Excuse Me..."My Age is Showing"

How did over half a century fly by in such a seemingly short period of time and why does it also seemed to have happened in the blink of an eye?

My childhood was wonderful. My teens were awesome until my Mother died. My twenties were a self inflicted blur of stupidity.

I look in the mirror today and suddenly see a fifty one year old woman that could easily pass for fifty nine. (I try not to look in the mirror a lot)

Like a dummy I dropped out of college...and they didn't encourage me NOT to, actually I think they sent me a Thank you note.

I somehow stumbled along and was almost grown up by the time I hit thirty.

Had kids and enjoyed being a "Mommy." My kid's are all almost grown (in THEIR minds) and still call me "Mommy" when they have royally screwed up or want something they know they don't really deserve but would LOVE to have!

I can't complain.

I COULD, but who COULDN'T?

My only gripe is that getting old seems to kinda suck. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to still be gasping for breath after working like a demon all day and sawing corns off my pinkie toes at the end of a night.

It makes me feel young to still have something as cute sounding as "Pinkie Toes!"

I just seem to "Creak" more and sometimes need a few more pushes on the ole "Primer Pump" before I can get cranked up for my day.

I cut the front of our subdivision for the first time this year.

It turned into a two day job.

I mean it's not like the entrance to "South Fork" on the show "Dallas" but it WHIPPED MY BUTT...and it's just April for Pete's sake!

I am getting lazy in my old age.

I couldn't find any sunglasses around the house so I weed eated without shades. Crap flew into my eyes non stop for over a hour. I looked Asian because I was squinting so much. Got it done though!

Didn't cut the weed eater line off shorter than the guard after running out of line (and time) and it flew off and popped me a good one on the chin. Dang...yard work is giving me battle scars now.

It takes away from the wrinkles on my face so at least it's a win/win situation.

Dang...that's kinda sad too!

I gotta get more money for this gig.

Can you imagine that scenario in July when it is over 100 degrees and my hot flashes are working overtime ..."Dang Meno-cause, not helping either!"

So now I am approaching being called "Senior" again. It seemed a lot more fun in high school... It was ALWAYS cool to be called a "Senior" then!

I think I'll just consider it all "The School of Life." I liked it so much I did it twice.

Til next time...knowing one day I'll be the one to have that really cool walker with a basket , horn , tassells and different colored tennis balls on each front leg and be the one EVERBODY talks about among the ones that can remember.

COTTON

As always, click on photos to enlarge (my flaws)

"Tired" is an Understatement

I had a half a day off today and it felt like a two week vacation. Last week I worked every shift the restaurant was open except two lunch shifts. By the end of last night I was a zombie.

I slept til noon and hopped on Johnny for a trip around the front of the subdivision. One of the officers from the HOA called me last week and left a voicemail asking if I was going to cut the front again this year.

I went up today and cut all I could on Johnny. The deep culverts on either side have to be done with my weed eater. I have bent two blades on my mower trying to cut down in them but there are so many exposed large rocks that it isn't worth it to me to tear up my mower on a yard that isn't mine. It takes me an hour to cut on my mower and another two to weed eat.

For this they pay me $20.00. Out of that twenty I spend five on gas. When we moved in the subdivision 14 years ago my oldest son, TJ cut it with a push mower for $20 and did a semi crappy job.

Now they have a 50 year old woman picking up all the trash every time she turns into the street...cutting it and weed eating it with not ONE stray weed left sticking up when I am through and still pay me $20.00.

I decided to do it this one time and then am sending the HOA a letter requesting $50 a month. I am going to plead my case in a positive way...

"I live five houses from the front of the entrance. I pick up trash any time I pull in or out. I spend at least three hours on cutting it and use my own mower and gas. I am doing it for the same price they paid my son 14 years ago. I keep it nice and neat which keeps our subdivision looking much more attractive to anyone that may ride through thinking of buying a house here. I truly do not think you can get anyone else to do the job I do maintaining the front for less than $50."

We'll see what happens.

We were slower than a snail at work tonight which made my two week vacation seem like three. I hated not making a lot of money but I needed the rest and the owner made us all dinner on the house! Free Range Chicken with a home made dipping sauce and yummy garlic mashed potatoes. I made a little bit of money but had a restful night and got my belly full.

I know why we were slow..."The weather."

In Georgia all you have to do is MENTION bad weather and the state shuts down and battens their hatches. In the Winter just mention "Snow or ice" and the store shelves are raped. In the Summer mention "Severe thunderstorms" and all the lawn furniture is put in the garage and the stores sell out of candles and flashlight batteries.

We're simple folk here in JawJa. It doesn't take much to rattle us. We listen more closely to the Meteorologists than to our Preachers!

When I was little my grandmother would call my Mother every time a weather alert was issued. It was like she thought we couldn't watch the TV ourselves and she needed to warn us of the impending doom we were obviously unaware of.

I'll have to say I got my Grandmother's "Weather Gene." I am a weather freak too. One year when a tornado ripped through our part of the county I had all three kids and the dogs stuffed in the laundry room with a flashlight and radio as I stood by the front door and watched mesmerized as the trees all blew sideways at a ninety degree angle. I just couldn't quit watching! Mother Nature never ceases to amaze me...She is a Mighty Beast.

Tim came home fom work that night and had to park his truck two miles away and walk home because of fallen trees and downed power lines.

A storm is rumbling in as I type. I hear the beeping of the weather channel from the TV in the den behind me.

The only thing that would freak us Georgians out even more is if there was news of a possible shortage of Rebel flags, Cammo jackets and chewing Tobacco.

I am proud to be a Georgian. I'm not a red neck (well maybe today, it was sunny while I was cutting grass) but I know what it means to be a type cast Georgian .

"I know ASS- rite!" could be the "Type Cast" State motto.

Of course there are lots of us that don't meet the "type cast" standard but if you took a poll, there are more of US than THEM.

I still like being ME and being a Georgian.

I may not be a Southern Belle, but when I am riding "Johnny" with the wind of cars whizzing by me not two feet away making my own subdivision look better...I feel like the "Belle of the South with a brand new Blade."

Am I really that sad of a person or do I just answer the question "What's Kelly Cotton all about?"

I don't think I'll ever move away from the South...who could they possibly ever get to replace me?

Til next time...COTTON

A GREAT Run...

It's been a good run. I've looked at dirty Guard feet. I have made countless new friends.

Have witnessed parents and friends all coming together for one common goal.

I have witnessed Massey growing into a young woman I am extremely proud of... making her own decisions and learning about commitment , dedication and how far that can take you in life.

I have made a lot of new friends and had the time of my life being around all these teens. They excelled in Drama...created a lot of it themselves but always came together when it mattered the most.

They support each other and have renewed my faith in the youth of today.

