A blog about anything or sometimes about nothing. A place for me to write and post my feelings or opinions on things ranging from parenting to waiting tables to living in America to daily observations and my personal experiences. Sometimes I just want to give people a humorous read and make them laugh at the end of a trying day.
I dressed as a waitress tonight and went to work. Massey stayed home and gave out candy. Seems we live in a pretty kid friendly neighborhood, she gave out one entire huge bowl and half of another.
The neighborhood we lived in back in Newnan was newly built when we moved in so all the kids pretty much grew up together and by the time my kids were grown, so were everyone elses. We had zero Trick or Treaters last year and one the year before that. If I bought candy it was something I liked and had it for weeks to enjoy.
It seemed weird being 88 degrees the day before the first day of November but is my favorite thing about this move. Tonight was my Friday and felt good to be tired.
It also feels good to be thirty minutes away from the beach and exactly where I'm heading tomorrow on my day off. My little car gets 40 mpg and the place I go has free parking and restrooms.
I toss a sheet in the backseat of the car to spread out on the sand to relax on, take two bottles of water and spend three hours taking in the sights and sounds of the beauty of an ocean. It soothes my soul, which needs it.
This whole transition has been hard for me, especially with my rocky employment start but will be okay as long as I can get in my car, drive to Cocoa Beach... smell the salt water and let the ocean breeze take my worries away.
The times, they're changing but simply must go with the flow. Here's some dudes in tight pants with crazy ass hair sprayed hair but can belt out some tunes.
I'm gonna keep on rolling and go to the beach when I need to decompress.
I feel more comfortable with each and every shift I work. It's a logistical breeze, literally less than twenty minutes from my driveway to the time I actually clock in on the computer at work. Bonus points: free parking and no security screening. My sales and tip average have increased with each shift and beginning to feel semi confident again. Management seems to have confidence in me as well which increases my own semi confidence. They give me the same size section of tables as every other server and never hover over my shoulder. It's still nerve wracking when I have five tables going at once but am careful to write absolutely everything down and check every order before sending to the kitchen. Today was just my fourth day on the floor and can say with (more than semi) confidence am going to blow this job out of the water and be a Go-To server in a month. I continue to study and ask questions every day, have introduced myself to every back of the house employee and can with a lot of confidence the kitchen staff already likes me quite a bit. So many servers never bother to get to know the heart of the house, the peeps and the preps who make it all happen.
One of my last tables tonight was a very nice couple who happened to be from metro Atlanta but now lived in Orlando. They asked for the check and said they needed to get home in time to watch The Walking Dead. When I came back with their check, brought my cell phone with me. I showed the wife this picture...
Her immediate comment?
"Shut the **** up!"
Then I scrolled back to this one...
She said the exact same thing, only louder.
It's called connected service and I'm all about that. It feels good to be connecting with customers again.
It feels even better to be doing it four days into this new gig.
I'm thinking Kella is finally getting her groove back.
It's all about baby steps and not sure why I keep forgetting that. God knows I've had to do it multiple times the past ten years. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
I'm just hoping at my current age and this particular point in my life, will finally be the last time I have to remind my crazy self of the fact.
My brother makes fun of me because I freak out so easily but when you push a brand new human being out out your body or have one ripped out during an emergency C section the worry level goes off the charts for at least twenty five more years.
My problem isn't my kids anymore (all three are doing terrific) but is me. I'm just glad he never had kids and doesn't mind taking care of me when I can't.
Same with my sister. Although she had two kids of her own to worry about has taken care of me like a mother while being the best sister ever.
Essentially this blog has been a place for me to remind myself of how lucky I am having ten years of bad luck.
In hindsight wish every person could be as unlucky as I have been.
Slowly but surely am clawing my way back to the point where can resume paying it forward again... the greatest concept ever which could literally change and help save this world.
He may be a terrible boyfriend but the dude knows how to tell it like it is.
I don't want to wait, just want to help... as we all should.
It's been a month since the move to Florida. We had a cat4 hurricane hit our very first week here... seems about right.
I had a total meltdown week two because was suddenly unemployed... seems about right.
I secured a great job week three but had yet another meltdown because of starting over again in a new place... definitely seems about right.
I studied even more than had when beginning my previous job three years ago and was a nervous wreck then too. Yep, seems about right.
