Chugging Along...

I don't know how cold a witch's titty is but I am pretty sure we have it beat down here in the deep south. Working another seven day work week but learning to pace myself. I go to the store when I get off work at night so I don't have to leave the house until I have to go back to work the next  day. The last few days I have just been working night shifts so when I get home...even if it's after eleven o'clock, I don't have to step foot outside again for about sixteen hours. HECK... That's a day off to me!

I get up in the morning and have a cup of coffee, throw in a load of clothes or unload the dishwasher and then I call the pups and we all lay in my big ole king sized bed and watch CNN. Sometimes we feel frisky and stupid and watch "E" The True Hollywood Story. Sometimes we feel thinky and watch the History Channel. When I think I should be outside enjoying the day I put it on The Weather Channel and see what people with clothes on are doing (or enduring.)

Then right before the noon news comes on I start my calisthenics. I roll from my right side facing the TV to my left side. I don't have to watch the noon news, just listening suits me. I get the gist, the world's in the crapper and Joran only got 28 years for killing two young women. Time for my stretching exercises. I lay on my back and put my hands behind my head for a bit...ooh that feels great!

Time for my walking exercise. I go to the potty and within five minutes resume my position. No one is home but me, who's gonna tell...the dogs?

By about two o'clock I feel like I have been at a fancy Spa in Buckhead and  ready to face another day.

It sounds kinda sad when I actually read this but you know what? It keeps me sane and willing to go into work day after day after day. I stay up til around two every night getting things done around the house and blogging. I fall into bed around three knowing the  chores are done, groceries have been bought, put up and the next sixteen hours are  "ME" time.

I have always been a creature of the night. If I lived in Greenland I would probably love it, except  I would freeze to death. I didn't used to be but am currently skinny as a pitiful walking stick. I have been home from work for almost two hours and  still sitting in my long trench coat and scarf as I type.

Most importantly...why don't "Hot Flashes" kick in when you really need them?

Going to throw the clothes from the washer into the dryer, and thinking  that dryer looks big enough for me. Maybe if I just set it on "Wrinkle Guard" one of the dogs will paw the door open when I'm "Done."

I know it's still January but I'm praying for an early Spring. My boyfriend "Johnny Deere" looks lonely in the garage. He's so depressed that one of his tires went flat.

I thought it was hell being broke. It's even worse being a Leo in January.
Til next  time...continuing my daily exercises and waiting for SPRING!

COTTON!

Here Comes the Snow!!! (Not Really)

When you live in Georgia weather is a big deal...obviously we are lacking in the "Big deal department." If they forecast snow...even flurries, we all run to the store and buy up all the bread and milk. Forecast accumulating snow and the people who have money go  to Home Depot and fight over generators and Kerosene heaters. I just send one of my teens into the woods behind our house for free firewood.

We LIKE freaking out over some weather down here.
I worked tonight and we were balls to the wall busy... People going out for "The Last Supper" before the mighty flurries hit overnight. I had a party that made a reservation and asked for me. One of them said a friend of hers just moved here from Michigan and was laughing about how the entire city was in an uproar over the possibility of flurries. I told her to tell them "Wait til Tornado season hits."

The owners of the restaurant I work for are originally from Utica, New York. They have been here long enough to know "Weather is not a restaurant's friend, especially in the south."
Give us a warning that the temp is dropping below thirty and we all scurry to protect our  pipes. Tell us there may be frozen precipitation and we rape the store shelves. The problem is that we are not prepared in the least for Winter. Granted, I am a sissy too when it comes to cold weather. I like days that have a high of 95 degrees...as long as my A/C works. That's why I live here. I am skinny and already have hot "Splashes" twenty four/ seven. They can bring on an ice storm but I will still be sweating puddles.

A customer told me tonight that one city in Alaska had eighteen feet of snow dumped on them in a matter of days. Now "THAT" is Winter.

Down here we have school buses that are lucky to get our kids to and from school on a sunny day. Throw in the complication of the forces of nature and they cut their losses and call school off.

I have never worked a busier Thursday night. All the scaredy cat southerners came out to eat tonight, knowing they would be eating beans heated up over a can of Sterno tomorrow with that half inch of snow piled up at their front door barring them from leaving for two days.

Yeah, we're sissies down here and when a BIG weather event happens we are totally unprepared.

I was born and raised here...and it hasn't changed in fifty one years. Give us a day of extreme  heat and we seem prepared for it. (Unless you are homeless or have no A/C) I will admit that at least then the city kicks their lazy butts into action handing out free fans and open cooling stations.)

Talk about snow and everybody freaks! As a woman who sweats away two pounds three times  a night...I'm starting to LIKE Winter! I can always gain the weight back in Spring during Tornado season when I'm eating chips and dip in the laundry room on the first floor at the center most part of the bottom level of my house with the kids and dogs all stuffed in there with me.

Til next time (I did go buy dog food and toilet paper)....COTTON

Plowing Along

Actually I DO have two pairs of these overalls and two dogs that seem to eat as much as  two horses.

So far 2012 has been MUCH better although I am a little nervous about this coming Friday (the thirteenth.) Work has had some slow days but terrific days as well. Since I've already broken my resolution of taking one day off a week, I tend to  think of the slow shifts as my "Rest" periods.

Zach still hasn't found a job... but unknowingly is working for me. I don't pay him except with the roof over his head , Internet access and food to eat. At least I have someone to pick Massey up from school when I have to work and take her in  the mornings when Tim has to go in early. I have someone to do the laundry and unload and load the dishwasher. He is an excellent vacuumer and is pretty handy with fixing things around the house. I am keeping my fingers crossed no one hires him for at least two more weeks and he'll finally have the whole house in top notch order!

In all honesty I can say that if things keep going as they have , in six months we will finally round that corner we have been staring at way down the road for almost two years. No wonder my eyes are so bad, I've been constantly squinting for two years!

Speaking of that...everyone makes fun of my terrible eyesight at work. There are three computers at work and I have a pair of glasses stashed at every one of them. I buy them at the Dollar Store for $1.00 or root through the lost and found box until I find some that work. I break them all the time but Gorilla Glue them back together. Sometimes my co workers like to hide them from me making me think I have lost not only my eyesight but my mind as well. Don't they realize "I need my glasses to FIND my glasses?"I have found them stuck over picture frames or hidden behind a computer. It took me about a week to figure out what they were doing...Kudos to me, obviously I have taught them well!

My little Frenchy friend at work bought me  pair of stitching glasses from Michael's. They were actually pretty nifty looking and took me two days to break. I Gorilla Glued them and broke them again two days later. She had been off from work so I went across the street to Michael's and bought another pair exactly like them so she wouldn't notice when she came back. It took me three days to break the new pair. I get busy and stuff them into my apron or get in a hurry and drop them on the marble floor.

The problem is I "Refuse" to wear them at a table. I already have a  Great Race going on between my gray hair and wrinkles and another between my Carpal Tunnel and corns on my pinkie toes. I weigh ninety nine pounds.  Pretty much my dignity is all I have left...and I look like a Granny with glasses on.

When someone looks under thirty and orders a drink I card them. I squint at their driver's license and often ask them to point out their date of birth. Sometimes I can't get it far enough away from my face and ask THEM to hold it. Sometimes I have to take it back to the computer and look at it with my "Eyes on."

