Thursday, March 3, 2011

Everybody Knows an "Eddie Haskell"

If you read my blog you know I assign everyone (almost everyone) at work a nickname.

We have a new guy that is young...REALLY young especially compared to me.

We have a running joke at work...the last few people we have hired that just haven't fit in had first names beginning with the same initial. It's a JINX I tell you!

This one's no exception.

I CAN say that when the first JINX started the bar was really low. We raised the bar with every JINX we have hired since and now have it about thigh- high . Of course that's still too low for me to Limbo under so we need to keep searching for that bar raising JINX .
I think everyone knows an "Eddie."
It's the guy that works harder at getting out of work than it would take to DO the work.
It's the guy that thinks he's cool when every one else knows he is a doofus.
He's always likable enough but just when you let your guard down and try to cut them a break they do something to remind you why you gave them the nick name "Eddie."
Sometimes it's nice having an "Eddie" around.
Number One: You don't have to try as hard to look good at work.
Number Two: It gives you something to laugh at especially on the really tough shifts...that's when they generally screw up even more and STILL try to act like they really have it going on and YOU'RE the dummy.
Number Three: I guess when I was really young I was an "Eddie." I hope I wasn't quite as lazy or shiftless...actually I KNOW I wasn't.
All in all I dismiss most of it to being a kid.
I think ALL people are kids until they are approaching their thirties. Some are slow learners and remain kids late into their thirties, and have even known some people to be ridiculously inept and unreliable well into their fifties.
"Stupidity doesn't discriminate."
It's like getting in line behind someone at the Cable company, bank or Verizon store that wants to argue every point, ask every question and wage every battle in the little window of time they have face to face with a company representative (that obviously couldn't care less and is in absolutely no position to change or do anything about your complaints and grievances.)
But they will still stand there and waste MY time and everyone else's.
When will they learn?
When will they realize no matter what bank, cable or cell phone provider you choose...they're gonna put the screws to you. You signed on the bottom line, you gave them your social security number, you waited in line so long to sign up for service your eyes are too tired to read the tiny print, you sign and hope you've signed with the "Least Evil."
There should be two lines in these offices. One line should be "Compliant" and the other "Combative."
If you are retired with nothing to do or extremely rich, get in the "Combative" line...and "Good Luck."
If you are like me and have five minutes to pay a bill get back in the car and be at the high school before your daughter starts calling and sending you texts and hope you don't run out of gas on the way back to work because you don't have time to stop...get in the "Compliant" line.
I can't wait to be old and combative...geez, I just hope I get to be old. The rest will all be gravy.
Don't get me wrong, if you are flat out wrong I will press the point and usually win the battle.
If you are a company that didn't exist or wasn't even a factor in life forty years ago (cable, cellular, Internet) I know you are gouging me.
I grew up perfectly healthy and happy without Internet, cable and a cell phone.
I know it can be done...can somebody tell my KIDS that?
What does it mean when you are living in the "Jetson" years and working with an "Eddie Haskell?'
I am "Lost in Space."
My universes are thing I know Fred Flintstone will be knocking at my door telling me Tim didn't pay his "Water Buffalo" dues and Wilma was "tweeting" about him being a "Dead Beat Buffalo."
Til next time... COTTON

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