Several Blasts From the Past

What a bizarre day. Number one I was once again a selling boss. Number two the past came a calling too.  It was slow but the peeps just seem to love me.  The most expensive bedroom set we have is selling for $1199 and a great deal. Nice queen size cherry four post bed with an iron work head board. The dresser was beautiful, ten felt lined drawers and a huge mirror with iron work above it as  as well. It was originally over $2200. A guy came in and looked at  it and I told him I could bring it down to $1068. He asked if I could hold it for two hours and I gave him three. Sometimes people are serious and sometimes you never see  them again.

Two hours later he came back in with his dad. I'll be darned! His dad looked really familiar and asked where I knew him from ? He said he had been in the store before but I knew that wasn't it. I asked what his first name was and then it hit me when he said "Raybun." You don't meet too many people named Raybun.  When my kids were younger I did a three year stint as a "Lunch lady" at  the elementary school they attended. It was one of the hardest jobs I've ever had. It's not much fun scrubbing pizza pans for over six hundred kids and once a month you had to work in the dish pit for a week. We didn't employ a  dishwasher so the 'lunch ladies' took turns. This was about fifteen years ago and most all the women I worked with were in their fifties and sixties. Some had done this for thirty plus years. They were all southern small town women who would announce every morning as we began to serve the first class, "Here comes the Kinnygarden, y'all git ready." This father who had come back with his son to the furniture store was married to the woman who ran the lunch  room. I had heard she recently passed away and stepped forward and immediately hugged his neck,  saying "You're Harriett's husband!"  He accepted my hug and returned it as his son stood by looking dumbfounded. I told him how sorry I was to hear about her passing and was working so I couldn't go to her service. She was diagnosed with cancer around March was gone by  June. Being a somewhat expert in the "losing your parents" club told him I was glad God took her pretty quickly. As the son still stood by  with his mouth open thinking "WTH?' I launched into about how I was a lunch lady and how I had worn Harriet out.

 I've always been kind of a rebel and my lunch lady gig was no different. When the kids would come through the line turning their noses up at  the lima beans I would tell them we had put secret prizes in some of them. They snatched them up like crazy!  The one week a month I had to wok the dish pit, sometimes I would put in my Bubba Teeth to take the trays from the kids as they stacked them in my window. The kids loved me and I loved them. The free eating wasn't bad either. I ate from the time I clocked in til  the time I left. The fish sticks were pretty stinking good, tater tots were yummy and the fried chicken was awesome. Around Thanksgiving they had a spread. Ham, turkey, dressing and gravy, green beans and pear salad. They baked cookies and made cakes and the yeast rolls were my favorite.

I told Raybun his wife had been a pretty great cook and mentioned I may be skinny but I like to eat. One day in the kitchen at the school I was eating a yummy broccoli and raisin salad and commented to Harriet how good it was. Her dry reply was "Kelly, I could boil sh*t  and you'd eat it."

I told her husband that story and he chuckled.

It's really hard to go from someone you love being perfectly okay then lose them a matter of weeks  but assured Raybun she was lucky and a lot better off now. The only one's it sucked for were those left behind to mourn but in a few years, maybe even more would understand what a blessing it was for her.

I told both father and son I had lost my momma in the span of thirty seconds and my diddy in ten days and although both deaths devastated me,  years later realized what a blessing it was for them.Go quickly and gain your much deserved reward. The son cocked his head and said it was rough on them but I might be right, they wouldn't have wanted her to suffer.

Another blast from the past came into the store, a woman I grew up with in East Point Christian Church. I haven't seen her since probably 1978 but she popped into the store to see me. She reads my blog and just came by  to say hello. We sat on a couch and chatted for thirty minutes, catching up and commiserating about life in general.

Then another hour went by and the past walked in the door again and blew me off my feet. It was the Rat Bast general manager who fired me from the Western Sizzler (I still refuse to name the real place) I worked at for fourteen years. He fired me over a cup of ice cream I gave Massey for free. He fired me knowing my husband was out of work and I was supporting my entire family. I had to file unemployment, fight it when they initially declined to pay, I had to apply for food stamps and put my kids on Peach Care insurance. It was the most humiliating experience I ever went through but I did it.

I used to think about what I would do if I ever saw him again.This will sound even crazier but the night before I had a dream about him. I was at some gathering of friends (dreams are freaky like that) and he walked in. In the dream I immediately got up and left the room to avoid him...Now he was standing in front of me in real life.

I did the same thing to him he did to me four years ago, I turned my back on him.

