see her the other day when they moved her and Frances hollered (she's deaf) to the social worker "WHY'D THEY MOVE ME HERE?" The social worker told Frances that hospice was for patients  who are dying and she isn't getting worse. Frances, always the thinker hollered back "WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT ME HERE TO BEGIN WITH?" The social worker replied that they didn't have room for her at  first and Frances came right back with a loud "WE PASSED ABOUT SIX EMPTY ROOMS WHEN THEY BROUGHT ME IN HERE!"

My sister said the social worker didn't have an answer for  that one.

 Cindy said before she left she asked Frances if she needed anything and as usual Frances said no. Then my sister asked if maybe she would like a milk shake next time? Frances said that would be nice. My sister asked what flavor and Frances said it didn't matter. Cindy was getting ready to leave when Frances looked up and Hollered "DON'T GET CHOCOLATE."



Zach's going with me in the morning to see Franny, take her a strawberry milk shake and then treating me to lunch.

It's nice spending time with your kids especially when they don't mind hanging out with an old fart.

It's hard to believe my oldest is twenty seven and my youngest is eighteen. Time flies by  way too quickly my friends...as my daughter's dorm room window reminds us all, "Carpe Diem."

Til next  time...COTTON

Losing My "Bee-otch"

Zach's been putting in applications to no avail but finally got the call today. He's starting at Texas Roadhouse next week cooking in  the kitchen. Great for him...kinda a bummer for me.

He's the best free help I've ever had. He's by  far the best cleaner in the house, runs a mean vacuum and my kitchen is spotless when he gets through with it. He has fed the dogs every day and hunts down Ziggy when Houdini makes an escape. He cooks breakfast for me in the mornings and watches the pups while I am at work. He's earned money from odd jobs and has never once asked me for money since being unemployed.

His attitude has changed over the past year. He went from a surly miserable know it all who didn't get along with anyone to a young man who owned up to his mistakes, paid for them and came out a better and wiser young man.

He left today with his aunt from Sacramento who is here on business for  a seminar in Raleigh, North Carolina.  She's all into spiritual advising and healing arts. She does readings, gives lectures and is right up Zach's alley... a free spirit and open minded individual. It's not really my bag, but she makes a good living at it and loves her job.

This will be a good trip for Zach. My sister in law will take good care of him and I  think they will get along fabulously.

He was all pumped today when he got the job and even seemed excited about his trip with his aunt. They will be back on Monday and I'm glad Zach got to take a little "Va-Cay." He stayed home and worked when we went to St. Augustine for vacation in July.

My kids are all so diversely different it amazes me they are even related. What amazes me even more is the fact  they have finally grown up enough to appreciate and fiercely love each other. My kids are closer to each other now than they have ever been.

It warms my heart. No... it FILLS my heart, completely!

After all we have been through the past few years, after all  the help from  family,  friends and even strangers...having my kids genuinely love each other and become thick as thieves  with each  other is an amazing feeling  and well worth the price.

I think Dr. Seuss summed it up best...

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

Til next  time...a  Happy COTTON

Beating a Dead Horse (one of my better qualities)

So I worked a double shift today, have another tomorrow and yet another on Tuesday. This has me working every shift at  the restaurant from Saturday night until Wednesday lunch. On top of this...  Massey has been complaining about her throat for at least a week and I have kept saying what any other broke mom would..."It's just allergies."

Barb gave me an ink pen the other day at work that had a little pen light on one end (it's a pretty bright light) and I told her as soon as I took it home Massey would take it from me. The next day she brought me in another one to give Massey. I forgot to give Massey the pen until last night when I got home from work. It was late (very, very late) so I simply left it on her desk.

I got up this morning to open the store and as always left with no minutes to spare. Our garage door opener broke about three years ago and is so far down the list of things to fix it falls right behind my back surgery but in front of my need for an eye exam and glasses, which fall behind my need for a mammogram and pap smear ten years overdue only overshadowed by  the dentist which I haven't been to in thirty years.

 Yep...I'm good as long as I can talk one of the kids into hauling up that heavy garage door (which kills my back and bum shoulder) so I can simply get into my car and drive away from the chaos and go do it again.

Massey opened the garage door for me and had her new pen in her hand. Before I got into my car, she said "Look at this" and shined the pen into her mouth to highlight the ulcers on the back of her throat.

