The Eagle Has Landed

TJ spread his wings like an eagle and has finally landed safely in the "Land Down Under." He flew to LA first and spent a few days with friends. He landed tonight in Sydney, after nineteen hours in  the air.

Here's the most amazing thing about this trip.When your kid travels to  the other side of the planet everyone who loves and cares about him suddenly become BFFL's.

When I met Tim, TJ had just turned two. When we married he was four. I've never called or considered TJ a step son,  that just sounds "Cinderella Mean" to me. I consider  him the son who didn't give me stretch marks.

I've really had no reason to talk with his mother over the years. We met and spoke at TJ's tee ball games when he was little but other than that, he was either at our house or her house so there was no reason to worry or really converse.

Moving to the other side of the world is a whole different deal.

When I met Tim,  I was pretty  jealous of his ex. She was much more beautiful than I KNEW I would ever be and besides that..."She was his ex!" Weren't new wives supposed to hate ex wives? Well they did in the late eighties! I guess it was all  that hair spray and spandex confusing us with all the fumes and pants that were way too tight.

After TJ moved in with us I've probably spoken with her MAYBE twice.
I've probably spoken ten words to her in the last  ten years, but that was okay. I knew when TJ was with her he was fine and she knew when TJ was with us he was fine.

Now he is on the other side of the world  and suddenly we  ALL need to communicate.

His mom remarried and she and her husband own horses. We have dogs. Guess who's house got the better end of THAT deal?

We are both over two decades older. We are both over two decades wiser. We both love TJ  and's the thing which brought us full circle.

I am excited beyond belief for TJ and think this is an awesome thing he is doing.
I am almost as excited his blended family,  all of us,  have rallied behind him putting petty  differences and history to  the way side.

It's TJ  who matters and we all have his back!

His mom sent me a copy of the chat she had with him when he had free WiFi after he landed.

It's nice to all get along. It's nice to all have a common goal. The Beatles were right..."Love is all you need."  Til next time...COTTON
 

Life Is Crazy...I LIKE Crazy!

I went into work today at  three PM and got my butt kicked from the time I went in til  the time I left at ten. I had to stop for gas on the way home and was back in my hacienda by ten thirty. Like every other stupid social media addicted person I checked in on Facebook.

I had the nicest note from TJ's mom waiting for me. She somehow read the blog I wrote about TJ leaving and sent me a sweet and heartwarming note.

Here's the thing. When you have blended families, that's what they should do...blend.

I've always known I wasn't TJ's birth mother but have always thought as him as my son. Once he got older he was always conflicted on holidays...should he be THERE or HERE? We both  wanted him which speaks volumes about what a great a kid he is!

 There are some families who have kids they hope WON'T show up at a family get together!

Not true in this blended family.

We left the send off breakfast leaving TJ's mom to take him to the airport.  It's a good thing because I bawled like a baby in the restaurant when TJ wasn't looking. I cried silently in the front seat of the car the entire ride home.

Here's the thing. She is TJ's Mother. I am TJ's momma. So the boy got lucky and got a two-fer! I've never thought of him as a step son but also never tried to replace his Mother.

It's worked out well, we haven't crossed paths since TJ moved in with us when he left middle school. I know that she was mortified when TJ wanted to come live with us and  was a hard pill to swallow, but she bit the bullet  and let him live with his Dad.

When  we had his send off breakfast it was the first  time Massey and Zach had ever spent any time with TJ's Mom or sister.

Sounding crazy again but it went GREAT!

When you have kids, you love and want the best for them. That's what TJ has gotten. The best of both worlds.

She might not like me so much after I post this but she left me the most sincere and heartfelt message which I got when I came home from a long and tiring shift. It made my day.

I saw the blog post, and yes we all love him dearly ... I would like to tell you THANK YOU for being a great mom for him. I remember TJ coming home after a weekend and saying Mom I don't know what to call her, I said well do you love her, he said yes, I asked what do you want to call her, he said I don't know, (obviously the others called you mom and it confused him) I told him then that if he felt you were like a mom then you should be called mom. He asked me if I would be upset, I told him NO if you feel that way then I am happy that she is in your life. When he came to me and wanted to go live with his dad it absolutely broke my heart, but i also had to remember he was part Tim. . I think I gave TJ his family, both sides. It was hard as hell but he deserved to know both sides, not just mine because i was his mom.


Thank you DeAnn...for sharing a great kid with me!

Til next time...COTTON

The Hidden Tears

My oldest son TJ (Tim junior) left this morning on his life adventure. He's decided to move to Australia. I'm behind his decision one hundred percent. Wish I had done something that like when I was in my twenties.

This pic was after Tim and I had been together for a year and right before we married. TJ has always been a sweet  boy and although I didn't give birth to him he will always be my first born.

We were just like any other family. The kids fought like crazy and all seemed to despise each other growing up.

Then they grew up.

Massey is absolutely crazy about her oldest brother now,  and coming around about her younger brother.

Here's the thing.

When you have sibs,  you  all fight like crazy when you are young... you blame every thing  on each other and never expect them to come to your rescue, and that's a good thing...because  they won't.

The older you get, the smarter you get.

My own momma taught me that before she died when I was seventeen.

So here are all three of my kids together today. TJ has decided to simply take a leap of faith and move to Australia.

The best part about him moving (if there is one)  is that it has emotionally moved  not only Massey (who adores him) but  more importantly emotionally moved his younger brother, Zach.

Over the past two months Zach and TJ  have  in the words of the Beatles, " Come Together, Right Now."  They mended fences and dug in deep as brothers.

In true Cotton fashion we were running behind this morning to meet TJ for his send off breakfast  by  the Atlanta airport.

We met TJ for breakfast with his Mother and his other sister. It was a Brady Bunch send off!!

I haven't seen Tim's ex wife since TJ played Tee ball when he was five.

We all came together today for a common goal. We all came together to show TJ we loved him.

Massey brought her camera and we took lot's of photos.

This is a pic of TJ and his mother, his sister and his niece.

Massey commented yesterday she thought it would be awkward because she has never met TJ's  mom or sister.

Zach clarified it for us all  this morning on the way to the  breakfast sendoff.

"We all love TJ and that's all  that matters."

We are a blended family...but we are a family.

I hugged TJ one last time and my eyes filled with tears. I turned away so he couldn't see it but my heart swelled, my eyes brimmed over and everything wrong he had ever done fell to the way side.

The only thing that made this alright was  he had both his moms and all his sibs. Family is everything in my book and TJ had it all!

Massey gives him two thumbs up  and I am just thankful to call him my son. I am just as thankful that DeAnne has allowed me to be a part of his life.

Waiting to hear great things from you TJ!!

WE ALL LOVE YOU...especially this old COTTON