The other salesman worked with him and I totally avoided him, wanting secretly to strangle his neck and watch his tiny feet dangle in the air like my whole family dangled for three years trying to recover. Can you  tell I read the Game of Thrones series?

I'm twenty pounds lighter now but still have the same loud voice and made sure to use it as I helped another customer. I am sure he saw me, if not he heard me. I just wanted to punch him in the face.

What's even better is that corporate fired him over something even more stupid than a cup of ice cream three years down the road. Icing on the cake,  his marriage fell apart (I shouldn't say that but karma is a big fat bee-otch). Of course he didn't have three kids to take care of and made out a lot better than me but at least he got fired...and that's never a good feeling.

It was the best week I have ever had at the furniture gig. I sweated like a hoss but sold like  boss.  A couple of sales fell through but still did excellent.

Worked today at  the restaurant where the peeps love me too.  Left work and swung by the furniture gig to purchase an area rug for Massey's dorm room.  I'm not sure why she needs one but actually I had one in my dorm room my Mema gave me and it does make it all nice and comfy. It retailed for $199 and I got it for $25. It's a six by eight tan shag rug. While I was there I stopped by  the sod pile where the landscaper from Academy Sports had piled up all my sod. There were ten or twelve pieces left, kinda beginning to brown put taking root so I knew they were still good. Threw them into the back of the station wagon and drove home. Patched up the last bare spot in  my front yard and prayed for rain.

Got the rain, unfortunately it was when I was walking out of the grocery store.  Came home soaked but satisfied. I got my boss at  the restaurant to shave me some rib eye steaks and made some awesome cheese steaks.

I am off tomorrow, I live for my Monday's! Cutting the back yard,  cleaning the house and watching General Hospital. Okay GH fans, I know it's a soap but they are bringing back the same characters but as a different person. What the hay?

I have made it this far which seems incredible to me and plan to go much further.

Sometimes you have to thank your lucky stars, thank the peeps who help you and strive to pay it forward.

Calling the vet again tomorrow about my Ham. Hoping for good news.

I don't lead a luxurious life but it's a great life. It could be  whole lot worse. Counting blessings and hopefully waking up tomorrow to do it all again.

Til next  time...COTTON

Now THIS is Mother's Day...fo shizzle

This picture has nothing to do with this blog...I just like it!

I worked every shift at work except one lunch from Saturday night until this morning. I did okay until the "Mother of a Day" hit. I came home totally wiped out and never recovered.

I struggled yesterday doing another double shift but the free bottle of wine the owner gave me for doing some computer work for them made it all better. (til I woke up this morning)

I took Massey to school and swore I would not go back home and crawl back into bed. When you only have one day off you have six days of things to be done in one. I'm glad Massey was the only one that heard me utter the swear.

I went back home and thought..."I'll just lay down long enough to see what the weather will be like on  TV." I woke up to hearing Whoopi talking on The View.  If I rolled over in bed it could count as doing something...so I did.

I rolled my ninety nine pounds out of bed after one and ate a salad. Johnny Dear crapped out on me anyway with his sissy little front tire all crying "Ooh I'm flat, it hurts...don't make me."

I drove to the book store and thanks to the membership my brother gave me for Christmas picked up a copy of The Hunger Games for 40% off. I came home and read for twenty minutes in the back yard before having to go back and pick Massey up from school. I got to page 15 and realized something. I have been living The Hunger Games for almost three years.

I was lucky. I had so much support and help it was embarrassing at  times but always tremendously appreciated.

Fast forward two years. I'm two years older and feel ten years more tired but am still kicking and making strides. I have an army at my back and  God shining His spotlight down on me.

I still can't afford to buy my kid's a car or name brand clothes but they have what they need. I have slowed to nine shifts a week and it has made a world of difference in my mental and physical state.

I went to Massey's last chorus concert tonight. The theme was "All you need is love."

Her high school has a pretty awesome Chorus program.  The girl singing the solo in  this video was more awesome. Massey's BFF from next door went with me to  the concert and I asked her who this tiny young woman with the tremendous voice was? She said she was actually the homecoming queen. I asked Alyssa if she was as nice as she was cute and talented? Much to my relief Alyssa said she was indeed a very nice person. That meant a lot to me.

It reminded me of my sister. (without the singing talent) My sister won homecoming queen in 1971. She was beautiful (still is) and popular like I always wanted to be but never was. The thing is...every one loved my sister and my sister loved everyone. She was and still is an amazing person.

High school is sometimes different...especially today. I was thrilled to learn that this little girl with the huge lungs is a wonderful person. It renewed my faith in the spoiled youth of today.

