It's Starting to Sink in

It's gonna happen. I'm just having a hard time accepting it. My youngest is graduating from high school in less than a week and I feel lost. How did almost eighteen years go by ?

She fought her way into  this world weighing barely four pounds. Her entire head was smaller than my own hand but after a two week stay in  the hospital she came home and began to blossom.

She had the curliest hair I had ever seen and was quiet as a church mouse. I started to wonder if she would ever come out of her shell when all of the sudden, she began to get more talkative. She still wasn't a loud mouth like her momma but began to blossom even more.

 One thing was for sure, she was a lot cuter as a toddler than I was. She had older nephews who adored her and two brothers who  put up with her.

I already had two sons and loved them tremendously but little boys can give or take being around their momma. I wanted a "BFF" and having a daughter felt like my best shot. I turned out to be right.

She was so girly and fun to be around. I didn't have to share her with anybody until she was about five and new neighbors moved in next  door with a daughter one year younger than Massey. Then the "BFF" status changed.

Massey and Lyss were made  for each other. Massey finally had someone younger than her to boss around and Lyss was just fine with it. They were together all the time, shared  clothes (still do) secrets and summers. They wore a path out between our two houses and forged a bond  which still remains.

So my little BFFL found another BFFL. She made an excellent choice so it didn't bother me all that much.

They were little goof balls but knew how to have fun and I was lucky enough to witness it. Of course they would have falling outs but were always eventually drawn back to each other.

Then before I knew it she grew up and learned  the more BFF's you  have the better and I just felt lucky to be one of them.

She's always been close to her daddy and in his eyes does no wrong. That's okay with me. Being the "Heavy" has always been my job. His job has always been security and provisions. We make a good team.

Then one day she suddenly looked like this and knew I was in serious trouble. How the heck did she grow into a young woman so quickly?

She simply took off without me then dragged me willingly with her. She  got involved in Guard at her high school , learned camaraderie, commitment and dedication and grew some really tough feet. She spent about five seasons with them and just like that, decided it wasn't for her anymore.

She decided she wanted to excel in the classroom, head  to college and make a difference in the world. I was a hundred percent behind her.

Two years later I am amazed at all she has done. She's made National Honor Society and  graduating with honors. She just got accepted to Georgia State University this past week and in less than a week will be walking across a stage and handed a diploma. In a few short months she will be walking onto another stage of life and certain she will blossom even more.

My little girl is now a young woman and  the pride I feel is enormous.

 My  two sons are doing great after several jump starts. The boys will be just fine once they finally meet the woman of their dreams who will shove them down the path of life.

I'm not the best mom, far from it but at least they are all three alive and still kicking. They all love me and all make me proud. A mom can't ask for much more.

I just can't seem to fathom how my oldest is edging towards thirty and in less than two months my middle son will be twenty one? Massey is leaving for college in a matter of weeks and I'll be here alone with my husband.

These three little goof balls were all kids last time I checked. Now they are three young adults  making their way without needing me  every single  day.

Wow...not too sure what to think about that. I know it makes me feel old but I've been feeling old for a few years now. Guess God was just preparing me for this week.

Thank The Lord I still have three dogs who need me.

It's a bittersweet week for me but considering the past four years,  feels like quite an accomplishment.

I've had lots of help and prayers. I've had bad breaks but I've had good breaks. I've had a support system which is incredible...and believe it or not have been able to laugh all along the way. Some days have been downers, but if you don't have bad days, it doesn't make the good days stand out. I'm all about making a good day stand out!

Til next  time...COTTON

The Comfort Zone

So it was back to the restaurant tonight for me. Waiting tables is NOT easy work but something I've been doing for  thirty four years, hence it's my "Comfort Zone."

I had a good night's sleep and got lots of errands run today. Got my Hurr Did, groceries bought, bills paid and yard cut. Work was great, it was busy and I had four different tables come in and ask for my section.(always a good thing) No hunting and pecking at computer  spread sheets or Excel, just talking and putting in orders and giving good service. It's so much easier now that I'm not doing it seven days a week, I actually enjoy it much more. I went in tonight and one of the managers said "Hey Ms. Cotton! I sure miss you around here."

I've stepped out of my comfort zone with this new part time job and sometimes feel totally overwhelmed, which is a good thing. You have to push yourself to get ahead. I sold a mattress and box springs to one of my restaurant coworker's boyfriend yesterday and when I went into work tonight she said he really liked the new mattress and slept like a baby last night. She also made the comment that he said I was going to do great at  this job. I hope he's right!

Life is closing in on me fast. In less than a month my youngest  graduates from high school (with honors) my oldest is living on the other side of the world and my middle one is turning out to make me pretty dang proud too!

