If I'm Lucky, I'm Halfway There

Worked this morning and got off around four. A friend from high school just lost her mother and the visitation was today from 2 until 5. Massey went with me and in usual Cotton fashion we slid in under the wire.

Her mother had Alzheimer's and not only the mother suffered but the daughter as well. The high school I went to was small but we're a close bunch and all stay in touch. Once Facebook exploded we connected even more, leaning about each other's going ons. I have followed this journey she has made with her mother and respect her even more for the way she has handled the battle.

She is smart and funny and took it all in stride. She laughed about the sad, tried to make light of a dark situation and somehow maintained her own sanity. She loved her mother when her mother didn't even KNOW she was her mother. I have tremendous respect for children who grow into adults,  only  to take on the role of parenting their own parents.  Another one of my friends from high school went down this same road with her own mother and did just as good a job.

I used to think I was cheated. I lost my mother when I was seventeen...in thirty seconds as I looked on helplessly. I lost my healthy father in the matter of ten days from one tiny mosquito bite.

In hindsight, I was the lucky one.

We never had to put them in a home or even take them into ours. They both went quickly and spared us from having to see  them turn into someone we didn't know and someone we had to care for without them even recognizing us.

My father's cousin was in a nursing home for rehabilitation a couple of years ago and my sister, Massey and I went by  to visit her regularly. It was a depressing place. My dad's cousin was always upbeat and never once complained. She was there a couple of months and by  the grace of God went home and is still living by herself and is a hoot!

It reminded me of a comedian my sister told me about. His routine was about nursing homes and the difference between  men and  women. He said most of the women still tried to fix themselves up and simply sat in the halls in wheelchairs with a look on their faces that expressed mild disappointment...kinda like "Ya know, I always thought I'd go to Europe" while the men sat in wheelchairs or lay on gurneys in the hallways with a wild look on their face  like they wanted you to tell them a secret..."Where's the gold???"

I was lucky. I avoided both. Many of my friends didn't.

I have so much respect for people that have taken care of their parents and not dumped them off somewhere to die alone.

I have given Massey  strict instructions. If I ever lose what little mind I have, simply put a pillow over my face and do NOT remove it until my little legs quit kicking...no matter what I say or who I call her.

I wrote to my friend after her mother died. I had just gotten home from work and it was late. Better late than never.

 I sat for a while thinking  what to say, then posted this.

" It's late. I'm a night owl. Just couldn't let the day pass (although it technically has) without telling you how relieved I was to hear God released your mother from her (and your) torment. I know you feel sad but don't! She is up there with so many others she knows and is the young vibrant woman she was so many years ago. Although you are crushed (as I would be) think of the well earned release your Mother has received. You are a wonderful woman, mother, daughter , friend and person. Grieve her passing, relish the memories (good AND bad) and remember that you wouldn't even be here to cry except for the fact she gave you life. You have made her proud. You have made all of US proud by loving and taking care of her when she needed it the most. Kudos to you my friend...you stepped up to the plate, accepted what was on it and hit it out of the park. You are my hero...you are your Momma's hero and as the Good Book says ..."Well done my good and faithful servant."

People so often think of death as horrible. Sometimes it is salvation.

Til next  time...COTTON 

But It Feels SO Good

So maybe this ISN'T a picture of me. But some stupid,  supposed friend or family member took this picture and put it on Google images. If it WAS me, I would hunt the photographer  down and kill them.

I cut the front of the subdivision the other day right after it rained. Of course in  true fashion I wore Daisy Dukes, a tank top and flip flops. In retrospect I should have known better but they'll have to pay me extra to think AND cut the front!

Came home covered with Chigger bites. I know them all too well. Zach got zapped by  them when he was just eight and building a fort in the woods behind our house. I bet I used three bottles of nail polish on his tiny nuts before we got rid of them. I think that's the last time I saw him naked...but he hugged my neck as I slathered on the last coat of pink nail polish.

There seemed to only be  few and at first I thought it was mosquito bites.

I learned in the past four days that although it feels fabulous to scratch them, "They ain't skeeter bites."

I keep meaning to stop by the pharmacy on my way home from work but they really don't start itching me til I am home, car and butt parked and then I remember.

By that point  I resemble my Diddy when I was little and he finally got home from work He ate dinner, was tired and seemed to enjoy watching MASH or All in The Family while he scratched his Athlete's foot. Gotta admit...it feels pretty good.

The ones on my back I got Massey  to hit with nail polish. The ones on my legs and feet need it too but all our nail polish is hot pink or blood red...Sixteen year old daughter. (go figure)

All my Facebook friends were starting to freak me out and after I saw this pitiful picture of this not too photogenically pleasant looking man on google images I thought to myself...if they can eat up a 250 pound man, imagine what they can do to my skinny ass?

Taking an Aveeno bath before work, and stopping by the pharmacy on the way TO work.

"Kinda" freaked out now, but if the past two years haven't killed me I doubt a Chigger will.

I am the type to move EVERYTHING to the back burner...that's why I have two on my stove.

I have ten shifts to work this next  week and all of them are double shifts. That should leave little time for scratching.

My life is nothing if not a comedy of errors, goofs and amazing comebacks.

Headed to bed to enjoy scratching for a few more hours before I rid myself of yet another one of life's annoyances....Can you  consider Donald Trump an annoyance  and will nail polish make HIM go away?

(I just made myself laugh)

Til next  time...COTTON

Missing Rosie

 So our sweet Rosie has been gone for an entire year.

 I have had a lot of boxers in my life over the years. The first one I remember was Punch when I was five. (We named him that cause he looked like someone had punched him in the nose.) Then we had Smokey. My aunt and uncle had a boxer named Benjie. When my sister married she and her husband got a boxer named Champ. After Champ, they got Spunky.

 After their demise my sister bought the boys a pup they named Maggie. Maggie had pups and they gave us one...a sweet female named "ROSIE."

She was tiny and demure, exuding femininity and just "looked" girlie. She had the softest coat I  ever felt. We got her when Zach was about five.

 We had a huge swing set in the back of the yard and Zach  always wanted to play on it. The problem was that Rosie LOVED to chase Zach and would often get to him just as he reached the set and would tug  his shorts down as he scrambled up onto  the play set. He was safe once he climbed aboard. Then Rosie discovered how to  climb the set. The above photo is of her with her back legs on  the top platform as she peers over the privacy fence. Yes...she was a smart one! (Click on the photo to enlarge it)

 She lived a good life with us. She grew up with all three of my kids and never caused me a minute's grief. The above photo is of Massey and Rosie in our kitchen when she had reached the point of finding it difficult to even stand.  She was still sweet and dear but we all knew the end was near. This is the last photo we ever took of her.

 Massey left the next  day  for a trip  to visit my friends in Florida and by  the end of the week we  all decided it was time to let her go. She scrambled around just trying to stand up and had a hard time just walking. It killed me to let her go but it hurt more to see her suffer.

A dear friend of ours had someone they knew from the Humane Society come to our house and let Rosie go in peace in familiar  surroundings. It broke my heart but it was harder seeing her struggle to make us happy to just have her around. She went peacefully and looked up at me one last time...almost with an appreciative look.

When it's time to let them go...it's time to let them go. They have done their job supplying years of joy and love. It is our job to know when it is time to let them go.

The above photo is probably my favorite of Rosie. This is when my mother in law came to visit when Rosie was young. My mother in law is an avid dog lover and currently holds the record for "Crazy lady with the most rescue dogs."

She came and we had a cook out. The kids were still little (hence the play house) and when she sat down on a bench to eat her burger, Rosie climbed right up next  to her. She never shooed Rosie away or acted irritated as Rosie stood three inches from her face as she ate her burger. You GOTTA click on this photo for a closer look...it is priceless!

Oh how I miss my Rosie! She was the best.

 I remember when it got so bad she couldn't walk without her legs splaying out in every direction and we decided to have her put down, one of my son's friends spent two hours in the back yard digging her grave. It was hot  and he was sweating. Zach had mangled his arm in a long board accident and couldn't do it. When his friend came back into my house drenched in sweat,  I told him how much it meant to me and he simply said "It was my honor."

Everybody loved my Rosie!

The next day another one of Zach's friends helped bury her because Zach had a cast on. I creeped on Zach's facebook page that night and it simply read "RIP Crazy Legs."

I cried and cried and cried.

Rosie is gone but will never be forgotten.  Two of my friends made donations to the Humane Society in her honor...That lets you know what a great dog she was!

I still trim out her grave with my trusty weed eater and think of her every time I cut the back yard. Dogs just don't live long enough on this earth but this girl will live in my heart forever!


"RIP CRAZY LEGS"

Til next  time COTTON

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

One of my favorite movies and the seemingly recurrent theme in my life as of late. Life was good, it turned bad and got really ugly for a while but guess who has two thumbs and survived?

"This girl!"

I can't take much credit for it...I had a force behind and above me that made it all happen and  was just a fortunate recipient. It has made me see things more clearly. It has made me appreciate waking up and has made me realize in the grand scheme of the world, I am a pretty lucky gal.

I was so burned out at my old job at The Western Sizzler. My husband had lost his job and I was working thirty days in a row just to make ends meet when they fired me. (Note to self: send them a "Thank You" letter)

I was hired by a family that I have known for almost 14 years and dug right back in, working 13 shifts a week. Somehow we made it... with help from the government and help from my family, friends and new bosses. I started to burn out about a month ago but being almost fifty two thought I hung in there pretty well. I never put in a schedule request, just let him schedule me as he needs me. He started giving me two days off a week and at first I was ticked. He still has me working eight and nine shifts a week but the days off have made me realize how very much I need them. One of them I sleep  the entire day, the next I get some things done. He's a big scary guy...but one  that loves me and knew I was burning out.

We've made enough strides now that I can take a day(or two) off and it won't mean our electricity or water will be cut off. It's a good feeling. It's a guilty feeling, but it's like I have finally been given a reprieve.

Thrown into the mix my younger son got in a butt load of trouble and  took a year for it to all be said and done...but it is. He learned his lesson and paid for it. The lesson I learned is that you love your kids and will do anything for them. He has grown into a man this past year and I have grown into a woman with a head full of gray hair.) Tim went totally gray two years ago but at least he is handsome.

At least we are all still here, with electricity, water and even internet connectivity. (Thanks to my excellent PHD in BS, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul and sneaky banking skills)

I went up to the front of the subdivision today to cut so I could get my sixty bucks from the HOA (Home owners Asses.) They all detest us after Zach's arrest...except for my next door husband on one side and "Slow" Lee on the other. I'm surrounded by REAL friends. Even  the  neighbor across the street  who obviously saw it all go down has been a buddy.

You learn who your friends are and learn to know what kind of people other's can be. Obviously only some of them know about KARMA and have a great deal to learn.

We are still sitting in our little house...utilities paid both cars have gas and we have less  than four years before our mortgage is paid off. 

I've lived through the Good...took it for granted. The bad was an awakening but one I needed.

 The ugly is lfe is an instant. You suck in a breath but may not be around to exhale and if you are...consider yourself extremely lucky.

Looking back I feel like I have climbed the alps Maria did in The Sound of Music.


The hills are alive with the sound of music
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music
My heart wants to sing every song it hears
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds
that rise from the lake to the trees
My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies
from a church on a breeze
To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over
stones on its way
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray
I go to the hills when my heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music
And I'll sing once more


May sound lame..but when I am on my Johnny Dear making my own yard look great and the hills at  the front look good for everyone that not only turns in but drives by...I'll sing it once more!

The way I feel now is tired but satisfied. What a wonderful way to feel! Appreciate your own life but once you do...help another. Said it before and will say it every day of my life...I am a lucky woman.

Til next  time...COTTON

Pretty Cool Kids

So my oldest nephew turned thirty yesterday. This is a photo of him with  his younger brother when they were just tots. I love these two boys.

Their dad was a big athlete so  the boys came by it honestly. Casey was knocking home runs by  the time he started tee ball and has been doing so ever since. Casey is still as meek and mild as he was when this picture was taken... just look at that smiling face!

Griffin on the other hand came into this world with the above expression on his face and it didn't go away until he turned four. (Or at least it felt that long)

Casey was the sensitive one...Griff was a screamer. When he was born he was jaundiced and came home from the hospital complete with a set of lights that were obviously there to help us see him screaming more clearly. Casey was always the silent one and Griffin was the one we always tried to KEEP silent.

All the pictures we have from our vacations at  the beach when Griff was young are ones of him glaring into the camera , squinting and waiting to scream. We would go out to eat seafood and all took turns walking outside with Griffin so we wouldn't get kicked out of the restaurant. The boy had some lungs... no problem there!

Once Griff had screamed for several years (we still have the photo of their dad sitting on Santa's lap with both boys because Griff was horrified) he simmered down  and became almost as mellow as his older  brother and just as good an athlete.

They both turned out to be amazing ball players (and still are.)

Their mom ended up raising them as a single mother and did an excellent job. Their dad remained in their lives until he died from Alzheimer's at the young age of early fifties.

I have always felt close to both the boys and still do. Casey is still the silent one. You can (and could EVEN when he was young) ask Casey any number of questions about his day, his life or mood or liking of something and his response is always the same... "Good."

Cindy  told me about one Christmas morning when they were both young and woke up to  find Santa had come. All the presents lay in the living room on the sofa and chairs. Casey came into the room wearing his Thunder Cats briefs yawning and his dad said all excited "Look at what Santa brought you!" Casey walked around the room seemingly unimpressed as his dad kept prodding some kind of excitement out of him... "Look at  this. Look at that!" Casey  finally stopped by the Masters of the Universe sword.

He picked it up. He turned it over in his hand. He stood silent (again) for  a few seconds and then shot his arm up just like He-Man. He said nothing but from Casey that was a lot!

Griffin was total opposite. He had to be held down  for my sister just to draw on a mustache on him with an eye brow pencil when he went dressed as a cowboy one Halloween. Guess which outfit they never repeated with him?"

He fell one time when he was little and had to have stitches. I bet the doctors and nurses are STILL talking about that one! My sister said they had to strap him down on a papoose board and  was sweating and screaming so much that he finally wore himself out...or maybe that was the doctors who were worn out?

They have grown up now. They both are still excellent ball players and I  know for a fact that makes their dad smile from his perch up there with my own momma and diddy. They are all looking down  and cheering us on.

I have a crazy family. I wouldn't have it any other way. Two things I can say  about my family...

#1  There is an abundance of love.
#2 There is an abundance of laughter.