I still have til five PM on Friday to clock back in. I still have half a day to myself. I still have the rest of my life in front of me and just glad to be around to still be here to gripe about it!

Til Next time..COTTON

Slowly But Surely...

Work was WAY too much like work tonight. It's been crazy! This is typically a slow week but the past two nights have been like working in a cartoon. All I heard was the sound of bongos as I raced from table to table to table. Remember when  Fred Flinstone ran real fast and passed the same table and lamp in his cave time after time with his fat bare feet having the sound effect of  bongos? That was me all night except I had on shoes that were killing my feet and  sweating like I was in a sauna not a cave.

I'm not complaining (well kinda sounds like it) and it's been great but it ain't easy when you're fifty one and a menopausal woman. Christmas week was busy but not like usual. New Year's week was better but still below par. This past weekend has been insane! It's been great and my saving salvation. Cell phones are still working and I have made gas money for both me and Tim for the week. I almost have enough for the cable bill (cable and Internet providers are almost as evil as cell phone providers...greedy bastar*s.)

I have made my New Year's resolution. I am taking one day a week off...no matter what. The problem with me is if I take a day off I don't make any money. On the other hand if I kill myself working week after week after week, what's it gonna help when I stroke out at work and crack my head open on the floor when I crash? That may give me TOO many days off and another bill to pay unless they Gorilla Glue my head back together.

Life is slowly getting much better... well I wouldn't say MUCH and it has been slowly,  but I  WILL say it was once SO bad that it makes NOW look Tim and I are Ralph and Alice Cramden making Ed and Trixie Norton jealous.

Baby steps... One day at a time. Be a good person and good things will happen to you. Love and you will be loved. Keep humor as your friend and God as your guide. Never give up and always know you can make tomorrow a better day.

Heading back to work in a few short hours but only for a day shift. You have to take care of  yourself if you want to be able to help take care of others.

A New Year...a New plan.

Til next  time...Cotton









We are so close, well not SO close but it is easing up a bit.

Busy Week In Full Swing...

Here's my little "Tinker Bell" in her outfit for character day at the high school. It is homecoming week at ECHS and each day has a different theme. I'll have to admit she threw together a pretty good Tinker Bell costume since I refused to donate any money to the outfit. She borrowed her wings and I am not sure how she managed the cute dress...probably cut up something in my closet that I had been saving for a special occasion.

Zach has been promising to bathe the dogs for over a week and today I finally found his weak spot. I take him to school at 8:50 every morning because he attends the CEC (continuing education center) where he can make up credits and begin to take college courses.

Last night I had another battle of insomnia and the insomnia won. I finally settled into bed at 2:30 and started watching "Cold Mountain." I had read the book and loved it so I gave the movie a shot. By 3:30 I was really into it but when I hit the info button on my TV during a commercial discovered it didn't end until 6AM.  I moaned so loud it woke the boxer spooning me and he looked at me like I was crazy (smart pup.)

I  turned the TV off at 4 and just willed myself to sleep.

I woke up at 9 and thought "Oh crap...Zach!" I jumped up and opened the door to his dungeon, complete with black out curtains and not a sliver of light to be seen. The bed looked empty and I thought he must have caught a ride to school. I shut the door and crawled back into bed. Five minutes later the door to the dungeon opened and Zach was hopping around pulling on some pants and complaining about how his alarm didn't go off.

I am fifty years old and  cannot think of one time that an alarm clock set correctly didn't go off. I guess it happens to teens all the time. It must be some kind of meta physical force that detects a lazy teen who wants to sleep late and without any human involvement obliges automatically.

About this time the phone rang. I screen calls like I am working the phone lines for the White House but it popped up "Coweta County Schools" so I answered. The lady was very nice and said she was just wondering if Zach was sick? I told her HE was making me sick... but  had over slept and  would be there in ten minutes.

On the ride over he knew I was ticked. After my "You are eighteen years old..." speech I told him he needed to come straight home from school and bathe the dogs before he did ANYTHING else.

We got halfway to the CEC when the road sign said "One lane traffic ahead." We were about ten cars back and had to wait on the "Pilot" truck to finally come through, make it's SLOW turn around and lead us on at the amazing pace of 10 MPH.

When I dropped off  Zach, like an idiot I took the same road back home. This time I was the first car in line when the Latino held up his stop sign on a long PVC pipe to tell me to stop and wait on the slug of a truck that would scream back down the road at 10 MPH.

