Thursday, March 10, 2011

With a Lump in My Throat ... Off She Goes

It's been a long week. I can't even remember my last day off.

The thing about being a server is that if you don't work you don't get a paycheck. We are so close to turning the corner. Granted I feel like we are turning the corner in a 1965 Ford Galaxy station wagon with bald tires in dire need of a tune up...but we are creeping forward and I am grateful...especially for everyone that has thrown us some love into the back of it , helped push when it conked out totally and jumped us off to continue on our road to recovery.

Love is a mighty, mighty tool and the most important one in my toolbox.

Massey has her first big competition out of state this weekend. I picked up a shift yesterday for a girl and picked up tonight for another server...scraping together the money to send her on her way with everything she needed. Her air mattress (of course) had a hole in it. Note to self...never leave it inflated around three big looks like a HUGE dog bed to them and is NOT "Claws Friendly."

Of course if I had thought of it earlier I could have borrowed one...but she needs one anyway, they sleep in high school classrooms on these road trips and I worked for the school system for seven years..."Ya don't want your kid sleeping on the floor of a public school without at LEAST a ten inch buffer."

Then of course she needed foundation and liquid black eye liner for their "Geisha" type makeup least it looks like that to me.

I'll have to hand it to "Lil' General" does make their eyes "pop" from a distance and all look uniformly pretty.

It's a strange world, this "Guard World."

I never even knew it existed until 3 years ago and have been totally entranced by it.

I think I like it more than Massey does sometimes.

That's because it gets tough.

It gets tense, sometimes dramatic and often overwhelming; but when you stick with it and give it your all, can also be tremendously rewarding and a rush... from having successfully done your best .

What greater lesson can you teach your kid than what life will be like and how to live it?
Come to think of it...they should probably DOUBLE the dues.
What these kids are learning is priceless.

Life isn't always roses but if you can put up with the thorns it sure smells pretty.

I can't go with her this weekend and after my bonding experience at the competition I worked, had a lump in my throat tonight as I helped the prop guys load the last of the sliding boards into the trailer for the trip to Pensacola. ARRGGHH....

I haven't really felt a true part of the guard until this past year.

Summer band camp started it, and sucked me in from the jump on a sweltering summer afternoon surrounded by 120 degree asphalt.

Yeah I still owe them a ton of money, but have helped raise some and volunteered every time I possibly could.

When my Ford Galaxy pulls into the station of success...and I KNOW it will, they will get every penny and then some.

I'm not even charging them an entertainment fee when I DO work with them!! (that even made ME chuckle.)

I used to worry that this Guard thing was an unnecessary expense.

Since working with these teens and especially working with dedicated parents and volunteers, it has taught me once again what life is all about.

There are no guarantees. Sometimes you feel like you can't hang on but if you DO, may often feel like you never want to let go.

She leaves without me tomorrow...I am sad.

I love my girl (my little Money Pit.)

I love all these folks I have met and friends I have made while doing "The Guard Experiment."

They all seem to like me (Tim's all flustered about THAT one and encourages me to hang out with them as much as possible :)

When I left the school tonight and hugged a couple of the prop guys that put up with my lame help , I got a huge lump in my throat.

It wasn't the throw up feeling I felt when under the gun at the last show or feeling like a complete nervous wreck trying to help.

It was knowing I wouldn't be going with them and experiencing that whole feeling over again.

I WANT to be a part of this team and have "In-Joyed" them letting me be a sub.

Next year I'll take my act on the road WITH them!!
Tim will probably pay THEM dues to just take me with them.

I don't have to work til late tomorrow so I'll go to the high school to see them all off. I already told one guy tonight to stuff me in the glove compartment and take me with them.

It's hard seeing your child leave on a trip or adventure without you. They take a little piece of your heart with them when they are out of your touch and sight.

She'll be surrounded by friends and parents that love her. She'll be fine.
It's me I'm worried about.

I'm playing the lottery after work tomorrow night. If I hit...there will be a private plane to bring all of them back on Sunday...slides, swings and even Teddy!

It's hard not going with her but great to know I can send her.


At least I can work like a busy beaver this weekend and not have to worry... I'll be there NEXT year.
Tim will probably even petition for them to schedule MORE out of state competitions....even further away. God bless him, it ain't easy being married to me.

Good Luck Massey...Good Luck ECHS...

Til Next Time...COTTON

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