The restaurant has only been open for a little over a month and all the other servers had gone through two weeks of training before opening. It made me feel better to know they only had six weeks seniority over me and still made it onto the floor in six days. Guess that over achiever side of me finally paid off. I still have tons to learn but am a pretty quick learner when is server related.
I had this move planned like a tactical surprise military invasion. We were broke for almost ten years but have made money hand over fist the last three. All bills were caught up, current and although the cost of the move wiped out my savings had enough to get me through one week here before beginning my new gig at the airport in Orlando. Then the gig (which wasn't looking forward to anyway) fell apart and suddenly was unemployed for three weeks longer than expected.
Money goes out a lot quicker when none is coming in and have been ridiculously spoiled the last three years. When the spoiling stopped and didn't have another job to immediately go to making half the money, was screwed like a light bulb.
I was more than devastated. I was broke again financially, emotionally, and mentally.
I was a train wreck but at least finally had really nice finger nails.
Serving for a living is killer on the nails if you do your job right and don't get them done, gelled or stuck on in a shop.
I am way over fifty six years old and can not for the life of me imagine spending money to have someone give me fake nails. I file and keep the dirt cleaned out from underneath my own and use clear polish to make them look all shiny. After I've done them sometimes even enjoy looking at my handiwork.
Maybe I missed my calling because I see a lot of fancy and fake nails out there every single day, not to mention fingernails and toenails painted with themes or pictures. I'm gonna put it right out there now...are you serious that you can't clip and paint your own toenails? I do mine and think they look pretty cute, even that one awkward screwed up half pinky toe nail.
I've seen worse and feel pretty good about my own. I could do without all the wrinkles on my hands but kind of reminds me of how hard it's been to get where I am now.
I've finally found myself, homestyle nails and all.
Sometimes you have to look at the big picture.
What I've been through is what has made me who I am now. When life gets tough you need to get tougher. When you lose something great something greater is destined to happen if you keep giving life your all and fight like crazy. Crazy is my forte' and has so far served me well.
And yes that is a lampshade on my head at a party we had at my sister's house...Touche'
It'll all be okay and so will I with my house painted finger and toenails.
I am so sick of this election and way my country has reacted to it. If you support a candidate, that's great but doesn't mean you should berate, belittle, out right call names and slander the other candidate. It's called a polling booth and if millions and millions more Americans used it would be a totally different ballgame.
Trust me, our founding fathers came up with the great idea of democracy while (pretty sure) not texting, tweeting, Snapchating or putting the document on Instagram for instant approval.
How do you know what these candidates have or haven't done? Were you there to witness it in the flesh or hear it with your own ears?
Heck... if you're a person without sin (any sin) feel free to cast the first and biggest stone you can find.
But here's my deal.
We're all in this boat together whether we like it or not. You can be in his boat or her boat. You can be in a red boat, blue boat, green boat, rainbow or neutral colored boat but all are floating in rocky waters. What really matters is that you're in a booth when the time comes to chose which boat will lead the way.
Number one, if you don't vote you give up your right to bitch.
Number two, don't be so hateful and derogatory towards someone you don't want to vote for. That's simply being a bully and adding to the problem.
Number three, we look like idiots to the rest of the world with our constant, sometimes viral attacks against opposing candidates.
Shut The Front Door.
Just go Vote.
I've voted in every election since 1978. Sometimes my choice won and sometimes didn't but whoever was elected as our leader had my support and prayers to do the right thing...
To lead our nation and give every person a fair shake at having a good life; be able to be who they wanted to be and respected for it. To take care of people who simply couldn't take care of themselves and take care of the men and women who serve our country unconditionally and keep us safe. To respect differing opinions and also realize opinions are like assholes, everyone has one but everyone don't need to be one.
I'm tired of hearing the drivel, back biting and accusations.
As much as I like to talk, the sound of silence seems louder with the punch of a ballot.
The hate simply has to stop.
Webster's defines hate as "To feel hostility or animosity toward. To detest."
Is this really what we want the rest of the entire world to think we as Americans feel about each other, during a freaking election?
Get real people.
Come together.
One of my favorite sayings, especially when working is "We either all look good together or bad together."
Number one am rocking my new work uniform. I think the flowers behind my ear take away from the the fact I wear glasses to see what I'm writing down or typing into the computer.
Today was the day. After four shifts following a server I waited on my manager today as if he was an actual customer to see if I could go on the floor on my own. I had the food pretty down, still have a lot to learn but knew the basics. I was more worried about the alcohol. Five different craft beers, cask wine on tap and signature cocktails. Lucky for me had Massey to drill me for three hours before I went to work. She told me I'd rock it when I left for work. I wasn't so sure but left for work anyway.
I got lucky and knew all the answers to all the questions they (luckily) asked me about the food, beer and wine. I bobbled a bit on happy hour questions (bar only) but since I'm a server felt okay but will be sure to learn. The only other thing I got wrong was our hours of business, have changed a couple of times since opening.
Here's the real kicker...during menu meeting afterwards with all other servers, the GM asked if everyone had met me and said "She just did really well with mock service."
Really well was all I needed to hear. Mock service started okay, with the manager I originally met when first coming in to apply. There was also a sous chef (younger really nice dude) so felt pretty comfortable. Then ten minutes in the General Manager sat down and joined them.
Rut Row...
Five minutes later my manger's boss from corporate joined the table.
You gotta be kidding me.
Really?
Best thing to happen today... ever.
Their boss asked me about the Jambalaya.
BAM!!
"It's terrific, made with our house made spicy andouille sausage, pork, seared shrimp, cajun rice and heirloom tomatoes."
Oh Massey, thank you for quizzing me like a boss and then some.
I don't have it all down yet and have a heck of a lot more to learn, but as I say way too often...
Bitch please.
I got this.
I worry too much, stress even more and for the life of me don't know why... but I do.
In six months tops will be back on top and once again be one of the 'go to' servers.
It's like I told them on my first interview at this new place.
If I was as good a wife and mother as I am a server, would really have something going on.
Guess I'm a slow learner. Looking back over the past few weeks has been very eye opening to me. Number one I worry way too much. Number two when am I going to realize that everything happens for a reason? Number three I need to have more faith in myself.
Massey went and voted early today and commented about how quickly it went so I went and did the same this afternoon. Here's the thing, I forgot to do any research about the locals running for office so did what I felt best and voted the majority of them out. Let's start over with some new crooks!
Then I went and got muh hurr did at the Great Clips up the street. I was a little nervous. When you already have short hair there aren't many options if they goof up. When I lived in Georgia had a great gal who cut my hair. The last time I visited she gave me some advice to make sure the person cutting my hair was comfortable with razor cuts. I signed in and asked if they did razor cuts?
"Sure!!"
The (very) young girl who finally called me back was cute as a button but just to reiterate asked on the way to the chair if she did razor cuts?
"No ma'am."
Thank The Lord she was at least honest. A guy cutting hair (almost through) said he did though and would be glad to cut it.
So now have a new fourteen dollar hair dresser! Also signed up for coupons and they are for $8.99 cuts...even better.
Now if I can just learn to take a decent selfie.
Came home and sat out back for a bit reading. October 26th and was a sunny 83 degrees, my favorite thing about this move. I watered all my house plants and the recently planted flower garden out front. (which is also coming up nicely)
Tim's still out of town so Massey and I met my brother for dinner at Chroma so could get his take on my new digs and pick up the check... Thank you, Chris!
The dinner just confirmed what a great choice I'd made. Both managers stopped by to chat, see how everything was and remarked how lucky they were to have me join the team.
The food and service was amazing. We had a communal dinner of crispy charred orange drumsticks, lamb ribs with Korean barbecue glaze, lump crab spring rolls, Quail egg croquettes with Yuca, a chopped heirloom salad with bleu cheese, shrimp Plancha with Arbol chile glaze, local fish and chips with hand cut fries and a fabulous caper aioli, baked house meatballs with Parmesan and San Marzano sauce, smoked wings with Ancho chile rub, chilled asparagus with poached egg and Chroma sliders with short rib patties, cheddar, bourbon onions, bacon jam and dill pickle.
Everyone was stuffed and satisfied.
That's the way I feel now about my life...stuffed and satisfied.
The airport concessionaire (HMS) I worked for through Ecco hung me out to dry and left me hearing nothing but crickets... nothing happened and nobody at HMS helped. That's okay too (in hindsight) if they didn't want me I certainly didn't want to work for them. It was the humiliation which hurt the most and think I conveyed that pretty succinctly in the pretty long letter I mailed last week to the CEO at their national headquarters. I'll never hear back from them but you can bet your bottom dollar they heard from me, and should have.
