Almost Felt Like MY Birthday

Yesterday was Barb's birthday...my boss and the owner of the wonderful restaurant I work for. Her husband "Thinks" he is the boss but we all know better (I think deep down he knows too.) She took a much deserved two days off and flew home to Maryland to spend time with her oldest son. Barb has three sons...the oldest two are from a previous marriage but Len has been their step dad since they were little boys. Much like me with TJ...I have been his step mom since he was four and have known and loved him him longer than I have either one of my other two kids..."Blood is just a relative term" (pun intended.) My husband made the comment the other day how Barb and Len are living the American Dream, and they really are. They work long hard hours day after day after day. The reward is they own their own business , are their own boss and don't have anyone telling them how to do things or breathe down their neck from a corporate office. Barb is a piece of work herself. She can pinch a penny until it screams. She watches every dime and nickel coming in and going out of that restaurant (I think that may be why Len loves her so much.) When you first start working there she'll let you make yourself a drink in one of the Styrofoam 'to go' cups. After that shift you have to bring your own cup in to drink out of while you work or give her a quarter for another Styrofoam cup..."They don't grow on trees" she'll say. She recycles everything in the place...even the scraps. She has a bucket by the dish pit she makes everyone put leftover food in. She takes the left over bread home to feed birds in her back yard. The seafood left overs are for her cat and the strays that have heard about her through the "CatVine." Her house backs up to woods and she feeds the deer and foxes the meat scraps. She says "Mr. Squirrel especially loves french fries." I was out of my mind busy at lunch last week when I dashed into the dish area to dump my dishes and didn't put anything in her bucket. She snatched the last dish from my hand and sternly said "You're going to HAVE to do a better job of remembering my little animal friends!" (I am NOT making this up) She was gone for two days and no one set up her bucket or saved any scraps at all. We all laughed to Len the second day that he would probably go to sleep and hear the animals pounding at his back door demanding their dinner...or get on his Triumph in the morning to come to work and be attacked like Tippy Hedron in "The Birds." She saves the coffee grounds and tea grounds for her garden. Len says she is a borderline "Hoarder." We all agreed at work today. If you need something and ask Barb if she knows where you can find one ...it can be the most random item in the world, she will say "I have four of them, I'll bring them in and you can choose one." This morning when I went into work there was a man at the front door (we weren't even open yet.) Len started flipping ..."There's someone at the front door and no one to let him in. Come on, Let's GO!" Len would let people in at 8:00 in the morning if they were there to buy something. (that's why Barb loves HIM.) It was a delivery man from the florist. He brought in a huge bouquet of flowers and placed them on the bar. It had a card for Barb on it, Len came pouncing out of the kitchen to see if we had turned away a customer and saw the flowers. He read the card...it said "Happy Birthday from your first born." Len took a pen and drew a line through "First born" and wrote "Second husband." He even went the extra mile and got Barb the perfect present! He was in the office and showed me her present... a birthday card. He hadn't written anything on the envelope and said he didn't write anything or sign it on the inside. He just put a lottery ticket in it. She could hit it big...and if she didn't, had a card that she could recycle and use for someone else! Dang, I love this dysfunctional and absolutely wonderful family that I work for! Went back into work tonight and banked off of two tables. One was a family of six there to celebrate a birthday as well. They loved my "Performance" and gave me a $45 tip. A couple that read my blog came in to eat with me as well. I told them "If you mention my blog you get a free app or a free dessert." They went with the appetizer. Len was on the line cooking when I said "Two of my blog readers are here, it's their first time." Len said "Ask them what took so long?" I decided to buy them a dessert but Len took that off the bill as well. Seems like Len knows about Karma too! They spoiled me rotten with a 100% tip. Now I can pay on Massey's Guard dues again and sock away some for the house note. My husband is still stressing...Let 'em (makes him help me out around the house more.) I KNOW that all will be okay. I have a great job that I love. He has a job he hates but a job that can eventually turn into one WORTH hating...sucks to be him.(Thanks baby) At least I married a man willing to do anything for his family. He's just happy to be working. He may not be happy doing it but is happy that he once again has the chance to hate a JOB! This past weekend we celebrated my Aunt's 80th birthday as well at Mama Lucia's. All the female cousins met to eat ... talk about old times, current times and relive our childhood memories over a bottle of wonderful red wine Barb picked out. Len made an awesome cannoli cake and it reminded me once again how lucky I am to come from such a wonderful family. Today reminded me that family extends way past blood lines. I am lucky. I am lucky to be saying that I am lucky! I am lucky to still be here. I am lucky family, friends and strangers love me. I am lucky that I am almost to the point of being able to BEGIN paying people back. I am lucky they have all waited patiently for that to happen. I AM LUCKY.....no, I AM BLESSED! Til next time........COTTON!

How Old AM I ? It's Starting to Scare Me

Tonight at work Barbara (the owner) was talking to our young bartender and I happened to walk by. She asked if I remembered Green Stamps and I immediately asked "S&H Green Stamps"? Barbara told Anna, the bartender "Back in the olden days we had Green Stamps." I told Barbara it wasn't the "Olden Days...it was my CHILDHOOD!" The bartender asked "Was it kind of like reward points?" JEEZ..I AM getting OLD!

When I was a kid S&H Green Stamps were a big, big deal. They gave them away with purchases at the A&P grocery store my Mother shopped at and my grandmother saved them for us as well. Actually my grandmother even saved us her Raleigh cigarette stamps too. I'm not sure if we ever got anything with the "Smokes Stamps" but she sure saved us a lot of them!

S&H was where I used to get all my Christmas presents. There was actually a redemption store on Sylvan Road we used to frequent.

My grandfather smoked King Edward cigars and gave us his empty boxes to save our S&H Green Stamps in.

Of course this was back when my Mother would drive me to the store and at the age of six send me inside the store to purchase her a carton of Kool Milds.

It bothered me that Barbara called it "The Olden Days."

Then I realized that to kids in their early twenties...those WERE the olden days! I guess being over fifty makes me an antique!

I picked Massey up from school today and told her Elizabeth Taylor died. Massey said "Who's that"? I told her it was the actress from Giant and Cleopatra to which she replied "Never seen emt".

Guess what movies I am renting for us to watch when she gets home from competition this weekend?

When I was a kid you went to the gas station and never even got out of the car. They would clean your windshield and some even vacuum out your car while the gas was pumping . They checked under your hood and if you were at a Gulf station gave you free dishes with a fill up. I still have some of the white octagon shaped plates and bowls that my Mother got filling up our fake wood paneled station wagon.

Some laundry detergents even had dishes inside or a dish towel attached to the side of the box...Barb reminded me of that one!

Seems like we got a LOT more for a lot LESS when I was a kid.

Massey leaves for Nashville tomorrow for a Guard competition. She has her ipod packed along with her cell phone and both chargers.

When I was a kid I had a string with a can on each end that ran from my bedroom window to the window of my friend that lived next door.

I am not kidding!

Of course we could have just hollered to each other but it was so cool to have our own little system of communication.

Cans on a string and a transistor radio were all you needed to stay in touch with the world when I was a kid.

Guess I AM getting old!

How much string would it take from Newnan to Nashville and how big would the cans have to be ?

Guess it's a good thing I paid the cell phone bill.

Kids are so spoiled these days. When I was a kid we thought you were spoiled if your house had a push button phone instead of rotary dial (which WE didn't until the seventies) or if your car had seat belts...which we didn't have either, but survived. When we got a car with air conditioning I thought we must be millionaires or at least really rich.

