Five More Days...

Five more days and we're off for a real vacation. The first one in over four years. Tim rented the condo...no wonder he bums gas money off me every day.

My ultra crazy mother in-law lives in St. Augustine and  the Clampetts are loading up some bologna, bread and water bottles and going. At least I know we will eat good ONE night. My Maw-in-law makes a mean Bouillabaisse.

I wasn't really down with whole "Va-Cay" but as the time approaches, maybe I am! It will be on a shoe string budget but still be a week in a place I don't have to clean...not that I have cleaned my own house really well lately. My dogs and grime even make the Jehovah's witnesses only ring the door bell once. I  think I saw one of them running back to his bicycle.

I took a slack schedule at work last week  because it was the slowest week in the restaurant world. The thing is, the less I work the less I want to work. Got lucky on a few shifts and made it through the week and caught up on two years worth of sleep.

I cooked more in one week than I have in over two years. The family was fat and happy and  I think we only used the microwave to warm up left overs...another first in two years.

Tim just walked in the door from work and said he could cover gas money. Guess the bologna's on me.

You know what? After the past few years...I'd drive down to  St. Augustine (if Tim pays for gas) and stay in a homeless shelter.

I won't have to clock in for a week. Give me a towel and a book and I will feel like I am in paradise.  Zach is staying home (county mandate) and I am  yet entrusting him to another one of my vehicles. I feel better about it this time but wish he were going with us.

My brother may be coming down for a day or two if he can summon the nerve or  time. We've invited my sis and her hubby too. It sleeps five but to us that means we can squeeze in at least ten, fourteen if they don't mind sleeping on the floor.

Going in  for a double shift on Monday. Dread it but if I can muscle through this week...it will be awesome. Seven days where I have nothing to do but boss around my husband and tell him once again what he does wrong...all the time.

God bless Tim Cotton.  At least he is married to a woman that will never kill him (knowingly) and would lay down her life for him.

Oops...after midnight now...FOUR MORE DAYS!

Getting pumped...COTTON

All Chicks Back In The Nest

No my kid's aren't bald eagle chicks but I hope they each soar to great heights. TJ came down for a visit today. Charlie was really happy to see his "babydaddy."  Ham and Charlie got into a fight the other day in the back yard. Massey was out back with  them when Charlie decided out of the twenty chew toys I have in the yard, he wanted the one Ham was chewing on. That didn't go over well with Ham and as usual, he had Charlie pinned down when I ran out the back door hearing Massey screaming at  the top of her lungs. Dog  fights are horrible to witness...especially when a bulldog is involved. They can be getting their butt beat (which he was) but never give up. I finally pulled Ham off and he went running for the back door. Charlie's face was a mess. Ham had him pinned by  his snout and Charlie was bleeding like crazy. I whipped them both, put Ham inside , cleaned up Charlie's face and slathered it with neosporin.

They have been doing so well, especially with  the new pup. (who hid under the patio table during the entire debacle)  We haven't had a dog fight for well over a year.  It may have been the 100 degree heat or it may have just been another "Battle of the balls."

They both  knew they were in  trouble. Later that night I looked out back and Ham was licking Charlie's battle scars...Idiots!

Charlie has been sluggish ever since.  He hasn't been eating a lot but his nose has been wet and if I had MY butt  whipped by a 85 pound boxer/english bulldog mix think I would probably be a little squeamish too.

That all changed today when TJ came in the house. I think Charlie thought TJ  heard he was wounded and came by  to check up on him. I put the other two dogs out back and let TJ love on his boy for a while. Charlie perked right up!

TJ loves the new pup...who couldn't love our new tiny black horse? All  the dogs have behaved and it's been nice having TJ here.

TJ may be my step son but have never considered him one. People that have known me for years are often surprised if I happen to mention TJ's mom. When I met Tim,  TJ was just turning two and has been in my life since.  I've been a mom to him longer than I have to Massey and Zach...he'll always be my first born. (who left no stretch marks or sore booty)

For years it was TJ and Zach  that were close. Once Zach started to flounder he didn't like anyone. Massey and TJ are closer now and although I love them being close, I hate Zach and his big brother not being closer.

Today the tide just as suddenly changed. I went out to cut my neighbor Mr. "Slow" Lee's grass and came back inside. TJ and Zach were in  the living room together watching a movie and talking. It made my heart sing!

I am so close to my brother and sister now. When we were young...not so much. The older we got, the more parents we lost, the closer we became. I want this for my own three. Fight now if you want, have falling outs and falling aparts.

To my kids:

As you  grow older, grow closer. Remember that I love you all equally in different ways but with the same passion. Remember all  the cookies and brownies I made you, boo boos I kissed and papers I helped you  write in school. Remember when I checked you out of school for no reason and checked  you in late for the same non reason. Remember all  the times I bailed you out, literally  and figuratively. Remember that under ANY circumstance you can each three come to me and I will help. Know that you are loved more than anything in my heart mind and soul after The Big Guy upstairs and even though I don't deserve "Mother of the year" you kids rock my world!

You have kept me young  at heart and at  the same time made me an old woman but I wouldn't change having  the three of you for anything in this world. Yes I remember all the trips to the ER. I remember all the stitches. I remember your stay in Egleston hospital that terrified me. I remember the first  time you had a car wreck. I remember when you totalled MY car out.

I also remember when you  made me a polar bear out of clay...it still sits in my kitchen window. I remember when you made me a lady bug out of a rock, it sits by  the polar bear! I remember so many things that I could go on forever.

God forbid something happens to my mind and one day I become a discombobulated mess...know I will appreciate you taking care of me or finding some nice place for me to sit and try and remember.

But at  the age of fifty two, I have the most glorious and sometimes gloomy memories of all three of you. I still think there was a baby swap when you were all born but I am keeping you all.

You are all three unique. You are all three so different. You are all three mine and I could not love you more if someone held a gun to my head.

Growing older now and you three (as Massey  says) "Most  Probs" don't read my blog... but now it is written in cyber space...which I heard is the new "Written in stone."

You three are  the best part of me...and for that I sincerely "Thank You!"

Til next time...a contented COTTON

Happy Birthday Zachary !!

Today is Zachary's twentieth birthday. The above photo is one of my all  time favorites...my boy's always been a dreamer.

The photo below melts my heart every time I see it. Zach and Grandpa making each other smile!

Although none of my kids ever got to meet my Momma, at least they all got to know their Grampa.

They have all had the good fortune to know and love their Uncle Chris...just look how thrilled my brother looks spending some quiet time with Zachary!


This next photo moves on to Zach's next phase..."Cousin Itt." This was an early pic...he let his hair grow for two more years much  to my delight (not) but my pediatrician told me a wise saying around this time:  "Choose your battles wisely when raising teens. A hair cut isn't one of them."