Massey is closer to some than others but they ALL stand together united as "ECHS Guards."

I cannot say enough good things about the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles , friends and supporters of this Guard.

I'll give you a gauge to go by...I was a slacker!

I got home from work tonight, tired and worn out. I found out the Guard season was finally over and it wasn't relief I felt...it was sadness. Not for the Guard , but for me.

I wouldn't be around all these kids , parents and excitement anymore.

The Guard is just what I needed at this point in my life.

A reason to smile and reason to "In-Joy."

It has been a reminder that when life gets tough...you have to be TOUGHER!

Just when you think you are alone...you need to look around you.

Extend your hand and it will be firmly grasped by the many that love you and they will pull you through.

It may sound crazy that a high school sport has become so important to me...but it has.

I have a wonderful immediate family but I also have an extended family...The Guard family.

It has been a great run. It has been a thrill.

It has been something that has drained me but has uplifted me ten times over!

Congrats to all these kids!

Thanks for letting me be a small part of your wonderful world.

There's always next year! (unless you are a Senior)

To the Seniors...Believe me, your life is just getting started but what a wonderful way to begin it!

Til next time....a Totally Sucked In "GUARD MOM."

Dog Sitting Duty Day Two...

On the way to my friend's house this morning before work to check on their dogs, and let a few more cats out the back door...I picked them up a possum and two raccoons off the bypass. I was looking for an armadillo (wouldn't it be cool to have a tiny dinosaur?) I figured the possum will take care of a couple of the cats and the raccoon can pass for one of the missing cats! I picked up a shift this morning from a fellow co worker last night on FB. She said "Do you want my 11AM shift?" To me that means I am supposed to be there at 11. I flew to my dog sitting house and helped the dogs hump over to crap faster...fed them, shooed them back outside and let them crap again , put them back in their kennels promising them I would spend more time with them after my lunch shift. I've never seen a dog give a "Yeah, RIGHT!" look before, but believe I got one from both pups as I shut their kennels. Got to work with five minutes to spare only to learn I was forty minutes early for my shift. "AARRGGHH!" I went across the street to throw a few bucks at Verizon so our cell phones wouldn't be cut off...that 's my connection to Massey while she is in Ohio and I can't let that happen. Went back to work and got off around 2:00. I went by the bank using the drive through making fake calls on my cell phone while I made my deposit. It makes me feel better when I am worried I am in the "Red." That way I'm not staring at the teller wondering if they are going to say "Your account has been closed." Then if they do, I can hold up one finger and say "I'm on the phone with Oprah...she's depositing some money in my account as we speak." I was in the "Black" with 14 bucks to spare! Went back to check on the pups I am sitting. There was a cat sitting out front that acted like it was supposed to go inside so I let it when I opened the door. Spent a few minutes letting the dogs enjoy some couch time and for the life of me couldn't figure out how to make their TV come on. The pups seemed as disappointed as me when I couldn't watch "GH." Let two cats out and one more back in...these people are going to kill me when they come back from Ohio with sixteen more animals living in their house than when they left. They all seem happy to be there, so who am I to question it? I didn't get off until after nine and went back to check on the pups. They can hear me before I even put the key in the lock. They are cute little dogs and have really taken a shine to me. I have decided that before the family gets back I will take a calculator and count all the animals I have been letting in and out, just in case they try to sue me! When I got home from work and my husband was leaving for work, he said to drop Charlie (our bulldog) off at their house tomorrow. "Just tell them he is a snub nosed fat cat you found scratching at their back door." So I'm not a great animal sitter this week. Normally I am. I have worked so many shifts this week I have lost count and still have five more to go. At least the dogs are okay. The cats...I think they are all still there. There may be a couple of new ones and I might have lost one or two of the old ones, but who's counting? (NOT ME) I have to be at work by 10:30 in the morning. Going by to take a quick head count before work and will take another before I go back for my dinner shift. This family USED to be Massey's best friend's parents. You may be reading about me on the news...Do you think the family will notice the two chipmunks I let in the back door? Or will they say "Hey, I found those hamsters with stripes we have been looking for!"

Dog Sitting...Day One

Dropped Massey off at the high school before 5AM this morning for her trip to World Championships in Dayton. Came back home and got a couple more hours of sleep and headed into work for the day shift. I am dog sitting for Massey's best friend on Guard. Her entire family went to Dayton and I am dog sitting for them while they are gone. This family has been wonderful to Massey so it's the absolute least I can do. I went by their house last night to pick up the key after I got off work. They have two small dogs (all dogs are small compared to my three galoots.) I forgot they had cats too. I am not a big cat person...I don't hate them but have never owned one. It bugs me how they seem to suddenly HAVE to be in another room in a split second. What do they know that I don't? And what about those razor sharp talons they have...they could kill you with those if they wanted to! They can hide in so many different places...you never even know they are there until they decide they have to suddenly scamper into another room for no apparent reason. The family took care of the dogs before they left this morning so I went by after my lunch shift to let them out. Their dogs are crate trained (wish mine were) and were in their little homes when I went in the front door. They were barking so ferociously I was almost scared to put my hand on the cage to open it. No worries...they were just happy to be let out. They scampered all over the house looking for their owners. It made me feel sorry for them. Once they determined they had been abandoned they turned to chasing the cats around. I stopped counting cats when I got to six. I hooked up the leash and took the dogs out back. They immediately did their "Do" and wandered around for five or ten minutes. When I went by last night for my instructions...I noticed the cats had a big automatic food bowl that dumped food in as needed. I gotta get my kids one of those! I made sure all the toilet lids were up in case the cats got thirsty and locked the dogs back in their houses. I sent the Mom a text and said "Dog Duty Day One...How many cats does one family need?" She replied back "I keep asking that myself. Me and the cats just don't get along and the girls take in any strays within a 50 mile radius." I sent her back a text: "There are six cats living by the dumpster at work. Want me to take them over to your house?" Quick reply "That would be a negative." You know me..I sent one right back "Would you really even notice six more?" Another quick response..."I think I would." Another zinger from me..."We'll see!" Quicker response "NOoooooooo" I was on fire now...sent back "Here, Kitty Kitty!" I locked up and left, still laughing at myself (I'm my biggest fan.) Went back to work for the dinner shift and got off around 9PM. I went back over to let the dogs out again and think I counted seven cats...including the mean one that stands guard outside their front door...I'd be mean too if they locked me out while an entire herd got to stay inside. While I was letting the dogs wander around out back I sent the Mom another text: "Just got off work. The six new cats get along great with the twelve you already had. I locked them all in your bedroom so they would have plenty of room to play." I didn't hear back from her so thought they must be on their way back to the airport to fly home and kill me! She finally sent me back a text saying " As long as they are on my husband's side of the bed, we're good." I am having a lot of fun with this "Dog Duty/ Cat Harassment gig." It takes my mind off the fact that I am not in Ohio with my girl. They perform for the first time tomorrow and with fingers crossed and prayers going up, wish them all the luck in the world! I think the day that everyone is due home I will swing by the family's house one last time and lock all the cats up in the dog cages and leave the dogs roaming round the place! "Dog Duty" update tomorrow! Til next time....COTTON

On the Road Again...Wish I was Going too!