I grew up in a blue collar family.

I grew up in a house filled with love, laughter and clothes all sewn by my Mother. Thank God she was an excellent seamstress... she could sew clothes that looked just like they had come off the rack at "Lerner's" .

What scares me even more is what the FUTURE holds and how much THAT is going to cost!

Til next time..."Cave Woman Cotton"

The Best Worst Day of My Life

Today is the one year anniversary of me starting at the restaurant. It was the best worst day of my life. I was so deeply depressed after being fired from a job I had been at for over 13 years and was totally ashamed to even HAVE to seek employment. I wallowed in pity for a week , hoping my old place would call me back to work.



It didn't happen so I sucked in my pride and went to Mama Lucia's to talk to Barb about being hired. When I walked into the restaurant she said "I was looking for you last week." I told her I was looking for myself last week too.



That conversation was the beginning of the greatest thing to ever happen to me. My old restaurant was good to me for many years but when we fell on hard times and needed understanding and support... they turned a deaf corporate ear and kicked me out.



At the time I thought it was the worst thing to ever happen to me. I now know it was a blessing in disguise.



It has shown me what a blessing it is to be loved and cared about...loved and cared about by family, friends, employers and even strangers.



We were totally carried over the raging waters of the abyss and plopped on the other side.



The gratitude we have for all the love and generosity can never be fully repaid but will be forever remembered and continually paid forward.

We are still struggling for air but breathing easier every month. It's been a tremendous strain on my marriage but the fact that I am STILL married says a lot about our commitment to each other and to this marriage.

My brother and sister became my Father and Mother. Friends turned into sisters and brothers. Strangers turned into wonderful friends. My new employers became my champions...urging me on and helping me every step of the way.

The owner's are a family that I admire tremendously. They are living the American dream. They own their own business. It takes sweat, working long hours and endless dedication, but it is THEIRS.

They have welcomed me into their restaurant family and helped me out time and time again...LITERALLY.

I came into their company a broken person with no self confidence left. They have let me believe in myself again and have always believed in me.

The Guard Massey is on has been my "Perk."

Defined ... "To make or become cheerful or lively."

Crazy ...but being a part of HER Guard world has given me much satisfaction in MY world and they have all welcomed me knowing I owe money (Who don't I owe?) but as long as I contribute my limited time treat me as an equal.

I actually paid the Guard some money last night and it felt GREAT!

Being with them is my "Happy Time."

Tim is slowly moving up in his company...I am in a great place, we are destined to make a come back!

Today is the anniversary of "The Greatest Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Me."

I call that a "WIN."

I try to not be bitter about my last employer...but am.

As I ponder and think about all that has happened and all the good things that have occurred since my life spiraled out of control a year ago...I feel like sending my old company a Thank You note.

"Dear corporate...YOUR LOSS."

Til next time...Contented Cotton

Super Moon, Super Weekend...Super Tired !

Just walked in the door from work . Went outside and took this picture of the "Super Moon."

What a weekend! Massey had to be at the school yesterday morning by 8AM for her big home competition. I worked ten shifts this past week so I could take all day Saturday and half a day Sunday off to finally be a "Guard Mom."

Not sure I did that great of a job but I sure had a great time trying!

I went by the restaurant and picked up 3 huge pans of baked Ziti and headed to the school. We hosted a competition for almost 40 Guards ...felt like 400.

Massey felt horrible with allergy problems and I assured her she only had to feel good for 4 minutes and 52 seconds, the length of their performance. Sweet "Nurse Becky" pumped her with Motrin and I went to help the other parents.

By noon it was Summertime and I was helping the "Fry Guy" outside of the gym with his six vats of propane heated 450 degree "Cardio-Oil."

That funnel cake fame will be the death of me!

I had worn blue jeans and felt like I was melting in the already 80 degree heat. I told Chris, who has his degree in "Fryology" and a couple of others that I would have worn shorts had I shaved my legs in the last six months, but it helped hold my thermal socks up during this brutal past winter. Between my hot flashes , outside temp and bubbling grease vats I said "Excuse me...I'll be right back" and screamed back to the house . Shaved my legs in two minutes and was back at the school in under 25 minutes wearing much needed shorts.

I cannot say enough nice things about the parents, aunts, uncles, grand parents and friends of this Guard family. Students that aren't even on the Guard come out and help. We all have one thing in common...We Love This Guard!

Tried to earn my "Guard Wings" this weekend...I think I left Sunday afternoon with a half of one wing so at least I can fly in a really small circle ... "A bird can't fly on one wing" but it can flap around a lot and make a Lot of noise.

That's Me!

If I had to describe my job definition this weekend it would be "Floating Go-Fer/ Suckered Chaperone."

I flitted around on my little half wing from concessions to hospitality room to fryers to sitting in the upper bleachers telling idiots to sit down during performances so the judges could see and critique the Guards.

Our JV performed and came in first...Varsity performed and came in second. Massey was upset she had a drop...Guards always are.

No one likes to drop but sometimes it just happens .

Our family suffered a HUGE drop a while back and Tim and I didn't like it one bit either. Sometimes a drop makes you realize how you take "not dropping" for granted and need to be prepared to try even harder when you do . Keep on giving it your all...and odds are you will succeed.

The competition ended around 9:00 and the second phase of my job responsibilities started.

Talk about a "Drop!"

I was the overnight chaperone for our Guard and we were all sleeping on the luxurious floor of the band room. Nothing says relaxation more after a long day than sleeping with 20 teens, a Wii Dance and other Guards staying close enough by to drop in.
I started off with two missing...found them and four hours later wished I was missing a heck of a lot more of them. (Totally kidding..."Kinda")
Cut the dance party off around 1Am. I am a night owl anyway so it didn't bother me.
What bothered me was when I tried to turn the lights off...they wouldn't turn off.
I wondered why earlier all the Guard that wanted to sleep dragged air mattresses into closets, the music library, the brass room, the Guard room ANY room but the band room.
One of Massey's BFF's had her mattress right next to mine and when she went to sleep had two blankets. One she wrapped totally around her head and eyes like she was being led to a guillotine or firing squad and the other she covered up with. I was thinking what kind of condition she could have to need to sleep that way when I discovered it was she was "Smarter than the average Bear."
I told the kids to turn the lights off and they replied "They ARE ."
WHAT??
Every other light or so was on. "SECURITY LIGHTS"
I tried every light switch..I tried every wall..I tried every THING. My air mattress was directly under one of the florescent lights. I felt like I was trying to go to sleep under interrogation. I finally took a tank top and tied it around my head and eyes.
My legs cramp sometimes ...heck, I'm almost fifty one and am falling apart all over the place. I finally drifted off after 2AM but was awakened hearing what sounded like a bunch of AFLAC ducks having a get together. It wasn't in the band room but close by enough to keep my blindfolded old woman self awake.
I finally decided it was the Guard next door and went in the hall to go to their room and give them a small piece of my small mind.
I opened the door to the hall and there sat two of OUR Guards with three of the Guards from the next classroom all sitting around yakking it up and keeping my old self awake.
I flipped. I took the tank top off my face and shouted "GET OUT OF THE HALL AND GO TO BED...We're trying to get some sleep here!" I guess I just meant me, because the rest of the Guard was sawing logs like no body's business...maybe That's what really woke me!
I went back to my mattress and tied back on my "Hanging Mask." They all skittered back to their respective rooms and I finally fell asleep.
At least we all survived .
We woke up Sunday and started it all over again. I went home and showered and went back for round three.
I flitted around again on a half a wing and helped out where they needed me.
My oldest son drove down to see Massey perform and didn't know what to expect. He has never seen a Guard competition. After they performed he said "That actually gave me chills."
Yes...they are THAT good.

