Come on Karma, One More Time !

Didn't even know what day of the week it was when I woke up but knew I had to work somewhere. I asked Tim what day it was and then at least knew it was an airport day.

My daughter gave me "The Alchemist" and have been reading it with a highlighter to mark things significant. I came across this quote early on and precisely sums up my choice to step out of the box and take this new second job.

"He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have."

Our financial struggle these past five years have taken a toll on not only me but my marriage and felt the waters quickly rising. It's been a tough adjustment and one of the hardest things I've ever done but know it's for the best and with each shift, feel a tiny bit more comfortable and hugely amazed at what international travelers not only spend on food but tip as well.

So now that I knew what day it was,  got up and got ready once again for my trek to Concourse F or as I call it...Yemen. Working at international adds at the very least twenty five minutes to my travel time once I get into the airport.

I left out the front door to go to my next door husband's house where my borrowed little truck sits, and going down the first step of our  front porch twisted my ankle. I wear Dansko's for work. They are great (extremely expensive) shoes. My sister gave me a pair about six years ago for Christmas. They are sturdy but add almost two inches. My foot turned to the side and almost fell but caught myself and continued to limp to the borrowed vehicle not wanting to run late.

It was killing me by the time I got off the shuttle to the international terminal but at least took my mind off my skinned up knees.

Got all my opening work done for my shift and since it was slow took my thirty minute break to scarf down my free meal before it got busy. I stuck my phone in my back pocket and went to the food court to eat. Got me two Chili Steaks, onion rings and a Co-Cola from The Varsity while scrolling through emails.

I checked in on Facebook since WiFi is free at the airport and even took this cutesy pic of my healthy snack!

I left the food court and stopped by the restroom before heading back to work.

I broke down and bought some jeans that actually fit me the other day and the back pockets are tiny, just like the pants. When I pulled them down to pee my phone almost dropped out of my back pocket so put it on the shelf in the stall.

Got back to work, clocked in and went to put my phone back in my bag  under the counter.

Not a GOOD FEELING immediately struck me! I raced back across the food court, not five minutes later but my phone was gone.

I raced BACK to work and tried to get it off my mind. No time to worry about it now, it was a done deal and the restaurant was starting to get busy with several delayed flights.

I didn't get off until after eleven but went downstairs to the information booth and spoke with a gentleman. He said Lost and Found closes at seven but gave me a number to call tomorrow (now today). Earlier one of my co workers had stopped by the bar right across from the restrooms and asked if a phone had been turned in when she took a restroom break but got a "No."

I limped down to the Plane Train to go back to domestic and ride MARTA back to my borrowed ride. The one good thing about getting off late is the Plane Train is pretty empty and I get to sit down. When I left F Concourse was alone so pulled off my shoe and sock to look at my ankle.

I'll be needing to finding an Ace bandage before I go to Mama Lucia's to work in the morning. My ankle is the only fat part of my body right now, black and blue to boot!

I have faith in my fellow man. Someone will turn in my phone and will get it back. I have to work a day shift at Mama Lucia's tomorrow (today) but will call the airport to check and see if maybe Karma has smiled on me once again.

If not at least is the only cell  phone we have with insurance on it, not that it matters much. I've heard nightmare stories about how lame the insurance is and meant to drop it a while back. If the phone is gone it's no ones fault but mine.

A phone can be replaced, although can't really afford that right now. But I lived for over forty years without one and can do it again.

My main concern now is my ankle which is pretty painful and have to work Thursday and Friday at my home restaurant then returning to the airport first thing Saturday morning by eight thirty.

I've said it before and will say it again, "You can't make this stuff up." My life is a comedy of errors but at least still think of it that way.

Limping to bed...COTTON

Simply WOW!

I got home from a weird shift at work. Serving the public is ridiculous sometimes. We're servers, not SERVANTS!

Was going to blog but my back's been killing me all day and have a lot to do before work tomorrow. I just checked in on my blog and noticed  it has now had over 92,321 hits from ten different countries. Not that it's making me rich or making me any money at all,  but feels pretty good that almost a hundred thousand times people have read what I have written.

I had a bad day. Things just aren't going our way...yet. This getting old stuff isn't helping. Bad back, bum knee, bad shoulder...and my husband's not even a wife beater!

Car problems, as usual. Number one being I don't HAVE a car. Number two being the one my husband drives won't pass the emissions test so now he's driving on an expired tag.

I got depressed earlier thinking about it and so did he. That's all we need, a ticket for an expired tag!

Then I read the headlines. Then I watch the news about the Ukraine and even the idiot leader of North Korea. I think about the millions and millions starving in Africa. I think about tragedies like Sandy Hook here in my own country. I think about parents dealing with children who are dying from cancer or other incurable diseases.

Then I remember the fact I am depressed because we don't have a tag for our car or because my husband only has a part time job.

It almost takes my breath away. How ridiculous can I be?

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Seemingly, I forgot to do that today.
Big Whup we have car issues and the hubs is only working part time. Do you know how many hundreds of millions would trade places with us in a heart beat and feel grateful to have the opportunity?

Obviously I am doing something right with my blog. Obviously people out there are either identifying with me or love reading about someone more unfortunate. Maybe they just like it because out of all we've been through and all we may have ahead of us, I manage to make light of it, and why not?

Never cry over spilled milk. It will just sour anyway.

Look for all the silver linings and be grateful for what you have not for what you want.

I needed a kick in the pants tonight and got it when a table of six women came into the restaurant whining about service when they were totally ridiculous about choosing a bottle of wine and berated a fellow server who is a single mother working seven days a week to make a better life for her son and herself.

One word..."Karma."

Watch out for it because HE has a mighty bite. I should have hugged my fellow server before I left tonight but know what that does when you are already flustered, it makes you cry and none of those women were worth her tears.

Got my head on straight now. I have little problems!

Til next time...COTTON

Just Another Day

You  can whine, cry and complain but that doesn't help anything.Doing something does. We've come a long way over the past three years and are so close to almost being almost caught up to just being slightly behind that it amazes me. We've gone from being almost six months behind on our mortgage to being almost current. It wasn't easy and we had lots of help from family and friends. We are still tight as a drum but still beating.

Then as I get ready for work day after day after day I listen to the news. Some crazy old dude killed a school bus driver and kidnapped a six year old off the bus. Wouldn't  you know it, the little boy had special needs but was unwillingly taken to an underground bunker to live in captivity for almost a week with his deranged kidnapper. A decorated Navy Seal sniper was shot in the back,  killed at a shooting range while trying to help a fellow soldier with PTSD. He could have been  blown off the planet by  an IED in the field of combat but lost his life here at home .

Kids and teachers killed in an elementary school just last month.

All the while, the fat cats we elected sit on their fat wallets in Washington,  infighting each others political party while WE all sit on empty  wallets waiting on them to do something about us...the American people.

While the people who elected them continue to struggle, they seemingly do nothing except still get paid..by us!

Let's get rid of the elephant AND donkey in the room. Let's do away with  the blue or red states. Let's be the "United States" of America and do something positive for Pete's sake!

If I could, I would fire every one of them and replace them with the average Joe.  I would send a hard working blue collar worker to Washington who has actually suffered and knows what it's like to not be able to pay the bills although they are working tirelessly. I would send single moms who don't have more kids just to get a bigger check but single  moms who want to be able to do it themselves for the kids they have.

I would take care of the soldiers who fought OUR battles, forgotten when  they come home to just be bound by  red tape and hoops  to jump through...held out by  the Rat Basts with deep and filled pockets.

I'd get rid of the homophobic and racist first, just cause  they  tick me off.

YOU have your beliefs, that's great, but who's to say YOURS are right and someone Else's are wrong?  Webster's defines belief as "The mental act, condition, or habit of  placing trust or confidence in another."

So are the Dems or Repubs wrong? Are the gays or straights wrong? Are  the rich or poor wrong? Is the NRA right or just effing nuts?

I'll give  you my take...It's not our place to judge, That's the Big Guy's job. OUR job to is live a clean and honest life. Our job is to live and love each  other.

It's a motto that has worked for me for over half a century...not that I'm bragging, well maybe a little bit.

My family is the product of hard work, love and help when needed . My family pays it forward every  chance we get. We expect nothing for free but know we will be provided with what we need if we help every person  we can, no matter how big or small.

Here's the real deal in my book...even though I am not Buddhist , it makes sense to me.. It beats being a Dem or Repub these  days.

Karma..."The  total effect of one's actions during  the successive phases of one's existence, regarded  as  determining one's destiny."

I bet Buddha and God are BFFL's... just waiting on us to wake up and smell the coffee.

I'll take mine with  four sugars and a butt load of cream please.

Wake up peeps... we are living in the Jetson age with a Flintstone  mentality.

Til next  time...COTTON

I Feel Better Now...