He has cleaned up pretty well...literally , mentally and physically.



Zach has been  my easiest AND hardest child to raise. He was smarter than me by the time he was in second grade and ended up being my Genius child (that doesn't quite know how to use it.)

When he was about nine and we were doing pretty well financially and had terrific insurance;  I decided to switch him to a male pediatrician. I remember our first visit like it was last week. We were in  the little room waiting for the doctor and there was a really old map of the United States on  the wall. It was just sectioned into territories...not states. The doctor had just come into the room and was washing his hands when trying to make small talk to make Zach feel more comfortable,  I said  "Look at  this map...this small section is only marked "Indian Territory." Zach glanced over his shoulder at  the map and calmly said "That's where they shoved all the Indians."  Dr. Roberts first words to me were something along the lines of "He's pretty smart."

When Zach turned ten our Muslim neighbors moved in next door. Getting to know them was a wonderful experience and quickly put an end to my short but ignorant bias of Muslims after 911.  The father worked for the FAA. They were from Sudan originally. They had four kids and the oldest was eight...he obviously knew how to get a birka (spelled it wrong but you get the point) off quickly! He was out washing his car one day. Zach sat out there talking to him for about thirty minutes then came back inside  to play video games. I went out with  a bag of trash and Karim was still in his driveway and we chatted. He  remarked  "Zach is one of the smartest kids I ever met. He just told me more about the Air Bus than even I knew." I laughed and told Karim "He also knows how to build a nuclear bomb but refuses  to get a hair cut."

Zach can tell you more about history, economics, geography, religion and politics than anybody  I ever met. We think  there may have been a baby swap at the hospital but after twenty  years, we're keeping him.

He has always been a rebel. (Wonder where he got THAT?)

I made  the mistake of telling him he was smart when he was young...he always hated hearing it and tried to prove me wrong as a teen. He struggled and got side tracked. He made some mistakes but paid for them like a man.

If  this kid put his mind to it, he could change  the world. If this kid put forth his God given talent he could go so  far it's ridiculous.

I remember when he had his Cousin Itt look and refused to cut his hair, a young girl at the pool one summer day said "You'd be cute if you had your hair cut."

The next  day he asked me to take him for a hair cut. I silently thanked The Lord and loaded him up in the car. I even stayed in the car and simply gave him money to get it cut. Thirty minutes later he walked out with liberty spikes that were about ten inches long. smh...

He kept it for a while, getting up at six AM to put the Elmer's glue in his spikes while his younger sister held the blow dryer.

That phase passed and somehow he passed his classes at school. My husband said to me one morning "If we can just get him out of high school the kid will be the next  Bill Gates."

He got out of high school with  a resounding silent ovation from the faculty but at least I got to see him walk across  that stage and handed a diploma. I am proud of all three of my kids. They all caused me heart ache along the way but have given me thousands upon thousands of smiles and priceless memories on the journey.

Today is Zachary Tyler Cotton's 20th birthday!

Zach is WAY too much like me. Sometimes I think that's a good thing and sometimes I think it's a bad thing.

He is currently slaving away in the kitchen of the restaurant where I work...not an easy place to be. (I work for "Cray- Crays" as Massey  calls them)

He has hung in there, been berated for mistakes and talked to at times horribly, which makes my heart hurt for him. It's tough working in a kitchen...especially when it is family owned and they actually GIVE a crap about  their restaurant.

I love him twenty four seven. He lets me in return rub his cute little shaved head every once in a while.

He has bumbled and fumbled but he is my boy and no matter what I will be there for him.

That's what Momma's do!

Til next time...COTTON

Can This Be Real?

Webster's defines Life as "The physical, mental, and spiritual experiences that constitute existence."

Well my friends I have been  there done that and got the tee shirt.

I had a beyond excellent childhood,  had parents  that loved me and a sister and brother that detested me...what siblings EVER got along before they reach adulthood? Maybe the "Brady Bunch" but they got paid to act happy.

Now  that we are all grown (or as grown  as I'm getting) we are close...VERY close. I lost  my  Momma when I was seventeen...suddenly and unexpectedly. I lost my Diddy in much  the same fashion  when I was in my early forties. He went from a healthy seventy seven year old man to a dying man in ten days.

I look back on these facts and  finally see the lesson.

I was raised by  the best. I experienced nothing but happiness for seventeen years. Learned about death and somehow dealt with it, badly at  times but I made it through.

My twenties were a blur and pretty much a waste but I once again survived. (Barely)

My thirties were marvelous, I met Tim and started a family.

For ten years we made so much progress it seemed crazy! We went from  scraping together to working together to moving ahead together. We bought our first brand new house and weren't rich but were saving  money and had money. He moved up in his company and I started working for a restaurant that was close to home and made pretty good money for working thirty hours a week.

We didn't live big but we had  a great life. It all came crashing down when I least  expected it. (It always does)

Tim took a chance a a new job venture which turned out horribly and ended up with him being out of work for over a year. I had a good job so I just kicked into gear and started working sometimes thirty days in a row and somehow we survived.

Tim got a job from a dear friend of mine stocking shelves overnight at Wal Mart. He left there every morning and went to park cars at  an auto auction....but he did it with  a smile and a sparingly  packed lunch.

He went from us making over six figures to being paid minimum wage. He was just happy to be working. I will always love Tim for doing this...he swallowed his pride and kept his family afloat.

Then the bottom truly fell out. I went into work one day, most probably my  thirtieth  in a row and  they fired me on the spot.

I cried the entire way home and cried even more when I reached there.

I spent a week in the deepest pit of depression I ever experienced...then I picked myself up off the floor and went out and filed for food stamps, unemployment and put my younger two kids on Peach Care. I broke down in every office I went to. I cried  with every person I had to speak with...but I did it.

The next week I went to see friends that owned their own restaurant and begged them for a job. Not much begging was required and I was hired on the spot.

I threw myself into the work force again and picked up as many shifts as they would let me. Sometimes I worked every shift, sometines I worked all but one.

For the first year it was easy...the second not so much. As much as I would like to think I am Super Woman...I ain't.

What is crazy is I had so many friends that came to our rescue. We got  cash donations in the mail, groceries delivered to the house,  money orders to pay for Thanksgiving dinner, gift cards to grocery stores, people mailed Massey  donations to help with her band dues and even helped pay for her much  coveted Letterman jacket. It amazed me, it uplifted me and made me realize not to be ashamed  you need help but to be grateful that people love you.

Tim finally got a job...it sucked but he went in every day. Then he got another one, it sucked less but he still went. Now he has a job that sucks a bit less but is still beneath his qualified skills. "Baby Steps."

Right when I thought I was going to lose what little mind I had left...the tide turned. The cut off notice from the power  company hasn't been hung on my front door knob in over two months. I have managed to keep the cell phones on...which I once thought a luxury but with teens driving I insist on having.