Who  needs #3 when you have the first two?

I say it time and time again, but can't say it enough, I am a lucky woman!
Til next  time...Comfortable COTTON

The Picture Says It All

I had such big plans for today. I was excited to have a day off. I was going to meet one of my eighth teachers at the restaurant where I work for lunch. She was meeting a friend there and I kinda invited myself. I woke up early, really early and decided to move to the couch to watch some CNN. I woke up around 12:45 and thought I was smart to send my former "Teach" a message last night telling her I may not make it  because I had so much to do.

Seems what I really had to do was to step back from the world and take a day for myself. I was supposed to go pay Verizon, make a bank deposit, cut grass and clean house. Lucky for me none of those things require clocking in so I simply clocked out...of the world.

Massey left to go somewhere with a friend, Zach was asleep and Tim wasn't home from work yet. The pups seemed excited when I mentioned doing nothing so I decided to make THEM happy too.

I slept on and off for over twelve hours and it felt lovely. I got hungry around three and heated up some soup and made grilled cheese sandwiches. I made an extra one for the pups to split and they were delighted. Standing up for ten minutes in the kitchen had exhausted me so I returned to the couch and resumed my position. I started to feel guilty around four but then the local early news came on and I need to stay informed...what if there was an uprising like in the book I had been laying around reading  between news casts?

I crawled out of my cocoon comforter around six to discover Massey was taking a nap. Great! I hurried back to the sofa and opened a pack of peanut butter and cheese crackers. I threw both pups a cracker and made them promise not to tell that I had been horizontal all day..."It worked!"

I made myself get up around six thirty and Massey and I headed to Kroger . We bought fixings for Quesadillas and a flat of water bottles. We came home and I fixed her a Quesadilla and went out back to read. I played around on FB for a while and cleaned the kitchen (it was supposed to be Massey's job but since she didn't snitch on me for sleeping all day I did it.)

I read for three hours out back with the pups and made Zach two Quesadillas when he came home from work. Cleaned the kitchen again and headed back to the deck on the back porch to read more of my book.

It was one of  the greatest days I  ever had.

I work another double shift tomorrow and now I am beyond ready!

 I think that I can do it all and often times do. Sometimes I need to step away and decompress. I felt worthless sleeping my day away but felt like a new person when I got up from my twelve hour nap.

Tomorrow I will start fresh. Tomorrow I will pay the bills, tomorrow I will make a bank deposit. I am off on Thursday and will cut the grass then.

A (much younger) friend of mine at work commented last week that she couldn't believe  I have never had a manicure or pedicure. She mentioned it like three times...am I missing something I need to know about?

It's true, I haven't. All I need is a pair of clippers and a cuticle trimmer...corn pads and a nail file, fast dry nail polish and I'm good to go!

I'd rather have a day flat on my back than a day in a nail salon. I am old school.."They grow, you clip 'em and you paint 'em."

I guess I AM getting old...but at least I am GETTING old!

COTTON

Absolutely Amazing Day!

Was scheduled to work a double shift today. I gave up my lunch shift because my former college room mate's son was graduating in a neighboring county about a hour away. This is the first year we haven't received an invitation from any one from ECHS (my kid's school) so I decided to go and surprise my college "Roomie" by  actually showing up at her son's ceremony. We had gotten the invitation a few weeks ago and having already had two graduate know that most invitations simply mean "Put a check in the mail, please."

Number one: No one wants one of MY checks.
Number two: I had the day shift off and Massey has come to love my college roomie via Facebook and wanted to meet her. Massey met her once a number of years back when at the insane age of 47 my dear college roomie got preggers again when her Marine husband was home from deployment. So she has a senior graduating from high school today and a daughter who just graduated from what we in the south call "Kinnygart'n."

The graduation started at ten this morning so I told Massey we needed to leave before 8:30 AM. She woke me up at 7:45 and even brought me a glass of my daily needed Nestle Quik...with the spoon still in it so I can make it nice and frothy before I down it in one long gulp.  I had worked a double shift on Friday and even though the night shift was slow and I got home by 8:30 I started thinking about all the families on our street who had kids graduating and most probably having parties so I wanted the front entrance to the subdivision to look nice. I wasn't due to cut it til June but I had cut it on Thursday but didn't have time to weed eat. Friday night I pulled into the garage after work, changed into my Daisy Dukes and tank top and went up to the front to weed eat  the culverts on either side.  By  the time I got through I was using the headlights of cars whizzing by to finish my work but at least it looked better.

I woke up sore...cutting grass doesn't bother me but my  buddy Mr. Weed Eater wears this Lil ole gal out! I just wanted thirty more minutes flat on my back.

I started thinking about the march into the stadium, the national anthem and even the opening remarks. I told Massey, "Let's leave at  nine." At nine she came in dressed and ready to go. I had made  progress...flipping over to my other side and decided since my roomie's son wasn't a Valedictorian we could probably skip that speech too. Massey was livid!

At nine thirty I dragged out of bed and washed my face, brushed my teeth and we were out the door ten minutes before the graduation started... a hour away. It's a nice drive over to Paulding county from where we live, thanks to a co worker of mine who lives there. We took long winding back roads through the country side and got to the high school around 10:45. The streets were packed with cars but since we were over a hour late,  some people were already giving in to the heat  obviously having grad's last name starting with "A' or "B" and were making their escape from the ninety degree heat.

We slipped my little Beemer into a spot inside the stadium parking lot and only had a four minute walk to the stands. Two stands full of people...how are we supposed to find my roomie now?

We heard them call a name as grads crossed the stage...they were only on the "D" names. My roomie's last name starts with a "K."

I looked at Massey and although I shouldn't have... said "Can your momma  make some sh*t happen or what?" She smiled at me and replied "You're pretty good."

We walked around the back of the stands to where the stage was and waited for my friend's son to be called to receive his diploma. Massey has never met him but  immediately picked him out of the crowd of lined up grads approaching the stage (and she calls ME a creeper!)

As he crossed the stage and his name was called a man in front of us yelled and threw up his hands, all the while snapping pictures of Avery King.

Like the creepers we (both) are we followed him. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked how he knew Avery? He said he was his uncle and after introducing myself he led us back to where my roomie was sitting with her Marine husband.

As we approached her, she stared at me for a good ten seconds...we haven't seen each  other in five years and I have lost over fifteen pounds. I remarked "Did you  cry when they called your boy's name?"

Just like that the friendship was solid again. She said "No, but I'm gonna cry NOW!"

Hugs all around..I saw her dad, "Jimbo" who I haven't seen since 1982, her brother and sister and all their kids. I introduced Massey and Kim (my former roomie) and they hugged as Kim told her friends in the stands "This is my college roomie and her daughter...I'm FB friends with Massey!"

It was a great feeling. And in traditional Cotton fashion I handed Kim twenty five bucks and said to  give it to Avery. No card , no note.."YEP...it's  from a COTTON"
The heat was appalling and after many hugs and kisses my job was done.

Make someone know  they are important to you and  mean something in your life.

We left ...with a good feeling of a job plan well thrown together.  Got back into my Lil Beemer putting the top down and went to visit the pups my friend from work has that I desperately want one of. Played with the pups and sadly headed back home without one. Don't worry...I'll be back!

Stopped for a burger, went home and resumed the position for thirty minutes. Flat on my back as to not muss my hair. My oldest son had stopped by  for a visit, much to Massey's delight.

After a not too gentle shove out of the nest when we were at our lowest and could barely afford to feed ourselves, he has landed on his feet and seems to be doing really well. He has a new job and is going back to school in January.

I left to go to work and had an awesome shift. I had a party of five that asked for me and tipped me thirty bucks, a table of ten that tipped me thirty more and a couple more tables that put me near to walking out with a "Ben."

In walked Massey with her oldest brother and they sat at one of my tables. Not many people I work with have met TJ but they were all looking at him and wondering why I let my sixteen year old daughter go out with a handsome 26 year old?  They ate dinner and TJ said he was taking Massey to see The Avengers. I wanted to pay for their meal but knew Verizon and the gas tank of my car were looking  to be paid too. TJ paid the bill and I told him NOT to tip me. I gave Massey a ten for her movie ticket and kissed them both goodbye.

I haven't seen TJ in over a month but we keep in touch via FB and texting and phone calls. I went to clear their table.  He had left me a $100.00 tip and a note that read "Happy Mother's Day."

The owner was in his office doing paperwork and I stuck my head in and showed him the charge slip. He asked who left me  that and I said my oldest son did,  but I didn't know if I should enter it into the credit card machine. His reply was "Hell yeah, I wish one of my kids would start paying ME back."

You know, just when you think you have failed somewhat as a parent...they kick into gear and reaffirm your faith as a good parent.

Last week Zach had a hour long talk with me after he got home from work. Seems he had an Epiphany and told me he was going to start giving us $100.00 a month to help out and that he deeply regretted screwing up not only his own life but inadvertantly ours as well and gave me a hundred dollar bill. It was a good talk. It was one that makes it all worth while, even with the screw ups.

So I had me an AWESOME DAY! I got to see my old college room mate and make her smile...which made me smile too.  I got to meet a pack of the cutest boxer pups I have ever had the pleasure of having my arms chewed up by with their needle sharp teeth and paws and even got to spend some time with my oldest and realize once again..."I didn't do too bad as a momma."

So  what my Mother's Day sucked working ten hours straight...THIS was my Mother's Day and it was freaking fantabulous!

One of my favorite people from the Western Sizzler that fired me... a cook who actually gave me the free dessert for Massey which gave "Them" the go ahead to fire me for theft has recently joined Facebook and  discovered my blog. He has been writing me and saying that he laughs so hard he has a six pack... and has cried as well. This was his last post to me:

"Stomach is getting stronger and stronger.  Think I will start boxing or ultimate fighting .
Don't know what to do about the chin quivering and weeping  (Acting?) No, don't look good enough for that.
I'll just go hug my girls till their small faces turn red from the squeezing. " No daddy is not crying"
I'll chase my wife.
I'll be a little more humble and thankful. I will learn a little more , pay more respect to my own personal truths with my family.
Read some more , and pray even more!"  Dean

This is why I started this blog.


Til next time...COTTON

It's Getting Better All The Time

 Zach has grown up. Sometimes as a parent you just have to wait. The wait was well worth it.

My oldest is out flapping his own wings around and keeping himself up.  I am pretty proud.

Massey is my last and  makes me realize that I am getting older whether I want to or not.


Tomorrow my youngest turns into a senior. It is a "Senior" moment for me. I have raised three kids with three different results but love them all the same. As I see it as a parent...as long as you love them and show them the way, it's up to them which path to choose.

Some of my kid's have taken detours but have never detoured from my loving them.  They are all healthy and that is number one. They are all smart number two...Combining number one and number two is the best I can hope for and the thing I am banking on for number three.. "SUCCESS!"

So what none of them got cars when they turned sixteen? TJ got a car shortly after he turned sixteen and at least he was working, paying for his own gas.  I never had a car at sixteen nor did my sister. My brother got one because it was  a gift from my grandparents and at least he was responsible enough to take care of it.

Massey is upset because she doesn't have a car. I am upset that we can't buy her one.  On the other hand Zach is just happy to be able to walk out of the house of his own accord.

Massey is still a kid. She is sixteen and working albeit very "Part Time." At least her grades are great and that will be what drives her even further than most in life.

The high school she attends is full of kids who drive brand new cars (what are THESE parents thinking?)

I tell her time and  time again that as grown as she thinks she is...she is still a baby in the grand scheme of life.

Four years ago we were making well over six figures a year with no debt and a few years left to pay off our mortgage.

Now we are battling back from cut off notices and so much to repay to family and friends that it still boggles my mind.

A sixteen year old girl simply can't grasp this. Well she can, but it is embarrassing to her. Been there..done that. High school is brutal, whether you are a wimp as a male or unpopular and looked down on for being one of the females that doesn't "Have it all."  It tends to be tough in their own little "Who's Cool world."

Massey has been fortunate to learn the most important lesson of all at an early age. Life has no guarantee...what you have today can be gone tomorrow and may take years to replace...if you are lucky.

I am just blessed that she has excelled in her studies is healthy and has a roof over her head. All the rest will fall into place and  mean so much more to her for having gone through these past few years. I would love to buy her a car and have full intentions of doing so as soon as we can. I tried to explain it to her the other day when she griping (as most teens do.)

I said to her "How do you think I felt having to start over at  the age of fifty? At least I was given a chance and  think we have come pretty  far. If I have made it this far in  this tired old body just imagine how far you can go ?"

She passed all her finals... Spanish, Algebra III and Chemistry (a feat her momma never could have) and is destined for greatness. She is now a SENIOR and just beginning the REAL path of life.  She is lovely, she is smart and my best friend. She is misguided in what's really important but what 16 year old isn't?  I can tell you one thing...her graduation party next year will be a whopper and if I have anything to say about it there will be a stinking nice (used) car with a huge bow around it parked in the driveway.

I was an idiot in my twenties ...grew up in my thirties and lived large through most of my forties. Life slapped me in the face and I woke up broke by  the  time I turned fifty, not because of anything I or Tim had done but simply because "Life doesn't have a guarantee."

What life DOES have is Karma and  has been my saving grace. Throughout our struggles I have tried to help others while so many helped me. I  learned to be humble and have learned how not to be ashamed but simply grateful.

That pretty much sums up my past few years..."Not ashamed but extremely grateful."

Til next time..a tired but triumphant COTTON

Are We Done Yet?

 I'm not really sure how we got from the picture above to the picture below in what seemed no time at all. My oldest is 26 and out making his mark in the world. My younger son turns twenty in the matter of a few short weeks and is busy trying to get his recent marks in the world erased... and doing a pretty good job. I'd rather him be stupid when he was eighteen than when he is married with a wife and kids. Next in line is my last in line. Around this time next year I'll be throwing my last high school graduation party.

Massey has always been more interested in school than either of my boys. They were both just glad to graduate. Massey has savored every minute and each moment.

She (as well as I) enjoyed several seasons  with the Guard, learned some tough lessons about commitment and camaraderie and both made some life long friends. I still miss it.

This past year has been all about her grades (of her own choosing) and for the first time I had a kid in the National Honor Society. I think I was the only parent that cried at the induction ceremony but was so proud I could have popped.

She still remained in women's chorus which doesn't take up as much time, still has some Guard friends in it and is a really talented group of young women.

Tonight was the banquet.

 The teacher is young , excited and most probably a pushover but has produced a very talented ensemble and all the girls  love her to death . This is her presenting Massey with an award.