We  took Ham for his second shot today. The mobile vet was in a neighboring county today so we had to drive about thirty minutes . Ham's done nothing but lay around. It's takes him a while to even put his head down. In other words...he's extremely uncomfortable. He tries to follow me from room to room like he always did and it makes me feel guilty when I leave the room. Yesterday he didn't move...only when we put his leash on and took him outside. I got home from work last night and thought I may wake up to a dead dog...he was pitiful so I did what any momma would do with a sick young'un , I got a blanket and slept next  to him on the dining room floor. This morning he seemed a bit stronger and I took him out for a short walk, gave him his meds , loaded him up in my tiny car and headed to Carrollton to see the vet for shot number two. Today the mobile vet was parked in the Tractor Supply parking lot in Carrollton. Zach stayed in the car with Ham and I got out to sign us in. The vet came out of the unit to see  another animal and saw me sitting on the curb by  myself, cocked his head to the side and gave me a questioning thumbs up? I gave him a thumbs up and pointed to Ham in the car with Zach. He nodded and took care of the four pets in front of us.

After about ten minutes he came over to us with his big bottle of rubbing alcohol and a syringe stuck between his teeth. He pulled out the syringe and asked if we were ready?

Zach held Ham upright, I held his head and the doc once again counted outloud as he moved down Ham's vertebrae.  He stuck  the needle in and five seconds later we were done. Zach asked where he was administering the shot and he said "Into the muscle." I  thought it was going into his heart...I know it felt like it was going into mine but now I knew.

He finished the shot and patted Ham on both sides and commented "This dog is nothing BUT muscle. He is one strong dog."

He said the first shot killed 50% of the adult heart worms. He said the one just injected killed the other 50%. He said  bring him back in three weeks for one final shot to  kill  the offspring. Then he will put him on preventative and retest him for heart worms in twelve weeks. I asked what Ham's chances were and he said 90%.
I like those odds.

Came home from work tonight...day number eleven in a row and three more to go. I'm not complaining just commiserating. I walked into  the kitchen from the garage and there stood Ham! He wasn't jumping for joy but had that nub of a tail wagging and was at least standing up. Call me crazy...you certainly won't be the first but I am camping out with him again in the dining room floor. Our bedroom is up two flights of stairs and I am pretty sure Tim is doing just fine...although he is stuck in a room with Ziggy "The destroyer."

My Christmas is complete. My kids are healthy... spoiled (if you ask me) but that's MY bad. Not financially spoiled but cut WAY too much slack around the house. My husband is working again and we have gone from being six months behind on our mortgage to eight weeks behind. I call that serious progress.

Add to the mix a sick pup, a daughter headed for college next  fall and the IRS breathing down our neck for something four business partners went into (with Tim) and only two willing to paying for.

I still call it a win. I still call it the best Christmas ever.

I might even go out and buy a tree! I might even get crazy and make cheese straws!

Christmas is all about giving and being grateful.  I am one grateful Bee-otch.

May sound even more crazy but Ham making it through has hands down made my Christmas. If  you ever want to meet the best dog in the universe...feel free to drop by my house.

Thanks again Jerry (you're the captain of  Ham's team.) To  David, Kathy, Dennis, Ellen, Terri, Kristal,  Paulette and most certainly Elaine...What you have all done for my dog  blows me away. What you have done  not only saved my pup but inspired me even more.

"PAY IT FORWARD"

It's a concept that could and CAN change the world...just like you have changed mine!

Merry Christmas.

Til next  time  COTTON

Two Years And Two Months

Wow! I logged in to see I've had over 40,000 hits on my blog. Guess some body's reading it besides me.

It's been a long road for three years but a road I was obviously destined to walk. Walk it I did, stumbled but was picked up by family, friends and strangers and encouraged every step of the way.

At the age of fifty I had to apply for food stamps, unemployment and medicaid. It was the most humiliating and humbling thing I have ever done but when it comes down to taking care of my family, I would throw myself in front of a train to save them.

We had  to file for bankruptcy because we were five years away from paying off our house and the bank wouldn't modify our loan...they simply wanted our house because it would be a huge profit for THEM.

I fell into a depression that seemed to have no bottom, but scraped myself off  the floor and went to see friends that owned a restaurant. They hired me on the spot and for two years I worked eleven and twelve shifts a week, sometimes more. Tim got a job, then a better job.

Year one it was full steam ahead. Year two I began to lose steam and my mind. I have cut way back on my hours and it's like a whole new world.

Karma came around last night when I learned the manager who fired me after fourteen years at my old job had just been fired for something as frivolous as he fired ME for.

My husband keeps saying not to gloat but I can't help it.

I talked to one of my former co workers today and they said "I knew when he fired you...he had it coming, in a big way."

Karma could change the world...it has changed mine. We lost so much but were given even more. We persevered and kept on kicking.

We are so close to being back...so close to moving forward. We are lucky, we are blessed and we are determined.

As for my former manager...I will try not to gloat but simply think Karma actually does exist.

What goes around comes around...and I survived  to see it!

Til next  time...COTTON

Mother's Day is Looking Good!

I am a firm believer in not giving in or giving up. Sometimes I falter and just like anyone else sometimes get depressed. If you don't have a depressing day every once in a while how would you know when you are having an awesome day?

Today was an awesome day. I went in to do a catering for the restaurant at ten this morning. I was back home well before noon. Got a few  things done around the house and took a nice hour nap. Zach was originally supposed to get out Monday morning we thought but the Major talked to Tim and said he might be released Saturday morning.

That kind of put a small kink in my otherwise perfect day. Zach had gotten paid on Tuesday and after I picked him up and took him to the bank I returned him to the "Po key." When he got out of the car he took enough money to pay off the remainder of his "Rent" in the big house, asked me to take the rest home and put it in his bedroom.

I stopped by  the store on the way home and bought some groceries. I used some of Zach's money but thought I had til Monday to replace it. Now I owed Zach eighty bucks and made a mental note.

Tim got up to leave for work at midnight and needed gas money so I pulled another twenty out of Zach's cash...telling myself Monday was a ways  off and I would bank on Mother's Day at work. The next  day I was off which means although I get to rest , I don't make any money. Tim left for work again that night and needed money for gas. I guess by  now you know what I did.

I did a catering job  this morning but don't get paid til the restaurant gets paid. My gas light came on as I pulled into the catering job...thank goodness I had been smart enough to bring a bit more of Zach's money with me!

I had also used another twenty  to pay Verizon some money so they would quit texting me. I had most of the payment but that extra twenty got me current. I reminded myself once again that I had Friday night, Saturday night and Mother's Day to make all the money back plus some. (I can rationalize like no body's bidness when I gotta)

Today when I picked Zach up for work he said "The Major filled out all my paper work today. All I have to do is sign it in the morning and it's a done deal...I'm out."

As I smiled at him, patted his knee and rubbed his little shaved bald prison head I was thinking on the inside "Holy Crap" I gotta have his money back by tomorrow morning! Like the positive thinker I am I just thought "Okay...if I bust my butt at work I can make at least $150.00 tonight and I'll throw Tim under the bus and say he needed gas money and I'll replace it with Saturday night's tips.

We got to work early so Zach could eat something other than the cheese sandwich he had been served for lunch and I got all my dinner napkins folded. I was talking with some of the other servers about Massey having trouble in Algebra III and remarked I had tried to contact one of my former co workers from the Western Sizzler where I used to work. This particular girl is one of the few I miss. Her mom died when she was around the same age I was when I lost my own mother. Unlike me...she is smart as a whip and was voted "Most Likely To Succeed" her senior year at ECHS where Massey now attends. She put herself through Georgia Tech working as a waitress and I developed a close bond with her. She is a beautiful person with the prettiest eyes I have ever seen and the sweetest face I have ever wanted to hold between my hands.  She has cute almond shaped eyes that almost look Asian and as I have followed her tremendous success at Georgia Tech I felt like a proud Mama. Actually she often called me "Mama" and I took it as a huge compliment. After graduating she got a job with Tech, completed her Masters and has traveled all over the world with her job.

I tried to call her yesterday learning via FB she had moved back to Newnan for a while (another blog altogether) to ask her if she could help Massey out with her Algebra. I never got a call back and wondered if she was once again out of the country.

It took forever for me to get my first table at work tonight and I was getting worried about replacing the money I had "Borrowed" from Zach. I knew when he got released he had to go straight to his probation officer and wanted to give his entire paycheck to start paying off his fine.

I  finally got my first table and walked up to greet it. Who was sitting  there but my buddy "Pater" with her cute Asian looking eyes and her sweet daddy sitting with her. I thought she had gotten my message about Massey but learned she had changed her cell number. I believe God sent her to me. I got her new cell number and she said to have Massey text her anytime...take a photo of the problem or they could skype and she would help Massey any way she could.

Once again...Am I a lucky woman or what?

It was so slow at work tonight and I was getting nervous.  I know Zach owes me more than I could possibly ever owe him but he has been working 12 hour shifts to pay off his fine and I never once mentioned I had been pinching from his paycheck.

