It's Not Brain Surgery...

I just got home from a 'spankin' at work. It was GREAT! Today was my day off and I picked up a shift, so everything I made was "gravy." It started slow and immediately went crazy in a matter of ten minutes.

We had a party of 14 come in followed by a party of 12. I got the party of 12. All women, and a couple of them recognized me from Longhorn. Right after I got the 12 top, I got a 6 top and I began to wonder if I had forgotten to put on deodorant. I was sweating like a 'ho' in church scrambling to make salads, get appetizers out and try to keep drinks filled.

Another server who is new like me, asked me where we kept the ice bucket. Number one: keeping the ice bin full when it is busy is a full time job in itself. Number two: a lot of the time the cooks have it back on their line icing down food products and forget to return it.

I told her if it wasn't where we kept it, the cooks probably had it. She said "No, I mean where do we keep it?"

For Pete's sake!

She has been there for almost two months and doesn't know where we keep the ice bucket? I was nice and said "On top of the ice machine." I was even extra nice and didn't add "DUH!!"

I had a killer night, that almost KILLED me! I waited on four tables and walked with $110.00.

I worked in the yard today for two hours before I went to work...love me that HOT Georgia sun. My body is slowly falling apart limb by limb but I have been lucky.

I have ONE bad knee, the other one is fine. I have carpal tunnel in one wrist from carrying dinner plates for 33 years but the other one is fine. One of my thumbs has been numb at the tip for over two years but the other thumb is fine. I have a constant ringing in my right ear and lately it feels like it is stopped up with water but if I pinch my nose and blow real hard it pops open for a while...the other ear, fine.

It's kinda like the "half full/ half empty glass theory." I have bad parts but I still have good parts. I may be fifty, but I weigh less than I did in high school. My hair might be going gray, but it is short and hard to notice. I have three kids but the 24 year old is gone and the next one turns eighteen next month. I have a lawn mower that causes me grief but a next door husband who can fix anything. I have a daughter who drives me nuts but is one of the sweetest girls on the planet. I got fired from a job that I hated and have a new job that I love. I am a hurricane and my husband is a gentle breeze. I have three dogs to feed and water but I have three dogs that love me unconditionally. I have bill collectors calling me but I have friends calling me too.

Life is a crazy mixed up thing. I have decided that if I am breathing, I am doing okay. Everything else will fall into place and work out on its own. As long as I have my blog, I have "MY" place. I have a place to go that I love and that for some reason other people love too. To feel loved is a marvelous feeling and one that I never take for granted. As long as I am breathing I will feel blessed. The other stuff is just the "half empty" part. As long as I have a "half full" part I feel pretty darn lucky.

Getting up early tomorrow to plant my Morning Glory seeds...probably late but I am thinking "Better late than never." Getting my hair cut to chop out the gray, putting my "Ring Relief" drops in my ear ...doing my nails just to feel "prettyful" (one of Massey's big words) and doing it all again.

I think my new motto is "Keep that glass half full."

Til next time...Halfway there COTTON

And I Thought I was the Funny One...

You have to click on these photos so you can see just how much my bachelor brother enjoys quality time with my kids. The look on his face says it all..."Vasectomy, please."

He is the only one of us without kids...guess the six kids between my sister and me are enough for him. I LOVE the picture of him with Zach squeezed between his legs with a flyswatter as a weapon while he TRIES to enjoy to enjoy a book...Classic "Chris."

EVERYONE loves my brother and I can say that with confidence. He is hands down one of the funniest people I have ever known...and that's A LOT coming from me!

I remember when I was about 19, there was a bar called Modine's by the airport, in the old Scott Hudgens building that was packed every weekend. Sometimes you couldn't even MOVE in there. This was back when the legal drinking age was 18 (what the hey were lawmakers thinking?) I was there and my brother, with all his cronies. There was a guy with his girlfriend behind my brother...shoving into to him relentlessly trying to squeeze by. Finally my brother turned around and collared the guy, saying "Hey buddy...you push me ONE more time and I'm going to kick your girlfriend's ass."

We all cracked up. The guy seemed puzzled, the girlfriend looked frazzled and they both retreated, wondering what had just happened.

When I was a couple of years older I was dating a guy that had passes to a private party for Channel 5 at Harrison's (I think) on Peachtree St. in Atlanta. It was a great old establishment across the street from Bennihanna's. My brother went with us. One of the meteorologists...I think Ken Cook, was at the party and my brother sidled up next to him and remarked casually "Those were some pretty amazing cumulus clouds out there today."

Ken Cook just looked at him and walked off but WE all had a good laugh. I remember one of the female anchors was pretty hot and my brother remarked she looked hot til you heard her hacking up a lung with that smoker's cough.

A few years ago we were all on vacation together . My family, my sister's family and all the kids with their friends in tow. Chris, Massey and I snuck off to drive to Destin to go to the local Wal Mart. Massey was riding shot gun with Uncle Chris and I was in the back seat filing my nails. Chris was asking Massey for help with directions and as we passed a strip mall he asked what a sign said. It was a branch of the banking company F.N.B. Massey sweetly said "That was the FNB." Chris quickly retorted "Watch your mouth little lady." Massey never got the joke but I cracked up. Ole Chris is a quick wit.

Chris is the most honest man I know. He picks on me relentlessly and when I think I can't take it anymore, he does something so sweet that I want to kiss his cheek. He loves my husband who is a complete opposite of me. He is as pale white as I am Native American Indian dark. On our last trip to Florida together as a family...Tim got so sunburned from a morning out at the beach, while I turned a nice bronze. When we went back to the house, Chris was loading up the golf clubs in his Porsche so he and Tim could go play eighteen holes. Chris said "Come on Red Snapper, it's almost tee time."

Massey stills laughs about that one.

When Tim and I hit rock bottom this past year...my family got us through, with the help of many, many friends. My brother would come to eat with me at my old restaurant and leave me an exorbitant tip. When I lost my job and had NOTHING...he loaned me a gas card and got us from place to place .

He is a carbon copy of my father...even the cadence of his speech reminds me of "Diddy." He's like a father AND a brother to me.

He came in to eat at my new place tonight. I told the owner that my brother had come in to eat for the first time and he asked "That is YOUR brother at table 201?" He probably said that because I weigh 95 pounds, my sister a little over 105 and my brother is a brusque guy. Not fat but a stocky guy. I told the owner to come meet him and when we approached the table I introduced them. My brother shook hands with the owner while I said how much I had appreciated the owners hiring me. Chris didn't miss a beat and said "Well I didn't know you hired the handicapped, but thanks for doing it." The owner immediately said "Yeah, that IS your brother."

I lost my Mom when I was seventeen. I lost my Diddy when I was in my early forties. They both left me in good hands. A sister that is incredible and a brother that is a comedienne, a father figure and a really great guy.

He is transferring back to Orlando soon (probably to get away from me and my sister) but we know where to find him. He lives 15 minutes away from Walt Disney World and Universal when he is living in Orlando and has a bachelor pad that my family all squeezes into when we take the kids there. He saves us almost a thousand dollars on accommodations for a four day trip and we remind him why he doesn't want kids...HE HAS OURS !

I love my brother dearly, I don't tell him that enough but in the way that suits me best.. I will tell him with words. I hope he knows how much he means to me. Just being around him is a pleasure, having his love is a bonus and knowing that without litagation he can't disown me is the thing that I bank on!

Til next time...COTTON

The Experiment

So I'm not the 'absent minded professor'...wait a minute, maybe I am! (It will make sense in a minute...I hope)

I got home from work around 4 PM today and hopped on "Johnny" to cut the front of the subdivision. It takes about two and a half hours because most of it is in a culvert and requires weed eating...my forearms should look like Popeye's. Instead I look like Olive Oyl

with a bad haircut.

