Friday, September 30, 2016

I Was Afraid of This

My Lost Boy packed up his truck today and headed back to Newnan. It broke my heart.

No one talked him into moving here to Orlando with us, it was his decision. So was today's.

Our second day here ... said thought he had made a mistake. Said he'd felt that way since the minute we pulled out of the driveway of our home for twenty years, but I was following him in my car so forged along. Actually it was more like me chasing him. He did almost ninety the entire way. I thought he was anxious to start a new life but guess he just has a lead foot.

I asked him why the change of heart?

He said had left the best job he'd ever had.

I told him I'd just done the exact same thing, but how could you know if greater things were ahead if you didn't try?

Out of all my kids, he's the most like me. We're both stubborn, opinionated and always think we're right. It's a blessing and a curse. To live with him is to battle myself and neither of us likes to lose.

I lost today.

His old boss called the second day we were here and offered him the position of sous chef with a substantial raise if he came back. Didn't help they also offered to wire him the money to move back.

Zach had a couple of tumultuous late teen years. He made some bad decisions but owned up to and paid for them all, like a man.

He was the happiest little guy when around five or six. When his ADD was finally diagnosed, turned quiet and pensive on the only meds they had then...stimulants. It changed him into someone he wasn't. He began to make straight A's in school but totally lost his appetite. This was during my stint as a "Lunch Lady" at their elementary school and watched him spend the entire lunch period counting ceiling tiles and chomping his teeth together.

Screw the good grades, I wanted my kid back.

He went from chomping his teeth to being sulky ... and then some, but all phases every boy becoming a young man goes through.

His friend took the above picture of him a few years back. He called it "Three jack asses".

So guess my jack ass is following his heart just like I am.

That's my boy.

I'll be okay once I get a call from him, safely back in Newnan.

When your kid is twenty four... they're not a kid anymore and simply need to let them be an adult.

You need to let them learn it's okay to leave but also learn they are on their own now.

I've never hugged him more tightly or as long as I did today. It was the first time he let me kiss him goodbye in over half a decade.

Waiting for that text or call around ten tonight which will allow me to finally exhale (some of) my worries.

God Speed to Zach.

Til next time...COTTON

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