Pater reads my blog so she and her dad got a free dessert and since it was slow I got to sit and chat with them.

I got a couple more tables but had time to hug her neck before she left. I seriously love this girl as if she was one of my own.  I know she lost her mother at an early age...but let me guarantee you that her momma is in Heaven bursting the seams of her angelic robe with pride over the accomplishments this young woman has made.

I went to clear off their table. The whole while still fretting over it not being busy  when I NEEDED it to be. That's the way when you are a server. It's a crap shoot. You either bank big or go home broke.

I picked up the bill. I had to put my glasses on. Through tears I saw a 230% tip.

She had tipped me most of the balance I owed  Zach. I only had a few other tables but it was like they all secretly knew I needed money. It was a slow night but I walked out  of the door climbing the steps in the above photo. There were no hand rails to balance me and I felt dizzy but still climbed.

I felt like a thief entering her huge tip into the credit card machine but knew it would get me to the top of the staircase. Zach would get released in the morning. Almost half of his fine would be paid when I took him the money from his paycheck and he would be closer to being done with this entire mess.

To my dear friend "Pater" I fully intend to pay back the exorbitant tip...keeping only 15%. That's all I wanted but what you left me once again changed my life.

I may sound like a broken record but "Pay it Forward" has gotten me through the past year. The other two years I was too broke to "Pay behind or even on time."

Picking my boy up in the morning and picking myself up again tomorrow afternoon to do it all again.

God is Good. Life is good...True Friends are hard to live without.

I will be having the best Mother's Day I have ever had.

Til next time...COTTON

Karma is my Friend !

 I've been planning on taking Massey and two friends to a concert for a couple of months now. It's a group of three brothers that got their big start on YouTube. A friend of mine at work first turned me on to them and Massey and I quickly became big fans. I kept putting off buying the tickets because there was always something more pressing getting in the way...like paying bills,  buying gas and groceries. As the concert got nearer I started to get nervous. One of the girls going was a classmate of Massey's and had already given me the money  to buy her ticket.

 Last week I finally had enough in my checking account to buy the four tickets and sat down at the computer to purchase them. It kept kicking me off the site and I finally just called Center Stage (the venue) to see what the problem was.

The problem was...They were SOLD OUT. I got a sick feeling in my stomach and waited a day or two to break the bad news to Massey and the other two girls. One was a classmate of Massey's and the other is a young woman I used to work with at the Western Sizzler. She was in a horrible car crash and spent quite a while at The Sheperd Center in Atlanta for a brain injury she sustained. Massey and I went to visit her on a regular basis (see former post.) She made a truly miraculous recovery and it was a hard road for her and her family. She was a fan of Boyce Avenue as well so we were all going together (so I  thought.)

I felt terrible and kept trying the website to see if any tickets may become available as the concert date approached. I got panicky and even wrote their record label telling them I didn't want a handout but just needed tickets and could even pay more if they had some. I checked my email about five times  a day hoping to hear back from them but  by Friday still hadn't. Massey finally told her friend we didn't have tickets and I had her money for her.

I told Massey to still have the girl come over today and told my friend the same. We left here a little after five and I drove us all down  to Center Stage to see if I could pull a rabbit out of a hat. I told them it wouldn't hurt to drive down  there early and see if any tickets had opened up. We got there and there were at least a hundred people already in line with huge signs posted "BOYCE AVENUE / SOLD OUT."

I told them it didn't look good as we pulled into the parking garage but decided we had already driven to Atlanta, so it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. The attendant said it was ten dollars to park so I told him we just needed five minutes to go see if any tickets were left. He gave us ten minutes free parking so we all tromped out.

The line was growing longer by each passing minute and I told the three girls to stand on the side walk.  I sauntered up to the door where a huge black security dude was holding the crowd back. I tapped him on the back and asked if I could speak with him a minute? He was checking people in who had paid thirty extra dollars for the "Meet and Greet" with the band before the show. I stood there for about a minute and he said while still checking people's ID "Go ahead, I'm listening."

I told him I was wondering if maybe a few tickets may still be available after everyone got in...standing room was fine for us, we needed four tickets...actually three and a half I was just pint size and wouldn't take up much room. He said to just stand there and wait and he would see. I stood there patiently for ten minutes and remembered my car was in a ten minute parking spot in the garage. I peeked back around the corner at  the three girls and motioned for them to join me at the door where I was waiting patiently by my new huge BFF (big security dude.)

