We had to go take a check to a bartender I used to work with who won a raffle that Massey's guard held. Unfortunately he was at work and I had to walk through the doors I said I would never walk through again. I didn't hear any cheers go up when I walked in...but I fully expected that. There are VERY few people there that I care about and I could count them on four fingers. Luckily three of them were there and were very nice to me. It's amazing when you work at a place for over a decade ... once you get fired they quickly forget about you. It took all the strength I had to even open the door and walk in.
Once I walked back out the door five minutes later I felt an immense feeling of relief knowing that I never had to open those doors or wounds again. I know I should let my anger go, but I believe it will be years before it subsides. I gave 13 years of my life to that company. I did everything they ever asked of me and more. I was a devoted employee but once I had troubles in my own life they dropped me like a rotten potato. If it had affected only me I think I would have been over the bitterness months ago but they put my entire family in a desperate situation with no possible way to recover and showed no remorse for the place we ended up. I truly believe that the one's responsible will get their due one day ...God's big on Karma.
Before we left Massey wanted to go hug one of the regular's. I told her I would wait in the car. When she got in the car she was smiling. I asked her what she was smiling at and she said when she hugged his neck the man next to him asked who she was and the man Massey hugged said "This is Kelly's daughter . Kelly doesn't work here anymore because the idiots fired her." I know he probably said that just to make Massey feel good (and it did) but it made me feel good too.
As I drove out of the parking lot I realized I never had to go back again. I never had to see any of them again unless I chose to do so. There was nothing more they could do to me...they had done enough and now the book was closed. The further away I got the easier it was to breathe.
I had to take Massey back to the high school to paint their tarp for the Winter Guard season and I was due back for my dinner shift. My hands were still shaking after I dropped Massey off and I silently cursed myself for letting it all get to me again.
I walked back into work after my 30 minute break and the bottom fell out. "HAPPY HOLIDAYS, MERRY CHRISTMAS, GO KWANZA, SPIN THAT DRADLE!" It was a mad house.
What's even better is that at my new place it is quality quality quality. My old place was quanity quanity quanity. Sold a $69.00 bottle of wine (Thanks Anna) and waited on just seven tables and walked out with $177.00 after tip out. Had I been in my old place I would have waited on 25 tables and been lucky to walk with $150.00 after doing an hour's worth of sidework and rolling at least 100 sets of silverware.
It's still a balls to the wall job but it is for a family business not a huge corporate never seen CEO...and lucky for me a family that seems to genuinely love me.
It took me until another server and I closed our first check splitting a $125.00 tip before I could quit thinking about how humiliating it was to have to walk back into that dungeon with people staring at me like I was a stranger when they used to act like they were my friend.
When I left work tonight I was finally over my grudge. I think I finally let some of the venom go as I walked out of the restaurant that treats me as a part of the family with their huge heart ... instead of the insignificant speck of a huge corporation that couldn't care less.
Granted it could have been better timing. Granted I could have been better prepared for financial catastrophe. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I am so strong now I don't even wear a bra and panties ...I wear a Wonder Woman suit under my clothes. Thank goodness I am skinny as a rail and you can't see the bulge of my big gold belt under my shirt. My gold bracelets look pretty with my uniform though and give me that softer looking image since I have such a short hair cut and my youngest son thinks I look like a Lesbian. That's okay, I think he talks like the son of Stalin but I love him anyway.
Getting my groove back and my Christmas Spirit on.
Dang it feels good to feel good again.
Til next time...Contented Cotton
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