When I pick up a check and it has a credit card that says "Check ID" I put my glasses on when I am running the card by  the computer and look at the name. When I go back to the table at least I can say "Mr. Jones, I need to see your ID." If the fuzzy picture resembles their face I know I'm okay.

To make myself feel better I  tell myself my eyes aren't getting worse... my arms are getting shorter.

I can see fine unless it is up close. I can see that my life is getting better, I can see that I am blessed, I can see I have a great job and a wonderful family. What I can't see... is the things that aren't really THAT important, the little things.

Til next time "Squinting Cotton"

Rolling In The Dough...

Had a great weekend at work. When you are a server for a living it's a crap shoot day by day. You can have a great day or you can crap out. You roll the dice every time you clock in and just pray it all averages out to your advantage in the long run.

Christmas was busy but nothing like last year. The week after Christmas it actually picked up and this past weekend was "Christmas" for real! I had friends and blog readers that came in and tipped me outrageously and was just blessed with great tables and phenomenal tips. It allowed me to catch up to being just barely behind...something I am often not!

Friday was great, Saturday even better and Sunday was icing on the cake. We have a brunch on Sunday's that is off the chain. Frittatas and omelets, Eggs Benedict, fresh blueberry pancakes, banana nut pancakes and the best french toast I've ever had. It wasn't as busy as some Sunday's have been but it was just so great! My first table, an older couple from Jamaica who are regulars left me a fifty percent tip and my next six tables weren't far behind. Every table I waited on was pleasant, friendly and loving them some Kelly! No one griped no one sent food back no one treated me like "Just a waitress." I only waited tables for two hours and made almost seventy bucks. Adding this to my Friday and Saturday night...I "Took the money and ran."

I commented to another server "I'm probably gonna get T Boned at an intersection on the way home since I've been so lucky all weekend." Then I added that if I did,  she needed to speak at my funeral and say how prophetic I had been. I added to make it funny because my funeral is going to be one big comedy show send off... a "Comedy Roast of my ashes." Nothing but funny stories, lots of laughter and a keg of beer by  the door. I already have my hilarious brother booked as the emcee with my sister who is ALMOST as funny as him as his lovely assistant. The server said she had no doubt about that, as Barb walked by and added "Should we say you were a prophet or that you profited on your way?"

I'm in such a good place, not financially but physically. I work for people who genuinely love and care about me. I work hard for them and they appreciate it...that's hard to find these days, even if you are an executive or even just a dish washer.

A couple of weeks ago when I had a major meltdown before Christmas and my emotional walls were caving in I confided to Barb that I almost felt like killing myself except for the fact it would ruin Christmas even more for my kids...they would say "Dang, she didn't even buy us presents AND killed herself?"  Barb gave me a hug and said "Sweetie, I would miss you."

That's all it took...a hug and five kind words. I scraped my emotional self off the floor, shoved it in my pocket and kept on going. It ended up to be a great Christmas and I  realized all the drama was in my head when I should have realized what was in my heart...love and determination.

I laugh every day at work... a lot of people can't say that. I have three healthy kids, a husband who puts up with me and I laugh with them too. I think one of my better qualities is finding humor in most everything...

For example I was at work yesterday in the kitchen by  the bread oven. Barb goes to the bakery and buys  bread fresh every morning. If someone cuts half a loaf and doesn't use the other half it gets hard and crusty. There was a piece sitting on the cutting board and when I went to throw it away another server said "Don't throw that out!" I picked it up and it was hard as a rock. I said "What...are you going to use it to exfoliate your face?" I went to walk out of the kitchen as another server walked in and I commented over my shoulder "Don't throw away Dayna's loofah on the cutting board."

Today I worked with my buddy, Hoke and we ALWAYS find something to laugh about. A woman came in all by herself and sat at his table. Okay, she was strange and obviously lonely for company but very nice. He went to take her order and I went in  the kitchen to do something. I kid you not, ten minutes later he was still standing at her table with his order pad in his hand. When he came back to the kitchen I said "Were you  taking her medical history or her order?"



It's fun working with the public...it's like a constant psychology course. Some days are bad but there is always something to laugh about.

I love my life. I loved it more when we were making over six figures a year but at least I still love it. I remember one time years ago when I waited old two older women, well into their late eighties. We had a vegetable medley as a side dish on the menu and one of the women asked "What is your vegetable melody?" I sang back in a cute little tune (which I still remember to this day) "Broccoli, carrots, zucchini and peas!" She didn't bat an eye at me singing, just replied "I'll have them."
So I am "JUST" a waitress. I am "JUST" a mom. I am "JUST" a wife.
Life could be one heck of a lot worse...at least I laugh every day!
Til next time...COTTON

Slowly But Surely...

Work was WAY too much like work tonight. It's been crazy! This is typically a slow week but the past two nights have been like working in a cartoon. All I heard was the sound of bongos as I raced from table to table to table. Remember when  Fred Flinstone ran real fast and passed the same table and lamp in his cave time after time with his fat bare feet having the sound effect of  bongos? That was me all night except I had on shoes that were killing my feet and  sweating like I was in a sauna not a cave.

I'm not complaining (well kinda sounds like it) and it's been great but it ain't easy when you're fifty one and a menopausal woman. Christmas week was busy but not like usual. New Year's week was better but still below par. This past weekend has been insane! It's been great and my saving salvation. Cell phones are still working and I have made gas money for both me and Tim for the week. I almost have enough for the cable bill (cable and Internet providers are almost as evil as cell phone providers...greedy bastar*s.)

I have made my New Year's resolution. I am taking one day a week off...no matter what. The problem with me is if I take a day off I don't make any money. On the other hand if I kill myself working week after week after week, what's it gonna help when I stroke out at work and crack my head open on the floor when I crash? That may give me TOO many days off and another bill to pay unless they Gorilla Glue my head back together.

Life is slowly getting much better... well I wouldn't say MUCH and it has been slowly,  but I  WILL say it was once SO bad that it makes NOW look Tim and I are Ralph and Alice Cramden making Ed and Trixie Norton jealous.

Baby steps... One day at a time. Be a good person and good things will happen to you. Love and you will be loved. Keep humor as your friend and God as your guide. Never give up and always know you can make tomorrow a better day.

Heading back to work in a few short hours but only for a day shift. You have to take care of  yourself if you want to be able to help take care of others.

A New Year...a New plan.

Til next  time...Cotton









We are so close, well not SO close but it is easing up a bit.

Back to Two Shows a Day...

Had me a big fat day off yesterday. It's turned into Siberia here in the deep south and when I came home from work Tuesday afternoon I vowed  to not step out of my house until I had to be back at work. I cooked Chili for my family and all the teens that somehow miraculously show up when I decide to cook. ( must be an app on their smart phone) I went out begrudgingly, on Wednesday for gas and some groceries but was back in my comfy slippers long before the sun went down. We heated up left over Chili and munched on a massive coffee cake I bought while at the grocery store. I was in the bed by nine and LOVIN' IT!

I went to sleep and woke up three hours later in a pool of sweat so deep you could dive into it and not hit your head. I ain't kiddin'.