I told them I hadn't gotten a "NO" and asked them if they thought we should go ahead and pay ten bucks to park the car? We decided we had come this far so Massey and my friend Danielle went to pay and park the car. They let in all the "Meet and Greet " people and my BFF followed them all inside and shut the door. At least we were all huddled by  the door and out of the wind so we decided to just stand there and see if he'd come back. Forty five minutes passed and another big security dude came to unlock the exit door we were all huddled around. I saw another opportunity and seized it.

I pushed open the exit door he had just unlocked and asked to speak with him a minute. I'm a touchy feely kind of gal and grabbed his arm and held on tightly. I told him I had spoken with the other security guard asking if tickets may still be available to purchase and he told me he would check , to wait there. I asked him to tell my friend we were still waiting and didn't care if we were the last ones to get in...just find us four tickets to buy. He said he would tell his friend and went back in. Another forty five minutes passed and  my BFF came back out and said "Here's the deal, they oversold the show and there isn't enough room."

Never one to give up, I said "How about two tickets for my daughter and her friend? Danielle and I will wait outside for them." I had forgotten Massey's friend was just a freshman and her mother had only met me two hours earlier. Caleigh spoke up and said "My mom wouldn't want me going in without you."  Then I pulled  out my big guns and started shooting (verbally.)

I said "Here's the deal...I had no idea the show would sell out so quickly. It was pay my mortgage or buy concert tickets so I chose to keep my house. My daughter and her friend desperately want to see the show and this is my friend who I haven't seen since she got out of the Shepherd Center recovering from a brain injury sustained in a car crash. We won't take up much room...I barely even count, look how tiny I am! Please just see what you can do."

He sighed and said "Let me go see somebody else, I'll be right back. What's your name?" I  told him my name.

We waited another twenty minutes and they opened up the door and started letting people in. I told the girls we still had a chance. Once everyone else got in surely they could let four more in!

Not five minutes went by when my friend Danielle said "Look! He just came out the door again on the other side and I think he's holding tickets in his hand!" He cut through the line piling through the open door and came over to where we were  still standing. He held out four tickets and said "Enjoy the show." He didn't ask for any money just said "Go on in." By  this time there were hundreds of people lined up waiting to get in. I asked him if he wanted us to go to the back of the line but he waved us through  the crowd and we were among the first fifty people in the door after all four hugging his neck as we passed through. We got third row seats right by the stage but Massey and her friend opted to stand in front of the stage not five feet from where the band would perform. Danielle and I opted to sit in the third row, Massey and her friend weren't even ten feet from us. Second Hand Serenade was the opening act and before he came on I went out in the lobby and ran into the second security dude who grinned when he saw me. I said "Look who got in!!"  I told him "You just never know what you can get til you ask...and what can it hurt to ask? Tell your buddy he made the night for two young teen age girls, they think they are in Heaven!" He smiled and said "You  gotta try or you'll never know ...and I'll be sure to tell him you said thanks."

Look how close to the stage we were!

Danielle posted this pic of us on Facebook saying "Look where Kelly's big mouth just got us this time...into a concert for free!"

Second Hand Serenade was really good and Boyce Avenue didn't disappoint either. I just couldn't believe our luck. I never even thought we would get in much less for free and on the third row!

On the way out I spotted the guy who is Second Hand Serenade sitting at a little table in an alcove type section of the lobby. I told him he had put on a great show and he even let me take a picture of him with Massey. We got one of him with Caleigh too!

When I got up this morning I felt terrible that I had let everyone down. I didn't mean to, but you  gotta have priorities and the bills have to come first. I did the right thing and paid my bills and responsibilities first and my ole friend Karma took care of the rest! The girls were still on could nine when we got home and are still talking about the night in Massey's bedroom twenty feet behind me.

 Life is good. Live it right, take some chances and never give in or give up!

I never really  thought I'd get them into the show, I had the hundred dollars for the tickets but thought it was too late. I went ahead and tried anyway and gave it my best shot. I ended up not only getting the girls less than five feet from the stage for absolutely free but having their picture taken with a famous recording artist and firmly establishing myself as the mom bomb.com for at least a week or two.

Feeling pretty good...

Til next  time COTTON

I Think I Can See A Day Off Coming !

I'm not sure at this point, but I believe that after tomorrow I will have a day off. I have had one day off since August and the days have just run together and the week seems to never end.

I open the restaurant in the morning and after my day shift I finally have a day off. I wake up every day and don't even know what day it is...just know that I have to iron a work shirt and go into work at some point in the day.

