Oh Brother Why For Art Thou Here?

Had to be at work for a meeting at 8AM. By the time it was over the doors were open for business at 11AM.



During the meeting my cell phone began buzzing in my back pocket. The server next to me reached for hers and I quietly told her it was mine. I looked discreetly at my phone and saw that it was Massey calling. I put my phone back in my pocket only to hear it buzz again...this time with a text: "When are u coming home?" I put it back into my pocket once again only to hear it buzzing again not five minutes later with a voice mail. After two hours they gave us a bathroom break and I took the time to call Massey back and see what was the emergency was.

She wanted to know where the throat spray was...her throat was really sore. For Pete's sake...I am at a meeting in Peachtree City and the throat spray is somewhere in the house in Newnan. Should she ask her dad who is in the living room or should she call me in a meeting at work where the Vice President of the company that I work for is speaking to us about a million dollar renovation of our store?

If you have a teenage daughter, I guess you already know the answer to THAT question.

So back to the draining, droning meeting I went. My doofus co worker (the one who most likely owns an UZI) asked the most inane and idiotic questions time and time again adding at least thirty minutes to the meeting. I started to say "You know, you probably won't be here that much longer so don't bother with the stupid questions."

If I could have been sure he hadn't already brought the UZI into work with him , I would have said it, but since I am the only currently employed person in our household, I just bit my tongue and continued to screen my constant texts from Massey.

I went home after the meeting to see Massey sprawled across her death bed. Cleopatra came to my mind the minute I walked into her room. She is such a drama queen that I never know when it is actual pain or just the angst of a 14 year old girl making everything more dramatic than it needs to be.

She did had a slight fever and I gave her some Advil and a glass of water.

I cleaned house for the two hours I had to spare before I had to be back at work at 3:00. My manager had already called and wanted me to go by the Newnan store to pick up some Swiss cheese and to go bags. That meant I had to leave thirty minutes before I planned to.

Zipped by the Newnan store and went to work.

My husband told me last night that his brother was coming to stay with us for a night from St. Augustine. That is why I went home and cleaned like a demon.

What the HEY...one more person to feed, that is JUST what I need. I felt like asking my husband if he might want to ask his brother to bring a friend? Maybe by that point we could get some help from "Hosea Feeds The Hungry."

I love this brother in law...he is my favorite of the five brothers that my husband has...but this is not the greatest of times for an impromptu visit.

With the house clean enough for a man (that doesn't take much) I flew back to work my 3 to close shift.

When I came home, I almost started crying before I pulled into the drive.

I had already thought about the parking...Tim knows I get ticked if people come over and block my entrance to the garage. I am not picky about a lot of things (well maybe I am ) but I hate it when people come over and park like no one else has to get into the garage .

I keep my space clear in the garage so that I can pull in , get out of my car and walk four feet to the kitchen door.

Tim "Kinda" helped me...KINDA.

I pulled into the driveway with my headlights shining on the horrible tracks I had left in my side yard when Zach's friends had made me squeeze out of the garage the other morning running late for work and got stuck in the mud.

I pulled in and my brother in law had driven a van up from St. Augustine...an "Econoline." It was the size of van that a church would use to go pick up invalids or orphans.

Guess where he had parked it to give me access to my garage?

Not on the street...like a sane person. He had pulled it into my FRONT YARD....you know , the one that has seen five inches of rain in the past three days.

I could see the tracks where he had backed up and re positioned the big clunker (Dang, just park it once if you're gonna "F" up my whole front yard.)

I was sick about it.

I truly love this man and he is a great brother in law...but doesn't ANY man notice how trim, neat and carefully cut I keep my yard...and maybe parking a Shuttle Van in my grass may cause some damage to MY lawn?

While I was cleaning the kitchen tonight my husband came downstairs and I told him that I almost broke into tears when I came home and saw the Land Yacht on my grass. He said he would go tell his brother to move it and I said "NO...I'll look like a bitch."

I mean the damage is already done..I told my husband to just ask him to park on the street tomorrow...so I can get a landscaping rake and try to save what I have LEFT of a yard.

Why is my life this way?

Am I just destined to ALWAYS have something to write about?

I thought the horse messed up the football field on Friday night...You should SEE my yard now...Maybe Princess Senoia brought "Chief" over for a tromp while I was at work.

It sure looks like it.

Til next time...COTTON