As I sat in the front of the line I was struck by how many times he would look up at his sign to make sure he had the "Stop" side turned the right way. He would look up at it...look back at me...take a drag off his cigarette and look back up at his sign , I guess to see if he had inadvertently spun it around to the wrong side while exhaling.  Cars behind me backed up...made 3/4 turns and went the other way. For Pete's sake! By the time you turn around and go back, take another road and detour... "Pepe" will be looking up to  swing his "STOP" sign around to say "SLOWLY."

When I went into work at 5 , Pepe was still out there with his sign. Granted they were 1/2 a mile further down the road. I would go NUTS having that job. I would be handing out suckers or chatting up the crowd.

I told Zach we were leaving twenty minutes early in the morning for school.

Zach came home from school and bathed all three dogs...bitched the entire time and talked about what a persecuted life he led.

I came home from work tonight to three happy, clean pups and one ticked off 18 year old. Bless his heart, his life is so hard...cursed with an alarm clock that malfunctions on its own and a mother that demands he do something for her at least once a week. I may be convicted for child cruelty next week. At least Bishop Eddie Long seems to be currently in the que in front of me.

 I didn't even get to see the end of "Cold Mountain!"  If I had known Zach would oversleep I would had at least finished watching it. The things we do for our kids!

Homecoming parade tomorrow night in Senoia...big game on Friday (come buy a funnel cake from me) and a memorial for my cousin given by the film industry on Sunday.

My life may seem to be be in the crapper but at least it's never dull. In the crapper AND "dull" would be a terrible life to live.

Keeping the faith.

A former co worker of mine has an 18 month old daughter in the hospital recovering from brain surgery to remove a tumor. THAT my friends, is a hard thing. My life is roses compared to so many others.

Please pray for Sunny Norman... a tot that doesn't even realize or know the concept of hardship or obstacles. She is a baby fighting for her life and doesn't even know it.

Once again I am reminded "I am blessed."

Tomorrow is another day if you are lucky, but always be grateful  God gave you today.

Til next time (hopefully)  COTTON

Only the Good Die Young...

The world lost a great person and I lost another relative. My cousin, Shad died suddenly from a heart attack and shocked us all by leaving WAY too soon. He was a talented artist and all round good guy. I never met anyone who didn't like Shad. In high school he was a great athlete and as handsome as they came.

I remember as a little girl him being a lifeguard at the huge public pool where EVERYONE in East Point hung out. All the lifeguard's were bigger than life to little kids like me. It was like swimming with Donny Osmond and David Cassidy watching over you while you swam around their elite "Lifeguard Stand" just hoping they would notice you. I was lucky. Shad was my cousin so he actually DID notice me and would actually speak to me. When I was a kid, you could send off for a Muscular Dystrophy carnival packet. They would mail you a kit telling you how to set up different booths and games in your back yard to raise money for MD. My older sister was dating the "Head" lifeguard and he and Shad and all the other life guards came over to our house to my stupid little carnival and gave me the dream afternoon of a lifetime for a nine year old little girl. I raised quite a bit of money considering it was 1969 and it was one of the stand out days of my childhood. He used to see me trudging up Jefferson Ave. to the elementary school lugging my French Horn and would stop in his Porsche to give me a ride to Harris Street School. Now THAT was "Cool" even by MY pre pubescent standards.

They lived not too far from us..a five minute car ride. His father and my father were brothers and looked so much alike it was no wonder that my sister and Shad looked more like brother and sister than cousins. They were both even blessed with the same buck teeth that had to be corrected with braces. Both had blond hair and blue eyes and both were incredibly popular and well liked by everyone.

If I had to classify Shad as an adult it would be " a hippie"...a really COOL hippie. Always down to earth and an amazingly talented artist. His mother is an artist as well and the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Shad was laid back, never high strung but even keeled and always easy to talk to. My husband really liked Shad and said he reminded him of a "Good looking Greg Allman." He has two amazing kids to carry on his legacy. They should feel proud to have been blessed with such a wonderful father and I know they will both do him proud.

He followed the path of art direction and did REALLY well for himself. He was always low key and modest but had tremendous talent. These pictures are from a garden in his yard and sum him up perfectly... "Peaceful, tranquil and beautifully designed."

I have an eclectic extended family. There are all shapes and kinds. There are professionals and artists. There are ones I see and talk to often and some I see every decade or so. I saw Shad every few years...he and his girlfriend came to a Christmas party at my house a couple of years ago and it was a delight to be around him again.

My Mom died when I was seventeen...suddenly and quickly. My Dad died in 2002...in ten days he went from perfectly healthy to being taken off life support. Shad's Dad did it the same way...he was on the tennis court one minute with Shad's friend and gone the next.