These past few months have been incredibly hard on every one in our house and in our lives. My brother, sister and brother in law have been so supportive that I don't think I will ever live long enough to re pay their kindness, love and generosity.

I have always thought of myself as a person that would do anything for anyone...but lately these roles have seemed to reversed.

I have been humbled, I have been sometimes embarrassed but I have also learned how to accept help from the people that love me and be truly grateful for their love and compassion.

Heck...I feel like I have been working hard! These people are probably working harder than me just to help us keep afloat while maintaining their own lives as well.

I try to keep my depression down to a minimum. I had a small breakdown the other morning but felt better after I let the tears flow and cried myself silly in the bath tub and came out actually feeling a bit better.

I know that my husband will find work soon and know that I can hang on til that day arrives. I have lost more weight than I would like and can take my jeans off without even unsnapping them. I notice more lines on my face every day and more gray hair sprouting out of my two inch hair every time I run my fingers through it.

We've been through our savings and been through our 401K and now are simply living off of a server's salary...but at least we HAVE that salary and it seems to be getting us through with help of my touchstone (my sister) and the grace of God.

I know that when one door shuts, God opens a window. I just wish I could send him a can of WD- 4o, because our window seems to be sticking and I feel like I am suffocating.

At least I still have my sense of humor and I think that is one of the things I am most grateful for.

I got my kids approved for PeachCare and am just waiting for their cards to arrive. Then I can begin to use all the money I have paid into the system since I was 15 years old to help my kids be able to go their own doctor without worrying how I am going to pay for it.

All I need is ONE DAY OFF to re group and re think my next strategy.

I sleep probably 5 hours a night max, waking up at least twice...once to go pee and once to try and remember what time I have to go into work.

I say all of this because I want to remember all of this .

I want to remember this feeling of despair and this feeling of worry so that when we DO get back on our feet I will appreciate it to it's fullest and know how it feels to be in this situation.

There are so many people around the globe that don't have family and friends that can help them through the tough times, help them survive and give them unyielding support.

Yes, I am one of the lucky ones.

I don't live in Dafur or Afghanistan . I live in a country where people reach out and help, and where if you forge ahead and work your hardest...ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

Granted I pray for that "something" to happen soon...but I have full faith it will and one day down the road ...years from now, Tim and I will be sitting on a porch with grand kids scurrying all around us and we will be laughing and holding hands saying to each other "Do you remember back in 2009..."

Til next time.. a humbled and grateful COTTON

A Banner Day For the Cottons

My daughter had her awards ceremony at 9:30 this morning. I went into work two hours early to get everything set up for opening at 11:00 , so I could sneak away at 9:20...make the five minute drive to her school to watch the awards and be back at the store by the time we opened at 11.

Catch number one: my sister was going to meet me at the school, she called me at work five minutes before I was going to leave and said "The sign out front of the school says the awards ceremony started at 9:00."

I flew out of the back door of the restaurant flying down the road to the school, feeling reminiscent about the trip at 85MPH in a driving monsoon to Macon to see Massey in her state competition for Winter guard. At least it wasn't raining today!

Catch number two: Her principal is an obvious blow hard who loves the sound of his own voice. I was thirty minutes late and he was just giving out the first award.

This is an example of how he introduced EACH and EVERY award:

"This next award is for the A/B honor roll students...this means that each and every one of these students had an
'A' or 'B' average, no one had any 'C' on their report card or received a grade lower than a 'B.' Certainly no dastardly 'D' and maintained this average for the last semester. These students had only A's or B's for the entire nine weeks."

For pete's sake! I was never on the A/B roll and even I know what "A/B" means...It means all A's and B's.

When you are in a class of 313, you have to cut to the nitty gritty.

Next came the "Perfect Attendance".

As he stated: "This award goes to these students who have maintained a perfect attendance record... this means that not one of these students have missed even ONE day of school for the past semester and have been here every day of the school period of the last nine weeks."

Thank the Lord he cleared THAT one up for me!

Next was the Perfect, Perfect attendance, which means "that every student has not only been present each and every day, but has not checked in late or checked out early for the entire nine weeks and has been present for the entire day for the entire nine week period."

After that we had to endure perfect attendance for the entire school year and perfect, perfect attendance for the entire school year.

Next came the sports awards. My sister remarked on the size of one of the recipients..a big ole strapping boy. She asked me if he was really in middle school...I told her he was probably an eighth grader like my son Zach was a sophomore (at almost seventeen)...I told her he probably doubled as a bus driver for field trips and would receive THAT award next, once the principal thoroughly explained it to us idiots.