Massey's Guard won first place!

It's a different world, this Guard world. I have missed a lot of it but this weekend gave it my best shot at "Being a Guard Mom."
Massey's Guard...ECHS Guard and the entire Guard family give me relief and satisfaction when I am with them. They make me laugh and I think I make them laugh. It is a win/win situation for me and definitely for Massey.

Next week is Nashville. I would kill to go but unless I hit the lottery it will have to wait til next year.

They give me motivation. Not just the Guard but the entire Guard family. They have helped my girl time after time, which has helped ME time after time.

My new motto is "GET IT !"

What a great lesson to learn...success and moving forward in life isn't going to come knocking at your door... you have to "GET IT."

So I'm a sucker as a chaperone...but now I "GET IT."

Better late than never...

Til next time "Gettin' it" COTTON

I Hope the "Sleepover" Involves Some Sleep

I'm not sure what I have gotten myself into...

Of course that is what I have said to myself on a daily basis for the past year and so far I have made it!

I crammed ten shifts into six days and have a day and a half off for Massey's home competition at her high school. I bullied my boss into donating his wonderful baked Ziti for the hospitality room. That's where all the Guard coaches sit around and get fat eating tons of food and cramming down brownies like it's their last meal on death row the day of execution.

I got off from my lunch shift in time to pick Massey up, go by and pay on Tim's car in the shop, buy her a Happy Meal and dump her off back at the school to help set up for the big competition this weekend. Stopped by my house (that looks like a commercial for DFACS removing children from an unfit home) and sat on my couch for ten minutes with my head back and eyes closed...it was the sweetest ten minutes of my life.

Screamed back to work in my "Next door husband's son's car" he graciously loaned me for the weekend and started my tenth shift. I am not sure if I still have feet on the end of my toothpick legs but managed to make it through another shift.

Screamed back to the high school in my loaned ride after my eleven hour shift (or maybe it was ME screaming) and picked Massey up.

I am not only working the competition tomorrow and Sunday but chaperoning the Guard while they spend the night on the luxurious floor of a classroom at the school.

I've always wanted to be a chaperone...well looks like I got my wish!

I've worked over a month straight with two days off and both days were spent at competitions...not really days off.

I have been SO sucked into this Guard world and crazy as it sounds almost look forward to being the chaperone.

We'll start out with Benadryl cocktails and work our way through "Truth or Dare."

Being with teens is invigorating and frustrating but always motivating. These kids have worked their butts off and are all "Champs" in my book. I am sure they will knock it out of the park this weekend and feel lucky that I will finally be there to see and experience it all.

For once I will be the one sending the texts. For once I will be the Mom that is there. For once I will be the Mom they hug first.

It will be my first sleep over in over forty years. Not expecting to get much sleep but excited to be an actual part of the Guard.

Finally earning that "Guard Mom" shirt I never bought.

I think earning it is more important than owning it!

Massey said I need to bring big marsh mellows...I think I need to bring a big pillow to put over my head.

This should be interesting and if nothing else...a GREAT blog!

Til next time...COTTON/Guard Mom (has a nice ring to it)

Excuse Me...My Age is Showing...

I haven't been on a plane or into the airport in over 18 years.

Jeez, times have changed. Massey flew into Hartsfield tonight after her Aunts that spoil her even" rottener" than I do put her in a first class seat and sent her home to me.

I left with plenty of time (I thought.) Her flight landed at 9:23. I left the house as soon as she sent me a text saying she had boarded.

I have a huge, so far unidentified oil leak in my car and currently put more oil in my car than gas. I stopped by Auto zone on the way home from work and dumped a quart in. Got home and added 2 more. Left for the airport and decided to pick up one more quart (just in case.)

I drive with the radio off so I can hear if my engine makes any funny noises or screams "Mommy...STOP!"

Fixing it is on my list of things to do but as long as I keep dumping oil in it and keep plenty of cat litter to sop up the "BP oil disaster on my garage floor" and drive with my fingers crossed I feel okay.

Made it to the airport with thirty minutes to spare. Found a parking spot close to the terminal and was amazed at how much the airport had grown since 1992.

I was bounced from one kiosk to the next. Finally I looked for the friendliest looking person wearing the right uniform and said "My daughter's plane just landed and I have no idea where to go."

I entered the security check point and realized why Massey's Aunt had said "Just don't bring your guns or knives."

I thought she was being funny but when I tried to walk through they instructed me to take off my belt, my jacket, shoes and empty all my pockets. Thank the Lord I left all my Crack at the house on the kitchen table next to my UZI and grenades (I like to call them centerpieces.)

I was devastated when they mentioned shoes.

When I got up this morning...day fifteen of my work week I pulled on the first pair of socks I found. They didn't match, except for the hole in both big toes.

Thank God the man in front of me was busy with his three full plastic tubs of crap to be scanned and the woman behind me was Asian and spoke no English at all.

I pulled my socks forward and tucked them under my toes .

Now I know why my Mother always said to wear clean underwear in case you were in an accident.

By this time Massey was texting she had landed and pulled up to the gate. I text her back..."Stay there."

I am a very paranoid Mom...that is what makes me a good Mom!

I could not imagine letting her go from concourse C to baggage claim alone...and her Aunt's told her just the same. "Wait for your Mom."

I have no desire to end up on Nancy Grace having her helmet non moving hair begging someone to bring my kid back.

The train stopped moving for a good five minutes and I was only at concourse B. I waited as others got off..they must have known a quicker route but I didn't.

As the train finally started again I got another text. I told her I was minutes away and NOT TO MOVE.

I half ran down concourse C looking for gate C-39.

I was at gate 35 when I spotted that bright purple ECHS letterman jacket with a cell phone stuck to her ear.

It was almost a Hallmark moment.

It's only been 3 days but when you are as close as Massey and I are...it is a reunion.

The hug she gave me made me forget that an unknown man and an Asian woman had both seen that I not only had holes in both my socks but hadn't painted my toe nails either.

"Screw them" My girl is home!

So I don't fly much... Sue me.

At least I can find my girl in the busiest airport in the world.

She missed school today, but she missed Hawaii with the band this past summer. We'll call it even.

A great quote I read...

"We are all fixing what is broken. It is the task of a lifetime. We'll leave much unfinished for the next generation."

Massey is home.

Let's just start from there.

She had an incredible weekend with the Guard and her Aunts standing in for me... and survived all my paranoia.

I have said before..."If Life gets to be too much, maybe you aren't looking hard enough for the good parts."

That girl, my girl, from gates away made my heart sing.

They tend to kill us...all kids do.

I wish I could go back and give both my parents a GOLD medal...I am just working my way up to the Bronze status.

Going to buy new socks tomorrow...COTTON

FIRST PLACE !!!

Went into work tonight a little down.










Massey's guard was competing at regional in Florida and I was competing in my 14th day in a row at work.

I've been sucked into this world of hers and have found my youth again.





It happened at just the right time in my life.

I have had a year, to remember to try to forget!

Not really...I had a year that God, family friends and strangers will make me remember to never forget.

All thrown in the mix was this silly Color Guard...so I thought.

Practices are often and often long! Besides the dues there is always something...tights, shoes wind suits and Geisha make up.

Their last show that I worked was inspiring. They didn't come in first but in my opinion put on a first place show.

This weekend she had a regional in Florida that I couldn't attend. Crazy as I already am, I was crazy sick that I couldn't go.

Two dear relatives drove almost two hours to stand in for me....sit for me...hang around for me and be there for me when they won FIRST PLACE! They were there to hug Massey's neck and they were there for ME.

They were there to witness what I have...the hardest working bunch of teens pushed beyond what they feel are ridiculous limits and then "BAM"... rewarded with the satisfying feeling of victory and success.

Does it sound even crazier that a fifty year old woman is a nervous wreck all night at work waiting to hear how a "Guard" did?

Guess what?

Call me crazy but call ECHS Winter Guard record setting first place winners!!

It's all good...it really is.

When the bad seems to take over your life...it just means you aren't looking hard enough for the good.

Call me "Guard Mom Gone Broke" It's better than "Guard Mom Gives Up."

Sure makes that double shift tomorrow easier to take when you know how happy your kid is and how incredibly happy it makes you feel to know they are tickled pink!

So proud I could pop.

So tired I am pooped.

Working just six more days and I am spending my day off with the "Guard." Ironic, but I am looking forward to it.

Kids grow up in the blink of an eye. I'm gonna "In-Joy" my blink!

With a Lump in My Throat ... Off She Goes

It's been a long week. I can't even remember my last day off.







The thing about being a server is that if you don't work you don't get a paycheck. We are so close to turning the corner. Granted I feel like we are turning the corner in a 1965 Ford Galaxy station wagon with bald tires in dire need of a tune up...but we are creeping forward and I am grateful...especially for everyone that has thrown us some love into the back of it , helped push when it conked out totally and jumped us off to continue on our road to recovery.

Love is a mighty, mighty tool and the most important one in my toolbox.

Massey has her first big competition out of state this weekend. I picked up a shift yesterday for a girl and picked up tonight for another server...scraping together the money to send her on her way with everything she needed. Her air mattress (of course) had a hole in it. Note to self...never leave it inflated around three big dogs...it looks like a HUGE dog bed to them and is NOT "Claws Friendly."

Of course if I had thought of it earlier I could have borrowed one...but she needs one anyway, they sleep in high school classrooms on these road trips and I worked for the school system for seven years..."Ya don't want your kid sleeping on the floor of a public school without at LEAST a ten inch buffer."

Then of course she needed foundation and liquid black eye liner for their "Geisha" type makeup routine....at least it looks like that to me.

I'll have to hand it to "Lil' General"...it does make their eyes "pop" from a distance and all look uniformly pretty.

It's a strange world, this "Guard World."

I never even knew it existed until 3 years ago and have been totally entranced by it.

I think I like it more than Massey does sometimes.

That's because it gets tough.


It gets tense, sometimes dramatic and often overwhelming; but when you stick with it and give it your all, can also be tremendously rewarding and a rush... from having successfully done your best .

What greater lesson can you teach your kid than what life will be like and how to live it?
Come to think of it...they should probably DOUBLE the dues.
What these kids are learning is priceless.

Life isn't always roses but if you can put up with the thorns it sure smells pretty.

I can't go with her this weekend and after my bonding experience at the competition I worked, had a lump in my throat tonight as I helped the prop guys load the last of the sliding boards into the trailer for the trip to Pensacola. ARRGGHH....

I haven't really felt a true part of the guard until this past year.

Summer band camp started it, and sucked me in from the jump on a sweltering summer afternoon surrounded by 120 degree asphalt.

Yeah I still owe them a ton of money, but have helped raise some and volunteered every time I possibly could.

When my Ford Galaxy pulls into the station of success...and I KNOW it will, they will get every penny and then some.

I'm not even charging them an entertainment fee when I DO work with them!! (that even made ME chuckle.)

I used to worry that this Guard thing was an unnecessary expense.

Since working with these teens and especially working with dedicated parents and volunteers, it has taught me once again what life is all about.

There are no guarantees. Sometimes you feel like you can't hang on but if you DO, may often feel like you never want to let go.

She leaves without me tomorrow...I am sad.





I love my girl (my little Money Pit.)







I love all these folks I have met and friends I have made while doing "The Guard Experiment."

They all seem to like me (Tim's all flustered about THAT one and encourages me to hang out with them as much as possible :)

When I left the school tonight and hugged a couple of the prop guys that put up with my lame help , I got a huge lump in my throat.

It wasn't the throw up feeling I felt when under the gun at the last show or feeling like a complete nervous wreck trying to help.

It was knowing I wouldn't be going with them and experiencing that whole feeling over again.

I WANT to be a part of this team and have "In-Joyed" them letting me be a sub.

Next year I'll take my act on the road WITH them!!
Tim will probably pay THEM dues to just take me with them.

I don't have to work til late tomorrow so I'll go to the high school to see them all off. I already told one guy tonight to stuff me in the glove compartment and take me with them.

It's hard seeing your child leave on a trip or adventure without you. They take a little piece of your heart with them when they are out of your touch and sight.

She'll be surrounded by friends and parents that love her. She'll be fine.
It's me I'm worried about.

I'm playing the lottery after work tomorrow night. If I hit...there will be a private plane to bring all of them back on Sunday...slides, swings and even Teddy!

It's hard not going with her but great to know I can send her.

CATCH 22.

At least I can work like a busy beaver this weekend and not have to worry... I'll be there NEXT year.
Tim will probably even petition for them to schedule MORE out of state competitions....even further away. God bless him, it ain't easy being married to me.

Good Luck Massey...Good Luck ECHS...

Til Next Time...COTTON

Country Living At Its Finest...Seriously?

I spent the day selling and picking up ads for Massey's Winter guard program for the big competition at the high school this month. This is a huge fundraiser and a chance for us to make some much needed money to fund a program that has been left out of the county budget.

I have a personal obligation to do my part especially with all the kindness and latitude the Guard has shown our family. They have been there with Massey when I couldn't. They have hugged and kissed her when she was down and I was at work. They have picked her up for practice and brought her home again when I was at work. It is a TRUE family we are blessed to be part of and I like to think I do my part when I can.

This is something that I CAN do and don't mind at all.

I put my PHD in BS to use and get sponsors for this event and have been pretty successful.

My bosses bought an ad, a dear friend from high school bought one even my favorite mechanic bought one. I sold one to a Mother/Daughter team that owns a hair salon...it helped that the daughter is engaged to the son of the owner of the restaurant I work for and her Mom knew my cousin who recently passed away.

Gotta work those connections when you have them!

Last night at work I had a table that I knew from my Western Sizzler days...their family owns a local gardening nursery and after two bottles of Malbec they happily agreed to buy an ad as well. They would have done it anyway...they are wonderful people. They told me to come by any of their three locations the next day and pick up a check.

The location nearest to me is off a rural highway that leads to the interstate. It's a road you take if you are headed to the County Fair or Destin...otherwise I never travel that road.

I picked Massey up from school and told her we needed to go pick up an ad . We cruised down the county highway. It goes from rural to PO Dunk in no time. The only thing on this stretch of road is a gas station that is completely filled with Latinos every morning looking for day labor and a couple of rental places, face lifted by the recent addition of a Dollar General.