What more can a girl ask for? I have two jobs I really like, three kids I absolutely adore and one husband who deserves a gold medal for putting up with the likes of me. Tim and I are a combination of Ralph and Alice, Al and Peg and Ricky and Lucy with a touch of  Archie and Edith except that I wouldn't be caught dead in one of Edith's dresses or Peg's heels and hair dos.

On top of it all I have three pups who I love too. One's blind, one's deaf (or just extremely stubborn) and one's just BAD. I wouldn't trade any one of the three, I love my pups and they are all crazy about me! I have three kids who are all different and unique in their own way....the pups followed suit.

I reached a stand still with  the Vet specialist I took my blind dog to. I'm going another avenue, contacting the Auburn Veterinary Program about having his sight restored. My vet thinks he is healthy enough for eye surgery and since he saved my Ham from heart worms, I'm going with his vote. It may sound uncaring or cruel but I am willing to take  the chance on his eye surgery.  He never runs anymore, he never jumps anymore, he simply bumps and bumbles his way though every  day. Click on this link to see Ham, being Ham!

http://youtu.be/xsKUECBVTCw

This is a video of him in his prime, just a few short years ago. I'm willing to take the gamble. He doesn't want to be a doddering old man, he wants to be HAM again!

So I worry  about my dogs  almost as much as I worry about my kids....I think that makes me a pretty caring person. That's not such a bad thing to be is it?

Swinging back to selling furniture tomorrow and swinging back to being a server on Sunday. I'm a lucky wife, a lucky mom and pretty satisfied person.

There's always room for improvement!

Til next  time...COTTON

So It Begins...

Does anybody  remember the movie 1941? It came out in 1979 and had John Belushi playing the part of Capt. Wild Bill Kelso,  a fearless renegade fighter pilot. I loved that movie...and felt like I was in it this morning at work.

Let the Valentine's Day Massacre begin! I walked into work at ten thirty and the phone was already ringing off the hook. Reservations for tomorrow and reservations for today. We open  the doors at eleven and in came a ten top of  "Little Ole Blue Hairs" ready for some lunch and wine. Then a fourteen top came in the door followed by  table after table after table.

The owner was on line cooking, only assisted by two Latino cooks, a male who  is pretty new and a female who has been with us long enough  that we can almost understand her now. Her favorite saying when we are busy is "Hokay, Take it Heasy!" His son was due in at one.

During the middle of the lunch crush I went to fill up a glass with water and noticed it wasn't coming out very fast. I needed four waters and after filling two glasses the water simply stopped coming out. I went to the hand sink and turned it on and the water just dribbled,  then just stopped. I went to the coffee maker and tried the hot water spigot we use for hot tea. Same deal.  As my Latino friends would say. "Aqua no mas."

I peered back through the cook line where Len, the owner was trying to put out thirty plates of food at  once and said "We don't have water."

He screamed back (He's def a crazy Italian) "What do you think I can do about it right now? Go find Barb!" (His equally crazy wife)  I found Barb in the office and relayed the message. By now we had about six more tables go  down and as Murphy's Law would have it...everybody  wanted a glass of water.

Len (the owner) was fighting his own battle on the other side of the cook's line, a language battle. He was yelling out orders as to what he needed. What he really needed at that moment was to be fluent in Spanish.  The male cook, Jesus (that would "Hey- Seuss" in English) was  trying to keep up and little Carmen was doing her best as well. Of course Murphy's Law kicked in again and every  ticket had special instructions. Yes I needed two Eggplant sandwiches but they didn't want it on Ciabatta bread, they wanted it on  flatbread. Len  was trying to explain the difference when his fuse blew. (It's a short fuse anyway) I bet I heard the word "Flatbread" yelled at least fifteen  times before we had to turn the music in the dining room up.

Hey-Seuss was doing his best and think he was glad he didn't completely understand everything Len said, although  they were mostly just four letter words.

I was on  the other side of the cook line, which  is a narrow window we peer through at the cooks with a new server beside me. Once again Murphy's Law ...me and a new server on a day like this. Not only that but he is a religious zealot compared to Len. He said quietly to me, I think I'll just go back out front." I wanted to say "Run Forrest, Run!" but just said "That's a good idea, it'll all blow over."

It didn't blow over. It blew up. It was a water main break down the street and every one lost water which  encompassed most probably almost one hundred places of business.

Barb came back into  the kitchen to peer back  through the cook line window and deliver the news. She said "We have to close."

By this point, Len was in "Capt. Wild Bill Kelso" mode. "NO we DON"T" he screamed..."It could be back on in five minutes, get this food OUT of the window, we'll recover and power through!"