After all we've been through and survived these past ten years am still the first one to freak out when something goes wrong, and freak out is putting it mildly. I'm an all or nothing kind of freaker... usually all.
Oh so right but oh so seemingly hard for me to remember.
I gotta work on that.
Our struggle was real but so were all the family, friends and people who helped us survive. They were truly our bridge over the troubled waters.
I've been up and then I've been down. Then I was really up, and up and up. Then I was suddenly down. Then I felt lower than down, but isn't that really what life is all about, the ups and downs? If you never have downs how can you learn to appreciate the ups?
At the tender age of way past fifty six think I'm finally getting it.
Life's tough, wear a helmet.
I'm almost there with my new job, just have to wait on the managers tomorrow (now today) and wow the crap out of them. Good thing I have my Ph.D in BS.
I don't know it all yet but didn't when I started with Ecco either. I got this. I'm gonna boss this job like a bee-otch... in six months tops.
Kind of getting used to living here. At least I know how to get to the grocery store, get to work and get to my brother's house. I still need GPS to get to our son's house about twenty miles away but at least making baby steps.
It's crazy but is like living in the same neighborhood in a different state. Back in Newnan I had my handy next door husband, Ron on one side to help me with all kind of stuff... here I have my handy next door boy toy, Justin. He and his girlfriend, both really nice and in their late twenties. I've already borrowed his push mower to cut our yards and seems to be pretty handy, always working on projects so look forward to our going steady while living here. On the other side we have snobs who have yet to wave or smile... just like back home! the one time they did come over was to ask Massey to move her car from in front of their house. For Pete's sake, we were still moving in!
Back home we also had our neighbor, Mr. "Slow"Lee. Retired military, up by four drinking Bud by eight and in bed by seven.Whenever I would cut my grass I would always cut theirs too, both are quite a bit older than me. He'd always lean over the bed of his truck smoking a cig watching me cut grass. Guess he's easily entertained. He watched everything and everybody and was our neighborhood self appointed watch dog.
Here, he lives across the street from us. We call him "Long"John. Tall dude who stands in his open garage all day, beer in hand while watching every one's every move. He has cameras mounted on every corner of his house and my boy toy tells me he often reviews the tapes. Another self appointed watch dog.
It's like I moved my entire life, neighbors included to Orlando with me.
Guess peeps are basically the same everywhere!
Tim left this morning for Ft Meyers and will be there until Friday night. Makes the house seem bigger with just two of us here. If I had to live here forever would go (more) nuts but only have eleven months to go and will start house hunting in about eight.
I'm off today and tomorrow and go live at work on Thursday working a banquet. I have to go in an hour early to wait on the managers as if they were guests to get the go ahead but think (hope) I'll do okay.
Tomorrow night Massey and I are meeting my brother Chris at Chroma for dinner, wanting to hear his take on the restaurant. I'm down to twenty bucks but Massey said she's treating. My money ($20) is on my sweet bro picking up the tab but told Massey I'd pay her back this weekend if not. They have me scheduled to work Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday so will be nice to be bringing in some money again.
I have also relentlessly battled the union from the ATL airport who took out over $500 in dues out of Massey's paychecks when she wasn't a member while working there and heard just this past week that are refunding (most of) the money to her.
Another thing is I left the keys to Massey's old car with a mechanic in Newnan when we moved and he has it fixed and ready to sell. I told him I'd split the money with him so have that (hopefully) coming too.
I'm looking at it this way. We used to be over ten grand deep in debt but are current now. Granted I have just twenty bucks left to my name but all the money I made and saved helped move us down here... and ain't cheap moving to another state. I gotta keep remembering the positive and let go of the negative although easier said than done.
I am a worrier by nature but slowly learning worry helps nothing but wrinkles and gray hair... doing helps, and doing just that!
I have a great new job with a great new place with absolutely great management and potential for financial gains, maybe even greater than my last gig.
Sometimes you have to believe in yourself even when you feel you don't.
I felt abandoned by my huge corporation employers at the airport and pretty much was. But the people I actually worked for, who cared about me came to my rescue and helped when I needed it most. My friends urged me on and my family has carried me through.