I had  to take a step back. Can I continue working like a maniac or continue to live?

I chose life... "The physical, mental and spiritual experiences that constitute  existence."

Another definition of Life... "A source of vitality; an animating force."

That my friends, is ME!

I am animated to say the least and I have vitality.

I don't want to stretch so far as to say it has been a 180 degree turn...but we are getting close and I am one lucky person to have made it this far.

Going to bed. I cooked more this week than I have cooked in the past year. My family has eaten home cooked meals every  night this past week. We have leftovers in the fridge and I feel more rested than I have in a year.

That's right..."I'm doing a happy dance!"


Don't feel sorrry for me, that was not my intention with  this blog. Feel sorry  for the millions and millions and millions of others that would consider themselves lucky to be in my  shoes...even when we were at our worst.

I am a lucky woman...

COTTON

Happy Fourth!

I shouldn't have used this picture but if she is stupid enough to post it on google images I am smart enough to use it! It made me laugh...and laugh and laugh.

I am from the south. I went to a high school that was fully integrated. By the time I graduated it was fifty fifty at best. It was my first lesson in learning to accept others and their culture.

I learned a lot from my black friends. Some important lessons and some that weren't so much important yet very enlightening. I learned to to "pre RAP." I learned about the differences between their hair and mine. I learned that although we were all human...my life seemed to have a lot more humanity. They were made to swim in a separate pool on the other side of town, go to a separate gym on the other side of town to play ball and stayed on "Their side of  the tracks." No wonder they got pissed.

When a black person is cut...what color is the blood?

That is all I needed to know,  to learn they are no different from me but simply a different color on the outside. Inside we are all the same yet for some crazy reason treated differently...not only in the south but everywhere.

Once I left college and joined the working force as a waitress; I was introduced to a whole 'nother side of racial bias...Latinos.

Yes many of them come here illegally but if I was a mother in Mexico living in squalor with  small children who would fare no better, you bet your bippy I would try to get them to America. So what they use false social security numbers? At least their kids will get an education and not have to fear being gunned down in the streets of Mexico City. That means they are paying into a social security system they will never draw  from but have a better life. Sounds like a plan to me!

If the immigration system wasn't so screwed up, complex and expensive...don't you  think they would TRY to be legal? Instead  they opt for just giving their kid's a better life and hope they don't get caught.

You know what ? Good people and bad people are everywhere. That is a fact of life. Can we not discriminate and take into consideration circumstances, reasons and actions?

I would think after all we did to Native Americans and African Americans, we would have bigger hearts.

I still live in the greatest nation on earth, just wonder why so many are still haters?

Til next time...COTTON

Two Years And Two Months

Wow! I logged in to see I've had over 40,000 hits on my blog. Guess some body's reading it besides me.

It's been a long road for three years but a road I was obviously destined to walk. Walk it I did, stumbled but was picked up by family, friends and strangers and encouraged every step of the way.

At the age of fifty I had to apply for food stamps, unemployment and medicaid. It was the most humiliating and humbling thing I have ever done but when it comes down to taking care of my family, I would throw myself in front of a train to save them.

We had  to file for bankruptcy because we were five years away from paying off our house and the bank wouldn't modify our loan...they simply wanted our house because it would be a huge profit for THEM.

I fell into a depression that seemed to have no bottom, but scraped myself off  the floor and went to see friends that owned a restaurant. They hired me on the spot and for two years I worked eleven and twelve shifts a week, sometimes more. Tim got a job, then a better job.

Year one it was full steam ahead. Year two I began to lose steam and my mind. I have cut way back on my hours and it's like a whole new world.

Karma came around last night when I learned the manager who fired me after fourteen years at my old job had just been fired for something as frivolous as he fired ME for.

My husband keeps saying not to gloat but I can't help it.

I talked to one of my former co workers today and they said "I knew when he fired you...he had it coming, in a big way."

Karma could change the world...it has changed mine. We lost so much but were given even more. We persevered and kept on kicking.

We are so close to being back...so close to moving forward. We are lucky, we are blessed and we are determined.

As for my former manager...I will try not to gloat but simply think Karma actually does exist.

What goes around comes around...and I survived  to see it!

Til next  time...COTTON

Yep...Hot As A Pistol

I thought it was hot yesterday when I cut the front of the sudivision at one in the afternoon and weed eated from two  to three. Tim told me I was crazy for doing it but I already know I am crazy so I headed out on my trusty boy, Johnny Dear. Tim said "You're gonna die from heat stroke out there."

I thought about that for a minute or two but thought, if raising three teens hasn't killed me I doubt 102 degrees could. I loaded up a huge cup of ice water and a cup full of nothing but ice and set off on Johnny for the front of the subdivision, Mr. Weed Eater in tow.

The mowing part was easy, keep Johnny in fifth gear and never stop...I even felt a slight breeze. As I rounded the last turn, Massey and Tim drove back into the subdivision from going to the store and Massey  rolled down her window and handed me a cold bottle of water.

That got me through the weed eating part. Well that,  and Massey driving back up and bringing me two more bottles of water.

I was pooped but it was cut and now the HOA owed me sixty bucks!

Puttered back down the street on Johnny to my house ,  wiped the clippings off my legs with a rag in the garage and lay under the ceiling fan in the living room for  thirty minutes. Jumped in the shower,  poured myself into my work uniform and headed off to work!

Woke up this morning for my double shift and glanced at  the clock. Okay, I could take a shower and get up then... or rationalize  I had just showered quite laboriously less than twenty hours earlier and sleep ten more minutes.

Ten extra minutes of sleep won.

Heck...so what? I put on an extra dosing of deodorant  and gave myself a "Ho Bath." Didn't even wash my hair, but then again I only washed it once week growing up as a kid.

Got off around 3:30. Had to be back at work by  5:30. I had a coupon for a $9.99 hair cut and drove by  to see if they were busy. Guess the heat had everyone scared and there was no wait. Got "My hurr did" and went home, with  an hour and a half to spare.

The new pup is so tiny that he can slip out of every broken board in our privacy fence. My older two pups have such fat heads they couldn't make it out of the back yard even if they knew how to use a chain saw.

I called Massey  fom  the hair place and told her to borrow wire clippers and a staple gun from my neighbor, Mr. "Slow" Lee.  Heck I cut their  yards for them, that's the least they can do is supply me with a weapon. He didn't mind  at all, they are both precious older peeps that I actually enjoy taking care of and although I kid about them, I hope when I am their age someone helps ME out.

Got home... quickly changed into my shorts and bathing suit top, with my "A" cups just hanging out there and got my chicken wire to staple up across the boards that were missing but Ziggy was continually slipping through. I was sweating by  the time I closed the back door to the kitchen and picked up the roll of chicken wire. Massey was thrilled by  the electric stape gun and insisted on doing the shooting. Took us at least twenty minutes and were both drenched in sweat by  the time we had Ziggy sequestered. Sweat was dripping off my face like water and I felt like I was melting.

