Sunday, August 4, 2013

I Will Not Give Up...EVER!

You know,  this point in my life is filled with wonderful things yet loaded with problems. I refuse to let them get me down. I've had so many blessings and that's the way I look at my life... "Glass Half Full."

My driver's license expired on my birthday but since I don't have a car and my husband doesn't have a car I put it on the back burner. My younger son bought my old Beemer from me and since it is registered to me the tag expired on my birthday  as well. It has a "Check Engine" light on so he ain't getting a tag either. So  here we sit...literally. Tim has been picking up odd jobs and needs a car so Massey's car has been put to the task of hauling all four of us around.

I'm not too worried, I work eight minutes from the house when you are in a vehicle. I'm no wimp and needs be I can walk to work.  I don't want to but at least that's an option.

I decided to get my ducks in a row for renewing my license which is in itself a ridiculous affair. They want my marriage license, birth certificate, Social Security card and three utility bills.  The bills I got plenty of. I haven't seen my Social Security card since I had my name changed when I married Tim. I vaguely remember  the preacher  handing us a copy of our marriage certificate and like the pack  rat I am (all it takes is one IRS audit) knew I could dig it up.  I came home  from work today  and sat in the garage for two hours going through boxes. I found articles from the newspapers about my Diddy  when he died from West Nile virus.  I found pics of Massey when she came into this world weighing four pounds. I found report cards and shot records from all three kids, I found Zach and  Massey's Social Security cards and even found my own. I  found letters from  friends, diaries I had  forgotten about and Christmas cards from 1988. I found the  guest book  from my Diddy's  funeral , so essentially I found  the last twenty  years or so of my life.

I've had an excellent life.

So stinking what the past few years have been hard? There are tens of millions who  would give their own life just to have mine.

I feel like I'm a pretty  good person, not the best  but certainly not the worst. We have been at  the point of losing our home, we have been broke more often than not but have made it through. We have survived by  the Grace of God, family and friends.

When our A/C in the house went out this summer a friend stepped up and stepped in. I had a dream last night about him having  our A/C fixed. It was a crazy dream (as they all are) but reminded me this morning when I woke up  from a night of hot flashes once again how lucky I am.

I have people cheering me on. I have friends pitching in and  have blessings from above.

I have a blind dog. If you don't have dogs, it may sound stupid but am more worried about getting his eyes fixed  than I am about my getting  to work. At least I can see to walk down the road to work.

I have complete and total confidence in myself. Tell me I can't do something, and I'll make it happen. Tell me all is lost and  the game is over and I'll scramble. It might not be pretty and may be last minute but this girl will make it happen.

That's the way life works when you are loved and believe me...I am loved.

 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 No one ever said it better!, ALL the time, love is all you  need.

Trust me, I am a clanging cymbal who is entirely grateful!

Til next  time...COTTON

No comments: