Oops...My Bad

I accused Zach of something today and he denied it. I knew he did it, but he wouldn't fess up. My three dollar carton of sour cream was missing from my refrigerator and it sure didn't walk off by itself. I even called Tim after he left the house to see if he had taken it. I was making leftover fajitas and couldn't find  the carton I had just opened last night. Zach is a cook and loves to go his friend's houses and create meals for  them. He often takes my spices and sometimes my cookware. Sometimes he brings them back but more often than not they are gone for good. He left around ten thirty last night and came home a little after midnight.

When my sour cream went missing I just knew he had taken it. I know it just cost three bucks but it was the point. DON'T TAKE MY STUFF and if you do, admit to it. The argument escalated and Zach ended up walking out of the house. I didn't see him the rest of the day. I guess he walked the five miles to work since his car's in the shop. I was livid. If you'd lie about a stinking carton of sour cream what did THAT say?

Let me say here that Zach and I are so much alike it ain't even funny, except that he is on the verge of being a genius and I am a doofus. He has made some wrong choices but paid for his mistakes and doing great with his new job.

I am a stressed out almost broke fifty three year old waitress with  a husband on unemployment trying to send a daughter off  to college this week. She needed  few more  things today so I headed out this morning with her shopping list. I began at  the Dollar Tree, where everything is a buck and worked my way up to the Dollar General. I relented and bought her name brand tampons.

Zach was on my mind all day.  He is as headstrong and willful as I am...no  wonder we often butt heads.

Tim left today on his job hunt and packed his lunch  to take with him. He came home around eight and said "You know what? I DID pick up  that sour cream carton out of  the refrigerator, I thought it had leftovers in it."

Oops...My Bad.

Tim went to pick Zach up from work while I sat here feeling like a big ole pile of Ziggy's dog poop. I told Massey what happened and she simply said "Sounds like someone owes somebody an apology."

Zach came home and went straight up  to his room. I followed him up and knocked on his door. I apologized and said I was wrong. He said he was moving out at the end of the week. I apologized again, what else could I do at  this point? I told him to wait until at least he had his car fixed and some money saved up.

So  a stupid missing carton of sour cream sent me over the edge. I'm not sure what that says about my mental stability. I've been a bit stressed lately with  Massey starting college, me down to one job and Tim looking for one.

I need to take a deep breath, step back from the edge I feel myself teetering on and realize how blessed I really am. Did I actually lose it over a three dollar tub of sour cream? Granted I love my sour cream, but is it worth losing a son over?

I have  a blind dog I am worried  about, I have a daughter's college education to pay for  and a husband who needs a job.

Then I watch  the news and see some idiot nineteen year old walking into an elementary school with an assault rifle wanting the local TV station to show up so  they can film him 'Killing some cops."

My kids aren't so bad...even IF Zach had taken  the sour cream, he'd never walk into a school full of little kids and shoot up  the office.

Yep, I have once again forgotten  how lucky and blessed I am. I hope Zach forgives me. I hope he waits until he has enough money  to move out. I don't mind his moving out at  all, just want him to have a vehicle and some spare cash first.

In  the words of a an old movie..."It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World."

I'm not the best mom, I'm not the worst mom. I'm simply A mom.

Til next  time...COTTON