The Eagle Has Landed

TJ spread his wings like an eagle and has finally landed safely in the "Land Down Under." He flew to LA first and spent a few days with friends. He landed tonight in Sydney, after nineteen hours in  the air.

Here's the most amazing thing about this trip.When your kid travels to  the other side of the planet everyone who loves and cares about him suddenly become BFFL's.

When I met Tim, TJ had just turned two. When we married he was four. I've never called or considered TJ a step son,  that just sounds "Cinderella Mean" to me. I consider  him the son who didn't give me stretch marks.

I've really had no reason to talk with his mother over the years. We met and spoke at TJ's tee ball games when he was little but other than that, he was either at our house or her house so there was no reason to worry or really converse.

Moving to the other side of the world is a whole different deal.

When I met Tim,  I was pretty  jealous of his ex. She was much more beautiful than I KNEW I would ever be and besides that..."She was his ex!" Weren't new wives supposed to hate ex wives? Well they did in the late eighties! I guess it was all  that hair spray and spandex confusing us with all the fumes and pants that were way too tight.

After TJ moved in with us I've probably spoken with her MAYBE twice.
I've probably spoken ten words to her in the last  ten years, but that was okay. I knew when TJ was with her he was fine and she knew when TJ was with us he was fine.

Now he is on the other side of the world  and suddenly we  ALL need to communicate.

His mom remarried and she and her husband own horses. We have dogs. Guess who's house got the better end of THAT deal?

We are both over two decades older. We are both over two decades wiser. We both love TJ  and's the thing which brought us full circle.

I am excited beyond belief for TJ and think this is an awesome thing he is doing.
I am almost as excited his blended family,  all of us,  have rallied behind him putting petty  differences and history to  the way side.

It's TJ  who matters and we all have his back!

His mom sent me a copy of the chat she had with him when he had free WiFi after he landed.

It's nice to all get along. It's nice to all have a common goal. The Beatles were right..."Love is all you need."  Til next time...COTTON
 

What Doesn't Kill You DOES Make You Stronger

This is a picture of Massey when she was one week old, still in the NICU fighting her way up to four pounds. If this helps you  realize how tiny she was, I don't have big hands!

Seventeen years ago  this little girl came into my life, way  too early and way too tiny, but she came anyway. Due October 5th (my momma's birthday) was too long for her to wait so instead she came August 19th (eighteen years to the day my momma died)

With Zachary I worked til two weeks past my due date (he's always been stubborn.) With Massey I was on total bed rest from my fourth month on. I guess  you  can say she has always been my
"Drama Queen!"

I got to the hospital in an ambulance after calling 911 at 3:30 in the wee hours of August 19th. When the paramedics got to my house I was sitting on a folded towel at the end of our driveway...I knew it wasn't good. By 4:23 she arrived via C-section. I lost five pints of blood and Massey lost some too, but we both made it. She came home with us two weeks later and continued to blossom.

This is one of my all time favorite pics of her. She was two and already sprouting the curly hair that she hates and I love! She was quiet as a mouse for the first four years...she hasn't shut up since.

 I love all three of my kids equally, yet in different ways.  I had my two boys first... and by the time they reached fourth grade, they were ready to be left alone to their own devices...most of which involved Pokemon cards or a game controller.

By this time Massey had met her BFF. Alyssa moved in next  door to us and moved into  Massey's heart. They are now 17 and 16 and still tight friends.  Friends may come and friends may go, but the friend next door will always know! I love  she has remained tight with her and believe they will be well into adulthood.

Massey joined the Guard in her last year of middle school and I was introduced to something I had never experienced. At this point we were flat broke but Massey wanted to do Guard so I let her. Other band parents paid part of her dues, bought her things when I couldn't and supported her like one of their own. I volunteered every time I could, ran a Funnel Cake stand at the football games and somehow made it to every competition except a few. She learned discipline and commitment. She learned camaraderie and what it takes to be part of a successful team. I made many friends and it was a joy to be part of such a dedicated group of not only students but parents.

Massey hit her junior year and realized she wanted to go far in life. She quit Guard and picked up her books. She made National Honor Society and has her focus on college, full force.

I diddled at college for two years and still want to go back and finish. I wish I had been more serious about it, but at least Massey is.

Trust me, this girl is going to take the world by it's horns and DO something major.