It was by FAR the largest chorus banquet they have had yet and I've been going to them since she was in middle school. Here's the teacher and three of them doing their "Land shark."

A while back Massey mentioned  they should get the restaurant we both work for to cater the end of year banquet. The teacher called my boss and as a favor to me, he gave them a dirt cheap price for some of the best food on the south side of Atlanta. Spaghetti with marinara or meat sauce, rolls with butter pats, fresh salad and home made salad dressing, iced tea and home made cookies and brownies.

I was in the office talking with the owner the other day when he told me Massey had told the teacher that she and I would be glad to pick up and deliver the food to the banquet.

WHAT?????????

Len said "I gave them a deal on the food but the teacher knew it didn't include delivery."

So I was looking forward to enjoying a nice relaxing evening off and now it seems I am  catering for 160 people....in a dress!

Here's the thing. I love doing catering jobs for the restaurant and we do quite a bit of it and he pays me really well for it...but HE is always there with me. He has done this for almost thirty years and knows the business forwards and backwards. I just listen to him and do what he says. I didn't mind not being paid, I'd do anything to help out with my kids and their functions, but now it seemed "I" was in charge and if something went wrong it would be MY fault. Like the great boss he is he finally said he would load everything up in his catering van and have two cooks deliver it to the venue, then I was on my own. He said he would have a couple of guys come back and pick up all the equipment. This is something he normally charges fifty dollars for but what can I say? They love me!

I was already nervous and got downright terrified as people got there thirty minutes early and just kept coming. There were over 200 people there. Another chorus mom I have known since the early eighties when I was slinging pizza at Johnny's and she was a regular was there to help me. Several of the chorus girls were there early to help and we kicked into action.

We were originally going to let them serve themselves but I got nervous at  the size of the group and would be mortified if we ran out of food.  We decided to serve them their spaghetti and then let them help themselves to salad, rolls and dessert.

The line got backed up once or twice, but being the genius chef he is, my boss sent an abundance of pasta and sauce so we let people come back for seconds. We should have had someone guarding the dessert table...the brownies and cookies were gone first. For Pete's sake...do people not have the common sense to just take one? Then again, it was mostly teens there and I can't much blame them. My boss is an excellent baker as well and makes all my kid's birthday cakes for me.

When the line begin to dwindle I felt a huge sigh of relief...we had plenty of pasta left over, the salad bowl had a bit left in it and we ended up with two rolls left.

One woman who came through the line asked if I was with Mama Lucia's? I said I was and she said "My son had a sports banquet catered and the food was terrible." My heart sank and I wanted to ask her to speak more softly. She said quickly..."No you misunderstood me. This was GREAT, do you happen to have a business card, we would like to have your restaurant cater our next one. The food is amazing and I love the way  you have it all set up."

Dang...maybe I should have more faith in myself as a caterer after all!

Only when I sat down with my own plate to eat did my nerves calm down. The woman was right...it was "Delicious!"

When  the the van came back to pick me up...it was the owner who walked in. I had every thing pretty much ready  to go back to the restaurant and when I walked out with the last couple of bowls following him to the van, he said "Looks like I delivered and picked up anyway."

He's a good man. He's a crazy, CRAZY Italian but I work hard for him and he returns the favor in kind time and time again. He had another catering job  tonight for the new hospital, an important and lucrative one but treated our banquet with  the same professionalism.

I don't want to jinx myself but I think my bad luck has run its course. We still struggle but who doesn't?  I have a leg up. God loves me, my family loves me and I have so many friends that I can't count them all. I have  bosses that recognize and appreciate my hard work.
I have a husband that hasn't killed me in my sleep yet (most probs because he works the night shift) and three kids that can make me mad but more often make me smile. Throw in two dogs who think I am the bomb.com and there you have it...Urban Utopia!

One more year of high school left for Massey and one year left for me to be a high school mom. You know what? I think I'm gonna miss it.

Including a short video of this amazing group of young women. This was a casual concert..no uniforms just a group of young women loving what they do....Making  this momma's heart sing!

Til next  time..."Catering COTTON"

Typical Day (For Me)

Had to wake up early to take Massey to a funeral for her friend's step dad who died from cancer. I had to stop off  at B&L tire to drop off Johnny's old tire so his new one could be mounted. I dropped it off and got back in the car looking at  the clock and said "It's only 10:35 we have 25 minutes to get to the church." Massey said quietly "It started at 10:30." (I wondered why she kept rushing me)

NO WAY! I read his obit yesterday and could have sworn it said the service started at 11:00. Massey pulled it up on her iPhone and sure 'nough it started five minutes ago. Luckily we were only five minutes away from the church.

It's not the first funeral I've been late to and  probably won't be the last. We screeched into the parking lot of the church to find four cars in the parking lot.  I remarked it was a good thing "WE" came.  We got out and pulled on the front door...locked! I had Massey pull up the obit again and it even gave the address of the church we were standing in front of locked out .

We went back to the house to look at the newspaper I had read the obit in and Massey called the funeral home.  They informed us it was indeed at that church but was being held in  the "Contemporary Chapel" not the sanctuary. I backed out of our driveway and we headed back to the church to discover a road that led behind the church to the "Con-Chap" where fifty cars were parked.
For Pete's sake!  Now we were over thirty minutes late...a new personal record for me.

Massey was gracious about my goof and as we went in the front door we were met by the dude from  the funeral home who said we could slip in quietly . I asked if we would be entering from the back so no one would notice and he said yes. I've been late to funerals before and pulled open a door and had 200 mourners staring at me...not the best feeling in the world.

He was right and we quietly slipped into the back row to hear the minister giving the closing prayer. I told Massey her friend would never know about our goof but would be happy she had come to support her. Massey was the first person the girl hugged on the way out. I hated we were THAT late but at least we made it in time for this young girl to know  Massey made an effort to be there.

We left and went back by  to see if Johnny's back leg was ready. Not yet, so we bought a bucket of KFC and went home for lunch.  Being the old woman I am I took a hour nap since I couldn't cut grass. We went back and picked up Johnny's hind leg around 2:45.

Here's the thing...like an idiot I ordered a new tire yesterday but didn't even think  I needed to take the old one off and drop it by the tire store so they would have the rim to mount the new one on. I spent ten minutes in  the garage this morning (in my nice dress) trying to get the old tire off before we left for the funeral.  One of Zach's buddies recently fixed his hunk of junk car at my house and either hid or took every screwdriver and pair of pliers in my garage. Let me show you what I finally pried the washer off the axle with:

Does this give you  any indication of "How I roll?' I can remember one time when I couldn't get the cotter pin through the front axle , broke it and used floral wire to twist tie the front tire on. It only worked for 30 minutes but I got the front yard cut before the front tire fell off.

I came home with Johnny's new back leg and got Zach to lift his ole carcass up while I slipped on his new "Cinderella slipper." It fit perfectly!  Here was the next  problem:

I have learned to hate these washers. I spent forty five minutes trying to get  this washer back on. Broke two blood vessels with the needle nose pliers I borrowed from Mr. Slow Lee next door, hit my thumb about five times with the hammer I was using to try and knock this "BEE-OTCH" back into place and finally had to quit forty five minutes before I had to clock in at work. My hands looked like I had just replaced an engine, twice. I asked Mr. Slow Lee if he had some GO JO for me to wash my hands with to which he replied "Huh?"  Massey explained it was hand cleaner and he said "Just use gasoline." The thing is I HAD no gasoline. He had left me a two gallon can when they left on their eighteen day cruise but I used that up the first time I cut his yard (and mine) while he was away. After he went in his house and shut the door I sneaked into his garage and found a can of gasoline and poured myself a handful.