We were cruising down the road when we passed a small house...not really a house but a small trailer (wheels still attached) with a front yard the size of a large chicken coop. They had a chain link fence around the front yard with two dog kennels sitting in it.

Number one this yard was TOO small for two dogs much less for what we witnessed. As we passed by Massey said "Did you see that horse in that tiny front yard?"

I almost wrecked the car...in a front yard the size of a hen house stood a horse surrounded by a chain link fence. If the horse wanted to exercise he could take one step forward and one step back. I hope he knows how to "Repeat the Process."

I am sure the horse would jump the fence and run for freedom if it had enough room to get a running start...which it certainly didn't.

We went on to the garden store to pick up the check. I remarked to one of the men working there "Have you seen that horse up the road?" The first guy said "My wife brought me to work this morning and said she saw a horse in that yard and I looked in her purse for a liquor bottle...the yard was smaller than my pick up truck." The other man said he had seen it too.

What in Heaven's name are people doing having a large farm animal living in a fenced in area the size of a small garage?

I guess their little girl wakes up every morning and looks out the window of their small trailer and says "There's my Horsey, squeezed in by the dog kennels."

I told Massey I was going back tomorrow to take a picture. I think this beats Charlie Sheen's antics...at least he has a huge house to be an idiot in and has CHOSEN his option.

This poor huge creature is living in a space so small that it has no room to argue the point...literally!

I treat my three mutts like royalty. Granted they haven't had shots in two years but they are loved, fed and have an acre fenced in to roam and run.

I feel like bringing that horse home with me...and don't think Tim would even notice. The pups, not so much.

If it's still there tomorrow I am taking a picture; I thought WE had it rough but at least we are trying to do something about it.

Who's gonna help this horse?

I may just buy this horse an ad in Massey's program:

"Free horse to anybody that has a yard larger than a garage."

Til next time...

"Just Saying" COTTON

Everybody Knows an "Eddie Haskell"

If you read my blog you know I assign everyone (almost everyone) at work a nickname.

We have a new guy that is young...REALLY young especially compared to me.

We have a running joke at work...the last few people we have hired that just haven't fit in had first names beginning with the same initial. It's a JINX I tell you!

This one's no exception.

I CAN say that when the first JINX started the bar was really low. We raised the bar with every JINX we have hired since and now have it about thigh- high . Of course that's still too low for me to Limbo under so we need to keep searching for that bar raising JINX .

I think everyone knows an "Eddie."

It's the guy that works harder at getting out of work than it would take to DO the work.

It's the guy that thinks he's cool when every one else knows he is a doofus.

He's always likable enough but just when you let your guard down and try to cut them a break they do something to remind you why you gave them the nick name "Eddie."

Sometimes it's nice having an "Eddie" around.

Number One: You don't have to try as hard to look good at work.

Number Two: It gives you something to laugh at especially on the really tough shifts...that's when they generally screw up even more and STILL try to act like they really have it going on and YOU'RE the dummy.

Number Three: I guess when I was really young I was an "Eddie." I hope I wasn't quite as lazy or shiftless...actually I KNOW I wasn't.

All in all I dismiss most of it to being a kid.

I think ALL people are kids until they are approaching their thirties. Some are slow learners and remain kids late into their thirties, and have even known some people to be ridiculously inept and unreliable well into their fifties.

"Stupidity doesn't discriminate."

It's like getting in line behind someone at the Cable company, bank or Verizon store that wants to argue every point, ask every question and wage every battle in the little window of time they have face to face with a company representative (that obviously couldn't care less and is in absolutely no position to change or do anything about your complaints and grievances.)

But they will still stand there and waste MY time and everyone else's.

When will they learn?

When will they realize no matter what bank, cable or cell phone provider you choose...they're gonna put the screws to you. You signed on the bottom line, you gave them your social security number, you waited in line so long to sign up for service your eyes are too tired to read the tiny print, you sign and hope you've signed with the "Least Evil."

There should be two lines in these offices. One line should be "Compliant" and the other "Combative."

If you are retired with nothing to do or extremely rich, get in the "Combative" line...and "Good Luck."

If you are like me and have five minutes to pay a bill get back in the car and be at the high school before your daughter starts calling and sending you texts and hope you don't run out of gas on the way back to work because you don't have time to stop...get in the "Compliant" line.

I can't wait to be old and combative...geez, I just hope I get to be old. The rest will all be gravy.

Don't get me wrong, if you are flat out wrong I will press the point and usually win the battle.

If you are a company that didn't exist or wasn't even a factor in life forty years ago (cable, cellular, Internet) I know you are gouging me.

I grew up perfectly healthy and happy without Internet, cable and a cell phone.

I know it can be done...can somebody tell my KIDS that?

What does it mean when you are living in the "Jetson" years and working with an "Eddie Haskell?'

I am "Lost in Space."

My universes are colliding...next thing I know Fred Flintstone will be knocking at my door telling me Tim didn't pay his "Water Buffalo" dues and Wilma was "tweeting" about him being a "Dead Beat Buffalo."

Til next time... COTTON

Just a Glimpse...

Here's a glimpse of me "Resting my eyes" between shifts at the last competition...and what a glorious rest it was! I never knew how comfy a hard plastic bleacher in a gym could be even with Teddy the Tyrant booming out criticism and corrections. He sounded like a Sugar Plum to me and sent me into a thirty minute, much needed sweet coma. I chose the behind shot...the other one looked like an ninety year old woman sleeping in a hall of the nursing home unattended.



At least I still have a twenty year old "Booty."











The uniforms were ready for this past competition and looked FANTASTIC. They go great with the theme of the show.














Of course I chose Massey for the close up...at least I know her mom doesn't mind me using her close up in my blog!






I used a few other kids to show the enormous size of the sets.





Behind the guard to the left is a pic of ONE of the four swing sets that are put up and taken down before and after each show in under two minutes.










In the background of this shot you can see three of the FIVE slides that are put together and taken down again as well.













It's incredible what these Props people do. It's also incredible that they were desperate enough to let me be part of the team!



It's even more incredible what this team of up and coming young adults can do when they put aside peer pressure, pettiness and pride.



They are a championship team, have been called that by judges and will always be champions to me.



When you are fifty like me and had some recent hard knocks, it's very comforting to still be able to remember AND experience those wonderful ( back then from dramatic to horrific) years and know that in a few more short ones YOUR child will realize ...in the blink of an eye, high school will be over and end up being a tiny blip on the huge radar of life .



I am so lucky to have this wonderful connection to youth and be able to enjoy it with not only my daughter but 75 of her...now MY closest friends.

Those four years did end up to be a blip...but in hindsight, it was a pretty FUN blip.



Where can I sign up for a "Do Over?"



Til next Time....COTTON

PS As always click on the pics for larger view...except for my Butt shot.

Car Tag the COTTON Way...It Still Counts !

It seems that someone spotted me getting my car tag today!

Every year I wait til the last minute and always seem to have some excuse ...this year was no different (well maybe a little.)

Let's start from the beginning. Last June, Massey and I were headed for a weekend getaway at friend's house in Destin. I scraped enough together to get a set of tires on my car and borrowed my brother's gas card for the trip...everything else was paid for, my friends were taking care of us...just like they always do.

We got five miles from Newnan and my check engine light came on immediately followed by a noise I had never heard my car make, followed by the "STOP ENGINE" light. Not a good sign.

