What The "HEY" ???

OH...you GOTTA stop and click on the top picture first, go ahead...do it now.

The second picture (the one of Tim) can wait...just wanted you to see what came in the mail today...my "death sentence."

How dare they? How COULD they? What the 'HEY' ?

I'm not turning fifty for eight LONG weeks, yet they couldn't wait to send me my 'membership' card early, probably snickering "Tee-Hee-Hee" as they dropped it in the mail box.

I was telling the owner's son at work that I received my "card" today and he said with that dry humor that I NOW hate " Membership comes with benefits." I quickly came back with "What? Half price Depends and discounts on Estrogen?" A lot he knows...he is only 32 and acts 19.

I refuse to open the envelope. I refuse to believe that I am turning fifty 2 days and one sixth of a year from now. Doesn't that seem like a LONG time ? It sure does to me!

I've always thought of myself as being young at heart, a little older looking in the face (all that yard work in the sun) but still weigh what I did in high school and have a hair cut that makes me feel "Spunky."

It's bad enough I have Capitol One and Chase breathing down my neck, now I have the AARP nipping at my heels. Yeah, my feet look old but that's just from 32 years of waiting tables and they only look bad if you look at the bottom of them...calluses and bunions on the bottom but always freshly painted toe nails on the top side that show in a cute pair of sandals ... I was lucky and inherited my Mom's cute feet...My Dad's (not so cute.)

What's up with these AARP folks? Are they rushing me like a sorority or losing members more quickly than they would like?

Whatever the reason...it ain't helping my ego!

I try not to think about turning half a century old, but am grateful to have made it this far. I don't FEEL fifty...except maybe after working a double shift at work with kids half my age who get off and party til the wee hours of the morning and get up and do it again (a Jackson Browne song comes to mind) ..."And when the morning light comes streaming in...I'll get up and do it again...Amen." (Don't sue me Jackson...I probably got it a little wrong but you get the gist.)

Most...no probably all the kids I work with don't even know who Jackson Browne is. When I was in my teens he was HOT...along with Dan Fogelberg , The Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. Hotel California...Rumors...what a GREAT time for music, what a great time to be young!

Now thirty years later I'm NOT so young...so says my biological clock. Who am I to believe a stinkin' fake clock?

I have teens that will still hang out with me..I even know who Ke$ha is...raised my oldest son knowing who Ludicris was and can still "Shake it like a polaroid picture." My kids keep me young..my ticking biological time bomb of a clock makes me scramble to get out of bed and put the radio on Q100 while I take the kids to school. I come home and put the radio in the kitchen on NPR while I clean up after breakfast and re connect with the real world but can switch back to Lady Ga Ga as soon as it is time to pick them up."Ooh La...Ooh la la la .."

Age is a state of mind. Age is what you feel. You either feel old as dirt or feel like you can live forever. I'll go with the "Live forever" route.

Next time I get a letter from the AARP, I may stamp it "Return to sender...address unknown" Yeah I remember Elvis too, but I was "Really young" then!

Til next time...hangin' on to my youth for dear life...COTTON