I've only experienced night sweats sporadically for about a year but the past month somebody turned the heat up WAY too high and is trying to kill me by drowning me... in my own sweat. I wake up literally soaking wet and five minutes later add another blanket and a pair of Tim's tube socks. Two hours later I am stripping again and then two hours later hunting around in the dark for the tube socks I hurled across the room in a fit of sweaty rage.

I went into work today and limited myself to one pot of coffee. I came home on my break ... stripped climbed into bed and a tee shirt ... lay flat on my back (to not muss my haircut I got on my break ...less than twenty bucks with a 20% tip and my makeup that took five minutes to apply this morning)

I went back into work this evening to have the honor of  waiting on two older women I have waited on before.

The two women, one in her eighties and a buddy (my kind of table) said I looked too skinny and I told her I was losing weight because I was currently sweating out at least five pounds a night.

They had a great meal and loved my comedy routine. When I went to give them the check, they fought over it but one of the women slipped me her card..."She won!"

I got to the computer to scan her credit card and noticed she had given me her driver's license. I  went back to the table and  simply said "You won the check but can't pay the bill with this...although now I know where you live and how much you weigh."

The other older woman said "What would you have done if she had handed you her insurance card?"

I told her I would have run out the back door,  to the nearest Emergency Room and demanded for  someone to stop me from sweating away the last ninety pounds I had left."

The next table I had was a younger couple. The wife said "I love your haircut...where did you get it cut?'
I told her at  a military base." She asked "Really?" and I said "No but that's what my husband says."

They had a great meal and I  wowed them with I think is what one of  my greatest advantages...my humor and obvious PHD in BS that I have honed quite masterfully.

It was slow at work but I made enough to keep the cellphones on...for another day. I've figured out how to work the system there too! Number one, Verizon won't go bankrupt without my own time payment. Number two even though cell phones seem to be a necessity now, especially when you have teens driving your vehicle, they fall way down the list behind mortgage, utilities and groceries. First off I DO try to pay them, I stop by and throw a twenty in the auto pay machine when I can remember to when I leave work if they are open. Number two if they don't harass me I sometimes forget about them and then suddenly I get a text or phone call from them saying I am due to be cut off. (Cry me a river Verizon, try walking in my tiny shoes for a while)

Now I've learned not to answer their call, they always want you to use a credit card to pay them (don't own one) or draft a check from your account (good luck with THAT one...tee-hee)

I wait for their next move...sending you a text. I answer the text which leads me to a number I can call and talk to no one but hear a menu to choose from. Press one to make a payment (no thank you) Press two to hear your balance (already know my balance...it's past due) Press three for more options. (BINGO)  Then after pressing three there is an option  "Notify us of a payment that has already been sent."  I have the number "three" programmed on speed dial . Then the automated voice thanks me sweetly for letting them know that money is on the way (which it isn't) but buys me at least four more days (five with a holiday thrown in.)  Then I go by when I can and put a twenty into their hungry automated pay machine . By  the time I get the text notification "This is to notify you of a missed payment arrangement" I usually have made enough money to repeat the process all over again!!

Dang...I should write a book! "How to be poor but survive AND Have Cell Phones."

I don't like not having a lot of money anymore...but it is temporary. Verizon has plenty of money, so does my bank. I look at it this way... "I am helping THEM help ME."

BFF's again. In this economy I am living by  the seat of my pants and the motto "A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." If Verizon doesn't like it I can go to WalMart and buy us all pre paid cell phones. (not really, WalMart pushes a check through like a line backer)

It's getting better, we're getting better and the economy is slowly getting better. I have done things I really don't like having to do but have somehow made it this far. Hopefully I will laugh about all of this one day when I am old... Who am I trying to kid? I "AM" old, but I'm not trying to get one over on anyone just trying to muddle through til the path is clear in front of me.

To be honest I am a firm believer in God and Karma. I may not be Mother Teresa, but I'm not a bad person and I still help others when I can. I know THIS system works because I have been helped these past two years by SO many people that it boggles my mind.

If you need help from me, just call my cell phone and press "Three."  :)

These night sweats, we're gonna have to talk about. For Pete's sake...I'm getting hit with another now.

My life is good...at least I am breathing and I am loved!

Til next time....Flashin' With Fury, COTTON

I Knew Getting Old Would Suck...Nobody Told Me It Would Be a Vacuum!

So I snapped a picture of myself today and this is what developed.  Wow...what will I look like at 52?

I'm skinny and winter has reared it's ugly head today here in the deep south. I froze all day at work...I held a cup of hot water to warm my hands and spent all my free time in  the kitchen holding my arms under the heat lamps we have to keep food warm til the cooks put plates of food up blocking my access. I left around three for my break and could barely get the back door of the restaurant open,  the wind was blowing so hard. I skittered my way across the parking lot to my car. I had one hour between shifts and crawled under the covers fully dressed...flat on my back so I wouldn't muss my hair or makeup and my feet didn't get even semi warm for at least forty five minutes.

So here's my problem...I'm too skinny and I know it. One of my resolutions is to get back up to my fighting weight.  On the other hand, I wake up at LEAST four times a night sweating like a race horse coming into the home stretch.

To  add insult to injury I need to shave my face more than I do my legs these days. Tim says it's because I am so damn bossy my body  thinks I am a cranky old man. I told him to leave the comedy to me, thank you very much!

Massey gave me a free facial gift certificate for Christmas from a spa in the shopping center where I work. I asked her if she thought they would give me a free shave too and I think she threw up a little bit in her mouth (at least her expression looked like it.)

Getting old ain't easy...between trying to stay warm and cooling down from hot flashes I should have pneumonia. I tend not to shave my legs in the winter too much (which also totally grosses Massey out) but it helps my knee socks stay up. I have  my hair cut at least every six weeks or I go totally gray headed. When it's short it just looks like I paid for highlights.

I have Carpal Tunnel in one wrist and a bad hip on the other side. I currently have two painful corns on both of my pinkie toes and if anyone even grazes my shoe at work I react like a Clydesdale stepped on my foot.

I seem to be falling apart at my tiny seams but somehow keep on keeping on...I think it is a "Female" thing. I remember when my youngest son was born and for the life of me I couldn't get him to say "Momma." All he would say at one year old was "Daddy." My husband said to me  "You're so bossy he thinks he has two daddy's."

So number one my husband can be funny...number two, if I'm not bossy nothing gets done.

Age has never been a factor for me until recently. When a woman hits "HOT FLASH" stage the whole game changes. It may sound crazy and most probably is but when I wake from a deep sleep and stretch or yawn...I immediately have a hot flash. Is there a correlation? There must be, I have actually noticed it over the past few days.

So men just get soft around the middle but plow right along while women get bombarded with ailments and pounds of unwanted sweat at the most inopportune times.

I sit here at my computer having been home from work for over two hours and still have on my lined over coat, hat and scarf while my husband is snoring away upstairs in his tighty whitey's with  the comforter pulled up to his neck sawing logs.

I blame it all on Eve.

It's supposed to be even colder here tomorrow... Going to bed in tube socks and thermals only to peel them off night sweat by night sweat.

Vasectomies should be a LOT more painful...now THAT would make ME feel better!