We putzed back to the mechanic who had put on my tires and asked if he would take a look at my car. After putting on a set of points and plugs he told me I still had an "O2 sensor" out but we should make the trip just fine. He let me post date a check for two weeks and off we went.

He was right, we made it just fine and had a great trip.

The check engine light remained on but I just kept on going...remembering the "just fine" part .

Fast forward to Zach changing the oil in my car when in financial desperation and then my "STOP ENGINE OIL PRESSURE LOW" light coming on.

This was a light I had never seen come on before and after Zach telling me twenty times he had put the right size filter on...I discovered he had put on a filter that was for a VW pick up ( haven't been made since the eighties) and I drive a 2001 Passat.

My nephew came over and changed my oil, putting on the right filter and pointing out that I had a broken hose connection.''"Hose-Schmose" my car was running and that was all I needed.

My brother in law told me to go by Auto**** and let them plug into my computer and tell me what was wrong.

Number one: the guys at Auto**** act like they are ALL mechanics when in fact they are cashiers.

Number two: they are all very nice and a few of them DO know about cars...but what am I supposed to do, memorized THEIR work schedule and only go by the days THEY are working?

I went my by trusty mechanic(bestest car worker-on-er EVER)...dang I've been hanging around Massey too long... and he looked at my car and said the "Cashiers" were wrong I couldn't buy the hose connection at their store for $5 like they told me. He told me to go by the VW dealership and buy the part and he would put it on for me.

By this point it was the last week of February. My tag had expired on Tim's birthday, Feb12. I knew I was already driving on an expired tag but as long as I didn't get pulled over I felt "Cotton Confident."

My big problem was getting my car to pass emissions. I knew it would never pass with the check engine light on so I was taking baby steps to correct the smallest problems I could.

My husband stopped on the way home from work the next morning at the VW dealership and picked up the $5 part the "Cashiers" had told me to get...it was $40.

I went to my mechanic and his shop was full of people sitting reading papers and texting. There were at least ten people waiting. I walked in with the part in my hand and he immediately went out into the work bay and told a guy to "Put this part on for Mrs. Cotton."

Five minutes later "The guy" called me out into the bay and said "I put it on but you have one busted on the other side of the engine too."

ARRGGGH !

He showed me what it should look like and I said I would get one the next day. I asked the owner how much I owed him and he said "Nothing...go get the other one and bring it back."

Tim came home the NEXT day with the NEXT part and as soon as I got off from my lunch shift I went back (to the nicest mechanic in the WORLD.)

I walked in and again the room was full of paper reading, texting, snoozing people. I sat for maybe five minutes before the guy who had replaced the other part came into the lobby and held out his hand for the part...then said "Where's your key?'

While a "REAL" mechanic put on my missing hose connection I asked the owner how much it cost to replace an O2 sensor? He said "more than this."

I immediately let it go but told him I would check back with him on it.

Five more minutes went by and all the same people were all sitting in their same chairs all reading the same newspapers when the owner said "You're ready, Mrs. Cotton."

I asked him how much I owed him and he said "Fifty cents" not loud enough for anyone to even look up from their paper.

I gave him a $10 bill and told him to give it to the guy that had replaced both parts.

The owner knows me from the Western Sizzler I used to work for and knows what we have been through.

He knew I was 3 days from driving on an expired tag and helped me all he could. I told him as soon as I got some money together I would come back to have the o2 sensor replaced...that was keeping my "Check Engine" light on.

I got back into my car and looked at the dash...no "Check Engine" light!

I screamed into the nearest emissions place like I was late for one of Massey's shows and pulled up...no waiting...no worries!" I felt like pounding on the horn to let them know I was a busy person and they were lucky to have me drive through!

It was a young couple running it and had their dog tied up by the drive through. I got out of my car and left it running, scared if I turned it off the check engine light would come back on. As I petted, played with and let the dog sniff my every body part I noticed the guy running the test kept looking back and forth from my car to the computer.

He finally asked if I had recently had work done on my car? I said "Yeah, I had two vacuum hoses replaced." He said my mechanic (my new hero) had seemingly reset my computer and I had to drive 60 miles before he could test it.

I went home and told Tim after he drove my car to work that night and drove it home again ( a round trip of 90 miles) to go back and have the car re tested at the same place.

Tim got home the next morning and called me to say the car had passed emissions. WOO HOO!!

I was at regional competition with Massey... and between Prelims and Finals went home to get the car. I got in it and cranked it up. The first light I usually notice is "Please Refuel" followed by "Check Engine."

Thanks to my brother who has loved me so past the point any relative should have to (and his gas card)...the only light on was "Check Engine." Who cares?

Guess what... I got my car to pass emissions and could now get my tag! "Touch ME...I GOT it...Who Bad? ME Bad! Going to the courthouse!! Marrying a little sticker called 2012 for a VW Passat!"

Actually Tim tried to go this morning so I could sleep late having to work a double shift. He came home in time for me to take our only running/semi legal vehicle to work, saying the line was too long.

NO DUH...

I ain't the only idiot...they all show up the last day of the month with their reasons and all their excuses. I SHOULD know all these people by now, but I guess we are timid procrastinators...

Who wants to be reminded of their failures?

I went after my lunch shift....around two.

NOTE TO PROCRASTINATORS: Go at 2PM...not before and not after.

The people with"real" jobs have given up and returned to corporate America by 1:45 stopping by Starbucks for a quick fix. The rest will wake up early and be there by 2:30 if there isn't a long line at McDonald's.

When I got in line there were five people in front of me. When I left the EXIT door giggling with delight, there were 30 people behind me and more flooding in every second. I left in five minutes with my brand new tag.

Another bullet dodged...learning to "Snake Life" (Thanks Scott and Dee) and knowing that as long as I keep on keeping on my life will keep on being blessed.

This last weekend made it ALL worthwhile...I was tired to begin with and more tired at the end.

The middle was AMAZING.

I met friends that love Massey as their own...What greater friends can you have? I met people that welcomed me and made me feel comfortable enough to do my "Routine" in front of and laughed along with me.

Came home with a current tag today..."Hooty Hoot!"

Spent a weekend with some great people and some great teens...that's a pretty good weekend.

It feels like work at the time but feels like a blessing the minute you get home and open your door.

If you have a door in your life you probably also have a window to look out and see all your opportunities when you feel the door close behind you.

I have a life so blessed, so full of family and friends that it gives me "Night Sweats" beyond "Night Sweats."

At least I have the window...

Life is getting better every day...

Moving in the right direction and starting to "In-Joy" life.

Til next time..."Cruising Cotton."

A Most "IN-JOY"able Day

The sweetest bunch of Drama Queens you'll ever meet...The ECHS Guard. They can exasperate you to no end but pull it together when it counts and make it worth every tear...They are an awesome bunch of teens. The pic to the left is them saying The Lord's Prayer before a performance. I absolutely LOVE this picture!


I spent a lot of time with them at band camp this summer and made a lot of new friends..and a lot of those new friends have been so wonderful to Massey, which makes them "Wonderful" to me!




I'm finally beginning to feel like I fit in. I miss a lot of things because of work, but have spent more time this year with the Guard than ever before...and have thoroughly
"In-Joyed" every second.



The name of their show this season is "In-Joy." It's about when life was simpler and sweeter. The music is Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" and it is one awesome show.

Today was Atlanta Regional...a huge competition at a high school in a neighboring county.

I worked the past fourteen days with only one day off so I could spend the day helping with the props at Regional.

Their tarp is painted like a Monet painting...at least that's what it resembles to me and is beautifully done.

