Simply Wonderful...

Came home from work, tired. Day number twelve in a row with no day off  in the near future. Didn't make squat at work but found the Internet out. Talked to the cable company for a while and finally got back online. I never log onto Chat on facebook but since TJ moved  to the "Land down under"  have discovered when I get home late from work, it is mid morning for him and we had a nice long chat. It was awesome. It was inspiring and just what I needed. It was kinda like when Massey and I comment on each others posts on facebook when she is fifteen  feet behind me in her bedroom.

He is doing great...I knew he would but a mom still needs to be reassured.

  So I have three kids. One didn't give me stretch marks, I married his dad when he was two. The other two didn't give me stretch marks either but lots of gray hair and lots of wrinkles.

TJ  was different. He was always a good boy. He bobbled a bit in his senior year of high  school but rebounded.

He left home on fire for college, met a girl who sidelined him and came back home with a dog. He left home again (leaving the dog) thinking making a little money would be better than college. I told him "If you  think you are leaving college to make a little money  for a while...that is all you will do...make a little money."

It was rough and tumble for a couple of years. Once Tim and I hit the skids (how embarrassing is that  that when you are in your late forties) we had to shove him out of the nest that was going into foreclosure.

He landed on his feet and bounded back beyond belief.

He got a good job , saved his money and took a leap of faith. I am his step mom...which is a hard pill to swallow except for  the fact his birth mom is an excellent mother and I am almost jealous of her stretch marks.

I got home tonight, tired and worn out. I saw TJ's name pop up on chat on facebook and logged in. I usually never chat but when you have a kid halfway around the world, it is a good thing to even see their name pop up.

We had a great chat. It was one hour that made the past two weeks of working straight seem like nothing. To talk with him, even on  social networking meant a lot to me. He said he is doing well and just like a momma I typed back "I am proud of you."

So he has two mommas. I consider that a fact he is one lucky young man.

We all love him and all have the same wish.

Go TJ! Go gettum. GO see, explore and conquer the world. Wish I had been as smart when I was  his age.

Til next  time (tomorrow night)  COTTON

The Hidden Tears

My oldest son TJ (Tim junior) left this morning on his life adventure. He's decided to move to Australia. I'm behind his decision one hundred percent. Wish I had done something that like when I was in my twenties.

This pic was after Tim and I had been together for a year and right before we married. TJ has always been a sweet  boy and although I didn't give birth to him he will always be my first born.

We were just like any other family. The kids fought like crazy and all seemed to despise each other growing up.

Then they grew up.

Massey is absolutely crazy about her oldest brother now,  and coming around about her younger brother.

Here's the thing.

When you have sibs,  you  all fight like crazy when you are young... you blame every thing  on each other and never expect them to come to your rescue, and that's a good thing...because  they won't.

The older you get, the smarter you get.

My own momma taught me that before she died when I was seventeen.

So here are all three of my kids together today. TJ has decided to simply take a leap of faith and move to Australia.

The best part about him moving (if there is one)  is that it has emotionally moved  not only Massey (who adores him) but  more importantly emotionally moved his younger brother, Zach.

Over the past two months Zach and TJ  have  in the words of the Beatles, " Come Together, Right Now."  They mended fences and dug in deep as brothers.

In true Cotton fashion we were running behind this morning to meet TJ for his send off breakfast  by  the Atlanta airport.

We met TJ for breakfast with his Mother and his other sister. It was a Brady Bunch send off!!

I haven't seen Tim's ex wife since TJ played Tee ball when he was five.

We all came together today for a common goal. We all came together to show TJ we loved him.

Massey brought her camera and we took lot's of photos.

This is a pic of TJ and his mother, his sister and his niece.

Massey commented yesterday she thought it would be awkward because she has never met TJ's  mom or sister.

Zach clarified it for us all  this morning on the way to the  breakfast sendoff.

"We all love TJ and that's all  that matters."

We are a blended family...but we are a family.

I hugged TJ one last time and my eyes filled with tears. I turned away so he couldn't see it but my heart swelled, my eyes brimmed over and everything wrong he had ever done fell to the way side.

The only thing that made this alright was  he had both his moms and all his sibs. Family is everything in my book and TJ had it all!

Massey gives him two thumbs up  and I am just thankful to call him my son. I am just as thankful that DeAnne has allowed me to be a part of his life.

Waiting to hear great things from you TJ!!

WE ALL LOVE YOU...especially this old COTTON

Happy Birthday Zachary !!

Today is Zachary's twentieth birthday. The above photo is one of my all  time favorites...my boy's always been a dreamer.

The photo below melts my heart every time I see it. Zach and Grandpa making each other smile!

Although none of my kids ever got to meet my Momma, at least they all got to know their Grampa.

They have all had the good fortune to know and love their Uncle Chris...just look how thrilled my brother looks spending some quiet time with Zachary!


This next photo moves on to Zach's next phase..."Cousin Itt." This was an early pic...he let his hair grow for two more years much  to my delight (not) but my pediatrician told me a wise saying around this time:  "Choose your battles wisely when raising teens. A hair cut isn't one of them."

He has cleaned up pretty well...literally , mentally and physically.