I may weigh ninety pounds soaking wet with a three piece corduroy suit with rocks in both pockets and platform shoes on but am a giant because I am loved.
I tried my best to pay a lot forward while rolling phat at the airport and has came back to me tenfold. In life you get what you give, all tied to the Golden Rule and one I try and live by. How can you expect people to love you if you don't love them first and often?
I was so depressed after finally getting here only to find out was suddenly unemployed and left hanging in the wind after three years of loyalty and hard work.
Then it happened.
It came back around.
I'm finally feeling okay. It took a minute (three weeks) but has also reminded me of the millions and millions who deal with depression on a daily basis. How awful for them that must be... to live in a mental cage they simply can't escape.
Once again... I'm one of the lucky ones. As for the unlucky ones, we need to address their problem and give them the support they need. I was freaked over not having a job for three weeks, they feel freaked just waking up every day.
For almost ten years I watched things falling apart. Then for over three years I watched them coming together.
Then I watched my husband flourish in his new job which meant I would have to quit my own wonderful one and move out of state. Once I moved my new (not so good) job fell apart before ever starting.
In hindsight it wasn't all that long but those three weeks without working or having a job felt devastating to me. I've been working since I was fourteen years' old and the more the better. Every job I've had has been full time and usually six days a week. It wasn't until I went to work at the airport that I dropped to five days... felt like working part time.
I was without a job or insurance and no longer living in our big tri-level house on an acre of land.
Suddenly we were living in a three bedroom rental house in another state where we could speak softly to each other from our bedrooms in a low voice and the dogs had a yard a tenth the size of their old one.
Don't get me wrong, our rental house is in a nice neighborhood, clean and freshly painted with all new tile flooring. It's a cracker box and so is the back yard but at least the dog's cracker box is fenced in.
The job (or lack of) was the kicker... and kicked me in the teeth, hard.
Then I got a job, and not just a job but a great job. Then it was back to square one. Training and learning the job. Obviously I don't adapt well to change and certainly not in the job area. I was a nervous wreck from day one of training but had hired me on the spot so felt (hoped) they at least had faith in me even though was currently lacking it in myself. It's been a massive amount to learn in a short period of time but have given it my all. All the other servers had gone through over two weeks of training before the restaurant opened. I finished my last training shift tonight...day six on the job which makes me even more nervous. Tonight was my lead shift where I waited on my trainer's tables as he observed and sometimes helped. You would have thought I had never waited tables before. I was scared shitless. Here I am a fifty six year old server who has been waiting tables for over thirty four years but felt like was the first time I'd ever picked up a tray. It took me over two hours to feel halfway somewhat comfortable speaking to the guests. I bombed a couple of times but scored big a couple of times. Lead shifts make me nervous because it's the trainer's paycheck I am in control of. I felt immediately better when one table left me (my trainer) a $50 tip on a $135 tab. That broke the ice for me.
Yes I'm going to be nervous at first (already am) but is because I care so much about what I do. I had one table who had a couple of issues and felt like crying but just threw up in my mouth a little bit instead. I apologized to my trainer who apologized to me saying to simply let it go, you can't please some people. The people left happy but I wanted them to leave feeling exhilarated.
I told my trainer was worried the managers might think I wasn't up to speed or up to the job or tell me I wasn't a good fit or maybe even let me go. I was mentally on the verge of tears.
Then he said this and immediately knew I would be okay. Not perfect from the jump but would be perfectly fine in the long run.
He told me after every one of my training shifts they (my trainers) had sat down with management and gone over how it went. He said my work ethic had been noticed from the first day and to put all my worries aside, management was behind and for me being part of their team.
Don't think I've ever been more relieved to hear something than when the doctor told me over two decades ago the last kid I birthed had ten fingers, ten toes and was healthy.
It's gonna take me a minute, it's gonna take me a few but I know me... I can do this. I told the GM on my very first interview which turned out to be the day he offered me a job:
"If I was as good a wife and a mother as am a server, I'd really have something going on."
I have the next two days off to get my story straight. I'm going with a written verbal spiel for each and every table which will memorize and repeat until feel comfortable enough to simply be myself.
I'm living in a tiny house in a town I don't know with no friends other than family, working in a restaurant I don't know.
You know what made me feel even better about this whole move?
