Friday, June 4, 2010

Sex And The Gritty

It's after 1:30 AM and I should really be headed to bed. Went into work at 11:30 AM and got off at 11:30 PM.

Lunch was smooth...slow but made great tips. My last table of two left me $11 on a $28 tab. Screamed home to leave some money for the hubby to buy gas for his trip to work and was back at work fifteen minutes later.

Our restaurant is next door to the new theater and Sex And The City is the big pull lately. Last week on opening night the bartender made at LEAST 50 Cosmopolitans and the Manola Blahniks were out in full force.
Tonight all the ladies that waited a week for the crowd to die down, strapped on their Manola's and came clomping in.

I had a party of thirty women with another server (thank the Lord a great server) and the madness began. Their reservation was for 6:30 so we were hoping to get them fed , drunk and out the door for the 8:00 show.

When they all clomped in, they began swapping seats swapping tables and became to all look the same with Manolas on their feet and a Cosmo in their hand. We told them at LEAST three times "If this is separate checks that's fine but you HAVE to stay in the same seat when ordering so we know who to charge."

Do you think they listened or even heard? That would be a BIG FAT "NO."

It escalated from a Hen pecking party to a full blown out fiasco. We managed to keep it under control until I asked one of the women "Should we take the order now so you won't be late to the movie?"

This is at 6:45 PM.

The woman said "No , we are going to the 10:10 show."

I think when she said that I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

For Pete's sake..they're gonna drive me crazy for 3 hours...take up my entire section of tables and expect me to be happy about it?

Bite the bullet, Kelly...go with the flow..make lemonade when you're handed lemons (even if they ARE wearing knock off "Blahniks." )

They were nice, they really were (except for a couple of rotten apples thrown in for spice.)

The table swapping continued and you would have thought they were "speed dating" each other. .. five minutes at THIS table and "ON to the next round."

Once they finally ordered, I was in the back trying to get all the salads out when another server "CLOCKED" me right in the temple with the salad cooler door...a stainless steel tank of a door that not only brought tears to my eyes but made me nauseous. I tried to fight back the tears (just like my attacker was doing...she was MORTIFIED) and trudged back to the party with salads on my arm and tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Keep going...keep going...get'em outta here" was what I heard in my banging head and felt in my throbbing temple.

I thought "I NEED a drink NOW."

The seat swapping continued, the table swapping escalated as the liquor kicked in.

Head throbbing...a co worker feeling so guilty she probably wants to finish raising my kids (I might let her) and 30 Cosmos down the path..they suddenly all wanted their tabs.

It was a fiasco. It was a nightmare.

Luckily we pieced together checks and sent them on their "NOW Merry Way."

Come to find out..the seat swapping, the table hopping and the Manola clomping...was OUR demise. I bet there were $40 of unclaimed Cosmos...lots of "Happy Women" and two servers that got "Screwed to the wall."

It was nothing deliberate on their part, I am sure. But when you are a party of 30 all drinking the same cocktail and ordering from one seat to the know who gets screwed?

That's right...another night smushed against the windshield like a bug when all these ladies flutter off to the movie as the driver of the bus.

At least my head has quit throbbing, I had a couple of adult beverages to ease the pain and know that in the land of being a server..."Tomorrow will make up for tonight"....if I am lucky!

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