Til next  time...Cold, then hot COTTON

A Fresh Start

So it is 2012...I don't think I have ever been happier to see a year be in the past. All I have left of my immediate family is my sister and  brother. My family may be small but our hearts are huge and our love is all encompassing. We still pick on each other but it is all in jest (at least I hope it is.) We have a bond that will never be broken. We are all the product of Frank and Ann Leach and that in itself is something to be mighty proud of.

My brother has definitely taken over the role as patriarch of the family. My sister is the one that amazes both me and my brother and I am the red headed step child  they both love and take care of. (HEY, they don't call you  the baby of the family for nothing.)

For twenty years I sailed along in calm seas. When my ship hit the ice berg I had more life vests flung at me than I could ever imagine. I tried to stay positive, failing miserably at some points but  pulled through by  the grace of God and the love of family and tons of friends. I don't mean just recent friends although they helped too. I mean people I went to grammar school with. I mean people I went to high school and college with. I mean people that  never even met me but read my ramblings I call "My Blog."

Friends from my daughter's high school and band, friends from  the Western Sizzler I got fired from. Relatives that I only recently met. Friends from the new place I work.

To be loved is a tremendous and powerful feeling. Over the past year and a half I have lost twenty pounds and gained  more gray hair and wrinkles than I ever dreamed I would at the age of fifty one.

On the other hand I have gained the knowledge of realizing "Love is all you need."

If God loves you...You are taken care of. If family loves you, you are blessed. If friends love you, you are lucky.

I have constantly TRIED to pay it forward...even  if in baby steps. I put more money into red buckets this year while they were dinging their bell, gave more "Toys to Tots" than I ever have and even given hand outs at intersections in downtown Atlanta.

I sometimes feel ashamed  I have needed so much help...Then when I really stop and think about it,  I feel grateful to be loved by so many.

Your love has been a blessing, your love has gotten us through. Your love has been an inspiration to me.

Never think for a second that  I am not grateful for everyone who has so generously , anonymously and openly helped me through these times.

2011 is behind me (with all of your help) and with God as my witness  "2012 is the Year of the Cotton."

My youngest son is an avid fan of  Dr. Seuss and I used to think he was just tripping until I started to listen to him. I went back and read his books again and realized,  this guy  may have not been a big fan of little kids but he was a genius with words that ring true even into adulthood.

So to my Blog readers I say,  by way of Dr. Seuss ...

"So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads."

I hope my Blog inspires others, I know it inspires ME. It's nice to have a place to go. It's nice to have people listen and empathize. You know what? It's just nice to have people love you.

I have struggled these past few months to stay positive but with tons of help and a slap in the head to myself I have survived.

"It's a troublesome world. All the people who're in it are troubled with troubles almost every minute. You ought to to be thankful, a whole heaping lot, for the places and people you're lucky you're not." Quote from Dr. Seuss.

Til next  time...COTTON

Dr. Seuss Was Right!

"What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?"

I stressed myself to the max about two days before Christmas Eve. I didn't have a tree (for the first time in fifty one years)  I hadn't bought the first present for anyone, let alone my kids. Unfortunately...or not , my kids all know I am broke and asked for nothing.

While at work the day before Christmas Eve, an angel came in and handed Barb, my boss an envelope to give to me. She left quickly saying she didn't want me to see her and when I opened the envelope there was a note that simply read "Merry Christmas from a friend" and had a hundred dollar bill inside. I was stressed because I knew I was negative in my checking account, which allowed no room for my artful kiting skills. I knew over the next  two days I would make enough money  to buy some food and a few small presents but was frantic over my bank account. My wonderful boss offered me a loan and between her and my Christmas angel I was on my way as soon as I got off work. My bank account was in the black and I had at least one present for each of my kids.

It doesn't end there. I got home with less than a hour before I was due back for the dinner shift and a friend of Massey's mother had come by and loaded my kitchen cabinets with food and my freezer as well. I sat at the kitchen table and bawled like a baby , wiped away the tears and headed back to work. I made pretty decent money and Christmas Eve day bought a couple more presents and since I was in the black went by my favorite store (who takes longer than any store I know to process a check) and finished my shopping. It was a bare minimum and I felt like a crappy Momma but now  had some presents and food for Christmas Day.

I gave my husband the twenty bucks I had left and demanded he go out and find me a tree while I was at work Christmas Eve night.

We were busy as a bee hive at work and my last table (who came in five minutes before closing left me a forty five dollar tip on a hundred dollar tab.)

By the time I got off it was 10:45 PM on Christmas Eve.

Like any other waitress or bartender... I headed to the gas station...the only store still open. I was first in line with a Waffle House waitress behind me and her co worker behind her. I took that last PHAT tip  and bought forty five scratch off lotto tickets. When I bought the tickets and commented they were for my kids,  one of the waitresses behind me said "You're a good Momma!"

 I got home and divided them up between my  kids and two nephews. I called my sister (like I do most every night) and we decided to set ground rules. "If they hit anything over $100 I get a ten percent cut."

Barb had given me  a Turkey Breast from Honey Baked Ham for helping the restaurant with their Face book page and once home,  I was all set! The tree was up and decorated and my oldest son was there. I had all three of my kids there for Christmas, had presents , a tree and felt the weight of the world suddenly lift from my tiny, bony shoulders.

On Christmas morning I woke, tired as a granny from the ten shifts I crammed into the past week... but when my kids opened their presents and we had a tree to sit around, it felt really good.

A few hours later my nephew arrived with his girlfriend, followed shortly by my sister her husband and my other nephew. My brother showed up last announcing his arrival by coming in my back kitchen door blowing an air horn. It's the first time my bull dog's ears have worked and the hair on his fat little neck stood out like a Mohawk. He barked for five minutes and we all laughed for at least fifteen.

The party began, my brother started making bloody mary's and all the food was set out to eat. We laughed so much it was ridiculous, we ate drank and quickly became merry!

All the kids were spoiled  rotten by my brother and we all laughed and laughed and laughed. If there is one thing I can say about my family...it's that we are a fun bunch!

The one person  that deserved a gift from me was my brother. He was the one I didn't buy for but knew he would understand. He would want me to buy for my kids...and I did. My sister and I  already pinkie sweared we wouldn't exchange gifts and were okay with that. She gave me dish towels that I desperately needed and I gave her a hour long massage that made us look like Ellen and Portia on their anniversary. If my family heard her utter one more time "OH yeah, RIGHT there" we would both be masters of ceremony in a gay pride parade. It meant a lot to her and she swears I could be a professional masseuse. (Shows how easy my sister is to please.)

The next  day I got up to go to work and my car battery was dead. My brother in law came over and took the battery to be tested (it was  dead as a door nail) and fixed the breaker switch so the washer and dryer my brother gave us worked .

It was a great Christmas! I was together with my family, we laughed more than I have in months and everyone had a good time.

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Dr. Seuss)

I am not a great person, far from it. But I work hard and love harder and my life has been blessed because of it.

Enjoy the video of my crazy brother berating my nephew for not knowing how to use Massey's camera...he was supposed to be taking a picture but shot a short video instead. A short glimpse into the family that means more to me than anything. They are my life and the reason I keep on keeping on!!

Til next time...COTTON

Well..It's Christmas and All Through the House...