Dang it! She IS sick. I felt terrible.  When I got off from my lunch shift I took home some herbal tea from work and a lemon. I forced her to drink it, loading it down with honey. I got home at 3:26 and had to be back at work by four. After ten minutes of "Mommying" I got in my car and headed back to work. At least the fifty pound garage door was still open and she got to stay inside and rest. Tim had left for work a hour earlier and it was just her and the pups...at least I left her in "Good paws."

Went back to work and relieved my two co workers who were also working a double shift. One of the girl's is a doll that has come on board recently (compared to me.)

 When she first started she did what any good server would do  when starting at a place having such a huge and massive menu... fake it as best she could while trying to seem well informed. She was at a table one night and offered soup or salad to a table. They asked what the soups were and she said 'The cream of crab soup (an up -sell) is a bit more but VERY good." Then they asked about the Lobster Bisque (a HUGE up-sell) to which she remarked "It is VERY Very good."

That's all it took...once I heard about that I ran with it. I will hear her at a table trying to sell a bottle of wine and will remark from the next  table "That is a VERY, Very good wine." Or I will help her take food to her table and set the dish down in front of the customer and make the comment "You enjoy this, it is VERY, very good!"

The problem is my co worker unfortunately thinks I am "VERY" funny and as I comment about the "Very" fabulous dish or drink in front of them (which by  the way is) she always cracks up. I can hold a straight face... which she is totally incapable of.  I could go on for a VERY very long time about this, and  have...for months.

It's like when they hired a cook in the back of the house named "Darquan." Yes he was African American and I often wonder if there was some kind of play on words  naming him that? All I have to say is that's great but don't do it in the south...the deep south. Not everyone is as liberal as me.

So I beat a dead horse...my husband has reminded me of this for years. Obviously he has a VERY very good memory!

Taking my girl to the doctor tomorrow, actually my VERY very nice husband will. I am leaving the money  for him to take her to the Doc in the Box for fifty bucks and having the antibiotic filled for (hopefully) free at Publix or Kroger.

 I am VERY very tired and I am VERY very old but you you know what? I am VERY very much alive and VERY very able to get up in the morning and do it all again.

At least I laugh every day. At least I have a job I love and for some crazy reason my bosses love me. It makes battling back a heck of a lot easier.

My girl will get to the Doc in the Box tomorrow, thanks to my VERY very sweet hubby, I will work another double which will get me VERY very close to being back in the black and if not I have four more shifts to go to insure it.

I am a VERY very lucky person...and this said with NO sarcasm. I am a "LUCKY lucky woman."

My girl will get well tomorrow and I will keep on keeping on.

Til the next time..."A VERY very grateful COTTON"

It's Bad When Six Year Old's Beat You Down

Went into work at 4:30. I like this shift because I get extra tables before all the other servers get there for the dinner shift...today was no different, well maybe just a little.
I had a couple of tables going when I got a party of ten. Five fathers with their daughters having dinner before heading to a Father/Daughter dance. The Dad's got the party started early..."Cocktails!"

The girls had on makeup and eyeliner and fancy dresses. They ordered cocktails too. "A round of Shirley Temples please." The girls were all pumped up and the father's were catching up pretty quickly!  I got another couple of tables and had my hands full by the time the little Divas were ready to order. The girls were singing at the top of their little lungs "I have my hands in  the air...goin' OH OH." The other people in the room with them didn't seem to be having as much fun but the Dad's didn't seem to mind.

By  the time they were ready for their checks I was what we call in the industry "Balls to the wall." They wanted me to split the two appetizers five ways on five different checks and all of the sudden were in a hurry for me to do it. The girls had kicked it up a notch and were once again singing together with their arms all waving in unison and one Dad saying he needed one more drink. Heck..."I" needed a drink!

I had to give one of my other tables away because I was so frazzled with splitting the checks and appetizers, getting that last cocktail for the dad and making sure I had every  thing on the right check. It's the first  time I have ever had five little Diva's put me in the weeds. For you folks that have never been a server...being in the weeds is being so busy you  can't even see straight or catch up. It's truly just like running through really tall grass cutting through it with your arms flailing and hoping to see a clear patch up ahead.

I don't know who was happier when they finally left...me or the people who endured five little girls singing Nicki Minaj at  the top of their little lungs while they attempted to have a quiet dinner five feet from them. I was so flustered and in such a time warp. When you  get in the weeds, it's like real time stops. You  lose all concept of time and don't know if five minutes or half a hour have passed since you  checked on another table. I was sweating like Mel Gibson at The Apollo and felt all panicky. The dad's finally all paid and tromped out the door with their "Little Missie's" in tow. It took me thirty more minutes to settle back into the groove of things but I did.