We have less than three minutes to assemble and place four huge swing sets made of two by fours, braces and huge steel pins and set up five sliding boards after unrolling the tarp and clear the floor to keep from getting penalized.

I was very nervous about helping...the other parents (and two teens) have been practicing for weeks setting it all up and taking it all down while timing the entire process.

This morning was the first time I have even touched one of the swing sets or seen how they were assembled.

I had to have Massey at the school by 6:30 this morning and came back home to shower and get back there before 8:00.

When I went into the gym the guys were rebuilding one of the swings that had broken apart during a run through (while Massey and another girl were swinging on it.)

Drama...always a factor!

They threw up the fixed swing in no time and were painting it as the Guard loaded the bus to head to Regional.

I was nervous for the Guards performance but more nervous about stepping in as Props help having never done it before.

The guy who built the swings and sliding boards walked me through how they went up, how to put the pins in and where to place them on the tarp...by this time I had thrown up a little bit in my mouth twice and was sweating like Mel Gibson at the Apollo.

The swings are bulky and the slides are heavy...and I had never touched one of them until we loaded them in the trailer, much less tried to assemble them in under 3 minutes in front of a gym full of people that thought I knew what I was doing and were most likely looking at the ninety pound weakling trying to carry a ninety pound swing across a gym floor and set it up properly so that one of our kid's wouldn't get maimed or the entire thing collapse (my biggest worry.)

GO TIME!!

I just listened to them and moved left when they said left and moved right when they said right...Or did they mean I was right about moving left?

My heart was pumping full volume and I was shaking when I sat down to watch them perform.

Oops...six minutes later we had to move the "Play ground" off the tarp as quickly as we moved it on.

By this point I was a total nervous wreck. I think I like the competitions better that I go to when I scream into the parking lot on two wheels with one minute to go...at least I get to sit down and watch and can get my heart rate back to normal while in a sitting position knowing I don't have to get up again unless I want to.

Not the case today! After prelims we of course :) made finals... and headed back to ECHS for lunch and more practice.

You know you are tired when you can fall asleep on a hard plastic bleacher in a high school gym, and I did just that while they practiced....I've been informed pictures were taken of me sawing logs but it was the best thirty minute nap I have had in a while.

Woke up somewhat refreshed and we headed back for Finals.

When we got there I was all "Are we doing it the same way, do I carry out the same swing, does it face this way or that and who's gonna tell me when to go?"

Before we left the prop room they came up and handed me two steel pins to go in either side of the swing set.

I began to panic again and said "I don't think I was a pin-pusher-in er" this morning, who should I give these to?

They informed me that I indeed WAS a "Pin-pusher-in er" that morning and was obviously expected to do it again.

More bile rose in my throat, somehow getting past the pounding in my teeny weeny chest .

No time to panic..."WE'RE ON...Let's move!"

I scrambled under the set and weaved and snaked ...I worked that swing set around the poles and somehow got it into place with three other people dragging my 90 some odd pounds quickly through the process.

I ran back to the bleachers to see those kids give a performance that almost took what little breath I had left away!

They had huge smiles on their faces and in Guard speak "HIT IT." The crowd loved it and my heart melted to hear the response the show got.

No time to dawdle...it was time to run out on the tarp and carry off what seemed like a "Home Edition Extreme Makeover" off the floor in two minutes.

After we loaded the props back on the trailer I went back in to sit with Massey's best friend and her Mom. No less than four people stopped me to comment on our show.

I went to concessions to get a coke and three more people spoke to me about the extravagance and showmanship of our Guards show.

I wanted to say "I was the skinny one dry heaving beside the swing set on the far left."

It was great to finally feel like "One of the Guard."

I have bruises on both my hands and my legs got beaten to death when I "Snaked" the wrong way coming off the tarp...but I DID IT!

No penalties for taking too long setting up or taking down and hands down we were a "Crowd Favorite."

I worked fourteen days to "In-Joy" one day with some of the most amazing people I have ever been blessed to know.

It ended up to be fun...we had a million laughs and saw our kids give a priceless performance.

Life should always be this good.

At least today I started to earn my wings, spent the day with my daughter and learned what a "Pin- pusher- in er" is... It's ME when I can take time to "In-Joy" what my girl loves.

I am beginning to love it too!!

Til next time "Cotton with a Cause"

Are You Listening Or Even Paying Attention?

I took my VW to have the broken hose fixed today only to discover one was broken on the other side of the engine as well.

Seems to me if MY mechanic noticed the second broken hose...the mechanic at the VW dealership would have noticed it when we purchased the first one . It was the size of a cork and cost $40. The second hose has a small nipple on it which will certainly cost at least $20 more...you know how expensive nipples are!

At least I am halfway to having my car fixed and twice as far along as I was yesterday! Gotta keep thinking positive thoughts.

Took Massey some dinner by the high school where she had 9 AM to 9 PM practice....sometimes I wonder if she is training for the Olympics?

Headed to work and my first table almost put me over the edge. They were nice enough, actually VERY nice people but with the current pressure I am under and the fact that I am fifty, menopausal and sweat like Mel Gibson at The Apollo after a cup of coffee doesn't help my patience.

It was a table of four . I took the first person's order and when I asked what type dressing they wanted on their salad they asked what kind we had? I say the dressings in the same order every time..."Italian vinaigrette, Balsamic vinaigrette, Lemon Basil, Mediterranean, Bleu cheese, Ranch and for fifty cents more a Caesar salad."

I took the next person's order and when I asked what type dressing they wanted they said "What do you have?"

I said sweetly "Italian vinaigrette, Balsamic vinaigrette, Lemon basil, Mediterranean, Bleu cheese, Ranch and for fifty cents more a Caesar salad.

Guess what happened with the third person to order? I kid you not...

When the fourth person ordered and asked me the same question, I wanted to scream at them "ITALIAN , BALSAMIC, MEDITERRANEAN, LEMON BASIL, BLEU CHEESE, RANCH AND FOR FIFTY CENTS MORE A CAESAR SALAD...ARE YA DEAF OR JUST STUPID??"

I took a deep breath, felt sweat trickling down between my "A" cup bra and reminded myself this was my job...leading sheep and herding them in the right direction. Their destination was to have a wonderful meal and I was the "Go To" person for that to happen. They came to me for a great meal and I made it happen. Most people think waiting table's is a cake walk and it is if you are slacker.

I consider it my profession...BIG DIFFERENCE.

This profession has been good to me and I truly think I am good at it. It's just like any other job, sometimes you get fed up and want to scream.

That is when professionalism comes into play. I wanted to say "Did you not realize I gave you a menu with EVERYTHING in black and white to lead you through your order or did you think the hostess gave you the menu to fan me with to keep my sweat stains to a minimum?"

At least my life is on the rebound and I can take dummies with a grain of salt and still make them love me before they leave my table.

Getting my second hose (with the nipple) tomorrow and hopefully my "Check Engine" light will go off so I can get an Emissions sticker before March. My tag expired on my husband's birthday, February 12 (which I forgot...therefore forgetting my tag was expiring).

I guess I'm good to go until March... at least I hope so.

It doesn't really matter to me (but it really does.)

I discovered that I am extremely proficient and have learned to work, bend and make things happen.

In other words..."I am a Wife and Mother and have no greater love or focus than being JUST that! "

I think I'll be okay..." I gots the BIG Guy in my corner!"

Til next time...COTTON

Just My Take On Things...