It happened... Christmas that is.
I worked myself into a frenzy and had several breakdowns but as usual God , family strangers and friends made it happen.

I wasn't crazy about working Christmas Eve night but didn't have a choice...I needed to. Of course I got seated with a party of five, five minutes before we closed at eight PM. Only one woman ... with a child in a high chair.  She was waiting for the rest of the party to show up. They got there at 8:20. I felt like throwing up. I had so many things to do at the house.

I sucked it in and treated them as well as I do any of my tables. It was their first time eating with us and I gave them my spiel. They were really  nice... anyway, what does it matter if it is after eight thirty on Christmas Eve? Even Wal Mart was closed. I  sold them two desserts and got the tab up to $100.
 They left and I went to clear  the table. They had left me a $40 tip!

I chased them down  in the parking lot and told them how much I appreciated their generosity and said to the man who paid the tab "Thanks Santa!"
I  got out of work around ten and headed  for the gas station to finish my Christmas shopping  I started today at noon. I was in line first with a Waffle House waitress behind me and her co worker behind her. I decided to play the odds and take that last phat tip and gamble it on lotto tickets  for my three kids and my two nephews.

 I said to the Indian guy behind the counter who totally spoke no English "I want forty Christmas scratch off tickets." Thankfully his cousin Apu was near by and translated. The waitress behind me looked at me and I said "They're for my kids." She said "Damn you're a good momma."

You know what? I have been so stressed thinking what a terrible mom I am not being able to spoil my kids rotten this Christmas.
But when I talked to my sister last night,  all depressed about Christmas  she reminded me that when all my kids were young and believed in Santa...Tim and I were sitting PHAT and spoiled them rotten.

 Now they are all old enough to know that utilities and  the staples of life are a gift.  None of my kids expect anything but with the help of generous customers and my generous bosses they will all have a pretty decent Christmas. My brother came through , fixed our furnace and gave us a new washer and dryer, my sister came through and talked me out of my suicidal breakdown, friends have provided us with Christmas dinner and all will be Merry at the Cottons on Christmas morning.

Two tough years behind me and the world in front of me..

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Til next  time..Popping Cotton!

Christmas is Next Week, Right?

I have two days til Christmas Eve and haven't done anything. No tree... It's the first time in 51 years I have never had a live tree. I've bought two presents and one of them has already been given.

I make myself feel better by saying "Christmas isn't til next week." In fact Christmas is on Sunday, which is the first day of the week...so I'm good til next week.

I'm not  stressing too much. My kid's are old enough to know I am broke as a joke. My sister and I have agreed to not buy each other presents. I am giving my brother a check for $1000.00 post dated for 2014 and giving my nephews gas cards. Depending on how much I make tomorrow on my double shift...  they may get twenty a piece or if I hit the jack pot, thirty.

I am more concerned about buying a ham and a turkey for sandwiches on Christmas Day when everyone comes to our house.

I truly believe that this is our last "poor" year. I have Massey's wish list covered when I get off from my lunch shift  Thursday, my boys could care less about a present  and as long as I have plenty of food and drink we will have a fabulous time.

It's hard to be fifty one and struggling. On the other hand it has brought me promptly back to Earth. Nothing is promised, nothing is  guaranteed. The things that are important change as you grow older and you simply adapt.

I am more worried about getting my house clean before everyone comes over on Christmas Day to get their "Non" presents. I have two dogs and two teens who battle for the messiest and I am working double shifts on Thursday and Friday... My oldest son has moved away but will be here too.

It will be a house full of Leach/Cottons and a place that will warm my heart and soul.
It will be what Christmas is all about...family, fun and tons of laughter.

My present will be all of us being together. Trust me, when my brother and sister are here...add me in the mix and it is a pretty good time!

We had great parents...they left us way too early but left us in the company of each other. I think being  around my sister and brother is the greatest Christmas present I could ever wish for.

I may not be able to buy presents but my family's "Presence" is just the thing I need !

Working double shifts Thursday and Friday. Have Saturday day off to scramble together food  and first/last minute shopping.

I have a feeling this will be the greatest Christmas EVER!

No wonder they call me Rotten Cotton...I am spoiled beyond belief. To put it simply... I am loved!

Tis The Season...

So as I sit here at my computer...time is ticking away. I have four days til Christmas Eve and  finally bought my first present today. Actually my second. (I bought a  friend a book I knew she wanted and gave it to her when she came in for a Christmas party with her work group at my restaurant. She brought me the same exact present when she came in...great minds think alike)

So I've bought two...Starting early this year! You know I used to get stressed out. I passed stressed out about a year back, moved on to freaking out , sat in a closet and cried for a day and then just moved on to face the rest of my life. You can hide from your problems but they won't go away...only YOU can make them go away. I was one of the lucky ones, I had tons of help...more than I deserved.

I am lucky that my kids are 25, 19 and 16. The Tooth Fairy , Easter Bunny and Santa years are behind them. For years they were all spoiled rotten, so was I.

The past two years have been eye opening yet heart warming. We have made it through, lost some perks but have  learned to truly appreciate.

My kid's are kids. They took everything for granted. Over the past two years they have learned (along with me) NOTHING is guaranteed. They have  learned how to make dinner out of whatever is in the kitchen cabinet and not one of them has whined about it. (well maybe, but just a little)

I think this may be our greatest Christmas ever...

I have tomorrow day off and plan to go buy a Christmas tree. Heck, shouldn't they be marked down by now? I may bring home a twenty foot tree for twenty bucks! Then I'll go into work and let Zach decorate it. Granted I may come home to a "Bob Marley"  Christmas tree but that's okay with me...maybe I'll drink some"Red, red wine" and help him.

I have been paying bills and just trying to stay ahead of my checks. I have been working like a demon while being sick for over a week. I am old, I am sprouting more gray than Betty White but bursting at the seams with the Christmas Spirit.

It's not about the gifts. It's about saying Merry Christmas to random people you pass on the street. It's about holding a door open for someone. It's about letting people cross in front of you when you are sitting in your car waiting for a parking spot while they are walking in the rain carrying packages.. It's about dropping a dollar into a Salvation Army bucket every time you see one. It's about going to Big Lots and buying baby dolls and dropping them off for "Toys for Tots." It's about telling people "God bless you" when you hear them sneeze.

It's about not judging people. It's about loving. It is about knowing however bad off  your life is, there are literally hundreds of millions that would feel lucky to walk in your shoes...Heck, they would be thrilled to just HAVE shoes.

I am not worried one bit. I have a houseful coming over on Christmas Day...but they are MY family and I could feed them all Spaghettios and they wouldn't complain. That's how lucky I am.

I am one of the luckiest women in the world. I have a husband that for some bizarre reason loves me. I have three kids that are healthy,  perhaps sometimes underfed to their glutton's desire but doing okay. I have a brother and sister who have come to my rescue more times than I can count. I am a lucky woman.

My Christmas will be amazing...it already is. Our furnace is fixed thanks to my brother, who is probably still looking for a transfer to Yemen to get away from me. I have a sister who is my touch stone.

Christmas will happen...I am sure of it. It may be a Christmas of home made gifts and excuses but it will be a Merry one.