Zach has been  my easiest AND hardest child to raise. He was smarter than me by the time he was in second grade and ended up being my Genius child (that doesn't quite know how to use it.)

When he was about nine and we were doing pretty well financially and had terrific insurance;  I decided to switch him to a male pediatrician. I remember our first visit like it was last week. We were in  the little room waiting for the doctor and there was a really old map of the United States on  the wall. It was just sectioned into territories...not states. The doctor had just come into the room and was washing his hands when trying to make small talk to make Zach feel more comfortable,  I said  "Look at  this map...this small section is only marked "Indian Territory." Zach glanced over his shoulder at  the map and calmly said "That's where they shoved all the Indians."  Dr. Roberts first words to me were something along the lines of "He's pretty smart."

When Zach turned ten our Muslim neighbors moved in next door. Getting to know them was a wonderful experience and quickly put an end to my short but ignorant bias of Muslims after 911.  The father worked for the FAA. They were from Sudan originally. They had four kids and the oldest was eight...he obviously knew how to get a birka (spelled it wrong but you get the point) off quickly! He was out washing his car one day. Zach sat out there talking to him for about thirty minutes then came back inside  to play video games. I went out with  a bag of trash and Karim was still in his driveway and we chatted. He  remarked  "Zach is one of the smartest kids I ever met. He just told me more about the Air Bus than even I knew." I laughed and told Karim "He also knows how to build a nuclear bomb but refuses  to get a hair cut."

Zach can tell you more about history, economics, geography, religion and politics than anybody  I ever met. We think  there may have been a baby swap at the hospital but after twenty  years, we're keeping him.

He has always been a rebel. (Wonder where he got THAT?)

I made  the mistake of telling him he was smart when he was young...he always hated hearing it and tried to prove me wrong as a teen. He struggled and got side tracked. He made some mistakes but paid for them like a man.

If  this kid put his mind to it, he could change  the world. If this kid put forth his God given talent he could go so  far it's ridiculous.

I remember when he had his Cousin Itt look and refused to cut his hair, a young girl at the pool one summer day said "You'd be cute if you had your hair cut."

The next  day he asked me to take him for a hair cut. I silently thanked The Lord and loaded him up in the car. I even stayed in the car and simply gave him money to get it cut. Thirty minutes later he walked out with liberty spikes that were about ten inches long. smh...

He kept it for a while, getting up at six AM to put the Elmer's glue in his spikes while his younger sister held the blow dryer.

That phase passed and somehow he passed his classes at school. My husband said to me one morning "If we can just get him out of high school the kid will be the next  Bill Gates."

He got out of high school with  a resounding silent ovation from the faculty but at least I got to see him walk across  that stage and handed a diploma. I am proud of all three of my kids. They all caused me heart ache along the way but have given me thousands upon thousands of smiles and priceless memories on the journey.

Today is Zachary Tyler Cotton's 20th birthday!

Zach is WAY too much like me. Sometimes I think that's a good thing and sometimes I think it's a bad thing.

He is currently slaving away in the kitchen of the restaurant where I work...not an easy place to be. (I work for "Cray- Crays" as Massey  calls them)

He has hung in there, been berated for mistakes and talked to at times horribly, which makes my heart hurt for him. It's tough working in a kitchen...especially when it is family owned and they actually GIVE a crap about  their restaurant.

I love him twenty four seven. He lets me in return rub his cute little shaved head every once in a while.

He has bumbled and fumbled but he is my boy and no matter what I will be there for him.

That's what Momma's do!

Til next time...COTTON

Thirty Days in The Hole

Roll my tape
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Thirty days...
Anyone doin' that one?
I'm doin' that one
30 days in the hole
30 days in the hole
30 days in the hole
all right all right all right all right, yeah.


Humble Pie sang it but my boy has almost done it. When I picked him up for work today I said "You only have to walk out of that gate two more times."

Yes Zach screwed up...at least he did it when he was eighteen, stupid and single. I have seen him grow up in his thirty days in the hole. He answers the guards with respect..."Yes sir." When they get on to him for having his shirt untucked he replies "I'm sorry sir." When they tell him to have a good day at work he says "Thank you sir."

He is just so glad to see my car sitting outside waiting for him. Every night when I take him back his last words to me are "I love you Mom."

He's a tough nut...we are so much alike that it is scary and often the reason for our arguments. I wish I  was as smart as him and still wonder where he gets it? On top of his thirty days in the hole he has been thrown into a kitchen full of chefs with not only massive experience but degrees in culinary art. Lucky for him the owner loves me...and also loves to point out every stupid thing Zach does.

I'm cleaning his room tomorrow top to bottom...I quit cleaning my kid's room when they hit middle school but want him to know how happy I am to have him back home. I thought a "Welcome Home From Prison " sign across the privacy fence may make the neighbors who already hate us nervous so I chose cleaning his room instead.

I am just glad his time is almost done. I am glad that he was man enough to do it. I am glad that our dysfunctional little family will all be together again. Let em' argue, I don't care...it will be music to my ears.

God took care of him...He always takes care of His own. Another chapter in my odd life is over. What worries me is that I still have a sixteen year old daughter to raise!

What a great Mother's Day present.

Till next time...COTTON