The last time I tried to close all the gaps I looked up to see Ziggy on the other side of the fence smiling at me like "You missed a spot!"

I think we have the puppy sequestered now.

Unfortunately I didn't have time for another shower before returning to work but at least  had all my pups secured.  I put on another layer of deodorant and reminded myself to stand back from my tables. Cleaned up my makeup...what was left of it and went back to work.

Made it through my shift with no one complaing about my smell and had a pretty  easy night. Had lots of regulars who asked for me and escaped by  ten o'clock . I left and got in my little car. Put the top down and drove home as the dashboard read 89 degrees...only cooling down to 88 as I went down a hill close to my house.

I love summer and  love the heat...but when hot flashes are the only thing that cool me down, you KNOW it's HOT!

Promise I am taking a LONG bath in the morning before heading back for one last shift this week.

Yes my life is crazy...Yes "I" am crazy (if you ask my kids or husband) but you know what? I love my life, I love being able to go with the flow... ebbing or flowing.

Life is a circle. I have been around it many, many times. As long as you are in the cycle of the circle...you are doing okay.

The tide goes out...the tide comes in. Just be greatful to do it again and again. Experience the awesome waves of life...like when they uplift you and make you float.  Know that when they pull you under,  if you keep swimming and stroking...you will resurface.

"Love is all you need."

Til next  time...Cotton

Getting Better All The Time

Just got home from a long ten hour shift on my tired ole lady  feet, which are attached to my tired ole lady legs which are attached to my tired ole lady body...but I made it!

Zach had to be at work at 9:30 this morning and wanted to go in thirty minutes early, which screwed me out of an extra hour's sleep but luckily I went to bed at a reasonable time last night.

Tim gets up for work earlier than me now that he is back on the day shift. (Which means he gets to clean up the puppy's surprises for us) Sometimes it's poop, sometimes it's socks he finds to chew on and strow around the house and sometimes it's just a random shoe or flip flop  that looked really yummy. I hear Tim giving him a little pop on  the butt at least four times before I get up and by the time he leaves for work, Ziggy is in the backyard for his "Time Out."

This puppy is so stinking cute and so happy  here that our anger goes away really quickly. He has made my older two dogs so much more active...it ain't easy keeping up with a twelve week old puppy but they are giving it a good shot.

I recently started working only five days a week. I thought I couldn't afford to but realized I could no longer afford NOT to. I feel so much better it isn't even funny. I sleep better, eat better and I "Feel" better.

I have been cooking  dinner...not just "nuking" dinner at least  twice a week, sometimes three and the whole family seems to be not only happier but more appreciative of me.

I am a woman of my own making. I spoiled Tim rotten when I first met him and lived to regret it. I spoiled my kids rotten when they were little with the same results...I regret it.

It was okay when we were easily making over six figures a year and had well over ten grand in savings. Once Tim lost his job and then I lost mine and the savings were not only gone but were borrowing money from family, applying for government assistance and living off  food stamps, it was the biggest wake up call I ever had.

By the Grace of God, family, friends and even strangers we made it. It was while over two years of scratching, borrowing from  Peter to pay Paul and learning exactly how humble a person can be that I learned to take "Nothing for granted."

I have tried to pay it forward as much as I could...most probably not enough but have made a sincere effort.

It may sound pitiful to some but to me feels glorious to have not had a cut off notice hung on my front door knob in over a year from our utility companies.

 I still fight the giants like "Verizon" and "Charter" but have honed my skills and learned that when they threaten to cut us off for being late, simply say "Cut it off. I told you I would pay it on Friday."

I would get rid of cell phones but I have teens that drive MY car. I have teens that go off with friends in this disturbing society and MUST have that connection with them and them have one with me.

Charter is my internet provider and although I could wean myself from blogging and Facebook, they need it for school work. (Guess I got lucky with that!)

We are to the point I can take two days off, while still working at least seven or eight shifts and finally be a "Momma" again.

I feel my old self coming back. I have started delegating instead of  trying to do it all. I have learned that if you ask nicely...they are a lot more willing to help. I learned that I was turning into that woman I never wanted to be...a bitter bee-otch.

I blogged about this a year or two ago but like a lightning bolt it hit me last week. I went to check Massey out of school for physical therapy when she was in  tenth grade, maybe ninth. She was on medicaid and had a knee injury that required therapy once a week. I had to drive her to north Atlanta for a two hour session...not a fun day for me especially when I was squeezing in the visits between working sixty hours a week.

I went to the high school to check her out and a woman (okay I'll say it) a black woman was sitting on a bench outside the school muttering to herself...so I thought. Turns out she had a blue tooth and was chatting with a friend. She had her legs and arms crossed, deep in conversation and seemed to say to no one in particular (before I passed her and saw the blue tooth)..."Un Huh..I saw her at  the club last weekend, she was lookin' all sour."

That just struck me as so funny. Massey didn't think it was  funny but Tim and I wore it out for a year (Read post about beating a horse to death.) Tim would mention "Have you seen 'so in so' lately?" and I would say "Yeah I saw him at the club last weekend and he was looking all sour."

I am  by  NO means a bigot.  I went to a high school that was mostly black by  the time I graduated and loved every moment of it. They taught us how to rock a beat and taught me what "BUTSO" meant..."Born under the sign of." Yes I am a Leo!

My husband, who attended an upscale high school and was very (too much) privileged didn't believe me when I told him as a cheer leader at OUR school the most popular chant at  ball games was "Sardines..YEAH and Pork and Beans. I can tell by  the smell that your mother was a whale, Sardines, YEAH and pork and beans!" You know what? Our school rocked the house,  blacks and  whites all intermingled and were all friends. It was a better foundation for the future than his school was. The only difference was...their parents had more money.

My point is I have worked so much and so frantically that I have become the woman my family sees as the woman "Looking all sour."

 I want to be the Momma my kids remember when they were young and I cooked almost every night of the week. I want to be the wife Tim couldn't keep his hands off of.  I want to have my old life back with new perspective and appreciation.

I want this puppy to quit pooping on the floor.

You know what? If a puppy pooping on the floor has worked its way up to the top of my list...I have made it!

All the rest is gravy.

Just saying to all the millions and millions of people out here. Hang in there. Keep giving it your all. Give more of yourself than you can afford and it will return to you ten fold.

With God as my witness, I think I have reached the other side. Without him I would have never made it.

 I just hope HE never says "I saw Kelly at  the club last weekend and she was looking all sour."

Just when I thought my asking for help limitations  ran out.  When I thought I couldn't go on anymore...God opened another window.