I will be at the gas station on Christmas Eve. I will start on the motor oil aisle, work my way to the gift card stand and end up buying scratch off tickets and gas cards for my nephews.

We'll have a big ham and eat sandwiches all day and my brother will bring his rolling bar and provide us with Bloody Mary's.

Never take for granted what you have today, just be thankful for God, family and the chance to wake up tomorrow and make it a better day.

So what I'm not a big dog anymore...I have seen Chihuahua's that could chew your arm off, or at least act like they could.

It's not the size of your stature but the size of your heart. Tell a random person "Merry Christmas" and notice the surprised look on their face...That should tell you a lot about what is wrong with this world.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Merry Christmas...God bless, and Pay It Forward!!

Til next time...COTTON

Spin It Any Way You Want...I'm On The Downhill Slide

So I am fifty one years old...will be fifty two in seven months. Even if I live to be a hundred I am on the down hill slope of my life. My eyes are terrible my legs kill me constantly and I think my wrinkles are in a race with my gray hair.

I waited on a table the other day of six Blue Hairs, all decked out in their Christmas sweaters, earrings bracelets and socks. They were so sweet but it started me thinking..."This will be ME in twenty years." (if I live that long)
I went to take their drink order when the one on the outside of the booth was dabbing at her nose with a Kleenex . I asked what she wanted to drink and she promptly pulled out her blouse and tucked the tissue into her bra and not batting an eye said "I'll just have water." For Pete's sake! It wasn't an embroidered linen handkerchief from her great grandmother, it was a piece of tissue... (fancy  toilet paper) but she was saving it for future use.

People  in their eighties remember what it's like to be poor and most probably are freaked out over gas being sometimes  almost four  dollars a gallon and monthly electric bills that would once have heated their house for the entire year  . People in their eighties know how to stretch a dime and obviously a Kleenex  too. People in their eighties are ME in less than thirty years...YIKES!

I like waiting on older folks. You  bring bread to their table and they all clasp  their hands together in joy as if you sat down a plate of caviar. Most all servers I work with are in their twenties, so when I wait on   seniors and chat with them I  remember things that they do...rotary dial phones, even the ones you hand cranked. My mom had one hanging on our kitchen wall.  Ours didn't work but the bell still did. I remember black and white TV, rabbit ears and "Charles Chips." I remember the Cuban Missile crisis , Truth or Consequences,  The Lawrence Welk Show and Art Linkletter.

JEEZ...I AM old!

How did it happen?  I don't stuff Kleenex into my bra (although I did in high school) but I AM guilty of sometimes squeezing my legs together when I sneeze real hard. I still weigh what I did in high school and it suddenly seems  that is about all I have left of my youth.

I know it could be worse but I sure wish I could roll the clock back JUST a bit. My twenties I don't really remember much (oops), my thirties were great and my forties were outstanding.

Now I sit at the top of the last slide of life. I don't want to go down but I have to.  Age is behind me shoving from the back. I can hear them laughing "She can't even read a book without glasses, just give her a push... she won't see where she's going."

I had kids late in life so now I am faced with growing old and still having to stay somewhat young so I don't look like a complete idiot to my two remaining teens and their friend's that feel my house is a food/ drink/ video/ cyber magnet.

I like having teens here, I really do. If they weren't all hanging at my house I would just wonder where they  were... worry  more and  increase my wrinkles/gray hair intake.

 My doctor (the one on General Hospital) says to keep  stress levels down so I just let them all hang here and have learned quite a bit from them along the way.

It took me a while to learn how to use "Word" on my cell phone and even longer to learn all the text acronyms. I am now FYI, SMHS  at WTH is going on with not only society but the world in general.  We seem to need help ASAP  and realize  WWJD?

I'm hanging in there, I'm coming off a two year run of bad luck but by the grace of God and the love of family and friends will make a while longer.

I am thinking about a book of acronyms for us ole farts.  I  Like  HFM "Hot Flash Momma" or BIKM "Back Is Killing Me."  How about SCP911 "Sharp Chest Pains 911" I think the best would be MCBRTY..."Merry Christmas Blog Readers Thank You."

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Til tomorrow...COTTON

Welcome To MY World Little Missy!

So Massey has started working part time for the restaurant I work for...and she thought OUR family was dysfunctional!

We are a bunch of nuts at work and all a little crazy in our own individual ways, but that's the way I like it. Mixed nuts have always been my favorite.

She's not feeling her best, our furnace has been out for three days and of course she came down with a cold right before the heat went out. On top of that her bedroom is the only one on the ground floor with the garage on the other side of one wall and the front of the house on another...in other words her room is the coldest one in the house. Luckily I bought her a small ceramic space heater last week on a whim for her room and also she is right by the kitchen so I just turn the oven on 200 degrees before I go to bed around 2 and Tim turns it off when he gets up early for work. Heck, I should throw a roast in the oven before I go to bed and dinner would be ready by six in the morning!

She worked with us last night busing tables and I'll have to hand it to her, even feeling like crap she did a great job. She has grown up surrounded by the restaurant world and knows how the system works, knows to ignore the potty mouth she hears from the back and how to behave in the front of the house. One of the hostesses who is eighteen decided to call in and quit over the phone so she got got put on the schedule for this morning as well. I had to close last night and didn't get out til late so Tim picked her up and she came home... fell into bed with another dose of cold medicine and was ready before me this morning for work.

When we got there she asked who the hostess was and I told her "It's YOU."

With brief instructions we opened the doors and "Off she went!"  She did just fine and hung in there til almost four this afternoon when I got off. I took her across the street to Target and bought her some flu medicine, bought her and Zach some sandwiches from Panera and dumped her off at  home and got back to work ten minutes late for my night shift. What amazes me is she did a better job than some of the grown people we have had host for us. She made me proud and has fifty bucks to show for it.

She has the owner Len wrapped around her little finger. I have never seen the big ole bear  as sweet as he is when talking about or to Massey.

Another server, Hoke (my best friend...remember Driving Miss Daisy?) told Massey "Don't get sucked into this restaurant world...it's like a drug, you just can't stop or get out." He is right in a way...look at me! It's a life I chose but a life that has served me well. (small pun) Every shift I work is  pay day, the better I do my job the better the pay check. Not always,  but if you do your best the odds are in your favor. At  the age of fifty "ish" I think of myself more as a writer...a poor writer but still a writer. I have faith in myself that one day it will happen for me and being a server has helped support my family until I can reach my OWN goal... of being discovered, published or both.

Massey will go far in life, I have no doubt. She is driven and hungry (totally a metaphor...I DO feed my kids although we HAVE been through a ton of peanut butter in the past two years and she has only recently learned to drive.)

She will use this job as a vehicle to help her reach her her desired goals and it will be padding along the bumpy way to a successful life.

She's working with a bunch of nuts,  me being one of the biggest ones. I like being a nut, makes life so much more fun!

Another server and I had a group of ten older ladies in a private room today  for their little Christmas get together. They all came,  each in a Christmas sweater or vest..some had both. Of course it was all separate checks. I had the checks printed off but when I went back into the room they had all changed seats to chat with other friends so I just called out what they had ordered wanting them to raise their hand and claim their check.