Massey walked up to visit me and I knew immediately that she wanted something from me. She can smile and wave and blow kisses all she wants but I know she's not there for moral support but for a favor. She's my third child, I learned THIS trick with the first one.

She wanted me to take her over to her BFF's house to spend the night. I told her I would when I got through and mentally thought "WOO HOO." All drama would be gone from the house...except for me, and "I'm the drama that counts."

I finished the front of the subdivision with only one cat whistle from a truck load of Mexicans (Thanks amigos) and putted back to the house.

Massey was ready to go, ready to escape my daily mantra of "Is your room clean?" and off we went. She was immediately mortified by the way I looked. I was in my grass cutting attire, my bikini top and Daisy Dukes (covered with one of Zach's Pink Floyd tee shirts) and the front of my shins were coated with grass from weed eating and the rest of the grass clippings were all stuck to my "Sonic the Hedge Hog" haircut.

We got to the front of the subdivision at the stop sign and I sat for a second to admire my handiwork. I saw a weed I had missed with my weed eater and told her to hold on a minute while I put the car in park and got out and plucked it out of the ground. She actually rolled the driver's side window and said "Are you seriously doing this?"

Damn Skippy!

Now that it looked all better I got back in the car and "Away we go..."

We got about a quarter of a mile from the house when she said "My friend Megan said that everyone reads your blog and asked if I minded that you put our life out there for everyone to read?"

I said "Well, does it bother you?" She said no, if you didn't blog it you would just TELL everyone anyway and this way saves time.

I cracked a smile and told her I didn't think THAT many people were reading my blog. She informed me that EVERYBODY read my blog. My girl loves me so she of course thinks I am Danielle Steele.

It got me thinking though.

Maybe I DO have readers, maybe I do have a smattering of people that read my drivel.

I have decide to conduct an experiment. No pressure, no spam or file phishing involved. My blog is MY blog...no one can hack in or steal your info.

I was just wondering how many people would admit to reading my blog? I used to have ads on my blog but I was generating so many hits that google cut me off (go figure...I guess google is having money trouble LOL) I used to have about 6,000 hits a month but since the ads are gone I have no way of tracking .

If you read my blog...post a comment. It can be "Yeah, you stink" or "Yes I do read." Whatever works for me. I think you have to create a google account or some crap but it lets you in and you can comment on my blog. It is at the bottom of every post.

This may be a good thing or it may make me really sad.

Either way...I am just curious. I would love to spellbind you with the teaser of tomorrow's post, but in my house..YOU JUST NEVER KNOW!

Til next time...COTTON

"My Name is Cotton and I'm a Blogaholic"

First off you have to click on the cartoon! (I'll wait.)

I try not to embarrass my kids TOO much on my blog...although they have embarrassed me so many times over the years I've simply lost count. Our family is such a goofy and eclectic group (yeah I'm the MAIN goofball) that the material is usually too good to pass up. They'll thank me for it one day when I turn my blog into a book and they are all suddenly famous (and their Mom's rich.)

Probability of that happening is slim to none, but HEY a gal can dream.

I could blog about my husband all I want and he'd never know, he's only recently become savvy with logging onto the bank account. He knows I talk about him here but he couldn't remember a password to save his life, unless I wrote it on his forehead back words so he could read it in the mirror.

He is a wonderful man and a great father but ask him to print something off on the computer and he hits every wrong button you can, backs up the printer by hitting print over and over and over again and has no patience for technology. I guess being married to me has used up all his patience and then some!

I have had a rough past year but we are fighting our way back to the middle and happy to be approaching it.
I have a new job that I love and that seems to love me. I work with servers half my age and enjoy it tremendously. Tonight at work, one of my favorite servers was back in the kitchen with me. I was polishing silverware and she was scarfing down a delicious looking sandwich. Our restaurant makes the most amazing food I have ever seen and they don't hesitate to fill us up with their delicious food.

She washed her hands and was headed back out front to check on the one table she had left...she turned to me, ran her tongue over her teeth swallowed hard and said "Do I have any basil stuck in my teeth?" You know me, I didn't miss a beat and said quite emphatically "OH MY GOD!!"

She almost blew the sandwich out of her nose laughing.

I love working with young people. I love older people..and I fall somewhere in the middle. I know that I am approaching the half century mark. It is scary and then again it is amazing.

I have three kids that definitely keep me on my toes...or maybe that is me trying to sneak away from them.

Three months ago I was curled into a ball in my bed wanting the world to go away. Now I am up and moving forward, not looking back but remembering how far I have come.

To me that seems like progression...to me that seems like heading in the right direction and making tracks.

I love my kids, I embarrass them on a daily basis but I think deep down, they think I'm a cool mom.

My co workers seem surprised when they learn I am fifty...or maybe they just like old people too.

It sounds strange to say but this blog helps me. I go back often and read all the older posts. I write about every single thing that happens to me, from the mundane to the ridiculous to the incredible.

As a kid I started a diary when I was ten years old...moved on to journals that I filled on a daily basis. I still have the diaries, I still have the journals and now I have my blog.

To be able to look back at things you wrote as a ten year old kid, look back at things you wrote when you were a misguided and wandering twenty something year old and be able to follow that trail to your half century mark is incredible to me.

Written words are my best friend...besides my sister, daughter and a select couple of friends...words are what make memories remain fresh and can bring back feelings and emotions that would be lost otherwise.

To put into print what you are feeling at an exact moment in time freezes that emotion...saves it for you to reflect on and is a feeling that is one of my fondest and dearest.

I may die tomorrow, but the "Life of Cotton" has been written onto a page in a journal or diary or been recorded here on my blog.

At the very least I will have lots to read in the Old Folks Home while I wait for one of my kids to come turn me in the bed or walk me down the halls on my walker with tennis balls attached to the front and tell me I still look good...whether they mean it or not by then won't matter...I'll have it all saved for myself and imagine there will be plenty of free time to read it all over and over again.

Looking forward to at LEAST forty more years of writings to re read and enjoy...COTTON

Sex And The Gritty

It's after 1:30 AM and I should really be headed to bed. Went into work at 11:30 AM and got off at 11:30 PM.

Lunch was smooth...slow but made great tips. My last table of two left me $11 on a $28 tab. Screamed home to leave some money for the hubby to buy gas for his trip to work and was back at work fifteen minutes later.

Our restaurant is next door to the new theater and Sex And The City is the big pull lately. Last week on opening night the bartender made at LEAST 50 Cosmopolitans and the Manola Blahniks were out in full force.
Tonight all the ladies that waited a week for the crowd to die down, strapped on their Manola's and came clomping in.

I had a party of thirty women with another server (thank the Lord a great server) and the madness began. Their reservation was for 6:30 so we were hoping to get them fed , drunk and out the door for the 8:00 show.

When they all clomped in, they began swapping seats swapping tables and became to all look the same with Manolas on their feet and a Cosmo in their hand. We told them at LEAST three times "If this is separate checks that's fine but you HAVE to stay in the same seat when ordering so we know who to charge."

Do you think they listened or even heard? That would be a BIG FAT "NO."

It escalated from a Hen pecking party to a full blown out fiasco. We managed to keep it under control until I asked one of the women "Should we take the order now so you won't be late to the movie?"

This is at 6:45 PM.

The woman said "No , we are going to the 10:10 show."

I think when she said that I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

For Pete's sake..they're gonna drive me crazy for 3 hours...take up my entire section of tables and expect me to be happy about it?

Bite the bullet, Kelly...go with the flow..make lemonade when you're handed lemons (even if they ARE wearing knock off "Blahniks." )

They were nice, they really were (except for a couple of rotten apples thrown in for spice.)