By this point, Hey-Seuss and Carmen were beginning to wonder if America was really that great after all and hoping maybe one of the tunnels back home was still open. My new co worker seemed shell shocked and I simply began to laugh.

Here's the thing. I work for a family owned business. They don't have corporate back up. This restaurant is their life and their life was on the line today. The owner, Len is ten years older than me and works a minimum of ninety hours a week, and most probably thinks of this store in his sleep...which  can't be much.

The water came back on before I left for my break, we were closed for maybe thirty minutes.

I went to the bank and gas station and saw  the crews digging up  the water line. It was ten guys standing around a hole with hard hats and a shovel while one guy operated a back hoe. (Classic)

I zoomed home and cooked some Hamburger  Helper for the kids and went back to work. Now the night shift was there. I told Kory, another cook who had just come on that he missed a crazy  lunch and he asked why? I said ask 'Hey-Seuss." He asked Jesus (Hey-Seuss) how lunch was and my buddy (we used His name a LOT today spelling it with a "J" and a few added expletives) blew out his breath and said "Not Heasy."

One more shift and we are done til Mother's Day. It was crazy, it was fun to laugh about after the fact. It's just the way it works in the restaurant world. I slapped the owner on  the back when I left on my break and said "We're giving you a new nick name...FLAT BREAD!"

In the words of my Latino friends..."O Mi Dios"

Len  was totally "Wild Bill Kelso" He was fighting through and determined. He was crazy and deranged. He scared everybody in the place but the crazy Bast made it happen. If there is one thing I can say about Len, he's nuts but seems to love me and that's a good spot light to be in.

Til next  time...ALGODON!

With a Lump in My Throat ... Off She Goes

It's been a long week. I can't even remember my last day off.







The thing about being a server is that if you don't work you don't get a paycheck. We are so close to turning the corner. Granted I feel like we are turning the corner in a 1965 Ford Galaxy station wagon with bald tires in dire need of a tune up...but we are creeping forward and I am grateful...especially for everyone that has thrown us some love into the back of it , helped push when it conked out totally and jumped us off to continue on our road to recovery.

Love is a mighty, mighty tool and the most important one in my toolbox.

Massey has her first big competition out of state this weekend. I picked up a shift yesterday for a girl and picked up tonight for another server...scraping together the money to send her on her way with everything she needed. Her air mattress (of course) had a hole in it. Note to self...never leave it inflated around three big dogs...it looks like a HUGE dog bed to them and is NOT "Claws Friendly."

Of course if I had thought of it earlier I could have borrowed one...but she needs one anyway, they sleep in high school classrooms on these road trips and I worked for the school system for seven years..."Ya don't want your kid sleeping on the floor of a public school without at LEAST a ten inch buffer."

Then of course she needed foundation and liquid black eye liner for their "Geisha" type makeup routine....at least it looks like that to me.

I'll have to hand it to "Lil' General"...it does make their eyes "pop" from a distance and all look uniformly pretty.

It's a strange world, this "Guard World."

I never even knew it existed until 3 years ago and have been totally entranced by it.

I think I like it more than Massey does sometimes.

That's because it gets tough.


It gets tense, sometimes dramatic and often overwhelming; but when you stick with it and give it your all, can also be tremendously rewarding and a rush... from having successfully done your best .

What greater lesson can you teach your kid than what life will be like and how to live it?
Come to think of it...they should probably DOUBLE the dues.
What these kids are learning is priceless.

Life isn't always roses but if you can put up with the thorns it sure smells pretty.

I can't go with her this weekend and after my bonding experience at the competition I worked, had a lump in my throat tonight as I helped the prop guys load the last of the sliding boards into the trailer for the trip to Pensacola. ARRGGHH....

I haven't really felt a true part of the guard until this past year.

Summer band camp started it, and sucked me in from the jump on a sweltering summer afternoon surrounded by 120 degree asphalt.

Yeah I still owe them a ton of money, but have helped raise some and volunteered every time I possibly could.

When my Ford Galaxy pulls into the station of success...and I KNOW it will, they will get every penny and then some.

I'm not even charging them an entertainment fee when I DO work with them!! (that even made ME chuckle.)

I used to worry that this Guard thing was an unnecessary expense.

Since working with these teens and especially working with dedicated parents and volunteers, it has taught me once again what life is all about.

There are no guarantees. Sometimes you feel like you can't hang on but if you DO, may often feel like you never want to let go.

She leaves without me tomorrow...I am sad.





I love my girl (my little Money Pit.)







I love all these folks I have met and friends I have made while doing "The Guard Experiment."

They all seem to like me (Tim's all flustered about THAT one and encourages me to hang out with them as much as possible :)

When I left the school tonight and hugged a couple of the prop guys that put up with my lame help , I got a huge lump in my throat.