No time for shower but I got one yesterday.   I went into work smelling like gasoline with melted funeral makeup touched up and some extra deodorant .  Thank goodness it was slow and I was back home in my garage by 10 PM sitting on the floor in my work skirt with a flashlight and hammer, bound and determined to get  that stinking washer back on. (I was out of floral wire and bread twist ties)

I sat for a hour on the floor banging away at my thumbs more than the washer. I came inside and called my sister to ask if her husband was still up? He came to the phone sounding sleepy and told me to put each side of the needle nose pliers into the hole on either side of the clamp and spread it open while I pushed it into place.  Armed with a Natty Light I went back into the garage. No go!  I thought I was strong but just couldn't make it happen. Instead I put the pliers (which weren't "needle" enough) through the clamp while closed and opened them stretching the clamp open until it was wide open enough to bang onto the axle, then closed the washer shut using the pliers.

"Got'er Done!"

I was exhausted, my back was killing me and felt like it was going out again from sitting on the concrete floor for two hours but at least I had Johnny's hind leg back on.

Now all I have to do is wake up in five hours and vacuum the house before I go to work at 10:30 because Massey is babysitting a seven month old while her mom works the lunch shift with me. I don't usually worry about my floors, they are over five feet below my face but this little girl is crawling and I can't leave without at least getting her "crawling space" semi clean.

Coming home and cranking ole Johnny Boy up!

Why does every  thing have to be so difficult? Of course if it wasn't...I'd know it wasn't MY life. I kinda like my crazy difficult fly by  the seat of my pants throwing it together at  the last minute life...it describes me perfectly.

Til next time...COTTON

Make A Wish ??

Got home from work just a few minutes ago and let the dogs out back. I was standing on the deck talking with my sister on my cell phone when I saw a shooting star streak across  the sky. I told her to hang on a minute while I made a wish. I shut my eyes and thought quickly what I should wish for?

I simply didn't have a wish come to mind... I have had so many blessings it felt selfish to ask for more. I won't say I haven't had some struggles but  have lived to tell the story and that in itself is a wish come true!

I don't wanna brag (or jinx myself)  but we haven't had a "Services are being cut off" tag hung on our front door knob in over three months!

 I finally learned how to NOT bounce a check..."Don't write one." In my defense I did bounce a few but it was when the only other choice was to be without water or electricity.

I  certainly didn't do it alone. I had an army at my back from the time Tim lost his job and the army grew when I was fired from the "Western Sizzler."

I have learned a lot.

I have learned that customers are wasteful in a restaurant and learned that if I boxed up left over food from really clean looking customers and took it home for Tim to take to work, he was grateful to have it and I was more grateful he didn't know where it came from. I am even MORE grateful he doesn't read my blog.

I have learned to shop at thrift stores and consignment shops. I have learned that I really did raise pretty good kids that have never once complained when I brought home sacks of clothes from Good Will but seemed okay if not almost happy about it.

I have learned  that teen age boys are stupid and make stupid mistakes.  I have also learned that it doesn't make you love them any less but even more.

I have learned that I can take whatever life throws at me. This was the most important lesson I think I learned. The saying is true..."What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I could lift an overturned eighteen wheeler full of elephants if I had to, and I am only mildly exaggerating.

It may sound crazy but one of the things that has gotten me through is sitting at my computer putting it all out HERE. The good, the bad AND the ugly.

 Writing is my release. Writing is my passion and when other people read my blog and it touches THEM, it is exhilarating to me. I often check the stats and this is where they stand tonight.

I have written 979 blog posts. I have had 36,064 views on my blog. I have 45 people that are signed up as followers of my blog and include readers from the following places:

United States, Russia, United Kingdom, Turkey, Canada, Poland, Brazil, Colombia, Germany, Croatia, Slovenia, India, Denmark, Philippines and Australia.

So obviously people all over the world know I am crazy but also know that I am resilient and "One Lucky Mother!"

I didn't have one single wish for that shooting star tonight. It's all happened and I am still around to enjoy it.

I have learned many lessons. I have learned what it is to be grateful and what it means to be humbled. I have learned that "Paying it forward" is probably the greatest concept ever invented and try to live by it on a daily basis.

A shooting star is wonderful to witness and an uncommon sight. Having your life turn around from being totally on welfare  and under not only God's but friends and family's care is one of the most eye opening experiences I  ever had.

Just think how pompous I would be if I had rolled through life with no bumps?

A former co worker of mine who I love dearly  just recently joined  Facebook and found my blog.  He wrote me tonight and said he had only read two months back but had a six pack from laughing and crying.

You need to be honest about your life and I try to. You  can pretend or lie about it...but who's THAT gonna help?

The shooting star was pretty awesome tonight, but so is my life!

Til next  time ...COTTON

Now THIS is Mother's Day...fo shizzle

This picture has nothing to do with this blog...I just like it!

I worked every shift at work except one lunch from Saturday night until this morning. I did okay until the "Mother of a Day" hit. I came home totally wiped out and never recovered.

I struggled yesterday doing another double shift but the free bottle of wine the owner gave me for doing some computer work for them made it all better. (til I woke up this morning)

I took Massey to school and swore I would not go back home and crawl back into bed. When you only have one day off you have six days of things to be done in one. I'm glad Massey was the only one that heard me utter the swear.

I went back home and thought..."I'll just lay down long enough to see what the weather will be like on  TV." I woke up to hearing Whoopi talking on The View.  If I rolled over in bed it could count as doing something...so I did.

I rolled my ninety nine pounds out of bed after one and ate a salad. Johnny Dear crapped out on me anyway with his sissy little front tire all crying "Ooh I'm flat, it hurts...don't make me."

I drove to the book store and thanks to the membership my brother gave me for Christmas picked up a copy of The Hunger Games for 40% off. I came home and read for twenty minutes in the back yard before having to go back and pick Massey up from school. I got to page 15 and realized something. I have been living The Hunger Games for almost three years.

I was lucky. I had so much support and help it was embarrassing at  times but always tremendously appreciated.

Fast forward two years. I'm two years older and feel ten years more tired but am still kicking and making strides. I have an army at my back and  God shining His spotlight down on me.

I still can't afford to buy my kid's a car or name brand clothes but they have what they need. I have slowed to nine shifts a week and it has made a world of difference in my mental and physical state.

I went to Massey's last chorus concert tonight. The theme was "All you need is love."

Her high school has a pretty awesome Chorus program.  The girl singing the solo in  this video was more awesome. Massey's BFF from next door went with me to  the concert and I asked her who this tiny young woman with the tremendous voice was? She said she was actually the homecoming queen. I asked Alyssa if she was as nice as she was cute and talented? Much to my relief Alyssa said she was indeed a very nice person. That meant a lot to me.

It reminded me of my sister. (without the singing talent) My sister won homecoming queen in 1971. She was beautiful (still is) and popular like I always wanted to be but never was. The thing is...every one loved my sister and my sister loved everyone. She was and still is an amazing person.