He didn't give me a free pass but  gave me a pat on  the back, pumped me up and seemed to say "Well done my good and faithful servant...and quit lookin' all sour...It'll be okay."

Til next  time..."COTTON"

 

The Latest "PupDate"

 It's been a year  since we lost our precious Rosie. We offered to make a Craig's List posting for my friend at work to sell her remaining boxer pups in exchange for getting Ziggy. The day before we picked him up I almost called her back and said I had come to my senses. Three dogs again...seriously. I was worried about the two males I already had at  home. It took us a year to get them to quit fighting...and a fight between a Bull Dog and an Old English Bull Dog / Boxer mix isn't a pretty thing to witness. I have the scars to prove it.

We don't live in an extravagant house but we have an awesome back yard. It's 3/4 of an acre fenced in with woods at the back, plenty of shade and plenty of room to run. I was most worried about Charlie, the Bratty Bull Dog. He started every fight he ever had with Ham. We would separate them only to have Charlie come back for more, even though he got his butt kicked every time.

 When we went to pick up the puppy, my heart melted and my good sense went quickly away. My friend breeds dogs and we told her we didn't want to pick one since she was giving us one. She said, as Ziggy tumbled sleepily out of her van (where he had vomited on the ride) "He's the most chill one we have and I think he will do okay with your other two males."

 I was all worried about Charlie liking him. I should have worried more about Charlie raping him. Charlie couldn't sniff him enough. Ham was on the fence. I think it bothered him that Charlie was so fascinated with the pup.

 Charlie is a spectacular looking dog...and  as stupid as he is spectacular... but I love the fat goofus.

Ham has taken some time to get used to Ziggy, but Ziggy knows his limitations. He already knows the difference between a mean growl from Ham and a "It's okay" growl from Ham. I sit out back at night reading and have noticed sometimes Ham will even push a ball towards Ziggy wanting him to play.

Yep! I am a dog loving idiot.

Should I have gotten  another dog? As Massey would say "Probs not" but I did it anyway and only being a week into it am glad I did. Ziggy has re energized my other two dogs and made us all smile as well.

Zach had a tough year, but when we brought this puppy home I noticed Zach grinning from ear to ear. He comes in from work at night and actually laughs at  Ziggy's antics and goofy disposition. Zach royally "Effed" up but he also "Manned"up. He did his time and owned up to his mistake. More importantly he paid for his mistake and learned from it.

After the past few years I had,  I needed something to make me smile...and this little pup does it.  Tim loves him too... and he was the biggest objector to me getting him.

Ham has always been my baby, Charlie gravitated towards Zach since TJ moved out and now Massey has her own pup.

It's been a tough few years here but we survived. We are still battling but swinging large and wide.

This pup has turned out to  be just what we needed. A new face...happiness and a reason to smile.
After my meltdown on Father's Day at work, they have insisted on me taking at least two days off a week. I thought they wanted to get rid of me but realized they only wanted to "Keep me."

Life is good. The sunset tonight was magnificent. It was like God smiling at me with a soft orange glow.  My luck seems to have finally turned the corner. It will be still be a hard road, but I have reached the smooth pavement.

I would like to take all the credit but I can't. I have so many family members and friends that  not only helped me weather the storm but gave me shelter from the storm.

One thing I CAN say about myself for a fact (other than I am too skinny) is that I am truly blessed and loved.

I think The Beatles got it right when they said "Love is all you need." Maybe add "Get by with a little help from your friends."

I have tomorrow off...something I am not used to but will take full advantage of. Cutting grass, cooking for the family and kicking back.

I know there are millions and millions less fortunate than me. I know with all we have been through, there are people  who would kill to be in my shoes...literally.

For the first time in over two years, my job is done and I am headed to bed before Larry King comes on. (That's how long it has been)

I am a blessed woman, I am a loved woman.

Take some time to  think of the millions and millions of people that live in squalor with no water, no shoes, no roof over their heads or even a place to lay their head down.

So what gas prices are down? That's great for me. Let's all look at the BIG picture.

Help a friend when you can, help a stranger when you feel compelled to...Just help,  this world would be a better place if you do.

Pay it forward...Pay it forward...Pay it forward.

May sound crazy but a concept that has not only helped me but one I intend to live for the rest of my life.

Til next time...COTTON

Mini Blinds Are The Devil

I'm still on the road to recovery but feel so much better I forgot what feeling "only slightly crappy" was like. It's like Nirvana compared to the way I felt last Sunday!

Just got home from a double shift. We picked up our new puppy yesterday. He is fitting in here and we all love the little stinker.  He makes Zach smile, which is worth every ounce of puppy poop I will be cleaning up for the next week or so.

Picked up a huge box of hand me downs from a high school friend for Massey. It was like shopping at Old Navy and American Eagle for free and Massey was thrilled! I even got a few things too. (Thanks Vicki)

I am worried about the heat outside. I usually have my cousin's hubby come by and shoot up my A/C unit with freon once a year but when he called to offer I was tapped out and hated to bounce a check  to a relative. Unless it's my Siblings.. then THEY are only to blame,  for forgetting who their sister is and taking my check :)

The A/C has been working fine thus far,  but as a avid Weather Channel freak I know the temp is sky rocketing at the end of this week. My only week spot is my kitchen and  not totally my fault. The idiots that built our house put ONE a/c vent in a kitchen that faces east and has full sunlight until at least four in the afternoon. My kitchen has two windows and a glass back door. I have blinds on one window and used to have a curtain over the back glass door until one of the dogs ate it. I bought a set for the back door and a set for the window over the sink yesterday, each costing less than four dollars and brought them home.

It took me almost two hours to hang two sets of blinds. The back door wasn't so difficult after I used a nail and hammer to punch through the metal door to make starter holes for the screws. Let me back up.

First I had to go over to my next door husband's garage and borrow a Phillips head screwdriver. My tools seem to walk off mysteriously...that happens when you have teens who have friends who fix THEIR cars in YOUR driveway and garage. At least they get them fixed and moved. I've had some sit here for a week. If it only costs me a screwdriver or wrench..."Take it!"

Moved on to the next blind, above my kitchen sink. People who install mini blinds above kitchen sinks for a living must be millionaires. I sweated, I cursed. I tried a step stool and finally just stood with one foot in each sink trying to get the blind brackets screwed in with my (next door husband's) manual screwdriver. Once again starting with nail hole starter guide and after several attempts,  got the blind up. It wasn't perfect but it was close enough. My window faces directly east and once the sun comes up the kitchen stays hot all day. When I turn the oven on it becomes a sauna...thanks to the geniuses who built my house and decided a kitchen facing east only needed one A/C vent. Guess they thought I wouldn't cook much during the summer months.

The next morning the kitchen was so much cooler it wasn't even funny. Why I didn't do  this years ago remains a mystery, just like the missing pliers screwdrivers and wrenches but at least it is done now.