Unfortunately she had to endure us being broke when money matters most to a teen. No worries... my Massey was always thrilled when I brought home bags of hand me downs from friends who had daughters her age. She held her head up high when other kids said rude things about her repeating outfits at school or not having the right shoes or jeans to "Fit In."


My awesome brother has spoiled her rotten, just like he does me and my sister.

The above picture is the way I see Massey's future...smiling back at me with the world in front of her,  anxious to make her mark and more importantly make a difference.

Happy Birthday to my little girl.

You have given me fits at times, you have ticked me off plenty, but you have always made me proud and I know you will reach the stars and beyond.

The love I feel for you cannot be expressed in written words. The love I feel for you consumes me. You are going out to do what I should have done over thirty years ago...make a difference.

Massey Cotton...you are not only my daughter, you are my idol.

"Go gettum, kid."

Sick Kids Need Their Momma

I got a call at 8:30 this morning from Zach's current crib. "Your son is sick and you need to come take him to the doctor."

So they want to keep him under lock and key only letting him out for work..no calls no visitation but when he gets sick suddenly they want me involved. Tim had already left the house taking Massey to school so I called him to go pick Zach up and take him to our current PCP "The Doc N The Box" by Party City in the strip mall next to Target across the street from my job and drop him off.  I had to be at work by 10:30 and of course I had no money...that's why I was headed to work! I called the owner of the restaurant and she met me at work before ten... loaned me some money so they would see Zach and I went across the street and dropped off the money. He was sitting in a chair in the waiting room shivering and his head felt like an erupting volcano. It tore at my heart.

They can be six months old or they can be a stupid nineteen year old but when your kid is sick... Momma worries.

I paid Dr. Ben Casey (only old peeps like me will get this one) and they led Zach back to an examination room as I left to go back to work.

I got all my opening work done and called the "Doc N The Box." Zach had just left with three prescriptions to be filled next door at Target.  I got in my car and drove across the street to Target to pick  him up but as I walked into the door my cell buzzed and Zach said weakly "I'm at the restaurant. They said it would be forty five minutes and they didn't have a chair."

Back to the restaurant I went...trying to keep in mind he was not only incarcerated but sick.

I gave him a huge glass of OJ and found a warm up jacket someone had left on the coat hook by  the lobby entrance. He went to the back of the restaurant and fell asleep in one of the booths. The forty five minutes turned into two hours. (How long does it take to put pills in a bottle?) Barb watched my tables while I woke Zach and stuffed him into my car. They had given him three prescriptions, one being 800 mg Ibuprofen. I told him to take one immediately for the high fever and drove him back to the cage.

He was supposed to work at five because we had a party of 55 to 70 people coming in. I dropped him off and said to ask someone for a slice of bread or a cracker so he could take his other two meds. I really wanted to get out of the car and hug him tightly. No,  I take that back. I wanted to take him home and tuck him into his bed. I simply had to leave  him at the gate and know I had done all I could do.

I screamed back to work running only two yellow lights...it  was now the middle of my lunch shift and I tried to compose myself. I didn't get off til four but right before clocking out the party called and downsized to thirty people.  My boss said to let Zach stay out of work and called another server and told them the same. At least he's got tonight off and should be much better tomorrow. I went home and assumed the Lily Munster sleeping position for thirty minutes and climbed back into my car. I didn't get off til almost ten tonight.  Went by Kroger and got some milk and bananas. As a bonus I picked up some Pepper Jack Cheez-Its and headed home.

At least after mopping floors and cleaning bathrooms he got to (hopefully) go to sleep and let the meds kick in.  I have thought about him all day...I  think about him every day.

Yes he made a stupid mistake.  Yes it has taken a toll on all of us but he is learning his lesson and paying the toll as well.

I am "SO" over neighbors not waving or even attempting to acknowledge me as I drive down our short street. You know what? They should instead be thinking "There goes the 52 year old woman who not only works seven days a week but keeps the front of the subdivision cut for us and is fighting back from what was almost certain foreclosure when her husband and she as well lost their job.  Her kid screwed up but at least he is paying for it...You know what? She must be a pretty good woman and mother. How much can it hurt to just wave at her?"

"Karma"...and in the words of Forrest Gump "That is all I have to say about that."

Glad my boy is getting better and glad that on Mother's Day...ironically I will have him back!

Til next  time (Did I sound too bitter?) COTTON