Two hours later it was all over. The dad's had left me a fifty dollar tip so it was worth it in the long run...but it felt like a REALLY long run and one I was happy to be over.

Zach is still at work cleaning up and I have to go back and pick him up but I am proud of him for making it through his first week. It isn't easy working in the kitchen but he has hung in there and only cut his finger once. He suddenly has a new appreciation for what I do for a living.

Dreading working a double shift tomorrow but at least we close at  8:30 and I will in bed with the pups by 9:30. It's funny what makes you happy when you are over fifty.

Til next  time...COTTON

Hope Cupid is a Good Shot (to my bank account)

The weekend at work was awesome and people seemed to be throwing money at me and lucky for me I had my catchers mitt on! I took yesterday off for Tim's birthday and we switched my plans to include all of us here at  the house. (We needed it) We took him out to eat a little mom/pop southern cooking place that the kids and I discovered a couple of weeks ago. A meat and two sides for six bucks. They close at three on Sundays and we got there around two.

We sat down and a girl who I have never seen took our drink order and said the waitress would be right over. This is a totally non fancy no frills kind of place but the food is good and at least we were all eating together for the first time in MONTHS!

We immediately got into a family conversation (which we rarely do anymore) and attempted to try to figure out how we had lost the family balance and in fact any semblance of being a family. We were probably five minutes into to the conversation when someone came over and asked if we had ordered? They were immediately upset  they had dropped the ball and went to get us a waitress... but WE had,  in the time given solved about four issues...with fifty more to go.

A waitress that has waited on me and the kids before skittered over to the table...apologized about ten times and took our order. She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met but even Zach said "She's a little ditsy."

We ordered and continued our family debate. Tim seems to be disgusted with me (I can't blame him I have been a bitch since I imposed fifty hour work weeks on myself and for some stupid reason refused to take days off.)

The food was delivered to the table and looked pretty good. We all sat looking at it...none of us had a fork or knife. We sat there for about two minutes when a woman came over and said "I guess we didn't tell you this was eat with your hands day" and gave us all silverware. I love it...humor as an apology is the way I would always choose.

I said "Glad I didn't order the soup."

You know what? It didn't bother any of us. We laughed about it but enjoyed some really good baked hen and dressing, turnip greens, mashed potatoes, baby lima's and mac and cheese.

I work in a full service upscale restaurant but I am no better than the people that work in the little restaurant we took Tim to.

The food was good the service was hysterical and I will eat there again and again. I'm not a  food snob...I'm a person that supports the little people. There seems to be a lot more little people that need help in the world I am currently living in.

It's been a while since I have had a waitress wearing flip flops... at least she is working, smiling and trying...I'd rather tip her than a big corporate restaurant. Support your community, support the people you live with and it will help  support the lifestyle you moved there for. So what she wears flip flops? They serve a mean country fried steak and  she always hollers "Hello" to me when I walk in.

Zach is starting to work with me tomorrow. He is going to help bus tables and I have talked to Len about him beginning to work in the kitchen starting at the bottom. Zach has taken some knocks, many of his own  choosing but now has a great opportunity. Barb and Len saved me...and saved me good! Zach has always been interested in culinary arts and I have complete faith that this may be the thing to peak his interest or at least get him started.

So that cute boy in the above photo...by the way that is my fave pic of him is starting to work with me. What a great Valentine's Day present.

Til next time...COTTON

A Good Day...

I did a catering job for work today and Zach helped me. I didn't have to work until five and the restaurant had three different caterings this morning so I did one of them. We picked up the food at  the restaurant at 11AM and delivered it to a doctor's office right off the town square. By 11:45 we were back at the restaurant dropping off the catering bags...talk about easy money!!

I talk a lot about Massey, mainly because I am with her most all the time. Boys tend to shy away from going places with their Momma after the age of eleven. Today was the exception to the rule and I was pleasantly surprised.

Zach's had a tough time finding his way and it worries me constantly. I can never seem to remember the "Catch more flies with honey than vinegar rule" when it comes to talking to him. I have a sharp wit and even sharper tongue...what makes it worse is that we are so much alike (except that he is borderline genius yet refusing to use his God given talent.) I know it is God given because he sure didn't get the smart part from me!

