Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Don't Make Me Go All "DDS" on You!

So my license expired on my birthday last week. Took me forever to round up all the paperwork they needed but since I currently don't even have a vehicle, took my time about it. All four of us are sharing Massey's little car. Zach and Tim's are both in the shop and I haven't finished paying off the station wagon I'm getting from German Mike. (our sorta sketchy mechanic/ car dude) Then I realized the other day when I went to the store when Tim was off I was driving without a valid license...oops!

Woke up before eight this morning , brushed my teeth and wet down my "Boy Do" and headed to  the dreaded DDS. Here's my first gripe: It was always called the "DMV" until a few short years ago. "DDS" means the dentist, not the Department of Driver Services. Number two: it's not much  of a service here in  Coweta County as it is a pain in the butt. Actually maybe they were right renaming it because sometimes it's almost as painful as a root canal going there.  Today was no exception.

I got there ten minutes after they opened and had about thirty people in  front of me just waiting to get in the door. I was behind Snoop Dog. I hadn't been there thirty seconds when a woman came outside in her fancy little DDS shirt and announced the system was down, no testing and no estimated time of getting the system back running. The only thing they were testing was my patience today so I stayed in line. Snoop Dog left shaking his head and I moved up a spot!

Thirty minutes later I was at  the door, it was open and could feel the air conditioning from inside. NOW we're getting  somewhere!

By  this point I had started chatting (go  figure) with  a young girl behind me and the dude behind her, who was around my age.  I told the girl she was too young to remember but this reminded me of when they changed when you  got your tag renewed back in the early eighties and you  would spend four hours in a line wrapped around the building just to get your car  tag. People would bring chairs to sit in the lines were so long. Old dude nodded, he remembered.

 All three of us moved inside the door around nine o'clock and sat on a little ledge by the window. By  this point there were at  least fifty people in line behind us outside on the sidewalk.

The "Dentist" had a poster on  the wall for us all to read telling us how much  they cared. By  the poster was a stack of comment cards so I picked one up. The old dude behind the young girl behind me said in a very droll tone "Don't even waste the ink in your pen." We all three sat on  the ledge as long as we could and agreed  there was no reason to get up when the person in front of us was still waiting to  advance. So what they had moved up  five feet? I told the young girl to wait until we couldn't see  the person in front of us when they rounded the corner, then we'd get up and everyone would shuffle forward fifteen feet and think the line was REALLY moving!

We all rounded the corner ten minutes later and could actually see  what was going on inside the facility. We  stood there another fifteen minutes. There was a young guy in a chair directly to our right waiting to have his picture taken. For the entire fifteen minutes he sat there as the woman behind the counter tried to get the camera to work. Ten minutes in, the old dude said. Damn, he must be wanted in four states as long as they've had him sitting there.

Never one to be shy I called out to the guy in the chair "Hey, what are they  doing, DRAWING your picture?" This got a chuckle out of the young girl behind me and a flat out laugh from old dude behind her.

The young guy sheepishly said "Guess so" and I countered with "I don't have time to sit for a portrait today and didn't even put on makeup."

Ten minutes later I had a number and a clipboard with a pen to fill out my form. Old dude was still waiting in line but high fived the young girl behind me when they said "Next!" I put my hand beside my mouth  and looked back at  old dude and said "Look at me, I got a clipboard AND a pen!" Then I whispered,  "I'm keeping the pen, don't tell anybody."

It went quicker after that but it's still ridiculous. If you have all your stuff, it should be a five minute ordeal at  the most.

Then my number was called and I walked to the window. I saw a nice looking black guy who  seemed to be in charge walking around and it hit me, "I know him." Thank goodness Massey wasn't with me because whenever I say that she always says "You  know everybody, Mother."

I asked the woman taking my information down what his name was and knew before she said "Clyde"  it was a guy I went to  high school and was in the band with with. I hollered out (as I normally always do) "Hey Clyde, get your saxophone and come over here, I'm Kelly Leach!"

He smiled and I told him he looked great!  Nice guy that he is, said I did too. He asked me if I could still do my cheer leading moves and I said "I could do a cart wheel split right in the floor here if they'd let me!" The woman waiting on me seemed dazed but Clyde just laughed and said  that wouldn't be necessary. He still lives in East Point,  the town I grew up in and is running for Mayor.  The city would do good to elect him, he's always been a stand up guy.

Five minutes later I left with my new license and a renewed friendship.

Came home and  cranked ole Johnny up  for a four hour ride.

My sod has taken off and have done a lot of weed pulling in the island out front.
This entire area used to be nothing but red Georgia clay.
 The side yard is taking off  too,  used to be only red clay and exposed  roots.
Ziggy loves it when I cut the back yard. Of course being a pup he gets excited over anything. 

I'm Rain Man the savant when I cut the back. I start at the edge of the fence and cut blowing all the grass out to the side of the fence. Then when I reach  the fire pit in the middle of the yard I reverse and go the other way blowing all the clippings back out. Then I weed eat the edge of the fence where all the clippings are. Then I rake up all the clippings and throw them in the fire pit. Yes it's a six hour job but for some reason I am happy as a clam after all is done,  edges trimmed front and back, driveway and walkway swept and can walk out side and say, "That looks pretty darned good!"

Even threw a roast in the crock pot after I got home from the DDS/DMV with taters, carrots, onion and celery.  Made some gravy and cooked some rice and field peas with snaps. The inside of our house is another story but I'm off again tomorrow and will  tackle that job then.

Little Sir Charles even seemed  to like the freshly  cut back yard. Here he is doing what he does best...NOTHING.

I'm covered  with chigger bites, smell like a wrestler not allowed to bathe but the yards look great, got food cooked and put up to feed us tomorrow too.  Going to soak in a hot, hot tub. My knees are ridiculous from  breaking up the dog fight yesterday and although the pups have licked them all day when they had the chance (they always feel bad about  battle wounds they inflict) I'm heating up a five quart pot of water and adding it to my bath water. Drinking a cold one and peacing out. Maybe one more episode of Game of Thrones, but then I'm done.

Tomorrow is Massey's  day.  We gotta  get some student loans to fill the gap. It's Ham's day too, gotta get in touch with the foundation about his eyes. It's hard keeping three dogs separated  and it's hard letting  your little girl go.

Life's never dull round these parts.

Til next  time...COTTON

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