High school is sometimes different...especially today. I was thrilled to learn that this little girl with the huge lungs is a wonderful person. It renewed my faith in the spoiled youth of today.

I still have til five PM on Friday to clock back in. I still have half a day to myself. I still have the rest of my life in front of me and just glad to be around to still be here to gripe about it!

Til Next time..COTTON

Kicking The Hornet's Nest

I know all too well about "Kicking the hornet's nest."  A few years back I was trying to cut back the Pampas grass that was over taking my front yard by the front door. I was hacking away with the hedge clippers when I hit a hornet's nest.  By the time I realized what had happened they were all over me. They were stuck in my hair stinging me like crazy and swarming all around my face and even in my eyes. I threw down the clippers and after trying to run from them found out they can fly a LOT faster than I can run. I ran in the front door of the house and flew (pun intended) up the stairs to my shower on the third floor of the house. I bet I washed thirty of them out of my hair and the pain was almost unbearable. They sting repeatedly unlike bees that sting once and die from their mistake.

I have never been allergic to stings but this attack put me to bed with a high fever and even gave me a serious case of the runs. I had to call out at work which I hadn't done since my father died.

 The next week I asked the manager where I worked (who did pressure washing, chimney cleaning and other odd jobs on the side) to come over and get rid of the Pampas grass for us. He came over with a five gallon can of gasoline and dumped the entire can over the bush. (I didn't say he was smart)

Zach was probably about 8 or 9 at the time and completely into fires. He was my little pyromaniac. His eyes lit up when he saw how much gas my manager used to douse the grass. As my manager lit a piece of paper to throw on the bush I grabbed Zach and pulled him back about ten feet as the Napalm bomb went off. It literally shook the ground and scared the poop out of me. The flames were over twenty feet high and my manager grinned and said "That ought just about do it."

After running for the garden hose and soaking the remains before my entire house caught on fire, I realized he was in fact right. We all stood looking at nothing but a black hole in my front yard but at  least the nest was gone, along with my manager's eyebrows.

I hadn't thought about the "Hornet's Nest" again until I started reading the third book in the "Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" series. It's titled "The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest."

I work for some pretty crazy folks. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death but they can flare up those temper's with little or no notice given the right ignition at the wrong time. Once their temper is flared you have to simply step back ten feet as I did with Zach  all those years ago and wait for the fire to burn out.

When the owner says something to his wife to tick her off I immediately say "Quit kicking the hornet's nest!"  When the son gets his Dad all fired up for no reason I repeat  the order. It's become a running joke with us all at work.

Yesterday I worked yet another double and was still trying to recover from the "Mother of a Day" I had on Sunday. I was working with another server and we had a big party together at lunch.  My crazy boss wasn't cooking but our even crazier Latino cook was. He is one of the best cooks we have but can also be the biggest pain in the butt  you could ever imagine.

Here's the thing you need to know about every cook in every restaurant. They are ALWAYS right and servers are always stupid.  Even when the cooks are wrong they are right. When the server is right and the cooks are wrong...it is still the server's fault.  That is just the way it is in the restaurant world!

My co worker simply asked a question of our Latino buddy. Granted he was busy, but instead of being nice about it he flew into an immediate tirade. I looked at my co worker and simply said "PLEASE don't kick the Piñata!"

Another cook  working on  the line who speaks about ten words a month (even though he is American) and seldom cracks a smile actually almost laughed.  I gave myself ten points for THAT score!

I am tired. I am tired of being tired but at least I can still laugh at work and make others laugh too.  It's crazy working in the restaurant world...guess that's why I landed here!

I have ONE more double shift tomorrow and then have Thursday all to myself and my boyfriend, Johnny Dear.

It's been a hard climb back but when you make the climb and can see the corner up ahead it makes it all worth while.

My restaurant is family to me...and I am the crazy relative they all want to deny being related to but love even if they won't admit it. One of the cooks was giving me grief the other night and I shot back "If I'm the worst one ya'll have working here, I'd say you're doing okay."

I have to get up tomorrow and take Massey to school then go in for two shows...one at 10:30 and another at 5:30.

All bills are ALMOST current and I even have a little slush fund of sixty bucks sitting in my bank account.

Took Zach to see his probation officer this morning and sat in the parking lot to wait on him. I told my boss when I got to work "If those people are the ones they let out I'd hate to see  the ones they left inside." At least Zach has made it to this point  and I am pretty confident that he will succeed from this point forward.

The last week was the hardest. I was working so much and having to leave hours before my shift to pick him up. One of the cooks at work (who I call Patrick)

offered to take Zach back to the Po key for me since he was closing the store too. I offered gas money and he refused but I forced some on him. He is politically as far to the right as I am to the left, which I suppose means we meet in the middle. He's a cook too which means he is always right..."Touche!"

His generosity and rides meant  that I got to sleep two hours earlier each night. He made my life MUCH easier and gave me two extra hours of looking at the back of my eye lids each morning. I've thought about what I can do to repay him. I gave him gas money but that seems lame. He likes Tatts so maybe I will offer to pay for part of a  a Glenn Beck tattoo on his butt.  In my opinion, that's where Glenn should be displayed.

Totally kidding...to each his own. That's what makes America great.  Every person has a voice and a vote. If you choose not to vote your voice will not be heard.

Tim just informed me walking out the door to work that he ate my last frozen pizza.

Talking about kicking a Hornet's Nest!!  He better be glad I bought a new jar of crunchy Peanut Butter last night.

Waking up tomorrow (today) and doing it all again.

Stay tuned, I also owe my brother in law "Goober Pyle" and will pay him back tomorrow night with a blog.

 "JUDY JUDY JUDY!"  ( Goober's inpersonation of Cary Grant on the Andy Griffith Show)

Til next  time...COTTON

That Was One "Mother" of a Day!

Here is a picture of our "86" board at work yesterday.  "86" means you are out of something in restaurant lingo. It was so busy that as the day dragged on it was easier to remember the items we had than to remember all the items that had been "86'ed."

We opened at 11 AM. I got there at 10:15 and by 10:45 we were seating guests. I waited on tables non stop from 10:45 until after closing at 8:30 PM. It was insanity in the truest form of the word. People getting upset because they had to wait for a table. People wondering why their food took so long? People leaving a fifty year old mother working her  thirty third Mother's Day in a row a ten percent tip. Holidays are always considered "Amateurs Day" in the restaurant world. They are filled with people that dread having to go out yet  are forced to. They hate having to spend the money and hate more having to tip as well.  As a general rule I always make 20% at my current restaurant. The food is out of this world, they make every thing from scratch.  They even make the stocks they cook with, use only fresh herbs and each dish is individually prepared in it's own saute pan.

I was prepared for it. I have been a server for 33 years and know how holidays can be. Thirty three years ago it was much easier to do. I was young and only working to have money to be able to go out and party with my friends. Now I am almost fifty two and work six days a week just to keep our heads above water while still working with kid's in their twenties and thirties. They complain about the section of tables they have been assigned, some work harder at avoiding work than it would take to just do the actual work and some just bitch the entire shift....it's exhausting to an ole woman like me.

I hung in there and was actually impressed that I walked with fifteen percent of my sales. I sold nearly $1400.00 and walked with $220.00. Had it been a normal night I would have easily made $280.00.  "Happy Mother's Day to Me!"

One tab was $192.00. They left me a twenty. Another was $92.00 and they left me a ten. One was $111.00 and they left me twelve. For Pete's sake people...get a grip! It's hands down the busiest day of the year. I may be skinny but I have plenty of gray hair and a wedding band on. The massive  wrinkles on my face not only  imply but... SCREAM "I have kids!"

I was just glad it was over. I was just glad to leave. I was just glad I had survived. I came home and sat on my butt reading my book out on the back porch and drinking cheap beer. Now it MEANT something real..."Happy Mother's Day to me!"

Today I had to go right back in and open the restaurant and work YET again another double shift. The owner barked at me that I hadn't written on the specials board  which sits out front of the store to display our current special offerings, enticing customers to come in and check us out.

I gave them my OWN special message on their little specials board! (See above photo)

Of course I didn't put this out front but at least it made the owners chuckle. I work for a married couple.  The owner is one part Italian and one part French. His wife is one part Polish and one part German. We got all of WWII going on in our place and it is evident each and every day!

I worked the lunch shift and got off just in time to pick up Massey five  minutes late from school. Stopped to put gas in Tim's tank of a car and drove her home. Went to the bank and cashed the check they had written me last night because they ran out of cash to pay the servers because every one charged Mother's Day. I went  home and picked up Zach and drove him back to work for his 5:00 shift.  I went across the street to get a free Chic Fil A sandwich (Thank you Jess) and scarfed it down at a table in the back of the store before clocking back in.

It was slow and I was grateful  it was. The owners simply like me being there because I know what I am doing. I simply wanted to leave because I am old and tired.

I stuck around...didn't want to but HAD to.

Got another blog in the works about tonight but have to weigh my words carefully...I "AM" working with half of Europe and it could be explosive if not worded  correctly and precisely.

Til next  time...COTTON

Mother's Day is Looking Good!

I am a firm believer in not giving in or giving up. Sometimes I falter and just like anyone else sometimes get depressed. If you don't have a depressing day every once in a while how would you know when you are having an awesome day?

Today was an awesome day. I went in to do a catering for the restaurant at ten this morning. I was back home well before noon. Got a few  things done around the house and took a nice hour nap. Zach was originally supposed to get out Monday morning we thought but the Major talked to Tim and said he might be released Saturday morning.

That kind of put a small kink in my otherwise perfect day. Zach had gotten paid on Tuesday and after I picked him up and took him to the bank I returned him to the "Po key." When he got out of the car he took enough money to pay off the remainder of his "Rent" in the big house, asked me to take the rest home and put it in his bedroom.

I stopped by  the store on the way home and bought some groceries. I used some of Zach's money but thought I had til Monday to replace it. Now I owed Zach eighty bucks and made a mental note.

Tim got up to leave for work at midnight and needed gas money so I pulled another twenty out of Zach's cash...telling myself Monday was a ways  off and I would bank on Mother's Day at work. The next  day I was off which means although I get to rest , I don't make any money. Tim left for work again that night and needed money for gas. I guess by  now you know what I did.

I did a catering job  this morning but don't get paid til the restaurant gets paid. My gas light came on as I pulled into the catering job...thank goodness I had been smart enough to bring a bit more of Zach's money with me!

I had also used another twenty  to pay Verizon some money so they would quit texting me. I had most of the payment but that extra twenty got me current. I reminded myself once again that I had Friday night, Saturday night and Mother's Day to make all the money back plus some. (I can rationalize like no body's bidness when I gotta)

Today when I picked Zach up for work he said "The Major filled out all my paper work today. All I have to do is sign it in the morning and it's a done deal...I'm out."

As I smiled at him, patted his knee and rubbed his little shaved bald prison head I was thinking on the inside "Holy Crap" I gotta have his money back by tomorrow morning! Like the positive thinker I am I just thought "Okay...if I bust my butt at work I can make at least $150.00 tonight and I'll throw Tim under the bus and say he needed gas money and I'll replace it with Saturday night's tips.

We got to work early so Zach could eat something other than the cheese sandwich he had been served for lunch and I got all my dinner napkins folded. I was talking with some of the other servers about Massey having trouble in Algebra III and remarked I had tried to contact one of my former co workers from the Western Sizzler where I used to work. This particular girl is one of the few I miss. Her mom died when she was around the same age I was when I lost my own mother. Unlike me...she is smart as a whip and was voted "Most Likely To Succeed" her senior year at ECHS where Massey now attends. She put herself through Georgia Tech working as a waitress and I developed a close bond with her. She is a beautiful person with the prettiest eyes I have ever seen and the sweetest face I have ever wanted to hold between my hands.  She has cute almond shaped eyes that almost look Asian and as I have followed her tremendous success at Georgia Tech I felt like a proud Mama. Actually she often called me "Mama" and I took it as a huge compliment. After graduating she got a job with Tech, completed her Masters and has traveled all over the world with her job.

I tried to call her yesterday learning via FB she had moved back to Newnan for a while (another blog altogether) to ask her if she could help Massey out with her Algebra. I never got a call back and wondered if she was once again out of the country.

It took forever for me to get my first table at work tonight and I was getting worried about replacing the money I had "Borrowed" from Zach. I knew when he got released he had to go straight to his probation officer and wanted to give his entire paycheck to start paying off his fine.

I  finally got my first table and walked up to greet it. Who was sitting  there but my buddy "Pater" with her cute Asian looking eyes and her sweet daddy sitting with her. I thought she had gotten my message about Massey but learned she had changed her cell number. I believe God sent her to me. I got her new cell number and she said to have Massey text her anytime...take a photo of the problem or they could skype and she would help Massey any way she could.

Once again...Am I a lucky woman or what?

It was so slow at work tonight and I was getting nervous.  I know Zach owes me more than I could possibly ever owe him but he has been working 12 hour shifts to pay off his fine and I never once mentioned I had been pinching from his paycheck.

Pater reads my blog so she and her dad got a free dessert and since it was slow I got to sit and chat with them.

I got a couple more tables but had time to hug her neck before she left. I seriously love this girl as if she was one of my own.  I know she lost her mother at an early age...but let me guarantee you that her momma is in Heaven bursting the seams of her angelic robe with pride over the accomplishments this young woman has made.

I went to clear off their table. The whole while still fretting over it not being busy  when I NEEDED it to be. That's the way when you are a server. It's a crap shoot. You either bank big or go home broke.

I picked up the bill. I had to put my glasses on. Through tears I saw a 230% tip.

She had tipped me most of the balance I owed  Zach. I only had a few other tables but it was like they all secretly knew I needed money. It was a slow night but I walked out  of the door climbing the steps in the above photo. There were no hand rails to balance me and I felt dizzy but still climbed.

I felt like a thief entering her huge tip into the credit card machine but knew it would get me to the top of the staircase. Zach would get released in the morning. Almost half of his fine would be paid when I took him the money from his paycheck and he would be closer to being done with this entire mess.

To my dear friend "Pater" I fully intend to pay back the exorbitant tip...keeping only 15%. That's all I wanted but what you left me once again changed my life.

I may sound like a broken record but "Pay it Forward" has gotten me through the past year. The other two years I was too broke to "Pay behind or even on time."

Picking my boy up in the morning and picking myself up again tomorrow afternoon to do it all again.

God is Good. Life is good...True Friends are hard to live without.

I will be having the best Mother's Day I have ever had.

Til next time...COTTON