The table swapping continued and you would have thought they were "speed dating" each other. .. five minutes at THIS table and "ON to the next round."

Once they finally ordered, I was in the back trying to get all the salads out when another server "CLOCKED" me right in the temple with the salad cooler door...a stainless steel tank of a door that not only brought tears to my eyes but made me nauseous. I tried to fight back the tears (just like my attacker was doing...she was MORTIFIED) and trudged back to the party with salads on my arm and tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Keep going...keep going...get'em outta here" was what I heard in my banging head and felt in my throbbing temple.

I thought "I NEED a drink NOW."

The seat swapping continued, the table swapping escalated as the liquor kicked in.

Head throbbing...a co worker feeling so guilty she probably wants to finish raising my kids (I might let her) and 30 Cosmos down the path..they suddenly all wanted their tabs.

It was a fiasco. It was a nightmare.

Luckily we pieced together checks and sent them on their "NOW Merry Way."

Come to find out..the seat swapping, the table hopping and the Manola clomping...was OUR demise. I bet there were $40 of unclaimed Cosmos...lots of "Happy Women" and two servers that got "Screwed to the wall."

It was nothing deliberate on their part, I am sure. But when you are a party of 30 all drinking the same cocktail and ordering from one seat to the next...you know who gets screwed?

That's right...another night smushed against the windshield like a bug when all these ladies flutter off to the movie as the driver of the bus.

At least my head has quit throbbing, I had a couple of adult beverages to ease the pain and know that in the land of being a server..."Tomorrow will make up for tonight"....if I am lucky!

"Pumped" For REAL This Time...

John Dear...Part III.

Geez how long does it take to fix a flat tire? Obviously over two weeks if you're me.

My brother in law came over and replaced the pin I had left out of the axle and put my new tire back on. I hopped on Johnny and cut the crap out of my front and back yard! The next morning I went into the garage and my BRAND NEW tire was flat as a pancake.

ARGHH !!!

I was so disgusted that I just left him all lopsided in the garage (that'll show'em) and tried not to think about it. My next door husband called to see how the mower was working and I told him the mower worked fine but the new tire wouldn't hold air. He told me the rim probably needed some more cleaning up and I told him I'd just take it to the tire store and see if they could put a tube in it.

I just couldn't bring myself to ask for more help from him with my mower...you never know when the car might break down and I wanted to give him a rest period before my next tragedy occured so he would be nice and refreshed when he had to come tow my car home!

With all the rain we've been getting I couldn't really cut anyway so I just stuck my tongue out at Johnny every time I went in the garage and called him a stubborn brat (that'll teach'em.)

I was off today and the weather channel told me I had an hour and a half before the next rain storm. I called my next door husband and asked if I could borrow his jack.

By this point he has me on a "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. He didn't ask what I needed the jack for and I didn't tell him . (Saving up for that blown head gasket...smart girl.)

I took Massey to guard practice and when I got home Zach had ole Johhny jacked up. We took the tire off and I headed to the tire place. The guys at B&L Tire and I are on a first name basis...before I met my next door husband I was up there twice a month with a flat lawn mower tire for them to pump up...until I discovered with a little muscle I could pump them up with our bicycle pump (am I a thinker or what? -DON'T ANSWER THAT ONE.)

It's also the place where I buy my car tires and get my brakes done. The owner is a super nice guy who has helped me out many times. One time when I had my brakes replaced he said I needed new tires badly. I told him I knew that but Tim didn't get paid until the following week. He put four new tires on my car and told me to post date a check for two weeks. He didn't cash it for three (smart man.)

When I went in today I was devastated to find out he had left two hours ago for vacation and I was left holding my tire talking to a big ole man behind the counter I had never met.

Smart me, I asked where James had gone on vacation, threw his wife and daughter's name into the conversation and chatted him up about how long I had been using B&L Tire.

BINGO!! He called "Pepe" in from the bay, handed him my baby's tire and said "Fix this ." I asked him if I should come back tomorrow for it and he said it would be done in ten minutes.

While I waited I brought him up to speed on Johnny's story and he told me I should have come there in the first place. He said they had ANY kind of tire and were a lot less exspensive than Tractor Supply. I thought to myself "Don't ask my next door husband...he'll tell you that you'll regret telling me ."

Ten minutes later, Pepe came back in with my tire and said "No leaking. You want I put tube in?"

My new best friend said "Not if it ain't leaking."

I did a happy dance in my head and I think I may have jumped up and down a little bit clapping my hands together quickly.

I asked him how much I owed and he said "Nothin'...just go on home and cut some grass."

I immediately responded "I think I love you."

I got a strange look from Pepe but the big ole guy behind the counter just chuckled and said "You love that mower, don't ya?" I told him I loved it almost as much as my husband, to which he replied "You ain't gettin' rid of your old man are ya?" I told him no but if one of them had to go it'd be a hard choice.

Fifteen minutes later I was home . The tire was on (thank you, Zach) and I was cuttin' some grass! I WILL admit that I gave the tire a little kiss and whispered in his axle when Zach took the jack down and the tire remained inflated. Zach mumbled something about how stupid I was and went in the house. I jumped on Johnny and took off.

When I was cutting the front yard, my next door husband came outside and gave me a thumbs up. I held onto the steering wheel with one hand and waved my other one above my head in circles like I was riding a bucking bronco. He just shook his head and smiled.

Front yard cut. Side yard cut. Back yard cut. Tire still holding.

It's the little things in life that make me really happy.

I may cut the entire subdivision tomorrow...

Til next time...CUTTIN' FOR REAL COTTON

What The "HEY" ???

OH...you GOTTA stop and click on the top picture first, go ahead...do it now.

The second picture (the one of Tim) can wait...just wanted you to see what came in the mail today...my "death sentence."

How dare they? How COULD they? What the 'HEY' ?

I'm not turning fifty for eight LONG weeks, yet they couldn't wait to send me my 'membership' card early, probably snickering "Tee-Hee-Hee" as they dropped it in the mail box.

I was telling the owner's son at work that I received my "card" today and he said with that dry humor that I NOW hate " Membership comes with benefits." I quickly came back with "What? Half price Depends and discounts on Estrogen?" A lot he knows...he is only 32 and acts 19.

I refuse to open the envelope. I refuse to believe that I am turning fifty 2 days and one sixth of a year from now. Doesn't that seem like a LONG time ? It sure does to me!

I've always thought of myself as being young at heart, a little older looking in the face (all that yard work in the sun) but still weigh what I did in high school and have a hair cut that makes me feel "Spunky."

It's bad enough I have Capitol One and Chase breathing down my neck, now I have the AARP nipping at my heels. Yeah, my feet look old but that's just from 32 years of waiting tables and they only look bad if you look at the bottom of them...calluses and bunions on the bottom but always freshly painted toe nails on the top side that show in a cute pair of sandals ... I was lucky and inherited my Mom's cute feet...My Dad's (not so cute.)

What's up with these AARP folks? Are they rushing me like a sorority or losing members more quickly than they would like?

Whatever the reason...it ain't helping my ego!

I try not to think about turning half a century old, but am grateful to have made it this far. I don't FEEL fifty...except maybe after working a double shift at work with kids half my age who get off and party til the wee hours of the morning and get up and do it again (a Jackson Browne song comes to mind) ..."And when the morning light comes streaming in...I'll get up and do it again...Amen." (Don't sue me Jackson...I probably got it a little wrong but you get the gist.)

Most...no probably all the kids I work with don't even know who Jackson Browne is. When I was in my teens he was HOT...along with Dan Fogelberg , The Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. Hotel California...Rumors...what a GREAT time for music, what a great time to be young!