I only worked a day shift on Thursday and came home. I did some weed eating and went to the Grocery de Amigos aka "Food Depot."  Thanks to one of my blog readers I have discovered a terrific grocery store that makes Kroger seem like the Nordstrom of food. Great prices, no frills but clean and fully stocked.

I sat out back for over a hour reading before cooking. I simply read and watched the dogs get to know each other out in the shadows finally casting some cool on the back yard lawn.

Ziggy is tiny compared to my other two hounds but stands his ground and not only wormed his way into OUR hearts but albeit begrudgingly, theirs.

People think I'm crazy to have three dogs.  I have always been crazy.  I had three dogs before my precious Rosie died.  Now I'm just back up to par.

He poops or pees in the house, gets his nose rubbed in it before we clean it up and is shoved out the back door for a time out. I've been down this road before with pups and know the drill. It's not like we live in  the Ritz anyway...it's more like we live in the "Rizzle Fo Shizzle." This could be loosely translated as "Our house, but at least it's a real place to live and love."

I have downgraded my work load.  For over two years I have worked eleven, twelve sometimes thirteen shifts a week. Yes it helped and I am grateful I had the opportunity to do it,  but I was wearing myself down and felt like I was losing what little sanity I had left. I worked seven shifts this week, more than most people I work with do but it felt like a paid vacation. So I am a bit behind on a couple of bills. I'll make it up next week. At least we are to the point where I can do that.

It hasn't been JUST me. It's been my husband helping out with laundry, my kids finally learning how to unload a dishwasher when it's full and reloading it. It's been the kids telling me they love me more often. It's been having more time for myself. I plucked my eye brows yesterday and can't even remember the last time I had time to do that. (Let's don't even mention shaving legs... Massey says I am just gross in that department)

It's been taking a step back. Do I kill myself to make ends meet or simply do what I can to stay healthy enough to keep on keeping on?

I am in a good place. We aren't back to normal (if I ever was) but  are to the point I can feel justified working a bit less and feeling better, mentally physically and emotionally.

A guy I went to high school with, who I haven't seen in over three decades saw a post on FB I made about not having health insurance and wrote this back to me about our three year journey back from the edge.


"As far as loosing jobs goes, just downsize and start from there. Maybe some of the people complaining SHOULD have lost that "roof over their head" and moved somewhere that would allow them to not only afford mortgage but also AFFORD health insurance. If you are having financial problems then you are living OUTSIDE of you means.'

In the words of my almost seventeen year old daughter..."WTH?"

Social media is great...it can also be abused. I never rant about my faith...I talk about it to God. I never rant about politics, I use my rant in the polling booth on election day...where it TRULY counts.

 I have said it before...if every single person voted instead of just bitching , the country would be in better shape. Voices would not only be heard but make the difference.

People who haven't seen or experienced what my family has been through certainly don't have the right to judge me.

It was the click of a mouse...I usually don't de friend people, but he de friend ed me first by  judging  without knowing the facts.


 As a fifty year old woman with three kids... who has worked since she was fourteen...I had to walk into the unemployment office and file for unemployment Insurance. I had to put my younger two kids on Medicaid. I had to go to the DHR in our county and file for food stamps. I cried like a baby at each office and the humiliation was totally overwhelming but I did it.

We are by NO stretch of the imagination "Living beyond our means" but graciously surviving with the help of many and the Big Guy upstairs. We are making strides and thanks to the system I have paid into since 1974 we have almost made it.

It will take at least five years to get back to where we were, but at least we are here. At least my kids are healthy and my poor husband hasn't choked  me in my sleep. (yet)

People who are haters get on my nerves.

I never voted for Bush.   (Did vote for Huckaby) But if a country votes and a leader is elected...it is sad to see people not support THEIR president. When Bush was in office I wasn't a fan but he was MY president, and I not only supported him but prayed for and respected him as our leader.

I don't agree with  all the politics, rebpub and demo. I think the country is more in a state of moral, racial, and a  heartless financial dilemma that cares more about lining their pockets than they do about the people who have earned their due and deserve more.
Who can take the country back ?

Your vote can.

Til next time...hate me or love me...COTTON

You Gotta Have Thick Skin When You Are A Server

I have been a server so long that this is actually the way we used to send checks to the kitchen. Write it down and walk over and hang it up with a clothes pin on a wire they had strung.

Now everything is computerized and when a computer goes down  we have to use our brains...that's when the trouble starts.

I've worked too much this week and I know it, but when you are in my line of work every shift is a paycheck.  We are so close I can smell it... It smells like being in the black!

I fell asleep on the sofa in the living room Wednesday night. I keep the ceiling fan on high so it helps keep the house cooler. Woke up the next morning freezing and both my ears ached. My throat hurt and my nose was stopped up . NOT GOOD...

I waited for it to go away instead of simply taking some medicine. By Friday I was miserable. The problem was I was scheduled to work Friday day and night, Saturday day and night and Sunday day and night...added bonus was Sunday was Father's Day or as we like to call it in  the restaurant world "A Mother of a Father's Day."

I started pumping in the meds on Friday during my break between lunch and dinner and felt somewhat better. It doesn't help that I have terrible eating habits unless  you consider coffee a food group. Saturday I was on the fence but feeling a bit better, I found some 800 MG Ibuprofen Zach had left over from when he was sick. They ran out today...and so did I.

I got to work five minutes late today...it wasn't the day to do that. We were already filling up quickly and I got my head bit off when I walked in by  a manager. I knew better than to be late, but almost never am.

Then a computer crashed and we were all fighting to ring our orders in on the two left running.

Here's my beef...

I work like a demon from the time I get there til  the time I clock out and I clock in A LOT! I am fifty two years old and weigh 99 pounds. All the working is of my own choosing and I totally realize that but  keep a good attitude and try to be nice to everyone. I am nice to the dishwashers, the prep team, the hosts out front and even the surly cooks...on top of being nice to customers who sometimes aren't.

I'm not sick a lot, but today I felt terrible. When things went whack with the computer and the kitchen lost one of my checks it got dicey. One of the cooks was yelling at me, Barb was yelling at me because she was trying to make people happy up front waiting to be seated and I was so behind it wasn't funny.

I snapped. And then the worst thing possible happened...The tears started pouring.

I am usually tough skinned (you have to be in my line of work.) I didn't feel good, I'd been working too much and it suddenly BECAME too much. The cooks were screaming at me, the managers were screaming at me and my customers were screaming at me.

Calgon never showed up to "Take me away."

MY point is that YOU don't have to be ugly to get your point across. I get it. I treat every person I work with as an equal. I treat every one the way I want to be treated. It's called the Golden Rule but the memo got lost today. I had a thirty minute breakdown and had absolutely no mascara left, and a snotty nose to boot.