How did this little girl with the massive curly hair and not a care in the world turn into a young lady with so many dreams and so much desire to succeed in what seemed like the blink of an eye?

Kids grow up so quickly...had I known I would have made her start smoking at an early age to stunt her growth!

This weekend is the culmination of her Guard season which has proved them to be stand out champions who make me feel honored to be a "Guard Mom Gone Broke."

They leave at 5AM for Ohio...World Championships. They are going in ranked 8th in the Nation. I hate it that I am not going, but on the flip side it gives me four days to work non stop double shifts and not have to worry about getting her to and from practice.

With this new age of technology I can keep up with her the entire trip via FB, cell phones and texting. It's like I am there with her...just floating along beside her in cyber space!

I have twelve shifts scheduled this week and thinking about cramming in one more. Days off are over rated and by the time she gets back I will have many bills paid and still know what she is doing and how the Guard is doing ...it's a win/win situation.

Her Aunts drove her air mattress up here tonight from Florida where she left it when she stayed with them after her Pensacola competition and flew home. We've even sucked THEM into this crazy Guard world!

It's a world I would have never known about if Massey hadn't filled in as a sub when she was still in middle school. Now she is ending her sophomore year and I am officially a "Guard Mom."

I worked tonight just to make enough to send her with money for food. I made my goal and even got her some snacks to take with her.

My cousin and her husband came into eat with me tonight (Thanks for the phat tip) and we had a good time chatting while they ate. I told them about waiting on a table the other night. It was a party of 8 and three of them were French (ARRGHH...in the waiting world.) Europeans are notoriously horrible tippers. In Europe, servers are paid wages and serving is considered a profession not to mention usually the tip is included in the bill. Here, we make $2.13 a hour and rely totally on tips. I saw this one coming over the back yard fence. I thought I had a pretty good chance...out of the 8 only three were French.

My heart dropped when one of the French women came out into the hallway and said in broken English "When the bill is to be paid, Pierre wants the bill."

I wanted to say "I don't WANT Pierre to pay the bill...isn't there someone named Billy or Pete or maybe Jim that wants to pick up the tab?"

Being the smart server I am I got the tab up as high as I could. Two bottles of wine, appetizers, dinner, dessert and espresso. When they declined my offer of dinner to take home in a box for the next day I dropped the check. $244.oo.

Ole Pierre left me a $21.oo tip! I am thinking about going back to calling French Fries "Freedom Fries."

Such is the life of a server.

You have to give excellent service 100% of the time and hope that at the end of your week it all works out to your advantage.

Tonight I banked (Thanks Cuz and hubby) and Massey has plenty of money to go to Ohio while I stay here and make more!

It may seem that this Guard is a frivolous way to spend my money but I see it differently. Massey is learning a life lesson early...dedication + hard work= success!

They head to Dayton, Ohio on Wednesday for a pretty good chance of bringing home a first place victory. I will be with her every mile of the trip, she will be on my mind every minute of every day. I will log onto FB every morning and follow them via the Internet.

While squeezing in my 12 shifts I am also watching another Guard's dogs because her entire family is going. Picked up their house key tonight and am thinking about taking my three dogs over to their house for the duration of the trip to Ohio. Dogs can bond too can't they?

As crazy as it sounds...I am sad the season is almost over. I have made so many good friends, and so many of them have taken Massey under their wing and done so very much for not only her but for my entire family.

When you have teens...especially in these times, it's all about keeping them busy, keeping them focused and keeping them reaching for higher goals.

The Guard has done just that...not only for Massey but for me as well.

I have included a video of their show this season...it is called "In-Joy" and that is what this past year with the Guard has been to me..."In-Joy"able.

Whatever happens, I am proud of these kids and they should be proud of themselves!

"In-Joy" the video...

Til next time...COTTON

Almost Felt Like MY Birthday

Yesterday was Barb's birthday...my boss and the owner of the wonderful restaurant I work for. Her husband "Thinks" he is the boss but we all know better (I think deep down he knows too.) She took a much deserved two days off and flew home to Maryland to spend time with her oldest son. Barb has three sons...the oldest two are from a previous marriage but Len has been their step dad since they were little boys. Much like me with TJ...I have been his step mom since he was four and have known and loved him him longer than I have either one of my other two kids..."Blood is just a relative term" (pun intended.) My husband made the comment the other day how Barb and Len are living the American Dream, and they really are. They work long hard hours day after day after day. The reward is they own their own business , are their own boss and don't have anyone telling them how to do things or breathe down their neck from a corporate office. Barb is a piece of work herself. She can pinch a penny until it screams. She watches every dime and nickel coming in and going out of that restaurant (I think that may be why Len loves her so much.) When you first start working there she'll let you make yourself a drink in one of the Styrofoam 'to go' cups. After that shift you have to bring your own cup in to drink out of while you work or give her a quarter for another Styrofoam cup..."They don't grow on trees" she'll say. She recycles everything in the place...even the scraps. She has a bucket by the dish pit she makes everyone put leftover food in. She takes the left over bread home to feed birds in her back yard. The seafood left overs are for her cat and the strays that have heard about her through the "CatVine." Her house backs up to woods and she feeds the deer and foxes the meat scraps. She says "Mr. Squirrel especially loves french fries." I was out of my mind busy at lunch last week when I dashed into the dish area to dump my dishes and didn't put anything in her bucket. She snatched the last dish from my hand and sternly said "You're going to HAVE to do a better job of remembering my little animal friends!" (I am NOT making this up) She was gone for two days and no one set up her bucket or saved any scraps at all. We all laughed to Len the second day that he would probably go to sleep and hear the animals pounding at his back door demanding their dinner...or get on his Triumph in the morning to come to work and be attacked like Tippy Hedron in "The Birds." She saves the coffee grounds and tea grounds for her garden. Len says she is a borderline "Hoarder." We all agreed at work today. If you need something and ask Barb if she knows where you can find one ...it can be the most random item in the world, she will say "I have four of them, I'll bring them in and you can choose one." This morning when I went into work there was a man at the front door (we weren't even open yet.) Len started flipping ..."There's someone at the front door and no one to let him in. Come on, Let's GO!" Len would let people in at 8:00 in the morning if they were there to buy something. (that's why Barb loves HIM.) It was a delivery man from the florist. He brought in a huge bouquet of flowers and placed them on the bar. It had a card for Barb on it, Len came pouncing out of the kitchen to see if we had turned away a customer and saw the flowers. He read the card...it said "Happy Birthday from your first born." Len took a pen and drew a line through "First born" and wrote "Second husband." He even went the extra mile and got Barb the perfect present! He was in the office and showed me her present... a birthday card. He hadn't written anything on the envelope and said he didn't write anything or sign it on the inside. He just put a lottery ticket in it. She could hit it big...and if she didn't, had a card that she could recycle and use for someone else! Dang, I love this dysfunctional and absolutely wonderful family that I work for! Went back into work tonight and banked off of two tables. One was a family of six there to celebrate a birthday as well. They loved my "Performance" and gave me a $45 tip. A couple that read my blog came in to eat with me as well. I told them "If you mention my blog you get a free app or a free dessert." They went with the appetizer. Len was on the line cooking when I said "Two of my blog readers are here, it's their first time." Len said "Ask them what took so long?" I decided to buy them a dessert but Len took that off the bill as well. Seems like Len knows about Karma too! They spoiled me rotten with a 100% tip. Now I can pay on Massey's Guard dues again and sock away some for the house note. My husband is still stressing...Let 'em (makes him help me out around the house more.) I KNOW that all will be okay. I have a great job that I love. He has a job he hates but a job that can eventually turn into one WORTH hating...sucks to be him.(Thanks baby) At least I married a man willing to do anything for his family. He's just happy to be working. He may not be happy doing it but is happy that he once again has the chance to hate a JOB! This past weekend we celebrated my Aunt's 80th birthday as well at Mama Lucia's. All the female cousins met to eat ... talk about old times, current times and relive our childhood memories over a bottle of wonderful red wine Barb picked out. Len made an awesome cannoli cake and it reminded me once again how lucky I am to come from such a wonderful family. Today reminded me that family extends way past blood lines. I am lucky. I am lucky to be saying that I am lucky! I am lucky to still be here. I am lucky family, friends and strangers love me. I am lucky that I am almost to the point of being able to BEGIN paying people back. I am lucky they have all waited patiently for that to happen. I AM LUCKY.....no, I AM BLESSED! Til next time........COTTON!