Now thirty years later I'm NOT so young...so says my biological clock. Who am I to believe a stinkin' fake clock?

I have teens that will still hang out with me..I even know who Ke$ha is...raised my oldest son knowing who Ludicris was and can still "Shake it like a polaroid picture." My kids keep me young..my ticking biological time bomb of a clock makes me scramble to get out of bed and put the radio on Q100 while I take the kids to school. I come home and put the radio in the kitchen on NPR while I clean up after breakfast and re connect with the real world but can switch back to Lady Ga Ga as soon as it is time to pick them up."Ooh La...Ooh la la la .."

Age is a state of mind. Age is what you feel. You either feel old as dirt or feel like you can live forever. I'll go with the "Live forever" route.

Next time I get a letter from the AARP, I may stamp it "Return to sender...address unknown" Yeah I remember Elvis too, but I was "Really young" then!

Til next time...hangin' on to my youth for dear life...COTTON

SCHOOL'S OUT (Almost)

How has an entire gone by this quickly?
This past year has been like a roller coaster ride... fast , furious and very often a "Scream Machine."

Tomorrow is the last day of school for my kids. The next day is the first day of their summer.

To be quite honest I am surprised it has gone by so quickly and even more surprised that I made it through the ride.

By the grace of God and the love of friends and family...I finally heard the words at the end of the ride... "Watch your knees and exit to your left."

The ride is over...of course we are still shaking from the ride and our stomachs still feel kind of funny but we "Survived the ride" and have lived to tell the story!

Massey just ended her freshman year of high school...Zach made it through another year of battling the (in his mind) corrupt world of teachers and administrators who surprisingly I didn't have to meet with even ONE time this year (my baby boy is growing up...or getting smarter about working the system instead of bucking it) either way it was a relief.

Massey loves school. Zach seems to think it is a plot.

Different strokes for different folks.

All three of my kids are totally different from each other...it leaves me to wonder how many baby swaps can happen to one woman?

The school year started out crappy for me and quickly took a downhill turn. I didn't know a hill could be so long and steep and about halfway down I tripped, stumbled and fell the rest of the way.

I wound up in a heap, bruised battered and ready to give up.

Life is an amazing thing when you are loved. Life is a constant surprise but if you have faith in God...you always survive the ride and one day look back and say "That was pretty scary, but it's over now and I'm okay."

My kids were oblivious through the first part of my ride...by the time I was going up that last steep hill, knowing this was 'the big one' I had my Mom arms instinctively flung across my kid's chests preparing them for the worst part.

We made it down that hill, with my arms holding them securely and many, many helping arms reaching out to do the same.

When we made it safely down THAT hill, my old employer informed me that the ride had just added one more hill and "This one's a doozy."

The "Doozy" almost did me in. That's when I felt arms reaching from every direction across my OWN chest. That's when I felt the biggest outpouring of love and concern I have ever experienced in my half century on this earth.

That is when I realized that love not only conquers all...but feels pretty darn good. That is when I realized who my true friends were and realized that I had friends that I didn't even KNOW who would protect me against the downhill spiral part of the ride and deliver me safely back to the platform..."Watch your knees and exit to your left."
The left has never felt so RIGHT!

I have realized a few important things:
"Karma" is real.
"Friendship" is precious.
"Faith" is essential and powerful.

I survived, my family survived and I have made many new friends who I now consider part of my family...my family of friends that showed me it was just a ride...just a bump in the road...it wasn't the end, just a detour.

I'm not big on detours, I have little patience and an "A" type personality that didn't take being at the bottom of the hill lightly. I have learned humility and I have learned to accept help. I have learned that my years of helping others has paid off...in a HUGE way.

Massey has lacked for nothing this year...even when we were worried about losing our house, friends family and guard moms made sure she enjoyed every experience with the guard just like the other girls did. They made sure we had food to eat in our house and made sure Massey was a part of every event.

This year has flown by...sometimes we were flying against the jet stream and just as quickly we had it at our back.

I have a lot of paying back and paying forward to do...I just feel lucky to be here to start doing it! I've always loved a challenge anyway...just didn't expect one this big.

As you can see from the pictures, Massey hasn't missed out on anything. She had a great year...(yeah, she worried for a while) but all my family and friends and even strangers made it happen for her...therefore making it happen for me.

She went to her first prom, she had a great year in guard and experienced everything her freshman year that she needed to.


She has friends from guard, from chorus and even from other schools that love her and she loves them just as fiercely.

She has grown up from the little girl in the denim dress with Morning Glory's behind her into a young woman with many friends beside her.

She is a lucky young woman and I am just glad to be along for the ride.

You never know when a Mom will be needed to fling her protective arm across her kid's chest...but thanks to many I am still able to do that and grateful for when they all flung their arms protectively across mine.

Enjoy your summer, enjoy your life and stop to thank someone who has helped you...it may be YOU that needs help one day...That is "KARMA" my friend, that is the "Golden Rule" ...All lessons in life, all words to live by, all things I am sincerely grateful for.

Looking forward to a good summer and a better year in 2010.

Thankful for the people that pushed Massey and helped me survive her pushing MY buttons like most 14 year old girls do.

Thankful for the incredible people that have come into my life this past year and thankful for the blessings God has given me.

Thankful that this school year is over..."Stick a fork in me, I'm DONE!!"

Countin' some blessings...COTTON

As always...click on the pictures for a better view!

The Wheels on the Deere Go Round and Round...