The first check,  I said "So who had the small Barbarella salad?" They all sat stunned and no one said said anything. I repeated it and they all sat silent and stared at me. Finally the woman in the reindeer vest sat up straight and said "Oh, that was me!"

I said "Thank goodness, I thought maybe I was in the wrong room...it happens to me all the time, that  hamster falls asleep in his little wheel." That got  a chuckle and things went smoothly after that. They were adorable and left us a phat 20% tip.

I  enjoy being in charge of my own destiny. The harder I work, the better service I give... the better my audience seems to appreciate me.

My co worker was right in a way...waiting tables IS like a drug. You need money... you work.  If you need more money you work even more. You work until you have what you need then enjoy the high of your success and want even MORE!

People who don't think being a server is a real job aren't  being real...trust me!

I don't wanna brag but I am a master of my craft and a professional at what I do.  What makes icing on the cake is that I enjoy it and it suits me just fine.

Call me a dealer...I am! I deal out great service in a time when people want the best bank for their buck. When they go out and spend hard earned money...how lucky are they to get not only excellent service but a comedy show for free?

Come see me...I do ten to twelve shows a week!

The beach season has opened in the restaurant world...three weeks where you pack your nuts for the rest of winter. Hopefully my little cheek's will be poppin' and droppin' !!

Come see me for some yummy food and meet the new Hostess Extraordinaire!! Remember, mention my blog and you get a free appetizer or dessert!

Til Next time...COTTON

At Least He is Handsome and Hardworking...

I have been married to Tim for over twenty years. He is handsome and hard working but knows his weaknesses. "Fixing anything or even attempting to try."

Me...I'll attempt anything and usually get the job done with a minimal amount of duct tape. I have replaced the faucet and pipes in  the kitchen sink, fixed ole Johnny Boy on numerous occasions and fixed our dryer several times. My next door husband has taught me a lot and I learned a lot by trial and error. I have unstopped drains and replaced the innards of toilets. I have fixed ceiling fans and I have replaced many a vent hose. Lawn mowers seem to be my "Forte" I feel like I could build a John Deere from the ground up.

Our microwave quit turning about a year ago and was just aggravating. The food never heated all  the way through because the table didn't turn and  burned popcorn every  time for the same reason.

I work in a restaurant which means we are in our "Beach Season." We have from Thanksgiving to New Years to pack our nuts for the Winter. Massey was at work with me one day last week and as I counted my tips said "Let's go get a new microwave when I get off."
 A co worker said "Can you wait three days?" Of COURSE I can wait three days...I have been using a piece of crap microwave for over  a year. She owns a house in South Carolina she is trying to rent and had an extra microwave in it. She was driving up  to check on the house and said she would bring the spare one back for me.

Just like my email address says, we are "The Clampetts." She brought it to work with her a few days later and I stuck it in the trunk of my car when I left after a lunch shift to go pick Massey up from  the high school. When Massey  came out and popped the trunk to throw her book bag in she squealed "OOH a Microwave!"

We took it home and you would have thought I brought a new puppy to the house. Zach came into the kitchen and commented on how much bigger it was and toted the carcass of the old one out to the garage to die.  Massey immediately wanted to cook some Ramen noodles and I took a picture of her using the microwave for the first time and we sent the pic to my co worker on my phone.

Some people may think that is pitiful..we call it "Stinkin' Grateful!"

Massey and I went to the grocery store and while there picked up some microwave pop corn in  celebration. I asked Massey if we should get big bags or  mini bags? She voted for the mini bags so we chose them .

I got home from work the next night and Massey  told me when she asked Tim how he liked the new microwave he  said "Well the POP CORN button doesn't work, it burned the crap out of it."

I think microwaves are spooky too from the get go. They move molecules around and cook things. But they aren't smart enough to know if you put in a mini bag or regular size bag of pop corn!!  I guess Tim thought they did.

Yes, he is my "Homer Simpson."

But if he can put up with me I guess I can put up with him...

Til next time...Marge COTTON

So I'm Old..

Got home from work tonight and walked into the house through the kitchen door. I had the thermostat set on 67 and it was 64 in the house. Now I am all about keeping cool all with my hot flashes, but knowing Massey is sleeping on the bottom floor of the house  and winter has made it's appearance known the past two days... it worried me.

I didn't want to open the attic door on  the top floor of the house,  flooding the upstairs with cold air in case it was something I couldn't quickly fix but did it anyway. The furnace was making noise so I scampered back down the stairs and quickly shut the door.

Like the new age techno savvy mom I am I went to Face book for an answer, getting post after post from a friend of mine from when I worked for Johnny's Pizza back in the early eighties. That's what broke people like..."Free advice."

We went through several question and answer  posts and after determining it was a gas furnace and secretly going into my kitchen to light the stove top to make sure we hadn't had our gas turned off, my friend mentioned maybe I should check the batteries in my digital thermostat. Heck I didn't even know it HAD batteries! I pulled the cover off and discovered three totally dust covered AA batteries. I went around the house and pulled three AA batteries out of remote controls and plugged them in. When the thermostat came back on the numbers were so bright it looked like a neon sign in Vegas.

I was on the phone by this point with my sister. It was cold in  the house so I started drinking some wine Barb had given me from work. (A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to keep warm.)

When I changed the batteries we went from 64 to 65 in a matter of five minutes.

I told my sister I never even knew the thermostat ran on batteries.  It reminded me of the time when the kids were still young and they came out with the wireless mouse for your computer. Of course when they first came out you paid like thirty bucks for one and since we were still doing well back then I ran out to Circuit City and purchased it.

About eight months later it stopped working and I took the mouse back to the store. I told the woman behind the service counter  it had stopped working and wanted another one. She asked me if the batteries in it were new? I said I didn't know it took batteries and she simply replied "Baby, did you  think it was magic?"

Well as matter of fact I did! It came with a little plug in for my modem and I thought it was working off of that.  I felt like an idiot (what else is new) when she put in two AA batteries and it worked like a champ.

So a digital thermostat has batteries too... Learned me another lesson! We are back up to 65 but still a little chilly. I think my batteries were dead in my thermostat but may have a furnace problem too. Just going to bed with the oven on 200 degrees and dealing with it tomorrow.

Massey has a space heater in her room and I have one in the kitchen. All the rest of us are on the third floor where it is five degrees warmer.

Surviving another night here in the Cotton compound. If we can can live without money for two years we can make it one night without heat!

At least I don't have to worry about hot flashes tonight...

COTTON

27,000 !!!

Logged in tonight and noticed the stats...I have had 27,000 hits on my blog! I went to the stats page to see what kind of people read my incessant drivel. I have readers from not only the United States but the following: Russia, India, Philippines, Canada, Germany, Italy, Pakistan(Yikes!) Puerto Rico, Turkey, United Kingdom, Slovenia, Denmark, Australia, and Netherland. That totally blows my itty bitty mind.

I started my blog as a vent but it grew into a personal venture and a healing machine for my soul and sanity.

I went from comfortably well off upper middle class to welfare in the span of less than twelve months. It was an eye opening jaw dropping  lesson in humility and gratitude. I have learned a lot about myself and a lot about how much I am loved and how many blessings I have.