How Old AM I ? It's Starting to Scare Me

Tonight at work Barbara (the owner) was talking to our young bartender and I happened to walk by. She asked if I remembered Green Stamps and I immediately asked "S&H Green Stamps"? Barbara told Anna, the bartender "Back in the olden days we had Green Stamps." I told Barbara it wasn't the "Olden Days...it was my CHILDHOOD!" The bartender asked "Was it kind of like reward points?" JEEZ..I AM getting OLD!

When I was a kid S&H Green Stamps were a big, big deal. They gave them away with purchases at the A&P grocery store my Mother shopped at and my grandmother saved them for us as well. Actually my grandmother even saved us her Raleigh cigarette stamps too. I'm not sure if we ever got anything with the "Smokes Stamps" but she sure saved us a lot of them!

S&H was where I used to get all my Christmas presents. There was actually a redemption store on Sylvan Road we used to frequent.

My grandfather smoked King Edward cigars and gave us his empty boxes to save our S&H Green Stamps in.

Of course this was back when my Mother would drive me to the store and at the age of six send me inside the store to purchase her a carton of Kool Milds.

It bothered me that Barbara called it "The Olden Days."

Then I realized that to kids in their early twenties...those WERE the olden days! I guess being over fifty makes me an antique!

I picked Massey up from school today and told her Elizabeth Taylor died. Massey said "Who's that"? I told her it was the actress from Giant and Cleopatra to which she replied "Never seen emt".

Guess what movies I am renting for us to watch when she gets home from competition this weekend?

When I was a kid you went to the gas station and never even got out of the car. They would clean your windshield and some even vacuum out your car while the gas was pumping . They checked under your hood and if you were at a Gulf station gave you free dishes with a fill up. I still have some of the white octagon shaped plates and bowls that my Mother got filling up our fake wood paneled station wagon.

Some laundry detergents even had dishes inside or a dish towel attached to the side of the box...Barb reminded me of that one!

Seems like we got a LOT more for a lot LESS when I was a kid.

Massey leaves for Nashville tomorrow for a Guard competition. She has her ipod packed along with her cell phone and both chargers.

When I was a kid I had a string with a can on each end that ran from my bedroom window to the window of my friend that lived next door.

I am not kidding!

Of course we could have just hollered to each other but it was so cool to have our own little system of communication.

Cans on a string and a transistor radio were all you needed to stay in touch with the world when I was a kid.

Guess I AM getting old!

How much string would it take from Newnan to Nashville and how big would the cans have to be ?

Guess it's a good thing I paid the cell phone bill.

Kids are so spoiled these days. When I was a kid we thought you were spoiled if your house had a push button phone instead of rotary dial (which WE didn't until the seventies) or if your car had seat belts...which we didn't have either, but survived. When we got a car with air conditioning I thought we must be millionaires or at least really rich.

I grew up in a blue collar family.

I grew up in a house filled with love, laughter and clothes all sewn by my Mother. Thank God she was an excellent seamstress... she could sew clothes that looked just like they had come off the rack at "Lerner's" .

What scares me even more is what the FUTURE holds and how much THAT is going to cost!

Til next time..."Cave Woman Cotton"

The Best Worst Day of My Life

Today is the one year anniversary of me starting at the restaurant. It was the best worst day of my life. I was so deeply depressed after being fired from a job I had been at for over 13 years and was totally ashamed to even HAVE to seek employment. I wallowed in pity for a week , hoping my old place would call me back to work.



It didn't happen so I sucked in my pride and went to Mama Lucia's to talk to Barb about being hired. When I walked into the restaurant she said "I was looking for you last week." I told her I was looking for myself last week too.



That conversation was the beginning of the greatest thing to ever happen to me. My old restaurant was good to me for many years but when we fell on hard times and needed understanding and support... they turned a deaf corporate ear and kicked me out.



At the time I thought it was the worst thing to ever happen to me. I now know it was a blessing in disguise.



It has shown me what a blessing it is to be loved and cared about...loved and cared about by family, friends, employers and even strangers.



We were totally carried over the raging waters of the abyss and plopped on the other side.



The gratitude we have for all the love and generosity can never be fully repaid but will be forever remembered and continually paid forward.

We are still struggling for air but breathing easier every month. It's been a tremendous strain on my marriage but the fact that I am STILL married says a lot about our commitment to each other and to this marriage.

My brother and sister became my Father and Mother. Friends turned into sisters and brothers. Strangers turned into wonderful friends. My new employers became my champions...urging me on and helping me every step of the way.

The owner's are a family that I admire tremendously. They are living the American dream. They own their own business. It takes sweat, working long hours and endless dedication, but it is THEIRS.