He's made some really bad decisions in the past and not too many good ones but I still love him. He  just recently started to realize that maybe in fact he DOESN'T know every thing and may need some help and guidance.

It started with baby steps. After he totaled my car it was hard to hand him a set of keys even if it was to drive three doors down to the neighbor's. He worked a part time job for a while but has mostly been "My bitch" around the house. As much as I work that has been okay with me. He takes Massey to school when Tim has to go in early and picks her up when I have to work a late day shift. He vacuums a room with the best of them and has fixed many things around the house for me. He has cleaned my kitchen and mopped my floors. He walks the dogs every day and bathes them every two weeks. He's replaced shower heads, cleaned my garage and just finished totally rebuilding a computer some kid gave him.

We spent the entire day together and didn't have one fight or argument.

I was horrible when I was Zach's age. I didn't get into the trouble he has gotten into but I certainly wasn't a blessing to my Diddy. I partied away at college like nobody was having to pay for it, bounced checks my Diddy had to cover and gave him gray hair WAY before his time...but He still loved ME.

That's why they call them KIDS!
Webster's defines "kid" perfectly "The young of a similar animal."

Zach and I are just alike, only seperated by thirty two years. Unfortunately a lot of things change in three decades and in this society not much of it is for the better.

He has a great lead on a job and is going by to talk with them again tomorrow. I actually have enjoyed having him around and getting to know him again. He seems to be coming into himself and maturing.

I have three kids,  all totally different from each other. Raised by the same two parents yet all choosing different paths.

Sounds like somebody's looking for a short cut!

Take it from a fifty one year old...I've been looking for one for over half a century!

Til next time...COTTON

And to Think I Was Worried About the Teens of Today...

 I fell asleep in front of the TV the other day between shifts at work while watching some show on TLC. I woke up to the most bizarre show I have ever been witness to. I thought someone had added TPC (The Pedophile Channel) and I had rolled over on the remote and switched it to that channel.

 Low and behold I was watching Toddlers & Tiaras. I guess I've heard of it but watching it was totally mind boggling. At first glance I thought it was little girls with women's faces superimposed over their own. Nope!

I don't blame the kids...heck some of them aren't even old enough to write their name much less know right from wrong. On the other hand, What in the heck are these moms thinking??

In the span of one episode I learned  these moms take these girls for facials, adjustments at  the chiropractor, manicures and spray tans. I also learned every mom sounded like an idiot when they  talked to OR about their daughter. It was kinda like "Hee Haw does Hollywood."

One mom took her toddler to the local paint and body shop to get her daughter's spray tan. The goofball guy said "It's just like painting a car...that moves."

Then I learned what "Flippers" were. Stupid me thought they were what you wore on your feet to scuba dive. One of the girls was so excited when her idiot mom came in the house from the mailbox shouting "Yer Flipper's here!!" The little girl was jumping up and down as they ripped open a box containing toddler dentures. Then it shows the dentist who made them talking about the gap in  the little girl's teeth caused from sucking a pacifier for too long.

Now I'm all about getting rid of a pacifier but isn't replacing it with a set of uppers kind of an extreme way to make up for your obviously lacking parenting skills?

After one full episode I think my favorite part was the crowning ceremony. After standing behind the judges, yet directly in front of the entire crowd pantomiming their kid's entire routine while they were onstage performing (Mom always dressed in ratty jeans a tee shirt and hair from hell) it was time for the awards.
I learned quickly if you won the title of "Princess" you were in fact a loser and could pack up your kid's square dancing dress and go back to the trailer park.

Then they have a multitude of other "Loser Awards."

"Best Costume of Choice"
"Most Beautiful"
"Best Talent" (unless you're raising a prodigy there is no talent in a four year old other than not pooping in their pants or wetting the bed)

Then after giving awards to all  the other losers and shooing them off the stage they bring out the 'big guns.'

The title names are the best part. First you have a "Grand Supreme" in every age group. Then they have a "Mini Grand Supreme." (still not sure what that one was for but the kid WAS really short)

Then (drum roll please...)
Congratulations to number 34, you have won the "Ultimate Grand Supreme." Then they plop a crown  about five times too big onto the hair spray plastered bouffant hair of the little diva and give her a sash that won't stay up either since it was made to drape across boobs not baby fat.