SHEESH!! Talk about major surgery with multiple complications...I think Johnny flat lined a couple of times...no wait a minute, maybe that was me!
My last update had ole Johnny boy flat as a flit and sitting lop sided in his bed room...I mean my garage. I finally broke down and went to buy a new rear tire. The old tire had more plugs than tread and was a rolling exhaust fan. It's pretty bad when you can see the holes in the side wall and they are too big to hold TWO plugs put in together. Fix a Flats are great but they were only band aids that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller until it was like putting on one of those little circle band aids a doc puts on your arm after a shot. Unfortunately John Deere tires ain't cheap but compared to a Fix a Flat every time I cut the grass it was a MUCH better investment. Zach helped me get the tire off (another story all together) and I took it with me to Tractor Supply to prevent me from getting the wrong tire or wrong size...been there, done that. Thirty four dollars later I was home with a new tire and no clue as to how to mount it on the rim. Of course it was a Sunday and the tire stores with their fancy dancy tire mounting thingy were all closed. I did what comes natural...called my 'next door' husband. Believe it or not he hadn't had his number changed or my number blocked (yet) and even actually had the cajones to answer...Ya GOTTA love that man! He told me to come over and Massey and I trotted next door with the old tire still on the rim and the new tire. Being flatter than a pancake the old tire came off the rim pretty easily (compared to the next part.) About a half gallon of sealant goop came out of the old tire and luckily he had done this part in the grass. He cleaned the rim up like it was brand spanking new and then the hard part began. It took him a good fifteen minutes to get one side of the new tire on the rim and then he said "Okay, that was the easy part." The next part took more like twenty minutes and when he finally dragged out his air compressor out of his garage I thought Thank you , Jesus (and 'next door hubby.') The tire wasn't completely sealed around the rim and the air didn't help any at all. Being the genius he is he said "I saw a show one time on TV about truckers and how when they changed a flat on a big rig they sprayed starter fluid on the tire and lit it. The heat makes the tire expand and it pops onto the rim...wanna try it?" Massey and I both vigorously nodded and I sent up a silent prayer that it worked...not so much for me but for my neighbor who had just spent over half an hour helping me to fix his rival for my affection.."Johnny Dear." He told us to stand back and we both backed up about twenty feet (yeah, we're sissies.) After spraying the tire he held a match to it and it was like a small atom bomb went off..."WHOOSH." About two seconds later the tire gave a loud "POP" and the tire was sealed on the rim. It took him a couple of seconds to beat the flame out with a rag but it had worked! I told Massey in amazement "Dang...Mr. Ron's kinda like a wizard !" He just laughed and said "Yeah, that potion worked pretty good!" He inflated the tire with his compressor and asked if we needed any help putting the tire back on...I would've had to been blind , bedridden and hooked to a respirator before I would have even CONSIDERED saying "Yes." I thanked him about fifteen times and told him putting the tire back on would be easy. Massey and I trotted back across the yard and went into my garage to show Johnny his new appendage. I've never seen a lawn mower smile but he definitely looked happier to me. I had been using my huge Christmas tree stand as a jack (yeah, I'm a ghetto mechanic) and John was sitting on it now. Problem was with the new inflated tire he wasn't QUITE far enough off the ground to slip the new tire on. No problem...that's what 17 year old sons who sit around the house are for! Zach came out to the garage and lifted John's 400 pound butt off the tree stand so I could slip the new tire on. "With this tire...I thee wed" was going through my mind as it slipped on his axle. "Throw some bird seed and rice on me as I drive out of the garage" I wanted to say to Zach , as I jumped on my baby and cranked him up! Put him in gear... and AWAY WE (didn't)GO. @#$%! I tried reverse...still "No go." I told Massey, who had come out to wave me off on my maiden voyage to give me a push hoping the gears would catch or maybe I would just "Catch a break" and the gears would engage. Once I rolled down the drive I was leaning forward in a "GO GO GO' type of lurch just praying for a miracle. I Guess God was telling me my "miracle" balance was low so Massey and I pushed the mower back into the garage and I went inside to sulk. I got on the computer and googled the John Deere discussion board. For Pete's sake there were 16 pages of discussion topics and it took me 30 minutes to find anything helpful. One guy wrote that his JD wouldn't move and another guy had written back "Have you recently replaced a rear tire?" I clicked on the follow up comments and there were none. I guess they were keeping the solution a secret but at least I knew I was going in the right direction. I went into work the next night and was picking the cook's brains while they were pounding the crap out of the Veal, Chicken and Beef on the prep table. One of them said there was probably a reset button or toggle switch that incapacitated the transmission when a wheel fell off or was removed for safety purposes. Sounded good to me so when I went home from work tried googling THAT topic. No hits. But I came across a topic about replacing the pin into the axle before putting a rear tire back on. HMMM. Interesting, considering I didn't remember a pin when Zach took the tire off. After talking to my brother in law this morning I went out to the garage and sure 'nough...there was a two inch metal pin on the garage floor! I had seen it yesterday when getting in my car for work and thinking it was a nail, kicked it out of the way thinking "I don't need a flat on my car too!" My brother in law came over with a "Real" jack and took the tire off, put the pin in the axle and put the tire back on. This time I think I heard Johnny actually giggle...or maybe that was just me. Hopped on my yellow seat, cranked him up and put it in reverse..."GO JOHNNY GO...JOHNNY BE GOOD !!!"Success at long last! Only at MY house, can a flat tire be a blog a pain in the butt and an amusing antedote all rolled into one. Til next time..."CUTTIN AGAIN COTTON"

On the Right Track and Never Looking Back

Just got home from work. Slept in this morning after a ten hour double shift yesterday, got up and jumped on my "Johnny Dear" and cut my yard and my next door neighbor's. He still has a bum tire but with yet another Fix a Flat he made it through. Tomorrow I work a lunch shift and will go buy some new plugs and see if I can salvage the tire.

I thought about going to Wal Mart tonight after work to buy the plugs so I could do it before work but the thought of Wal Mart at 11:30 PM kinda made me feel queasy ...actually the thought of going to Wal Mart at ANY time makes me feel queasy. The day time crowd isn't all that great and the closer it gets to midnight the slimmer your chances of survival are. Some customers at Wal Mart tend to rub me the wrong way and I have had several confrontations that embarrassed my daughter beyond belief. Like the man smacking his four year kid in the head because he forgot to brush his teeth. I didn't hesitate to walk right over and ask if he'd like it if I smacked him around? I followed up with a verbal tirade about if he treated his kid like this out in public, what kind of treatment was this child getting behind the doors of his home. I finished up with a group of people staring at me, Massey slipping off to act like she wasn't with me and a couple of people actually backing me up. My next episode was with a woman screeching into an empty parking space that I had my blinker on for and calling me a "bitch" after she got out as I continued to sit in my car with my blinker on with my hands up in the air signaling "What gives?" The 'bitch' remark almost made my head explode and unfortunately Massey was with me once again...already running for another entrance to put as much distance between her and me as possible. I'll never forget, it was Easter Sunday and we were there to pick up an Easter basket for my brother in law who was in the hospital recovering from open heart surgery. I passed the ole biddy several times while I was inside the store and every time said "I hope you have a GREAT Easter" or "Enjoy this beautiful day." Massey was mortified...my own mother often mortified me when I was a tween, so Massey was just catching up with my own experiences with my mother who was a LOT like me.

Anyhoo...decided I didn't want to face the nuts tonight and just went home.

Work was great tonight! I'm catching on so much that you'd think I worked there! I'm getting faster on the computer and learning something new every shift. One of the dinner specials tonight was"Spring Rack of Lamb." Herb marinated 1/2 rack of lamb grilled and served with tzatzil, couscous and goat cheese and asparagus wrapped in phyllo . It was the prettiest dish on a plate I have ever seen. The chefs at this place are truly incredible and the dinner specials are always amazing. Come try some "Salmon & Shrimp Cartoccio"...Fresh salmon and shrimp baked in parchment paper with capers, black olives, tomatoes, shallots, basil and linguine .

My last job was a 'cookie cutter' type restaurant...this place is some "GOOD Eatin' with a flair."

In the words of a song I learned at the age of five in Sunday School.."I'm on the right track and I'm never looking back."

Tim and I have come a long way...we have a long way to go, but now I know we are on the right track and our train is headed in the right direction.

Gotta work in the morning and fix my "Johnny" in the afternoon so I can finish the cutting at the subdivision entrance.

Life is good. Life is hard...but stick with it, persevere and it will all work out. God is good. God makes it hard, but persevere and HE will make it all work out.

Til next time...Persevering COTTON

Some Men Just Aren't Thinkers...

Oh, you GOTTA click on these pictures...and "NO" none of them are of MY husband. The swimming pool shot cracked me up and is exactly something my two sons would do.

The kid stuck in the chair is almost exactly like something my sister's son did when he was younger except it involved HIS head and the wrought iron bars of a fence.

Some men just aren't thinkers!

Case in point: Yesterday a horrible tragedy happened to my boyfriend "John Dear." I was all ready to cut the front of the subdivision when I noticed Johnny's front tire was looking a little low. I found my can of Fix a Flat...half empty! Tim has a slow leak in one of the tires on his car and has been mooching out of "Johnny's" emergency can. I shook it and thought maybe there was enough to fill the small tire on the mower (I'll fuss at Tim later.)

All gassed up and 'flat fixed' I putted to the front of the subdivision and started cutting. About ten minutes in I happened to look down and ole Johnny boy's tire was not only flat but loose from the rim. DANG!!

It was almost time to pick the kids up from school so I parked Johnny , took the key out and hoofed it back to the house.

After I picked the kids up I stopped off for a new can of Fix a Flat and headed back home. Zach and I tried to fill the tire but it wasn't on the rim enough and couldn't seal. DANG #2!