It went on and on and on. When they gave out academic awards, I went to move my illegally parked car, knowing for sure I wouldn't miss anything. Not that my kids are dumb, they just choose not to excel in the academic area any more than they have to. As I told my sister, you really don't have to bring a camera to these things if you are one of my kids...just show up for moral support.

Oh there were the smart kid's parents with their zoom lens cameras walking the perimeter waiting to snap that photo, adjust their F-stop ... zoom in on the face of their over achiever and get THAT SHOT! The kid may be smart, but they are still a middle school kid and most looked mortified that their parents wouldn't just sit in the stands like the rest of us and leave the the student to blend in with every one else and act like they didn't even HAVE parents ...much less ones that were there in the gym.

After over two hours we were only half way through the program and I had to leave to be at work by the time we opened. I told my sister that I would walk out the other door so that maybe I could see where Massey was and blow her a kiss and let her know I was there. I caught her beautiful face...she brightened a thousand times just seeing me and I mouthed to her "I have to go, but Aunt Cindy is in the back." She blew me a kiss and I pointed to where Cindy was in the stands. By this point , the older people, probably grand parents were dropping like flies, leaving every exit they could find.

The only awards left were the important ones , like the superintendent's award, all kind of awards named for our county's big shots and awards sponsored by Kiwanis, Coca Cola and so forth.

As I was pulling into the parking lot at work, five minutes before we opened, I received a text from my sister: "She just got the Citizenship Award from Coca Cola."

Cindy said she was making a grocery list when she heard my daughter's name called.

Massey told me later that she was quietly chatting with her friends when someone said "THAT'S YOUR NAME!!"

The program I have from the ceremony reads as follows:

The Coca Cola Citizenship Award is sponsored by Coca Cola and given to the student that exemplifies outstanding citizenship and character. The award is presented to one male and one female student.

I thought that I would bust out crying. It was voted on by the teachers...out of 313 students, they chose MY GIRL!!

I am so glad that my sister was there to see it and that my girl got such an appropriate award!

Cindy checked her out of school after the awards and brought her to the restaurant for lunch.

My manager bought both of their lunches, all my co workers went by to hug her and look at the medal she had gotten. My best friend at work gave her a ten dollar bill. The cooks sent her a huge dessert..two huge pieces of chocolate cake, five types of chocolate, chocolate mousse, two scoops of vanilla bean ice cream..hot fudge and whipped cream.

It was a banner day for her AND me.

I got home from work around five, and Zach told me that he had gotten a"Perfect Perfect" attendance award at the high school as well. What the heck...he may not be doing much but at least he shows up! Kudos for my boy getting something too! I started to ask him how they described the award and how long did it take them to describe it "Perfectly?"

All in all a great day! I hated that I missed Massey getting her big award, but so happy that my sis was there to cheer her on.

I am one of the luckiest people I know. I have terrific kids, they may not turn out to be brain surgeons...but they will turn out to be wonderful people and a definite addition to society. They will always make me proud...of THAT I am sure. They certainly made me proud today.

God has blessed the Cottons and for that... I am truly grateful !!

With a heart bursting with pride....COTTON

Recommended Reading....(besides my blog)

I am reading the most absolutely wonderful and enlightening book that I have read in YEARS! It is entitled "Eat, Pray, Love", by Elizabeth Gilbert. It has almost become a mantra to me.... a book that I felt I needed a highlighter pen to read it with. So MANY profound statements and observations about life... that I found myself constantly saying "I have GOT to remember that"!!! If you read ONE book this year, I recommend this one!! As a forty eight year old woman, wife and mother...this book has touched me and made me think about the entire scheme of life in an entirely different way. I am on the last part of the book(three parts) and I am intentionally slowing down because I already dread it being over with!! She writes and sounds a lot like me (that isn't the reason that I recommend it) and I feel such empathy for her , and the excellent way she figures EVERYTHING out. Should I ever make money and get all three of my kids out of the house...I will do the EXACT same thing she did and KNOW that I will reap rewards untold!! I feel like OPRAH pitching a "Book Club" selection (which this book probably was)...but caring for my limited and few readers...I felt compelled to share this amazing discovery with you. Pick up a copy and it will change your life... Life is a road we are ALL destined to travel...it is all about choosing the correct route...it may not be the easiest route to travel....but the one that will take you DIRECTLY to your destination and ultimately your life's total state of well being and sincere happiness. TRUST ME...I am being totally serious (and not even getting a kick back from the Author)!!! Till next time...COTTON