My brother summed up our family and it's history perfectly one day when he said to me "Our family takes the express check out."

If you have to go that's the way...no lingering illness, no years of slow demise. You are here one minute and the next minute you are gone.

Shad was one in a million. I never knew anyone that didn't love Shad. I never knew anyone that Shad didn't love.

I guess there may be exceptions but as far back as I can remember, when our family wants to go...they do just that.

I know my grandparents lingered and I am sure that was horrible for my parent's , Aunt's and Uncle's.

You are never guaranteed ANYTHING in life. When you inhale...you may not exhale. When you go to sleep at night you may not wake up in the morning. When you are here today...it is no guarantee that you will see tomorrow much less the next hour...minute or second.

Life is constantly an instant. Life is what you are living the second you blink your eye or have a thought. It can all be gone before you blink again.

Life is to be treasured, enjoyed and lived to it's fullest.

I think that is what Shad did... what MY parent's did and what Shad's Dad did. We will miss Shad, I miss all of the relatives that have passed on and left my life. What "IS" important is how you are going to live your next minute...your next second. You can think ahead to tomorrow, but always be prepared to say to the Maker today "I think I did good."

I am fortunate...extremely fortunate. I come from a long line of wonderful people that have done their time...made their mark on the world and been embedded into my mind, memory and soul. They are all gone now... Big mama, Big daddy, Mama, Diddy, Uncle Chuck, Uncle Billy, Aunt Lurline, Aunt Virginia, Uncle Pont, Cousins Mike, Patrick, and now Shad.

We have a family reunion planned for tomorrow...it's still on. I wish I could peek in on the reunion upstairs in the "Big Guy's Mansion." Not sure which one would be better...but you never know which one you will be attending, do ya?

I Think I Can See A Day Off Coming !

I'm not sure at this point, but I believe that after tomorrow I will have a day off. I have had one day off since August and the days have just run together and the week seems to never end.

I open the restaurant in the morning and after my day shift I finally have a day off. I wake up every day and don't even know what day it is...just know that I have to iron a work shirt and go into work at some point in the day.

These past few months have been incredibly hard on every one in our house and in our lives. My brother, sister and brother in law have been so supportive that I don't think I will ever live long enough to re pay their kindness, love and generosity.

I have always thought of myself as a person that would do anything for anyone...but lately these roles have seemed to reversed.

I have been humbled, I have been sometimes embarrassed but I have also learned how to accept help from the people that love me and be truly grateful for their love and compassion.

Heck...I feel like I have been working hard! These people are probably working harder than me just to help us keep afloat while maintaining their own lives as well.

I try to keep my depression down to a minimum. I had a small breakdown the other morning but felt better after I let the tears flow and cried myself silly in the bath tub and came out actually feeling a bit better.

I know that my husband will find work soon and know that I can hang on til that day arrives. I have lost more weight than I would like and can take my jeans off without even unsnapping them. I notice more lines on my face every day and more gray hair sprouting out of my two inch hair every time I run my fingers through it.

We've been through our savings and been through our 401K and now are simply living off of a server's salary...but at least we HAVE that salary and it seems to be getting us through with help of my touchstone (my sister) and the grace of God.

I know that when one door shuts, God opens a window. I just wish I could send him a can of WD- 4o, because our window seems to be sticking and I feel like I am suffocating.

At least I still have my sense of humor and I think that is one of the things I am most grateful for.

I got my kids approved for PeachCare and am just waiting for their cards to arrive. Then I can begin to use all the money I have paid into the system since I was 15 years old to help my kids be able to go their own doctor without worrying how I am going to pay for it.

All I need is ONE DAY OFF to re group and re think my next strategy.

I sleep probably 5 hours a night max, waking up at least twice...once to go pee and once to try and remember what time I have to go into work.

I say all of this because I want to remember all of this .

I want to remember this feeling of despair and this feeling of worry so that when we DO get back on our feet I will appreciate it to it's fullest and know how it feels to be in this situation.

There are so many people around the globe that don't have family and friends that can help them through the tough times, help them survive and give them unyielding support.

Yes, I am one of the lucky ones.

I don't live in Dafur or Afghanistan . I live in a country where people reach out and help, and where if you forge ahead and work your hardest...ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

Granted I pray for that "something" to happen soon...but I have full faith it will and one day down the road ...years from now, Tim and I will be sitting on a porch with grand kids scurrying all around us and we will be laughing and holding hands saying to each other "Do you remember back in 2009..."

Til next time.. a humbled and grateful COTTON