Massey had to go back to the school for guard practice and Tim was taking her, so when they drove past me at the front of the subdivision I told Tim to get me another can of "Fix" and told Zach to go borrow my 'next door husband's' jack. Zach drove the jack up in my car and we jacked ole Johnny off the ground so we could try and get the tire back on the rim. It wasn't easy by any means...I've learned over the past year NOTHING is easy if you're a Cotton these days.

Zach helped me get the tire back on the rim and jumped in a car with his buddies as they turned into the subdivision and took off for parts unknown...I think I heard them burn rubber turning out onto the main street. Zach probably said "Hurry or she'll think of something else for me to do."

Pouring with sweat I found a spot of shade to wait in for Tim to return with my Fix a Flat. Here he finally came...driving slow as a granny and in nobodies hurry. He rolled the window down to hand me the can when I told him he had to wait and take the jack back to the neighbor's once I got the tire pumped up. I shot ole Johnny up with some sealant and told Tim to lower the jack. He looked at the jack like it was a nuclear bomb he had to dismantle and after about ten seconds said he couldn't figure out how to lower the jack. For Pete's sake...

He saw the look on my face (the one that said I didn't know how to either but at least I was a woman) and just picked up the back end of my 400 pound lawnmower off the jack and sat it on the ground. (I guess he IS somewhat of a thinker.)

I jumped on Johnny and took off. Fix a Flat was spewing out of the side of the tire and I thought to myself "Houston, we have a problem."

Tim had already loaded up the jack and headed down the street...thinking like Zach "Let me get outta here before she wants some MORE help."

I knew I had to drive ole Johnny boy home before all the Fix a Flat was gone or I'd be pushing a 400 pound mower back to the house on my own and be pretty ticked off by the time I got there.

Putting down the street with Fix a Flat spewing like Silly String I barely made it back to the house before the tire came off of the rim again. No more "Dang"..it was definitely a "Damn."

I went to my next door husband's house to borrow back the tire plugs his son had borrowed from me last week. They are these sticky gluey strips that you thread with a huge needle type tool to plug a hole. My next door husband was already laughing at me putting down the street with foam squirting out of my tire ( we may get a next door divorce) and asked if I needed help. I told him thanks but I knew how to plug a tire.

My husband was still over there talking with my next door husband, returning his jack when I borrowed the plugs. Tim said "Man, those look pretty nifty, do you think you could put one of those in MY tire?" He was talking to my next door neighbor...NOT me. I rolled my eyes at my neighbor and took my gluey stick of plug to go back over to my house and fix my Johnny boy.

Turns out Tim didn't have a slow leak, he had two nails stuck in his tire. My neighbor fixed both of them and I plugged up ole Johnny.

Some men are good at cooking breakfast and vacuuming when you bitch enough. Some men are handy men and can fix anything.

Tim and I are a mix...he won't try to fix anything and there is nothing I won't try to fix. Guess it all works out in the long run.

To his credit, he is an EXCELLENT vacuumer and can make some mean home fried potatoes with breakfast.

Is it just me or does my life seem to be a sitcom waiting to happen?

At least we know who the "Director" will be...

Til next time...Johnny's girlfriend

Choose Your Battles Wisely...Especially With Teens

I was going to let you try to guess WHICH bed room wasn't in MY house but I guess the pictures of Massey in them gives it away. Her room looks pretty much like the room I down loaded from Google images...minus the ladder. Although there MAY be a ladder somewhere in Massey's room and it just hasn't been uncovered yet.

The picture she took of herself is her room on a good day (there aren't many of those.)

Zach came upstairs to go to bed and I had the overhead light on in Massey's room taking these pictures.

He said in that sweet way he has "That would tick me off."

Well, "tick' wasn't the exact word he used but that's another battle completely.

I really have no room to talk (small pun intended.) When I was younger my room made Massey's look like a ' Better Homes and Garden' shoot .

I lived in squalor from the age of ten until I left for college. My mother would walk by my room when I was a kid during the summer and say "Clean your room or you can't go to the pool."

If you grew up in East Point in the 60's and 70's...not being able to go to the swimming pool was like a death sentence. My parents bought a family pass every summer...$15 for the entire family of five...and that was a big deal back then.

Every morning we would wake up and walk with our friends to the pool, about a mile away ... get there as swimming lessons ended and stay until the pool closed at six.

If my mom had 'one of those mornings' and demanded I clean my room before leaving, I did just that. To a ten year old girl, that means taking every thing and shoving it under the bed.

What wouldn't fit under the bed got pushed into my closet. I'd think to myself "She'll NEVER look under the bed or open the closet door.

She always just said "Okay, go" and after I left looked under my bed and in my closest and just decided to have a Kool Mild and a glass of iced tea and talk on the phone with her best friend complaining about what a slob I was for an hour or so.

HEY! At least I was out of her hair for the entire day.

That's pretty much the reason I let Massey get away with it.

I did, why shouldn't she?

She makes good grades has a huge heart...and like her mama an even bigger mouth.

Zach on the other hand has turned my short hair gray with worry but keeps his room neat as a pin...whereas Massey's is a "Pen.'

I remember when Zach was in middle school and grew his hair out longer than Cousin It on the Addams Family.
He went from that to a Mohawk with liberty spikes. I brought it up to his pediatrician at the time and the wise doctor told me something that has helped me maintain what little sanity I have left. "When raising teens, choose your battles wisely."

When it comes to my kids, that is the mantra I now live by.

Zach grew out of the Mohawk stage pretty quickly (another pun) and has finally realized he is his own worst enemy in school. His grades have shot up and yesterday got the highest grade on the final exam in his Geometry class. He is on his way to graduating on time and finally utilizing the intelligence he has been blessed with (maybe there was a baby swap at the hospital...but he's MINE now.)

Massey is a train wreck in the house keeping department but has blossomed into a wonderful young woman that makes my heart full every time I see her face. I don't care that her room looks like the DEA just tossed it looking for a shipment or that her closest looks like Katrina blew through.

"Choose your battles wisely."

Long stringy hair can be cut.

A room can be cleaned (and fumigated.)

To have teens love and respect you is worth that and MUCH more.

It's nothing that a blower, garbage bag and shop vac can't take care of...and as far as Zach is concerned, I always have those clippers charged for when he decides on that 'buzz cut.'

They both still love me...granted it is hard to feel sometimes. With teens a tiny glimpse of hope is like a huge open window to a Mother .

I love my kids. I make them mad a lot of the time...but even if I make them mad for the next two years...they will thank me for it when they are thirty.

It's like what my mother told me two weeks before she died when I was seventeen.

"The older you get, the smarter I will seem."

Til next time..."waiting for them to get older" COTTON

PS You gotta click on the pics to get the jest of THIS blog!

Getting Used to This "Day Off" Thing

For almost 13 years I worked at LEAST six days a week. For the first seven years I was at Longhorn I worked seven days a week. Monday through Friday at the elementary school my younger two attended and Friday, Saturday and Sunday at Longhorn.

Having this new job is like getting a reprieve on my life expectancy.

I still work six shifts a week but have two entire days off to myself. I can work in the yards, go places with my kids or do absolutely nothing.

Work was slow tonight and I got off right after 9:30.I didn't break the bank tonight but working in such a refreshing atmosphere sometimes makes me feel like I should be paying THEM.

The owners are nice to me, the cooks are nice...dishwashers, ditto. Every one from the front of the house to the back of the house is a pleasure to work with and I am finally feeling like I fit in.

Being in debt for a year will take some time to recover from, but at least I am recovering in a friendly environment and actually LIKE going into work.

The customers are even nicer. I know that sounds crazy but it's true. It's a different clientele we have (a MUCH better one) and the pace is slower and more of a dining experience than a "Dinner."

I have learned more about wines than I ever thought I would and learn something new every shift...even if it is just a good joke!