Had I not been sick I could have handled it perfectly and probably even with a joke or two. Feeling like crap though...they better be glad I don't carry a gun.

I think it shocked and  surprised all of them. I am usually the one that can blow off  or defuse any situation and here I am sniveling like a baby.

"I wanted my mommy."

When I got cut from the floor for my break, the owner said "Let me make you some Chicken noodle soup." I told him I just wanted to go home and lay down for a hour and he said "Just take it home with you."

I got home and lapped the soup up, crawled in bed in with my work clothes on and assumed  the position of Lily Munster sleeping...not mussing my hair or what little make up I had left on.

I got back to work and they all seemed to be walking on eggshells around me. I tend to have my seldom breakdowns at home and  think I terrified them all. They let me have an extra hour off, I was due back at five but they let me come back at six.

Six is good...we close at 8:30 on Sunday. The soup was great (everything the owner cooks is) and I felt better having a hour on my back with my girl beside me and two pups wagging those stumps they call tails every time I say their name.

Ya know...sometimes you just gotta flip out, sometimes you just gotta say..."We're all in the same boat and it's not just YOU with an oar... Let's row together."

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my job. I absolutely love the people I work for. When I'm feeling great I can do it shift after shift after shift.

But when I already feel like crap, don't throw more in my face.

All's well that ends well...and the night ended well.

I usually always work a double shift on Monday but when the owner posted the schedule for the upcoming week before I left...he had me scheduled off for Monday and Tuesday. He said "Go home and get well."

Sleeping til I wake up. Taking a day for myself . Then starting all over again.

Til next time...COTTON

Happy Father's Day

Where do you start when you had the greatest father on the face of the planet? This is a photo of my "Diddy" when he was well into his seventies. I don't look THIS good and I am only fifty two.

 The above is a photo of him installing a dishwasher in our old house on Bayard Street.. He looks happy, doesn't he? (NOT) But he did it anyway...he always did.

 The next is a photo of Diddy sitting on the beach. A year or two earlier he was sitting by my Momma...now he sat alone.

 As grand kids started popping out  unfortunately (or maybe FORTUNATELY) my Momma wasn't around to spoil them rotten. Our kids got "Grandpa"  and by  that point in his life he was a tough nut to crack and reminded me of the tough man I remember as a child.

You did something REALLY  wrong in our house and my Momma would say "You just wait til your Diddy gets home."

Wait we would... then once he got home from his exhausting job and talked with Momma we  would be led to the gallows of the "Green Bathroom."  Nothing good ever happened in there. I think the enema bag hanging on the towel  closet door with that wicked looking tube pretty much made all three of us kids HATE the "Green Bathroom."

I was fortunate and had wonderful parents ... if you did something really wrong, my Momma would squeal on you first to Diddy, and once he got home would sit on the toilet with the lid down, make you pull down your pants and lay across his lap. He would always start with "This hurts me more than it hurts you."  I doubted that fact til I had three kids.

He didn't beat us, but it never felt good. Once done though...you learned your lesson!

The above photo is in fact my favorite. Can you see the love between them?  He had just walked in from work. The photo was taken in our kitchen by  my sister with her "Swinger Polaroid." If you click on it you can even see the tooth pick sticking out of his mouth...but can't you also see how much my Momma loved my Diddy?

The trivets on the wall behind them hang on my own kitchen wall today. The memories in that kitchen are marvelous. I remember the Cape Cod curtains on the door behind Diddy. I remember being in that kitchen like it was yesterday.

Had I not grown up with the two most amazing parents in the world, I think I probably would have been a failure.

When I felt my life was in the toilet a few years back I would look at this photo and think "This is Tim and me."

We signed up for having a family and nobody said it would be easy.

The goal is to raise kids who make you proud. If they falter along the way, that's okay as long as they learn from their mistakes.

I was a slow learner ...but they loved me all the while.

I aspire to be the parents I had. If I do just that...I will be happy and so will my kids.

Oh , for the days of black and white photos, rotary dial phones and butt whoppings in the bathroom!

 I had two great parents even if they were snatched from my life too soon... to fail would be a personal defeat .

My parents taught me better than that!

Happy Father's Day, Diddy !!

Hangin' On

"I'll tell them how I survive it. I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could all be taken away. That's when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I've seen someone do. It's like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious...but there are much worse games to play."

This is the last line of  "Mocking Jay." Haven't enjoyed a series of books this much since I read about my new kick a** friend, Lisbeth in "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" series.

I love me an underdog!  Maybe because I felt like one for almost three years but have survived and lived to tell my story.

My life is actually pretty stinkin' great now. We are still in financial recovery but compared to three years ago, are living the 'High Life."

I still have bad days but of my own choosing. I work too much and I know this but simply can't help it. When you begin to advance it is hard to stop. (At least for me)

We've had a few setbacks...well maybe more than a few but nothing working hard doesn't help alleviate.

In my opinion,  we are living the American Dream. Work hard, live by The Golden Rule and above all else have faith in God and yourself.

For the very first time every person in our house and even the one that faltered but flew after a tough love shooing out of the nest is working and it feels good...to me AND them.

It hasn't been easy but  has made an impression on me that will remain forever.

I work for  kooks, but then again I AM one. They have helped me out time and time again and all they have asked is that I work hard for them.

When Zach had his "Unfortunate Incarceration"  co workers gave him rides back to the "Pokey" so I wouldn't have to go back and pick him up after working ten and twelve hour shifts.

Massey had plenty of love thrown her way too.

I just seem to be loved and it is a wonderful feeling.

Yesterday  I took my lil' car in for tires after seeing steel belts showing on the back two. I called my  BFF at  the tire place and warned him I was coming. Massey and I got there and at least six other people were waiting. I walked in and the owner said "Well hello, Mrs. Cotton." He took my keys  and immediately told one of his guys to take my car and put on two new tires. Massey and I went out front to sit in the sunshine and read our books. Not twenty minutes later they rolled my car out of the bay and we were good to go...all six people still sitting reading newspapers and magazines. I didn't feel guilty until he said "That will be $321.00...how much are you going  pay?"

I told him I had half but would be back the next  day with more and have him paid off by  Friday.

He shook his head, smiled and handed me my receipt. When we left, Massey made the comment "Do you  think those other people who came in earlier and paying in full were ticked when we left first and only paid half?"

I told her "Maybe he told them we were relatives."

I went by  today after my lunch shift,  gave him another chunk of money and told him what Massey said. He smiled again (he is the silent type) and quietly said "I told them we  were cousins."

It's things like that. It's things like my brother in law changing my oil to  save me thirty bucks. It's things like co workers taking Zach home from work so I don't have to go back after working twelve hours to pick him up. It's my sister loaning me her car. It's my brother spoiling Massey like she deserves but that I can't afford right now.