They have welcomed me into their restaurant family and helped me out time and time again...LITERALLY.

I came into their company a broken person with no self confidence left. They have let me believe in myself again and have always believed in me.

The Guard Massey is on has been my "Perk."

Defined ... "To make or become cheerful or lively."

Crazy ...but being a part of HER Guard world has given me much satisfaction in MY world and they have all welcomed me knowing I owe money (Who don't I owe?) but as long as I contribute my limited time treat me as an equal.

I actually paid the Guard some money last night and it felt GREAT!

Being with them is my "Happy Time."

Tim is slowly moving up in his company...I am in a great place, we are destined to make a come back!

Today is the anniversary of "The Greatest Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Me."

I call that a "WIN."

I try to not be bitter about my last employer...but am.

As I ponder and think about all that has happened and all the good things that have occurred since my life spiraled out of control a year ago...I feel like sending my old company a Thank You note.

"Dear corporate...YOUR LOSS."

Til next time...Contented Cotton

Super Moon, Super Weekend...Super Tired !

Just walked in the door from work . Went outside and took this picture of the "Super Moon."

What a weekend! Massey had to be at the school yesterday morning by 8AM for her big home competition. I worked ten shifts this past week so I could take all day Saturday and half a day Sunday off to finally be a "Guard Mom."

Not sure I did that great of a job but I sure had a great time trying!

I went by the restaurant and picked up 3 huge pans of baked Ziti and headed to the school. We hosted a competition for almost 40 Guards ...felt like 400.

Massey felt horrible with allergy problems and I assured her she only had to feel good for 4 minutes and 52 seconds, the length of their performance. Sweet "Nurse Becky" pumped her with Motrin and I went to help the other parents.

By noon it was Summertime and I was helping the "Fry Guy" outside of the gym with his six vats of propane heated 450 degree "Cardio-Oil."

That funnel cake fame will be the death of me!

I had worn blue jeans and felt like I was melting in the already 80 degree heat. I told Chris, who has his degree in "Fryology" and a couple of others that I would have worn shorts had I shaved my legs in the last six months, but it helped hold my thermal socks up during this brutal past winter. Between my hot flashes , outside temp and bubbling grease vats I said "Excuse me...I'll be right back" and screamed back to the house . Shaved my legs in two minutes and was back at the school in under 25 minutes wearing much needed shorts.

I cannot say enough nice things about the parents, aunts, uncles, grand parents and friends of this Guard family. Students that aren't even on the Guard come out and help. We all have one thing in common...We Love This Guard!

Tried to earn my "Guard Wings" this weekend...I think I left Sunday afternoon with a half of one wing so at least I can fly in a really small circle ... "A bird can't fly on one wing" but it can flap around a lot and make a Lot of noise.

That's Me!

If I had to describe my job definition this weekend it would be "Floating Go-Fer/ Suckered Chaperone."

I flitted around on my little half wing from concessions to hospitality room to fryers to sitting in the upper bleachers telling idiots to sit down during performances so the judges could see and critique the Guards.

Our JV performed and came in first...Varsity performed and came in second. Massey was upset she had a drop...Guards always are.

No one likes to drop but sometimes it just happens .

Our family suffered a HUGE drop a while back and Tim and I didn't like it one bit either. Sometimes a drop makes you realize how you take "not dropping" for granted and need to be prepared to try even harder when you do . Keep on giving it your all...and odds are you will succeed.

The competition ended around 9:00 and the second phase of my job responsibilities started.

Talk about a "Drop!"

I was the overnight chaperone for our Guard and we were all sleeping on the luxurious floor of the band room. Nothing says relaxation more after a long day than sleeping with 20 teens, a Wii Dance and other Guards staying close enough by to drop in.
I started off with two missing...found them and four hours later wished I was missing a heck of a lot more of them. (Totally kidding..."Kinda")
Cut the dance party off around 1Am. I am a night owl anyway so it didn't bother me.
What bothered me was when I tried to turn the lights off...they wouldn't turn off.
I wondered why earlier all the Guard that wanted to sleep dragged air mattresses into closets, the music library, the brass room, the Guard room ANY room but the band room.
One of Massey's BFF's had her mattress right next to mine and when she went to sleep had two blankets. One she wrapped totally around her head and eyes like she was being led to a guillotine or firing squad and the other she covered up with. I was thinking what kind of condition she could have to need to sleep that way when I discovered it was she was "Smarter than the average Bear."
I told the kids to turn the lights off and they replied "They ARE ."
WHAT??
Every other light or so was on. "SECURITY LIGHTS"
I tried every light switch..I tried every wall..I tried every THING. My air mattress was directly under one of the florescent lights. I felt like I was trying to go to sleep under interrogation. I finally took a tank top and tied it around my head and eyes.
My legs cramp sometimes ...heck, I'm almost fifty one and am falling apart all over the place. I finally drifted off after 2AM but was awakened hearing what sounded like a bunch of AFLAC ducks having a get together. It wasn't in the band room but close by enough to keep my blindfolded old woman self awake.
I finally decided it was the Guard next door and went in the hall to go to their room and give them a small piece of my small mind.
I opened the door to the hall and there sat two of OUR Guards with three of the Guards from the next classroom all sitting around yakking it up and keeping my old self awake.
I flipped. I took the tank top off my face and shouted "GET OUT OF THE HALL AND GO TO BED...We're trying to get some sleep here!" I guess I just meant me, because the rest of the Guard was sawing logs like no body's business...maybe That's what really woke me!
I went back to my mattress and tied back on my "Hanging Mask." They all skittered back to their respective rooms and I finally fell asleep.
At least we all survived .
We woke up Sunday and started it all over again. I went home and showered and went back for round three.
I flitted around again on a half a wing and helped out where they needed me.
My oldest son drove down to see Massey perform and didn't know what to expect. He has never seen a Guard competition. After they performed he said "That actually gave me chills."
Yes...they are THAT good.

Massey's Guard won first place!

It's a different world, this Guard world. I have missed a lot of it but this weekend gave it my best shot at "Being a Guard Mom."
Massey's Guard...ECHS Guard and the entire Guard family give me relief and satisfaction when I am with them. They make me laugh and I think I make them laugh. It is a win/win situation for me and definitely for Massey.

Next week is Nashville. I would kill to go but unless I hit the lottery it will have to wait til next year.

They give me motivation. Not just the Guard but the entire Guard family. They have helped my girl time after time, which has helped ME time after time.

My new motto is "GET IT !"

What a great lesson to learn...success and moving forward in life isn't going to come knocking at your door... you have to "GET IT."

So I'm a sucker as a chaperone...but now I "GET IT."

Better late than never...

Til next time "Gettin' it" COTTON

I Hope the "Sleepover" Involves Some Sleep

I'm not sure what I have gotten myself into...

Of course that is what I have said to myself on a daily basis for the past year and so far I have made it!

I crammed ten shifts into six days and have a day and a half off for Massey's home competition at her high school. I bullied my boss into donating his wonderful baked Ziti for the hospitality room. That's where all the Guard coaches sit around and get fat eating tons of food and cramming down brownies like it's their last meal on death row the day of execution.

I got off from my lunch shift in time to pick Massey up, go by and pay on Tim's car in the shop, buy her a Happy Meal and dump her off back at the school to help set up for the big competition this weekend. Stopped by my house (that looks like a commercial for DFACS removing children from an unfit home) and sat on my couch for ten minutes with my head back and eyes closed...it was the sweetest ten minutes of my life.

Screamed back to work in my "Next door husband's son's car" he graciously loaned me for the weekend and started my tenth shift. I am not sure if I still have feet on the end of my toothpick legs but managed to make it through another shift.

Screamed back to the high school in my loaned ride after my eleven hour shift (or maybe it was ME screaming) and picked Massey up.

I am not only working the competition tomorrow and Sunday but chaperoning the Guard while they spend the night on the luxurious floor of a classroom at the school.

I've always wanted to be a chaperone...well looks like I got my wish!

I've worked over a month straight with two days off and both days were spent at competitions...not really days off.

I have been SO sucked into this Guard world and crazy as it sounds almost look forward to being the chaperone.

We'll start out with Benadryl cocktails and work our way through "Truth or Dare."

Being with teens is invigorating and frustrating but always motivating. These kids have worked their butts off and are all "Champs" in my book. I am sure they will knock it out of the park this weekend and feel lucky that I will finally be there to see and experience it all.

For once I will be the one sending the texts. For once I will be the Mom that is there. For once I will be the Mom they hug first.

It will be my first sleep over in over forty years. Not expecting to get much sleep but excited to be an actual part of the Guard.

Finally earning that "Guard Mom" shirt I never bought.

I think earning it is more important than owning it!

Massey said I need to bring big marsh mellows...I think I need to bring a big pillow to put over my head.

This should be interesting and if nothing else...a GREAT blog!

Til next time...COTTON/Guard Mom (has a nice ring to it)

Excuse Me...My Age is Showing...

I haven't been on a plane or into the airport in over 18 years.

Jeez, times have changed. Massey flew into Hartsfield tonight after her Aunts that spoil her even" rottener" than I do put her in a first class seat and sent her home to me.

I left with plenty of time (I thought.) Her flight landed at 9:23. I left the house as soon as she sent me a text saying she had boarded.

I have a huge, so far unidentified oil leak in my car and currently put more oil in my car than gas. I stopped by Auto zone on the way home from work and dumped a quart in. Got home and added 2 more. Left for the airport and decided to pick up one more quart (just in case.)

I drive with the radio off so I can hear if my engine makes any funny noises or screams "Mommy...STOP!"

Fixing it is on my list of things to do but as long as I keep dumping oil in it and keep plenty of cat litter to sop up the "BP oil disaster on my garage floor" and drive with my fingers crossed I feel okay.

Made it to the airport with thirty minutes to spare. Found a parking spot close to the terminal and was amazed at how much the airport had grown since 1992.

I was bounced from one kiosk to the next. Finally I looked for the friendliest looking person wearing the right uniform and said "My daughter's plane just landed and I have no idea where to go."

I entered the security check point and realized why Massey's Aunt had said "Just don't bring your guns or knives."

I thought she was being funny but when I tried to walk through they instructed me to take off my belt, my jacket, shoes and empty all my pockets. Thank the Lord I left all my Crack at the house on the kitchen table next to my UZI and grenades (I like to call them centerpieces.)

I was devastated when they mentioned shoes.

When I got up this morning...day fifteen of my work week I pulled on the first pair of socks I found. They didn't match, except for the hole in both big toes.

Thank God the man in front of me was busy with his three full plastic tubs of crap to be scanned and the woman behind me was Asian and spoke no English at all.

I pulled my socks forward and tucked them under my toes .

Now I know why my Mother always said to wear clean underwear in case you were in an accident.

By this time Massey was texting she had landed and pulled up to the gate. I text her back..."Stay there."

I am a very paranoid Mom...that is what makes me a good Mom!

I could not imagine letting her go from concourse C to baggage claim alone...and her Aunt's told her just the same. "Wait for your Mom."

I have no desire to end up on Nancy Grace having her helmet non moving hair begging someone to bring my kid back.

The train stopped moving for a good five minutes and I was only at concourse B. I waited as others got off..they must have known a quicker route but I didn't.

As the train finally started again I got another text. I told her I was minutes away and NOT TO MOVE.

I half ran down concourse C looking for gate C-39.

I was at gate 35 when I spotted that bright purple ECHS letterman jacket with a cell phone stuck to her ear.

It was almost a Hallmark moment.

It's only been 3 days but when you are as close as Massey and I are...it is a reunion.

The hug she gave me made me forget that an unknown man and an Asian woman had both seen that I not only had holes in both my socks but hadn't painted my toe nails either.

"Screw them" My girl is home!

So I don't fly much... Sue me.

At least I can find my girl in the busiest airport in the world.

She missed school today, but she missed Hawaii with the band this past summer. We'll call it even.

A great quote I read...

"We are all fixing what is broken. It is the task of a lifetime. We'll leave much unfinished for the next generation."

Massey is home.

Let's just start from there.

She had an incredible weekend with the Guard and her Aunts standing in for me... and survived all my paranoia.

I have said before..."If Life gets to be too much, maybe you aren't looking hard enough for the good parts."

That girl, my girl, from gates away made my heart sing.

They tend to kill us...all kids do.

I wish I could go back and give both my parents a GOLD medal...I am just working my way up to the Bronze status.

Going to buy new socks tomorrow...COTTON

FIRST PLACE !!!

Went into work tonight a little down.










Massey's guard was competing at regional in Florida and I was competing in my 14th day in a row at work.

I've been sucked into this world of hers and have found my youth again.





It happened at just the right time in my life.

I have had a year, to remember to try to forget!

Not really...I had a year that God, family friends and strangers will make me remember to never forget.

All thrown in the mix was this silly Color Guard...so I thought.

Practices are often and often long! Besides the dues there is always something...tights, shoes wind suits and Geisha make up.

Their last show that I worked was inspiring. They didn't come in first but in my opinion put on a first place show.

This weekend she had a regional in Florida that I couldn't attend. Crazy as I already am, I was crazy sick that I couldn't go.

Two dear relatives drove almost two hours to stand in for me....sit for me...hang around for me and be there for me when they won FIRST PLACE! They were there to hug Massey's neck and they were there for ME.

They were there to witness what I have...the hardest working bunch of teens pushed beyond what they feel are ridiculous limits and then "BAM"... rewarded with the satisfying feeling of victory and success.