Why I didn't leave the big corporation thing years ago seems stupid to me now. I don't mean to say it is all roses at the new place. Sometimes tensions run high, it gets busy and nerves are on edge but in the end we are a team. The other place was more like a competition..."let's see who gets to keep their job today."

At my old job I worked with so many lazy people that I spent half my time doing other people's work just so things would run a little bit smoother. Now I am in a place where I can focus on MY job and know that others are doing the same. At my old job managers were so busy that they never noticed the lazy people but just expected the hard workers to make it all happen. At my new job, my managers are the owners and see EVERYTHING , EVERYBODY and will call you out in a New York minute if you aren't pulling your weight. That's the main reason it all runs so smoothly. They aren't worried about crunching the numbers or getting people off the time clock...they are worried about the guests and making every attempt to do what ever it takes to give every guest the ultimate dining experience.

As far as my home life...actually haven't had anything wacky happen in a day or two (I must be due.)

Tim and I are going to Consumer Credit Counseling to try and get some bills paid off. When the axe fell, we hung onto the house and the utilities but didn't even consider paying credit cards first. Now the interest rates have sky rocketed and even though we haven't charged anything in over a year it is out of control.

After a while you get used to when to pick up the phone and when NOT to. Even the kids will say "It's Florence, Kentucky...don't pick up!" That would be Capitol One.

DFS Is Dell Financial services. We bought Massey a lap top for Christmas two years ago and were paying it off nicely ...when the axe fell. Be realistic...am I going to make my mortgage or pay Dell? Now I owe them enough that I should have a lap top in every room in the house.

"It's DFS, Don't pick up!"

Heck, I've even gotten to where I will say "It's Children's Miracle Network...Don't pick up!"

Not that I don't want to help them but afraid I would end up asking them to add my kid's names to THEIR list!

I am not a person that squanders money away...but a person that knows her limitations and priorities. Number one...keep a roof over our heads. Number two...try to have lights and water in the roof over our heads. Number three...food on the table. Number four...pay my debts off as soon as I reasonably can.

For months Tim had no income. Now we both have decent jobs that both have bright futures. Before you know it, we'll be answering the phone again!

With the help of family, friends and even strangers we have been able to keep our house, had food to eat and been given breathing room. I owe so many people thanks and have tried to pay it forward as much as I can at this point in time. Lucky for us we only have two credit cards to pay off and many friends that have helped us out financially and personally. I feel my personal debt is quite bigger than my credit card debt...and since these people obviously love me, maybe they won't jack up my interest rate!

Thanks to my friends and family...I am in a good place now. Thanks to our new jobs we have the means to start digging out.

Having all of this happen to us used to be a weight on my already bony shoulders. Now I feel the sweet breeze of friendship and can smell the promise of a much brighter tomorrow. There are so many guard moms that have taken Massey under their wing and made sure she never felt like an outsider. Not only that, they put groceries in my kitchen when I couldn't...brought my girl home from competitions or practice when I was at work or just let her stay the night at their house.

Friendship is an amazing and wonderful gift ... one that I cherish and never take lightly.

I am a fifty year old woman who has learned more about life and friendship in the past year than I have the entire half century I have been alive.

God is good...family and friends are a close second.

Tomorrow is Massey's final chorus concert (for the year.) A day off for me...one to spend the day in the yard and the night with my girl. Thursday is my next day off...Massey's band banquet is THAT night. Last year was the first band banquet I attended and was blown away. The program she is in (color guard) is part of the amazing band program at East Coweta. The banquet is an eye opening experience. A great band director who genuinely loves these kids and it shows. The kids are amazing. They are an eclectic group within themselves...jocks, nerds, fat, skinny, popular, unpopular, even some in wheel chairs...but all have a common bond. They are a team...they are ECHS Marching Indians and if you ask me, they are one heckuva Tribe.

So life has thrown me some curves.

I have also been thrown many life lines and have grabbed onto them for dear life.

Thank you family, thank you friends and thank you strangers. The help was MUCH needed and will remain one of the things I will ALWAYS be grateful for...people loving me and people loving my kids.

I am a lucky woman. I am a woman who saw nothing but despair at one point...and like a beacon...you all showed me the way.

Hugs from the heart...COTTON

DANG...I am TIRED !

I feel like my sister's boxer LOOKS in this photo.



Friday I had to be at work at 11:30 AM to work the lunch shift. Got off at 4:20 and had to back on at 5:00.



I went home to trade cars with Tim so Zach could give my car a MUCH needed oil change. I gave the dogs some fresh water...Hey, it was only 90 degrees outside and there are three dogs, who'd expect anyone else in the house would think to give them a big fresh bowl of water at LEAST a couple of times a day? You know they are always panting anyway...guess they looked normal to the kids! They can always just lick the slobber off each other for hydration.



Went and cranked up Tim's car to go back to work...already sweating like a Ho in church when I remembered Tim's A/C didn't work in his car. OH GREAT!



By the time I got back to work I was sweating so bad in my long sleeved work shirt that I wish I still resembled the Ho in church condition I had left the house in.



I immediately got seated with a party of nine and fifteen minutes later a party of sixteen. Thankfully I was working both parties with a really good server who trained me (and they STILL kept him!)



Our restaurant computer system identifies us by our finger print on a pad mouse and sometimes it doesn't seem to read my print and allow me to ring in orders. I thought maybe it had to do with me burning off all my prints cooking pizzas for "Johnny's" for fifteen years when another server told me last weekend that the sensor needs for you to have some oil on your finger to read it. Since we all wash our hands about 30 times a night during a shift, I guess it washes away all the oil. She said sometimes she keeps a small beverage napkin by the computer with some olive oil on it to dab on her finger when the sensor won't read her print.



I was trying to ring in a nine top and then a sixteen top and the freaking sensor wouldn't read my finger print. Of course I had forgotten about the handy "bev nap" trick and was starting to get behind. I still have a hard time ringing in big orders quickly so I thought "What the heck" and wiped my finger across my forehead and tried the sensor pad again.



BINGO! Thank the Lord I was like a greased pig...the computer recognized my print and I got all my orders in on time. Disgusting? Yes. Resourceful? Heck yeah!



Got through both parties when the owner told me I was on a party of 14 in the private room for a surprise birthday party..."SURPRISE, YOU SWEATY PIG!"



I worked this party with another server that had trained me as well (HEY, they even made her head waitress in addition to keeping HER.)



They had a crown for the birthday girl to wear, a feather boa and had the table all decorated for her arrival. When the birthday girl finally arrived, she was a short very heavy set girl stuffed into a strapless poodle skirt sun dress who when seeing all her friends starting jumping up and down and reminding me of Nikki Blonsky in "Hairspray."



They were a nice bunch...a bit eclectic..very gay and look who they got for a server....ME!! I already look gay with my hair cut and the Liberal roots of my parents loins from which I sprang let me fit right into their party. I am by NO means "Homophobic" but the opposite. They were all so excited about "Nikki's" birthday and I was glad they chose our place and the owner had chosen me to serve them. Most all of them had been servers (another plus.)



Unlucky for me, they were in no kind of a hurry. I had been there since 11:30, they got seated at 7:30 and at 11:30 most of them were still there. Nikki had bounced all over the room in her by now obvious "Fake" boa. There were black feathers all over the floor from one end of the room to the other. They finally paid their tab about 10:30 and I thought I finally saw light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunate for me it was a freight train barrelling down the tracks. They seemed to settle in to wait for her birthday to roll around once again.



By this point I had used up all the grease on my forehead and was just ready to "GO."

They didn't leave until after 11:30...we close at 10:30. A couple of times they asked "Are we holding you up?' I told them (like a good server) "Not at all." I felt like saying "No, my aching legs are holding me up, but BARELY...and y'all save something to chat about in the car!!"