We are on the road back to what Massey calls "Being unpoor." Although Tim and I felt the finacial weight bearing down on us like a ton of bricks, it wasn't easy for my two kid's still at home. We actually had to not so gently shove the oldest out to flap his own wings and fly away. I still feel bad about that, but he has matured and made it on his own and it makes me smile to know how wonderful he has turned out to be.

Still got two at home both in their teens driving me to look like the above photo. Massey is a great girl but when you are feamle and sixteen...Drama is your middle name. I remember it well.
Zach is like a son in a sitcom series....somebody's gotta be making this crap up! I love him anyway but he is close to getting shooed out of the nest as well. (Maybe his older bro needs a room mate.)

My life is comical to say the least. It is never dull around here.

I came home from work tonight after working an eleven hour shift to find my living room all re arranged by my younger son. He moved the 42" TV to the other side of the room which was fine by me. Now it won't have the glare coming through the windows making the picture harder to see in  the daytime.  My problem was he routed the cable wire across my fireplace mantle and had it tacked down with push pins (nice touch.) He also moved my sofa out of the living room and into my dining room for some unknown and bizarre reason.

I came home from work and sat down at  the computer in  the dining room to check my email when Tim came downstairs from the bedroom and spoke to the two dogs laying on  the floor behind me. "Well look at  this, now Momma can do her blog and then just plop on the couch and go to sleep."

I glared at him but relented the glare when he rubbed my aching shoulders for about 45 seconds.

Now tomorrow I have to drag my couch back up to the living room. At least the living room is all vacuumed and ready for the return of the "sitting device."

One thing is for sure...there's never a dull moment in our house (unless we are ALL gone) but then again who knows WHAT my two crazy pups do when we are!

Thinking about getting a Christmas tree on my day off tomorrow. Heck I could buy a forest of trees with all the room we have now in my livng room...

Til next time, lived another day to tell another story COTTON

Had a "ME" Night

 I don't get out much unless it is to work, the high school, bank or the grocery store. Tonight I met former co workers at Mama Lucia's for a Holiday gathering. The above photo is Massey with one of my favorite former co workers who looks so much like Massey it scares me. They both have that wild curly hair  they always try to pin down (not working) and those wide faces. When I started working at the Western Sizzler back in 1998 (When Massey was a toddler) people used to think she was Massey's mom. Looking at pictures of them together I can see why!

I booked us a room at Mama Lucia's and we all got together for the best  three hours I have had in a while.

 Of course the food was fabulous. The wine even better and the company outstanding!

 These were the peeps I worked with WAY BACK WHEN...when it was fun to work at Western Sizzler.

I think only one of them works there now, which should tell you something about working for corporate.

I work like a demon but it is TOTALLY my decision to do so. Two years ago Tim and I were bringing in six figures a years. We bottomed out when Tim lost his job and fell into bankruptcy when I lost mine.

We have scraped, kited and been blessed with amazing help from family friends and even strangers we are almost there, we are on the cusp. We can breathe and answer the phone again.
I was pretty pissed at my former job for firing me, actually I still am...and will be for at least the next  ten years.
Tonight I met my former co workers for a Holiday dinner at my new place of employment for some of the best food and drink you could have. We laughed and remembered old times...the GOOD times.

My boss gave us all free appetizers and the meal was outstanding...the company even better.

You know, I  had a couple of tough years but when you are fifty one, that is a blip on the screen in the grand scheme of life.  I had so many friends tonight tell me that I was doing it right. Keep going, don't look back...there is nothing you can do about the past, you can only control your future.

My future will be great. Heck give me another year and maybe I can also solve the whole "Hot Flash" thing because it is driving me insane. When I was younger hot and sweaty meant great sex...now it means "Turn the  ceiling fan on."

I take maybe one day off a month (maybe two) but tonight was one that made me smile, made me happy and made me feel like I was  young again.

It is nights like this that make it all worth while...I felt young and pretty (all dressed up) and spent the night with peeps that I love.
Thank you PEEPS for making me feel loved, I needed that!

Til next time..Contented COTTON

Merry Christmas...Sometimes You Have to Make it Merry, But "It's All Good"

 Above is the woman who started it all. She married my Diddy  and spat out three kids,  me being the last. We lived a marvelous life, nowhere near being rich but pleasant loving and comfortable. I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anything. The only regret I have is that my Momma died way too soon and never got to meet her grand kids. Of course all of the grands know about her, we talk about her all the time as if she were still here and have so many things of hers in our houses  that it like a "Momma Museum."

 Once I finally grew up at the tender age of thirty I met and married a wonderful man I have not only shoved down the path of life but hollered at most of the way,  and he still comes home from work every night. We have three kids and somehow they all survived having an idiot for a mother. I will be the first to say "I am a little OUT THERE." I am frantic and go go go most all the time, when my husband is more "Do what?" He has always been the bread winner (considered THAT his input to raising kids) and I have always been the Momma. When the kids were young I took them down to the Christmas parade in Atlanta...do you think HE would? (That would be a negative, Ghost Rider.) It was freezing cold and the kids were like little frozen statues but the parade was awesome!

 Santa was there and I believe this preceded the year my older son told his younger brother there was no Santa...(He got in a heap of crap for that seepage of truth..)

 Christmas is wonderful when your kids are young...especially REALLY young. Hand them a fancy bow and a big box they can climb in and "It's all good."

 Then they start to grow up and you have to actually somehow fulfill wishes. Lucky for us we were doing pretty well until a couple of years ago.

 I remember one Christmas when a friend of mine at work said she had a small rabbit coat just the size for Massey when she was about four. I took it home and put it out Christmas Eve  like Santa had brought it.  She woke up and thought she was a movie star when she saw the jacket. We went to my sister's house Christmas day and my brother in law commented to her how beautiful it was and asked if it was Mink? I'll never forget little Massey looking up at him , rubbing the arm of the coat and replying "No it's Chicken." In the above photo she allowed her older cousin on the left to wear her "Chicken Coat" for this photo.

 The kids starting growing up but still had Gran pa. My Diddy really never recovered from losing my Momma. She was bossy like me and totally ran the household while my Diddy was away earning the money to pay for it.

 Tim and I were much the same. He made most of the money and I made most of the decisions regarding the kids. I went to the PTA meetings,  was the room mom and the one at the Fall festival and award ceremonies at the end of the school year.

 My older and only brother has given up and loved his nephews...and wrestles the crap out of them every  time he sees them. He has spoiled Massey for me, and for that I will always be grateful.

 The above photo is my fave...Does this picture not SCREAM "I Love You Uncle Chris, just let go?"

 This picture of Massey and her Dad makes me smile. Number one I love Tim's hair short and Number two the look on Massey's face tells it all. She loves him even if her her tiny arms can't reach around him. Sometimes your arms aren't big enough to grasp the love...But it is there.

This was one of the last Christmas  photos with my Diddy while he was in complete control of his faculties and  still the Diddy I grew up with. He died from West Nile virus in 2002 and although it almost killed me it also made me realize how lucky he was to go from healthy to death in the span of ten days. My brother always reminds me..."Our family takes the express checkout."

I have had a fabulous life. I had a childhood that millions of children dream of. I have had an adulthood that I didn't deserve after my wicked  twenties and have a family of my own that I love so intensely it sometimes consumes me. Completely.