Does it sound even crazier that a fifty year old woman is a nervous wreck all night at work waiting to hear how a "Guard" did?

Guess what?

Call me crazy but call ECHS Winter Guard record setting first place winners!!

It's all good...it really is.

When the bad seems to take over your life...it just means you aren't looking hard enough for the good.

Call me "Guard Mom Gone Broke" It's better than "Guard Mom Gives Up."

Sure makes that double shift tomorrow easier to take when you know how happy your kid is and how incredibly happy it makes you feel to know they are tickled pink!

So proud I could pop.

So tired I am pooped.

Working just six more days and I am spending my day off with the "Guard." Ironic, but I am looking forward to it.

Kids grow up in the blink of an eye. I'm gonna "In-Joy" my blink!

With a Lump in My Throat ... Off She Goes

It's been a long week. I can't even remember my last day off.







The thing about being a server is that if you don't work you don't get a paycheck. We are so close to turning the corner. Granted I feel like we are turning the corner in a 1965 Ford Galaxy station wagon with bald tires in dire need of a tune up...but we are creeping forward and I am grateful...especially for everyone that has thrown us some love into the back of it , helped push when it conked out totally and jumped us off to continue on our road to recovery.

Love is a mighty, mighty tool and the most important one in my toolbox.

Massey has her first big competition out of state this weekend. I picked up a shift yesterday for a girl and picked up tonight for another server...scraping together the money to send her on her way with everything she needed. Her air mattress (of course) had a hole in it. Note to self...never leave it inflated around three big dogs...it looks like a HUGE dog bed to them and is NOT "Claws Friendly."

Of course if I had thought of it earlier I could have borrowed one...but she needs one anyway, they sleep in high school classrooms on these road trips and I worked for the school system for seven years..."Ya don't want your kid sleeping on the floor of a public school without at LEAST a ten inch buffer."

Then of course she needed foundation and liquid black eye liner for their "Geisha" type makeup routine....at least it looks like that to me.

I'll have to hand it to "Lil' General"...it does make their eyes "pop" from a distance and all look uniformly pretty.

It's a strange world, this "Guard World."

I never even knew it existed until 3 years ago and have been totally entranced by it.

I think I like it more than Massey does sometimes.

That's because it gets tough.


It gets tense, sometimes dramatic and often overwhelming; but when you stick with it and give it your all, can also be tremendously rewarding and a rush... from having successfully done your best .

What greater lesson can you teach your kid than what life will be like and how to live it?
Come to think of it...they should probably DOUBLE the dues.
What these kids are learning is priceless.

Life isn't always roses but if you can put up with the thorns it sure smells pretty.

I can't go with her this weekend and after my bonding experience at the competition I worked, had a lump in my throat tonight as I helped the prop guys load the last of the sliding boards into the trailer for the trip to Pensacola. ARRGGHH....

I haven't really felt a true part of the guard until this past year.

Summer band camp started it, and sucked me in from the jump on a sweltering summer afternoon surrounded by 120 degree asphalt.

Yeah I still owe them a ton of money, but have helped raise some and volunteered every time I possibly could.

When my Ford Galaxy pulls into the station of success...and I KNOW it will, they will get every penny and then some.

I'm not even charging them an entertainment fee when I DO work with them!! (that even made ME chuckle.)

I used to worry that this Guard thing was an unnecessary expense.

Since working with these teens and especially working with dedicated parents and volunteers, it has taught me once again what life is all about.

There are no guarantees. Sometimes you feel like you can't hang on but if you DO, may often feel like you never want to let go.

She leaves without me tomorrow...I am sad.





I love my girl (my little Money Pit.)







I love all these folks I have met and friends I have made while doing "The Guard Experiment."

They all seem to like me (Tim's all flustered about THAT one and encourages me to hang out with them as much as possible :)

When I left the school tonight and hugged a couple of the prop guys that put up with my lame help , I got a huge lump in my throat.

It wasn't the throw up feeling I felt when under the gun at the last show or feeling like a complete nervous wreck trying to help.

It was knowing I wouldn't be going with them and experiencing that whole feeling over again.

I WANT to be a part of this team and have "In-Joyed" them letting me be a sub.

Next year I'll take my act on the road WITH them!!
Tim will probably pay THEM dues to just take me with them.

I don't have to work til late tomorrow so I'll go to the high school to see them all off. I already told one guy tonight to stuff me in the glove compartment and take me with them.

It's hard seeing your child leave on a trip or adventure without you. They take a little piece of your heart with them when they are out of your touch and sight.

She'll be surrounded by friends and parents that love her. She'll be fine.
It's me I'm worried about.

I'm playing the lottery after work tomorrow night. If I hit...there will be a private plane to bring all of them back on Sunday...slides, swings and even Teddy!

It's hard not going with her but great to know I can send her.

CATCH 22.

At least I can work like a busy beaver this weekend and not have to worry... I'll be there NEXT year.
Tim will probably even petition for them to schedule MORE out of state competitions....even further away. God bless him, it ain't easy being married to me.

Good Luck Massey...Good Luck ECHS...

Til Next Time...COTTON

Country Living At Its Finest...Seriously?

I spent the day selling and picking up ads for Massey's Winter guard program for the big competition at the high school this month. This is a huge fundraiser and a chance for us to make some much needed money to fund a program that has been left out of the county budget.

I have a personal obligation to do my part especially with all the kindness and latitude the Guard has shown our family. They have been there with Massey when I couldn't. They have hugged and kissed her when she was down and I was at work. They have picked her up for practice and brought her home again when I was at work. It is a TRUE family we are blessed to be part of and I like to think I do my part when I can.

This is something that I CAN do and don't mind at all.

I put my PHD in BS to use and get sponsors for this event and have been pretty successful.

My bosses bought an ad, a dear friend from high school bought one even my favorite mechanic bought one. I sold one to a Mother/Daughter team that owns a hair salon...it helped that the daughter is engaged to the son of the owner of the restaurant I work for and her Mom knew my cousin who recently passed away.

Gotta work those connections when you have them!

Last night at work I had a table that I knew from my Western Sizzler days...their family owns a local gardening nursery and after two bottles of Malbec they happily agreed to buy an ad as well. They would have done it anyway...they are wonderful people. They told me to come by any of their three locations the next day and pick up a check.

The location nearest to me is off a rural highway that leads to the interstate. It's a road you take if you are headed to the County Fair or Destin...otherwise I never travel that road.

I picked Massey up from school and told her we needed to go pick up an ad . We cruised down the county highway. It goes from rural to PO Dunk in no time. The only thing on this stretch of road is a gas station that is completely filled with Latinos every morning looking for day labor and a couple of rental places, face lifted by the recent addition of a Dollar General.