From the look on my face in this photo, I knew just how tough life was gonna be!

It's crazy, this picture is one of my earliest memories. I remember my Mother made that little bow she clipped in my hair...of course she made EVERYTHING.

Now I am fifty (even crazier) and wish I had listened to my parents when I was young. All I heard then was that muted trumpet sound adults have in a Charlie Brown Special..."WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH."

Let's get started on my latest gripe...Printers.

Who owns the rights to ink cartridges that go in your printer...Saudi Arabia? Why does a cartridge the size of Tic Tacs cost $34.99?

I got duped by someone I used to work with when she came up to me one day at work and said "You gotta go buy this printer they have at Target."

Granted it was only $25 and came with ink cartridges. Since buying it I have realized that the cartridges they so graciously give you are about half full. When my black ink ran out I decided to let the color run out too and only purchase a black cartridge so I could print documents etc.

Got home and Massey installed the cartridge for me so I wouldn't have to strap on my binoculars to read the instructions.

Whadda you know...my printer that was such a fantastic bargain has to have the color cartridge too to print in black ink.

Next thing I know they will tell me I have to use unleaded ink only. What a rip off.

Not to mention with my old printer I could take the empty cartridges and have them refilled at Office Max for $10.

Can I do this with my new printer? That would be a big fat NO.

Somebody tell me how a tiny cartridge of ink can cost $34. Somebody, somewhere is laughing all the way to the Ink Bank.

When you have high school or even elementary school kid's you HAVE to have a working printer. Maybe the school system should look into buying stock in printer ink.

Next on my list is people buying lottery tickets at the gas station. If you are hooked on playing the lottery you should have your game plan down by the time the clerk says "What can I do for you?" Don't hem haw around saying "Umm, give me two of those and three of these...no not that one but the one beside it." It kills me when I am running late for work or running late to pick up one of the kids and I scream into the gas station to pump $5 only to stand in line behind some idiot plotting out his future, one scratch off at a time.

That's why I like stations that have the lines "Lottery Only." I have nothing against the lottery but I hate being held hostage by people with obviously more spare time than me.

Moving on...How many Holidays do banks need? I didn't even think about Monday being President's Day. I mean I did when I went into work that morning knowing we would have a good lunch because it was a holiday. Then I got off and had a two hour break. I picked Massey up and we went to run errands. She was driving so I was already distracted. I told her to pull into the bank drive through and was busy endorsing my catering paycheck. When I had every thing filled out I glanced up to see their notice about being closed. I thought "Yeah...you're closed, but you're still running my checks through."

Luckily I have finally realized you can't beat the banking system...but still believe it is an evil institution.

I am beginning to believe that banks, printers and cell phone providers are our biggest enemies.

When the above photo was taken of me...I think I knew then what the future held. My face seems to say "You mean MY kids will have cell phones?"

How did I grow up in the "Flintstone'" era and end up way past the "Jetstones?"

How did I grow up in a house with one land line phone and one TV set?

How did my mother raise us without cell phones...and why didn't walkie talkies know what they had going? They could have cashed in big.

We are so spoiled in life it is pitiful. I am as guilty as anyone and embarrassed by how technology and continuing advances are tossing us all into this "Cyber" world.

If you stop to think about it, it is scary...especially if you are MY age.

Til next time "Cyber Cotton"

Charlie Needs a Good Therapist

The first picture is our idiot Bulldog with his fat head stuck through a hole he chewed through the privacy fence so he could get a better view of the world he is terrified of. He worked on the hole for a good two days before he got the space big enough to wedge his fat head through. I ended up having to stick a metal pole in the ground just to keep the idiot in the yard.

Not that he goes anywhere when he gets out of the back yard. He escapes from the back yard and runs around to the front of the house and sits by the front door looking through the window for someone to let him back in. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

I was at work today when one of the other server's asked me where I took my dogs to be groomed? I told her I took them out in our driveway and turned on the hose. She has just recently gotten a dog .

Then she asked me where I got their nails clipped and I told her usually in the garage. I told her I had an extra pair of clippers I would give her.

The owner was in his office listening to us and leaned back out of the office and said "You're an old school dog person like me , Kelly. Just feed them and love them til they die."

Heck, I haven't even taken my dogs to have shots in over two years...they're lucky they get fed. I don't mean to sound heartless...I used to faithfully take my dogs once a year for checkups and shots. When it came time to HAVE to choose between their shots or my kid's , my kid's won the coin toss. Of course the dog's vaccination's would have been cheaper, but I'd rather be considered a crappy dog owner than a crappy Mom.

My female Boxer who is over 10 years old (pretty old for a Boxer) can barely walk anymore. She has horrible hip dysplasia and does okay on the carpet in the house or out in the yard but when she hits the linoleum kitchen floor her back legs go weak as water and in two different directions. In lieu of surgery I just keep a beach towel going from the linoleum to the carpet so she can get to the back door. It kills me to see her struggle but she is still happy and eating. Once in the yard she can still even run after Charlie like no body's bid- ness.

I was out back today with the three stooges between my shifts and noticed that Rosie is getting worse, even stumbling around in the yard now. It breaks my heart to see her struggle but she doesn't seem to be in pain, just losing her ability to walk. I need to start thinking about what is best for her, but even having a dog put to sleep is out of my price range right now.

I know people that have put their dogs through Chemo or spent thousands of dollars on surgery to keep them just a short time more. I don't have that option.

Charlie is deaf as a post but a dummy anyway, it has grown to be part of his charm. Ham is healthy as an ox and almost as big as one. Rosie is totally the "Alpha" dog and both the Male's demure to her.

I'll give it a month...or should I say I'll give myself a month longer with her.

We got Rosie when the kids were young and she has grown up with all three of my children. She is as much a part of our family as any of us.

I can remember when she was a young pup, chasing Zach across the backyard pulling his shorts down as he tried to scramble up on the wooden fort out back. I gotta find that pic.

We will just love her until it hurts her too much. Then it will kill a part of me to have to say goodbye to her. She grew up with all three of my children and IS one of my kids.

I love looking at these pics of her as a rambunctious young pup...and that is the way I will remember her.

"Pics of our sweet "Rosie."

"Only the good die young."

She is only a decade into our lives but will be a part of our family memories forever.

She may get better but I don't think so. She has had a good run and for a Boxer ten years is close to the cut off.

Guess it's getting time to lose my first pup in a long while.

The kid's know it is coming but it won't be easy for any of us. She went through two years of Zach trying out Kindergarten... pulling his pants down as he tried valiantly to jump on the wooden fort out back before she snagged his britches (He never won THAT race.)

She lived In my oldest son's bedroom for her first year until she fell through the crack of his cheap "Futon" I bought him at Big Lots (you get what you pay for.)

She has watched all three of my kids grow up and loved all three of them...unconditionally.

We love her the same..."Unconditionally."

JEEZ..

I "Ain't got no money" to save her or even try!

It reminds me of when Massey was about four years old. We gave her a doctor's kit for Christmas and she played with it as I lay prone on the couch (like a good victim.) I tried to act realistic when asking "Oh Doctor, will I live?" She quickly responded "Yes..You will live with your family."

Rosie has lived with her family and her family has loved her.

The time is getting close and I am putting off the inevitable.

At least I still have all these pictures and will remember her as the kid that gave me the "Least amount of needed therapy or problems."

Til next time..."Counting Down the Days and Waiting on the Tears Cotton."