It wasn't the throw up feeling I felt when under the gun at the last show or feeling like a complete nervous wreck trying to help.

It was knowing I wouldn't be going with them and experiencing that whole feeling over again.

I WANT to be a part of this team and have "In-Joyed" them letting me be a sub.

Next year I'll take my act on the road WITH them!!
Tim will probably pay THEM dues to just take me with them.

I don't have to work til late tomorrow so I'll go to the high school to see them all off. I already told one guy tonight to stuff me in the glove compartment and take me with them.

It's hard seeing your child leave on a trip or adventure without you. They take a little piece of your heart with them when they are out of your touch and sight.

She'll be surrounded by friends and parents that love her. She'll be fine.
It's me I'm worried about.

I'm playing the lottery after work tomorrow night. If I hit...there will be a private plane to bring all of them back on Sunday...slides, swings and even Teddy!

It's hard not going with her but great to know I can send her.

CATCH 22.

At least I can work like a busy beaver this weekend and not have to worry... I'll be there NEXT year.
Tim will probably even petition for them to schedule MORE out of state competitions....even further away. God bless him, it ain't easy being married to me.

Good Luck Massey...Good Luck ECHS...

Til Next Time...COTTON

A Day Off... With My Kids

Believe it or not I have TWO days off this week. I had yesterday off (You know...the greatest day I've had in months) and I worked tonight. I have tomorrow off and finally got Massey an appointment with the physical therapist at Children's Healthcare in downtown Atlanta for her knee.


I have been so blessed with the government help I have recently received I decided to use that Peachcare plan I have the kids on to finally get her some help for her knee that has been bothering her for months.

The thing about Massey is that she is so dramatic I never know when it's real or just her earning another academy award for "Best Actress in a dramatic role." Her nickname on the Guard is even "Drama" and that pretty much sums her up.

I poo-pooed it for a while but when she came down with strep a couple of months back and Tim took her to the doctor they examined her knee as well and said she needed physical therapy. GO FIGURE...the little stinker was legit with her complaints!

The first time she told me she needed glasses I took her to "Claire's" and bought her some clear glasses just figuring she wanted to have some glasses to look all "Glamorous" and she would be satisfied. When I took her for a sports physical when she wanted to try out for the middle school track team she flunked her eye test and I felt like "Worst Mother of the Year."

You never know with girls...they are either on top of the world or drowning in despair.

The closest place to take her is Atlanta in North Druid Hills...45 miles from home.

I have done a lot for Massey, granted she makes great grades ...is really a sweet girl but with our misfortunes of late I feel I have neglected Zach .

He will NOT allow me to buy clothes for him and would rather go to school buck naked than to wear clothes I pick out for him. He has one pair of cords that he likes and several tee shirts that I bought him two years ago off "InterPunk.com" and a Ramones hoodie that my brother bought him for Christmas last year.

Every morning I say "Zach, get up and put on your uniform...it's time for school."

When he was younger (probably 8, my sister was taking him somewhere in her car when they passed a private school just letting out. He made the comment to my sister as they drove by...'Do they wear the same costumes every day?"

That's what Zach wears every day of the week...his costume and I bet the teachers wonder how poor his parents are that he owns one pair of pants and three tee shirts that all look alike.

So tomorrow we are all headed to Atlanta together.

We will take Massey for knee therapy and Zach for fashion therapy.

Zach is a different kid...DEFINITELY.

He marches to the beat of a different drum...sometimes I even wonder if it IS a drum.

I came home from work tonight and googled thrift stores in Little Five Points in Atlanta. If any one is a " LittleFive" guy, Zach is. He has never been there, but it is place that he will probably see and say to himself "I HAVE FOUND MY TRUE HOME."

You can find some really cheap vintage and classic clothes for a steal. Two bucks for a pair of pants and shirts for fifty cents.

Maybe I'll get REALLY lucky and he will refuse to come back home with me. (TOTALLY KIDDING !)

So Massey will get her much needed therapy and Zach will get some much needed new "Uniforms."

Little Five is an eclectic and funky area that Zach will fall in love with I am sure. My boy needs to have something to smile about and after all I have done for Massey (guard, chorus and even those glasses I fought against) he is due.

Headed off tomorrow for a day with the kids and to enjoy some "ME" time. Isn't it nice that you can consider a day with your teens "ME" time?

An outing and an adventure with the kids...let's see how far I can stretch twenty bucks...I'm guessing pretty far and the reward of being with my kids will be even greater...worth millions!

At least my teens will still go somewhere with me...

Til next time...CURRENTLY COOL COTTON