When they were having their last round of drinks , the bartender walked by and commented on all the black feathers from the fake boa on the floor saying it looked like someone had just had a hair cut. I told her that not ONE woman in that room was in need of a haircut...my hair was longer than most of theirs.



They finally rolled out, happy and full. They tipped us really well, I know they had a good time and it wasn't THEIR fault I had just finished my twelfth hour on my feet with my greasy forehead.



It took a good twenty minutes to sweep up the boa scraps and another ten minutes to return the room to its former condition.



I got home after midnight...mainly because Massey text me and said she needed to be picked up from her friend's house. Luckily I absolutely love the girl and her family and after 12 hours on my feet, it felt good to just SIT in a car. Especially since Zach had returned MY car to work and taken his dad's "Ovenmobile" back home after the oil change.



Just another day in my life...



Til next time "Greasy Cotton"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY..."Franny"

So today is Frances' birthday!!

The most wonderful new addition to our family. I met her a few years back at the family reunion at my sister's house. This was back when my Dad was still alive and I really don't remember much about her at the reunion. Massey was still pretty young and I had to leave during the reunion to go work the Fall festival at the elementary school
where both my younger kids still attended.

When she first really burst on the scene in my life was when she had a botched medical procedure and had to go to a re hab facility after open heart surgery. Her nieces were worried about her being alone and my sister and I promised them both that we would keep a close eye on her since we were the only relatives living close by.

What a blessing that botched procedure turned out to be!

My sister and I took turns visiting and often met each other in Frances' room at re hab. We grew to know this woman and immediately fell in love with her.

Massey went with me on many trips over and even Zach went a few times.

The stories from Frances' stint in re hab still make me laugh (probably the people in the re hab office not so much) but it was a couple of months of getting to know Frances and finding a new member of the family that we couldn't do without with now.


She has wheedled her way into our hearts and has a special place in our soul.

She makes us laugh and makes us realize what a determined person can do...no matter what your age or condition ...it is all in your mind set, your faith and your willingness to strive and survive.

Frances is one of the most incredible women I have ever met. My whole family has fallen in love with this latest addition to the family tree. We have seen what she is capable of and have all been amazed at what she can do when she sets her mind to it.

She's a pistol.. and she shoots it straight.

When I was having a pity party over losing my job and drowning in debt..she told me "Enough of the negative!" You know what? She was sooo right!

When you're down...don't look down...look UP!

She is a country woman with country values and country morals.

That makes for an exceptional human being in my book and I am sure God has her a penthouse reserved upstairs for when she finally kicks it in 30 years!

She is savvy on the computer and even savvier with her wit. She is a fireball that will put you in your place in a heart beat and will love you like no body's business.

She is one of the reasons that I got off my sorry butt and got back to the real world when I lost my job and thought I was losing my mind.

So she is turning forty today...LOL...LMBO..ROTFL (I'll get back to you ,Frances with all this 'Massey' speak) and I have the incredible honor of knowing, loving and admiring this woman who can jump over hurdles like they are pebbles in the road of life.

She is sharp as a tack and can prick you with that tack when you need it.

She encourages you and slaps you around when you need it.

I really think my Mother is sighing in relief up in Heaven knowing that God sent Frances our way.

Happy Birthday, Frances and "Thank you" for giving ME a gift...the gift of getting to know you and reaping the reward of your years of wisdom and practicality.

You are so dear and special to all of us..."Where the heck WERE you all this time before we met ...Bingo?"

Have a wonderful day and know that our "Leach" family is glad they have finally gotten a matriarch back.

Keep cracking the whip and we'll keep saying "Yes Ma'am!!"

Much love to you...and give yourself a pat on the back...you are an incredible woman and I hope I can someday be half the woman you are.

Much love and big hugs....(the stripper I hired should be there by four, I told him you ate dinner early)

Thanking you for loving ME ....COTTON

Having Teens That Like to Hang Out With You is Awesome

Massey added this picture of her huge ice pack from therapy!!

The picture above is of my childhood home. A place full of memories and a house that will ALWAYS be my home no matter who owns or lives in it. We rode by it on the way home today.

Today was another day trip to take Massey for therapy at Children's Healthcare (a FANTASTIC place.) Once she gets there , Zach and I have an hour and a half to cruise around Lenox and look at where we wish we lived! The neighborhoods are beautiful...two blocks off of Lenox Road and you are surrounded by huge Oak trees. After we go back and pick her up, it is after 6:00 and there is NO WAY I am getting on the downtown connector. It was bad enough on the drive up after school. Once you get to the Grady curve you never get over 40MPH until the 75/85 split.

So instead we headed over via side streets to Little Five Points for a slice of pizza and a slice of life you can find no where except little Five. Street musicians, people on unicycles, homeless people, freaks, families and plain ole folks.

RAGORAMA is our favorite hangout...you can look around for hours and never get bored. We found a new pair of "Uniform" pants for Zach to wear to school and wandered around a bit more.

There is a small park at the corner of Euclid and Moreland where the homeless claim all the benches as their own and nobody argues with them. I saw an exchange of cash going down and knew what what was going on but said nothing to the kids. We hung out in Wax N Facts for a while. Walking in there is like stepping back into 1968 and a fun place to browse the myriad of cardboard boxes and see albums you haven't seen since high school.

We left to see the people who had been doing the cash swapping all sitting on a bench hand cuffed by an APD officer. Obviously someone didn't appreciate them rolling a joint at their self claimed bench.

I told the kids "Hey, at least they all have a bed for the night now."

Massey had come out of therapy with an ice pack as big as a cantaloupe plastic wrapped around her knee and we stopped to pull it off after all the ice had melted. I bet five different people asked her what was wrong and a few wanted to hear the entire story.

At Little Five Pizza, the guy who took our order had a Tat on every part of his body that we could see and was one of the nicest people we have ever met. He wanted to know about the knee, about the therapy and wanted to know WHY she needed therapy. The guy behind us in line was in a wheel chair with one tiny shriveled leg...needed no help maneuvering in the place or getting in and out of the door and got no stares from any one. Nobody stares in Little Five. Nobody looks out of place in Little Five.

There are yuppies, moms like me, single dads...entire families and every other person is an eclectic and sometimes an extreme individual... that all blend together in this small corner of the world. Some are homeless and some are driving Maserati's. Every one is an equal in Little Five and I think that is one of my favorite things about the area.

The other is that I have two teenagers that will go there WITH me , walk the streets and cruise the shops...not walking five feet behind me like they are embarrassed to be seen with me but are glad to be there with me.

Chidren's Healthcare is an awesome place and they are taking GREAT care of my girl. The bonus is that Zach always wants to go too.

It's a really HARD work out for Massey...but therapy for all of us.

Kids are TOTALLY what you raise them to be. You can raise little snots or you can raise kids that are fun to be around even when they are teen agers.

They keep me young, they keep me on my toes, they keep me in debt but I wouldn't want it ANY OTHER WAY!

Kudos to Children's Healthcare...and Kudos to my kids!

So Zach doesn't look particularly happy in the above photo...it's just because he hasn't met the woman of his dreams yet that will shove him down the path of life.

Maybe he'll meet her in Little Five!!

Thank you Children's Healthcare for doing SO much for my girl, thank you Massey and Zach for loving your "OLE" mom and thank you Atlanta for having such a wonderful place for us to hang out and enjoy each other's company.

I just wish I would have asked the drag queen at RAGORAMA what shade eye shadow was he was wearing...I think it would have looked REALLY good on me!

What a fun day...if you can't enjoy being with your kids, you haven't done something right!

Til next time...CONTENTED COTTON