We were cruising down the road when we passed a small house...not really a house but a small trailer (wheels still attached) with a front yard the size of a large chicken coop. They had a chain link fence around the front yard with two dog kennels sitting in it.

Number one this yard was TOO small for two dogs much less for what we witnessed. As we passed by Massey said "Did you see that horse in that tiny front yard?"

I almost wrecked the car...in a front yard the size of a hen house stood a horse surrounded by a chain link fence. If the horse wanted to exercise he could take one step forward and one step back. I hope he knows how to "Repeat the Process."

I am sure the horse would jump the fence and run for freedom if it had enough room to get a running start...which it certainly didn't.

We went on to the garden store to pick up the check. I remarked to one of the men working there "Have you seen that horse up the road?" The first guy said "My wife brought me to work this morning and said she saw a horse in that yard and I looked in her purse for a liquor bottle...the yard was smaller than my pick up truck." The other man said he had seen it too.

What in Heaven's name are people doing having a large farm animal living in a fenced in area the size of a small garage?

I guess their little girl wakes up every morning and looks out the window of their small trailer and says "There's my Horsey, squeezed in by the dog kennels."

I told Massey I was going back tomorrow to take a picture. I think this beats Charlie Sheen's antics...at least he has a huge house to be an idiot in and has CHOSEN his option.

This poor huge creature is living in a space so small that it has no room to argue the point...literally!

I treat my three mutts like royalty. Granted they haven't had shots in two years but they are loved, fed and have an acre fenced in to roam and run.

I feel like bringing that horse home with me...and don't think Tim would even notice. The pups, not so much.

If it's still there tomorrow I am taking a picture; I thought WE had it rough but at least we are trying to do something about it.

Who's gonna help this horse?

I may just buy this horse an ad in Massey's program:

"Free horse to anybody that has a yard larger than a garage."

Til next time...

"Just Saying" COTTON

Everybody Knows an "Eddie Haskell"

If you read my blog you know I assign everyone (almost everyone) at work a nickname.

We have a new guy that is young...REALLY young especially compared to me.

We have a running joke at work...the last few people we have hired that just haven't fit in had first names beginning with the same initial. It's a JINX I tell you!

This one's no exception.

I CAN say that when the first JINX started the bar was really low. We raised the bar with every JINX we have hired since and now have it about thigh- high . Of course that's still too low for me to Limbo under so we need to keep searching for that bar raising JINX .

I think everyone knows an "Eddie."

It's the guy that works harder at getting out of work than it would take to DO the work.

It's the guy that thinks he's cool when every one else knows he is a doofus.

He's always likable enough but just when you let your guard down and try to cut them a break they do something to remind you why you gave them the nick name "Eddie."

Sometimes it's nice having an "Eddie" around.

Number One: You don't have to try as hard to look good at work.

Number Two: It gives you something to laugh at especially on the really tough shifts...that's when they generally screw up even more and STILL try to act like they really have it going on and YOU'RE the dummy.

Number Three: I guess when I was really young I was an "Eddie." I hope I wasn't quite as lazy or shiftless...actually I KNOW I wasn't.

All in all I dismiss most of it to being a kid.

I think ALL people are kids until they are approaching their thirties. Some are slow learners and remain kids late into their thirties, and have even known some people to be ridiculously inept and unreliable well into their fifties.

"Stupidity doesn't discriminate."

It's like getting in line behind someone at the Cable company, bank or Verizon store that wants to argue every point, ask every question and wage every battle in the little window of time they have face to face with a company representative (that obviously couldn't care less and is in absolutely no position to change or do anything about your complaints and grievances.)

But they will still stand there and waste MY time and everyone else's.

When will they learn?

When will they realize no matter what bank, cable or cell phone provider you choose...they're gonna put the screws to you. You signed on the bottom line, you gave them your social security number, you waited in line so long to sign up for service your eyes are too tired to read the tiny print, you sign and hope you've signed with the "Least Evil."

There should be two lines in these offices. One line should be "Compliant" and the other "Combative."

If you are retired with nothing to do or extremely rich, get in the "Combative" line...and "Good Luck."

If you are like me and have five minutes to pay a bill get back in the car and be at the high school before your daughter starts calling and sending you texts and hope you don't run out of gas on the way back to work because you don't have time to stop...get in the "Compliant" line.

I can't wait to be old and combative...geez, I just hope I get to be old. The rest will all be gravy.

Don't get me wrong, if you are flat out wrong I will press the point and usually win the battle.

If you are a company that didn't exist or wasn't even a factor in life forty years ago (cable, cellular, Internet) I know you are gouging me.

I grew up perfectly healthy and happy without Internet, cable and a cell phone.

I know it can be done...can somebody tell my KIDS that?

What does it mean when you are living in the "Jetson" years and working with an "Eddie Haskell?'

I am "Lost in Space."

My universes are colliding...next thing I know Fred Flintstone will be knocking at my door telling me Tim didn't pay his "Water Buffalo" dues and Wilma was "tweeting" about him being a "Dead Beat Buffalo."

Til next time... COTTON

Just a Glimpse...

Here's a glimpse of me "Resting my eyes" between shifts at the last competition...and what a glorious rest it was! I never knew how comfy a hard plastic bleacher in a gym could be even with Teddy the Tyrant booming out criticism and corrections. He sounded like a Sugar Plum to me and sent me into a thirty minute, much needed sweet coma. I chose the behind shot...the other one looked like an ninety year old woman sleeping in a hall of the nursing home unattended.



At least I still have a twenty year old "Booty."











The uniforms were ready for this past competition and looked FANTASTIC. They go great with the theme of the show.














Of course I chose Massey for the close up...at least I know her mom doesn't mind me using her close up in my blog!






I used a few other kids to show the enormous size of the sets.





Behind the guard to the left is a pic of ONE of the four swing sets that are put up and taken down before and after each show in under two minutes.










In the background of this shot you can see three of the FIVE slides that are put together and taken down again as well.













It's incredible what these Props people do. It's also incredible that they were desperate enough to let me be part of the team!



It's even more incredible what this team of up and coming young adults can do when they put aside peer pressure, pettiness and pride.



They are a championship team, have been called that by judges and will always be champions to me.



When you are fifty like me and had some recent hard knocks, it's very comforting to still be able to remember AND experience those wonderful ( back then from dramatic to horrific) years and know that in a few more short ones YOUR child will realize ...in the blink of an eye, high school will be over and end up being a tiny blip on the huge radar of life .



I am so lucky to have this wonderful connection to youth and be able to enjoy it with not only my daughter but 75 of her...now MY closest friends.

Those four years did end up to be a blip...but in hindsight, it was a pretty FUN blip.



Where can I sign up for a "Do Over?"



Til next Time....COTTON

PS As always click on the pics for larger view...except for my Butt shot.