The sad thing is,  these grown women are taking away their kid's ability to just "Be kids" and the kids are too young to even know it. The make up is "Play boyish" to say the least and  the outfits make square dancing oufits look chic. Granted I never had a toddler in a pageant but then again I never had $100,000 to spend on them just to bring home a trophy and a crown and sash that don't fit. So what they won a thousand dollars? Is it supposed to make you feel better that now you're only $99,000 in the hole?

I'll take my three kids just  the way they are. Living with rules, getting smacked when they need it and hugged when they have a bad day.

And by  the way..."Ultimate Grand Supreme?" I can think of three adjectives that would mean a heck of a lot more to a four or five year old in the long run. How about "Happy Carefree Innocent?" 

It was a disturbing but creepily entertaining show to watch and I assume that was the selling point  when pitched to the network.

I'm still happy with my three kids. They drive me crazy,  sometimes they drive and inspire me and sometimes they drive somewhere FOR me. Maybe I need to pitch a show "Teens & Tirades."

Today Zach won  "Grand Supreme" for fixing my broken door knob. Massey won "Ultimate Grand Supreme" for getting an "A" on her Spanish II test and I gave myself  "Mini Grand Supreme" for taking the day off!

Til next  time...(drum roll please)
COTTON

I LIKE THAT BOOM BOOM POW...

Massey's high school band has a Fireworks Tent to raise money for the Band and Guard.

These kids have a ball when they are together and what a great group of kids they are.

I cannot say enough positive things about this band program. The parent participation is what makes it all work so smoothly. I feel terrible that I have fallen so behind in MY volunteering, but keeping a roof over our heads has kind of taken up most of my time in the past six months.

The band is an eclectic and varied group. There are underclassmen upperclassmen skinny kids and big kids. Blacks Whites Latinos and Asians...even Native Americans. They are ALL Marching Indians and a group I am lucky to have my daughter be a part of.

I love having teen agers (hope my kids don't read this, it'll ruin my reputation as the "Bad Cop." )

They keep me feeling young, make me LOOK older and are definitely not helping me in the gray hair department...but I love having kids around my house and at least I always know where MY kids are!

My middle son rolled his eyes when he saw the title to this post, but it seemed to go along with the Fireworks theme and happens to be a very cool song by the Black Eyed Peas. At least at fifty I KNOW who the Black Eyed Peas are.

Thanks to Massey and her guard I even know who Ke$ha is....and who told this girl that a dollar sign was a letter? "Tick Tock" is her big song and Massey has beat it into my head so much that even I know the words now.

The lyrics aren't exactly VBS material, but I know they mean nothing more to Massey than a song with a good beat and something that the guard likes to do their little dance to. I can't really imagine any of the Guard brushing their teeth with a bottle of "Jack" or "Kicking a man to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger." Number one: Mick Jagger is ugly as sin and Number two: I don't have any Jack Daniels in my house...maybe a Charlie Daniels album (I always loved The Devil Went Down To Georgia.)

Songs are just songs and kids will be kids.

Massey is all into the band...Zach is all into Zach.

It's midnight...now officially the Fourth of July. That means Zach's buddies have just arrived to shoot off fireworks in our back yard. Guess I am the only Mom that relented or is stupid enough to let some eighteen year old boys build a fire in the fire pit and keep Mr. "Slow" Lee next door from sleeping. We'll see how far they get before my husband wakes up and chases them all off, turning me from "Bad Cop" to "Good Cop."

The fire pit just lit with the "Phooff" of gasoline they used to give it a rapid start and it looked like an Atom bomb going off.

"BOYS."

I have to remind myself..."I like that Boom Boom Pow."

The bottle rockets are going up, the fire pit is roaring and five eighteen year old boys are happy as pigs in poop.

It could be worse...they could be drinking or doing drugs. Instead they are working on getting me kicked out of the subdivision.

Then again...who would cut the entrance to the subdivision twice for a measly forty bucks a month...who would cut all the neighbor's yards that won't cut them on their own? And who would there be to talk to the cops when they arrive at my house in about fifteen minutes?

Okay, my husband just woke up...things should be getting interesting now. He came downstairs looking like Homer Simpson in his whitey tighties and said "I guess we were the only idiots that would let them into a back yard."

I told him pretty much he was right and at least the fire works seemed to running out.

"I Like That Boom Boom Pow."

Let's just hope the woods behind my house don't ignite, and hope that the one kid that looks thirty years old is driving the other num nuts home.

"Oh to be a Cotton...tis a great thing." Unless I get arrested.