Yesterday Massey and I drove to the beach (only forty minutes away) to study my massive amount of material with ocean waves soothing my soul.
We left around three or four and Massey said she would treat me to a late lunch. We chose a hole in the wall place, we wanted local. The food was amazing... fresh with everything house made.
I told our server it was all fabulous! He said to be sure and tell my friends. I laughed and told him I didn't have any friends here when he said "Yeah you do, you just don't know it yet."
Shout out to the laid back easy breezy really cool dude who made me realize...
And I will.
If you're ever in Cocoa Beach, stop into Cracker's Island Grille on A1A. You won't be dissapointed.
I snuck outside tonight at closing to take this picture. The place is really nice anyway but absolutely beautiful at night. Then I turned around and took this picture of the Beacon digital tower located right outside of the restaurant which image's are constantly changing. It's massive and taller than the four story parking garage behind it.
I simply couldn't have landed in a better place at a better time. To be included in something great just as it's starting and be a part of their team from the very first month is awesome.
I was still a little nervous when I went in tonight. They had a huge 5k going on which began and ended right in front of the restaurant. Hundreds, hundreds and hundreds of people where everywhere. They had a bounce house for kids, booths set up everywhere and most streets blocked off. The restaurant is located in a fifty acre health and life science cluster with numerous hospitals, research, sports and educational facilities. It's just in the beginning phases and lucky for me get to be a part of it all.
I worked with the most amazing server tonight. She was cute as a button, always upbeat, always on point and always on the move. We think a lot alike and have same ideas about what it takes to be a good server.
My nerves fell quickly to the wayside. It got busy quick and I was there to try and help best I (with my four days of knowledge) could. She actually let me take a table tonight, just a two top while she carefully watched from a distance.
Like they say "It's just like riding a bike"... but the bike I was on was brand new, had all kind of new fangled bells and whistles, no training wheels and had never ridden one quite that nice without someone at least holding onto the back seat to keep me upright.
I was a little wobbly at first and a bit timid but felt a huge sigh of relief when they left me (her) over a twenty percent tip.
I have so much more to learn (tons) but think I can do this job well now, with direction, correction not to mention dedication and educating myself.
Dang... When I earn my next medical degree after this training again can go yonder up the road a piece to one of them four fancy hospittles round the restaurant and see if reckon they need another surgeon.
I can cut a straight line with a steak knife like nobody's bidness!
I feel pretty ridiculous now about how depressed I let myself get, especially about losing a crappy job at a crappy steakhouse.
I just fininshed day four of training and feel more confident than ever that am exactly where I need to be. Not only is the place beautiful, food outstanding and management top notch...I'm coming onto the team in it's fourth week of operation and getting to help build something great.
It's slick and chic, it's eclectic and electric. It's first class all the way and my ticket was free of charge.
I've already made a couple of friends and hope the friendships grow just as I will as a server, being in an environment like this.
On day four have already learned so much from all the helpful people who have trained me, from back of the house to the bar to the front of the house. I still have so much to learn but learn it I will; not because I have to but because I want to.
They send you an email with your schedule and appears I have two more days of training then am on the floor. Couldn't be more perfect timing. I was worried would be two weeks but guess not!
Huge shout out of thanks for my brother pushing me about this particular place. When they didn't call me back immediately after applying online, he insisted I go by in person to introduce myself. I wasn't feeling confident but he kept calling me until I did...and got a job offer on the spot.
It takes me fifteen minutes to get to work, park go inside and clock in. That's a huge bonus compared to thirty minutes up the interstate, twelve dollar parking, shuttle ride to the terminal and going through security.
If you'd told me last week this time that would be this happy would have told you you're more nuts than I was (am).
I work another training shift tomorrow night, have Sunday off and go back on Monday for my last training shift. Unbelievably grateful for this opportunity and looking forward to years and years of service with this great group of folks. It has full benefits and 401k after a waiting period and can hardly wait. My oldest son, TJ worked for this group in Atlanta at Atlas located in the St. Regis in Buckhead and said he'd never had a better corporate experience. I look forward to having the same.
The food I've eaten has been absoultely delicious and luckily have two more training shifts to try even more.
I felt like having to quit my job at the airport was something bad but wasn't. It defined me as a server worth employing. I felt destroyed but it strengthened me to go out and shoot for the moon.
