What A Relief

Since starting this new second job have had to be an Early Bird three days a week. Not my forte.

I had to get my son,  Zach to show me how to set the alarm on my iPhone.

Well technically, no pretty much ACTUALLY he did it for me but you get the drift.

When I first got a cell phone my kids (all still in high school then) teased me when saw I didn't know how to send a text using "word" on our old Verizon flip phones. If I was going to start the text with "Hello" I would hit the number four button twice for the letter "H" on my phone. Then would press the number three on my phone twice so the letter "E" would appear next. Then I'd hit the number five three times twice to put two "L's" into the beginning of my text message after the letters "H" and "E" which already appeared on the screen. (I always liked those two letters, they made me look like I was doing it really fast)

In other words it would take me five minutes to type "Hello!"


Wait a minute, make that seven if had included the exclamation point and parenthesis. I was terrible with the "Symbols" key, where it made a capital letter or gave you options for punctuation marks. I never understood why it was marked with the letters "fn". Hang on... Did they mean "Function" key?

Dag Nabit! NOW I get it!!

Looking back it's a wonder I even knew how to make or receive a call.

Massey and Zach made fun of me for a while but then gave me a tutorial on changing my settings under texting to "word" and told me how to just simply start typing a word and the word would finally just pop onto the screen like Magic!

I'm telling you it FELT like magic!! How in the world did a cell phone know what word I was trying to type? That's just CRAZY!

It was kinda a spooky moment for me.

Looks like I've come a long way! I should have started with a "Jitter Bug".


Anyway, back to my alarm for this morning. I'm still not real savvy with using it and just recently learned how to make it hit the snooze button.

I LIKE that snooze button! Especially when I have to be at work by eight thirty on the morning of my thirty eighth day in a row of work.

I decided I could snooze fifteen more minutes when it went off at six ten this morning.

At seven, woke up with a start when I saw what the clock read. I should be getting into my next door husband's borrowed truck RIGHT NOW!

I had turned the alarm to off instead of snooze, although "Snooze" is what I had been unknowingly enjoying for almost an hour.

I skipped a real bath or shower...did it the old fashioned "Ho" way. I was in the truck by seven twenty and even had some makeup on.

Made awesome time to the MARTA station and although had to park quickly far away from the station as opposed to stalking people who were leaving and grabbing a closer spot, still made the eight o'clock train right as the doors began to close. It's a good thing I did, I don't know if I weigh enough to stop the doors from shutting on me. Got to the airport by 8:05 and the Sardine Shuttle line by 8:06.

Then just as my luck would have it, they had an old dude in a wheelchair stuck in the Sardine Can Shuttle I needed to get on. For Pete's sake, if the lift mechanism isn't working properly on the van, instead of five of you who work for the shuttle service trying to fix it for over ten minutes, just tote the old man's chair off! It's only two steps down, heck I've FALLEN down both of them and lived to tell the story.

Well anyway I got to work five minutes late and was still the first one there. So much for hurrying. And to think I did all that rushing on a still bum and swollen ankle from another fall!

Jeez though, it feels wonderful to have gotten shopped twice in less than eight days from my initial shift on the floor at the new place, improved my score by almost twenty points and is still under the one month mark since starting to serve there.

I'm sure the first day I walked in there most everyone was asking "Who hired Granny Clampett with her butch looking hair cut and all those wrinkles?"

Well Granny's still here and beginning to feel pretty stinking good that she can not only keep up with you younguns but still beat you to work most mornings.

I haven't made a lot of friends, most all are in their twenties and would be embarrassed to call an old fart like me a friend but that's okay. I'm not there to make friends, I'm there to make money. All are pleasant to me and the ones who don't seem to want to bffls with me at least acknowledge my presence and help me when I ask for it.

It's like I'm learning to Text all over again.

The few older chicks there who are all at least ten years younger than me are really nice. I guess I give them hope for their own future as a professional server.

I got off around five thirty and dragged myself back to the Sardine Shuttle feeling like I WAS Granny Clampett.  No wheelchair stuck old dude on the ride back but an annoying woman right next to me who griped at her husband loudly the entire twelve minutes back to the domestic terminal where I catch the MARTA train back to my next door husband's borrowed vehicle. My feet were throbbing and I wasn't even on them. The more she griped at her husband, the more my feet hurt.

I wanted to ask if it had been HER money that had taken them both to France for three weeks or his?

I bet THAT was a fun trip for him.

It was at least two hundred degrees as I walked back to the truck after getting off the MARTA train with now a throbbing head AND two feet.

By the time I got back to Newnan my makeup was running down my face and my eyes were blurry. I had all the buttons on my shirt unbuttoned except the middle one hiding my cheap bra covering my ant bites.

It's been a tough few weeks and is beginning to show. Mentally and physically.

I walked in the house sweating like a fat man digging ditches in the Sahara Desert mid August with a small garden spade in long pants and a long sleeved shirt.

I looked around the house and thought of tons of things I needed to do, then sat down and all the thoughts went away.

I sat down at the computer and did what "I" like to do. Write about it.

I feel better now.

I don't know if I make others laugh but make myself laugh when I write about my always crazy day.

Added bonus:

Came home after my seemingly million degree trip back to the house and Tim had the oven in the kitchen on 400 degrees to cook some chicken for dinner. We have one air duct in the kitchen for A/C and was already seventy seven degrees downstairs where the kitchen is.

I Don't Think So.

Dug out a coupon for Philly Cheese steaks from my favorite Take out place and sent Tim to pick them up.

I'll be in bed before long and even already feel better just doing what "I" wanted for an hour or two...write about my day.

HUGE shout out to my dear friend, Oopsie. You literally saved us. Thank you !



Til next time...Granny COTTON