 It's everything...it's people taking time out of their life just to help me.

It is humbling but a fantastic feeling. It makes me get up day after day after day and work shift after shift after shift.

If all these people do this for me...I'm not an underdog anymore. I am one of the luckiest people on this planet!

Have tomorrow off...cutting Mr. Slow Lee's grass next door and helping out the owners of the restaurant at a wine event...payment: Free Chicken Cacciatore!

Dang it feels good to be worn out but know that life IS getting better...day by day, friend by friend, co worker by co worker, relative by relative and blessing by blessing!

Til next time...Contented COTTON

Another Day At The Fun House

Started a really hard work week today. I am only scheduled five days but all five are the dreaded double shift. At least I still have two days off to keep what little sanity I have left.

Went in to open the store and while setting up, the young girl (who I love dearly)  was mopping the front lobby and mentioned  a car was on fire in the parking lot! We went to the front door and sure enough...

I called 911 from my cell and they asked if everyone was out of the car? I said yes, the two people were standing by  the car. They  told me tell them to move away from the vehicle and help would be there shortly. I walked outside where a young woman, VERY preggers and a young guy stood looking into the hood of the car. I told them the fire dept. was on the way and to maybe move away in case of an explosion. An older gentleman standing with his wife said the same thing and after finally figuring out fanning his wife beater at  the engine just seemed to increase the flames they stepped back. I told them I was sorry but a car can always be replaced. (been there done that)

They weren't overly friendly and not to seem judgemental, the young man looked pretty sketchy to say the least. He had on baggy pants that were so low I could have given him a suppository easily and he had a "loosey" tucked behind his ear. Neither of them thanked me for calling the fire dept. but looked around nervously. The fire truck rolled in less than two minutes later followed by  three police cars. A car pulled in on the other side of all the commotion and two women got out. The young couple walked towards them, looking back over their shoulder at the flaming vehicle and all got back in the car and simply drove away...leaving the now fully engulfed car.

What the heck?

I walked out front and told one of the officers that the people who had been driving the car just left in another car with two women. They asked if I had a tag number but they had backed out and I had no way to see. I gave a description of the car and one of the officers said so far the tag on the burning car hadn't shown up as a stolen vehicle but maybe one of them had a warrant out for their arrest.

The fire was out and they were cleaning up the mess when another car pulled in and two older women got out accompanied by  the preggers chick. Sketchy dude was conspicuously absent.

There was a lot of hand motion and arm waving by the cops as they all talked.

Exciting start to a long day!

The rest of the lunch shift was uneventful. It rained and rained and rained. Peeps in Georgia are terrified by  ANY inclement weather and it made for a slow lunch shift.

Went back for my dinner shift and was thrilled to see my new friend and server "Timmy Tune" was working.  That made my night. Even if it was slow again I could pick on him and entertain myself.

It wasn't slow and I scrambled for a while just to keep up. Once it slowed down I began to relax and the "Fun" started!

While working the slow lunch shift I  told the owner's son about my game "Planting the seed." The owner's son is the sous chef and I have known him longer than I have his parents (my bosses.) Poor Tim...

Just when it started getting busy, Leon (the owner's son) started slowly and aimlessly singing from behind the cook line "All by myself...don't wanna be, All by myself."

I started laughing, poor Tim just looked and me and said I was a bitch. He smiled though as he walked out of the kitchen.

Let me also say  that after our second night of torturing him with my "plant the seed" game another co worker got him to sing "YMCA" by The Village People. I told her if she could get him to make the letters with his arms she would get fifty bonus points!

Since he was on to my scheming I decided on another line of torture...throw him under the "Barb" bus. (a horrible place to be)

Barb was going to retire last month but it has been waylaid. She has worked like mad for over forty years and is close to the end of her rope, mentally and emotionally drained from decades of seventy hour work weeks. She is a good woman but crazy as all get out. Her temper can flare up quicker than the car did out front of the store this morning.

She has a jar of Kraft mayonnaise she keeps in the small cooler for her own personal use. She uses more mayo than any person I have ever known.  When  servers need mayo they are supposed to go to the back walk in cooler and get it out of the gallon jug. She saw Tim getting some out for a guest and in usual "Barb" fashion chewed him out for using her own personal mayo and dogged him out for the top not being screwed back on correctly.

I was laughing so hard (you HAVE to laugh at Barb or you will go as nuts as her AND her husband) and said to Barb "I see Tim eating your  Kraft mayo all the time."

Tim apologized at least twice and left the kitchen. I walked out front and told Barb "Sometimes when he works a double shift, he takes your jar of Kraft with him on his break."

Not two minutes later... Tim came back and said "Barb just  accused me of taking her mayo with me on my breaks."

I looked out front from our service alley and Barb was sitting on her perch by the bar chuckling  to herself.

I work in a freaking nut house...but  love it and tend to call it the "Fun House."

Yes,  the owners are (as Massey calls them) "Cray-Cray" and can make you madder than a hornet but if you work really hard for them the entire time you are clocked in and always think of the restaurant's best interest...they are the most sincere and honest crazy people I have ever had the good fortune of not only meeting but lucky enough to work for.

Tim (my husaband Tim) noticed yesterday that both the rear tires on my car are showing steel belts and I gulped, thinking I just took this car to Atlanta and back a couple of days ago going eighty both ways and down to Warm Springs and back last Sunday.

Called my buddy  at B&L Tire today while out back at lunch calling home to check on Massey and told him I needed two new tires. He said to come in tomorrow and told him I hope I was gonna make $300 at work tonight. He said he hoped so too.

I made pretty good money  tonight but not near enough to pay for my tires. When  home on my break I packed up some of the potato salad I made to take back to Barb, who LOVES my potato salad. (thank you  momma for teaching me how to make it)

Before I clocked out I pointed out the potato salad in the cooler to Barb and she thanked me for it. I told her it came with a price and asked her if she could float me a loan  to help with my tires?

With  another shake of her head, a quizzical look and a sideways glance; she fronted me the money to get my tires tomorrow.

I work in a Nut House...but it is a Fun House.

Sometimes they kill me, but  have always come to my rescue in our time of need.

Getting two new tires tomorrow, don't have the full amount but for some crazy reason my buddy at the tire shop loves me too and will be fine with me having half the amount due. I am working non stop the rest of the week and can have him paid off in a couple of days.

Life is strange. You think you are losing it, all is lost and your life is over. Then people who love and have faith in you come to your rescue.

Next week Massey and I are taking Barb on a road trip to Warm Springs (a BEAUTIFUL place) with  the top down on the car and a full jar of Kraft mayo in the cooler.

When you think you are lost...look for a friend. When your life sucks, keep on keeping on. When you  think it will never get better, pray.

If YOU don't try, why should anyone else?

Til next  time... Cruising again soon COTTON